The Non-Gospel of John
January 5th, 2010Salvation Through the Side Door
Day 12 of the mystery illness portends to be the beginning of an uptrend. I don’t feel as weak as I did yesterday, and I can breathe nearly normally, and the things that go on in my sinuses are considerably less frightening.
I went back to the doctor yesterday because I wanted to be totally sure I didn’t have strep throat. He said he did not think I had strep, and he essentially told me to go home and man up.
This is what I get for buying health insurance. Before I had it, I used to avoid doctors, because I never knew what a visit would cost. I figured it was better to die suddenly with money than to he healthy and broke. Now that I’m shelling out tons of cash every month and my expenses have a ceiling, I feel obligated to go in whenever I have a problem. A forty-dollar copay…that’s cheaper than dinner and a movie. It’s not just medical care. It’s affordable light entertainment.
I found out the doctor isn’t an MD. He’s a DO, which means “Doctor of Osteopathy.” I had to look that up. I was afraid I had wasted my money on a glorified chiropractor. I have no respect for chiropractors. Any medical school you can complete in six months has to be a con job.
It turns out osteopaths are real doctors. They’re just weird. I guess he can handle swollen tonsils. If I get a brain tumor, I’ll probably want a specialist.
This morning I’m reading up on John Hagee, the popular televangelist. He has a strange theory that Jews can go to heaven without accepting Jesus. Many Christian authorities, notably Jesus, disagree. I’ve been trying to find out what Hagee’s reasoning is without actually buying one of his books, but most of the sites I’ve found spend more time reviling and insulting Hagee than explaining his odd new doctrine.
Hell exists, and you can only avoid it by accepting salvation. When it comes to hell, that’s about all I’m sure of. The Bible describes hell as eternal, but it’s not clear to me whether that means hell will exist for eternity or that unbelievers will be tormented for eternity. The Jews don’t believe in eternal punishment because it seems wasteful. On top of that, eternity is a really long time, so no matter how evil you are, you would eventually suffer infinity times the amount of suffering you caused, which certainly seems unfair. After a trillion years on the rotisserie, even Stalin would have a legitimate gripe. After a trillion trillion to the trillion-trillionth power years, well, it would be even worse.
The Bible says Satan and his bunch will be incinerated in the Lake of Fire. I have no problem with that. These guys are really evil, and I their unsuitability for rehabilitation is pretty obvious, and incineration is humane and fleeting, compared to the misery they’ve caused. And no one will miss them; it will be a great relief to see them burn. I also have no problem with the permanent destruction of incorrigible human beings; there is no point in keeping them around. But eternal torment? Seems inconsistent with the nature of God.
I don’t claim it doesn’t exist. Scripture seems to suggest it does (although it isn’t as clear as people claim). But I would not be surprised to learn that it does not.
Whatever hell is like, I know it exists, and the New Testament is not ambiguous about the only means of avoiding it. If you accept Christianity as valid, it makes no sense to say some people don’t need Jesus. Christianity is exclusive in its nature. Certain exceptions are obvious: people who have never heard of Jesus, people who are disabled and incapable of understanding the Gospel, people who died before they could make a decision, people who died before Jesus was crucified…you can’t very well expect these people to be held to the same standard as everyone else. But people who knowingly reject Jesus are in trouble.
I’ve read silly claims that everyone who ever lived has somehow been made aware of Jesus. That’s just idiotic. Some Christians claim that even if you were born in a rain forest and never met a Westerner, God has somehow made it clear to you, deep in your heart, that you need Jesus. So if you don’t accept him, you go to hell. Please. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s facially stupid; there should be no need to explain why it’s wrong. If it were true, there would be no need for missionaries. They’d show up in the jungle, and the natives would say, “We already know about that guy, but we still want the mirrors and beads.” In fact, they’d be sending missionaries to us. That doesn’t happen. There are a few weird stories about remote people having strange revelations, but the general rule is, unless a missionary shows up, no one has a clue. It’s amazing that myths this stupid ever gain credence among people who can read and write. This is one of the outrageous beliefs that make Christians seem dumb. It is not helpful.
The Apostle Paul was flogged repeatedly and also stoned because he insisted on preaching to Jews. And it wasn’t his idea; he wanted to preach to heathens. God sent him to the Jews. If they didn’t need the message, what was the point? God moves in strange and mysterious ways, but he isn’t crazy.
I don’t know what John Hagee is thinking. It’s bizarre for a prominent Christian to make a claim that contradicts the most fundamental and essential tenet of Christianity. If he had said Mary wasn’t a virgin, it would not be a big deal. If he had said there was no rapture, it could be overlooked. The Bible doesn’t say you have to believe in Mary’s virginity or the rapture to be saved. But forgiveness after rejecting the Gospel? No; that won’t work.
Hagee is affiliated with Larry Huch, author of The Torah Blessing. I wrote about this book a while back. It’s pure Judaizing and legalism. Huch says we’re supposed to worship on Saturday (unlike the early church under the Apostles) and that we have to wear prayer shawls and light sabbath candles. These guys are both wrong, and badly so, and you don’t have to be a scholar to know it. The scriptures themselves make it clear.
It’s funny; Huch wants us to do too much, and Hagee would ask Jews to do too little. There’s plenty of error for everyone. Pick the path you like best.
I have much more respect for a rational Orthodox Jew than a Christian who blatantly contradicts his own faith.
How can error this obvious still be a problem in 2010? I guess that’s a dumb question, given that Mormonism and the Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Scientologists are thriving. Human beings can swallow absolutely any story. It’s tempting to think of people as rational–as though they had a baseline level of common sense–but they don’t. Remember Jonestown? Actually, you don’t have to look that far back. Just think about the people who believed the real estate bubble was going to last forever. You could disprove it in fifteen seconds with sixth-grade math, but executives at big investing firms still invested their careers in it.
Here’s another question: how can Christians still support John Hagee? Sure, the rest of his stuff may be great, but that little thing about denying the core belief of all Christians…isn’t that problematic? When a preacher says you can go to heaven WITHOUT Jesus, shouldn’t a little bell go off in your head? Isn’t that pretty much the one thing no preacher should ever say?
I’d love to believe it. I’d also love to find out that fornication and gay sex were acceptable, so I could approve of everything other people do, and I’d love to know that God will bless me no matter what I do. But I don’t make the rules. I want everyone to be happy and healthy and rich and have washboard abs and a weekly orgy and a Ferrari, but I’m not in charge. Near as I can tell, it’s Jesus’s way or the highway.
January 5th, 2010 at 1:50 PM
Regarding the rejection of teaching: a preacher I trust once said, “I’m not going to Hell for any of you.”
Keep up the good work!
January 5th, 2010 at 2:29 PM
One of my sisters, I have four, mentioned to me that on judgment days Jews will be given a second chance to accept Christ. I don’t remember reading that anywhere. Perhaps one of your readers will know what she was talking about. I didn’t pursue it, three of my sisters are extreme fundamentalist the rest of us (2) aren’t what I would call extreme, but…… Anyway I didn’t want to get into a theological discussion unarmed with someone who was armed, so I didn’t. I love my sisters, I just am not exactly like them even though one is my identical twin. Love overcometh all things.
January 5th, 2010 at 3:41 PM
You said “Human beings can swallow absolutely any story. It’s tempting to think of people as rational–as though they had a baseline level of common sense–but they don’t.”
I dare say that members of virtually all religions look at the stories of all other religions and feel the same way about their adherents. This would include how Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Atheists, Wiccans, and all non-Christians look upon Christians.
If we don’t think it appropriate for them to speak of us in such terms, perhaps we shouldn’t do it to them. You know, Golden Rule and all that.
January 5th, 2010 at 4:13 PM
The Golden Rule does not direct us to be enablers. Love and being nice are two different things.
January 5th, 2010 at 5:45 PM
Love and being nice are two different things
Should probably embroider that and put it on pillows or something.
January 5th, 2010 at 5:51 PM
Steve – I struggle with this issue as to the Jews.
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Jesus is the one way to heaven – check, I agree.
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Moses & David & Daniel & Elijah (and several other old prophets) are supposed to be in heaven, aren’t they? But they were before Jesus’ time – how did they get there? Could they get there through Jesus without explicitly knowing Jesus as Jesus?
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I have real trouble reconiciling these in my mind.
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It would make my spiritual life much easier if God gave us free reign in the sexual realm. Alas, no such luck.
January 5th, 2010 at 8:23 PM
km,
Sometimes when it comes to these discussions we must remember it is by grace, I think God’s grace didn’t wait for Jesus. But Jesus was his grace, there are just some things we will never know or understand in this life.
January 5th, 2010 at 8:28 PM
I don’t know any Christians who would even think of challenging the notion that pre-crucifixion Jews covered by temple sacrifices went to heaven. If they didn’t, what was the point of their existence? Why the law? Why the sacrifices?
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Heaven without Moses? Not even conceivable. And Enoch and Elijah went there directly, without dying first.
January 5th, 2010 at 10:09 PM
Actually, the Jews prior to Jesus’ time believed in the Messiah. They had plenty of prophecies of him and are still awaiting His arrival.
Unfortunately, it’s easy for people to not see the Messiah (or, as the scriptures tell us, even prophets) for what He is. Therefore, most of the Jews at the time did not acknowledge Jesus as the Messiah. Which was actually necessary, or else they never would have crucified Him. Then where would we be?
I just don’t see it as being very Christian to call people irrational because of their religious beliefs, when non-Christians can point at Christians and declare them to be irrational because of what they believe. After all, how rational is it to believe in someone that walked on water or healed all manner of diseases and even brought the dead back to life? Is it rational to think that this same person was able to accept responsibility for the sins of billions of people and then bring himself back to life after being crucified?
From an intellectual standpoint, Christianity is a lot more irrational than many other religions. If you can accept what is in the Bible, you would be hypocritical to think that other people are gullible for falling for their own religious beliefs.
As I understand the beliefs of the Catholic church, this post says that it’s obvious that what they believe about where people end up if they die having never heard of Jesus is wrong, and yet it doesn’t call Catholics gullible or irrational.
Rationalize it as not enabling people or whatever else you want, but the reality is that virtually everyone does not want people calling them gullible or irrational for their religious beliefs, so the Golden Rule does apply here- do not do unto others that which you would not want done unto yourself.
January 6th, 2010 at 10:04 AM
“Actually, the Jews prior to Jesus’ time believed in the Messiah. They had plenty of prophecies of him and are still awaiting His arrival.”
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I never said otherwise, so this comment is a non sequitur.
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“Unfortunately, it’s easy for people to not see the Messiah (or, as the scriptures tell us, even prophets) for what He is. Therefore, most of the Jews at the time did not acknowledge Jesus as the Messiah. Which was actually necessary, or else they never would have crucified Him. Then where would we be?
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Again, non sequitur.”
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“I just don’t see it as being very Christian to call people irrational because of their religious beliefs”
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I don’t call people irrational “because of their religious beliefs,” which is a vague and misleading phrase. I call people irrational for many reasons, and one is that many have religious beliefs that are patently absurd. Christian beliefs are much more reasonable than Mormonism (black people are black because they’re sinful and will eventually turn white when they change, Jesus and Satan are brothers and they came from another planet, Joseph Smith’s ridiculous Book of Abraham–a proven fraud–doesn’t reflect on his credibility, etc.) or Scientology (the world is full of tormented souls sent here on DC-8 aircraft by an alien warlord).
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“If you can accept what is in the Bible, you would be hypocritical to think that other people are gullible for falling for their own religious beliefs.”
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Easily said, but completely untrue. Many people have come to faith because they tried to disprove the Bible and found it to be supported by evidence and their own experience. True Christian faith is not based on wild guesses or assumptions. Jesus said he would manifest himself to believers, and he does.
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“the Golden Rule does apply here- do not do unto others that which you would not want done unto yourself.”
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The Golden Rule does apply, but you don’t understand it. You think being nice is good, but that’s not what Jesus preached. If you truly care for someone, you tell them the truth, not that which comforts them. This is the man who called certain Pharisees “whitewashed tombs.” You would call that a violation of the Golden Rule, by the infallible person who created it. What about “blind guides who strain at a gnat and swallow a camel”? What about “the synagogue of Satan”? John the Baptist called some of his fellow Jews “snakes.” Peter killed a man for lying to the Holy Spirit. You really need to read the gospels.
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Time to move on.
January 6th, 2010 at 4:56 PM
It appears that there were two different places for B.C. Jews to go upon death. A place of torment or Abraham’s Bosom (paradise).
This is illustrated in the story of the rich man and Lazarus (not a parable). When Jesus died, he went to Paradise (He told the thief he would), and announced Himself. Whoever accepted Him left with Him.
January 7th, 2010 at 1:06 PM
My remarks about Jews prior to Jesus believing in Him was a response to km’s comment. Steve, I’m sorry if you thought it was a reference to something you said. I’ll try to be clearer next time.
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You said “If you truly care for someone, you tell them the truth, not that which comforts them.”
January 7th, 2010 at 2:01 PM
I also said “Time to move on,” which is why I truncated your comment without reading it.
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Please respect my comment policy. I have explained it many times. This is a hobby blog, not a public forum where everyone gets to argue until they get tired.
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You may respond if you wish, but your response will be deleted.