*Exhale*

Some gun on an auction site went so low on a new .308 rifle, I went insane and bought it. I had no choice. It was unfair, really. He wanted over a hundred dollars less than my dealer’s cost.

Now, what kind of optics do I need? I plan to use this thing at the range for now, at 100 yards, but I would like a scope that would work later with a .260 barrel and long distances. Just once in my life, I would like to shoot something a thousand yards away.

I have the nuttiest feeling that God has been pushing me to get an AR10. I’m not really that excited about it. I can take it or leave it (or at least I could, until the price collapsed). It’s not like the .38 Super or the SW1911, which made me drool for weeks. Very strange.

Now Janet Napolitano’s goons will be putting a notation on my file. “Thinks God tells him to buy sniper rifles.”

I have no desire to drive around in a van shooting people. Honest. But I might get an urge to make a few prairie dogs pop like water balloons.

Call my People, O’Reilly

Isn’t life kooky.

Though a weird series of events, I got invited to the National Day of Prayer, in Washington, DC. Mike got invited through me. We were going to hear Franklin Graham speak. He is Billy Graham’s son.

Today I saw this story on Yahoo News: Group Wants Evangelist’s Pentagon Event Cancelled. Some guy named Mikey Weinstein–that’s really what he calls himself–says Graham should be disinvited because he has criticized Islam as “evil.”

Mr. Weinstein is in charge of an obscure outfit called the Military Religious Freedom Foundation. My wild guess: the foundation consists of an 800 number that goes to his cell phone. For years I’ve wanted to call myself a foundation or a coalition, purely to lampoon the practice of using pompous language to make oneself seem important, but I never got around to it. I know it would get me on cable news a lot. That’s where cable guests often come from. You form a corporation for $75, get an agent, and let the networks know you’re available. Seriously, that will get you on the news. Don’t forget to wear a suit, and get some glasses to make you look intelligent and serious.

His website lists no staff.

Points to ponder: how long has it been since Mikey Weinstein attended services at a house of worship, and what is his prayer schedule like? One would assume that a person who fights for religious freedom would have a religion which he wishes to be free to practice. Can’t find any references to Mr. Weinstein’s religious bent on the web.

According to Wikipedia, Mr. Weinstein has dedicated his life–no exaggeration–to battling evangelical Christianity. In other words, he is battling all Christians who believe the Bible. If you go to church on Christmas and Easter and you never pray, Mr. Weinstein has no problems with you, because you aren’t accomplishing anything. He is only after serious Christians.

Here is a clip from Wikipedia:

The group was founded by Michael Weinstein in early 2006 to oppose the spread of religious intimidation by evangelical Christians in positions of power within the US military. Weinstein describes the group’s target as “a small subset of evangelical Christianity that’s called premilliennial, dispensational, reconstructionist, dominionist, fundamentalist, evangelical Christianity or just Dominionist Christianity.”

Am I crazy, or is this persecution? If he were an atheist (he probably is, though) fighting all religions, I would not be hearing sirens, but targeting one branch of one religion seems bigoted and irrational. What would people say if I dedicated my life to fighting Orthodox Judaism or the Jehovah’s Witnesses, while leaving other religions unmolested? They’d call me a Crusader and a bigot. How is Mr. Weinstein any different?

Is he fighting Muslims who want to rearrange their work areas and schedules so they can pray? Is he fighting to keep healthy, inexpensive, delicious pork on the menus at military mess halls? Does he want to force Jewish soldiers to work on the sabbath? I wonder.

Mr. Weinstein is disturbed by Christianity’s influence over our military. Me, I think it’s the single best thing about our military. The political side of our government is extremely venal and godless, but our soldiers and sailors are still working to bring us God’s blessings. That’s very important. If there is one part of government you want God to bless, it’s the part that fights our enemies directly, by force of arms.

The Military Religious Freedom Foundation was nominated for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize! I saw that on the web. The Nobels are amazing. Does the list come directly from Satan’s desk, or what? Has anyone looked at the list? Is Satan’s signature at the bottom? Is the list delivered to Stockholm by an imp?

All you have to do is attack Christianity, capitalism, or America, and you make the cut. They should start calling them the Ignobel Prizes. They’ve become completely absurd. They used to go to people who did useful things like revolutionizing physics. Now all you have to do is lie about global warming or spend twenty days in the White House without achieving anything.

Mr. Weinstein is a lawyer, so he knows what “sandbagging” is. It means attacking your opponent at the last possible moment, so he has no time to prepare a defense. That’s what he’s doing with his attack on Franklin Graham. The event is taking place two weeks from now, and Mr. Weinstein has had a long time to get his spiel ready, and he waited until yesterday. He knows there will be no time for a thoughtful dialogue now. He’ll provoke a kneejerk, drive-by attack from the press, and if he manages to generate hysteria, it will still be in full bloom on the day of the event. Those are bush league tactics in my book.

Nonetheless, there is some validity to his position. When you ask the government to subsidize an event, you sell your soul to the founder of the feast. This is why universities are so crazy. They take piles of taxpayer money, and it comes with strings attached. By making the National Day of Prayer a government event, we pretty much asked for potshots from extremists. I don’t know why we need the government’s imprimatur. Seems to me we could just coordinate and show up on our own.

Church tax exemptions are problematic, too. Preachers have a responsibility to preach about politics, but if they uphold it, they run the risk of losing tax exemptions. So they stay quiet when God-hating fringe characters run for office. That harms America. Better to be like Jesus and let the fish you catch pay the taxes. That’s my opinion. If God is with you, presumably your flock will support you well enough to allow you to pay Uncle Sam to get lost.

I would like to see a wave of evangelism so strong, we would bury the malcontents and our government could go back to acknowledging God openly. But that hasn’t happened yet. We should take attacks like Mr. Weinstein’s as inspiration to evangelize and get the votes we need to produce a godly government. And we should pray for him to change and find the good things we’ve found.

I’m going to pray that the attack fizzles, and that we learn to mobilize in Washington without the government’s help. Leftists don’t need government help at Burning Man. We don’t need help with tea parties. We should be able to orchestrate massive prayer events on our own.

But…

1. CINNAMON ROLLS READY TO GO IN THE OVEN!

2. MADE HUGE PROGRESS MILLING A SHOTGUN PART!

Face it. My hobbies rule.

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Here are the rolls I threw out earlier, because I failed to add yeast to the dough. I baked them anyway. Eating failed baked goods is a guilty pleasure every cook has experienced. You know how it is. Failed baked goods taste fantastic, but it would be too embarrassing to serve them.

Here is the part I’m machining. I’m using a 1/2″ carbide bit at 1200 RPM. I am now in the process of milling the opening out, using the side of the cutter. I have no idea how much 1045 steel I’m allowed to take in one pass, but 0.030″ doesn’t seem to bother the mill. The cut is 1.2″ deep.

I started at about 800 RPM, but the cutter seems to like 1200 better.

Here is the part I’m trying to copy. Dubious photography, but you get the idea.

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I don’t know how they taste cold, but hot, they blow Cinnabons away.

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The rolls are unbelievable. Ate one, threw out six. They were too dangerous to keep near me.

Food Fumes Give me Visions

Mike has made a big difference in my life. He helped me learn how to make pizza and garlic rolls, and he also turned me on to the Popeil Showtime Rotisserie.

Right now I have a choice Winn-Dixie roast on the twin spits. I smeared it with butter, salt, and garlic, cut the ribs off, tied them back on, let it sit in the fridge for a day, and fired up the oven. The smell is indescribable.

The ideal side dish? A baked potato with sour cream. But being the thin person that I am, I’m going to have to have fairly small portions.

I’ve got the ingredients for cinnamon rolls made up, so I can smell those, too.

I could charge people to smell this house.

Pizza has its Limits

I have been thinking of new ways to inject life into my church’s cafe. Yesterday it dawned on me: cinnamon rolls.

Check these out:

I made those some years ago. I believe I used a springform pan. They were better than any rolls I’ve bought, and I think it would be easy to make them in large quantities for church. The smell of cinnamon rolls baking should be a pretty good marketing tool.

I have to dig up my recipe, make some rolls, and see how good they are.

We should be able to get a dollar for each roll. I don’t think they cost a lot to make. Mostly flour. Pecans aren’t cheap, but you don’t need a whole lot of them.

There are some foods you just can’t buy, unless you’re willing to accept low quality. Pizza is an example. Cinnamon rolls make the list. I would also add honey-garlic chicken, which is a Cantonese dish consisting of chicken in batter, deep-fried and covered with a sauce made from citrus, honey, and garlic. I add habanero bits to my sauce, which makes all the difference in the world.

I have a little rib roast warming up on the counter. Since yesterday it has been absorbing butter, garlic, and salt. Should be a thing of beauty once it’s done. I think they could bottle the smell of the raw roast and sell it to women as perfume.

This may be a good day to price an AR10 in .308. I can’t just think about food all the time.

My Dreams Smell Like This

I got a choice rib roast on sale at Winn-Dixie the other day. I’m planning to roast it tomorrow. I just took it out of the package to cut the ribs loose, salt it, apply garlic butter, and tie it back up.

I think I’m going to faint. The meat was just starting to get funky from sitting in the fridge. The butter…the garlic…I want my whole world to smell like this. AND I CAN’T HAVE ANY UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

This is inhumane.

Get Off my Screen

Facebook ads want to know if I want to date “active seniors” and “women over 50.”

Think I’ll pass.

Decision Near?

The .308/.260 Remington puzzle seems to be unraveling.

I wanted a nice long-distance-capable semiautomatic rifle. The 6.5 Grendel looked good, but while it does well at long distances, it gives up some long-range punch in order to fit the AR15 platform. The .308 is a dandy choice, but other calibers do better at long ranges, and the recoil is bad. The .260 Remington looked really good, but the ammunition is expensive.

Last week I discovered that excellent .308 ammunition is cheap. That got me thinking. I can get a relatively short-barreled AR10 in .308, shoot it very accurately at my local range, which only goes to 100 yards, and put a .260 upper on it occasionally. And the .308 would be easier to carry, and if I ever got a chance to shoot pigs or deer, it would be a great choice.

So now I’m thinking about getting a .308 from DPMS. I considered other brands, but DPMS has a wonderful reputation for accuracy and reliability, and they don’t charge an arm and a leg.

This seems to be the smart choice, if I do this.

I saw a hilarious gun on the web today. A company called Knight Armament makes it. It’s an AR15-looking gun (“Stoner 16”) with a cool attachment under the handguard. The attachment is…a 12-gauge shotgun.

I’m serious. Here is a link.

I guess I don’t have to feel self-conscious about a laser and a flashlight now.

This is the craziest gun I’ve ever seen. It’s the gun equivalent of a double-necked guitar. It would be a great gun for a woman. Whenever they go anywhere, they like to pack everything they own.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get the Romak III working right. I have to reinstall the fire control group and fiddle with it. Red Star Arms does not answer emails about the fire control group they manufacture; something to think about before buying one.

The Romak is fun, but it’s a curiosity more than a practical weapon. The trigger that comes with it is complete garbage and will not permit accurate shooting. I don’t know how they manage to use it in battle. I guess they’re satisfied with 10 MOA shooting. It’s very popular with our enemies in Iraq, but then they probably can’t obtain guns that work correctly as manufactured.

If they took the trigger slap out of the trigger, the gun would be pretty good. But it ought to sell for $400. It looks like someone built it in his garage.

I got ripped off when I bought my specimen. They were selling for nearly $800. Now they can be had for $600. Cheap ammunition is still available, so the picture isn’t totally bleak.

If I had the decision to make all over again, I’d get a PTR91. Similar money, better performance.

I had a great experience last night. I asked for a scripture to read, and I felt like I should turn to 1 Peter. I went through it, making notes and underlining. It confirms so much of what I’ve come to believe, and what I’ve been taught. Prayer in the Spirit cleanses us and helps us behave. We are little portable embassies of the kingdom of heaven, living temporarily in a foreign land. The good things we receive, and even our good acts, come from God. Our contributions are relatively minor. And each of us is an essential and unique part of the machine that will change the world.

More and more, I feel the the Bible is being opened up to me. I believe this is a consequence of prolonged prayer in the Spirit. I’m not the only one who believes it. Perry Stone says it leads to revelation. He says he does it so much, people are amused by it.

The Bible yields its treasures, bit by bit, as we need them. Some things stay hidden, because the time is not right for us to understand them.

It’s a great relief, to be able to understand the Bible and see the pieces fit together. How many times have you been frustrated after reading a chapter? You make as much sense of it as you can, and you go on, figuring God will clear it up when the time comes. That’s better than not reading at all, but it can’t compare to getting divine insight as you go.

Twenty years ago, I knew prayer in tongues was a foundational gift. I knew it was the key to growth. But I wandered off and got lost. Too bad. I wonder what could have been.

I noticed something while reading a book Paul wrote. When he quotes scripture, sometimes he quotes several verses consecutively, even though they come from different parts of the Bible. I think this is something we are expected to be able to do. God stirred his word up, putting related parts in different places. It’s sort of like the Tower of Babel; he made it impossible for our natural minds to sort it out, because we were not ready for the knowledge. Now with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can take verses from different areas of the Bible and combine them so they work together and express God’s meaning. It’s like the valley of dry bones. The parts are spread out and jumbled up, but they can be reassembled and put to work. The Bible says, “Our bones are scattered at the grave’s mouth, as when one cutteth and cleaveth wood upon the earth” (Psalm 141). Like the verses of the Bible, or like Jacob’s descendants, we wait to be re-ordered and given new life by the Holy Spirit.

This is unrelated, but I had a funny thought last night while I was watching a drug commercial. I thought about depression, which can be caused by a spirit. It occurred to me that it was ironic that a foul spirit could wrap itself around you and whisper depressing things about your future. Who has a better future than a Christian, and who has a worse future than a foul spirit? They have no future. They’re going to burn while we laugh.

I think it might be a good idea to fight fire with fire. If you hear a little voice in your head, putting you down and telling you you’re not going to have a good future, open your mouth and say, “The Bible says I’m part of a royal priesthood. I’m going to live forever in God’s presence. You, on the other hand, are going to roast alive–screaming in agony–in front of your assembled enemies while we shout and high-five each other. No one can save you. I’M the one who should be depressed?”

Maybe it’s a bad move, but it’s a funny thought.

Jesus was tortured to death in front of his jeering enemies, and then he ascended to paradise and took his seat at the right hand of God, and now he has all power over every spirit. Demons, on the other hand, are going to be killed painfully in front of their enemies, and then they’re going to be gone, and they will be remembered as creation’s biggest failures. The parallel is obvious, but the end results are very different. Maybe God gave us the burnt sacrifices of the Temple so the smell would remind the fallen of their fate. Maybe the death ovens of the Nazis and the altars of Molech and the burning World Trade Center were Satan’s pathetic parodies of the burnt offerings. The same may be true of abortion mills.

Incidentally, I am starting to think the book of Amos predicted the Shoah, as well as the renewal of Israel and the Messianic Age. Amos talks of bald heads and piles of bodies. Remarkable.

Enough stuff for one morning. I should be making strawberry goop for cheesecake topping.

TRIFECTA

I can’t believe how much I accomplished today. I managed to provide my church’s cafe with pizza, garlic rolls, and strawberry cheesecake, all made from scratch.

The Lord kicked in some needed assistance. I already had a sixteen-year-old working with me, and today another kid volunteered. One of my friends runs my prayer group, and he’s an armorbearer, and he’s in charge of all 700 of the church’s volunteers. His eleven-year-old son really wanted to learn how to make pizza, so I put him on the team.

Before half of the day was gone, these two were making pies from the ground up, except for some help with making dough. And I got them to roll out and tie garlic rolls, too. The biggest problem was slowing them down. We made more pies than we could use.

Now I’m enjoying one of the perks of seniority. I get to make other people do the crummiest jobs. But they take a lot of the fun out of it by volunteering for the crummy jobs before I can give the orders.

Church kids are amazing. They never seem to whine or say anything snotty. I did have a problem with them hiding in the refrigerator, but that was only because it was hot in the kitchen. They couldn’t take it. So they got out. You know how that works.

Berries are still very cheap, so I am planning to buy maybe thirty dollars’ worth, turn all of them into the base goo that holds berries onto the cheesecake, and freeze it. Later in the year, when berries are expensive, I’ll have this stuff to rely on. If necessary, I can use goo and no berries. It would still be very good, and it would be cheap.

Florida strawberries are much better than the ones we get from California. Maybe it’s because they aren’t picked green so they can make the long trip. The berries I bought for the cheesecake are nearly as good as wild strawberries, which is saying something.

I may switch over to flan, because cheesecake is expensive and hard to make. We had to charge $3.00 a slice, too. We can probably sell flan for $1.50 a slice and make more money.

We have been giving food away at the end of the night on Tuesdays, and as I feared, people have adopted a strategy of waiting for the free stuff instead of paying. So I’m going to try to put in a new policy: free food for volunteers only. Work in the cafe, or pay. It’s better to throw the food out than give it away to people who are trying to take advantage of the church. I don’t like the idea of throwing out food, but finding a way to get it to people who actually deserve it is impossible.

I am told that the pastor’s wife (also a pastor) wants to keep the cafe open on Tuesdays, which would be a change from the current policy, under which we close it during the service. Her son is in charge of the service, so the two of them will have to get together and make a decision, but it’s starting to look like Tuesdays might become viable again.

I made pizza for the lunch crowd Thursday before last, and I’m told they clamored for it last week. I need to get another student who can work on Thursdays. That means an adult. If God is in it, someone will show up.

Someone asked for the pizza recipe today. My response was that you have to work in the kitchen to get it. Some of these people need to get a little church spirit.

The sauce is better than ever. I improved it with my secret ingredient. It really makes a difference. There isn’t much I can do to make it better.

The rolls are a good idea. It costs around 50 cents to make a dozen, and we get $4.50 for an order that size. They’re also easier to make than pizza.

I had to buy a slice of cheesecake today. I brought an apple and some raw vegetables to keep me alive, but I have to fast tomorrow, and I figured I should indulge. My knees nearly buckled when I took the first bite. I love that stuff.

Now I’m sitting here thinking about it.

He Also Makes Great Appliances

I was just reading about how Arizona has become the third state (after Alaska and Vermont) to allow concealed carry without a permit. Some whiner in the news article was moaning about how this would lead to accidental shootings involving people who had no training.

I would argue that being accidentally shot is better than being deliberately raped or murdered, unless the accidental shooting is really bad. When it comes to concealed weapons and accidental shootings, I think the leg is the usual victim.

It occurs to me that this would be a great opportunity to build a bridge between Second Amendment supporters and people who have an irrational fear of firearms. Here is something we agree on: people who handle guns should have training. So LET’S MAKE FIREARMS TRAINING COMPULSORY IN ALL OUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS.

The logic is inescapable. Now the folks with neurotic gun fears will be able to sleep easy at night. Or if not, at least the irrational fear that keeps them awake will be unrelated to guns. Maybe they’ll lie awake thinking every creak and crackle is Sarah Palin, sneaking into their houses in a moose costume, to force them to carry their unborn babies to term.

If we make our kids learn to shoot, the obvious danger is that one day America might be a crime-plagued hellhole like Switzerland. Or like America used to be, before gun control solved all of our problems.

Tomorrow at 7:30, I expect to be standing in my church’s kitchen, making pizza and garlic rolls while carrying a loaded pistol with night sights. This summer, I’m hoping I’ll get a chance to teach a bunch of Jesus-loving Jews to shoot. Where did my mother go wrong?

Dang, my life sounds pretty good when I write it up like that.

I have a cheesecake waiting in the fridge. I made it for the church’s cafe. I’d kill for a few slices, but unfortunately, they belong to to God. And you know what he says. “I am a jealous God.” This cheesecake gives that scripture new life.

This cheesecake is arguably more tempting and more dangerous than the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. If Satan had had this cheesecake, he would not have had to go to the Garden of Eden to tempt the first people. Eve would have smelled it and followed her nose to hell and agreed to whatever terms he cared to name. In fact, instead of bargaining with him, she might have just beaten him to a pulp and taken it.

I am not sure human beings were ever intended to have anything this good. When earthly pleasures get sufficiently intense, they might dull people’s enthusiasm for paradise. If the stuff they have up there is better than my pizza and rolls and cheesecake, we should all hoped to get martyred as soon as possible so we can get our hands on it.

I bought about a gallon of peeled garlic tonight. I have four gallons of oil at church, plus parsley and lots of flour. I don’t know if I can pull off rolls and pizza on the same day, but I am game to try. Using the new mixer, I can crank out dough for 6 dozen rolls in a couple of minutes. Making rolls is not nearly as hard as making pizza. I might be able to do it, if I can get the pizza going efficiently enough. I will want to try my new trick of adding the yeast after mixing the dough, which complicates things. It will be worth it to hear the customers groaning in ecstasy.

My assistant should be there in the morning. If I can get him up to speed, this might work.

More Progress

Forget everything I have told you about garlic rolls and do this.

INGREDIENTS

1 cup high-gluten flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon sugar
4 ounces water (roughly)
1 level teaspoon instant yeast
1 teaspoon juice from sour cream or yogurt or kefir or something similar

Scale this up if needed; it makes 6 rolls about the size of racquetballs.

Mix everything but the yeast. You want it a little sticky, but you should be able to handle it without much trouble. Don’t knead it.

Plop it into a bowl and cover it with foil. Let it sit for at least two days. Room temperature.

Fold the yeast in. Doesn’t have to be perfectly mixed, but do a good job. It’s okay if some grains of yeast hang off the dough.

Flatten into a 6″ by 9″ rectangle. Cut into 6 long strips. Pull a strip off, stretch it to a foot in length, double it, tie it in an overhand knot, and put it on a seasoned pan. Repeat.

Oil the rolls lightly (cheap olive oil) and let them rise (covered with something airtight) until they are as big as racquetballs. The rise may take 2-3 hours. Bake at 550. Takes about 6 minutes. Toss in a mixture of pureed garlic, cheap olive oil, salt, and parsley flakes. Lots of garlic; maybe a third as much garlic as oil, by volume.

This is very similar to the recipe I put up a day or two ago, but this time, the sour cream bacteria woke up and made it a little sour. I think you could actually make an acceptable starter with that stuff. The dough formed tiny blisters when it baked, and that made the rolls better.

The only ways I can think of to improve this are as follows: 1) fresh grated cheese, 2) pizza sauce for dipping, and 3) anchovy sauce for dipping. I don’t have a recipe for anchovy sauce. That one just came to me. But it would be good, wouldn’t it? Hmm…anchovies fried in oil, with garlic puree tossed in at the last minute and also fried. With mashed pine nuts. Maybe.

Mike and I were thinking it might be possible to speed up the rise by mashing the yeast up with a little water before mixing it in, but you might have trouble mixing it in, and you might lose the blisters. I don’t know.

These are tasty. Give them a shot.

Boy, do I smell.

New Shorts

I went to Old Navy. Got four pairs of size 30 cargo shorts. I am not happy with the new belt I got at the Gap, and it’s too messed up to return, so I looked at belts. Found the perfect item marked down to $8.99. Size? “S.”

I am wearing the belt and a pair of the shorts now. This is fantastic.

Now all I have to do is settle on a garlic roll recipe, so I won’t have tempting test batches lying around.

Evangelism is Taunting

Christianity is an irrational offshoot of ancient Jewish tribal rituals, and none of it has any basis in fact. I hope everyone understands that. When God seems to do something in your life, it just means you’re primitive and superstitious, and you probably don’t even believe in proven concepts like Global Warming and Marxism.

But…

Yesterday, a blogger who befriended me years ago sent me an email, saying his life had been turned around. He had given up some harmful vices, and he was working on rebuilding his family, and he happened to see my blog and read about the changes in me, and he had questions for me.

I emailed three Christian friends with the news. It was pretty exciting. You know how wee-weed up superstitious people get.

One of those friends is a rep for the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews. She emailed me back and invited me to some IFCJ functions which will be taking place in DC in the month of May. It all happens during the week of the National Day of Prayer. She couldn’t guarantee me a seat at the IFCJ function that takes place on that day, but I would be able to go to an IFCJ dinner and visit the Holocaust Museum with them.

Hmm. Do I know anyone in DC? Anyone who has been drawing closer to God lately, and who might want to tag along during some of this stuff?

Only Mike. Only the oldest friend I have.

I got on Orbitz, figuring the flights would be insanely expensive. No, sorry. They’re practically paying people to fly to DC that week.

I got back in touch with my friend, and I mentioned Mike. She emailed me back, and she said she was “pretty sure” I would be able to get a seat at the prayer event, and that I would definitely be able to invite Mike to go to the dinner and the Holocaust Museum. He might even be given a seat at the prayer thing.

Okay.

Man, it’s amazing what God can do. Being imaginary and all. Global Warming is imaginary, and it can’t even drown a polar bear.

Here’s more fun. I checked Sondra K., and I happened to see this: some federal judge has decided that the National Day of Prayer is unconstitutional. Oh, man! Good thing I haven’t booked that flight yet!

Obama is actually defending the National Day of Prayer. He may not go to church, but he knows voters go. I’ll be praying he resigns, but I do appreciate his effort.

More interesting news: college football players are about to be forbidden to put messages in their eye black. This is something I know almost nothing about, since I would rather eat tofu on Castro Street with a witch than watch football. Evidently, Christian players have been putting things like “EPH 2:8-10” on their eye black. The NCAA has decided to equate this with standing in the end zone doing dances simulating sexual domination of the opposing team.

It’s pretty much the same thing. Clearly. If you can’t see how a discreet expression of faith is bad sportsmanship and a form of taunting, I can’t hope to explain it to you. It’s one of those things you should understand automatically, like the need to be ashamed when you carry a Down Syndrome baby to term.

When are we going to stop treating Christianity like pornography? It’s amazing how hard we work to hide it. If you’re a homosexual, you’re supposed to be proud and march in parades. If you’re a Christian, you can’t even write it on your face. How did we get here?

We live in a country where public school lunchrooms are banning pork on account of a few Muslim students. I think we can make room for Bible eye black.

Maybe the NCAA is worried that the drunkenness and betting that drive football will suffer if fans are reminded of God’s existence during games. If it weren’t for beer and betting, there would be no such thing as a professional athlete. No one would be able to sit through a whole game, awake.

I wonder what Ephesians 2:8-10 says. Let’s see.

Ha! Check it out:

8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

The central message of Christianity. The thing that makes the gospel “good news.” I’m sure glad little children won’t have to see THAT on their TV screens any more.

I have to go do my Orbitz thing. I can’t believe this is happening.

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More fodder for superstition: I told my dad I was going to DC, and he said he wanted to get me the ticket for my birthday.

COINCIDENCE!

Add Your Brick to the Wall

Richard from It Baffles Science! is changing his life for the good. He is turning over a new leaf and turning things over to God. He and his wife and daughter have had some trials, and he has decided to ally himself with God in order to get himself and his family healed.

He says:

please pray for my wife’s depression, fibromyalgia, anxiety disorder and PTSD. her name is Beth. pray that the spirit of forgiveness will be opened to her, not just for me but for the other’s who have hurt her in her life.

pray for me and my growth and to strengthen my walk and as spiritual leader of my family and the renewal and transformation of our marriage.

If you are a Christian, you know Richard is in for a renewed assault, so if you have time, please intercede for his protection. I am asking God to send him powerful spirits to war on behalf of his family.

I can’t believe what my blog has become. It may finally be useful for something.

Chewy and Tasty

Okay, try this. Make garlic roll dough, but leave the yeast out. Keep oil away from it. Dump the yeast on a flat surface and knead the dough into it, folding the yeast into the dough over and over.

You don’t have to make the blending perfect. Just get it in there pretty good. Like 90% mixed. Make sure it’s instant yeast, not active yeast.

Make the rolls, using the recipe I gave you earlier.

It will take a long time for these rolls to rise. Maybe three hours. That’s okay, though, because they’ll be very good.

I don’t know if this is autolysing or what, but the baked dough has a nice leathery, chewy quality, and the flavor is better. I’ve added yeast late to pizza dough, and it works fine, even without a significant interval between the mixing of the dough and the addition of the yeast.

To make sauce, use about a quarter-cup of garlic cloves. Add around a quarter-cup of oil, a teaspoon of parsley flakes (dry is fine) and a lot of salt. Oops. Before you add the parsley, grind the garlic and oil in a tiny processor. I suppose you can nuke this stuff to cook the garlic, but you don’t have to.

I made rolls using this recipe, and I ate them. All six. Man, they were good. I wish I had time to use this recipe at church, but the day would be over before the crusts rose.

I would post photos, but there is nothing left to photograph.

MAN, I can cook. Pizza and rolls, at least. This is amazing. God will give you some strange and unexpected things. There has to be a reason for this.