90%
January 2nd, 2010Must be the Hash Browns
I feel wonderful today, but I can’t figure out why. Is it because I’m getting over the virus that has slowed me down for a week? Is it one of those mysterious Christian things? Or is it the fact that I just had a MAGNIFICENT MCDONALD’S BREAKFAST WITH REAL COFFEE INSTEAD OF DECAF????
Cynics will move directly to the third option.
This virus is extremely odd. It makes one part of my body sick. Then that part of my body gets well. Then another part gets sick. It’s as if every part of my body has to develop its own resistance. I know that makes no sense. It started out in the upper part of my throat, and then that went away, and night before last, it went to the lower part of my throat. Now that’s breaking loose. It spent some time in my nose and sinuses, too. Where will it go next?
When I was in law school I had a bug like this, and when it got done with the rest of me, it made stuff come out of my eyes. I mean, come on. Give up, already. You lost. Get out. This is starting to seem like pettiness.
When I was a kid, my mother passed on a helpful tip from my great-grandmother. Her remedy for colds and the flu was to wrap up in quilts and sit by the fireplace, roasting her feet. I think this probably works, although I have dismissed other old Kentucky remedies, such as drinking sheep manure tea to make chickenpox pustules break. For several days, upon waking up, I’ve been cranking up the heat in the electric mattress pad and lying there until I get uncomfortably warm. Seems to make for a much better day. This is as close as I can get to roasting my feet by a fireplace. Maybe I could roast my feet by the plasma cutter.
I feel better today, but the improvement is mostly emotional, not physical. My symptoms have improved a lot, but I would not call myself well.
Whatever it is, I’ll take it. It’s better to feel happy than well.
I have to get off my butt and go to church today. I missed all sorts of stuff this week. I could have spent two days looking after a big-time Christian musical act while they visited the church. That would have been great. I missed the New Year’s services. I missed my prayer group this morning; I wanted to go, but it was 50° outside, and I was afraid I would be inviting a relapse by getting up too early and driving to Hallandale with wet hair. And I figured I’d give the bug to the other guys in the group, as well as the nice waitress who takes care of us. Then she’d be dead, and we’d be banned from Denny’s.
I considered going to the doctor today just to make sure what’s happening to me is normal and harmless. Then I remembered something. I saw a mezuzah in his office. Do I really want to see a Jewish doctor on Saturday? Wouldn’t I be contributing to the delinquency of a backslider, or something? The last time I saw him, it was on Saturday, and I didn’t even think about this.
I want to DO something today. I wonder how active I can be without inviting death. I could put the VFD on my drill press. I could try to fix the questionable ergonomics in the garage. Sooner or later, I am going to have to bite the bullet and part with my workbench. I have to get a dust collector, and I don’t need the bench any more, because my table saw provides me with, like, thirty square feet of horizontal surface.
AUUUGHHH I feel liquid running down inside my ear! Is this the virus’s latest attack?
Wait. It’s water from the shower.
Never mind.
January 2nd, 2010 at 1:19 PM
Typing in the shower is safe? Does the water hurt the keyboard? /snark off
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I understand infections traveling. Mine starts in the sinuses, then throat, then three weeks to get it out of my chest. Miserable.
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Get well soon.
January 2nd, 2010 at 2:08 PM
An old granny remedy that has been proven correct by science is the one that says if you keep a baby’s head and feet warm they will not have colic, or at least be healthier. This has been proven to be very helpful, go to a hospital nursery now and they all have their heads covered in little caps and are swaddled. It works with the elderly also, but you don’t see them with caps as often. So probably it works with the people suffering symptoms of cold, flu and other problems. Hope the coffee has helped make you all better.
January 2nd, 2010 at 5:28 PM
When I feel lousy, I wear my old wool watch cap and socks, even to bed. It really helps. That and I slug down as much orange juice as I can. (I love orange juice and I’ll use any excuse to get some.)
Anyway, get well.
Gerry N.
January 2nd, 2010 at 7:21 PM
Viruses can be strange. One time I wound up in the emergency room after throwing up everything I’d eaten for, best I could tell, two days and winding up so sweaty and disoriented I couldn’t even sit up straight.
Next day, aside from being dehydrated, I was fine. Best the doctor could come up with was a stomach virus going around that made everyone else feel ratty for two or three days apparently took it all out on me in a few hours.
January 3rd, 2010 at 9:46 AM
Be careful about viruses that run from one place to another. I had one that eventually ended up in my Pericardial Lining (around my heart). It inflamed the lining and gave me all the pain and symptoms of a heart attack and put me in the hospital for 4 days.
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Have a doctor check it out…something like Tamiflu may be able to cut it short.
January 3rd, 2010 at 10:51 AM
well, viruses CAN be “helpful” – about 1990 or so, I came down with a terrible flu. I could not eat, could barely drink anything, was very dizzy, had aches, pains-the works. All I did for three days was sleep, go to the bathroom occasionally and drink a bit of water. Oh, I DID manage to go out to the coffee table to smoke a cigarette every few hours or so. By the end of the tree days, I had managed to kick a 2+ pack a day habit. I have not had a cigarette since. Somehow that flu managed to purge that nicotine addiction out of my system.
January 3rd, 2010 at 11:24 PM
So those flu shots really worked out great, huh?!
I got this in early December (you’ll likely recall that, because you made a snide comment about me not getting a flu shot), and it seems a lot like what you’re recovering from now. Basically took two weeks. You’re never terribly miserable, just miserable enough. And when you think you are well again, it comes back for a few more days. Sweating it out, homemade chicken soup and lots of sleep worked for me.
Hope you feel better soon, and happy new year!
January 4th, 2010 at 8:48 AM
Not sure how or why it works, but slather some Vick’s rub on your feet and then put some socks on before going to bed. It really does help with colds and such.
January 4th, 2010 at 1:24 PM
“So those flu shots really worked out great, huh?!”
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Actually, they did. I don’t have the flu. The symptoms are different.
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I had to get both flu shots because my sister has cancer.