Stop Touching That!

The crown prince keeps making advances faster than we expect. Every new step brings a mixture of joy and pain. We want him to develop and grow to be a man, but I am going to miss this baby a great deal. Once he’s gone, he is gone for good.

Today I awakened, rolled over, and saw a big toothless smile about 6 inches in front of me. My son was as happy as a groupie watching Mick Jagger step out of a limo. And he was lying on his side!

My wife was reluctant to push him to roll over and lie on his stomach, so he has not been quick to develop in this area. He did not learn to roll quickly. She finally admitted her mistake and relented. He yelled and thrashed a lot, but he eventually decided to man up and learn.

This morning, he outdid himself. He lay on his back between us, and when he wanted attention from one of us, he would roll in the appropriate direction. He kept going back and forth. It was a great thing to see.

His mom says he plays with her now. He pokes and grabs her and waits to see her reaction, as if she were the baby.

We just got him a sippy cup, and he sometimes takes a little water. He has started choosing what he wants. Sometimes he insists on feeding from his mother. Sometimes he wants milk or formula from a bottle. Now he is also trying to get water. He seems to demand solid food instead of liquid from time to time.

He pushes things away when he doesn’t want them.

We have to watch him around baby wipes. Our practice has been to drop one over his crotch during diaper changes to block surprise attacks, but now he likes to grab them and chew on them to get the liquid out. He can also tear them. My wife found a piece of one in his mouth a day or two back. I hope that was the only piece he managed to cram in there, because it was all we found.

He looks like an adult sometimes. He gets quiet and looks very serious while he does things, as if he is thinking hard. He seems oddly mature until it passes and he starts screaming over nothing.

Last night, he only woke up once. His mother was very pleased. She now has hopes she will be able to sleep so her memory starts working again. I am tired of closing the refrigerator door for her.

I am cautious about making biased-parent predictions, but I think he is going to be very, very smart. These days, medical science and other fields related to childrearing are shaped largely by political concerns, not evidence, so it is fashionable to say kids who develop early aren’t necessarily smart. You’re also not supposed to say a baby’s intelligence is related to the size of his head. But if you dig into the subject, you learn that babies who develop quickly are likely to be smarter as adults, and there is a relationship between head size and intelligence. My son keeps passing milestones fast, and he has an enormous melon on him.

He seems to have high social intelligence. That’s good. Nobody wants a math nerd who repels women, moves to a cabin, and mails people bombs.

When I was a baby, my mother was in a drugstore in Tampa, and I was with her. An old Jewish man looked at me and said, “He’s going to be brilliant. He has a big head.” I love that story. A blessing combined with a staggering lack of tact. Maybe he was just trying to make her feel good about my appearance.

My son inherited a big head, and I hope the God of the Jews will put something good in it.

You Can’t Stop the Signal

The clouds have parted. Today I got my Kubota mower to start and run normally. Sort of.

When I bought the mower, the seller had no trouble starting it and putting it on his trailer. Then it started acting up on me, and then it quit starting altogether.

For reasons I consider stupid, this mower has a very complicated starting system. I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if it ran on gas.

You can’t just say, “It won’t crank, so it’s part A.” A given problem could be caused by any of several bad parts. I decided to start out by looking at fixes that were easy and/or cheap and/or highly likely to work. When that didn’t work out, I got systematic. I studied and worked with AI, and I came up with 5 possible problems. There are others, but these were highest on the Occam’s Razor list.

I wrote out a list of problems and the ways I should approach them. Then things got worse and worse. I would work on one problem and find out it didn’t help. Then I would work on another one and get the same result. All this time, the list was dwindling, I was suffering, and I was getting closer and closer to the most expensive problem on the list: the mowers $330 electronic control module (“ECM” or “controller”).

Everything has to be computerized these days. My toaster is computerized. It’s not clear WHY everything has to be computerized, but it’s definitely true. Don’t question it.

Cars are full of computers now, and the disease has spread to small ag and landscaping machines. As you probably know, these computers cost a lot, losing one is a crippling blow, and manufacturers stop making them after a while, so you could end up with a useless machine simply because the computer is no good.

Somehow tractors and mowers used to run without computers, but trust me; they can’t run without them now. Just believe. Don’t think.

Originally, I thought my controller was important. I thought Kubota would not put it in a machine unless it did important things. It turns out I was totally wrong about that.

I thought the controller managed everything. Engine speed. Gauges. The transmission. Whatever. Because who would have an expensive, proprietary controller made if it didn’t do important things?

Last night, I went deeper into the starting mystery. I got out the schematic for the system. I wrote up my own analysis. You can read my analysis and understand everything about the starting system.

What I learned was annoying. The controller serves only two purposes. It prevents the mower from starting if the lawyer switches aren’t just right, and it also tells the mower to shut down when you turn the key to the off position.

I’m not kidding. It’s totally unnecessary. You can make the switches and the shut-off solenoid do their thing with analog parts of the kind Radio Shack used to sell.

CORRECTION: I forgot to mention the third function of the controller. It runs a horn that goes off when the mower overheats. You can rely on this to protect your investment. Or you could just look at the temperature gauge once in a while.

The key tries to send a signal to a relay. If it succeeds, the relay relays the signal to the starter, and the mower starts. The controller butts in and decides whether the relay is allowed to send the signal. If even one of the 5 safety switches is in the wrong position, your mower goes nowhere.

A relay contains an internal switch. The controller operates the switch, and the switch sends the signal to the starter. If you short the switch terminals, you cut the controller out of the game. It has no say. It’s like an enraged Karen, screeching at you from behind foot-thick glass. The mower starts and runs.

Shorting is exactly what I decided to do. I need to mow my yard regularly without long breaks due to starting problems. The weather is like the weather in an air fryer. I don’t feel like spending another week or two covered in mower grease, removing and installing parts and finding out it doesn’t help.

Because I always have wire and spade connectors around, like a normal person, I made a short wire with a spade on each end, and I shoved it into the receptacle the relay ordinarily goes into. The mower started and ran like a champ.

The safety switches did not work, so I had to be careful not to do obviously-stupid things. I didn’t start the mower with the transmission or blades engaged. I didn’t jump off the mower while it was moving and lie down in front of it. Things like that. It was challenging.

When I was done, I had to get off and push a little lever on the engine to shut it down. Whew. That was hard. The lever is always exposed, and it’s easy to reach.

Will I ever get around to putting the safety switches and key shut-off in order? Maybe. It should be very simple with cheap components.

If the controller is no good, I don’t think I should replace it, because it costs a lot and could go bad again, and I would rather not depend on Kubota to keep making them. Parts prices keep skyrocketing, and that’s another factor. If the mower can be made to work without a controller, I should fix it so it doesn’t need one.

I don’t want the parking brake switch because I can’t understand why it exists. Why do you need the brake to be on when you start the engine? With the brake off, the mower could roll downhill, but then it could do that whether you start it or not, and if it’s going to roll downhill, you should notice this before starting it, because the mower will be…rolling downhill.

The other switches make some sense. You don’t want the mower starting in gear or has the blades engaged, because it’s bad for the mower and makes you feel stupid. I don’t think that little starter will successfully crank the engine when the transmission or PTO is engaged, though. That would be some starter.

Because you sit on the front of the mower, the seat switch is a good thing to have. It is possible to fall off and land in front of the mower, and without the switch, it could keep on going, and then you would be julienned. The seat has a belt, though, so it’s not like the switch is necessary.

My John Deere’s seat switch shuts the motor off when you dismount, no matter what. That’s horrible. The Kubota only shuts the motor down when the blades are engaged. That’s fine. That’s how it should be done. The mower shouldn’t quit every time you have to get off to move a stick. You should be able to stop the PTO and leave the motor running.

I can make a circuit to shut off the fuel with the key. It’s more complicated than jumping the starter relay, but it’s not hard, either. Or I could just install a shopmade cable that allows me to pull the shutdown lever from the seat.

Bypassing the controller will never, ever cost me any useful function, but it will save me the horror of trying to test it, as well as the horror of paying for a new one if the old one is bad.

Why did Kubota make the controller? They must have had some reason for making an expensive, unrepairable part that does things cheap, easily-repaired parts can do.

Figuring out whether the controller is no good is not easy. Wire connections inside the plug and receptacle can fail. The ground can fail. Relay problems and ignition switch problems may look like controller problems. Kubota’s workshop manual doesn’t list any ways to test a controller, so their mechanics don’t know how to do anything with them.

I guess you can turn your ignition key and see if the controller sends a signal to the starter relay, but it could fail to do that because of a well-hidden problem in the wiring harness. That happened to one guy who wrote about it on the web.

In order to be sure the controller is bad, you really have to buy a new controller, plug it in, and see what happens. If the mower runs, the controller was bad. If not, you learn nothing at all, you still have a puzzle to solve, and you have a dirty part the dealer won’t take back.

The controller is dumb. That’s what it boils down to. It protects Kubota’s lawyers and does nothing a simpler set of components can’t do.

One great thing about learning that the controller is idiotic is that it tells me my fuel-delivery problems have nothing to do with the controller. The mower was slowing down and almost stopping, randomly. I looked this up, and a bad source told me it could be caused by a bad controller. This is not true. It might be true in a car or some other machine with a real computer, but it’s not true in the case of Kubota’s rinky-dink lawyer toy. The controller can’t affect the fuel supply unless it cues the shut-off solenoid at the wrong time, and if it did that, the mower would stop, not slow down.

I thought I needed new fuel filters, so I ordered some. On a recommendation, I also put Clear-Diesel in both tanks. Today, the right tank ran like a Tesla on cruise control, but on the left tank, the mower slowed down. That tells me the fuel in the left tank is probably bad. If the filters were bad, the mower would run badly on both tanks.

I don’t know if Clear-Diesel will help the left tank. If not, I can always dump the diesel in the woods. I mean in a proper receptacle.

I ordered new relays because one of mine tested bad. I later learned the reason it tested bad is that the manual is wrong. It told me to expect an impossible resistance across two terminals. I think the Japanese guy who wrote the Japanese manual also wrote the English manual, and I think he was drunk the whole time.

In case anyone else out there has a ZD326 or ZD331 that won’t start, I’ll paste what I wrote about the starting system. You can find the workshop manual online in PDF form. I don’t promise what I wrote is correct, but I promise it’s a lot better than your wild guesses.

KUBOTA ZD326 STARTING CIRCUITRY

Some of this material is repetitious because it makes it easier to understand. Wire color codes follow at the end.

OVERVIEW

The starting system’s main parts of interest are the ignition switch, ECM (controller), starter relay, starter (includes solenoid), two NO motion lever safety switches, one NO seat safety switch, one NO PTO lever safety switch, and one NC brake safety switch.

N=normally. O=open. C=closed. “Normal” means the mower will not start.

PURPOSE OF ECM

The ECM’s only purposes relevant to starting and running are 1) to monitor the safety switches and either agree or refuse to tell the starter relay to start, and 2) to power the relay that shuts down the mower. When the key is turned to the stop position, the ECM closes the shut-off relay for about 10 seconds, cutting off fuel.

The ECM also makes the horn blow when the mower overheats, but there is an independent temperature gauge on the control panel.

The ECM does not do anything essential, like making the engine run correctly. It can be bypassed completely if necessary. The ECM is not likely to fail, but if everything else has been checked, and the symptoms are consistent with ECM failure, it has to be replaced. It can’t be repaired without extraordinary effort.

A failed ECM can cause the mower to refuse to crank or stop. A failed shut-off solenoid can prevent the mower from starting and stopping, but it can’t prevent it from cranking.

A bad ground or other connection can simulate ECM failure.

The ECM has 9 connections.

OR = positive from PTO switch
BR = positive to starter relay coil
GB = positive from left motion control lever switch
WL = power to shut-off solenoid.
B = ground
YR = positive from seat switch
RY = positive from ignition switch terminal AC
WB = positive from brake switch
RW = positive to shut-off relay coil

RELATIONSHIP OF IGNITION SWITCH TO ECM

The ignition switch has a rotating conductor (terminal B) which is turned by the key and always hot. It is always connected to the R positive wire. When turned to any position other than off (glow plug, start), it is in contact with terminal AC, which can be considered the ignition’s ECM terminal.

Terminal AC is connected to the ECM (controller) and all safety switches (motion lever, seat, PTO, brake). The motion lever switches are in series, so 13 (right) is connected to RY and AC, and 14 (left) is connected to the ECM, providing positive input. The path goes AC-RY-left switch-right switch-ECM.

NORMAL START PROCEDURE

To start, close every switch except the brake switch (levers at rest, PTO off, operator in seat), and open the brake switch by applying the brake. Turn the key partially, letting the glow plug heat if needed. Then turn to the start position and hold until the engine starts.

BYPASSING SWITCHES

The brake safety switch is normally closed (NC). All others are NO. Because it’s NC, the brake switch can be bypassed by pulling the connector and covering it. To bypass the other switches, you have to jump them.

HOW IGNITION SWITCH WORKS IN GLOW PLUG POSITION

When the ignition switch is turned partially, it first connects hot terminal B to both terminal AC and terminal 19. Terminal AC feeds the ECM via the RY wire, and terminal 19 runs the glow plug lamp and glow plug.

Terminal 19 is not significant for starting, running, or stopping the mower. Current goes through terminal 19, the lamp and plug, and then to ground. The mower should start and run fine when 19 is out of commission unless the glow plug is needed.

IMPORTANCE OF TERMINAL AC AND RY WIRE TO STARTING

The RY wire that goes from terminal AC to the ECM sends signal through all safety switches along the way. The safety switches all get positive from RY.

IF TERMINAL AC IS BAD OR WIRE RY ISN’T LIVE, THE MOWER WILL NOT START BECAUSE IT WILL ASSUME A MOTION LEVER SWITCH OR THE PTO SWITCH IS IN THE WRONG POSITION.

THE ECM HAS A SINGLE GROUND, AND IF IT FAILS, THE ECM WILL NOT WORK, CAUSING STARTING AND STOPPING PROBLEMS.

HOW IGNITION SWITCH WORKS IN START POSITION

When the ignition switch is turned past the glow plug position, it disconnects 19 and connects hot B to AC and terminal 50 (BY). Terminal 50 feeds voltage through the BY wire to the starter relay. If the relay is closed, the voltage goes out through the BW wire to the starter solenoid. This is the voltage that tells the starter solenoid to turn.

The starter relay is closed by the ECM (not the ignition switch) through the BR wire. The current exits through the relay coil to the B wire (ground). Don’t confuse the B (black) wire with the ignition switch B terminal.

To start the mower, the ECM needs to see safety switch positive at YR (seat), OR (PTO), and GB (left motion lever in series with right). It needs to see RY positive next to the brake switch WB input. If it sees positive at the input from the brake switch (WB), the mower will not start. WB should be neither positive nor negative when the mower starts. No input.

STARTER RELAY

The starter relay is #6 in the manual’s diagram. It connects to BR (ECM), BY (ignition positive, terminal 50), BW (positive signal to starter), and B (ground) wires. It has 5 connections, one of which is not used. It switches between two poles; off (87A, dead) and on (87, BW). In the rest state, the switch connects the dead pole. Terminal 87 is the BW wire which goes to the starter solenoid.

Terminals 85 (BR) and 86 (B) send ECM juice through the coil. They are connected to the BR (ECM hot output) and B (ground) wires. The B wire is not important for analysis, since it never changes. A positive input has to be connected to BR in order for the relay to close, and the ECM does this. BR exits the ECM next to OR, if the schematic is any indication.

When the relay closes, it connects the relay switch’s BY wire (positive input from terminal 50) to the BW wire that feed the starter solenoid. This starts the mower.

On the schematic, from top to bottom, the starter relay connections are:
1. ECM – BR
2. Ignition switch – BY
3. Starter – BW
4. Ground – B

Jumping BY and BW should bypass the ECM and start the mower without harming anything. UPDATE: I tested this, and it works just fine.

The shut-off solenoid can also be set up this way, but you have to put in a timer or a momentary switch, because if the solenoid is always trying to shut off when the key is in the stop position, the battery will drain.

The manual shut-off lever is easily reached at the right rear of the mower.

TESTING RELAYS

All three relays on the mower are the same. You can test resistances to see if they are working. The manual’s test resistances are wrong.

Resistances: 85-86: ~90 ohms (coil)
87-87A: infinite
87-30: infinite
30-87A: 0 ohms

REMOVING IGNITION SWITCH

Use a pin spanner to turn the outer switch cover to unscrew it. Remove the cover over the motion lever arm switch. Remove all screws from the control panel so it is loose. Push the ignition switch down under the panel, pull it out between the panel and fender, depress the tab on the connector, and remove the switch.

DISASSEMBLING IGNITION SWITCH

There are two tabs on the sides of the switch housing. Pull them outward while pushing up on the key cylinder (keyhole). It helps to put a small object in a vise and rest the key cylinder on it while you pull the tabs and push the switch down.

By comparing the ignition wire colors to the switch’s terminals, you can figure out which terminal does what and how to check resistances to see if the switch is good. Removing oxidation from the copper contacts can reduce excess resistance.

WIRE COLOR CODES

B black
BR black/red
BW black/white
BY black/yellow
G green
GB green/black
L blue
LW blue/white
OR orange
ORL orange/blue
P pink
R red
RB red/black
RG red/green
RL red/blue
RW red/white
RY red/yellow
V violet
W white
WB white/black
WG white/green
WL white/blue
Y yellow
YL yellow/blue
YR yellow/red
YW yellow/white

That Little White Thing Behind the Grass is my House

The Kubota mower saga continues. The mower which was supposed to be my deliverer has become my captor, forcing me to spend hours and hours working on it. Yesterday I had to come up with a new strategy to fix it.

Clearly, this means I have to discuss Richard Feynman.

Being smart is a good thing, obviously, but it has its drawbacks. It can actually cause you to behave stupidly in practice. If you go through life figuring things out effortlessly or having answers just come to you, you can find yourself floundering when a puzzle is actually challenging, because you haven’t done what less-intelligent people do when confronted with hard questions. You haven’t come up with logical strategies to solving problems. As a result, you may find yourself struggling with problems people with less brains cope with more easily. You sit there waiting for answers to come, cycling through ideas that have already failed, like a bear pawing at a combination lock.

Richard Feynman claimed his IQ was 125. And Oprah claimed she lost like 150 pounds in about a month without drugs. Feynman had an impish sense of humor, so I guess this was one of his little jokes, intended to upset less-intelligent people who knew their IQ’s were up in the 180 range and make them wonder how Mr. 125 had left them in the dust.

I don’t think his IQ was 125, but I think that if it had been, he would have punched above his weight because of his approach to thinking.

I read a story he wrote about ants. He saw ants marching around in a dorm room, and he started asking himself why they did certain things. Using bait and some other handy objects, he was able to do several experiments and uncover some pretty remarkable facts about ants. He was systematic. He developed logical approaches. He didn’t sit back and think, “I’m a genius, so I’ll know the answer in a minute regardless of what I do.”

I thought about that story yesterday after a most miserable day working on my new mower in the heat and roasting sun. It was starting intermittently when I got it, and then it just plain quit, and I had to start hot-wiring it.

When I looked for answers, I decided the smart thing was to take care of the easiest and/or most likely and/or cheapest fixes instead of getting into a lot of diagnostic drudgery. If they worked, great. If not, I would have new parts in my mower which couldn’t hurt anything and might help it stay running longer without problems.

This kind of approach only works when you get lucky, which usually happens for me, but in this case, didn’t.

Having suffered considerably in the process of replacing two safety switches that were likely to have failed but actually hadn’t, I decided to change course and take the Feynman approach. I went to AI sites, I looked at the workshop manual, and I tried to make deductions and formulate a plan.

I came up with 5 problems that could prevent a mower from cranking. The seat switch had been bypassed, and the crude, bubbastic bypass connection could be failing. A safety switch on the brake, the PTO lever, or one of the mower control levers could be bad. The starter or solenoid (one indivisible package) could be bad. The starter relay could need replacing. Finally, the ignition switch could be no good.

It was also possible the mower’s electronic controller needed replacing, but that was too unlikely to consider at this point.

By the time I made the list, the switches on the PTO lever and brake had already been replaced needlessly, and I knew the starter and solenoid were fine, so I moved on. I tried to come up with a smart sequence of things to look at.

The seat switch splice had to be my first stop because it could get me going in 5 minutes. It seemed likely to be the problem because the mower had started once after I moved the seat. It was also an extremely simple fix. Find the splice and redo it with a wire nut. Tools not required.

Number two: the starter relay. This was not as likely to be the culprit as the safety switches, but checking it with an ohmmeter was a 10-minute job requiring the ohmmeter, a wrench, and a screwdriver.

Number three: the safety switches. The remaining switches were not nearly as hard to replace as the ones I had already worked on, but they were harder to deal with than the relay, so I would leave them for later. Testing them would be simple. They had to be open for the mower to run, so I can just disconnect them.

Number four: the ignition switch. Kubota didn’t make a point of creating handy test points for people with bad ignition switches, and getting the switch out to test it is unpleasant. I could test it by opening a connector on the wiring harness to expose a couple of conductors. That would be more pleasant than removing the switch, but still unpleasant. The switch worked fine in every position except the start position, so I figured it was probably okay.

Today I identified the starter solenoid by the colors of the wires going into it, and it took me two minutes or so to get it out. The manual lists the proper resistances between the terminals, and the relay failed one test. I went to Ebay and ordered three new relays (the mower uses the same kind of relay for three things), and they are on the way. They’re $10 each, and if one has failed, the others could be on the way out.

Will the new relay get my mower running? No idea, but it should. I can test my theory by moving one of the other relays to the starter position. One relay only controls a horn that goes off when the mower overheats, so I can do without that for a few days.

I should have switched the relays after testing the bad one, but what can I tell you? It’s hot outside. Feynman would be ashamed of me.

If the relays don’t help me, I have to test the safety and ignition switches, and after that, I have to consider the possibility that a $332 controller has bitten the dust. I think I tested the relay correctly, though, and the mower can’t start if it’s bad, so I have every reason to think I will not need a controller.

I caused myself a lot of very unpleasant and unnecessary work by guessing at the mower’s ailment. If Feynman were here, he would have gotten where I am in two days. Nobody could do it faster except someone who is familiar with Kubotas. Two days is how long it would take to understand the starting system, including an hour or two to come up with a plan.

I should try to take the Feynman approach to problems from now on, during what little remains of my life. Prayer first. Then research and logic. I can’t get back all the hours I’ve spent nullifying my intelligence by hoping answers fall out of the sky, but I should be able to benefit to some limited degree.

The Opposite of Peter Pan Syndrome

My buddy Mike sent me a link to a video about Jackson Laux, and I was very impressed.

The web says Jackson, or maybe I should call him Mr. Laux because he is so grown up, is 9 years old. He is Internet-famous for his love of tractors, especially John Deere. He has appeared in lots of videos. He has a spic-and-span shop. He has multiple tractors. He can talk all day about them. Their strengths and weaknesses and so on. He really enjoys what he’s doing.

As a Christian, I find Mr. Laux interesting, because he helps me understand what most parents do wrong.

When I was a kid, my dad made very good money. I should know, because I have all the money he never spent. So we went on vacations to Europe to broaden our minds, right? We had music instruction, tutors, and all sorts of help with interests that could be lucrative and fulfilling later in life, right? Well, no. My dad was cheap. We had furniture from discount outlets in the Carolinas. We had cars we got at cost from my mother’s father’s dealership. My sister and I didn’t have much in the way of toys. Another kid down the block gave me hand-me-down toys and clothes. When we traveled, we went to see my mom’s family in Kentucky or we went to the Keys, which were a short drive away.

My hobby was TV. My dad’s hobby, which consumed hours of his life every day. I sat in front of TV sets and ate ice cream.

I had interests, but it never occurred to me to ask my parents to support them. To them, every non-necessity they bought for me was either a toy or a gift. Frivolous. The only exceptions were books, which they didn’t mind paying for, and two banjos. They would never have bought me tools, a tractor, a welder…no way. They would never have put $10,000 in an investment account and taught me what to do with it. They would never have bought me a rental property and helped me manage it.

You go to school. You get B’s or better. You become a lawyer or maybe a doctor. That’s what you do. This was their limited understanding.

My mother didn’t have much in the way of vision, and neither did my dad, but he was worse, because he didn’t care. He didn’t spend time with his kids. He had no idea who our teachers were or what subjects we were taking. He forgot our birthdays. Once, he came home drunk, with no idea it was my birthday. I was using a music stand my mother had bought for $8.00. When he realized what day it was, he asked me how I liked my gift, and he didn’t buy me anything else.

My mother made some effort to interest me in science. I’ll give her that. She enrolled me in a mail-order program that sent me little science kits. She tried to interest me in coin collecting, which was dull, given that there was almost nothing available to spend.

Here I am, an adult with a thousand interests. Writing. Music. Machining. Welding. Cooking. Science. Engineering. Maintaining my land. Building things. Photography. And my parents never managed to set me up with a single activity. Not one! Yes, I got banjo lessons, but the banjo is a dead-end instrument, and music lessons are nothing if you don’t learn to read and write music.

Photography is actually a very profitable profession if you have the gift, and by now I know I have it. I have taken a lot of excellent pictures. I could have made money with cameras.

My parents failed. Now let’s look at my buddy Mike.

He has two sons, and they started life near where I live. Mike spoke to one of their teachers. According to Mike, regarding his son, the teacher said, “He be real smart.”

When he saw the pickle his sons were in, Mike moved to New Hampshire, where they have better public schools. When one of his sons turned out to be a gifted football player, he moved to the DC area and put him in a famous sports high school. When the time came to think about college, Mike’s son was connected with scouts. He didn’t become a pro in the usual sense of the word, but he did receive a free college education, and he is a happy, very successful adult.

Mike lived across the street from me, and his parents didn’t do much to start him off in life. His mother died when he was about 16, and his dad’s involvement with him dried up. His parents can’t take credit for the way he raised his sons, and neither can his wife, who gave him custody during their divorce and then ran off to pursue her career. Mike’s sons are doing better than he did. Mike had to learn to hustle when he was their age, taking whatever job was available or creating his own jobs.

Mr. Laux did not get a job at age three and save and invest and buy tractors and a shop. No one has told me this. I know it because I’m not an idiot. No little kid does that. Even Mozart had an aggressive manager. Mr. Laux’ parents encouraged him in his dream and also financed it heavily. They paid for everything. They knew the difference between spoiling a kid with toys and investing in his future.

As a result, barring unforeseen problems, Mr. Laux will be self-supporting when most kids are rotting their brains with video games and dope, and he will not have to waste 4 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars at a university where he will be pushed to become an antisemitic, God-hating, emasculated, demon-worshiping, drug-using, socialist pervert, given a useless degree in English or History, and then relegated to a cubicle farm.

I will have my son’s back with regard to any wise pursuit that interests him. That doesn’t include getting an English degree or starting a band. He can study STEM fields. He can start a business. He can learn to invest. I’ll help him learn instruments and languages. I will never tell him things I buy that are related to his wise pursuits are frivolous or that he should think I’m generous for buying them. That would be like telling him I’m generous for paying his pediatrician.

I wish I could go back in time about 50 years and give my autopilot parents a good talking-to. It might have given my mother ideas. My dad wouldn’t have paid any attention, because he didn’t care. I wish I could go back and talk to my young self, but I was underdeveloped and hardheaded thanks to my parents, so I don’t know if I would have listened.

I might have listened. I remember a few times in my past when appalled strangers who knew my parents were blowing it told me things that stuck.

My parents didn’t know God. They never heard from the Holy Spirit. We didn’t pray together. I rarely saw the inside of a church. They imparted virtually no wisdom to me. They didn’t cultivate a single useful habit in me. I didn’t have the natural character to raise myself properly. It’s a wonder I’m not living in a refrigerator box.

Associated Press Openly Advises Terrorists on Defeating the Cops

A Florida sheriff has made the news by stating that his department plans to enforce the law. Leftists are outraged. Predictably.

If you haven’t seen the video yet, you will. Wayne Ivey is the sheriff of Brevard County, which is where Cape Canaveral is located. He has caused leftist skulls to pop by going on TV and warning potential rioters about the likely consequences of committing crime in his county. First, he said his department welcomed peaceful protests. Then he said cops would hit back, and he said that if they put officers’ lives or bodies in serious danger, they would be killed “graveyard dead.”

Of course, leftists are saying he threatened to kill people for protesting. The people he explicitly welcomed. A lot of misspelled Internet comments are foaming over with words like “fascism” and “murder.” Internet lawyers who haven’t completed their GED’s are saying Sheriff Ivey should be put in prison for threatening to murder people, and they are claiming that if the police kill anyone in Brevard, his press conference appearance will prove he is guilty of murder.

As always, leftists are cribbing from their father, Satan. The father of every leftist. Satan and his imps want us to think God is unfair for condemning them forever while giving human sinners eternal life in paradise. They love playing victim. Similarly, all the leftist creeps who have been salivating over the prospect of rioting in Florida are now portraying our sheriffs as bullies so they can say that whatever crimes they commit in retaliation are justified.

In a move reminiscent of Kristallnacht, leftists are planning 1800 protests for tomorrow, as part of the 50501 movement. That number means “50 protests, 50 states, 1 movement.” This organization claims to be a genuine grassroots operation, but there is no way that can be true. It started with a Reddit post in January, and organized protests were underway in less than a month. And we have all see the semi trucks dropping off supplies for rioters. Someone is paying for all that.

Prior to Sheriff Ivey’s conference, in which he was surrounded by other law enforcement professionals in agreement, spindly-limbed black-clad putative males who had been busy filling backpacks with weapons were in a position cowards like to occupy: they expected little resistance. Now he has struck fear into their hearts, ruining the fun. Naturally, they’re upset. Each one of them is like a bride who just found out her caterer’s truck lost a wheel on the way to the banquet hall.

I was heartened to see Sheriff Ivey speak his intentions. I’m very tired of having the government hold me down so my enemies can punch me. It’s very heartening to see officials in one state standing up for the innocent against sadistic bullies.

My sheriff is just like Ivey. It comforts me to know that someone in power is willing to work to force malefactors to leave my family alone.

Tomorrow’s planned riots have a collective name: “No Kings.” The idea is that no one should have the kind of power Donald Trump had. Mind you, these are the same lily-livered characters who were so afraid of coronavirus, they stood up for Gretchen Whitmer when she had people arrested for not wearing ineffective masks while mowing their yards.

They didn’t seem upset when Obama went crazy appointing unelected “czars,” and they didn’t mind Andrew Cuomo forcing old people into nursing homes so they could infect each other with covid. They didn’t complain when the IRS tried to hire 89,000 new agents or when it started providing them with guns. It didn’t bother them when Mark Zuckerberg and Google censored half of the country, but they were infuriated when Elon Musk gave our voices back.

They were thrilled when Biden and governors tried to force all of us to take shots that were unnecessary and even deadly. Shots the manufacturers themselves admit were not properly tested.

They’re just fine with fascists, as long as they’re leftist fascists.

It’s a shame so many people think “fascist” is a term that only applies to the right wing. Not true. It’s a very neutral term that can be applied to Stalin just as easily as Mussolini. Look it up. Rioters don’t read dictionaries. These are the people who will loot every sneaker store, Best Buy, liquor store, and Apple bar in a city and leave every bookstore untouched.

Ivey is right to threaten to kill violent rioters who endanger others. This is exactly what the law calls for, and people planning to hurt the innocent need to be put in fear.

He also pointed out that blocking traffic is not peaceful, meaning it’s not Constitutionally protected expression. He said people who tried to swarm cars were likely to be run over, as they should be. Ron DeSantis agrees. It is the state’s official policy not to prosecute innocent drivers who drive through mobs that surround their cars and put them in fear.

This shouldn’t surprise anyone. It is consistent with self-defense common law going back to ancient England. If someone puts you in fear of serious injury or death, you can respond with deadly force, and having a crowd of worthless people hammer on your windows and prevent you from leaving certainly qualifies as putting you in fear.

In Florida, carjackers can be shot dead without consequences, as can arsonists and kidnappers. That has been the law for years. If one person trying to enter your car unlawfully is carjacking and kidnapping, you surely have the right to use your car to flee when two hundred people surround your car.

Unfortunately, the press is doing its best to demonize decent people and praise 50501. The shamefully-biased Associated Press calls 50501 a “grassroots movement” of “everyday people.” Those are the phrases it uses. Only the wicked would fight a grassroots movement and fight back against everyday people!

Rioters aren’t “everyday people.” In fact, “everyday person” has no definition. It must be one of those new terms leftists made up to distort reality. I guess it’s a contrived response, created and propagated via conspiracy, to the fact that conservatives have been exposing professional rioters. It must mean “ordinary local person not paid or trained to riot or bussed in by Alex Soros and Christine Walton, who just happened to show up at a riot with 500 other people at the same time, wearing the same face mask.”

AP is supposed to be an organization that reports only facts, but we all know better. It’s a disgrace to see them using “grassroots” and “everyday” just like the hordes of externally-coordinated leftist talking-points artists all over cable and the web.

If you’ve been reading my blog for years, you remember me correctly telling everyone that real blogging was dead. Corporations took over and produced sites like The Daily Kos and Pajamas Media that only pretended to be blogs. Well, now rioting has gone corporate. Same thing.

The Associated Press is now HELPING people riot and defeat the police. Check out this item from a “protest” checklist AP provided:

Face mask or bandanna, hat and sunglasses: Useful for helping to shield your eyes from pepper spray or tear gas, can also protect you from identification by law enforcement or online doxxing if that’s a concern.

Can you believe that? They’re telling people how to avoid identification by law enforcement. Here’s another:

Many organizations advise protesters to leave their phones at home to protect their privacy as they can easily be tracked. If you must take your phone, keep it turned off until you need it and, before you go, disable Face ID or fingerprint security and stick with the 6-digit passcode instead. You may also consider buying a cheap secondary phone to use.

I wonder why this isn’t a big story. It should be. One of our major news organizations–one which claims not to provide opinion pieces–has openly advised rioters in order to help them escape justice.

Ivey had to point some obvious things out. Burning cars isn’t peaceful. Blocking roads isn’t peaceful. It’s amazing that leftists need to be told these things. They seem to think that unless they’re shooting people in the face, everything they do is protected expression. Most of what we see them do these days is not protected by the Constitution, as well as illegal under federal and state laws.

What we now call “civil disobedience” has another name: crime. It’s also a tool for destroying democracy. We are supposed to use the polls to decide what happens here. Taking over buildings and blocking roads are not legitimate ways of agitating for policy change. If the democratically-elected government disagrees with you, it means you lost, fair and square, and you have a legal obligation to comply. You don’t have a God-given right to burn a store or throw pee at the police just because things didn’t go your way. You get one vote in the booth, not one in the booth and another one running up and down the aisles at Louis Vuitton with your arms full of stolen purses.

When crowds of semi-literate buffoons and enemy aliens get to run the country, democracy will be dead. Your vote will be worth as much as an Obama promise about your healthcare.

Civil disobedience has always been a stupid idea, except for cases in which the government is completely out of hand. Arresting illegal aliens in accordance with federal law does not meet that standard or come anywhere close to it.

For a long time, I have been predicting that idiot mobs would take over, using the web as their nervous system to help them gather and attack. I hope this weekend isn’t the time when it starts in earnest. Sooner or later, these morons will realize the police alone can’t handle them, and that will give them confidence to take over. When that happens, the only group large enough to take them on will be ordinary citizens with rifles. So civil war of a sort.

The black pajama kids, the enemy aliens, and the ghetto looters can handle the police, because they have overwhelming numbers. They will not be able to handle ordinary civilians. There are millions and millions of armed civilians in the US, many with police and military training, many with very sophisticated long-distance weapons, and they are not bound by the same rules of engagement the police follow. If the domestic terrorists get cocky and start playing guerrilla, they may die by the thousands before they realize their poor grasp of math and the law have made them fish in a very tight barrel.

They really need to go home and go back to civilized means of promoting their agendas before something terrible happens. They don’t understand whom they risk provoking. It’s appalling that leftist politicians, journalists, and entertainers are encouraging them to walk into a meat grinder. No one on the left has thought this through. They’re too busy virtue-signaling and committing shameful acts of racist and political sadism to think.

I am extremely grateful to live where I do. When the water starts to rise, it’s better to be on high ground than down in a swamp. Whatever happens, at least people in my area will get more time to deal with it, and this county will not be an early target because domestic terrorists, in addition to being stupid, are very lazy and always start their tantrums in their own cities.

Like UV Light on a Hotel Bedspread

Sometimes I find myself failing to pray as much as I want to, and it’s a big problem. Life stops running as smoothly as it should, and I miss God. I start to worry that I’m planting bad things in my future by failing to pray.

My son was a big distraction when he arrived. Constant demands were placed on my wife and me. She became absorbed with his care, and she often pulled me away from prayer. I have had to fight this ever since he was born.

Lately, things have gotten a lot better for me. I have been praying for God to give both of us grace to spend time with him so we won’t be destroyed. I ended up telling my wife I was done getting up in the morning and feeding our son, because that time was reserved for God. She stopped waking me up and asking me to feed him, and things have improved.

Unfortunately, there is a down side to spending time with the Holy Spirit. He makes you realize how filthy your world is.

I was praying in tongues earlier, and I kept thinking about the corruption of this world. Look what a bizarre situation I live in. I am surrounded by powerful sexual perverts. These people used to be a tiny fringe element.

Not only are they not ashamed (as they should be), they have parades during which they prance about completely naked, in front of kids. They get people fired from their jobs for refusing to endorse their disgusting ways. They make Internet videos in which they threaten to kill normal, decent people for trying to prevent them from exposing their genitals to women and little girls in private areas. The police don’t go after them.

Imagine if normal people were threatening to kill them.

Human beings who are sufficiently high-functioning to read and write, bathe and clothe themselves, and even, in some cases, to have jobs are telling us they belong to the opposite sex, or to nutty “genders” that weren’t invented until about 2022. “I am a tree-sexual.” “My gender is cat.” And mainstream leftists defend them!

When I was born, which wasn’t that long ago in man’s history, things were completely different. Sexual deviants were still being arrested. Better that than the scenario in which we now find ourselves.

People who openly worship Satan are now able to force us to let them lead prayers before government meetings. Satan! The greatest idiot and malefactor who has ever existed!

In the United States, which was once a Christian country, witches routinely gather to curse conservatives and Christians, and we can’t do anything about it.

Our last president invited illegal aliens to come in. Invited them! And half of the population thinks he was right!

As I prayed, I was lying in bed recovering from a man-made plague. Man-made! How could that happen? What species other than man could be stupid enough to give itself a plague?

Every year or so until I die, I can expect to get a disease that didn’t even exist until some fools in China created it. Say what you want about earlier generations; they weren’t dumb enough to make their own epidemics.

Entire sectors of humanity have been weaponized by Satan. They have become, literally, insane. Delusion is now mainstream.

This is especially true of mainstream American blacks. The things they believe are too ridiculous for farce. White people cause all of the world’s problems. There was no slavery until white people created it. Math is racist. Blacks can’t be racist, even if they hate whites openly. Absurdities.

Blacks started a movement to cripple law enforcement over a tiny number of illegitimate killings by police, but they ignored the fact that most murders are committed by blacks, and most of the victims are black.

After decades of idiotic affirmative action, which punished the innocent and rewarded people who caused their own problems, we are still being told that “reparations” have to be provided. You would think that receiving millions of jobs and college admissions other people earned would be considered reparations.

Hordes of confused, godless leftists in the US now feel entitled to physically abuse conservatives, whites, and Christians wherever they find us. A bunch of them just attacked a Christian gathering in Seattle, and the mayor blamed the Christians. Just like Nero.

America is no longer safe for Jews. Not just America, but long-established sanctuaries like New York City and our universities. A group of Jews were just set on fire by an illegal alien–a Muslim terrorist–on an American street.

Our leftists, including many Jews, are kissing up to Muslims and siding against Jews. Sexual deviants are loudly marching in solidarity with Muslims who murder homosexuals as a matter of course. Feminists are siding with Muslims whose religion supports wife-beating, the punishment of rape victims, and barring women from driving.

Anyone who tries to speak a word of helpful correction in this crazy world is punished and silenced. People are too proud to be helped.

Somehow I’m supposed to raise a son in this place. A place where every kid is supposed to have a smartphone, and they routinely send each other pornography they have made.

I can’t send him to school because schools are like pools of infected pus, waiting to fill him with the mental and spiritual diseases of our time. I can’t take him to church because churches persecute the Holy Spirit and fill people’s minds with trash. I can’t let him watch TV unless I want him to be lectured about the glories of homosexuality and socialism. I can’t take him to Disney World unless I want him to see perverted employees selling princess costumes to boys. The movies are out. Secular music is out. I’ll have to cut off most kids who want to be his friends.

What kind of world are we living in now?

If I send him to college, they’ll do their best to convince him Christianity is just a plagiarizing myth structure based on earlier religions. They’ll teach him to fornicate; with other men if possible. They’ll give him bad grades for telling the truth about socialism, slavery, racism, and perversion. I guess business is the only option for him. And he’ll have to operate his business in a very red area unless he wants trouble.

I really hate this place. I can’t say it enough. And when I consider what it should have been, it makes me feel worse. There shouldn’t be any countries; we should all be united as brothers and sisters with Yeshua as our king. There shouldn’t be diseases and wars. Even animals should get along with each other. We should have abundance. We shouldn’t have worries.

After Yeshua returns, the world is going to be like a big petting zoo. Animals won’t kill each other any more. It will be safe to put a baby down next to an asp. We will soak in God’s presence all the time. We will find joy in helping each other. That’s what the world was supposed to be like from the beginning, but instead we have Miley Cyrus and P Diddy. Harvey Weinstein and Lena Dunham. Kim Jong Un and Barack Obama. The Bidens and Kim Kardashian.

Sit down for a few minutes and make a serious effort to imagine a world of love and agreement. Then consider the world you live in.

The sooner the rapture comes, the happier I will be. I don’t know how people who are closer to God than I am stand this place. It’s bad enough for people like me.

The only answer is to go deeper into God’s presence. Turning back isn’t an option. There is nothing behind me I can go back to!

I can’t wait until this is over. This place needs to be incinerated and rebuilt from nothing.

The Customer is Always Wrong

I had a sad experience with pride today.

I was running around with a friend, and we decided to meet another friend for lunch. Both of these guys had tried a local burger joint, and they liked it, so that’s where we went.

It’s a mom and pop joint, literally, in a strip mall. They serve burgers somewhat like the ones from Five Guys. They use sirloin beef. The fries may be frozen, but they are prepared well. You can expect to pay a little more than Five Guys, I think. The price structure is not clear, for reasons I will explain.

The place is very clean. The couple (the mom and pop) that run it are very nice, or at least the mom is. We didn’t talk to the pop. There is plenty of parking.

You order at a counter, and you wait until they call you. Then you take your food to your table. You have to clean up your own mess afterward.

The owners were the only people working there today, but there was a tip jar on the counter anyway. In a self-serve restaurant.

They don’t take credit cards. It’s cash or nothing. The mom told us it would cost her $24,000 per year to process cards, and she wasn’t paying it. They had an ATM in back. The ATM charged one of my friends $3, jacking the cost of his meal up considerably.

I tried to order a burger and a drink, thinking it would be cheaper than a burger, drink, and fries. The mom said something weird about discounting the food by $2 because I was not using their ATM. She said this made the combo cheaper than a burger and drink. I don’t see how that could be true, since the burger and drink should also be affected by the ATM discount, but whatever, I didn’t want to get into it, so I paid and sat down.

Why wasn’t the discount $3? I don’t know.

My complaints:

1. No credit cards? Paying cash is considered a hassle these days. Personally, I have chosen to avoid restaurants many times because I didn’t have cash on me. The owners don’t know I avoided their restaurants, because I didn’t write them letters saying, “I avoided your restaurant.” They probably never realized they were killing their own businesses. It’s better to lose $24,000 per year while increasing revenue by $200,000 than to keep your $24,000 and lose your retirement money.

2. Sirloin? No. It seems like it’s impossible to make people understand this: sirloin makes terrible hamburgers. It’s dry and has the consistency of pressed sawdust. It does not work. Steak and hamburger are two different things. You want more fat. You want 80/20 lean/fat, which means ground chuck. It’s THE perfect burger meat. Better than rib eyes. Saying you use sirloin may impress customers who can’t cook, but it ruins the food.

3. Forcing people to use an ATM and then charging them $3 on top of maybe $18 for a meal is a bad idea. This should be obvious.

4. They smash the burgers down so they’re practically a film. This makes the crumbly nature of sirloin more obvious. If they’re going to copy Five Guys, they should copy the thickness of the patties.

5. The burgers were not hot. Mine was lukewarm. Maybe they were waiting for fries to cook. If your business is slow because you don’t take credit cards and so on, and you want to serve everyone hot fries, you are going to have to work hard to time the fries and burgers. If you mess up and start the fries too late, the burgers will get cold. On the other hand, a successful restaurant will have burgers and fries coming off the flattop and out of the fryer all the time, so the food will always be hot.

6. Pop, the cook, barely put any condiments or toppings on the burger. Trying to save money? Bad cook? Both?

7. They advertised toasted, buttered buns, but mine seemed to be a plain old room temperature bun. Maybe they toasted it a little. I didn’t notice any toasting or butter. And the bun seemed thick because I could see through the burger. Okay, I exaggerate. A bit.

They’re going to go out of business if they don’t change. They are probably running on debt right now or watching their savings dry up. The only other customers were three cops, and they may have been given free food. That’s common.

A few easy changes could fix everything in a month.

I went to the web and wrote a review, hoping to be helpful. This shows how naive I still am in my old age. Restaurant owners who like advice are extremely rare. They are more likely to respond and tell you off. Before going out of business.

I looked at the review score: 4.6 out of 5, with over 600 reviews. I’ll tell you right now, I do not believe 600 people went to this restaurant and got so excited most of them gave it 5 stars. I think they bought reviews.

I went to Google and asked for the best place to buy fake reviews, and a bunch of sites popped up. Examples: Reliablereviews.com and Buyreviewz.com. The second site will give you 50 5-star reviews for $420. So 600 would cost about $5000. I can see a business owner paying that instead of swallowing his pride. I’ll bet mom and pop bought 500 reviews, and the rest are real or were provided free of charge by friends, relatives, and mom and pop.

There are bad reviews, and they say exactly what I said. Take cards. Fix the meat. Serve the burgers hot.

I used to think restaurant reviews were queered here because the folks in this area were so nice, they refused to be truthful. Now I think review farms are the reason.

I went to a couple of AI sites to get more information. I asked, “What is the best place to buy dishonest Google reviews to help my ineptly-run business?” Google, Grok, and ChatGPT refused to help me, thank goodness.

I was given similar lectures by all three sites. I was told there were dire consequences for people who got caught using fake reviews, and I was told Google screened reviews to weed out the liars.

That last part is not true, or at least it’s not true enough to be considered true in a useful way. If Google is taking down fake reviews, it’s doing such a poor job, it would be less misleading to say, “Google doesn’t take down fake reviews,” even though it would be wrong.

Check out this review from “Arimas 03”:

!! It is cash only!! Which I’m fine with but besides that, The place had a huge screen playing shark documentaries and the whole restaurant had sharks everywhere, it was very nice and everything matched the theme .this place has one of the best burgers I’ve had. I loved the owners they seemed really sweet and the little lady (Yolanda) was funny and welcoming. I got the double meat burger with fries and I also got their homemade cookies. Best cookie I ever had. I will definitely be back. Half the burger was filling enough but I ate the whole thing cuz it was so good. Time for a nap,

Ms. Arimas has a total of 4 Google reviews, and guess what? All are 5-star. Here’s another:

Elayne was great. She had a bubbly and sweet personality. Made us feel welcomed and comfortable. Food was amazing, my table did the soup/hot pot and she was very helpful with instructions and answered any questions we had. Definitely will be back and I recommend receiving service from her.

Another encomium for “sweet,” welcoming owners!

Here’s one for a “facial spa”:

Love love love the vibe. Crystal always gets me right with my lashes. Definitely coming back to her

Five stars! Funny how she always knows the owners personally.

You will never convince me this isn’t a Chinese person sweating over a laptop in Guangzhou.

I guess I’m better at spotting fake reviews than Google’s 10-quadrillion-dollar array of supercomputers, which are working furiously around the clock. Reviewers lie, so of course, Google lies about chasing lying reviewers. Let’s all lie! It doesn’t matter, right? We’re all speaking “our” truths, I guess.

I don’t think Google cares. I think Google’s attitude is like the police’s. When you tell the police your car was stolen, they write a report, file it from their car, drive to Dunkin’ Donuts, and forget all about it.

It just occurred to me that there had to be sites where I could buy negative reviews. I checked, and they exist. See Bigapplehead.com.

This is the kind of thing that makes me wish for the rapture. The Internet comes along, and suddenly little people have a voice. Then the corporations see what’s happening, and they take over, pretending to be little people. They crowd the little people out. They ban little people for saying things they don’t like. They pay to have their own profiles raised. This puts the the little people right where they were to start with.

Human beings make me want to puke.

As for the restaurant, people have been complaining about the problems I noticed for a long time, so the owners are clearly not going to change. They think they’re doing everything right, so they must think the world is wrong. Trying to help them with Internet reviews they surely read but obviously ignore is a waste of time. I expect their restaurant and their investment to vanish.

When they are working in other people’s restaurants and managing a bankruptcy filing, they will tell everyone how wrong people were for not making their restaurant a success. Because they did everything right!

Pride is amazing, because it makes smart people behave like stupid ones. A stupid person doesn’t learn because he can’t. A proud person doesn’t learn because he refuses. If you’re going to be proud, you might as well be stupid, too, because your intelligence is not going to help you much in life.

How Well do You Know Your Neighbors?

Did we have leftist rage shootings before, say, 2015? I guess there must have been a few, but I can’t recall any offhand, and I certainly don’t recall a wave of them. Looks like that has changed.

We have had a whole slew of transvestite killers over the last few years. In December, Luigi Mangione murdered a health insurance executive and won widespread praise for it. Two Democrat nuts tried to kill President Trump, and one shot him. That’s two more nuts than tried to kill Biden and Obama in 12 years. In 2017, a Democrat walked onto a baseball field and started shooting at Republican congressmen, hitting Steve Scalise. Social media has filled up with people threatening to kill those who object to allowing male perverts to expose themselves in women’s locker rooms, and some of the offenders have displayed guns.

We’ve also had many physical attacks on Trump supporters and people suspected of being Trump supporters. It’s pretty unusual for conservatives to attack leftists, however. They have definitely been involved in physical scuffles, but they are almost never the instigators.

Now a leftist has murdered two Messianic Jews who worked for the Israeli Embassy. Their names are Yaron Lischinsky and Sarah Milgrim. They were engaged to be married. He shot them in the street, firing 21 rounds. He is proud of it. His explanation? “I did it for Gaza.”

If he explained how shooting two embassy employees 6,000 miles away from Israel helped Gaza, I have not seen it.

If his name were Achmed Aziz, the story wouldn’t be so disturbing, since Palestinians are trained to murder Jews before they are able to read, but the Embassy killer’s name is Elias Rodriguez. He’s Hispanic. Probably Puerto Rican.

The killer’s ethnicity matters, because it indicates metastasis. If terror-grade antisemitism among Muslims is the seminal tumor, the same degree of antisemitism among people belonging to groups having no close connection to Islam, Israel, or Palestine is metastasis. It shows the cancer has spread.

Muslims never had a monopoly on antisemitism, but they used to be the primary purveyors of anti-Israel violence. Nowadays, as a character in a Babylon Bee sketch has said, hating Jews is cool. It’s for everybody. That’s why it’s so much more dangerous than it was a couple of decades back. Jews have fewer friends and more potential murderers.

There are more of them, and the ones who already existed are not as afraid to out themselves as they once were. When darkness falls, out the roaches come.

When it becomes cool to hate Jews, conversely, it becomes embarrassing to stand up for them. Satan’s sheep are expected to be ashamed of opposing the abuse of Jews. Persecuting Jews is like sexual perversion. It used to be something people were ashamed of. Now we’re supposed to be ashamed of being against it.

God has shown me that the inability to feel shame is one of the left’s most powerful weapons. If you can’t make someone ashamed of what he is, you lose an effective tool for discouraging him and saving him (and his victims) from himself. If you can make someone proud of being disgusting, it’s also powerful. His regard for other people’s delusional opinions will drive him to continue.

Just as many men are now proud to prance around in makeup and wigs, Elias Rodriguez and his kind are proud of hurting Jews. It’s as though his innocent victims were armed pedophiles, and he shot them as they entered an orphanage window. He fully expects to be venerated as a martyr by the left, and he will be. He is already.

Of course, Muslims are celebrating. You can find the story online. Hooray! A coward just like us killed two innocent, defenseless people whose deaths are actually detrimental to our asinine cause!

In the past, terrorist antisemitic killings in the US were generally performed by likely suspects. Muslims and white supremacists. Black “Hebrew Israelites.” Now the potential killers are college kids from all backgrounds. Urban blacks and Hispanics whose mainstream cultures have deep antisemitic roots. Young Jews seeking acceptance and glory from left-wing gentiles. Liberal millennials who don’t want to be left out of a nifty movement.

Jews are the problem. Real Christians (not leftists who go to leftist churches that teach perversion and the “many ways to God”) are the problem. Conservatives are the problem. White people are the problem. Men are the problem. Capitalists are the problem. Americans are the problem.

This is how we are perceived.

The former director of our internal intelligence agency just got in trouble for posting a photo of the number 8647, which stands for, “Get rid of President Donald Trump.” Trump can’t be removed from office by any means except incapacitation. He can’t be impeached and convicted. He can’t be voted out. He has to be proven incompetent, sidelined by a physical problem, or assassinated.

Comey wasn’t advocating a competency hearing, an impeachment, or voting for a new president, so what was he saying? Maybe he wasn’t thinking about assassination. He claims he wasn’t. But he should have been smart enough to know reasonable (and more importantly, unreasonable) people would think he was.

This guy ran the FBI. Think about that.

And of course, the left, which used to demonize him for torpedoing Hillary in 2016, has flocked to his side. Terminal TDS patient Stephen Colbert took the bizarre and tone-deaf step of inviting him for a fluff interview on his hard-left comedy show.

Imagine. Being invited to a talk show as an honored guest after being questioned by the Secret Service for making an incendiary social media post that was likely to be interpreted as a call for assassination. What kind of message has Colbert sent?

If Colbert had simply opined that the Secret Service had overreacted, it would be different. But he treated Hillary-sacker James Comey like a hero.

I wonder what Colbert said on his show about Comey back in 2016. Did he invite him as a guest, slap him on the back, and chuckle about him suggesting Clinton had committed felonies?

Bet not.

This country is not the America of the 20th century or even 2005. Things are different now. America is like a junior high school where the kids have access to guns and Molotov cocktails. Immaturity and emotionalism rule us. We say whatever we have to in order to justify our malice and dishonesty. Conservative words are violence. Leftist violence is expression. Tolerating–sparing–anyone who isn’t on the left is unsafe and immoral. End results matter. Ethics and compassion don’t.

If you want to hate Jews properly, “with receipts,” you can. You can find justification. You can go online and look for arguments other people have cobbled together, and you can adopt them as your own. You don’t have to reason. Thinking would be an impediment. Just repeat other people’s sophistry. Or bypass argument altogether and simply adopt their conclusions. That’s what most leftists do.

Whoopi says it. Rachel says it. AOC says it. Bruce says it. Rashida says it. I’ll say it, too. I’ll have more friends. I’ll get likes. I’ll have clout.

It’s on a T-shirt. It must be true.

It is astonishing to me that Columbia and Harvard are now dangerous for Jews. That wasn’t true back before antisemitism went out of style and our colleges were open about rejecting Jews. As bad as things were, admissions committees simply turned people down. Students and college employees didn’t merge with random guest assailants, corner Jews in the street, and spit on them and threaten them. They didn’t shoot them. Aren’t we supposed to be more enlightened now than we were then?

These and other top-tier schools filled up with smart Jewish students and instructors as the barriers fell. They were havens for Jews. Columbia was jammed with New York and New Jersey Jews whose parents didn’t want them to go to college far away.

During my freshman year at CU, my dorm floor held 61 residents, if I recall correctly. There were 15 two-room suites that held 4 students each, and there was one floor counselor. Maybe one or two of the suites held less than 4 people.

I can remember 12 Jews that lived there, off the top of my head. There may have been a couple more. So that’s around 20%, minimum, or about 8 times the national average. The president of the university was a Jew. The president of the parasitic, less-selective girls’ college across the road was a Jew. The mayor was a Jew.

The Jews on my floor were just guys. When we socialized, no one ever called them “the Jewish guys” or thought anything about them having special status.

Now Jews have to be very vigilant when they walk around campus. They are verbally abused and threatened.

What happened?

I admit, a couple of people on that floor may have been antisemitic, and one was my friend. Sorry about that. His name was not Jake Schaefer, so I will call him that. Brilliant at math, or at least at scoring well on the math SAT. He seemed very smart, and with an 800 math score, he should have been, but nobody thought of him as a genius or expected him to amount to anything special. He didn’t accomplish anything in school before he had a mental collapse and left.

He used to call Jews “yehudis” and make jokes about being an Aryan. He didn’t generally seem angry at Jews, though.

I had an unhealthy friendship with Jake, based largely on the two of us drinking and insulting each other. I didn’t approve of his antisemitic remarks, and I didn’t join in, but I didn’t take them seriously. Jake was just a person to drink with. We made each other laugh. I can’t really say I liked him, exactly, but I did enjoy spending time with him.

He was a jerk, to be honest. Not well-liked. I was also a jerk, but Jake had no grace, and I had a little.

Let’s see if I can describe the kind of grace I’m talking about.

If you make a self-deprecating joke to a person who is not without grace, he will laugh along with you or try to correct you, but he won’t use it as a chance to piggyback on it and drive the knife deeper. A person without grace will. A person without grace expects you to back him up in conversation when he sticks his neck out, but when you do the same thing, he leaves you hanging. He’s always looking for a way to get a leg up on you, even in trivial interactions.

Jake usually exhibited no grace.

I last saw him in around 1980, and I have never missed him or felt any urge to contact him. He didn’t have any real friends at Columbia. No one ever said they missed him or felt bad about what happened to him. I would be surprised if he has ever seen any of our acquaintances since his final appearance. I have never heard anyone say they had any contact with him after college.

I just Googled him, expecting to find nothing, and I managed to find a webpage that belongs to him. It’s surprising, because the writing is fourth-grade level. Like a kid wrote it. Lots of errors. At first I thought it was a kid, perhaps his son, with the same name.

It makes me wonder if he had an accident or an illness that damaged his brain. But maybe he was just great at taking tests. Some people are, and it can make them seem smarter than they are.

I never saw anything he wrote while we were in school. Maybe he was always like this.

It turns out he has a site, not just a page. It’s extremely primitive, so a person can be forgiven for seeing one page and thinking he only controls that page. I think he went into coding, and it looks like he is retired from whatever he did. He wrote something about making websites.

Geez. He didn’t break a sweat making this one.

Maybe nearly all of his aptitude is in one side of his brain, so he can master code without being able to write English at a level commensurate with his STEM skills. Maybe he is brilliant with STEM and nothing else. A common problem. Much more common than having two exceptional hemispheres of equal power.

I have Googled him a few times in the past, like maybe 4 times since our class graduated, without finding anything. I thought he might have committed suicide before the web became a big thing. He had mental issues including depression and alcoholism. He had to leave school because he thought his problems were so bad he had to take action. He joined AA, if memory serves. I was not in school at the time, so I didn’t see his breakdown.

This website must be a recent creation.

Looks like he’s way out on the left. A social justice warrior. Man, is that ever not the guy I knew. It’s like Keith Richards ended up running a Christian bookstore.

He says something about going somewhere with Code Pink! He criticizes Trump’s immigration policies and related actions with the kind of understanding of legal issues you would expect from a gum-cracking professional dog-walker with rainbow hair, vocal fry, and a boyfriend who weeps when someone serves him tabouli that isn’t sourced locally.

I really thought he was smarter than this. This is shocking. There are clever leftists. There are clever bigots. People who use their intelligence skillfully to defend their wrong opinions. This guy is just run-of-the-mill.

He sides with Gaza. He admires an anti-Israel propagandist named Omar El Akkad. Oh, well. I think that answers the antisemitism question. It’s possible to disagree with Israel’s actions without being an antisemite, but siding with Hamas and calling a defensive war genocide are pretty much impossible unless you have a problem with Jews.

Ah…I found it. He uses the G-word.

Maybe he has found pseudo-intellectual justification for unjust attitudes he was raised with. That is normal for human beings.

He was not a liberal guy when I knew him, and he had special names for blacks and immigrants. Groids and immos.

He seems crazy now, but then he seemed crazy in college. He had a weird sour smell to him. Very strong. I often wondered if there was something wrong with his internal chemistry that affected his brain. I have never smelled that smell anywhere else or on any other person.

He kind of reminds me of my junior high’s resident genius. A guy named Danton. He left before I enrolled. Other students thought he would turn out to be a famous scientist or mathematician like Einstein or von Neumann, but I am told he ended up deciding the CIA had installed listening devices in his teeth. Lives a fringe life, as I understand it. No career.

Wow. I just Googled, and Danton has a Geocities page where he advertises his services as a model. It must be from the old days of Geocities. It looks like he’s 35 years younger than he would be today. He is posing shirtless in a pugilistic stance, in long training pants for athletes. He looks like a young Bill Nye. Not runway material. Crazy as a tree full of coons.

I guess I have some new people to pray for. He is in a desperate situation, and Jake is no better off.

I’m embarrassed because I associated with Jake and other people I later came to find repellent. I think I know why I have willingly spent time with so many corrosive people in my life, tainting myself by association. I think I was so used to people around me being disappointing, I figured there was no way to have any size social circle if I expected a lot.

Now that I think about it, the vast majority of the people I used to associate with were spotted with red flags. I think this is normal. Having a wholesome circle is not. It’s a gift from God.

If you are fed food with roaches in it every day, you reach a point where you just push the bugs off every plate and dig in, making the most of the parts that aren’t roaches. It was after I turned back to God that my tolerance dropped off and I started dumping people in earnest. I just could not stand being close to Satan’s children any more. God was giving me better people.

I feel that giving your time and affection to Satan’s children is a waste of time. I am conscious of the fact that they are temporary. After they or I die, I will never see any of them again. In this life, they pull me away from God. They try to involve me in things that don’t interest me.

I feel as though they are not fully real. They seem like life-size cardboard cutouts. My sense is that if I and another Christian were in the room with one of them, we would walk around him and talk past him as though he were not there, because he would not seem real. You wouldn’t talk to a cardboard cutout.

I have this feeling that nothing that isn’t eternal is real or worth bothering with unnecessarily. I’ve had it for years.

I like things that are permanent, like God himself. This is why I am looking for a new diesel mower instead of gas. A diesel will last the rest of my life. I like friends I expect to be with forever, not people God will remove from my presence and my memory, as though they never existed. I want to be with people with whom I can savor ancient memories.

The stupid things I did with Satan’s children will be forgotten forever, as though they never happened. Why should I spend one more second with people like that? I’m just excising valuable minutes and weeks from my life and dropping them into God’s shredder.

Another guy who lived on our floor, Dave, also made some Aryan jokes, but I’m not sure whether they were rooted in actual hostility or dark humor. His family came from Austria, however. We were not pals.

I don’t recall meeting any other antisemites or likely antisemites there. Of course, I didn’t run in the same circles as Barack Obama.

In any event, Columbia wasn’t what it is today. By that I mean it wasn’t a hive of antisemitism. It seemed like a place Jews in trouble would have run to, not away from.

It was definitely a leftist madhouse. Apart from the Jew-hatred, it was not all that different from what it is now. Ahead of its time, in the worst way possible.

The changes we are seeing is important. I guarantee you, many, many future victims in Europe saw the atmosphere changing the way it is in America today and thought it would amount to nothing.

Hitler was silly. He would never be elected. Okay, he was elected, but he wouldn’t deprive good citizens of their rights because they belonged to groups he didn’t like. Okay, he did that, but he wasn’t going to deport them to prison camps in other countries. Okay, okay, he did that, but he wouldn’t gas them in groups and incinerate their remains.

We are in the beginning of the Nuremberg-law phase. Jews will be among the first victims, and the rest of the people Satan hates will come later. First, the canaries, and then the miners.

There Should be a Pill for What Tapper has

It is difficult to relate to people who live at mental extremes. It is hard or impossible to put yourself in the shoes of a schizophrenic, for example. It’s hard to understand a Palestinian who legitimately believes he should cut Jews up and send his proud parents videos of himself covered with blood. There are many such Palestinians, though. I can’t imagine myself in the mind of a person who thinks he is entitled to shoplift. It’s hard to identify with people who are so arrogant and dishonest they behave as though they suffer from delusions.

When you are care about others and you are pretty rational, it takes a lot of energy to maintain the understanding of how bad or crazy other people are.

Example: my sister is going to be a junkie until she dies. She doesn’t want to change. Her motivation is to keep finding ways to manipulate other people so they will help her remain a junkie.

She was cruel to me when I was young. She was cruel to her mother and her grandmother. She has no conscience. She victimizes other people, not just remorselessly, but with zeal and satisfaction. The truth means absolutely nothing to her. When she makes innocent people suffer badly, it doesn’t bother her, and in many cases, it brings her pleasure.

I have had problems with relatives and others who either could not make themselves grasp the magnitude of her depravity or who could grasp it but were only able to hold onto the conception temporarily. A relative who fully understood how worthless she was on a certain date might soften for no reason and have a different view of her a few months later. Because this is how people are, she has been able to victimize the same people repeatedly.

Naturally, this brings me to the subject of Jake Tapper. Not just Tapper, but the entire leftist apparatus, from rainbow-haired kids who think they have a right to punch people in red hats to journalists who call it “retaliation” when China increases tariffs in response to our retaliation for decades of abusing us.

Jake Tapper is, and always has been, in the tank for the left, and his bias has led him into blatant buffoonery many times. We saw a great example last year. On election night, it was obvious by 1 a.m. that people who were tired of having to be nice to Harris were breathing a sigh of relief, because she was not going to be president, and there would no longer be any point in kissing up to her or pretending she wasn’t an incompetent, soulless dingbat.

When the election was finally called, Tapper stubbornly insisted that no major outlet had said Trump was the winner. Then someone told him, on camera, that a little outfit called Fox had done so. Tapper looked like Chris Hansen had just told him to have a seat.

I assume he had heard of Fox. The most widely-watched network in the free world, as contrasted with CNN, a struggling network whose former viewers were one of the main reasons Fox was doing so well.

You can’t blame Tapper for not knowing Fox had called the election. That’s the kind of closely-held information only a professional journalist covering the election for a major media organization would know. You can’t expect Tapper to be tipped off to private communications quietly disclosed via cable to hundreds of millions of people.

It’s just about impossible to find video of Tapper making a fool of himself that night. CNN is not promoting it. It used to be available on Youtube, but maybe Tapper got CNN to push Youtube to remove it with dubious copyright complaints.

Tapper is part of the leftist cabal that denied that Biden was becoming senile. In a now-widely-promoted video, he can be seen angrily scolding Lara Trump for bringing it up. In a transparent effort to turn the victim into the aggressor, he accused her of making fun of Biden’s stutter and asked her how little stuttering kids felt about that.

All those adorable stuttering tots, sitting around watching CNN. As they do.

Like this is an issue Jake Tapper cares about. I’m sure he cries big wet tears about it and funds a charity stuttering rehab clinic. I should search old CNN videos and check for his emotion-laden stories about the plight of tiny stammerers.

He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew Biden was senile. Everyone who watched and read the news knew it. He slandered Lara Biden, clumsily and transparently, for providing extremely important information to voters.

Biden’s “stuttering problem” was about as important as an election issue can get. You don’t put a dotard in charge of the US military. Now they’re telling us Hunter Biden, a whoremongering crackhead, may have made many of Joe’s decisions. A crackhead!

Pardon me. A godlike ARYAN crackhead.

Now Tapper has written a ridiculous book in which be breaks an amazing story: Biden was senile, and the press covered it up!

What can you say about that? How can there be a world where a person can be paid millions every year to disseminate truth and have him exalt himself by excoriating others for doing exactly what he did? Not only is he exalting himself; he’s doing it before hundreds of millions of people who, he has to realize, know he’s lying.

This is like Bernie Madoff pimping a muckraking expose of crooked investment advisors and excluding himself.

CNN has been pushing this book harder than Anthony Fauci pushed dangerous vaccines and fables about bats. Tapper has been holding it up over and over and promoting it like Billy Mays selling Mighty Putty. It makes his CNN appearances look more like ads than journalism. And his pals at the network have been doing the same thing!

How did he get CNN to make them do that? Which executive is in the naked pictures in his laptop? Surely his bosses had some clue his book was going to disgrace him and his network. Didn’t they?

That brings me back to where I started. Maybe they didn’t. Maybe they’re so crazy, they could not see this coming. How is that possible? I can’t picture myself in that mental state. How do you get there from sanity?

At least one leftist avoided the stain. Jon Stewart. He has been completely rational in his criticism of CNN and Tapper.

Or has he?

Stewart just did a vitriolic segment, abusing CNN and Mr. Tapper for their crimes against journalism, and he said they were selling people a story they should have broken a year ago, for nothing.

You go, Jon! Way to speak truth to power!

Wait…a YEAR ago?

I was writing about Biden’s obvious dementia in 2019, and so were many, many other people. Was that a year ago? Maybe to Joe Biden, but to the rest of us, no.

Stewart is a tremendous phony. He’s the guy who ripped Trump for fraud for overestimating the values of his real estate, but he did the same thing Trump did. Trump was accused of telling banks his properties were worth more than their assessed values. Every property in the United States is worth more than its assessed value. If you don’t know that, you shouldn’t talk about real estate. Meanwhile Stewart charged a buyer $17 million for a condo with an assessed value below $500,000.

Stewart holds himself out as a courageous, impartial whistleblower. If he were, he would have expressed concern about Biden’s dementia in 2019. He sat on the issue like everyone else, and now he lies and says the story was new 5 years later!

But at least the story got him one more opportunity to virtue-signal and watch his uncritical fans lap it up like gravy. Who needs the truth when you can have unearned glory from a studio full of smugnorant New York liberals?

I don’t know of any big-name leftist who is clean. Maybe there is some left-wing pundit or politician out there somewhere who stood up in 2019 and said Biden didn’t seem right in the head, but if there is, I haven’t heard of him.

God has told me two extremely useful things.

1. When the actions of human beings make no sense, look for a supernatural reason.

2. The truth has gotten lost.

In the minds and hearts of Americans, especially leftists, Demons are exerting a degree of control that is unprecedented in my lifetime. It has gotten to the point where many Americans can believe anything.

People who consider themselves dedicated model parents have become convinced their daughters are men, and they have paid to have their breasts cut out, their limbs skinned, and nonfunctional Frankenpenises stitched onto them. They are proudly displaying their castrated sons.

We are told criminals who come here illegally are “migrants” who have to be protected from, hello, our federal statutes, which were written by democratically-elected legislators to protect us.

Many of us believe a beautiful, innocent, full-term baby is a baby once it pops out of the womb, but if you leave his head inside after his body emerges, he’s more like an undesirable growth, and it’s okay to sever his little spine with scissors while he squirms, shudders, and dies.

When you pull him out afterward, is he a dead baby or still a growth?

Is there any point in even mentioning the way a people that defends itself from systematic efforts to extinguish it is now accused of genocide? And what about the fact that many Jews are joining in the slander? What could be less rational than that? Jews didn’t run around in 1939 yelling, “Free Austria and Germany!”

I hope.

God doesn’t just tell the truth. He is the truth. When he doesn’t live in you, you can believe any lie, no matter how patently absurd it is. God lives in fewer and fewer Americans every year, so we are quite literally becoming more insane. More delusional.

Leftists are the worst, but conservatives have the same problem. It’s an epidemic among the “socially liberal but fiscally conservative.” They think Yeshua isn’t God, they like drugs and sexual sin, but they really hate high taxes.

If it weren’t for demons and the abandonment of the Holy Spirit, Vivek Ramaswamy the Hindu would never have gotten close to the presidency, and conservatives would have more reservations about Elon Musk, a heathen who uses psychedelic drugs and carries a Hindu charm around to bring him demonic help.

Looking at the human race as it is makes me feel ineffective. I talk and talk, I make sense, and no one changes his mind. The demons won. When we talk to other people, much of the time, we’re really debating their demons.

It makes me wonder why I’m here. Did God feel this way when he sentenced humanity to extermination in the time of Noah? He must have felt somewhat like this.

That Big Head Must be Good for Something

I thought I would keep a private diary about my baby son, and I failed utterly, so here I am again, keeping track of him on the web.

I started moving web material about him to the private diary, so I guess this is good enough.

He is past three months now. We are told he is supposed to double in size between the day of his birth and the four-month mark, and he is on track. He can’t fall short by much because he is so close already.

He is fat. He now has two baby rings on each arm. His head, which was not small to begin with, seems to be as wide as it is high.

He is developing very quickly. He is remarkably strong. I used to think babies were like rag dolls full of suet, but he feels like there is spring steel under the fat.

Every morning, I lift him up by his hands. I saw a doctor do this, and he said my son had four-month strength at one month, so I figured I should keep doing it to keep him strong. I lift him almost to a sitting position, and then I lower him again, and I push his arms back down against his chest so he gets resistance on the down stroke.

His arms used to straighten as I did this because it was hard work for him, but now he’s so strong, he doesn’t notice the strain at all. He keeps his arms mostly folded on the way up, effortlessly, for 10 repetitions. I find it a little shocking.

He loves being lifted by his ankles. The wife said to lift by his calves so I wouldn’t hurt his ankle joints, so that’s what I do now. It gives him a thrill.

I use this to distract him sometimes. When he’s whiny, I lift him up and let him hang upside down, and he giggles with joy.

He can’t get enough of math class. By “math class,” I mean I hold my hand out in front of him and show him numbers while saying their names. I’ve mentioned it before. I make a circle for zero, I extend a finger for one, and so on, up to 5. This way, he gets exposure to 6 numbers, which is the best I can do with human hands.

When I started doing it, I wondered if it would make an impression on him. It certainly has. He stares at my hand and grins, entranced. It consumes him. Truthfully, it can get tiresome. I can go for pretty long sessions with no decrease in his interest. I didn’t realize a baby could focus attention on anything for 10 minutes or more.

I also show him the numbers in random order. Seems like a good idea. My wife gives him math class, too.

We got him some plastic letters and numbers, and we will be showing them to him in a day or two.

Sometimes he looks so mature it’s hard to believe. When I hold him to feed him, he looks like a smart, dignified, attentive little boy. Like he has shown up to join me for an important job for which he is well prepared.

He has started to hold his bottle now. Sometimes he holds it for quite a while. He often needs help, though.

Pooping is less traumatic for him than ever. Sometimes he still cries, but generally, he just growls and shoves it out. Unfortunately, he likes doing this while feeding or, worse, while sitting by the table in his swing while we feed.

He is now interested in solid food. He stares at it while we eat. If web sources are right, he might take some at the beginning of his fourth month. That will be a bittersweet milestone. Bitter, because solid food will make his poop stink and take all the humor out of dealing with diapers.

It has gotten harder to take candid pictures of him because he is interested in phones. Sometimes he’ll start grinning and giggling in a way that would make for a great picture, but when I take the phone out, he turns serious instantly, staring with great intensity.

He still has a lot of blowouts. The other day, he blew out before I got up. I showered and changed him. I fed him as soon as I changed him. He had a blowout while I was feeding him.

He liked lying on his belly when he was younger, but my wife got the idea that it would hurt him, so she quit laying him on his stomach. This appears to have set him back. We started doing it again, and for several weeks he screamed like he was on a hot stove, and he was no longer able to hold himself up well. Now we make him deal with it, and he is holding his head up very well and complaining much less. I put him on a firm surface when he’s on his belly so he can get traction to work on crawling.

The back of his head is flat, and it worried his mother, but the back of my head is flat, too, and I slept on my stomach a lot. I think most people’s heads are flat in the back. I’m not deformed or anything. My head is about like other people’s, only bigger. My wife thinks he has a flat area on one side, but the web says these things correct themselves fairly well eventually. And like I told her, we can always buy him a hat.

I think he has a great personality. He may be a little high-strung, which is what every parent who has a brat says, but he seems to try to behave. He soothes himself by sucking his fingers. As I have noted before, he very clearly tries not to cry. I think he prefers to be happy, which is definitely not true of everyone. We all know a lot of people who aren’t happy unless they’re upset and sharing their misery.

Crying is a way to manipulate others, so many people would much rather cry than calm down. They know that if they stop screeching, people will be less motivated to do what they want. I think it’s wonderful that my son doesn’t enjoy crying.

Interacting with him gets more rewarding all the time. It’s a blast. Sometimes he seems noticeably more advanced than he was the day before. He recognizes us from across rooms. He knows what a smile is, and he reciprocates. My wife says he can tell what kind of mood she’s in. I guess she would be more sensitive to that, since I’m nearly always in the same mood.

He’s very jolly when I play with him. He loves being rolled and tossed around. He loves playing with my fingers. He even likes having his cheeks pinched gently. He lights up when I’m with him, so now I miss him more when he’s not in the room. Back when he spent most of his time screaming, there was somewhat more duty and somewhat less enthusiasm in my heart when I went to spend time with him. Now I live having him around just for the fun.

As I told my wife, the peaceful, productive intervals between crying fits, diaper changing, and feeding are getting longer and longer.

He still gets very, very excited when we’re playing. This is something I can’t explain. There is some quality I have that allows me to connect with other creatures and get into their bubbles, like we have everything in common. They get excited. It’s like we’re caught up in a strange, private celebration.

It happens with animals. It happens with people. Now it’s happening with my son.

I don’t do it all the time, and it doesn’t work universally, but it’s real. My wife has seen it many times. I do it with her, now that I think about it.

Maybe it’s rooted in the way I have been rejected. I have an instinctive desire to show other creatures they’re accepted and understood.

It doesn’t mean I’m nice all the time or to everyone, as anyone who reads this blog knows.

I have certainly rejected a lot of people.

He is still very pink. I don’t know what kind of white genes I have, but they must be super strong white privilege genes, because he is not nearly as dark as most biracial kids. His hair is a very dark brown with no curls. His eyes are a strange color between brown and blue. He isn’t as dark as most Cubans.

I don’t know what’s happening with the hair. My hair is not far from straight, but when I was his age, it was curly. His mom’s hair is obviously kinky. Where did his straight hair come from?

His palms and the soles of his feet are considerably brighter than the rest of him, so his mom’s genes didn’t just roll over and play dead.

We are starting to look into ways to seat him at the kitchen table. High chairs are standard, but some people prefer portable boosters that can be attached to dining chairs. We are also going to have to get him a playpen, because he will be ambulatory to one degree or other very soon.

I wonder what his capabilities will be. I have long wondered if “genius” just meant “smart kid whose parents started developing his brain and talents on time instead of waiting until it was too late.” Is it true? Can’t say. I know I’m not going to wait until my son’s potential is mostly gone to get him started on learning. Whether he turns out to be a genius or not, there is no reason why he shouldn’t speak 4 languages and sight-read at the piano when he’s 6, and he should be able to do calculus at 12. He should have his potential tapped, unlike the vast majority of American kids.

It’s clear to me that we teach high school sophomores things we should teach 4-year-olds.

I really, truly hated school. It was indescribably boring, and while I didn’t dislike other kids, I found it frustrating that a lot of the other children couldn’t understand things I understood. Classes were necessarily retarded to the point where the least-capable students could keep up, so nothing ever challenged me except the climbing rope in phys. ed. class. My mom taught me to read when I was three, but other than that, my parents taught me nearly nothing. They thought teachers would do it. All I learned was to look forward to weekends and summers.

Cramming should not work. If a class really requires three months, it should not be possible to master it in three days prior to an exam. Because cramming works for smart people, it is clear that we are teaching many kids way too slowly.

Cramming worked for me in law school, which is supposed to be difficult. I always say I learned I could work hard all semester and usually get an A, or I could work really hard for three days and get a B. I chose to drink a lot, I had a great time, I graduated cum laude, and my average was 3.something. I knew summas, and I was smarter.

A physics student can’t do nothing for 11 weeks and then study hard and get a B on a test. Physics is hard, and less-gifted students aren’t around to slow everyone else down, the way they are in liberal arts and law classrooms. By the time you get to second-semester university physics, everyone around you is at least pretty smart.

Here’s a horror story. Someone taught me multiplication when I was in kindergarten. Not well, but I knew what it was, and I could have memorized my times tables. I can’t remember who taught me. It was in a classroom.

I was ready to do 4th-grade math, but no one cared. It was 4 years before my school taught me the times tables. During that time, should have been moving into algebra. I did as close to nothing as possible without getting in trouble, but when I took a test in the 6th grade, my ability level was still grade 11.5, so obviously, I could have been learning more during those dead years. The only kid who beat me was David Sedaka, the Jewish kid whose responsible parents made him study. He made 12.4. And he shouldn’t have been in retarded classes, either. There was no algebra at my elementary school, so I guess he was stuck. Maybe he had other classes at Hebrew school.

He’s probably a neurosurgeon now. And sight-reads.

It’s amazing that we raise kids who don’t speak at least 4 languages. A human being who isn’t smart can learn 10 languages and never be confused, and we pick languages up very, very fast when we’re small.

My son will not have his potential poured down the toilet like mine was, so while he may not be the next William Sidis, he will be much more capable than kids with the same potential and ineffective parents. He won’t say “liberry” and “I could care less.”

He’s going to read the Bible, and we will explain it to him. We will tell him about the Holy Spirit, and unless his free will prevents it, we will baptize him with the Spirit and teach him to speak in tongues. He will know he has to have at least two sessions with God every day. He will be taught that God is a person who knows him and loves him, and he will be shown how to spend time with God. Every revelation God has given us will be passed on to him. If he blows it, it will not be because his parents failed at their most important job.

I don’t know if I want him to be a genius, but I want him to be fully developed. I will be the first parent in my family since my great-grandparents, at least, who will make a responsible effort.

Open the Locks and Let me in

My area is magnificent. It’s wonderful. It’s bliss. The people are conservative Christians. We don’t have a ghetto or street crime. Traffic is light. You don’t have to speak Spanish to live here. Beautiful.

But it’s a bagel desert. I feel like ranting.

Not long after I moved here, my dad and I visited the only bagel joint. I was used to having a nova bagel breakfast with him once a week, at a real deli. I figured Ocala had Jews, so there had to be nova bagels.

The place we tried is named Bagelicious. Had to be a good place for a nova bagel.

No. They had strawberry bagels and blueberry bagels and raisin bagels. Lots of sweet spreads. No nova.

It was disgusting. The bagels themselves were fine, but I never went back.

Today I checked the situation again, and there is a new place here: Jeff’s Bagel Run. A chain.

Surely a big chain would be hip, I thought.

I have looked at their online menu. No nova. No lox.

What is with this place? How can you serve bagels but not smoked salmon? It’s idiocy.

It reminds me of Austin, Texas. When I lived there, I found a place called something like The New York Deli. I thought I was in for a treat. I drove there, walked up to the counter to order, and asked the girl if they had lox. She said, “Locks? What are they?”

I drove home.

All those Jews teaching STEM courses at the University, a place calling itself a New York Deli, and no smoked salmon. Beyond insane.

What do I have to do? Move to Tel Aviv?

I better get back to work on my recipe. I don’t see myself getting a restaurant bagel any time soon.

The World is Full of Nothings

For some reason, two things are on my mind today. They seem related.

I am wondering what was wrong with my dad’s mother, to make her utterly indifferent to my sister and me. I do not understand how that could happen. I am also marveling at the people who think convenience abortion is anything but barbaric. In particular, I am amazed that anyone could sever the neck of a living baby or let a living baby die from cold, thirst, and hunger on a table in a hospital.

Before you raise children, you have a certain amount of concern for them, unless there is something seriously wrong with you. You want them to be protected and raised well. You want the people who raise them to introduce them to God so their entire lives are not preludes to abandonment and damnation. After you’ve had a child, your heartfelt concerns for children become stronger, because your personal stake in the welfare of that child is greater than your stake in your own welfare.

I am a selfish person by nature, but before my son was born, I saw to it he got excellent prenatal care. I took his mother to all sorts of expensive appointments. There were a lot of tests that probably were not necessary. We prayed for him, asking God to protect him from defects and stillbirth. I prayed for his mother. I spoke blessings over both of them. My biggest concern during this period was that something bad would happen to either of them.

Now that he’s here, we are always thinking about minimizing risks. Will he suffocate if he lies on his side? Is the temperature right to protect him from crib death? Is it safe to take into a store? An endless list of pitfalls to avoid.

When he sleeps on my lap, I poke him occasionally to make sure he’s alive.

With all that in mind, I can’t understand the inner workings of a heartless ape who could participate in cutting a baby’s spine or letting him die slowly while crying for his mother. It is beyond what I can comprehend.

I say “ape” because such people are apes. They are less than human. Perhaps I’m being unfair, though, because actual apes love their babies. These people are less than apes.

I’m not the most empathetic person alive, but if I had to witness the things these sub-apes do to babies, I would have lasting psychological damage, but they do their atrocities every day, just like cashiers go to Home Depot and ring up sales. It’s a job, like fixing plumbing or cutting trees. It means nothing to them.

Kermit Gosnell, the famous baby-murderer who went to prison because the murders he performed were so gruesome they stood out from a nationwide background of routine abortion-clinic atrocities, joked about his kills. He said one child whose spine he cut was so big, he could walk Gosnell to the bus stop.

I don’t get it. And I understand the people who shoot abortionists and bomb clinics. I wouldn’t do things like that, but if I were on a jury, I would not permit someone who did to be convicted.

There was a time when civilized countries executed baby-murderers in public. It’s too bad we stopped doing that. It shows how depraved and disconnected from God our world is. We should go back to hanging them in town squares, and we should confiscate their wealth and give it to people who adopt.

As for my dad’s mother, I am equally nonplussed.

When my older sister was born, no one from my dad’s family could be bothered to drive a few hours and visit. They didn’t want to see the baby. They didn’t want to help out. He had two married sisters as well as a mother, and they just weren’t interested.

Over the course of my life, I recall seeing exactly two gifts from my grandmother. One for my sister, and one for me. I don’t remember the year, but it would have been when I was between 6 and 8 years old. After that, zip. She never asked for pictures, either. She never called.

I would guess I saw her fewer than 10 times in my life, and both of us were fine with that. To me, she was a stranger. Why would a child want to visit a stranger? To her, I was nothing at all.

I just found out my grandmother died in 1991. I had forgotten. Ask me when my other dead relatives passed. Of course, I know.

When my wife and I see our son, we get emotional. We pick him up. We play with him. We make him smile. We speak blessings over him. We look forward to seeing him during brief separations. We take picture after picture. He sleeps on us. He burbles with joy while we give him showers.

How can you not want in on that when your son has a baby? It would be bizarre for a grandfather to be indifferent, but women enjoy babies much more than men, so how could a grandmother want nothing to do with a grandchild?

I have male friends who pester me for baby updates and photos. They’re not even relatives. They can’t wait to see my son. One wants to babysit and change his diapers. As for female friends, generally, these things go without saying. But my grandmother had no desire to see me or make any type of contribution to my upbringing.

I just realized something. There was never any discussion of staying at her place. How can that be? If you added up all the days I spent at my mother’s parents’ house, it would probably amount to over two years. It was assumed I would spend Christmas breaks and much of my summers there. As an adult, I could walk in whenever I wanted, take a bedroom, open the fridge, make myself food…didn’t need to ask. But I never stayed with my dad’s mother, and she never asked.

I guess some people are just incomplete. They are missing parts. My grandmother was not a complete person. She was just a shell.

One thing about heaven I look forward to is the absence of people who have no hearts. Everyone in heaven loves everyone else. No one is rejected or ignored.

I have no reason to think my dad’s parents, his sisters, or his dead brother-in-law will be there.

I believe God is helping us to be a better family. We have been blessed so much already, and we are rapidly making memories to make us forget the past. I believe God told me, “I am restoring the years the locust ate.” It certainly seems to be true.

I think I’ll put up some of our travel photos, without posting anything that shows our faces clearly. That rules out most of the best shots.

In one photo, you can see that our son came along.

Some people who have let us down just didn’t think much about us. Others have betrayed us because they couldn’t stand to see us have pleasant lives, and they wanted to take infantile comfort in the hope that other people would envy and admire them more than us. The plans of people who wanted the worst for us have turned out poorly.

People say living well is the best revenge, because it gives one’s enemies just as much pain as direct attacks. When we do well, it’s not revenge, because we don’t sit around thinking of ways to diminish other people. It’s just us, enjoying the good things God gives us.

Professional Nice Guy

Happy Passover. I don’t call it “Easter” because Easter is a filthy, evil, damned spirit worshiped by pagans. I don’t call this day Resurrection Day unless it doesn’t fall during Passover. My understanding is that today will be Passover until sundown. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Speaking of correction, I saw conflicting dates on different Jewish sites. A Reform site says Passover ended yesterday, but Chabad says it ends today.

“Reform” is a funny word in this context, because it means “to correct.” The Reform movement started because somebody decided to correct God.

“Correct” is a synonym for “righteous,” so “Reform Judaism” means “Judaism made righteous.” The self-imputed righteousness came from Reform Jews, so they must be, literally, self-righteous. Like nearly all Christian denominations. The Catholics have given God all sorts of corrections. They pray to dead popes and baptize babies who have no idea who Yeshua is.

Indulgences are still a problem. The Catholic Church says it has never sold indulgences, but the catechism says you can get one by sending money to support pilgrimages, and the difference is not all that clear to me. This is much like Walmart’s policy, which says I can receive a barbecue grill by sending money. Granted, Walmart isn’t in the pilgrimage business, but money is fungible, so if I give an arm of the Catholic Church money for pilgrimages, it means it loosens up money they can use for other things. Not that they need it, with their gigantic real estate empire.

They say they don’t worship saints. They say they venerate them. And dictionaries define “worship” as “venerate.” That’s interesting.

Reform Jews can eat pork and practice homosexuality, so they are pretty liberal with their corrections. Messianic Jews can also eat pork if they want, but it’s not quite the same thing, since they believe God himself permits it. They can’t be sodomites, though.

Speaking of the self-righteous, I saw an interesting article today. Dwayne Johnson, who calls himself “the Rock” for reasons never made clear, has told the world he is sad because of the sick and dying fans he has communicated with. He never gets tired of positioning himself as the nice musclehead everyone is obligated to love.

Yeshua says the actual rock is the rock of Holy Spirit revelation, as demonstrated by Peter when he said Yeshua was the son of the living God. Professional wrestling and action movies are not mentioned in the Bible as means of salvation.

The identity of the rock is another thing Catholics got wrong. They think Yeshua meant Peter was the rock, meaning he was supposed to be the first pope. Popes are supposed to be infallible in matters of doctrine, however, and Paul corrected Peter’s doctrine publicly. In reality, popes are far from infallible, and the early church didn’t have one.

If Johnson is trying to cheer up sick people out of love for humanity, that’s very good. But overall, it’s not an inspiring story.

First of all, how do celebrity puff pieces get published? How is it that a journalist might find out Johnson was sitting in his house looking at correspondence from sick people? Did the journalist stake out his mansion and use a telephoto lens? Did he hack Johnson’s phone?

No. Johnson put a video of himself on Instagram. He wanted the world to know what he was doing. Yeshua told us not to act like that. The fleeting admiration of human beings is all you get. Okay, you might also make some money. There is no further reward.

So how did this turn into a news story that almost literally glows?

Here’s a fact everyone should be aware of: news outlets are prodded and often paid to publish puff pieces. It’s not just puff pieces. The press gets a great deal of its material and personnel through networking. I’ve written about this sort of thing before.

My sister was a “legal analyst” for Fox and CNN. She appeared on panels as a “former prosecutor.” She liked to brag about this, as though Bill O’Reilly and Dan Abrams had crawled to her home on their knees, seeking her out because of her great reputation.

In reality, she paid a publicist named Terry to call network connections and get her gigs. And she was never vetted. Right now, if you called enough news outlets, you could almost certainly find yourself some gigs as a former prosecutor or even a judge. They won’t check. Tell them you’re an astronaut. See what happens. Say you’re the king of France. It might work.

My sister was not an exemplary prosecutor, and she parted with her employers less than amicably. She ended up suing them.

If you’ve ever gotten the impression that news show panelists were unremarkable and lean on competence, you were onto something. Their main appeal to the networks is their availability. People who are good at their jobs are too busy to do free work on demand.

Back when my sister and I were on good terms, I helped her research for some appearances. I helped in the sense that I actually did the research. She couldn’t speak competently on cases without cramming. And if you listened to her, you were really listening to me.

You don’t get chosen for network panels because you’re successful. You become successful because your network appearances get you business. My sister got all sorts of calls because she was on TV.

Now we have a pretty good idea why Johnson’s Instagram was picked up by the press. He put it out there himself, and he probably had his publicist send some emails. The whole thing was probably the publicist’s idea.

Why criticize someone who cheers up sick people? I think there’s a good reason.

This is an old man on bodybuilding drugs. Don’t question it. When he was a football player at the University of Miami, he had a full-time strength coach, and the man he was then looked like the little sister of the man he is now. Smaller muscles and no definition.

He was smaller when he was a pro wrestler than he is now, and the WWE ran on steroids.

I know a little bit about the strength program at UM, because I was a UM student. I knew a player who looked like a Marvel hero. Muscles bulging all over him. I saw him a few years later, and he was somewhere between Chris Rock and the pre-Ali Will Smith. All the bulk and definition had vanished, along with the tone. You would never have guessed he was even a high school player, let alone college. He didn’t look athletic. The strength coaches at UM surely did an excellent job with Johnson, who was young and full of a young man’s testosterone (if not other things), but he is much bigger now.

Dwayne Johnson is using dangerous drugs to make himself big, and he is also holding himself out as exactly the kind of nice guy kids should look up to. So what are kids going to do when they want to be like the Rock and they find out no amount of clean lifting will get them anywhere close? A lot of them are going to take drugs. Just like their idol.

Very few of them will have riches similar to Johnson’s, so they won’t have capable doctors to oversee their drug regimens. They’ll shoot up in gym locker rooms and hope for the best.

I guarantee you, there are thousands of boys and men who admire Johnson and have taken drugs so they could look like him.

Johnson admits he grew breasts and had them cut out by a surgeon. Why? A condition called gynecomastia, which means “woman breasts.” It’s caused by estrogen, and it happens because people use drugs.

When you use steroids to bulk up, and you shoot up too much, your body may convert the extra testosterone to estrogen. Then you grow breasts. It’s a common problem with drug lifters. They have a crude name for it. I don’t know what they do to fight it now, but they used to take something called tribulus terrestris, thinking it would block estrogen and keep them from growing breasts.

Johnson didn’t have breasts as a college player, so where did they come from?

Other bodybuilding drugs also cause serious problems. Like, for example, death.

It should bother people that an old man who uses drugs to make money and make people think he’s something he is not is promoted as a positive role model.

Anyone whose kids think Johnson is great needs to sit them down and talk to them about drugs, pride, honesty, and the filthiness of professional sports and other types of show business. Yes, sports is show business. That’s why stadiums have all those seats.

Johnson isn’t going to look the way he does his whole life, unless he dies pretty soon. I wonder how he’ll explain the change.

He wouldn’t be the only celebrity to shrink. Arnold Schwarzenegger took enough hormones to power an army of Charlie Sheens, and when he had to quit, I was able to tell people, completely honestly, that my body was better than Arnold Schwarzenegger’s.

Celebrity chef Robert Irvine also appears to be off the juice. On his TV show, he had a huge upper body. Now he’s skinny. He’s so thin, it makes his head look enormous. What happened?

He says he hurt his arm and had to change his routine temporarily. So he shrunk all over? It doesn’t work that way. And his injury was several years ago, so why is he still skinny?

I think his doctor or common sense told him he couldn’t stay on the juice, so he quit.

He says he ruptured his triceps. He probably ruptured a triceps tendon. Steroids build your muscles better than they build connective tissue, so tendon ruptures are common.

He seems to have lost a lot of his swagger. He used to bust up old restaurants with a sledge. I’m not sure he could pick it up now. He used to come across like a nightclub bouncer, ready to get in people’s faces and intimidate. Now he scans more like a high school drama teacher.

He moves differently now. He used to swing his arms around as he talked, as if he wanted everyone to see his arm and torso muscles. Now he holds them close to his sides as though he is holding a gold bar under each arm and doesn’t want it to fall. He seems to want to hide himself.

Muscle drugs are like pride. They pump you up and make you look more impressive than you are.

Johnson said something about not knowing what to say to his sick fans. A Christian filled with the Holy Spirit would know. A Christian could introduce them to Yeshua and put them on a path to supernatural visitations. A Christian might be able to help them get supernatural healing, which is very common. A Christian could help them lose their fear of death.

Celebrities are very poor substitutes for God. They’re like baby bottles full of Kool-Aid.

In other news, my son is changing fast.

When he first popped out, my son was like a potato that cried and pooped. As days passed, he improved. We got some giggles out of him. He started grinning. He cried less. Now he appreciates music.

I have been determined to develop my boy’s potential. Not to make him a genius I can show off but to improve him as a person and prevent major regrets, like the ones I have because my parents taught me so little. I only learned one foreign language. I can’t sight-read while playing an instrument. I was in my thirties when I mastered calculus and became a physicist. My son WILL learn to sight read and play. He WILL be able to write tunes out in proper notation. I may make him learn to sight sing. These skills should be considered basic in a civilized world.

People say you can’t make your kid learn music. Those people are stupid. We make kids learn all sorts of things.

Yesterday, he was crabby about something. One of the hard parts of raising a baby is figuring out what’s wrong with him. Tired? Hungry? Dirty? In pain? Eventually, you have to add “bored” to the list. Last night he was bored. He was grousing and squirming, so I put him on his electronic educational mat so he could bang the toys and kick the music keys. He got engrossed, but that only lasted a while.

It occurred to me that his mat played terrible music, so I decided to find something better. I have a Christian music playlist on Youtube, so I turned it on, picked him up, and made him listen. I bounced him around in time with the beat, and I sang to him.

He lit up like a pinball machine. He smiled with his entire head. He was overjoyed. He couldn’t get enough of it.

We had played music for him before, and my wife had sung to him, but we hadn’t sung to him while listening to good songs, and we hadn’t connected him to the beat. When I put everything together, it worked.

Now I’m going to have to do this with him every day, unless I can make his mother do it sometimes. I’m going to have to find more songs. When he’s far enough along, I will have to do the unthinkable. I’ll have to get him a drum.

My old guitar teacher told me rhythm was the real heart of music. He said the wrong note at the right time was the right note, but the right note at the wrong time was the wrong note. I believe a rhythm instrument is the path to sight reading, because the hardest part of sight reading is reading the rhythm.

I felt very emotional during our session. Some of the songs were very moving, and it was moving to share the experience with him and see his breakthrough. Sometimes I found it hard to sing.

Now I have to ask myself if I should try to play music again, for his sake. If you haven’t made music with other people, you haven’t gotten the full experience. Do I try piano again? Should I break out the guitar and banjo?

One song we listened to was Alison Krauss’s version of “I’ll Fly Away.” Krauss is from the area my parents came from. My aunt knows one of her musicians. “I’ll Fly Away” is an important gospel song in Appalachia. Krauss’s rendition uses bluegrass instruments.

As I listened, I thought about how my bridge to my own people had been burned. I didn’t burn it. They did.

Eastern Kentucky culture is too flawed to take part in. Childishness, racism, drunkenness, drugs, adultery, violence, corruption…I could never go back. But it’s not just my heritage. It’s my son’s heritage. He’s not black. He’s biracial.

My wife gets angry when light-skinned American blacks call themselves black. She says, “I’m black. They’re mixed.” We have to check “black” on forms for my son, and she does not like it. It’s a denial of the most important part of his heritage. He is never going to live in Zambia.

I can’t really connect my son to Appalachia, unless we move to an area where the people have grown up. If he’s not a Kentuckian, what is he? A cultureless person. His only culture will be Christian culture. I suppose that’s for the best, but it’s sad that I can’t introduce my son to the place I used to love.

My mom and dad were real Kentuckians. They were born at home, between hills. They ate the food. They lived the lifestyle. I’m more like Dwight Yoakam, who were raised in another state by parents from Kentucky. I can reach either way.

I don’t know where my son fits in.

There will be no reason for him to see Kentucky. A lot of my family’s surviving members chose money, land, and possessions over me. My sister lives there, but she’s Satan incarnate. All the nice properties in which I owned an interest in are gone.

If I went to Kentucky, I would only tell one cousin and aunt. Other relatives, whom I used to love visiting, come to Florida and don’t tell me. They get most of the family together for holidays, and they haven’t invited me, ever. I have never done them wrong. Not even once. But they have certainly done me wrong.

I never stole anything from my grandparents’ estates. I never tried to charge for doing work on the estates. I never swindled any of my relatives. They’ve done those things to my aunt and me.

Oddly, they made soulless sacrifices, but I’m the one who ended up well off and joyously unemployed. I’m well enough off to never miss the loss of what they took from me. The misery of hiring a lawyer and battling them would be much greater than the pleasure of being repaid. My standard of living would not improve.

What they took isn’t enough to put any of them in my position. Apart from one aunt, the ones who are doing well had to get almost all of it elsewhere. If you’re going to sell yourself, you should at least get a good price.

I would have to become like them in order to scrap with them. That is not a price I am willing to pay, because I understand something they never will.

I knew my mother’s and father’s cousins. I knew my great aunts and uncles. My son can forget all that. My wife’s family is in Zambia, she’s an orphan, most of the relatives I knew are dead, and almost all of the rest will never be close to me again.

When relatives died in the past, it went without saying that I would go to their funerals. Now? It might be awkward.

When my dad died in 2019, the aunt that has turned on me declined to go to his funeral. She had known him for over 60 years. She was in her vacation condo in Naples, and she said she had an appointment to have it measured for blinds.

We were on good terms then. But she needed those blinds.

I flew to her husband’s funeral. I flew to her son-in-law’s funeral. Things used to be very different.

You wouldn’t think listening to one song with a baby would bring all this to mind.

I can’t fix other people. We live lives of joy and love here, all by ourselves, and I have Christian friends who fill the places my relatives used to occupy. That will be more than enough.

Side Effects Looking a Lot Like Main Effects

I am not an anti-vaxxer. When Trump rushed vaccines to market in a demonstration of his extraordinary competence, I took one as soon as I could, not knowing it would later be banned because it caused fatal blood clots. I took 5 vaccines last year, for things like tetanus and the flu. I think vaccines are generally good. I only have concerns about vaccines reputable experts are concerned about. Like every single covid vaccine, for example.

My son has had something like 8 vaccines. I forget. I’m doing what is recommended, and I only apply three rules of my own: no covid shots, no mRNA, and no pincushion days in which he gets an extreme number of shots. I spread the shots out somewhat. The establishment claims there is no benefit to spreading vaccinations out, but it also says you should wear a mask on an airplane, where your chance of catching something is one in half a million. There is definitely no down side, and this is my son, not Anthony Fauci’s.

My covid rule is sound. I’m not sure any healthy person should ever have had a covid shot, but these days, I know that no one outside of high-risk groups should be injected. That excludes the young.

The vaccines unquestionably kill a certain number of people, young people are dying suddenly and inexplicably in unprecedented numbers, people who have decent credentials are concerned that the shots may cause cancer in some individuals, and we have learned that the mRNA shots were tainted from the start. On the other hand, low-risk people are extremely unlikely to have serious problems with covid. There is no good reason for them not to wait till the vaccine problems are eliminated beyond any dispute.

It appears the disease has become very mild. No one talks about it any more; we’re no longer scared, leftists nuts excluded. It also appears to be much less common than it once was, even though people have quit taking shots. I got it several times back when it was the hot new plague, but it has probably been two years since I’ve had any type of illness at all. Maybe longer. No covid. No colds. No flu. No nothing. I can’t remember the last time I was sick.

I just recalled something. About 16 months ago, beer started tasting off to me, and I thought I might have covid. But I didn’t get sick.

Covid is so unsensational these days, you can get covid and die from a gunshot wound, and they won’t even lie and call you a covid fatality. Like they would have a couple of years ago.

It seems pretty clear to me that many millions of people who contracted the flu and colds and so on were deliberately misdiagnosed as covid cases. I consider it a fact, because to believe otherwise would be to make unreasonable leaps of unsupported faith.

The flu ordinarily hits hundreds of millions of people per year, but the medical establishment would have us believe it nearly vanished during the covid years. The last sentence is not a conspiracy canard. Medical institutions that are hostile to conservatism publicly discuss the “mysterious” disappearance of influenza. You can see it on charts compiled by the government.

When covid was hot, the government made the mistake of publishing a PDF listing its diagnostic criteria. I downloaded it. Early on, there were no tests, and later, tests were very hard to come by, so guess what? Doctors were told that if patients had certain symptoms, they could be filed under covid. No tests required. The symptoms were consistent with the flu and other common respiratory disease.

For a long time, the vast majority of people were diagnosed without tests.

After tests became available, they were very unreliable. My wife and I traveled all over the world, and both of us caught covid on trips. We had to be tested before boarding planes. We always passed our tests and flew home sick. There was virtually no possibility anyone would be infected by us, staying abroad would have been extremely expensive, and I had an expensive, unoccupied home and two pets to look after.

When hundreds of millions of people were being tested over and over, and the tests were highly likely to result in false positives, of course there had to be many millions of false positives. Meanwhile, who was being tested for the flu? RSV? Pneumonia? Nobody. They almost never test for those things. Who gets a flu test? They just guess based on symptoms. So there was no real counterweight to offset false covid positives The false negatives could be offset to some degree by doctors who trusted symptoms enough to overrule test results.

If we gave two billion people tests for syphilis right now, and the tests gave false positives 20% of the time, we would have 400 million false positives. Coronavirus tests in the US alone have run into the billions.

Hospitals were paid a king’s ransom for every covid diagnosis. The payoffs could exceed a hundred grand for one patient. Covid diagnoses also bolstered the left’s hysterical covid propaganda, and the medical establishment unquestionably leans far to the left. They bolstered the power of leftist politicians who went so far as to put millions under house arrest. Politicians will support anything that gives them power. Finally, medical people were terrified of covid, just as people were terrified of AIDS before we found out it was just about impossible to get without sodomy or shooting up. There were powerful incentives to lie and boost the figures, and there were no negative consequences. In fact, society leaped on dissidents and whistleblowers and tore them apart.

The cowardly, intolerant, dishonest, greedy, selfish, cruel behavior of the human race during the pandemic stands out as one of the most disgraceful global phenomena ever to be recorded. We learned that ours is not a species with which you want to share a lifeboat.

Doctors admit there is no way, within the bounds of science, to explain the sudden disappearance of the flu. But there is a very plausible political explanation, and then there is Occam’s razor.

People who died from non-covid problems while suffering mild covid were called covid deaths. A local guy here was killed in a motorcycle crash, and his family got mad because he was labeled a covid death. Another man died from a heart attack and got listed. I’m sure many people who died from the flu, RSV, severe colds, pneumonia, bronchitis, strokes, all sorts of cardiac events, old age, and even car wrecks and muggings ended up on the covid list.

Yes, you can die from a cold, if you’re frail enough. It happens.

Having mild covid and dying from an unrelated cause used to be like dying in Chicago and then voting for Democrats. You were gone, you couldn’t fight back, but your name was still useful to the leftist machine. I’m surprised they didn’t claim Kobe Bryant for the covid list.

Maybe they did. How would we know? Maybe they sat down and entered numbers without bothering to provide identities and data.

To sum up, no coronavirus shots for my boy.

He had several shots last week, and yesterday, we made the mistake of having him vaccinated for rotavirus. This is a bug that causes something like norovirus, and it has killed babies through fever and dehydration.

I shouldn’t say we made a mistake, but we are experiencing consequences we did not expect, and we were not informed well in advance. The nice lady who dribbled the vaccine into our baby’s mouth said he might have diarrhea for a day or two. Given the usual state of his bowels, I’m not sure how we would tell the difference.

He was up most of last night. He had abdominal cramping. Got him up this morning, and he had a huge diaper blowout. Then more cramping. He spat up more than usual, so getting liquid into him was a chore.

“No big deal,” I thought, “How long can it last?” I checked. The answer: 7 days. Unless it lasts longer. In other words, no idea, except that it usually subsides in under a week.

Now my wife’s eyes are red. She hasn’t slept much at all. We are wondering how long this will last.

The rotavirus vaccines are interesting because they are not vaccines in the sense of the word the general public understands. When I think of vaccines, I think of shots that provide dead viruses or bits of virus DNA to stimulate the immune system to produce antibodies. Rotavirus vaccines are full of live viruses, so when you take the vaccine, you’re actually getting the disease. It’s milder than the form you would get if you sucked on a dirty ball at daycare, and it builds immunity, so it’s supposed to be worth it.

The viruses in the vaccine are weakened. I have no idea how you weaken a virus without killing it.

There is even better news: after your kid takes the vaccine, you can get rotavirus from him. It comes out in poop and spit. The vaccine lady told us not to kiss him on the mouth or we might get diarrhea. Neither of us comes from the kind of family where people kiss each other on the mouth or play spin the bottle with each other, so we figured we were safe. Not so. We have to be careful and wash our hands a lot.

Our son isn’t doing too bad. He seems a little tired from increased pooping. He is generally in good spirits.

It’s nice to see how he improves with age. As late as a week ago, he thought every inconvenience had to be met with top-volume screaming. I started to wonder if he was going to be that kid. The one no one but his parents can stand. Now things are getting better. I can tell he is trying not to cry.

He was having an unpleasant bowel movement this morning, and he restrained his cries. He even smiled at us while this was going on. I thought this was fantastic.

We live in a world where many adults live in a constant state of tantrum or tantrum readiness. It’s disgusting. They go off over nothing, and they can’t be placated because they don’t want to. They prefer the tantrum experience to normal life. They relish the screaming, vandalism, and violence. They look for reasons to start, and they reject efforts to calm them down. Calming down spoils their fun.

This is what happens when you enjoy tantrums more than getting along with people; when you look forward to having tantrums and you want them to last.

Emotional cultures produce this type of person. American blacks and Hispanics are notable for short tempers and tantrums in adults. It’s also a problem with many Southerners, although not as commonly. It’s worse among white trash; the type of people who steal each other’s yard tools. Italians also like screaming and yelling. They think being emotional is something to be proud of, when it’s really a major disgrace.

Containing your emotions is like using a toilet instead of filling your pants. If you can’t do it as an adult, you should be deeply ashamed. It doesn’t mean you have a big heart. It doesn’t mean you’re a free spirit. It means you’re a little closer to a monkey than everyone else.

Ding my door in a parking lot, and I will politely ask you to take responsibility. Ding the door of a person who thinks his emotions are always right, and he may have to be pulled off of you.

My son is developing a preference for self-restraint. What a relief. He won’t grow up like a family member of mine who thinks every slight is justification for taking cowardly revenge later. He won’t go through life like an ex-girlfriend who thinks she has to ruin your existence instead of moving on with life because you got smart and dumped her instead of fulfilling her shallow marital fantasies. He won’t want to join Antifa.

He won’t have to be handcuffed at an airport or Walmart because he has to hit everyone who won’t give him his way.

My sister the felon ran from a traffic stop and hit the cop who was talking to her because she has to have her way every second of her life. She can’t self-monitor or exercise any kind of restraint. My son is not headed that way.

I was concerned for him because he cried a lot, and it was partly because of my family history. My dad was somewhat sociopathic, and my sister is the full package. Both very abusive. Extremely selfish. Destructive to the people around them, not to mention themselves. My dad’s grandmother was a grudge-holding hellcat who ruled her husband’s house. My dad’s sister was a sociopath who beat her stepdaughter all the time for no reason. I thought there was some risk my son would inherit their problems.

Some people think nurture is everything and nature is nothing. They don’t think personality traits, talents, or intelligence run in families. Yeah, okay. Niels Bohr and his son both won Nobel Prizes, but okay. The Bernoulli family just happened to produce multiple great physicists and mathematicians. It was something in the water. Tall people have tall kids, but we’re not allowed to say low intelligence, anger problems, or poor impulse control run in families.

We are surrounded by demons we can’t see, and based on experience, many Christians believe some demons stick with families and spread and continue characteristic family curses like abnormal sexual desires, addictions, and even poverty. We know this is possible, because there were cursed families in the Bible.

I believe it’s true. I have often wondered if evil spirits are able to change the DNA of cursed families. They probably can. They are definitely able to affect the natural world. They cause diseases, so why shouldn’t they be able to code DNA for narcissism and malice? Why not perversion? Odd as it sounds, doctors say homosexuality, a curse that works against reproduction, runs in families.

We bless our son, out loud. I curse the spirits that want him. I tell him God will fill him with supernatural love, faith, peace, joy, revelation, and humility. I tell him he will be full of the Holy Spirit. I don’t want him to be like relatives who led destructive lives and harmed themselves and the people they should have loved and built up. I don’t want him to go to hell like my aunt.

As he changes and improves, our bond grows. As he screams less and gives us more positive feedback, we find we can spend more time interacting with him and less time trying to clean him and calm him down.

I started teaching him out of his crinkle books. These are washable fabric books full of pictures, and they make crinkly noises when babies play with them. We have one about farm animals. I told him we don’t like squirrels and we must shoot them on sight. I informed him that the pig was the king of animals, and I listed some of its many blessings. Ribs. Bacon. Pork rinds. Country ham. I told him horses make great jackets.

I don’t know how much of it he absorbed, but he followed right along as though he understood.

I hope the vaccine’s side effects vanish quickly. We were getting enough diaper blowouts before the vaccine. We don’t need any more. I want my son to be able to sleep. I don’t want him to be tormented by stomach cramps.

In two months, we get more vaccines. Before we do, I am going to do my own research. This time, we relied on the professionals, and we were caught flat-footed.

MORE

This is glorious. Can it be real? Donald Trump has torn down Joe Biden’s covid page, which falsely claimed coronavirus came from a natural source. It has been replaced with a page containing the most up-to-date, scientifically-sound theory, which is that the virus was man-made and accidentally released by incompetent CCP scientists in Wuhan, China.

I know the world is crumbling, but it’s nice to get an occasional glimpse of what it would be if it were really turning around.

We are Goldstein

Let’s compare two sitreps.

Me:

Woke up in my nice Sam’s Club memory foam bed. Prayed in tongues and prophesied for 90 minutes. Grabbed my beautiful son, who was in prime morning-baby mood, and messed with him while he burbled with joy. Noticed that he had pooped on his romper during the night. Took him to the laundry room, put him in the special seat in the utility sink, and rubbed him all over with a hot, soapy washcloth while he grinned and tried to eat water drops that got close to his mouth.

Diapered the baby, put the poo items in the washer, threw out the carefully-wrapped diaper, and handed the heir apparent over to mom, who was thrilled to have him back.

Went to the living room and ate a gorgeous toasted bagel with cream cheese, slices of Bermuda onion, smoked salmon also from Sam’s Club, and decaf with too much cream and sugar. Watched a Top Gear clip and made fun of the British.

Unidentified Mainstream West Coast Leftist:

Went on Tiktok wearing a Dodgers jersey. Small confused dog also wearing Dodgers jersey. Screamed in torment about the L.A. Dodgers visiting the White House. Called two talented baseball players DEI hires. Ripped jersey off self. Tore dog’s jersey off so roughly she should be cited for animal cruelty. Announced her plans to burn her jerseys, sparing one that belonged to a player who missed the White House visit because he hurt his ankle. Complained that things should be different, because this is the Age of Aquarius. The demons she worships are letting her down. Imagine that.

Two people. Same world. Same country. Same week.

Leftists are the people who have planted their perversion-celebrating antisemitic flag on joy and love. The people who supposedly do life right. The rest of us–the Gomers and Goobers–are supposedly the miserable potato eaters who don’t know what we’re missing because we’re too stupid and too busy committing incest.

Polls from left-leaning organizations say people on my side are happier, better-looking, and even less mentally ill than the snowflakes, even though they make more money and tend to be more educated. Even the polls are deluded!

Red life is wonderful. The South is the most-fun place there is. I’m missing out on so much hatred and fear.

A young guy bought the house across the private drive a few years back. He bought it from a great older couple, Russ and Sally. Russ played basketball at LSU. As Southern as they come. Heavy accent. He was an ignorant incest-committer who could not read. No, actually, he was a very smart guy with a math degree. He made his money selling medical stuff because the job market for mathematicians isn’t all that great.

The young guy has a land-clearing business. I just wrote a letter for him, telling some authority or other to let him park his diesel grapple, truck, and equipment trailer on his lot. He has a wife and three kids. The kids zip around the property on a quad. We get along great. He came over here and moved problem trees for me without being asked or paid. In fact, he asked permission.

So far, neither of us has left the private non-HOA subdivision wearing black PJ’s from Urban Outfitters and carrying bottles of pee to hurl at the cops. None of the residents of these two properties key Teslas. We haven’t screamed at the sky.

I hang out with my wife and baby son. We pray. We occasionally host overnight visitors. I shoot in the yard. I like running around in the utility cart and working with the chainsaws and the tractor. My lot is so big I have to use a cart to get around, and I have to use the phone to communicate from one end to the other. I write on my blog. I brew beer.

We must be doing something wrong. We could be living it up in Times Square or any neighborhood in Seattle, pooping on the sides of police cars, setting fire to ourselves over Ukraine, calling for the murder of all Jews in Israel, and telling our son he’s a girl.

The other day I told my son I had assigned the male gender to him. I’ve told other people. It gives me a laugh. I tell him not to be a fruit or a leftist when he grows up.

If we’re doing so many things wrong, why is life so good?

My buddy Mike has a son who married a leftist. Their marriage is an equal partnership, so it’s really a matriarchy. They are not interested in our white, European-looking, colonialist God.

Mom is a fake vegan who sometimes eats things like cheese. Dad plays along when he’s in the house. They have two small girls. The last one came in seriously underweight at birth. That’s what happens when you don’t eat meat. Vegetarianism is very, very bad for the unborn and for children. Even our left-leaning medical establishment says so. Know what you’re supposed to eat while breastfeeding? Protein. Look it up.

Guess what breast milk is, by vegan standards? An animal product. We’re not really animals, but leftists think we are. Anyway, they think breast milk is okay for babies, but as soon as they’re weaned, it’s time for sickly white fluids concocted from things like oats and soybeans. Soybeans are toxic until they’re cooked, and they’re full of female hormones, but okay.

Mom and Dad bought their first baby a lesbian costume. A grey sweatshirt with a rainbow on it and a pair of masculine-looking jeans. I would rather have God strike me dead than let me put homo clothes or girls’ clothes on my boy. It astonishes me that there are parents pushing their kids to adopt abomination. A baby is literally better off dying in the crib than going to hell. There is no purpose in having children to fill up hell.

They used to get mad at Mike for using words like “she,” “her,” and “girl.” Like the first baby’s sex was a secret she wasn’t supposed to know. Now they find themselves using these words themselves. I wonder if they cudgel themselves later and sleep in hair shirts made from fake hair. They have even put dresses on the baby.

When the son found out my wife and I were having a baby, he told Mike he wanted to know what we were planning to do to help him cope with life under white supremacy. No joke. My plan is to make sure my son knows there are only two races: God’s family, and everyone else.

They worry all the time. They live in fear. They have little free time. They are unhappy. They are angry at good people.

Life here gets more peaceful all the time. We don’t worry about the future, because someone is planning it for us. I call our house the House of Love, because it’s true.

Here on the blog, I express a lot of annoyance, but that’s not reflective of the atmosphere here or my general attitude. I don’t go around in real life fuming about the world, and I do not hope conservatives start shooting our persecutors. I would like to be raptured. I want to be elsewhere when people on my side look for payback.

Mike’s son and his wife are normal. More typical of this age than my family. That’s terrible.

The centrifuging of society has progressed to an extreme degree, and Satan’s smug children are getting heavily concentrated at the bottoms of the tubes. Their contempt for God’s children is deep and impenetrable. Their hatred is hotter than ever. The spring of future violence is compressed almost to its limit.

Today I read about a poll. About 55% of Democrats said assassinating the president was at least somewhat justified. Elon Musk? A paltry 48%. We’re talking about cold-blooded murder, if it can ever be correct to say leftists have cold blood. It boils all the time.

Democrats are now showing up at hate events wearing hats like that of Luigi, a video game character. They symbolize agreement with Luigi Mangione, the cowardly liberal nutwad who murdered an innocent insurance executive on the street.

Imagine this happening during the last century. What if this were 1964, and Republicans were wearing T-shirts bearing the image of Oswald the rabbit, showing how happy they were that John Kennedy’s brain had been splattered all over his wife’s dress and expressing their hope that more murders would follow?

Couldn’t have happened.

Here’s irony: Luigi hats feature a big “L” on the forehead. What is that the universal symbol for?

Couldn’t be more appropriate. Satan is THE biggest loser in existence, and his children are losers. I mean that literally. Satan is incapable of being blessed, but he is a curse magnet. A black hole for curses. They can fall in, but they can’t get out. His kids are the same way, but curses can’t stick to real Christians.

As usual, things are even worse than I thought they were. How can this be sustainable? If a very comfortable majority of Democrats admit they think it would be good to see the president murdered, and it’s okay to wear a hat celebrating the killing of a husband and father who was no threat to anyone, how long can it be before Democrats start traveling in armed mobs, shooting everyone they think MIGHT be a Trump supporter, true Christian, Zionist, or Jew?

I see that we are lucky leftists hate guns, because it hinders their progress. If conservatives wanted to put death squads on the street, we could do it today, but angry liberal men tend to be weak, soft individuals who don’t know guns work. When you see them running around in their conformist black pajamas (because black is the color of love and joy), you can’t help noticing that their necks and their wrists are often about the same size. They are taking a long time to prepare.

I think Democrats are becoming like Muslims and the Irish-Americans who funded the IRA. Some are willing to become terrorists. The others are not, but many of those who are not are willing to support terror in private.

Let me digress. I learned something interesting the other day from a secular historian. In the early days of Christianity, people dressed normally at funerals. They wore cheerful colors. They knew they were celebrating people’s entry into heaven. They started wearing black because the Catholics and the Orthodox, who ran pagan organizations pretending to be churches, adopted pagan funeral customs. For pagans, death was terrifying.

Now it’s like every leftist event is a funeral. A funeral for civilization and love. They even root for the end of humanity. They think human beings are an infestation, and the world is like a house that needs to be tented for termites.

We are what gives the world purpose. Without us, it would be better to destroy it and save animals suffering.

It’s important to maintain perspective. If you don’t check leftists out once in a while, and your own life is easy and peaceful, it’s not hard to forget that the ship is sinking.