Blogging Skills are Actually Useful on Rare Occasions

I contacted my church to see if they needed help during the Haiti crisis. BIG mistake. Now I’m cranking out copy for their website and trying to help them get a blog going. The PR lady at the church says she has been sleeping two hours a night. They’re going to be doing a lot of work, partnering with charities, TBN, and ministries.

Not sure why they didn’t call me instead of waiting, but there it is.

Hope I can be of use.

100%!

Thought I would remind people of another fine Haitian charity. Mercy & Sharing passes 100% of donations on to the needy. This is the charity started by Susan Krabacher. They are posting updates on their site.

I Need Cheap Olive Oil

I called Mike about my pizza confusion. He had sage advice.

I am using olive oil that is too good. That’s why the flavor of my dough is wrong when I use oil. He uses the cheapest olive oil known to man. Three dollars a liter. It has almost no color. I tried to get cheap oil, figuring that was what pizzerias used, but I guess I didn’t go cheap enough. You want something with almost no olive flavor. If it’s green, leave it on the shelf. Virgin olive oil is green, so you want the slutty stuff.

He has a great new invention. He plans to roll pizza ingredients up in dough and then cut the roll in slices and bake them. This would be like a stromboli, except a stromboli is baked as a complete roll. I think baking the slices will give a much tastier result, with more browning.

He likes my idea of freezing dough, sauce, and cheese and stapling the bags to each other as a sort of pizza kit. I have to pat myself on the back for that one. Sure beats starting from zero every time you want food.

He showed his son how to make pizza dough in a food processor, which is something I showed Mike. Now the kid will be the emperor of his dorm. I am proud.

Mike refuses to make pizza with no oil in the dough. Can’t reason with him on that, but his results are beyond reproach.

He thinks I should use oil in my garlic rolls, even if I don’t put it in the pizza. And he uses regular biscuit flour, not the high-gluten stuff. He says he would only use bread flour if he were trying to impress someone. Not sure what that means.

I think bread flour is better for rolls, but I can’t deny the perfection of biscuit-flour pizza crust. It’s worth noting that 00 flour, highly regarded by pizza snobs, is actually low in gluten. Many people assume otherwise.

Interesting stuff. The puzzle has no unique solution.

Partnership

My pastor says they can use my help with their Haitian relief effort, but as yet, I have no idea what form that help will take. Hopefully it will not be something that results in me fainting from exerting myself while this virus lingers. Although that would make for a good Youtube.

On Twitter, he reports that Trinity Church will be partnering with Friend Ships Unlimited. That will be interesting. Apparently they’ll be working out of the Port of Miami.

Infallible Cheese

I just finished a biscuit-flour pizza made with reduced sauce and no vinegar, with no fat inside the dough. It was spectacular.

This is frustrating. It seems like every time I make a pizza, it’s really good, but I can’t decide which way I like it best. It’s like having to choose among seven different girlfriends.

Plus Pizza Ruminations

Tragedy is always with us. Back to lighter topics.

I had a big–HUGE–breakthrough last night while practicing the piano.

I recently decided to resume piano, but instead of trying to learn pieces, my only goal was to learn to sight-read fluently. If you can’t sight read (and you’re not a savant), you can’t truly understand music, and composing will be very tough. It will be like using the hunt-and-peck method to type a novel. That’s not the only reason I wanted to learn. My memory just isn’t good enough to allow me to store piano pieces over the long term. I was advised to learn to sight read in order to be develop the ability to play things I had learned in the past. The sheet music helps you over the rough spots.

For weeks, I’ve been using a boring sight-reading book for an hour a day. That’s all I could stand. I put in fifteen minutes of note reading with each hand, and I also did half an hour of timing training.

I got to the point where the book was frustrating. There was very little material in it, and I had a problem with the exercises getting into my memory. Once that happens, you’re not sight-reading. You’re playing from memory, so your sight-reading skills get no workout.

I moved on to a boring book of horrendous Bach pieces, plus a book of easy classics. That helped a lot, but I was frustrated because I wasn’t yet mixing note-reading with timing practice. When I practiced timing, I used the sight-reading book, which features a bunch of exercises using one “A” key for each hand. When I practiced note reading, I ignored the timing, because I couldn’t focus on timing and finger placement at the same time.

Last night I found some very simple pieces in my books, and I started putting the notes and timing together. It works. I played abominably, but I managed to get through the measures. I only used one hand, but it was still great progress. Now I don’t have to suffer with separate exercises for notes and timing, and what I play sort of resembles music, so it’s not as boring. It goes much faster, and it’s much more satisfying to do. And I’m not forced to rely on a training book. Instead of gritting my teeth and quitting the instant the timer rings, I enjoy this enough to go past an hour. That should make a gigantic difference in my progress.

I’d like to write some Christian music. The industry seems to be in a slump right now. It could use a shot in the arm. Maybe I could make a contribution. I ask God for his help all the time. I ask him to help me master music. It seems to be paying off. Whether or not I ever publish anything, at least I’ll be able to read music properly and write it without struggling. That’s a tremendous gift. I’m thrilled about it. Last night, in my head, I heard the wildest variation on Vince Guaraldi’s “Linus and Lucy.” I’d love to put it in MIDI form, just for fun. Can’t do that if I can’t write music.

Christian music sounds dull, right? Wrong. Amazing Grace. Handel’s Messiah. Good Christian music appeals to everyone. Only the lame stuff is dull.

What else is going on? I still struggle with pizza. I flirted with cheddar for a while, but then I got some more Costco mozzarella, and I felt like a philanderer. That’s some cheese, that Costco cheese. Might be better if it had a little more sourness to it, but it’s just about perfect. Adding cheddar is just about pointless. I can use it straight.

The problem with that is that it affects the sauce. Mike advised me to use white vinegar in my tomato sauce, and it works, but recent pizzas lead me to suspect that the main reason the vinegar is necessary is the inadequacy of the cheese. When I use Costco cheese, I have to cut way back on the vinegar. Today I plan to make a pie with no vinegar at all. It’s not gluttony. It’s research. I am actually looking forward to eating something else for lunch. I love pizza and I want it constantly (even while I’m asleep), but even a small one makes it necessary for me to watch my intake for the rest of the day, and it makes my diet unbalanced.

Another odd thing: better cheese seems to reduce the need for sauce.

I’m thinking I might start making tiny pizzas with half a cup of flour, but here’s a funny fact: to test a recipe, you need a certain amount of food. One bite doesn’t tell you much. A 12″ pizza is about the minimum for a quality trial. If I halve the flour, I’ll end up with pizzas about 8 1/2″ in diameter, which is not too bad, but not optimal.

The dough is also on my mind. I’ve been using bread flour and no fat, and then I’ve been putting olive oil on the outside of the dough so it won’t crack when I toss it. But I had a lot of great biscuit-flour pizzas in the past, and I’m wondering if I should try it again, with the oil on the outside. Low-gluten biscuit flour tends to crack more easily than bread flour, so it may be a challenge.

Today I’m going to make a biscuit-flour pie with little or no vinegar in the sauce. I guess I’ll learn something.

It’s good that I exist to do all this testing. I think I’m bringing the world valuable information. Imagine having to do all this for yourselves.

To the best of my knowledge, pizza is the single hardest food to make well. I have never come across another culinary challenge that even came close. I suppose this is fitting, because pizza is the best food there is. Some would say it’s wrong to claim one food is better than all others. That it’s subjective. No; pizza is king. That is an absolute truth, predating the creation of the universe. If I denied it, my head would explode.

Blood Needed

According to news reports, there is a big need for blood donations after the Haiti earthquake. I’m going to see if they’ll have me. I don’t know if I can donate while I’m getting over a virus. I suppose everyone who reads this will already be aware of the need, but it can’t hurt to point it out.

My church is soliciting donations, but I didn’t know that when I heard about the quake. I always go to World Vision when I hear about a need like this. We are having some kind of prayer service tomorrow. I feel kind of useless because I’m still taking it pretty easy while the virus wears off.

It turns out the vast majority of the church is Haitian. I knew there were a lot of them there, but I wasn’t sure it was that big a segment. Maybe there will be a way for me to get involved, beyond prayer and donations.

It’s amazing how vulnerable people in certain countries are. They suffer terribly from problems that are easily avoided. In Africa, tiny children go blind all the time simply because their mothers don’t wash their faces. The Haitian tragedy could have been averted with rebar and adherence to building codes. We have a big problem with Haitians drowning in the Gulf Stream, because they get on overloaded boats without taking flotation devices and without learning to swim. How do you explain a thing like that? How can an adult do a thing like that in 2010? Cubans cross the Stream, too, but they usually bring fresh water and things that float. An empty gallon jug retrieved from Haiti’s inexhaustible supply of litter can keep you alive until someone spots you. It’s not like there is an economic barrier preventing people from taking basic steps to protect themselves.

One remarkable thing about the earthquake is that it killed people from other nations. If you go to Haiti as a charity worker, you may end up living in a structure that isn’t sound, so when an earthquake comes, you’re no better off than the locals. Where, then, are the relief workers staying today? I’d be happy to go over and help, but you couldn’t get me to sleep inside a Haitian building. You don’t have this problem when they get hurricanes and floods. An earthquake is worse. Aftershocks can keep killing after the main event.

Haiti is cursed. I don’t care who doesn’t believe it. I come from a place that is under a curse–a white rural ghetto that receives missionaries from other parts of America–and I am not afraid to say there are other places with the same problem. The only permanent answer to Haiti’s problems is the eradication of demon worship. The PC crowd doesn’t want to offend by mentioning the real problem. They’d rather shoot the messenger than acknowledge the cause of the suffering. I don’t care. In the end, they will not be my judges. They are enablers. I have no respect for their half-baked opinions. They’re wrong about everything else. This is just business as usual.

Put This in His Personnel File

Here’s a Bible lesson for people who think it’s wrong for a Christian to criticize another religion. It’s an excerpt from the first book of Kings.

So Obadiah went to King Ahab and told him, and Ahab set off to meet Elijah. When Ahab saw him, he said, “So there you are–the worst troublemaker in Israel!”

“I am not the troublemaker,” Elijah answered. “You are–you and your father. You are disobeying the LORD’s commands and worshiping the idols of Baal. Now order all the people of Israel to meet me at Mount Carmel. Bring along the 450 prophets of Baal and the 400 prophets of the goddess Asherah who are supported by Queen Jezebel.”

So Ahab summoned all the Israelites and the prophets of Baal to meet at Mount Carmel. Elijah went up to the people and said, “How much longer will it take you to make up your minds? If the LORD is God, worship him; but if Baal is God, worship him!” But the people didn’t say a word.

Then Elijah said, “I am the only prophet of the LORD still left, but there are 450 prophets of Baal. Bring two bulls; let the prophets of Baal take one, kill it, cut it in pieces, and put it on the wood–but don’t light the fire. I will do the same with the other bull. Then let the prophets of Baal pray to their god, and I will pray to the LORD, and the god who answers by sending fire–he is God.”

The people shouted their approval.

Then Elijah said to the prophets of Baal. “Since there are so many of you, you take a bull and prepare it first. Pray to your god, but don’t set fire to the wood.”

They took the bull that was brought to them, prepared it, and prayed to Baal until noon. They shouted. “Answer us. Baal!” and kept dancing around the altar they had built. But no answer came.

At noon Elijah started making fun of them; “Pray louder! Hi is a god! Maybe he is day-dreaming or relieving himself, or perhaps he’s gone off on a trip! Or maybe he’s sleeping, and you’ve got to wake him up!” So the prophets prayed louder and cut themselves with knives and daggers, according to their ritual, until blood flowed. They kept on ranting and raving until the middle of the afternoon; but no answer came, not sound was heard.

Then Elijah said to the people, “Come closer to me.” and they all gathered around him. He set about repairing the altar of the LORD which had been torn down. He took twelve stones, one for each of the twelve tribes named for the sons of Jacob, the man to whom the LORD had given the name Israel With these stones he rebuilt the altar for the worship of the LORD. He dug a trench around it, large enough to hold about four gallons of water. Then he placed the wood on the altar, cut the bull in pieces, and laid it on the wood. He said, “Fill four jars with water and pour it on the offering and the wood.” They did so, and the said, “Do it again”–and they did. “Do it once more,” he said–and they did. The water ran down around the altar and filled the trench.

At the hour of the afternoon sacrifice the prophet Elijah approached the altar and prayed, “O LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, prove now that you are the God of Israel. and that I am your servant and have done all this at your command. Answer me, LORD, answer me, so that this people will know that you, the LORD, are God and that you are bringing them back to yourself.”

The LORD sent fire down, and it burned up the sacrifice, the wood, and the stones, scorched the earth and dried up the water in the trench.

When the people saw this, they threw themselves on the ground and exclaimed. “The LORD is God; the LORD alone is God!”

Elijah ordered, “Seize the prophets of Baal; don’t let any of them get away!” The people seized them all, and Elijah led them down to Kishon Brook and killed them.

Man, that Elijah was intolerant and backward. I wonder who put him up to that.

Strait is the Gate and Small the Tent

I don’t know what to say about my eye exam.

On the one hand, I’m having a bad eye day. Some days I see better than others, and today is not a good day. On the other, the doctor said my vision was very good. No need of correction.

I can’t help being bummed out when I remember the way I used to see, but I’m so much luckier than most people, I should be celebrating.

After the exam, I helped the dockmaster at my dad’s marina fix a shore cable, and he told me his daughter was diagnosed with a retinal blastoma. This is a cancer that strikes very young kids. Typically, it’s discovered when the pupil of one eye looks white in a photo. The tumors are white, and they’re on the retina, so a flashbulb brings them out.

She has had 40 operations and only sees out of one eye. I had thirty years of vision better than most people will ever experience, and even now, apart from some farsightedness, I’m better off than most teenagers.

If you want to say a prayer for this girl, be my guest. I don’t know her name.

I got some angry comments when I asserted that Pat Robertson was right to suggest Haiti was under a curse because of idolatry. He’s a strange guy, and I would not call myself an admirer, but I can’t fault him for humbly and compassionately expressing his sadness about a nation that has a history of indulging in a dangerous practice. I would also remind people that he did so while helping funnel millions of dollars to Haiti.

People say he blamed the Haitians and that he said they deserved what they got, but that’s not what he said in the video. The accusations about Robertson appear to be stupid, deliberate, vicious lies. Nothing new there. If they are deliberate lies, the people who are spewing this propaganda are guilty of something much worse than suggesting a nation needs to turn to God.

One of Satan’s best tricks is turning evil into good and good into evil. We’re seeing it more and more now. If you caution people against homosexuality, because you care about them and you know it leads to misery, you’re not showing kindess; no, you’re a hate-filled bigot who likes seeing people die from AIDS. If you say it’s wrong for teachers to show your kids the “safe” way to fornicate, you’re not a responsible parent; you’re a freak who wants to condemn kids to death by projecting your backward sexual hangups onto them. If you think a seven-month fetus shouldn’t be torn apart without anaesthesia for the convenience of an irresponsible mother, you’re not protecting babies; you’re persecuting the sexually enlightened and forcing unwanted babies to live in anguish. And if you say Satan worship leads to misery, you’re punishing victims of a totally random tragedy. Like the many totally random tragedies that inexplicably strike Haiti just about every year while missing the other half of the island on which Haiti sits.

Jesus told us that before he returned to earth, it would be as it was in the days of Noah. What were those days like? Humanity was so perverse, God was willing to wipe it from the face of the earth and start over. The Talmud tells us the final straw was the forming of marriage contracts between people and animals. The one righteous man on earth, Noah, was a laughingstock (until it started raining).

We’re headed that way again. Perversion and arrogance and self-love are virtues. Exposing sin–one of the most helpful things you can do, and something the Bible requires us to do, proactively–is “hate.” Up is down. Day is night. Noah would feel right at home.

Whether or not Pat Robertson is right to suspect the current catastrophe is linked to Satan worship, he’s right to say Haitians need to turn from it. Satan is real, and he is powerful. He gets his due, with interest, and that means disease, violence, natural disasters, poverty, and every other ill imaginable. In short, it means your life will probably be like life in Haiti. God wants people to turn away from Satan so he can protect and bless them, and every Christian should be proud to say so.

Jesus was not tolerant, in the modern, amoral sense of the word. He was forgiving. It’s not the same thing. He didn’t associate with sinners because what they were doing was okay. He associated with them because they needed him more than other people; he said that, himself. He never said, “Your sins are forgiven, and it’s okay if you keep sinning.” He said, “go and sin no more.” He would not have held hands with Buddha and Mohammed and said they were basically colleagues. The most likely thing is that he sent both of them to hell, along with millions of their dupes. He spoke about hell. It’s a real place. He made it clear that many people were headed there. He made it clear that he was the only ticket out. Tolerance was the furthest thing from his mind. He didn’t even tolerate Jews he thought were in error; why would anyone think he would have tolerated voodoo?

The real meaning of tolerance is that you put up with something. It doesn’t mean you endorse it. We have warped the meaning of the word to make it synonymous with approval.

We are told that if we don’t warn people about their error, their blood is on our heads. If that is true, how can it be wrong to criticize idolatry? Ignoring egregious, perilous sin is like refusing to tell someone you saw a melanoma on his back or a rattlesnake under his bed. It’s not “tolerant.” It’s selfish, lazy, and cowardly.

Christianity is an exclusive faith. It does not allow for the possibility that other faiths are anything but evil. The New Testament makes that clear, over and over. The notion that there are other ways to be saved is a hundred percent contrary to Christianity. People choose not to think about this, because it’s inconvenient and makes them unpopular, but it’s undeniable. They have the strange idea that Christianity can be modernized and improved by removing the exclusivity, but if you believe that, you believe Jesus himself was wrong. That makes you a very funny kind of Christian, at best.

People who tell the truth about God are always persecuted. Jesus told us to expect it. It’s normal. It’s evidence that they’re right. If your goal is to please God, you have to set aside your hopes of being popular. It’s not going to happen. You can’t have it both ways. Jeremiah was beaten and imprisoned. Jesus was crucified. Zechariah was murdered. Micaiah was jailed. Elijah was hunted like an animal. Noah’s neighbors reviled him. Nehemiah had to work with a sword in one hand, because his enemies were a constant threat. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were bound and thrown into a furnace. Mordecai and the Jews of ancient Persia were threatened with genocide for refusing to treat a man like an idol. Ten of the original disciples were martyred, as was the one who replaced Judas. Paul was martyred. Stephen was martyred. The Romans used Christians as torches. The Bible could almost be described as a collection of tales about religious persecution. The fact that we make people angry does not mean we’re wrong. If we did not make people angry from time to time, it would mean something was amiss.

This is not our world. It belongs to Satan, and we are foreign insurgents. Every Gideon Bible is like an IED. A Christian in this world is like a festering splinter in a person’s body. The world becomes inflamed and tries to expel us, and sometimes, it succeeds. It’s normal. Jesus told us we would be hated, and that the world had hated him first. Did he lie?

The same idea that drives voodoo drives the tolerance craze. Voodoo practitioners believe you can alloy Christianity with demon worship, and that by doing so, you get the benefits of both. The tolerance pushers think you can be a good Christian while condoning everything the non-Christian world approves of. It doesn’t work that way. You’re on one side of the fence or the other. You cannot reconcile Christianity with secular values. No way.

It’s no wonder the tolerance crowd is mad at Pat Robertson. He’s criticizing idolatry, and in their hearts, idolatry is what they want for themselves. They want to be worldly Christians, serving themselves and other gods and Jesus. You can’t do that. Read the First Commandment.

I regret the many things that I’ve done that amount to idolatry. I wish I had been warned about them earlier. I wish I were more aware of my current chronic errors, and I pray regularly for God to show them to me. I wish I had been raised in a real Christian home, so I would not have made so many mistakes. The Bible tells us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Add it all together, and the conclusion I draw is that it’s good to warn people when they make mistakes. It’s what I wish people had done for me. The psalms say “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a blessing. And let him reprove me: it shall be an excellent oil which shall not break my head.” There is nothing self-righteous about warning people, any more than pulling someone into a lifeboat is self-righteous. It’s what you do, when you care.

On a per capita basis, Christians will probably send more money to Hait–unconditionally–than any other group, with the possible exception of Jews. When the critics can match that performance, I’ll listen to their tolerance spiel.

No, not even then.

You’ve Done it Again!

Last month I got a piece of aluminum swarf in my eye, and I went to see the eye doctor. Stupidly, I let him talk me into an old-age “comprehensive” eye exam, so that’s on my schedule today.

I get to confront my mortality by determining exactly how blind I’ve gotten over the last 20 years. I won’t complain. I am not nearsighted enough to need glasses for driving, and I’m not farsighted enough to be totally dependent on reading glasses. Things could be a lot worse.

On my last visit, the doctor said my vision was “fantastic,” which means other people my age must be in sad shape. I thank God I’m not in their shoes.

I hate going to the doctor, but I’m glad I get to go. Needing to go and not being able would be a whole lot worse.

Nouveau Christianity Says “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

I can’t believe the responses I’m getting to my post about Pat Robertson, who pointed out that Haiti is cursed because of idolatry.

Curses on entire nations are as scriptural as the Ten Commandments. I can’t believe any Christian would say otherwise. I can think of a number of examples without opening a Bible.

1. Egypt was cursed because of the enslavement of the Jews. The nation endured ten plagues, including the slaying (by God) of all the firstborn males. Think about that. God himself killed young male children in Egypt, by the hundreds of thousands. God killed BABIES. Nice touchy-feely uber-tolerant liberal God, right?

2. God punished the Jews by allowing the Babylonians to blind the king, castrate his descendants, and take the cream of the population to Babylon in chains.

3. According to prophecy, God is going to punish the nations that divide Israel, and it’s not going to be a mild punishment. It’s going to involve death and unbearable suffering, on a grand scale.

If you want to suggest God doesn’t do these things any more, you’ll have to provide scripture. Prophecy says he is going to slaughter people IN PERSON, with the sword of his mouth. If he has changed, how can that be true? Prophecy is about the future.

I can’t believe people think God doesn’t punish sin. Do you want a list? Adam. Eve. Satan. Cain. Nebuchadnezzar. Ananias. Sapphira. The sons of Eli. Shiloh. Sodom. Gomorrah. Ahab. Jezebel. David. Absalom. Herod. Judas. How many do you want? Samson. Samson’s tormentors. Goliath. Go ahead; say “when.” Belshazzar. Everyone who lived before the flood, except Noah’s family. Pharaoh. Korah.

Look, this is ridiculous. It’s like arguing about whether Jesus was Jewish. I’m so obviously right, I shouldn’t have to point it out. Shut me up, and the Bible will still make it clear.

If it’s wrong to say someone is under a curse, then every evangelist should be silenced. Every time an evangelist tells someone to come to Christ, he is saying that person is under a curse. If you haven’t accepted Jesus, you are under a curse. That is the central issue of Christianity. If you don’t believe in curses, you are not a Christian, because you don’t believe anyone needs salvation.

If Pat Robertson says that, should we condemn him? It’s no different from what he said about Haiti. Caribbean idol worship is a great, great evil, and every Christian has an obligation to warn people when they’re in peril. How can any Christian argue with that?

I’ve said many times that I believed my family had been under a curse. Do you think I hate my family? I’ve said it about myself. Surely no one thinks I hate myself, or that I don’t want the best for myself.

Maybe idolatry isn’t the reason for the Haitian earthquake, but it is an invitation to disaster, and criticizing voodoo is a righteous act. Voodoo is evil, and it should be eradicated, and no Christian should be afraid to say so.

2,000 Years Later, his Followers are Still At It

I just saw the video of Pat Robertson saying Haiti was under a curse because Haitians had made a pact with the devil. Commenters on Drudgebart.tv were generally furious with him.

Someone explain this to me. I’m not sure Robertson has both oars in the water, but it is undeniably true that the prevailing religion in Haiti is demon worship, better known as voodoo. God exists. Satan exists. God is the good one. Satan is the bad one. What, exactly, is wrong with what Robertson said? I can understand atheists and voodoo practitioners getting upset, but what about ordinary Americans? Most of us claim to be Christians, and that means we believe in God and Satan.

Why do people think it’s an insult to say someone is under a curse? How is this different from saying a person has cancer or that he needs to have his brake lights fixed so he doesn’t have an accident? When people are in trouble, you speak up, don’t you? Isn’t that the kindest thing you can do?

I’m fairly sure the largest ethnic group at my church is made up of Haitians. I’ll bet none of them are mad at Pat Robertson today. They probably tell their relatives the same thing all the time, trying to help them get free. Christians have historically pumped gigantic amounts of money and manpower into Haiti, and they’re heavily involved in the current disaster response. You can’t say that about random Internet commenters who showed up today to bash Pat Robertson. He’s amassing donations and providing humanitarian aid. What are the commenters doing?

Mention Satan or sin, and get smacked down. Nothing new there. If anything, the venomous and irrational responses are evidence that Christians are right.

When did we stop believing in Satan and demons? It’s so sad. Most American Christians think Jesus was a really nice guy–probably gay–who preached unconditional love and was basically insane. In reality, he was a warrior who battled Satan and planted the seed that doomed his kingdom.

Mindless tolerance was not his message. There is a difference between forgiveness and tolerance. He condemned sin, and he condemned all religions other than his own. He would condemn voodoo and santeria and other forms of demon worship, in terms much stronger than those used by Pat Robertson.

Jesus talked about Satan day in and day out. He knew he was real. He had conversations with demons, including Satan himself. He cast them out of people who would be misdiagnosed as blind, deaf, and epileptic today. If Jesus were here in the flesh, the Drudgebart commenters would hate him as much as they hate Pat Robertson.

Link

World Vision is already on it. Click to donate.

Sometimes I think that if you want a glimpse of what life will be like in the Tribulation, you only have to go to a nation where demon worship or atheism prevail. Look at Burma and Haiti.

CLICK dial CLICK dial…

Here’s a tip for people who buy stuff from Grizzly Industrial. If you order a set of T nuts and two of the four nuts are unusable, and you call customer service and you get Sherleesa the Crabby CSR Who Hasn’t Had Coffee Yet, and she snaps at you and tries to transfer you to technical support so you can describe the defects over the phone and have the tech nerds explain why you are wrong, just hang up. When you call again, you’ll probably get someone normal, and this person will send you free nuts, and she’ll let you keep the two that aren’t defective.

At least that’s what happened to me.

I think this is the best strategy whenever you get a CSR who isn’t satisfactory. Hang up. Call again. Hang up. Call again. Never mention the earlier calls. Act like it’s the first time you’ve dialed, and start at the beginning. Sooner or later, you’ll get someone who can actually do their job.

Here is Sherleesa earlier in the day. I think this is why she was so rude to me.

I may as well admit I don’t really remember the CSR’s name.

Where is Doc Severinsen?

Yesterday I read Conan O’Brien’s statement about leaving The Tonight Show, and I thought, “Wow, I admire his grit. These guys have no idea what they’re doing, and he’s absolutely right.” Then I thought, “Wait. Conan O’Brien hosts The Tonight Show? Jimmy Fallon has a show?”

I know Triumph the Comedy Insult Dog. That’s about all I can tell you about Conan O’Brien. Triumph’s performance with the Star Wars nerds was on a par with Olivier’s Hamlet. Maybe he should host the show.

I still won’t watch it.

Last night I wrote a piece repeating my contention that Bach is boring. Then I fired up Glenn Gould’s 1981 Goldberg Variations, to make sure I was being fair. As I heard the first few minutes, I thought, “Hey, this stuff is actually really good. I was way off base.”

Then fifteen minutes later I realized I had forgotten it was on, and I tried to listen again, and I said out loud, “I can’t take this stuff any more.” Apparently my brain had built a temporary shield to protect me from the boredom. I don’t think I suffered any real damage.

Doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly doodly DOO.