Shame on Us

This morning’s prayer group was phenomenal. Oddly enough, the regular leader was out of town, and the guy who led the meeting is Haitian. He has family in Haiti; he still doesn’t know exactly what’s going on with them, and he is very concerned. Guess what he talked about? Ezekiel 33. Read it. If you think Pat Robertson was wrong to say what he did, imagine how you’d feel if he had read this chapter aloud on his TV show. Here is an excerpt:

1 And the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 2 “Son of man, speak to the sons of your people and say to them, ‘If I bring a sword upon a land, and the people of the land take one man from among them and make him their watchman, 3 and he sees the sword coming upon the land and blows on the trumpet and warns the people, 4 then he who hears the sound of the trumpet and does not take warning, and a sword comes and takes him away, his blood will be on his own head. 5 ‘He heard the sound of the trumpet but did not take warning; his blood will be on himself. But had he taken warning, he would have delivered his life. 6 ‘But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet and the people are not warned, and a sword comes and takes a person from them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood I will require from the watchman’s hand.’

That goes way beyond what I feel entitled to say. I just said idolatry causes severe problems, and that it’s a good idea to knock it off.

Funny thing; one of the other guys in the group is Haitian, and he disapproved of Robertson’s words, while agreeing that it was appropriate to talk about Ezekiel 33.

The guy who led the group was a great choice. He knows the Bible really well, and he has tremendous enthusiasm and sensitivity. One of the best things about church is meeting people who stand beside you and reinforce you in your walk. I’m so glad I’m not limited to an hour and a half a week, sitting in a pew, completely passive.

Tonight I’ll be helping with PR, as we reach out to Haiti. Should be interesting.

Blogging Skills are Actually Useful on Rare Occasions

I contacted my church to see if they needed help during the Haiti crisis. BIG mistake. Now I’m cranking out copy for their website and trying to help them get a blog going. The PR lady at the church says she has been sleeping two hours a night. They’re going to be doing a lot of work, partnering with charities, TBN, and ministries.

Not sure why they didn’t call me instead of waiting, but there it is.

Hope I can be of use.

Partnership

My pastor says they can use my help with their Haitian relief effort, but as yet, I have no idea what form that help will take. Hopefully it will not be something that results in me fainting from exerting myself while this virus lingers. Although that would make for a good Youtube.

On Twitter, he reports that Trinity Church will be partnering with Friend Ships Unlimited. That will be interesting. Apparently they’ll be working out of the Port of Miami.

Plus Pizza Ruminations

Tragedy is always with us. Back to lighter topics.

I had a big–HUGE–breakthrough last night while practicing the piano.

I recently decided to resume piano, but instead of trying to learn pieces, my only goal was to learn to sight-read fluently. If you can’t sight read (and you’re not a savant), you can’t truly understand music, and composing will be very tough. It will be like using the hunt-and-peck method to type a novel. That’s not the only reason I wanted to learn. My memory just isn’t good enough to allow me to store piano pieces over the long term. I was advised to learn to sight read in order to be develop the ability to play things I had learned in the past. The sheet music helps you over the rough spots.

For weeks, I’ve been using a boring sight-reading book for an hour a day. That’s all I could stand. I put in fifteen minutes of note reading with each hand, and I also did half an hour of timing training.

I got to the point where the book was frustrating. There was very little material in it, and I had a problem with the exercises getting into my memory. Once that happens, you’re not sight-reading. You’re playing from memory, so your sight-reading skills get no workout.

I moved on to a boring book of horrendous Bach pieces, plus a book of easy classics. That helped a lot, but I was frustrated because I wasn’t yet mixing note-reading with timing practice. When I practiced timing, I used the sight-reading book, which features a bunch of exercises using one “A” key for each hand. When I practiced note reading, I ignored the timing, because I couldn’t focus on timing and finger placement at the same time.

Last night I found some very simple pieces in my books, and I started putting the notes and timing together. It works. I played abominably, but I managed to get through the measures. I only used one hand, but it was still great progress. Now I don’t have to suffer with separate exercises for notes and timing, and what I play sort of resembles music, so it’s not as boring. It goes much faster, and it’s much more satisfying to do. And I’m not forced to rely on a training book. Instead of gritting my teeth and quitting the instant the timer rings, I enjoy this enough to go past an hour. That should make a gigantic difference in my progress.

I’d like to write some Christian music. The industry seems to be in a slump right now. It could use a shot in the arm. Maybe I could make a contribution. I ask God for his help all the time. I ask him to help me master music. It seems to be paying off. Whether or not I ever publish anything, at least I’ll be able to read music properly and write it without struggling. That’s a tremendous gift. I’m thrilled about it. Last night, in my head, I heard the wildest variation on Vince Guaraldi’s “Linus and Lucy.” I’d love to put it in MIDI form, just for fun. Can’t do that if I can’t write music.

Christian music sounds dull, right? Wrong. Amazing Grace. Handel’s Messiah. Good Christian music appeals to everyone. Only the lame stuff is dull.

What else is going on? I still struggle with pizza. I flirted with cheddar for a while, but then I got some more Costco mozzarella, and I felt like a philanderer. That’s some cheese, that Costco cheese. Might be better if it had a little more sourness to it, but it’s just about perfect. Adding cheddar is just about pointless. I can use it straight.

The problem with that is that it affects the sauce. Mike advised me to use white vinegar in my tomato sauce, and it works, but recent pizzas lead me to suspect that the main reason the vinegar is necessary is the inadequacy of the cheese. When I use Costco cheese, I have to cut way back on the vinegar. Today I plan to make a pie with no vinegar at all. It’s not gluttony. It’s research. I am actually looking forward to eating something else for lunch. I love pizza and I want it constantly (even while I’m asleep), but even a small one makes it necessary for me to watch my intake for the rest of the day, and it makes my diet unbalanced.

Another odd thing: better cheese seems to reduce the need for sauce.

I’m thinking I might start making tiny pizzas with half a cup of flour, but here’s a funny fact: to test a recipe, you need a certain amount of food. One bite doesn’t tell you much. A 12″ pizza is about the minimum for a quality trial. If I halve the flour, I’ll end up with pizzas about 8 1/2″ in diameter, which is not too bad, but not optimal.

The dough is also on my mind. I’ve been using bread flour and no fat, and then I’ve been putting olive oil on the outside of the dough so it won’t crack when I toss it. But I had a lot of great biscuit-flour pizzas in the past, and I’m wondering if I should try it again, with the oil on the outside. Low-gluten biscuit flour tends to crack more easily than bread flour, so it may be a challenge.

Today I’m going to make a biscuit-flour pie with little or no vinegar in the sauce. I guess I’ll learn something.

It’s good that I exist to do all this testing. I think I’m bringing the world valuable information. Imagine having to do all this for yourselves.

To the best of my knowledge, pizza is the single hardest food to make well. I have never come across another culinary challenge that even came close. I suppose this is fitting, because pizza is the best food there is. Some would say it’s wrong to claim one food is better than all others. That it’s subjective. No; pizza is king. That is an absolute truth, predating the creation of the universe. If I denied it, my head would explode.

Blood Needed

According to news reports, there is a big need for blood donations after the Haiti earthquake. I’m going to see if they’ll have me. I don’t know if I can donate while I’m getting over a virus. I suppose everyone who reads this will already be aware of the need, but it can’t hurt to point it out.

My church is soliciting donations, but I didn’t know that when I heard about the quake. I always go to World Vision when I hear about a need like this. We are having some kind of prayer service tomorrow. I feel kind of useless because I’m still taking it pretty easy while the virus wears off.

It turns out the vast majority of the church is Haitian. I knew there were a lot of them there, but I wasn’t sure it was that big a segment. Maybe there will be a way for me to get involved, beyond prayer and donations.

It’s amazing how vulnerable people in certain countries are. They suffer terribly from problems that are easily avoided. In Africa, tiny children go blind all the time simply because their mothers don’t wash their faces. The Haitian tragedy could have been averted with rebar and adherence to building codes. We have a big problem with Haitians drowning in the Gulf Stream, because they get on overloaded boats without taking flotation devices and without learning to swim. How do you explain a thing like that? How can an adult do a thing like that in 2010? Cubans cross the Stream, too, but they usually bring fresh water and things that float. An empty gallon jug retrieved from Haiti’s inexhaustible supply of litter can keep you alive until someone spots you. It’s not like there is an economic barrier preventing people from taking basic steps to protect themselves.

One remarkable thing about the earthquake is that it killed people from other nations. If you go to Haiti as a charity worker, you may end up living in a structure that isn’t sound, so when an earthquake comes, you’re no better off than the locals. Where, then, are the relief workers staying today? I’d be happy to go over and help, but you couldn’t get me to sleep inside a Haitian building. You don’t have this problem when they get hurricanes and floods. An earthquake is worse. Aftershocks can keep killing after the main event.

Haiti is cursed. I don’t care who doesn’t believe it. I come from a place that is under a curse–a white rural ghetto that receives missionaries from other parts of America–and I am not afraid to say there are other places with the same problem. The only permanent answer to Haiti’s problems is the eradication of demon worship. The PC crowd doesn’t want to offend by mentioning the real problem. They’d rather shoot the messenger than acknowledge the cause of the suffering. I don’t care. In the end, they will not be my judges. They are enablers. I have no respect for their half-baked opinions. They’re wrong about everything else. This is just business as usual.

Put This in His Personnel File

Here’s a Bible lesson for people who think it’s wrong for a Christian to criticize another religion. It’s an excerpt from the first book of Kings.

So Obadiah went to King Ahab and told him, and Ahab set off to meet Elijah. When Ahab saw him, he said, “So there you are–the worst troublemaker in Israel!”

“I am not the troublemaker,” Elijah answered. “You are–you and your father. You are disobeying the LORD’s commands and worshiping the idols of Baal. Now order all the people of Israel to meet me at Mount Carmel. Bring along the 450 prophets of Baal and the 400 prophets of the goddess Asherah who are supported by Queen Jezebel.”

So Ahab summoned all the Israelites and the prophets of Baal to meet at Mount Carmel. Elijah went up to the people and said, “How much longer will it take you to make up your minds? If the LORD is God, worship him; but if Baal is God, worship him!” But the people didn’t say a word.

Then Elijah said, “I am the only prophet of the LORD still left, but there are 450 prophets of Baal. Bring two bulls; let the prophets of Baal take one, kill it, cut it in pieces, and put it on the wood–but don’t light the fire. I will do the same with the other bull. Then let the prophets of Baal pray to their god, and I will pray to the LORD, and the god who answers by sending fire–he is God.”

The people shouted their approval.

Then Elijah said to the prophets of Baal. “Since there are so many of you, you take a bull and prepare it first. Pray to your god, but don’t set fire to the wood.”

They took the bull that was brought to them, prepared it, and prayed to Baal until noon. They shouted. “Answer us. Baal!” and kept dancing around the altar they had built. But no answer came.

At noon Elijah started making fun of them; “Pray louder! Hi is a god! Maybe he is day-dreaming or relieving himself, or perhaps he’s gone off on a trip! Or maybe he’s sleeping, and you’ve got to wake him up!” So the prophets prayed louder and cut themselves with knives and daggers, according to their ritual, until blood flowed. They kept on ranting and raving until the middle of the afternoon; but no answer came, not sound was heard.

Then Elijah said to the people, “Come closer to me.” and they all gathered around him. He set about repairing the altar of the LORD which had been torn down. He took twelve stones, one for each of the twelve tribes named for the sons of Jacob, the man to whom the LORD had given the name Israel With these stones he rebuilt the altar for the worship of the LORD. He dug a trench around it, large enough to hold about four gallons of water. Then he placed the wood on the altar, cut the bull in pieces, and laid it on the wood. He said, “Fill four jars with water and pour it on the offering and the wood.” They did so, and the said, “Do it again”–and they did. “Do it once more,” he said–and they did. The water ran down around the altar and filled the trench.

At the hour of the afternoon sacrifice the prophet Elijah approached the altar and prayed, “O LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, prove now that you are the God of Israel. and that I am your servant and have done all this at your command. Answer me, LORD, answer me, so that this people will know that you, the LORD, are God and that you are bringing them back to yourself.”

The LORD sent fire down, and it burned up the sacrifice, the wood, and the stones, scorched the earth and dried up the water in the trench.

When the people saw this, they threw themselves on the ground and exclaimed. “The LORD is God; the LORD alone is God!”

Elijah ordered, “Seize the prophets of Baal; don’t let any of them get away!” The people seized them all, and Elijah led them down to Kishon Brook and killed them.

Man, that Elijah was intolerant and backward. I wonder who put him up to that.

Strait is the Gate and Small the Tent

I don’t know what to say about my eye exam.

On the one hand, I’m having a bad eye day. Some days I see better than others, and today is not a good day. On the other, the doctor said my vision was very good. No need of correction.

I can’t help being bummed out when I remember the way I used to see, but I’m so much luckier than most people, I should be celebrating.

After the exam, I helped the dockmaster at my dad’s marina fix a shore cable, and he told me his daughter was diagnosed with a retinal blastoma. This is a cancer that strikes very young kids. Typically, it’s discovered when the pupil of one eye looks white in a photo. The tumors are white, and they’re on the retina, so a flashbulb brings them out.

She has had 40 operations and only sees out of one eye. I had thirty years of vision better than most people will ever experience, and even now, apart from some farsightedness, I’m better off than most teenagers.

If you want to say a prayer for this girl, be my guest. I don’t know her name.

I got some angry comments when I asserted that Pat Robertson was right to suggest Haiti was under a curse because of idolatry. He’s a strange guy, and I would not call myself an admirer, but I can’t fault him for humbly and compassionately expressing his sadness about a nation that has a history of indulging in a dangerous practice. I would also remind people that he did so while helping funnel millions of dollars to Haiti.

People say he blamed the Haitians and that he said they deserved what they got, but that’s not what he said in the video. The accusations about Robertson appear to be stupid, deliberate, vicious lies. Nothing new there. If they are deliberate lies, the people who are spewing this propaganda are guilty of something much worse than suggesting a nation needs to turn to God.

One of Satan’s best tricks is turning evil into good and good into evil. We’re seeing it more and more now. If you caution people against homosexuality, because you care about them and you know it leads to misery, you’re not showing kindess; no, you’re a hate-filled bigot who likes seeing people die from AIDS. If you say it’s wrong for teachers to show your kids the “safe” way to fornicate, you’re not a responsible parent; you’re a freak who wants to condemn kids to death by projecting your backward sexual hangups onto them. If you think a seven-month fetus shouldn’t be torn apart without anaesthesia for the convenience of an irresponsible mother, you’re not protecting babies; you’re persecuting the sexually enlightened and forcing unwanted babies to live in anguish. And if you say Satan worship leads to misery, you’re punishing victims of a totally random tragedy. Like the many totally random tragedies that inexplicably strike Haiti just about every year while missing the other half of the island on which Haiti sits.

Jesus told us that before he returned to earth, it would be as it was in the days of Noah. What were those days like? Humanity was so perverse, God was willing to wipe it from the face of the earth and start over. The Talmud tells us the final straw was the forming of marriage contracts between people and animals. The one righteous man on earth, Noah, was a laughingstock (until it started raining).

We’re headed that way again. Perversion and arrogance and self-love are virtues. Exposing sin–one of the most helpful things you can do, and something the Bible requires us to do, proactively–is “hate.” Up is down. Day is night. Noah would feel right at home.

Whether or not Pat Robertson is right to suspect the current catastrophe is linked to Satan worship, he’s right to say Haitians need to turn from it. Satan is real, and he is powerful. He gets his due, with interest, and that means disease, violence, natural disasters, poverty, and every other ill imaginable. In short, it means your life will probably be like life in Haiti. God wants people to turn away from Satan so he can protect and bless them, and every Christian should be proud to say so.

Jesus was not tolerant, in the modern, amoral sense of the word. He was forgiving. It’s not the same thing. He didn’t associate with sinners because what they were doing was okay. He associated with them because they needed him more than other people; he said that, himself. He never said, “Your sins are forgiven, and it’s okay if you keep sinning.” He said, “go and sin no more.” He would not have held hands with Buddha and Mohammed and said they were basically colleagues. The most likely thing is that he sent both of them to hell, along with millions of their dupes. He spoke about hell. It’s a real place. He made it clear that many people were headed there. He made it clear that he was the only ticket out. Tolerance was the furthest thing from his mind. He didn’t even tolerate Jews he thought were in error; why would anyone think he would have tolerated voodoo?

The real meaning of tolerance is that you put up with something. It doesn’t mean you endorse it. We have warped the meaning of the word to make it synonymous with approval.

We are told that if we don’t warn people about their error, their blood is on our heads. If that is true, how can it be wrong to criticize idolatry? Ignoring egregious, perilous sin is like refusing to tell someone you saw a melanoma on his back or a rattlesnake under his bed. It’s not “tolerant.” It’s selfish, lazy, and cowardly.

Christianity is an exclusive faith. It does not allow for the possibility that other faiths are anything but evil. The New Testament makes that clear, over and over. The notion that there are other ways to be saved is a hundred percent contrary to Christianity. People choose not to think about this, because it’s inconvenient and makes them unpopular, but it’s undeniable. They have the strange idea that Christianity can be modernized and improved by removing the exclusivity, but if you believe that, you believe Jesus himself was wrong. That makes you a very funny kind of Christian, at best.

People who tell the truth about God are always persecuted. Jesus told us to expect it. It’s normal. It’s evidence that they’re right. If your goal is to please God, you have to set aside your hopes of being popular. It’s not going to happen. You can’t have it both ways. Jeremiah was beaten and imprisoned. Jesus was crucified. Zechariah was murdered. Micaiah was jailed. Elijah was hunted like an animal. Noah’s neighbors reviled him. Nehemiah had to work with a sword in one hand, because his enemies were a constant threat. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were bound and thrown into a furnace. Mordecai and the Jews of ancient Persia were threatened with genocide for refusing to treat a man like an idol. Ten of the original disciples were martyred, as was the one who replaced Judas. Paul was martyred. Stephen was martyred. The Romans used Christians as torches. The Bible could almost be described as a collection of tales about religious persecution. The fact that we make people angry does not mean we’re wrong. If we did not make people angry from time to time, it would mean something was amiss.

This is not our world. It belongs to Satan, and we are foreign insurgents. Every Gideon Bible is like an IED. A Christian in this world is like a festering splinter in a person’s body. The world becomes inflamed and tries to expel us, and sometimes, it succeeds. It’s normal. Jesus told us we would be hated, and that the world had hated him first. Did he lie?

The same idea that drives voodoo drives the tolerance craze. Voodoo practitioners believe you can alloy Christianity with demon worship, and that by doing so, you get the benefits of both. The tolerance pushers think you can be a good Christian while condoning everything the non-Christian world approves of. It doesn’t work that way. You’re on one side of the fence or the other. You cannot reconcile Christianity with secular values. No way.

It’s no wonder the tolerance crowd is mad at Pat Robertson. He’s criticizing idolatry, and in their hearts, idolatry is what they want for themselves. They want to be worldly Christians, serving themselves and other gods and Jesus. You can’t do that. Read the First Commandment.

I regret the many things that I’ve done that amount to idolatry. I wish I had been warned about them earlier. I wish I were more aware of my current chronic errors, and I pray regularly for God to show them to me. I wish I had been raised in a real Christian home, so I would not have made so many mistakes. The Bible tells us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Add it all together, and the conclusion I draw is that it’s good to warn people when they make mistakes. It’s what I wish people had done for me. The psalms say “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a blessing. And let him reprove me: it shall be an excellent oil which shall not break my head.” There is nothing self-righteous about warning people, any more than pulling someone into a lifeboat is self-righteous. It’s what you do, when you care.

On a per capita basis, Christians will probably send more money to Hait–unconditionally–than any other group, with the possible exception of Jews. When the critics can match that performance, I’ll listen to their tolerance spiel.

No, not even then.

Nouveau Christianity Says “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

I can’t believe the responses I’m getting to my post about Pat Robertson, who pointed out that Haiti is cursed because of idolatry.

Curses on entire nations are as scriptural as the Ten Commandments. I can’t believe any Christian would say otherwise. I can think of a number of examples without opening a Bible.

1. Egypt was cursed because of the enslavement of the Jews. The nation endured ten plagues, including the slaying (by God) of all the firstborn males. Think about that. God himself killed young male children in Egypt, by the hundreds of thousands. God killed BABIES. Nice touchy-feely uber-tolerant liberal God, right?

2. God punished the Jews by allowing the Babylonians to blind the king, castrate his descendants, and take the cream of the population to Babylon in chains.

3. According to prophecy, God is going to punish the nations that divide Israel, and it’s not going to be a mild punishment. It’s going to involve death and unbearable suffering, on a grand scale.

If you want to suggest God doesn’t do these things any more, you’ll have to provide scripture. Prophecy says he is going to slaughter people IN PERSON, with the sword of his mouth. If he has changed, how can that be true? Prophecy is about the future.

I can’t believe people think God doesn’t punish sin. Do you want a list? Adam. Eve. Satan. Cain. Nebuchadnezzar. Ananias. Sapphira. The sons of Eli. Shiloh. Sodom. Gomorrah. Ahab. Jezebel. David. Absalom. Herod. Judas. How many do you want? Samson. Samson’s tormentors. Goliath. Go ahead; say “when.” Belshazzar. Everyone who lived before the flood, except Noah’s family. Pharaoh. Korah.

Look, this is ridiculous. It’s like arguing about whether Jesus was Jewish. I’m so obviously right, I shouldn’t have to point it out. Shut me up, and the Bible will still make it clear.

If it’s wrong to say someone is under a curse, then every evangelist should be silenced. Every time an evangelist tells someone to come to Christ, he is saying that person is under a curse. If you haven’t accepted Jesus, you are under a curse. That is the central issue of Christianity. If you don’t believe in curses, you are not a Christian, because you don’t believe anyone needs salvation.

If Pat Robertson says that, should we condemn him? It’s no different from what he said about Haiti. Caribbean idol worship is a great, great evil, and every Christian has an obligation to warn people when they’re in peril. How can any Christian argue with that?

I’ve said many times that I believed my family had been under a curse. Do you think I hate my family? I’ve said it about myself. Surely no one thinks I hate myself, or that I don’t want the best for myself.

Maybe idolatry isn’t the reason for the Haitian earthquake, but it is an invitation to disaster, and criticizing voodoo is a righteous act. Voodoo is evil, and it should be eradicated, and no Christian should be afraid to say so.

2,000 Years Later, his Followers are Still At It

I just saw the video of Pat Robertson saying Haiti was under a curse because Haitians had made a pact with the devil. Commenters on Drudgebart.tv were generally furious with him.

Someone explain this to me. I’m not sure Robertson has both oars in the water, but it is undeniably true that the prevailing religion in Haiti is demon worship, better known as voodoo. God exists. Satan exists. God is the good one. Satan is the bad one. What, exactly, is wrong with what Robertson said? I can understand atheists and voodoo practitioners getting upset, but what about ordinary Americans? Most of us claim to be Christians, and that means we believe in God and Satan.

Why do people think it’s an insult to say someone is under a curse? How is this different from saying a person has cancer or that he needs to have his brake lights fixed so he doesn’t have an accident? When people are in trouble, you speak up, don’t you? Isn’t that the kindest thing you can do?

I’m fairly sure the largest ethnic group at my church is made up of Haitians. I’ll bet none of them are mad at Pat Robertson today. They probably tell their relatives the same thing all the time, trying to help them get free. Christians have historically pumped gigantic amounts of money and manpower into Haiti, and they’re heavily involved in the current disaster response. You can’t say that about random Internet commenters who showed up today to bash Pat Robertson. He’s amassing donations and providing humanitarian aid. What are the commenters doing?

Mention Satan or sin, and get smacked down. Nothing new there. If anything, the venomous and irrational responses are evidence that Christians are right.

When did we stop believing in Satan and demons? It’s so sad. Most American Christians think Jesus was a really nice guy–probably gay–who preached unconditional love and was basically insane. In reality, he was a warrior who battled Satan and planted the seed that doomed his kingdom.

Mindless tolerance was not his message. There is a difference between forgiveness and tolerance. He condemned sin, and he condemned all religions other than his own. He would condemn voodoo and santeria and other forms of demon worship, in terms much stronger than those used by Pat Robertson.

Jesus talked about Satan day in and day out. He knew he was real. He had conversations with demons, including Satan himself. He cast them out of people who would be misdiagnosed as blind, deaf, and epileptic today. If Jesus were here in the flesh, the Drudgebart commenters would hate him as much as they hate Pat Robertson.

Link

World Vision is already on it. Click to donate.

Sometimes I think that if you want a glimpse of what life will be like in the Tribulation, you only have to go to a nation where demon worship or atheism prevail. Look at Burma and Haiti.

Made me Happy, Though

I know everyone thinks the space heater miracle is stupid, so I’ll make things worse.

Until February 12, I’ll be putting in an hour of prayer every day, in the middle of the afternoon. Today when I went in to get started, I noticed that MY NEW SPACE HEATER WAS NOT WORKING. I moved it to another outlet and fiddled with it. No dice.

I could have gone to the hardware store and held hostages until they got me a new heater, but I reminded myself that there is always a reward for doing the right thing, and I got down to prayer. Eventually, I got around to the heater. I prayed that I would be able to get it to work.

And before I finished praying, I heard a little sound like “ting,” and I turned the heater on, and it ran.

I’m not kidding. And it gets weirder. After a while, the heater started to go WAAAAHHHHWAHWAHWAH for some unknown reason, and since the prayer session was still underway, I prayed that I would be able to fix it. And while I was lying there, I reached over and moved it a little bit, and it quit making the noise.

By now I figured I could get anything I asked for. But I managed to restrain myself and ask for things my family and I actually needed and which I figured would please God. Otherwise I might be typing this from inside a Bentley, with Aisha Tyler in the passenger seat.

The heater made a little more noise later on, but I believe I have it figured out, and anyway, it works.

I thought it might be silly to tell this story, because there probably is such a thing as meaningless coincidence, but then I thought it would be worse to have a prayer answered and not give credit. We’re supposed to pray about little unimportant things as well as major items, so why shouldn’t God answer?

Dinner was excellent. I made a pizza with two thirds divine Costco mozzarella and one third extra sharp cheddar. I think 20% cheddar would be perfect, but this was very good. The cheddar threw off a little more fat than I really wanted, and it made the pie slightly more acidic than it should have been, but other than that, it was great. Reducing the amount should fix it. Making the cheese more acidic, by adding cheddar, may allow me to cut back on the vinegar in the sauce.

I can’t get over that amazing Costco cheese. I’ve used Grande, which has no bad points, but I honestly think Costco is better. I believe I paid $2.15 per pound. Grande is over four bucks per pound online, plus shipping. One of these days I’ll find a way to beat Stanislaus sauce with supermarket ingredients, and they’ll have to put me away to keep me from eating pizza nine times a day.

I think I’ve settled on a crust formula. I’m omitting the fat INSIDE the dough and applying oil OUTSIDE while it rises. That way, the crust doesn’t crack and tear while you toss it, but you don’t get the flavor of rancid oil. It seems like nearly all olive oil has a slightly rancid taste, which is exacerbated when you use it inside bread dough. Maybe I’m wrong.

The crust was much better than the last one I made. I used this:

1 cup bread flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 rounded teaspoon dry yeast
~4 ounces water

I ran it through the food processor earlier in the day, and then I oiled it and stuck it in a Pyrex dish in the fridge until I needed it. I think lowering the yeast from a tablespoon was a good move, and I think the time in the fridge did the dough some good. It tossed perfectly, except for a pinhole which was easily fixed. When you keep oil out of the dough, the bread flavor really comes through.

If you’re not putting pepper in your dough, you’re missing out. It doesn’t taste like pepper when you bake it. It tastes more like cherries. You have to try it to understand. I leave it out of garlic rolls, but it’s a must in pizza dough.

I cook so well these days I don’t really have much motivation to make anything new. I guess cooking is like that. There are only so many dishes a person wants to make well. It’s not like music, where you could write a new piece every day and never be satisfied.

I Can Hook You Up

I managed to get a space heater today. I can’t believe it.

Yesterday I was told nobody in Miami had space heaters. A tour of the local stores indicated this was true. Northern Tool, Costco, Best Buy, Target, KMart, Home Depot, Bed Bath & Beyond…no luck. I figured I would have to get used to a 65-degree bedroom.

I went to Costco today to get mozzarella, and on the way home, I prayed for success in finding a heater. I decided to run by the local mom-and-pop hardware store. I asked a stock boy if they had heaters, assuming he would say no. He said that if I went to the back register, they had about thirty of them.

THIRTY.

Apparently, I got there right after the delivery arrived. If I understood them correctly, they bought a pallet of heaters from the Home Shopping Network, and I happened to be on the scene before they disappeared. People were calling their relatives, asking if they needed heaters. Others were calling the store, bribing the workers to hold heaters for them. Incredible.

I called my dad to make sure he didn’t need one, and then I handed over my American Express and made the buy. I told them I felt like I was buying crack. I had to go to the parking lot and get a box off the pallet; they weren’t even in the store yet.

So much for reverse-cycle air conditioning. It’s better than nothing, but not much better.

Does God answer prayers about things like space heaters? I got my heater. You decide.

No; That Would be Crazy

This week at my prayer group’s Saturday meeting, I learned that our leader had suggested we keep journals. This is pretty funny, in my case. I’ve been blogging since late 2002. If you bound my Internet writing, it would be thousands of pages.

Nonetheless, it makes sense to keep a private journal. I would have a lot more freedom.

He said we should write down three goals every day. One for our church and two for other reasons which I forget. Because I didn’t write them down. Couldn’t find my pen, which was jammed down in the corner of the pocket of my George Bush chore coat. I have to email him and get him to repeat it.

Lists are great. You get things done when you make lists, provided you make an effort to do the things you write down. Three goals…that’s a list.

Back when I was Piano-Obsession Man, at the end of every day, as I lay in bed, I listed the musical accomplishments I had achieved that day. It was a great way to maintain motivation. Unfortunately, I eventually realized I could not remember piano pieces the way I used to remember pieces for guitar, banjo, and mandolin. I quit playing. It seemed pointless. Learn a piece, learn another piece, and forget the first piece, because I wasn’t practicing it. I had a two-tune repertoire because I couldn’t hold the pieces in my mind. I figured it was senility.

A while back, my second cousin (married to one of the finest classical trombonists) suggested I learn to sight-read, in order to compensate for the memory problems. Recently, I decided to give it a shot. I’m making progress. I think this is one of the things I could write about in the journal. It would be nice to be able to compare one week’s entries to those of an earlier week. I feel like I’m getting nowhere, but I know that’s because I haven’t documented the improvements.

Practice is strange. It breaks down into note reading and timing practice. Note practice is extremely tedious. I’m just figuring out which key to hit. I have to be at a keyboard for this, because I have to move my hands around. Timing practice is very different. I just have to hit one note, over and over, at the correct times. I don’t really need an instrument to do it. If I were pressed, I could do it in my head, holding the book in front of me while sitting in a chair.

Timing practice is less tedious, because the beat pulls me through it. I think it’s also the most important part of the venture. Timing is extremely complicated, and you have to be able to do it instantaneously. Notes…there are only nine on a staff. Surely note reading has to come together faster.

Today I realized I can now imagine musical measures in my head and hear the timing. Very odd. Maybe I can eventually practice my timing without piano or music. My head will be like the Matrix. More than it already is.

I have to figure out how to keep a journal in Microsoft Word, without losing my mind. Imagine keeping track of 365 documents per year.

Beware of Imitations

This weather is cracking me up. People like me are only now finding out whether the 3s in the tens columns on their digital thermometers will display. Last night on the way home from church, my truck’s gauge read 39. The last time it read below 40, it was probably being driven onto a truck at the plant where it was manufactured.

I feel great this morning. The illness is lifting. I can breathe. And I probably slept ten hours, which doesn’t hurt. Viruses affect your brain chemistry. I’m sure of it. Sometimes I get depressed or tense when I have a virus. When they go away, you get a natural lift. Your normal state returns, and it seems like euphoria.

I was able to go to church last night. On the way, I started feeling God’s presence again, the way I did before I got sick. I felt him moving during the service and afterward, too. Man, I missed that. What an incredible gift. It amazes me that God saw fit to let me have that, because what I deserved was to be abandoned.

These days I spend half an hour praying in the Spirit before I get out of bed, and I have to admit, I sometimes turn on the tube for a few minutes while I’m doing it. Today I saw a popular preacher in a giant stadium, preaching about self-love. He said you should never insult yourself, because to do so is to insult God’s creation. You know the spiel.

I don’t disagree with messages involving positive thinking and behavioral change. My own pastor talks about these things a lot. But I wouldn’t stay in a church where that was the main thrust. It’s not what Christianity is about, and we aren’t the people to go to for this kind of instruction. Frankly, the Scientologists are probably the masters of positive thinking. If that’s all you want, go to the best.

As for self-love…I am not a fan. We now know that men in prison tend to have very high self-esteem. What does that tell you? It tells you self-esteem is not where growth comes from. In fact, it can prevent growth and cause you to become more evil. If you think you’re just dandy the second you pop out of the womb, why would you want to change?

Look at the Bible. Do we see example after example of God telling people, “Hey, stop beating yourself up. You’re WONDERFUL, just the way you are!” Of course not. Over and over, he knocks people to the ground and tells them to remember their place. Job. Paul. Various kings. Nebuchadnezzar. How long a list do you want? What was the first sin? Eating a piece of fruit? No, it was pride. Inappropriate self-love. Satan committed it.

If you’re a person with good values and good intentions, low self-esteem can be an obstacle. You should not hate yourself. You should not be crippled by the projection of your own self-loathing onto other people. But a certain amount of shame is essential. It’s the warning mechanism God built into your soul’s immune system. It tells you something is wrong. It brings people to altars. It causes us to change course when we’re headed for trouble. It keeps people humble.

The Bible makes it clear, and Christians teach, that God works best though humble people who seek his help constantly and give him credit. Moses and Jesus were humble, and God repeatedly reminds us that he is humble. What better role model could you want? How can anyone question the wisdom of aspiring to have a character trait possessed by God himself? If criticizing yourself is criticizing God’s work, criticizing humility is criticizing God.

What is humility? It’s an attitudinal expression of the knowledge that you are not perfect. What does “perfect” really mean? It didn’t originally mean “flawless.” It meant “complete” or “finished.” If you know you’re not a finished work, you will continue improving yourself. Isn’t that what we’re here for?

Paul had problems with pride, so what did God do? He allowed Paul to have an unpleasant disease (or some other painful problem) Paul referred to as a thorn in his flesh. I don’t enjoy being chastised with misfortune. If I can avoid it by criticizing myself and changing, I will do so, every time. With deep gratitude. I think I’ve been hammered and hindered for crediting myself too much. I don’t want that to continue until I’m 80, because I’m too thick-headed to get the message.

The self-love message is just one example of worldly thinking which can be useful, but which should not be part of Christianity’s primary emphasis. You don’t have to be a Christian to learn worldly wisdom. A Buddhist or a Mormon can teach you about discipline, organization, exercise, eating right…all the worldly wisdom you can imagine. Only a Christian can show you how to humble yourself, obtain eternal life, and receive the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. Those are the important things. This is a supernatural faith. The changes God makes in us are, essentially, magical. We have to learn worldly wisdom, too, but it can’t come first. It can’t save you, any more than your own righteousness can get you into heaven.

The Bible tells us we receive power when we are baptized with the Holy Spirit. It says the Holy Spirit does two things for us. It changes our character by giving us the fruit of the Spirit. It changes our abilities by giving us the gifts of the Spirit. These are the things that make us like God. These are the things that make us powerful. This is what Jesus died for. He himself said it was better that he should die, so we could receive this. This is more important than looking in the mirror every day and giving yourself a Stuart Smalley talk. Positive thinking is a human effort. The power of the Holy Spirit is the work of God, in you. It’s better. That’s all there is to it.

This is what “grace” means. It means we receive things directly from God, and that they are things we can’t and don’t deserve. Salvation is the first gift. Then the other stuff comes along, if you know how to receive it.

Grace is the reason I’m not doomed to be a fat person any more. I was instantly delivered from overeating. It wasn’t even on my mind when it happened. God made the decision, and it happened without warning. Other people have been delivered from drug addiction, anger, covetousness…you name it. And it happens supernaturally; it’s not the result of hard work. If God took this deliverance away from me, I’d be as fat as ever in two months.

I think what happened to me may be an example of the fruit of the Spirit. One of the fruit is self-discipline. When it came to food, I never had any. Or at least I didn’t have enough. I always gave out after a certain amount of time, and then the fat came back. Now it just stays off. I picked up a couple of pounds while I was ill, because I was inactive and I spoiled myself and I had two holiday meals. But that weight is gone, as of today. I have a closetful of smaller pants I expect to be wearing in March.

The other day, reader Ed sent me a testimony from Norm Miller, the Chairman of the Board of Interstate Batteries. This man is an alcoholic. One morning, after he had been an alcoholic for a long time, he realized he needed God’s help. Here’s an excerpt:

At the very instant I realized I had become an alcoholic, I blurted out in a half-yell of desperation, “God, help me! I can’t handle it!” I’ll never forget those words, because He took the compulsion to drink away completely. It was over right then. I realize it doesn’t happen that way for everyone, but it did for me, and I’m eternally thankful. The weird thing is that if you’d asked me the day before if I believed in God, I would have told you that I didn’t know—that I hadn’t given much thought to it.

It’s wonderful if you can complete a 12-step program and force yourself to stay clean until you die. But what Norm Miller got is better, and he’s not the only one. This is what God wants us to have. It beats being a drunk with lots of self-esteem.

Worldly people have no faith in their ability to improve, so often, their answer is to tell you that you should be happy as you are. Fat is beautiful! Homosexuality is diversity! Having your genitals hacked off because of sexual confusion is a glorious breakthrough! A little screaming in a marriage is healthy! Falling off the wagon twice a year and losing your job is no big deal!

That’s no way to live. Never accept defeat. Don’t call surrender victory. If God is God, there is a way out, and it’s not something you achieve by trying hard. Look at the people Jesus healed. Did he tell the lady with the issue of blood to try real hard to stop bleeding? Did he tell the dead girl he raised she could get up if she just believed in herself? Please. Elijah didn’t incinerate any bulls, and Moses didn’t part the Red Sea. God did. When things are as they should be, God does the work.

I’m not saying you’ll overcome every problem you have (or that you won’t). But God’s supernatural power is for everyone. We are supposed to have it and use it. It will allow you to beat things you could never handle on your own.

I don’t need to go to church to hear about self-love and positive thinking. I can get that from any bookstore. It’s great stuff. But it’s not what Jesus died for. It’s not God’s great gift. It’s not the pearl of great price.

More and more, I feel myself changing. I see old problems melting away. The overeating thing happened instantly. Other things improve slowly but steadily. I could think positive all day and never have this happen to me. I knew all about positive thinking fifteen years ago. I can tell you which books work. Only God was able to put me on a permanent positive trend. The other stuff was like Band-Aids for hemophilia.

I’ll point out one other thing. God gives you favor, and he fights your supernatural and natural enemies. Will Scientology do that? Will Tony Robbins do that? Of course not. These things happen outside of you; changing your attitude has no effect on them. You need supernatural beings out there working to change things. God supplies them. He sent ravens to feed Elijah. Think positive right now and see how many ravens you can conjure up. He sent an army of angels to fight on David’s side. Tell yourself you’re beautiful and successful for a while, and see how many angels show up to kill your enemies. Probably not many.

Pray in the Spirit, pray with your understanding, fast, and walk by faith. That’s where the power is at. This other stuff has fleeting value. If you put your faith in it, it will only misdirect you and slow you down.

I Venture Outdoors

My viral symptoms have decreased greatly. Last night I got all excited and texted the leader of my Saturday prayer group, saying I would be there if it didn’t rain. Then I got up this morning, and it was about 50 degrees out and drizzling. This never happens in Miami. We get rain. We get cold weather. We get them three months apart. We don’t get them on the same day.

I considered the prospect of having a relapse and having to lie around doing nothing for another week. Then I thought about the prospect of missing another prayer group. And I pictured myself all bundled up in the spacious, toasty cab of my giant diesel pickup. And I got my fat behind in the shower and got ready to leave.

Two missed meetings are enough. I can’t sit around for another week, missing out. I had to take the chance.

I could not believe the experience I had driving to Hallandale and back (that’s where we meet). On the way up, the truck’s exterior temperature gauge read 44. On the way down, it sunk to 41! Am I on Mars, or what? This can’t happen here.

I don’t care. It was well worth it. Seven of us met at Denny’s, and we talked about our goals and testimonies, and we all got on the same page. I needed that. If all you do is sit in a service for 90 minutes a week, you’re barely getting a toe in the water. The fight is on, all day, every day. Your enemy doesn’t take time off. You need all the support you can get.

Appropriately, we talked about warfare today. That’s what Christian life is. We often make that comparison, saying we are like soldiers and that our lives are like war. But that’s backward. Earthly soldiers are like Christians and angels and demons. Earthly war is like the battle in the heavens. The real war–the first war–is the one that started when Lucifer rebelled. All the wars we’ve seen here are pale imitations. We mistake the copies for the original. The spiritual war is more important. The stakes are higher. The injuries are greater. And only the spiritual war can cause death. Earthly war can kill your body, but spiritual war can cause the permanent destruction of your soul. That’s the only true death there is.

Our group leader, John, went back to something he discussed with us three weeks ago. He had a book called A Warrior Culture, by Donny Prater. In that book, Prater compares Satan to a lion, and he describes the way lions hunt. They carefully evaluate their prey so they can focus on the weakest individuals. They stalk the chosen victims patiently, for hours. They gang up. And the best defense is unity.

I thought that was interesting, because it reminded me of the things I’ve read about snipers. The greatest American sniper was a man named Carlos Hathcock, and I read his biography. I learned that snipers like to wound careless, exposed people from cover and then leave them alive, screaming in pain. Why? So their buddies will come out from concealment in order to save them. Then the sniper shoots them as well. That way, he can turn one wounded soldier into a pile of bodies.

This kind of thing is happening in my family. One person is more vulnerable than the others, so that person is the primary object of attack. The enemy is able to make that person behave in ways that are extremely exasperating. What happens when a family is attacked in this way? It can give rise to unforgiveness and anger in the other family members. It may make them question God, because it seems as if he’s not helping. It may make them drink or take drugs to relieve the stress. It makes it a challenge to focus on compassion. It’s Satan’s way of jimmying their temple doors open, so he can attack them with the same force. He wounds one of us, and he uses that person to snare the rest of us.

It’s an interesting strategy, and it’s not always easy to know what to do. Jesus himself told the disciples that if the people of a town would not listen to them, they were to shake that town’s dust off their shoes and leave. Paul abandoned a perverted Christian to the destruction of the flesh, that his suffering might turn him back to God. Longsuffering–even God’s–has limits. On the other hand, you have to be sure you show enough patience and understanding. It’s wrong to turn to harsh tactics too early. It can be self-righteous and judgmental.

I suppose the test is to examine your intentions and the likely outcome of your actions. If they pass inspection, you must be doing the right thing.

Christians aren’t the only ones who have to perform this balancing act. Over and over, both testaments refer simultaneously to mercy and judgment. God is just, and God is merciful. At the same time. He can do that without error or contradiction, but I know I make mistakes. I wish I were smart enough to know when I’m going too far in either direction.

Satan always has a trite response, if you screw up. If you’re too soft, you’re condemned as an enabler. If you’re too hard, you’re selfish and uncaring. Funny thing about Satan: unlike God, he’s pretty predictable. He’s not as smart as God, he does not know the future, and he’s always playing catch-up. He uses the same worn-out tricks, over and over. God, on the other hand, has an endless well of new ideas to trip him up and make a fool of him. God gave us the last book of the Bible about two millennia ago, and thanks to his brilliance and the revelation power of the Holy Spirit, we are still finding new truths in it, catching Satan flatfooted. He never knows where the next punch is coming from.

This is why prophecy is so hard to understand. It’s not to keep men in the dark. It’s to humiliate the enemy and prove God’s sovereignty. The truth is in front of Satan and has been for ages, and he can’t discern it, but a ten-year-old kid full of the Holy Spirit can see it when God is ready to let it be known. Look at the second psalm. It lays out the plan of the crucifixion, but Satan wasn’t bright enough to figure it out. When he got Jesus cruficied, he thought he had won, but he was actually shooting himself in the belly! He destroyed his own kingdom on that day, and he gloated while he was doing it. He’s very smart, but his intelligence is limited.

It’s a mistake to underestimate Satan, but it’s a mistake to overestimate him, too. Most of the time, there is no subtext to what he’s doing, and defeating him is generally not that hard. His tactics become more and more foreseeable as you grow; you improve, but he does not. He can’t grow. He can’t adapt. His nature was fixed before the earth existed. The numbers and powers of his army were fixed. The numbers and power of God’s people will increase until the end of creation. No wonder he hates us. His development is over. His time has an end. We will improve and grow stronger forever.

Sometimes he wins a battle in spite of everything you do. But far more often, he loses. Maybe that’s because his resources are limited. If he had an unlimited supply of extremely powerful spirits to pit against us, maybe it would be a different story. As it stands, it appears that he has to allot them carefully, because we win many, many battles.

One of the things I pray for is that God will use me and my family to break Satan’s heart the way he breaks the hearts of human beings. I want to be used to blight Satan’s crops and crush his plans. I even want the church to have better music than the secular world, because music was Satan’s special gift. I want him to see himself forgotten and outdone and frustrated, before we assemble to watch him burn. He already hates me. I’m sure he’s doing all he can to destroy me and my family. I want to return the favor while I live. If you want to make a malicious person hurt, you just have to prevent him from doing harm. If I can hinder Satan the way he hinders human beings, I will consider my life well spent.