Truce Over

As I have said before, genocide can be a good thing. I was referring to God’s efforts, like the flood, the tribulation, and the destruction of the Canaanites and Amalekites, but it’s particularly true of squirrels.

I used to kill squirrels whenever I got a chance, but one day I decided to stop. I was working in my shop, and a mother squirrel kept walking by, carrying material for her nest. Ordinarily, squirrels are afraid to be near people. She walked right by me, over and over as she built the nest in a tree by the corner of my house.

I felt bad when I thought about killing her and her family. She trusted me. Maybe God was telling me something. I let her live.

Then I paid $6000 for truck repairs. Squirrels ate my Dodge’s wiring harness.

Let it suffice to say the ceasefire is over. And they are the ones who violated it.

I got myself a gadget that lures squirrels and shoves a bolt through their heads, but so far, it has only registered one kill. I’m going back to firearms.

I have a few .22 rifles. I believe the best for squirrel control are a Savage A22 and a modified Marlin 60 (made during the dark Remington years). Both are scoped. I also have a Ruger 10/22 with a Sig red dot and a silencer.

My 10/22 breaks down. I don’t mean that in the FIAT sense. I mean it comes apart into two short pieces you can stick in a backpack. Like an assassin’s ridiculous briefcase gun from a 1970’s movie.

In retrospect, I believe I should have gotten the one-piece version. My understanding is that it takes some skill to make the one I bought accurate, and I think it is also known to lose its zero when broken down.

I have gotten bad results in the past using scoped rifles for squirrels. I can’t let that continue. I don’t want to wound animals and have them run off and suffer. I would also like to avoid giving up and using a shotgun.

I believe the solution is to sight the rifles in correctly and memorize the deviations at squirrel distances so I can be really sure where the bullets will go. I also think I need to use the same ammo all the time, so I’m going with CCI Mini-mags. I have a good supply on hand, and they seem to be 1″-accurate at 50 yards in a good gun.

The Marlin Model 60 is a mix of good and bad. The good? It’s cheap. It’s light and handy. It feels good in the hand. The barrels have a great reputation for accuracy. It even looks nice. The bad? The quality control during the last years was like the quality control at Popeyes. The insides are like BB-gun insides. It’s not made for hyper ammunition. The trigger is plastic, and the trigger pull is bad.

I bought my Marlin a few years ago. I sat down and shot at a target maybe 60 feet away. The impacts covered an area the size of a big orange. Unbelievable.

I sent it back, and Marlin didn’t even try to fix it. They sent me a new gun, and I had to do a new background check.

The tube magazine fell off the new gun, and rather than go through the warranty process, I bought parts and fixed it myself.

I bought a trigger, springs, and some other stuff from a company called MCARBO, and now I have a metal trigger that works fairly well, and the gun will handle hyper ammunition if I decide to use it.

A photo I have on hand suggests this gun will do 1 MOA at 50 yards. I’m not positive about it. I wonder if I typed “50” in the file name when I should have typed something like 25. Anyway, it’s not bad.

Ruger is a fantastic gun company, unlike Remington, which owned Marlin when it made my gun. Ruger bought Marlin from Remington when Remington collapsed. The Rugerians must not think much of the Model 60, because they discontinued it. It’s probably one of the two most popular .22 rifles in history, but I guess Ruger’s people know a problem child when they see one.

I think they should bring it back and fix the issues everyone knows about.

The Marlin has a Bug Buster on it. This is a very cheap airgun scope. I like good optics, but I will defend the Bug Buster against all attacks. At short distances, a scope doesn’t need perfect glass or even good tracking. You just have to be able to see your game. You will never need to move your turrets. Just remember how the gun shoots and hold over or under accordingly.

The Bug Buster has a neat illuminated reticle that lights up in red or green, and it also has target turrets, so you don’t lose stuff when you sight it in. You don’t have to remove caps that fall in the grass, and you don’t need a screwdriver.

When I decided to sight my guns in yesterday, I chose the Model 60 and left the A22 in its case. The A22 is better in every imaginable way, but that miserable Model 60 has an allure no one seems to be able to resist.

The A22 is tapped and threaded for a real scope mount. It has a Savage Accu-trigger. It comes with iron sights, too. It has real-rifle guts. You can replace the barrel with a wrench instead of a press. Savage barrels are known for accuracy.

I didn’t want to go out in the manure and set up my bench at 50 yards, so I settled for 35 yards in my backyard. Let’s face it; no compassionate person is going to shoot a squirrel with a .22 if it’s over a hundred feet away. Rimfires are not accurate enough to trust on tiny game that far off.

I used a dubious hunting tripod for a rest, but I still got the gun shooting into half an inch at 35 yards, so it was good enough. I moved the target to 20 yards, which is a more likely distance, and it shot half an inch or so low. Now I have three numbers to remember: 35, 20, and 1/2. Done.

The Ruger surprised me. I didn’t think a red dot would be any good for squirrels, but it put rounds into half an inch at 20 yards just fine.

I ought to be able to assassinate squirrels very reliably now without resorting to the 16-gauge.

I don’t like the Ruger’s trigger. It’s plastic, and it seems like I can feel it bend before the gun goes off. I don’t think it matters at rimfire distances, but I could see myself changing it some day.

The scope is a Sig Romeo5. Very simple. Cheap. The battery lasts for years. You don’t turn the scope on or off. It’s “shake awake,” which means it comes on by itself when the gun is moved.

Now I’m looking for shooting opportunities. I have a great hide. It’s not black or camo. It’s white. It has a refrigerator and running water. It’s my house. I’m going to look out the windows every so often, and when I see a good shot opportunity, I’ll open a door and shoot from inside. It works great.

I might start shooting from upstairs windows. That will give me more chances. Because of the elevation, more squirrels will be significantly below my position, so I will be able to blast them without any concerns about rounds leaving my property.

Maybe I should put a stand up in the yard. That would be really funny.

When my dad and I were looking at houses here, we saw a 5-acre property with a deer stand and feeder. There is freedom here. I can sit in a stand beside my house, holding a semiautomatic rifle with a 25-round magazine, shooting at squirrels, any day of the year.

I have to stop at 12 squirrels per day. I guess that’s the tyranny I face.

Time to get up and look out the window.

The Tree of Domesticity Must be Watered with the Blood of Rodents

I had a bad experience today. I stepped on a baby mouse. Deliberately.

I have a guy coming out today to look at our chimney cap. A squirrel got into my chimney a few years back, and I had to shoot it in the fireplace. I learned that animals had torn up the old chimney cap. Mice were coming in. I had the cap replaced.

Somehow, they still get in. It may be because I hired Certified Roofing to redo my roofs. Certified is a really awful company. They left dozens of nails in my yard. Shingles are still falling off the roof. I’m going to have to get them to fix everything. If they won’t, I’ll have to hire another company and sue Certified.

It may also be that the new chimney cap, installed by a different company, is not getting the job done. Maybe it’s loose.

Whatever is happening, we get an occasional mouse, so I leave poison out along with traps.

I use the white Tomcat traps. They’re really good if you bait them correctly. If you put peanut butter in them, the mice lick it off and walk away satisfied. I use peanut butter to glue big balls of Victor rat poison to the traps. The mice try to pry the balls out, and that’s the end of them.

The other day, I found a dead mouse in my master bedroom, and it looked like its nipples were distended. A mom mouse. I flushed it down the toilet and went on my way.

Today when I got up, I saw a little object wiggling on the floor by the guest bath. It turned out to be a tiny mouse. It was not very coordinated. It couldn’t get up and run effectively. It could scurry on its belly. Its eyes weren’t open.

It was dying of thirst, so it had left its hiding place to look for its mother.

It was depressing. A person’s natural instinct is to take care of small, weak things that need help. And baby mice are cute. But there was nothing to be done for it. You don’t buy a home for a disease-bearing pest and feed it milk with an eye dropper.

I scooped it up in a box in order to avoid getting microbes on me, I took it outside, and I put it on the porch. It found its way to a porch pillar and started slithering around it. Mice are drawn to corners. They like to scamper along the bases of walls. It was natural for it to go around the pillar. It wanted to get away and survive.

I shoved it out where I could get at it, and I stamped on it. Instant death. I scraped the goo off my sandal and pushed the mouse’s remains out where scavengers could see them.

That was it. I was finished. I went in and made breakfast, which I didn’t enjoy a whole lot.

When my wife made it to the table, I told her what had happened. She said, “It had to go. It was a pest.” No husband-shaming. No tears. I was more affected than she was.

This shows what a blessing it is to have a foreign wife. In some other countries, people are still so concerned about taking care of themselves and their families, they don’t really care how mice and rats feel. They still have common sense.

I have a friend who has three sons. They were at my house one day, and we went to my shop. While we were talking, I saw a big roach, and without interrupting our conversation, I turned on the shop vacuum, sucked the roach up, and turned the vacuum off. The eldest son’s jaw dropped. He looked at his mother. He asked if I was just going to leave the roach in the vacuum. I thought it was a strange question. Of course I was.

It took me a second to realize there was a culture clash.

Back when I was having mole problems, I started telling his mother about a trap I had bought, and she cut me off. She understood that the moles had to go, but did not want to hear about it. It upset her.

It didn’t upset me. I wasn’t happy about crushing innocent creatures in a steel trap, but I wasn’t going to lie awake thinking about it.

I guess they live in one of those homes where people scoop up spiders, take them outside, and rehome them.

My wife is from Africa. They don’t rehome bugs. They don’t even like having dogs in the house.

My friend is a wonderful woman, but every home needs a male authority figure to keep things in balance.

“Harmless” spiders bite people while they sleep, and the bites fill up with pus. I had two spider bites. I would say each one produced over a teaspoon of pus. I had to go to a doctor for each one. One left a scar. Now tell me how spiders are our friends.

I have something awful to say. The more decadent and spoiled a society is–the more worthless it has become–the better it treats animals. Being too nice to animals is a luxury for spoiled people have never had to worry about pests eating their food or giving their children diseases. People who have never had to kill an animal to feed or protect a family.

Everyone should be kind to animals when it’s practical, but we go too far. There are people now who complain about cruelty to shrimp, which are just bugs that live under water. Fish barely know they’re alive, and they aren’t capable of real suffering, but every fishing story on the Internet is followed by moronic, enraged comments from twisted people who think every tuna has dreams and a mom.

In its slide into decadence, America has become feminized and matriarchal, and that’s a problem. Matriarchies don’t work. They breed crime and poverty. They produce generations of worthless boys who end up in prison.

Every family needs a father who is willing to be the bad guy. Somebody has to say, “No, we can’t keep the sick dog we found at the dump.” “No, Fluffy the cancerous cat can’t come home from the vet this time.” “No, we can’t save the rat we found in the trap and buy it a nice cage with a wheel in it.”

That guy is me. I have to accept the burden of doing unpopular things now. I’m glad my wife is supportive.

When I was a kid, I found a mouse that was dying, and I put it in a jar and tried to help it. My grandparents and my mother should have ordered me to dump it in the yard, but they didn’t. That was a mistake. I thought its convulsions might be labor. I thought I might be helping it have “babies.” Mice don’t have babies. Babies are human beings. Mice have young.

It died the day I found it. I should have put it on the ground and stepped on it to end its suffering. Because my family failed to step up, I let it suffer for no reason. Their laziness was cruel.

I have also saved a litter of skunks, a white lab mouse, a tiny raccoon, and a baby mockingbird. I think the mouse did all right. A girl took it home with her. I turned the skunks over to my dad’s friend, a big, brash North Carolina sheriff’s deputy, and I was told they would be cared for by a buddy of his who raised skunks. I’m sure he dispatched them the same day. The coon went to a crazy lady with a wildlife rescue operation. I remember her holding the coon in one hand and a cocktail in the other. The mockingbird was torn apart by the same cat that made its rescue necessary in the first place. I found its headless body.

You don’t rescue coons. They are horrible pests, and they carry rabies without symptoms. I can kill raccoons here legally all year. There is no season. Every considerate, informed, compassionate person hates them.

My last encounter with a coon involved me shooting it in the head while it was stuck in a trap. It kept stealing the bait from the trap I was using to get a squirrel that chewed on my very expensive gate. I put a .22 round through its brain and tossed it over the fence for the buzzards, crows, and possums. I didn’t enjoy it, but someone had to do it.

My friend with the three boys has a mother who keeps abandoned animals on a farm. She’s an animal hoarder. The animals don’t get the greatest care. Most would be better off at the end of a veterinarian’s needle. She buys vegetables and provides salad for wild coons every day. This is like injecting yourself with something that makes covid viruses stronger and more prolific. It’s worse than feeding rats. Coons kill pets and livestock, they invade people’s attics, and they are generally a source of misery.

Who is kind? The person who hangs onto animals that have unpleasant lives and prolongs them with substandard care, or the one who steps on orphaned mice to save them hours or days of agony?

A person has a divine right to live. An animal does not. Jesus ate meat. God allows us to turn animals into meals and shoes. We don’t have to ask for permission or forgiveness.

Euthanizing a person is murder. Euthanizing an animal is compassion coupled with strength of character. It takes character to kill an animal you wish you could help.

I showed mercy to a family of squirrels here. Then I paid $6000 to undo the damage they did to my truck. That’s my son’s inheritance and my wife’s food and clothing. Now I’m killing squirrels again.

Florida has changed the squirrel season. It used to last about 5 months. Now you can kill them whenever you want, although you might be hindered briefly if you live next door to a Karen who just moved here from New Jersey. Florida realizes squirrels are a problem. The part of the state north of Tampa was designed for two types of creatures: retirees and squirrels. Every third tree is an oak that rains acorns. Up north, most trees don’t make food for squirrels. Florida is a squirrel paradise.

God requires us to kill. It’s part of the curse he put on the world. Because of sin, he has to kill and punish, so he wants us to know how it feels. Under the Mosaic law, a person who refused to eat meat had to be cut off from Israel. Animals were killed and cooked every day at the temple. God ordered the Hebrews to kill a lot of people as well as their livestock, perhaps because the livestock were raped and used in pagan rituals. God got angry with Saul for showing the wrong people mercy instead of killing them.

The Messianic Age will be different. The world will be like a big petting zoo. Animals won’t eat meat. They’ll get along. Presumably, we’ll be able to touch them and love them. Until then, we have to share in the burden of ending lives.

I’m so glad I didn’t marry a pampered American girl who tries to keep meat off our table or who would stop talking to me if I shot a coyote. I’m so sick of female self-righteousness.

Women are not the answer. God, a male, is. Women never built or protected a society. Women never established police forces or prisons to keep people safe. Women can’t raise children alone without disastrous consequences, but men can. Women vote stupidly. If men didn’t vote, we would be communists right now. No exaggeration.

Men are extremely important. It does no good to bear children if they just rot. Prisons are full of the children of single mothers, not single men.

The other day, I saw George Clooney doing an interview. He looked spindly and frail. I turned to my wife and asked if Clooney’s wife was a vegan. I could tell.

I looked it up. Yes, of course she’s a vegan. He has a matriarchal household. God help his children. And him, for that matter. He must live in a psychological straitjacket. “IS THAT A SINGLE-USE PLASTIC BOTTLE?” “ARE YOU EATING A TACO AND APPROPRIATING CHEE-CA-NO CULTURE?” “OH, NO, YOU DID NOT MISGENDER THE CAT AGAIN!”

I genuinely pity him. And I thank God I’m not around people like that now.

Two days ago, my wife showed me a horrible photo from the web. A woman with a beard, holding a tiny baby that appeared to be malnourished. The website said the mother was a man.

We have been praying for that child. What chance does she have? Her parents are disgusting.

We saw a self-righteous vegan female influencer showing off a baby. It was much too small for its age. Veganism is not for babies or children. It’s much worse for them than it is for adults. It’s hard to make a vegan work for an adult, but making it work for a baby takes much more effort and knowledge.

The freak with the beard disturbed me and made me wish the world would end. I wish Yeshua would come for us today. We are completely finished as a nation and a world. When you can publish a photo of an unconscionable abomination and get a flood of likes, you live in a world that is not worth preserving for another day.

The squirrels will continue to die, as will the mice, coons, and whatever else gets on our nerves. If you have a wife who will let you be a man, you should step up and accept the honor. If you marry an American girl who voted for Kamala, you won’t get much sympathy from me when the misery kicks in.

DC Struck by Sudden Shortage of Crack, Cheap Wine

The unthinkable has happened. Well, that’s wrong. It was definitely thinkable. A lot of us expected it. Joe Biden has pardoned his son, one-man crime wave Hunter Biden.

It’s very interesting from a political standpoint as well as a legal standpoint.

Let’s see. What crimes has Little Biden committed?

1. He appears to have been second-in-command in a Biden family bribery operation, selling his dad’s favors. It appears other relations, such as his aunt and at least one uncle, are involved. Little Biden was under investigation for lots of related stuff, including his alleged lobbying for Ukrainian firm Burisma, a company he began working for in April of 2014.

2. He lied on an FBI background check when buying a gun. That’s a felony. A jury convicted him.

3. He evaded federal income taxes.

4. He ignored a subpoena and refused to testify before Congress. Ordinarily, I would not take that seriously, but two Trump associates went to prison for the same thing. Of course, they were prosecuted under a different tier of the injustice system.

Am I missing anything? I hope I haven’t. It’s a very complicated story.

There is no point in going through the long list of Big Biden denials. They’re all over the web right now. Even leftists are posting them. They are shocked. Just as shocked as they were when they suddenly realized Big Biden was senile, after 4 years of falling down, shaking hands with imaginary people, and forgetting where he was.

Big Biden repeatedly, indisputably asserted that he would not pardon Little Biden, and his press flak did the same thing from the White House podium. I can’t wait to see her tell the White House Press Corps Biden never said he wouldn’t pardon Hunter.

Where is this woman going to get a job next year? At least Jen Psaki was reasonably bright. It’s hard to believe any media organization would hire this other one, but on the other hand…Don Lemon. The right complexion, sexual fetish, and political stance can outweigh cognitive and moral deficits.

Big Biden lied. Incredible! No one saw a thing like that coming! Because he has always been so honest in the past.

I saw a hilarious 20th-century video of Biden saying he was knocked out of the race for the presidency because he lied. He called himself a liar. He didn’t say he misspoke or whatever. If you haven’t seen it, it’s because the 21st-century press kept it quiet. Even Big Biden has admitted Big Biden lies.

He said it very casually. He seemed to think it was funny. It was like he was admitting he cut in line at Chipotle.

The scope of the pardon is enormous. It spans a decade, up to the day when Big Biden issued it. If we find out Little Biden robbed a bank or sold 10-year-old prostitutes to depraved oligarchs, he can’t be charged unless there is a way to turn his crimes into violations of state law.

Maybe Alvin Bragg could help us there. He’s exactly the kind of unethical prosecutor we would need.

I’m sure it’s a coincidence that Big Biden’s pardon goes into effect retroactively just before Little Biden dove into Burisma.

The diary isn’t real, but we’ll imprison the lady who stole it anyway. The laptop isn’t real, but we’ll go after the people who publicized it anyway. The Burisma scandal isn’t real, but let’s pardon Hunter anyway.

It’s totally reasonable to pardon people who are clearly innocent. In Biden World.

So what’s happening here?

Little Biden had a sweetheart deal that would have spared him prison time, ending prosecution on the tax and gun charges, but the judge blew it up because she felt it was unfair and would have had the effect of a blanket pardon for unrelated future prosecutions. On the surface, it looks like a) the prosecutors were in cahoots with his defense team or b) the prosecutors were stupid and the defense team fooled them into writing Biden a lifetime pardon. Option b is completely plausible. The best and brightest generally do not go into government work.

Little Biden did not try to restructure the plea. Instead, he pleaded guilty. Why?

Let’s go ahead and be cynical.

By pleading guilty, he saved a ton of money in attorneys’ fees. Biden has very expensive representation. A second trial and two appeals would have cost him millions, in all likelihood. I don’t know why high-profile defendants hire such overpriced lawyers, but they do. Dealing with a sentencing should be much less work than a trial. Little or no research. No witness prep. No expert witnesses with huge fees. The list goes on.

Once he pleaded (not “pled”) guilty, all he had to do was sit back and wait to be pardoned.

Did he know he would be pardoned? Of course. He and the Big Guy had a deal. Otherwise, why plead guilty? It saved him money, but barring a pardon, it also assured he would go to prison.

Big Biden is one of the most notorious and shameless liars ever to stink up the Oval Office. Of course he lied, repeatedly, when he said he would not pardon Little Biden.

Trump would almost certainly have pardoned Little Biden. He is going to pardon a bunch of J6 martyrs, and he wants to be able to say he was as good to a political enemy’s son as he was to them. Even if they didn’t exist, he would still want to pardon Little Biden in order to appear magnanimous and get a distraction out of the way while putting his regime in place.

What about Kamala?

That’s a tough one.

I’m sure she originally planned to pardon Little Biden. She probably discussed it with Big Biden before he shuffled out of the race and used her to gut Barack Obama. It was probably a condition for his agreement to, for all practical purposes, appoint her as the Democratic candidate.

It appears that Biden sabotaged her repeatedly, however. I believe he appointed Kamala in order to prevent Barack Obama, who was in the process of knocking him out of the candidate spot for a second time, from installing his own protege, Chris Coons, who will now join Admiral Stockdale and Tim Kaine on the list of forgotten could-have-beens.

If Kamala had won, it would have been in spite of Big Biden. Maybe she would have backed out on a promise to pardon Little Biden. I doubt Big Biden was willing to take a chance.

I think Kamala was not a sure thing, and Biden did not want to give Trump a PR victory. I believe this is why he relieved himself all over his already-tainted legacy.

Is Hunter out of the woods now? Not yet.

There is some chance Trump’s DOJ will start to take the Biden family bribery operation seriously. If that happens, Hunter can be forced to testify. Thanks to Big Biden, he will not be able to refuse to answer questions. He can’t assert his Fifth Amendment rights because he can’t incriminate himself. He can, however, be imprisoned indefinitely for contempt of court for refusing to testify. He can also be imprisoned for perjury or lying to the FBI.

Sometimes prosecutors get people to testify against their accomplices by threatening them with prosecution. That won’t work on Hunter now. Another tool is immunity. They can give people immunity in order to strip them of Fifth Amendment protection. Big Biden just did that for future prosecutors.

What will the Bidens do now?

If Big Biden wants to kill the scandal permanently, he will have to pardon himself and every other individual involved in the family’s crimes. Alleged. He could also pardon everyone but himself, counting on the GOP to be unwilling to prosecute a former president.

Whatever Biden’s many faults are, he is very protective of his children. His DOJ got a woman imprisoned for the petty theft of his daughter’s diary. I don’t know whether his passion for nepotism extends sufficiently to other relatives to motivate him to pardon them.

It’s wild, seeing leftists scream about the pardon. They are very angry at Joe, but, predictably and incredibly, they have managed to turn Trump into the problem. Now Trump will pardon all the J6 defendants! The dangerous revolutionaries who pretty much took over the entire country by getting buzzed on cheap beer and throwing a halfhearted, weaponless, planless riot that lasted a couple of hours and resulted in no deaths except for the murder of an unarmed woman who tried to climb through a window.

If Batista had faced this kind of coup, Castro would have died in prison. This is the kind of revolution deposed tyrants wish they could have faced.

If the J6 defendants, and not Barack Obama, had staged a coup against Biden’s presidential campaign, he would have been on the ballot through November 5.

Trump was going to pardon the nonviolent J6 scapegoats anyway. No one should spend years or decades in prison for walking through the Capitol during a riot. Some of the J6 people are in prison for doing much less.

Is Joe Biden crazy and corrupt enough to pardon himself and his family? I guess he is. If he is willing to abandon all pretense of honesty and respect for the law in order to save Hunter from a year or two at a Club Fed, he is probably willing to go all the way.

I don’t care about Little Biden skating on the gun and tax charges, because rapists and murderers are acquitted every day, but the bribery thing is important. It needs to be fully exposed and investigated, regardless of whether he can be charged.

I don’t know whether Trump has the stomach for it. Guess we’ll find out.

We Could have Done Better

Today my wife told me leftists are criticizing conservatives, saying we’re hypocritical for using the homosexual song “YMCA” to promote Donald Trump. I told her I agreed with them.

I don’t really think conservatives are hypocrites for promoting homosexuality. I was speaking loosely. Christians who promote homosexuality, including songs like “YMCA,” are hypocritical.

You can be very conservative and very hostile to Christianity. You can’t be Spirit-led and be anything but conservative, and all leftists who claim Yeshua is with them are wrong, but you can be conservative and hate God. You can be a witch or a homosexual or whatever else you want.

Maybe there are people who don’t know the history and meaning of the song. There must be, because there are adults who don’t know Joe Biden was an object of universal ridicule for about 30 years. There are adults who have no idea Bruce Jenner was a gold-medal-winning Olympic athlete.

“YMCA” stands for Young Men’s Christian Association. During the last century, many big cities had YMCA’s. If you were male and you didn’t have much, you could rent a room and get fed very cheaply at the YMCA, or the Y, as most people called it. When comedians joked about poverty, they would mention the Y. “My wife got my house, and I’m staying at the Y.”

There was also an organization called the Young Women’s Christian Association.

At some point, homosexuals started taking over YMCA’s. These were places full of vulnerable young men who needed money and opportunities. They were same-sex environments. They had dormitories. They had shower rooms. What more could a sexual predator want?

I’ll digress, as I usually do.

I won my city’s spelling bee, so my local paper flew my mother and I to DC so I could be in the national bee, which I lost because I spent, literally, one or two minutes studying. I didn’t realize what the contest was. They gave people a word list that was supposed to be helpful. Obviously (now), the point was to learn all the words on the list. I didn’t do that. I thought, absurdly, that the bee was about aptitude. That makes no sense. An aptitude test would require everyone to spell the same words.

The people who ran the bee brought a celebrity on board. A homosexual, now that I think about it. Will Geer, best known for his role and Grandpa Walton.

What? You didn’t know he was a homosexual? I didn’t, either. He was a hard core red who ran with a very unsavory crowd, and he also liked the boys. He served as a sort of emcee for the bee.

I have only asked for one celebrity autograph in my life, and it was Will Geer’s. My mom kept pushing me to ask. I thought autographs were stupid. At the final banquet, as he was making his way to the front in a weird, attention-seeking getup comprised of a grey suit and something like a Navajo blanket, I stood up and yelled, “Mr. Geer! Got time for an autograph!” I felt like an idiot, and he probably agreed. But graciously, he walked over to me and signed.

They brought the kids together for activities. One activity was a guessing game. They sat us on a ballroom floor in circles. Each one of us had a sheet of paper on taped to his back. On the sheet of paper, the organizers wrote names. The names of famous people. Our job was to ask questions and figure out who was on our backs.

I got absolutely nowhere. I don’t recall, but I’m sure the other kids were no help when I asked questions. They had an easier time. Their celebrities were people like Gerald Ford and John Wayne.

I was extremely frustrated.

Eventually, they told us to look at the names. Guess what my paper said on it. “Bette Midler.”

I am not making this up.

I asked, “Who is Better Midler?”, pronouncing her last name “MY-dler.”

At the time, she was not well-known to most Americans. She had had a top-selling album the year before, but she was years away from doing any acting.

Who was she popular with? Homosexuals. She had built her career performing in homosexual bathhouses where homosexuals gathered in the dark and sodomized each other without so much as an introduction. Bathhouses helped spread AIDS far faster than it could ever have spread among heterosexuals.

Gaetan Dugas, the airline steward who has been called “Patient Zero,” used to spread AIDS in bathhouses, deliberately. He would have sex in the dark with men he didn’t know, and then he would show them his Kaposi’s sarcoma lesions. He told them he had “gay cancer” and that they had it, too.

My memories are hazy, but I think there was a famous Y on 72nd Street where Midler performed. A lot of information from that era has been censored.

Imagine, thinking a junior high kid would know who Bette Midler was during the Ford administration.

I suppose there were some friends of Dorothy helping run the spelling bee. “Everyone knows Bette! She’s fabulous!”

The song “YMCA” is about sexual predators luring young victims to a homosexual hangout so they can be groomed and sodomized, hopefully with consent.

“Young man.” What do homosexuals like? Young men. After all, they’re men, and men love young bodies. Sorry, ladies. A woman who is a 9 at 16 is likely to be a 4 at 40.

“You’re in a new town.” You have no support system. There is no one to protect you. You are highly motivated to do what you have to in order to get food, shelter, and a job.

“You can get yourself clean.” A strange thing to mention. It’s a reference to the showers.

“Put your pride on the shelf.” No need to explain that.

“YMCA” was created and performed by the Village People, a homosexual group whose members dressed as straight men in very masculine roles. A construction worker, a motorcycle cop, an Indian chief, a cowboy, a soldier, and an outlaw biker. I think the costumes varied a little.

Homosexuals who take the female role want straight men to fall in love with them and have sex with them, which is obviously not possible, so they cosplay as straight men. They want to be Cinderella, but Prince Charming could not be more grossed out.

Another digression.

When I was in junior high and high school, I knew a kid I’ll call Renaldo. Renaldo’s dad was some kind of businessman. He had a reputation for abusing people and being dishonest. One day, the cops found his dead body on a bench at a park beside Biscayne Bay. The park was two blocks from my house and one block from Renaldos’ house. Renaldo’s dad had killed himself. The rumor was that he was going to be charged with crimes.

I just found a newspaper reference saying he overdosed. He was 49.

Renaldo was very gay, and he loved to perform. His mother was very submissive, and he was nasty to her and told her what to do. Renaldo was very tough and assertive. I recall him as a person who did not start trouble with anyone in school, but I saw him humiliate a little bully with no fear whatsoever.

One day, I happened to pass their house, and I saw that Renaldo had turned their garage into a stage. It had obviously been built by professionals. The garage was filled with a raised platform.

Renaldo was on the stage in a straw hat, a jacket with green and white stripes, and white pants. He was holding a rattan cane out in front of himself, as performers used to do, and he was singing and dancing.

Very odd.

Some kids were in the driveway, watching.

When we were in high school, Renaldo and I carpooled. A group of parents divided the job of transportation up, and one day a week, Renaldo’s mom drove us in her metallic-green Olds Toronado with a white vinyl top.

The Village People came to town during this time, because their song was very big. Our school was in Coconut Grove, which was a homosexual neighborhood. While we were headed to school one day, Renaldo told us the Village People had stayed at the Coconut Grove Hotel while in Miami, and he had stayed with them.

So he would have been around 15, and he was staying with grown men, presumably enjoying Bible studies and receiving tutoring so he could pass math. I’m sure.

I’m not saying statutory rape was going on. For that matter, I’m not even saying Renaldo actually stayed with the Village People. But he said he did.

The last time I saw Renaldo, we were at our 10th high school reunion. AIDS had ravaged the homosexual population. I have seen estimates saying 20% of them died. AIDS used to be a death sentence. People died horribly, with diarrhea and vomiting. Some looked like skeletons. They died covered with big black growths.

He was living in New York. I think he was somehow involved with the theater, but I doubt he was performing. He had no talent, and he could never have passed for straight. A 1990 credits list for an obscure movie says he was an assistant casting director.

Regarding AIDS, he said he no longer had friends. He said he had acquaintances. Very sad. AIDS had gutted his social circle.

It was fitting that the Village People stayed at the Coconut Grove Hotel, in Miami’s gayest area. They named themselves after Greenwich Village, and the Grove was Miami’s homologue.

Anyway, now you know all about “YMCA.”

Anyone who thinks Trump is a Christian figure is wrong. I think he believes, but he’s a secular-minded president. He appoints homosexuals. A homosexual helped him win in Pennsylvania. He’s not going to go out and crusade for Yeshua. He’ll be better to Christians and Israel than a Democrat, but he dances to a song about homosexual predation, and he knows what it means. He’s not a sign that America has turned around. Things will continue to deteriorate.

Taste 9; Aerodynamics 1

Hope everyone is having a great Thanksgiving. God has been kinder to us than I can say.

Our Thanksgiving has been marred by my wife’s admission that she is not crazy about boneless turkey. We had a talk about it, and I said I would make turkey the regular inferior way, and I even offered to make prime rib, but she wants to go boneless again, so that’s what we’re doing.

I told her turkey is mandatory on Thanksgiving, even for people who don’t like it. This is one of the rules of living in America. It’s like America’s Passover lamb. But I wanted her to enjoy what she ate.

I asked what Zambians ate on Christmas, and she said chicken with rice. I told her she should go ahead and fix it this year. She was not interested at all. Prime rib, baby. Flavor wins out over nostalgia.

Most people who don’t like turkey have eaten turkey by people who don’t cook well. Regarding my own creations, I will not lie. My turkeys are generally spectacular. They’re tender and juicy, and they are packed full of cornbread stuffing laced with champagne.

We got lucky and found a small turkey this time. Misguided turkey fryers usually snap them up, and everyone else ends up with a bird weighing at least 15 pounds. They’re harder to prepare. They take ages to thaw and cook. Only a big family can finish one before it goes bad.

Remember all those times when your mom or wife said, “It’s not done yet. Maybe another hour”, and you ended up eating at 8 p.m.? That’s because Americans buy turkeys that are too big.

Our bird was 11 pounds before I removed its bones. Nice.

I made the usual cornbread-and-sausage stuffing. I am not making extra to go on the side. It’s all in the bird.

We’re taking it easy this year. No pumpkin pie. It’s a loser desert. Nothing green. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, yams, fresh rolls, cranberry relish, and pecan pie with a little bourbon in it. Korbel brut, remaining from preparing the turkey, stuffing, and gravy. Good enough.

Not sure what the wife will drink.

I used Woodford Reserve bourbon in the pie. It’s pricey. I got it a few years ago because I was told that if I liked Knob Creek, I would like Woodford Reserve.

I found Woodford Reserve harsh. I don’t like it at all. When you buy expensive booze, you’re paying for complexity and smoothness. Without the smoothness, it might as well be Old Crow.

Maybe it’s better if you put water in it. Anyway, I use it for flavoring food now. Usually, I use Jack Daniel’s, which is also harsh, but I need to get rid of the Woodford Reserve.

I used raspberry Jell-O in the relish. Really nice. I hope it comes out nice and firm. It was too loose last year. This time, I omitted half of the water from the Jell-O.

I’m cooking the turkey at 250° so it will be tender and juicy. I plan to yank it when the stuffing hits 157°. The USDA recommends 165°, but they’re also way off the mark with steak and pork. Fricking lawyers. Any parasite that can survive 145° in a pork roast has earned the right to give me trichinosis.

Didn’t hurt RKF. All that much.

The web says the USDA now recommends 145° for pork. I believe that’s new. I’m pretty sure they used to recommend 155° or 165°, which are temperatures guaranteed to kill the flavor.

I see sources recommending 140° for turkey, so I may go lower than 157°. I saw a chart that lists temperatures and the times it takes salmonella to die. At 145°, salmonella dies in 13.8 minutes. I can pretty much guarantee that if my turkey hits 145°, there will be no way to get it to the table before 13.8 minutes pass. More like 25, I would think.

Have a wonderful dinner, and be sure to lock out the relatives who ruin it every year. I sincerely hope everyone who shows up at your table either loves Trump or is willing to shut up for a few hours.

Thank You, Drunk Monks

I am brewing again.

I took some time off for some reason I no longer remember. I’m not sure there was a reason. Laziness may have been involved.

Early this year, I stocked up on grain, hops, and yeast, but I let things slide. My house is full of brewing supplies. I had to get back at it.

I am out of wheat ale, and my amber/orange lager, Last Trump Lager (may be changed to Final Trump Lager) is definitely stale. My supply of Emergency Management Ale is dangerously low. My first imperial stout needs to be drunk and replaced with a recipe I like better.

Today I brewed my first batch of Happy Halfwit Christmas Ale.

My first heavy beer is called Happy Halfwit because it has a lot of wheat in it. It’s sort of like a Belgian ale. Belgians call their wheat beers witbiers. My beer’s grain bill is around 1/3 wheat, so I decided to call it Halfwit. Poetic license. No one would think Thirdwit was…witty.

About two years ago, when I started getting back into brewing, I bought a bunch of store beers to sharpen up my palate. I bought St. Bernardus Christmas Ale, from Belgium. I believe it’s a quadrupel, or what the BJCP calls a Strong Dark Belgian Ale.

When I first got the beer, I was not crazy about it. It had a coarseness to it. Too much funk, as I have said in an earlier post. I bought a 4-pack, and until today, I had two in the fridge.

It improved a great deal while I was debating throwing it out. The funkiness went away, and it became like Belgian beer Kool-Aid. Very easy to drink, but still complex.

Today I made something like a Belgian Dark Strong Ale, but I used a lot of wheat, while Belgian Dark Strong Ales are made with barley alone. Stunts like this make other homebrewers think I’m weird, but I really like the beers I make. They are my favorites.

It seems like all the great Belgian beers are made by monks. It’s like they spent the Dark Ages and the Renaissance doing nothing but lying around drunk. They didn’t stop with beer. They also invented a lot of well-known hard liquors. Supposedly, the European wine industry was developed by monks.

Why were they drunk all the time? Was life really that dull?

My brewing method is pretty slick now. I have it dialed in. I mash and boil in a 10-gallon pot straddling two stove burners. A mesh bag goes in the kettle to hold the grain. I strain the results and pour them into a 6-gallon stubby Torpedo keg, using a big saucepan. I put the keg in the pool so the wort chills fast. Then I pitch the yeast, add a valve to control the building CO2, and put the keg in a freezer with a Chinese temperature controller on it.

It’s really simple.

When I got back into brewing, I assumed other people had made a lot of progress with tools and methods, and I foolishly bought a computerized German machine that takes grain and turns it into wort. It was a stupid thing to do. I blew about a thousand dollars on something that should cost three hundred, and it was a pain to take apart and clean.

Now it’s just me, the kettle, and the bag. I spend about a third as much time cleaning and putting stuff away. And the beer is just as good.

I guess I shouldn’t make it sound like there has been no progress, because the kettle-and-bag method is relatively new. It’s called brew in a bag, or BIAB. But while it’s progress, it involves a setup more primitive than the one I started using in 2001.

There are guys out there using HERMS equipment. I’m not going to Google to find out what HERMS stands for, but it involves several huge stainless containers and at least one pump. I would quit brewing if I had to wash all that.

Here is the thing: men love gadgets. If we didn’t, women would be living in burrows and behind bushes. We love tinkering and engineering. When you get started brewing, it’s easy to fall in love with unnecessary machinery. You begin with the idea you’re going to make really good beer, and you end up trying to become a really good mechanic instead.

There are guys out there with big, shiny, three-vessel systems that take up their entire garages, and they could be using 1) a pot, and 2) a bag.

It’s not like BIAB is a compromise. BIAB people win prizes all the time.

I’ll just say it. You have to be stupid to buy a fancy brewing system. I know, because I bought one. I should sell it.

To a stupid person.

Okay, “stupid” is not the right word. But a person with knowledge and common sense would buy something else.

The beer I made today will probably ferment out in 4 days. I know this because ale I used as my starting point fermented out in three. This new one is a little heavier. I should be drinking it in 10 days or less.

So that’s nice.

In other news, our wonderful Lord has given me more revelation, and I should put it on the blog.

There is always symmetry in the supernatural. That’s the starting point. Look for symmetry, and you will save yourself a lot of time in the school of hard knocks. You will learn more quickly.

Pride is horrible. I have written about this. It goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit goes before a fall. Self-confidence is poison.

I have also said that God showed me that pride is a fence we build to protect our iniquities. We don’t like to listen or change, so we make excuses and dig our heels in. We protect our bad habits and delusions as though they were our children, because we think we know better than everyone else.

Pride is also a fence we build to keep God away. The Bible makes this clear. It says he is close to the humble but far from the proud.

If we build a fence to keep correction out, and it keeps God away, who is it bringing near? Evil spirits. Symmetry.

Here is revelation: by the symmetry of the supernatural, humility is a fence we build to keep destruction and evil spirits away. It’s a fence that surrounds God and ourselves, keeping him close to us.

Humility is actually power and victory. No one ever teaches this. They don’t know. They’re too busy telling us to work hard, grin while we are abused and defeated, and give them money to buy more jets.

If you’re humble, God will be close to you, so he will keep evil spirits far off, and he will bless you in every way.

Think of this: in the Old Testament, who saw God? One person, as far as we know. Maybe Adam saw him before the fall, but Moses is the only person we can say saw him, for sure.

What quality did Moses have?

No one was more humble than Moses. Look it up. The Bible says it.

I didn’t see the connection until God showed it to me yesterday.

Moses was close to God. Moses was given so much power and authority, he was able to stroll up to the ruler of Egypt and tell him off.

The one thing that Moses did that got him in trouble with God was an act of pride. God told him to speak to a rock and make water come out, and Moses struck the rock instead, making it look like human strength solved the problem. For this, Moses was kept out of Israel.

We tend to think of humility as something that makes us weak. We think it empowers others to abuse us. But it’s actually the entrance to the strong fortress the Bible keeps telling us about. It’s safety and power.

I wish I had known this a long time ago.

I hope this is useful to you. Now I’ll finish this beer and go to bed.

Home Brewery Roars Back to Life

This was written on November 25.

It’s brew day minus one. I’m making Happy Halfwit Christmas Ale tomorrow.

I make a heavy ale called Happy Halfwit, and it’s magnificent. It contains a huge amount of wheat, which is weird for a heavy ale. I use Abbaye yeast, which was supposedly derived from Chimay dregs. This ale is sweet and very strong. Absolutely perfect. And it gets better with time. I made my last batch in January, and it’s at least as good as it ever was.

Almost two years ago, I got myself some St. Bernardus Christmas Ale, from Belgium. It’s dark and pretty heavy. It’s considered a quadrupel (spelled “quadrupel”), which means it’s what Americans call a “Strong Dark Belgian Ale.” It comes in at 10% alcohol, according to the Sint Bernardus (spelled “Sint Bernardus”) brewery.

I like this ale, but it has some funk to it. Belgians do weird things with beer, and sometimes their beer has smells and flavors people have compared to horse sweat and manure. I tried a Belgian-inspired ale made in America, and it made me think of Carnation Milk that had been in the can for 30 years, multiplied by 5.

I am trying to make a dark ale with little or no funk. If it has some banana overtones, which Abbaye sometimes produces, that’s fine, as long as they’re not overwhelming.

I’m using Special B malt as an ingredient. People tell me I’m using too much, but then they also claim I’m crazy to use Sabro hops, which are known to make beer taste a little bit like a pina colada. They say the malt will make the beer taste like prune juice. They may be right, but I already have the grain, and I can’t separate the Special B out. I’m going to go with it and change it next time if I need to.

I’m making a yeast starter. That means I’m taking a little packet of expensive yeast, mixing it with a malt extract solution, and letting the yeast multiply overnight. The idea is to overwhelm the beer and any microbes that might survive the brewing process. A starter is supposed to guarantee fermentation will go all the way, and it reduces the likelihood of infection by stray germs.

I am shooting for an original (prefermentation) specific gravity of 1.092, which is very heavy. Specific gravity is a ratio. It’s the density of the beer compared to the density of water. A lot of beers come in at around 1.040. Mine are generally around 1.055. A figure of 1.092 means there will be a lot of work for the yeast to do.

Sometimes, for reasons only yeast knows, yeast gives up, and then you’re stuck with beer that isn’t quite beer. I want to avoid that.

My new ale should come in at about 10% alcohol, which is perfect for cold nights by the fire. Not that I get much in the way of cold nights, but still.

I should be able to finish brewing tomorrow. Then I’ll stick the beer in a dedicated fridge at a fixed temperature. After that, I plan to make some of my favorite amber ale, and I need to replace my Last Trump lager, which is getting old.

I’ve been drinking my Steppe Brother Imperial Stout. I made it a long time ago, and I found it too sweet. I increased the carbonation level, and that added carbonic acid to the beer. Carbonic acid gives club soda its sharp flavor.

Here’s a photo of this beer in a miniature pint glass.

I like the beer now, and I’ve realized it’s not a failure. It’s a fantastic beer. It’s just sweeter than I intended when I wrote the recipe. I have grain for a new version, so I’ll be making that soon.

Other people who really like sweet beer would love this stout. If you can stand milk stout, which contains no milk but is full of unfermentable lactose, this beer will seem dry to you.

Imperial stout is a style the British exported to Russia. It was made very strong and dark. The intention was to make a beer that could survive an ocean crossing, supposedly. If you want to taste a perfect Imperial Stout, by a 4-pack of Old Rasputin, by North Coast Brewing.

After making my own imperial, I contacted North Coast, and they suggested I crank up the bitterness in my beer, so I’ll be doing that, going up to 76 IBU’s with Citra hops. As you might guess, they have a citrusy flavor.

My first batch of Steppe Brother fermented out in three days, which is crazy. I used a psycho yeast called Kveik Lutra. Kveik yeasts come from Norway or Sweden or something, and they are turbocharged. I got good results the first time around, so I’ll be using Lutra again.

Hoping to have a nice festive beverage available by Christmas.

This is Exactly What’s Supposed to Happen

So why are so many Democrats telling other Democrats to abandon and avoid their conservative and Christian friends and relatives? Many Americans seem to think this is a bad thing, but it’s not. Not for Christians, at least.

It’s a very interesting thing from a supernatural standpoint. It’s part of Satan’s counterfeiting operation.

There is always symmetry in the supernatural. Every good thing has a dark reflection. And Satan is not smart enough or powerful enough to come up with anything original. He copies God, and you know what they say about the sincerest form of flattery.

In aping God, he glorifies him. There is no way to avoid it.

A long time ago, God showed me that the fundamental activity taking place on Earth and in the heavens is a genocidal war. There are factions, and they want to annihilate each other.

There are people who belong to God, and then there are people who belong to Satan. They make up an overwhelming majority of human beings. They always have.

God is in the reproduction business. He created the world so he could have children and increase the size of his loving family. It sounds like a platitude, but love really is the best thing there is, and it’s the reason we and everything around us exist. God created humanity so we could come to know him and go to be with him in a perfect environment of love and peace. Without human beings, the world serves no purpose. Satan, on the other hand, wants to get rid of everyone who knows God.

You can see the genocidal spirit at work in Genesis. Adam and Eve had two sons. One was holy, and the other was worthless. The worthless one murdered the holy one, not just because he was angry, but because he wanted to prevent his descendants–his nation–from existing.

In Genesis 4:10, God told Cain, “The voice of thy brother’s blood crieth unto me from the ground.” Even leftist Google AI admits that the Hebrew word translated “blood” is plural, indicating God was not just referring to Abel, but also the descendants he would have had if Cain had not murdered him. Cain committed genocide.

When God flooded the world, he committed genocide. Of course, what he did was completely correct. He’s God. Genocide itself is not evil. It depends on the motivation.

Haman tried to commit genocide. So did the powerful Jews who imprisoned and murdered Messianic Jews after the crucifixion. Paul committed genocide before he repented and accepted Yeshua as God.

What is the purpose of all this? Ultimately, it’s separation. God has prepared places for his children in heaven, and we will go there eventually. Everything will be perfect. There will be no Antifa and BLM riots. There will be no pogroms. There will be no Islam. There will be no pride marches or sexual perversion. Crime and hatred won’t exist.

It isn’t possible for God’s children to live in a realm of pure blessing while Satan’s children are among them. They have to be taken away from us permanently. It’s not enough for them to be subdued. Just being around them would ruin heaven for us.

Just being around them is rough on us right here on Earth. They torment and tempt us. Their women parade around in lewd outfits, and they fill the world with lewd entertainment. They say filthy things which do harm when we hear them. They insult God.

They also murder us all the time, although the press ignores it. They steal what God gives us. They imprison us. They keep us from getting jobs. But even if they didn’t do those things, we are harmed just by seeing and hearing them. We are like Lot, who was vexed continually by the behavior of the cruel, arrogant perverts around him.

One of the worst curses in the Bible is to have your name and memory forgotten. This is the curse Orthodox Jews speak to Yeshua every day. They call him “Yeshu,” which is an initialism for, “May his name and memory be blotted out.”

As Abel represented his nation, Yeshua represents us. To blot out the name and memory of Yeshua, our enemies will have to blot out our names and memories, too. Genocide.

I’m not saying Orthodox Jews sit around plotting to kill off gentiles. That isn’t true. But the ones who curse Yeshua are also cursing us, even if they don’t realize it. You can’t curse a man with erasure without cursing his children. Satan put them up to it, because he fully understands what the curse means.

He also wants to kill the Jews off. This is why Muslims are constantly trying to remove every Jew from the earth.

My wife and I pray every day, and one of the things we pray for is that God would show us the worthless people and spirits around us and remove them from our lives permanently. We know we need to have our exposure to them limited. It’s bad for us. It will be bad for our son. It makes life unpleasant. It puts us in danger.

This prayer comes from God. It’s correct. It’s necessary. But if you look at it objectively, you can’t help but realize we are doing something very much like what Satan’s children are doing.

“Don’t have Thanksgiving dinner with your conservative relatives.” “Cut them off.” “Don’t talk to them.” The separation movement on the leftist side comes from Satan. It’s a dark reflection of the prayers God’s children pray, asking God to remove the wicked from among them.

Symmetry.

Satan hates leftists even though they do his work for him, and like God, he wants to take his own children to be with him, but unlike God, he wants to take them to a place where they will exist in perfect, eternal torment. Our very presence hinders him, just as the presence of the godless harms us.

The people on Tiktok and Twitter who order other people to cut off conservatives are doing something like prophecy. In prophecy, the Holy Spirit speaks through people who yield to him. The people telling others to cut conservatives off are yielding to dirty, stinking spirits who speak through them.

What about censorship? It’s the same basic thing. If you’re Satan, you are completely right when you say the words of people who belong to God are harmful to your movement. Our words pull people away. They expose the plan. They show how right and how good God is. Our words threaten Satan’s kingdom, so our existence threatens it.

This is why leftists keep saying our words are violence, while claiming burning cities and rioting are expression.

Our words probably cause evil spirits a great deal of pain and fear. I sure hope so.

There is nothing wrong with separating yourself from useless people. It’s the correct thing to do. Yeshua did it. He showed up, demonstrated God’s power and goodness, accepted whoever listened, and left the rest behind. Quickly. He didn’t allow himself to be manipulated into becoming an enabler. He didn’t spend his life begging and bribing and compromising.

A Christian is required to be the head and not the tail. When you show God to people and offer to help them get to know him, you’re leading. When you start compromising to get them to pretend to convert, you are a follower.

Yeshua sat among drunks. He didn’t do shots or play drinking games with them. He showed them a way out, and then he moved on. This is how we should behave. Instead we have churches telling everyone sodomy is wonderful and excoriating people who quote God’s word to them.

“It’s worth it if just one person is saved.” This is a lie. If you don’t repent, you’re not saved. We don’t have the authority to lower God’s standards.

People are getting so crazy now, they’re like hollowed-out puppets. Demons come in, and at first they persuade and push. Eventually, there isn’t much left of the person they targeted, and he becomes a skin full of demons. When you watch the nuts screaming and shrieking about their terror of Trump and conservatives, you’re listening to demons, not people. You’re listening to projection. The demons are describing the torment they want to inflict on Christians and Jews.

We should expect things to get worse. Separation will increase. Violence against us will increase. People who talk of healing and unity are virtue-signaling for Satan. “How can you be against peace and unity?”

Satan loves to do this. He positions himself as the god of love, and if you respond in righteousness, he tells people you’re a heartless Nazi. You’re the problem.

The accusers are full of hate, not love, and they promote a false peace.

Appeasers always get false peace, and it never lasts.

Yeshua said this:

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

If you read that and then watch the Tiktok mental cases, you will understand what Satan is doing through them.

To some extent, I agree with them. If you have to decorate your house with condoms and paint your turkey pink to mollify your enraged and deranged son, have Thanksgiving dinner without him. If your vegan daughter tells you the sight of a turkey will make her vomit, tell her to eat with friends. Don’t make a fake turkey from tofu. Don’t be a follower. You are supposed to be the light of the world, for others to follow.

Satan rules his children, and he also rules Christians who let his children manipulate them. Do you want to serve Satan? Eventually, you will give up so much territory, you won’t have any left.

Yeshua says he will replace the people we lose to Satan because of him. No one wants to lose a loved one, but it’s not your place, and it’s not within your power, to decide who will be saved.

I will consider it a major defeat if I ever deal with my sister again. I have dropped a lot of people without warning. I wish we could all live in harmony, but they chose the wrong way, and I chose the right way. I can’t abandon that which is right in order to coddle and humor people who do harm to my family and me.

Now you know why the holidays will be so chaotic this year and why silly, embarrassing celebrities are, for the first time, backing up their boasts and leaving America. I wish they would all go. I pray for the destruction of their industries every day.

Rob Reiner just checked into a mental hospital. His demons can’t stand seeing Satan lose a presidential election.

The other day God told me bad people pursue and insist on living with good people, but good people flee from bad people. Something to keep in mind. If God delivers you from a vexatious person, and you decide you know better, and you take him back, don’t expect God to save you a second time.

I Thought Your Son was a Lady

I am now trying to make bagels for the second time. I started out with the King Arthur Baking recipe, and it had obvious flaws, like using at least 6 times as much yeast as any experienced baker would put in bread. It also had a hydration of 63%, which is far from the 55-58% recommended by other references. At 63%, you’re close to pizza territory, and pizza is nothing like a bagel. Pizza is softer and has big air holes.

I am now working with a 55% dough. I added more malt, I think. I was interrupted by a phone call, but I’m pretty sure I increased the malt by a third.

The dough is pretty hard. It’s so dry, it doesn’t stick to my fingers at all.

I decided to look at some videos featuring people who, unlike the King Arthur company, make bagels for a living. I was suspicious of King Arthur’s rising, resting, and shaping instructions.

King Arthur says to knead, proof for an hour and a half, cut in pieces, form bagel-weight balls, and let them rise for another 30 minutes. It says you then stick your finger in each ball and twirl the ball until you get a 1-1/2″ hole.

If you do this, you’re handling the dough a lot, beating it up, and you’re making it hard to get a nice shape.

The first rise will make the dough lumpy and soft, and when you try to form a ball, you get a ball that wants to bounce back and be lumpy again. If you try to twirl it later, it will stretch irregularly, give you a bagel which is thicker in some places than others. It seems like a stupid idea.

I decided to forget all that work. I took the dough from the Cuisinart and made three balls. I’m letting them rise for around an hour and 50 minutes. Then I plan to put holes in them and stretch them out. I may take one ball, roll it into a stick, and fasten the ends together to make a ring.

The professionals I watched didn’t do a lot of crazy steps. It generally goes like this: knead, rest a short time, cut and form into bagels.

Youtube shows New York bakers taking long strips of dough, wrapping them around their hands so the ends overlap, and rolling them until the ends merge, forming rings. There are also machines that turn dough into rings, though.

Baking is full of superstition and witchcraft. Face west when you add the yeast. Stand on one foot when you knead the dough. Use kosher salt, which is exactly the same thing as gentile salt. The problem is that most bakers will not challenge the useless fake wisdom. If a step worked for their grandparents, it must be necessary.

I like to weed out the nonsense. For example, I don’t really knead dough. I throw it in a Cuisinart with a chopping blade, and in 30-60 seconds, it’s perfect. There are still people out there claiming you have to break your back kneading dough for 10 minutes with your hands. It makes it taste like love! No, it doesn’t. You can’t taste love.

Most bakery bread is baked by illegal aliens who just got off the boat. Do you think they’re thinking about love when they do as they’re told? No, they’re thinking about ICE and vans with no windows.

I’m not sure 55% will work. I may move up to 58% next time. I’m sure 63% will not work, because it doesn’t work for me, and it looks like no one but King Arthur recommends it.

My first bagel batch was full of lumps and tears. I believe this next batch will be smooth and regular, like real bagels.

I’m using baking soda and salt in the water bath, and I’m not going to boil the bagels for three minutes this time.

I’m using high-gluten flour. Seems like an obvious choice.

The web says King Arthur makes a high-gluten flour called Sir Lancelot. You mix it with your other ingredients, turn your mixer on, swing on a chandelier, and kick the bride in the chest.

I don’t know why King Arthur didn’t recommend Sir Lancelot in its recipes, but this could go back to my theory that the people who write their recipes are not very good. They should call their bagels “bitter yeast rings.”

I don’t know if these new bagels will be better than the previous ones, but they can’t be much worse.

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The dough rose nicely, and it is surprisingly soft for 55% hydration. It was very relaxed when I took it out of the oven, where it was rising.

I was going to try to shape the bagels the easy way, poking holes in the balls of dough and opening the holes up. But I decided to try doing what the pros do. I rolled the bagels by hand. It turned out to be much easier than I expected.

You take a doughball, mash it into a flat, long shape, like a rectangle, and then you roll the dough up, starting at one short side. Then you use your hands to roll and stretch it into a stick around 10″ long. After that, you put the ends in your palm, overlapping. You roll the dough back and forward to mash the ends together. You will get a fairly uniform ring of dough around your fingers. It will look a lot like a real bagel that was not made by a machine.

I’ll post a helpful video.

I’m letting the bagels relax a bit before I boil them.

They seem a little small. They weigh around 126 grams each, which should make fairly big bagels.

I believe the rolling is important because it will get rid of the big holes inside the dough. A bagel is supposed to be dense. I didn’t try to make them too perfect, because real bagels don’t look like perfect little O-rings.

Hoping for the best.

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The bagels are cooling.

They look pretty much like bagels, although I did not do an adequate job of joining the ends on one stick of dough.

They’re too dark, at least for me. I should not have listened to people who said to bake at 450 or 500. I started these at 450, and within about 8 minutes, they were dark enough to take out. I had to leave them in so the insides cooked. I dropped the temperature to 400, and they still cooked too fast, so I went down to 350.

Apparently, there are a lot of people who like dark bagels, because a lot of recipes specify high temperatures. Next time, I’m going to try 400.

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I tried a bagel.

It looks like a bagel, and it has a pretty good crust on it. Problems:

1. The crust is too dark. The baking instructions I found on the web can’t be right. The temperature is wrong.

2. The crust should be harder and chewier.

3. The crust doesn’t have the sweet taste bagel crusts should have. It’s more like a baguette. The recipes I looked up must not use enough malt powder for boiling.

4. The holes in the crumb are way too big, like a pizza. I believe I let the dough rise too long and this caused the problem, even though I used much less yeast than King Arthur’s bakers recommend. If I had used the amount they suggest, the bagels would look like balloons.

The plan:

1. Reduce the temperature to 400 next time.

2. Double the malt powder in the dough.

3. Add enough malt powder to the boil to make it a lot sweeter.

4. Boil the bagels for two minutes per side, not one.

5. Decrease the rise time.

This ought to get me closer.

“King Arthur Baking” or “King Arthur Faking”?

Back in ’09, I complained about a recipe for doughnuts. I was on the mailing list for the King Arthur flour company, and they sent a recipe for no-fry doughnuts. I wrote a post saying how mortified I was. Not the most serious post ever.

Of course, you can probably make a decent doughnut without frying it, but I don’t know why you would, since fried doughnuts are the stuff of legend. Krispy Kreme fries. What else do you need to know?

My mother loved Farm Store cake doughnuts, and I thought they were okay, too, but come on. Fried is FRIED.

Maybe they were fried, now that I think about it. I just assumed they were baked.

A guy claiming to work for King Arthur Baking somehow found my blog and wrote this in a comment:

“Dumbest junk email” – WOW, far as I know we’ve never been characterized that way before. A first! Thanks, Steve. As for baked doughnuts – to each his own, huh? Not my favorite, but actually many, many customers love them, so, what the heck? To each his own. Thanks for the mention. You know what they say, even bad PR is PR… PJ _____, King Arthur Flour baker/blogger

For me, this was one of the weirder moments in a long history of blogging.

It just occurred to me: maybe he wrote the doughnut recipe.

I don’t know if King Arthur still has his Internet knights out there Googling and defending the realm, but if he does, I will probably hear from them again. Here goes.

It is not easy to get good bagels where I live. The best grocery here is Publix. Their bakery’s bagels are acceptable, which means good enough to be considered bagels and eaten when nothing else is on hand. Every store has a little box full of bagels from the Einstein Bros. chain, and they’re fine, but as I said, the box is little, and if you don’t get there early, you can forget about getting a plain bagel, which is the only kind of bagel Publix stocks that works with cream cheese and Nova.

I think the old Jews who live around here rush to the stores every morning and clean them out.

It’s a good theory. They keep leaving the blueberry and raisin bagels. The sweet ones. Old Jews get diabetes.

There is a bagel joint in town, and they serve real bagels. It’s a long drive, though. By the way, they don’t serve smoked fish. Bagels, but no lox. No Nova. I’m serious. What is wrong with them? Salmon is the reason bagels were invented. Or it should be.

Yesterday I got fed up and decided to find out how hard it was to make a bagel. I remembered something about having to boil them, and it sounded like a hassle, but I had been pushed to the brink of sanity.

I made the mistake of going to the King Arthur site, because its recipe came up in search results.

King Arthur makes hugely-hyped flour. Is it really better than everyone else’s flour? Take a deep breath. Ready? I don’t think so. I buy their bread flour often, but the truth is that it doesn’t seem to be anything special. Sometimes I buy Pillsbury or Gold Medal or whatever that brand is that’s above King Arthur and the left at my local Publix stores. Everything comes out fine.

Back when I was making large numbers of pizzas and garlic rolls for a church that enjoyed using my free labor, I tried just about every flour you can name. Caputo 00. Bouncer. Golden Tiger. Gordon Food Service Primo Gusto. All Trumps. I can’t recall them all. I tried King Arthur bread flour, known affectionately to pizzaiolos as “KABF.”

My favorite flour was Primo Gusto, a cheap store brand. Naturally, the last time I went to Gordon Food Service, they didn’t have it. Maybe they discontinued it. This happens every time I find a product I like. It even happens with vaccines. I took the Johnson & Johnson clot shot, and now it’s restricted.

Actifed? Gone. Sudafed? Gone, unless I want to sign a government list when I buy it. My favorite tennis shoes? Gone. Wait…there must be some other things…

Okay, maybe not everything gets discontinued, but sometimes it feels like it.

Primo Gusto is a high-gluten flour, and KABF is, of course, bread flour. Whether one has more or less gluten than the other, I can’t say without Googling, and I am too lazy, but high-gluten flours, as a group, are supposed to be a bit more gluteny than bread flours.

Gluten makes bread chewy and crusty. I like high-gluten flour in pizza. Primo Gusto is a high-gluten flour.

To get back to the point, I never got results that made me think King Arthur was a big deal.

I remember trying a pizza dough recipe they suggested. It had baking powder in it for extra oven spring. It did not impress.

Later I learned that you don’t put baking powder in pizza dough to make it rise higher in the oven. You use the proper hydration (67% will work), you use the right temperature, and when you set your dough out to proof, you stretch the ball and fold it inward a few times to make the outer surface taut. This works.

Why didn’t the people at King Arthur know this? Amateurs on a pizza forum did.

I tried their bagel recipe, using their flour, and the bagels sort of flattened out in the oven. Inside, they were maybe 20% more like bagels than, say, Kaiser rolls. To me, they were not bagels.

Before their web knights errant show up to challenge me to jousts, let me say that I lived in Miami and New York, so yes, I know what a bagel should be.

King Arthur’s site is full of good reviews. Their bagel recipe has a 4.5-star rating and 343 reviews. A mystery.

Guess where I went to find out what was wrong? A pizza forum. The guys on the forum may not be paid professionals (for the most part), but they are very serious, they put in the oven time, and they post their results. One of them went on to open a blockbuster pizzeria in Atlanta.

Some of these guys have huge pro ovens in their homes.

I did not go to Serious Eats to see what Kenji Lopez-Alt had to say. He went to the pizza forum to find out how to make pizza, and he still got it wrong. His restaurant gets middling reviews. I got a good Caesar dressing recipe from his site, and I think there is some good stuff there, but I trust the pizza guys more.

A bagel isn’t a pizza, but a person who will make dozens of pizzas every year to get his recipe just right will also put in the effort to get bagels right.

Here’s my tentative conclusion: King Arthur got the hydration wrong, along with some other things.

First, I think they use the wrong flour. Maybe they don’t make a high-gluten flour. That might explain it. The purpose of their site is not to help you make good food. They don’t care about that. The site’s purpose is to sell flour. I believe any crusty, tough bread should be made with high-gluten flour.

Second, they call for 63% hydration. NOBODY puts that much water in a bagel. Water makes bread soft. Obviously.

I have read that factories that make really bad bagels (Thomas’, Lender’s, et alia) use high hydration. I forget why. Maybe to prevent old customers from losing their dentures in front of other people and suing them. Lawyers ruin everything.

I seem to recall reading that it’s because proper bagel dough is hard for factories to work with. It’s stiff.

Third, the bagels don’t taste like bagels, so I think the dough and water bath ingredients are wrong.

A guy on the pizza forum has a recipe that gets high marks, so I am changing the King Arthur recipe to be closer to it. He puts baking soda and salt in his water bath. That seems smart to me, because the outside of a bagel should taste a little different from the inside.

King Arthur says to put white sugar in the water bath along with malt syrup. I think this is wrong. The forum guy doesn’t use sugar, and why would he? It would reduce the malt flavor.

Fourth, and this is insane, King Arthur calls for a TABLESPOON of yeast in 400 grams of flour. That’s three teaspoons. If you listen to them, all you will taste will be bitter yeast. NOBODY puts that much yeast in dough. I have a recipe that uses about 400 grams of flour, and it calls for ONE SIXTH of a tablespoon. Less would be better, but I don’t want to wait a year for dough to rise.

The yeast thing is a rookie mistake. It’s not a matter of preference. It’s not a case of “Reasonable minds may differ.” It’s like putting pepper on Cap’n Crunch.

I will admit that I did not pay any attention to this recommendation when I made “bagels.” I knew it was crazy. I thought maybe it was a typo.

So what about the great reviews on the site?

Here’s something I have to keep telling myself over and over: most people have no idea what good food tastes like. They can tell what other people say tastes good, and they get in line and agree, but only a small percentage of people can tell good food from mediocre or bad food. That does not prevent them from putting in their less-than-two-cents’ worth.

You can’t listen to professional cooks, either.

As I have said before, even most trained cooks…can’t. How many bad restaurant meals have you had? Hundreds or thousands. How many were made by cooking school graduates? A big percentage.

Back when I was a churchgoer, I knew three trained chefs and one Jamaican guy who was self-taught. The trained chefs were what I would call “airline-grade” cooks, but the Jamaican guy’s food was dazzling. The trained chefs asked me for tips, and I have no training at all.

Back in Miami, there is a guy who calls himself Zak the Baker. He started supplying baked goods for Whole Foods, which used to have very, very nice stuff. They sold excellent croissants, pain au chocolate, Danish rolls, and so on. Whole Foods publicized Zak’s name to impress people.

I strolled in after Zak came along, thinking he had to be wonderful if Whole Foods was telling people he made their food, and that was the last time I ever bought their baked goods. They were baked no-goods. Worthless. Flavorless.

Zak promotes himself. He uses his first name as a trademark. When it’s mentioned, it’s supposed to impress. Whatever. The food was not good, and I quit buying it.

You can’t trust a cook’s reputation, especially when he’s a self-promoter.

I went to two Mario Batali restaurants: Lupa and Mozza. Both were awful. I went to Marco Pierre White’s restaurant in Dublin. The food was borderline gross. Incompetently prepared. Stale.

I’ll bet White can’t cook. Michelin stars? Don’t care. Things can be bought. Corruption is real. And maybe Michelin critics aren’t that good at what they do.

How much does a Michelin spy get paid? How much does money does a chef make from a star? Things to think about.

I went to Pride and Joy, a barbecue restaurant that belonged to Myron Mixon, reality TV’s barbecue king. It was just plain bad. He himself ended up distancing himself from it, after laying down a line of smack he later had to eat.

Better the smack than the food.

I don’t understand Zak. If you have time to build a huge business and promote your name, don’t you have time to learn how to cook?

Today I’m making some bagels with 55% hydration, along with some other changes, and whether they’re good or not, they will surely be better than King Arthur’s unholy toroids.

I will eventually get this right, just like I got white bread right. I taught my wife how to make white bread, and now we always have the finest white bread on God’s green Earth, for maybe a dollar a loaf. This bread makes the angels jealous. One day soon, we will have delicious bagels to set beside it.

It’s Bathwater All the Way Down

God has shown me that nearly all church leaders are failing to teach Christians fundamental things that are essential to Christianity working. In fact, they teach against these things, ensuring that Christians will fail and lose, all their lives.

It’s all very obvious when you articulate it, but somehow we miss the obvious, habitually.

Preachers teach pride. They tell us it’s a good thing. Example: there is a big Catholic school near me, and they put up a sign that said, “Celtic Pride.” “Celtics” is the name for their sports teams.

I don’t know how you could get Christianity more wrong.

Pride is worse than sodomy. It’s the worst thing there is. It’s the foundation of every other sin. Pride, not sin itself, is what puts people in hell. People who aren’t proud can repent, change, and be forgiven. The proud won’t.

A few days back, I saw a little ad on the Fox News site, advertising a show about “Pastor Denny,” a pastor who coaches football. It was nauseating.

I know Pastor Denny. He wouldn’t know who I am, but I used to be an armorbearer at Trinity Church in Miami, and Pastor Denny’s daughter, Dawnchere, married the son of Trinity’s hopeless head pastor, Rich Wilkerson. That made Dawnchere a pastor. A kid in her twenties.

At Trinity, everyone related to a pastor automatically becomes a pastor. The only exception is Rich’s one honest son, who has brain damage from meningitis.

He’s too honest to work at Trinity. He has a long history of ratting out the others. Brutally. He used to tell the rest of us things about his family with a big grin on his face.

Pastor Denny is Denny Duron, a self-promoting, shameless, second-tier prosperity preacher. He’s not a billionaire or near-billionaire like Kenneth Copeland, but he’s a lot more successful than Rich Wilkerson, whose church doesn’t pay its bills very well. Rich himself manages to scrape by in a waterfront home in Golden Beach, which is the ritzy part of Miami Beach where the Beegees used to live.

Denny came to preach at Trinity, and he talked about how rich he was because of the prosperity gospel. Of course he was rich. He was teaching other people to give him money.

The prosperity gospel will definitely make you rich, if you’re a preacher. The people who give you money get poorer, however. It’s a lot like a Ponzi scheme. The guy at the top of the pyramid does very well, and people three levels down all wonder why it’s not working.

Denny wrote an awful book intended to make church members feel better about being poor and neglected by their pastors. It’s really a pamphlet. I don’t think he’s smart enough to write a real book. It’s called The Abishai Anointing.

Abishai served under David. Denny’s idea is that Abishai never got a lot of attention or money, but it was okay, because it was such an honor for him to stand in the shadows watching David get all the gravy. The idea is that the special people, like David and Denny, have one kind of anointing, and their sycophants and lickspittles get another, inferior, anointing.

Of course, Denny is wrong about Abishai. Abishai was one of David’s top generals, so he was rich and very powerful. He probably had more than one beautiful wife. And he was cursed. He helped murder Abner, who was very close to David, and David cursed him and his accomplice. Maybe Abishai is not a great role model.

Denny and Rich passed out Denny’s ridiculous book to poor people at Trinity so they would keep doing free work for the church while the riches the pastors promised eluded them. Rich got paid for his work, of course. I guess he doesn’t have the Abishai anointing.

I once received a deep insult in the form of an Abishai Award. Rich was so excited about this helpful anointing, he had certificates printed up, and he gave them to people who did volunteer work. It was a way of saying, “We will never show you any gratitude or respect, we will take advantage of you until you leave or die, and we will promote vile, incompetent members of our inner circle and have them boss you around.”

I actually set fire to my Abishai award, along with my copy of the pamphlet. I put a photo in the frame, which probably cost Trinity 75 cents.

Google “Denny Duron fraud” and see if you think Denny is someone who is close to Yeshua.

Denny is a failed NFL prospect. He says he “signed” with the Washington Redskins, but he claims that while he was in training camp, God told him, “This is your last day,” and he became a preacher.

Maybe it was actually one of head coach George Allen’s underlings who said, “This is your last day,” and Denny misattributed the quote.

Like I always say, never believe anyone’s resume. Never believe what people say while trying to impress others.

I don’t think he’s honest, largely because prosperity preachers have to be dishonest to do their jobs. I think he had no shot at all of making it in the pros, they cut him loose right away, and he had to find something else to do. I doubt God told him anything.

He has one of those very brief Wikipedia entries of the type you get when you create it yourself and hope no one sees it and deletes it. I went to law school with a twice-suspended, now-unlicensed attorney named Don West, and Don had a page like that when he was in his twenties and had accomplished nothing. It was taken down because he was not a real public figure. In all probability, he himself created the page.

There are still pages out there claiming he’s a lawyer in Alabama. I saw one that says he practices in 61 areas of law. Go big or go home, I guess.

Denny’s page is not a big-time Wikipedia article, according to Wikipedia itself. It’s called a “stub class” entry. It doesn’t mention his time in the NFL, making me wonder if it actually happened. He uses it to promote himself elsewhere, so why not on his stub class article?

Maybe he was a walk-on. Anyone can show up at a training camp, embarrass himself briefly, and then be asked to leave.

Wikipedia has rated his article “low importance.”

I hate it when football people pretend God loves their sport.

Football teaches young men aggression and pride, and it teaches them they are worthless when they lose. It teaches them self-confidence, which God hates. It pumps up their egos.

Football also subjects men to a lot of sexual temptation. Football players at big-name colleges get all the slutty women they want. They don’t have to ask for dates. Girls throw themselves at them, at least until school is over and most of them have to take low-paying jobs.

Christianity is not about aggression. It’s not about hard work. Find me a figure in the Bible who impressed God by believing in himself or working hard.

Competition is a Greek notion. It’s not Jewish. Every Christian is supposed to be a winner. A child of God, very literally. Not a grandchild. Not an Abishai to Denny and Rich, the real children. A culture based on defeating other people who are supposed to be your spiritual brothers is not a Christian culture.

The word says everyone who exalts himself will be abased. Building up your pride separates you from God. The word says God is close to the humble and far from the proud. By the symmetry of the supernatural, demons and people who belong to Satan are close to the proud. Is that what you want?

If you’re close to God, he does things for you. He brings you revelation, healing, wealth, deliverance and all sorts of other good things. If you’re far from God, he stands back while you fail.

I’m not happy that Fox is promoting Denny Duron, but it’s not a surprise. It’s not the Holy Spirit Network.

Here’s another thing preachers fail to teach us: they don’t teach us to bless God.

We are taught to bless our food, which is bizarre. The Bible says Yeshua blessed God when he ate. He did not bless the food. When I eat, I speak blessing to God himself, just as Isaac blessed his sons. I have the authority to speak good things that will happen to God.

A lot of Christians think this is wrong, but one important person says it’s correct. His name is Yeshua.

Consider the Lord’s Prayer. How does it start? With Yeshua blessing Yahweh.

May your name be holy. May your kingdom come. May your will be done. Those are blessings directed at God himself, not a plate of food. Yeshua was using supernatural power to make these things happen, and he named the location: on Earth. He said these things had already happened in heaven.

The prayer doesn’t actually say, “May your name be holy.” The Greek word translated as “holy” means “CONSIDERED holy.” By men. God’s name is already holy everywhere, but it is not generally considered holy here on Earth. We use it when we’re startled or when we feel pain, for example.

The blessings are not idle words uttered to butter God up. God has no ego. He is free of pride. It’s not like you’re praying to Beyonce or Hillary Clinton. The blessings are supposed to cause things to happen.

When I eat, I mention the blessings in the Lord’s Prayer. I add other things. “May your children be multiplied.” This is God’s main goal here. “May your enemies be defeated.”

We know God treats us the way we treat him. The Bible makes it clear. So what happens when you bless God? Clearly, he speaks powerful blessings over you, from the throne of complete authority. If you’re not blessed, and you’re not blessing God, you should not be surprised. Nothing is wrong. The system is working.

The word says, “I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be on my lips.”

Why would you bless food? Food isn’t a person. It can’t receive a blessing. You may say you bless it so it will be good for you and it won’t hurt you. That makes no sense. You’re blessing yourself and claiming you’re blessing food.

Some people say “bless” means “thank.” No, it doesn’t. Not primarily, anyway. Isaac didn’t thank his children. He blessed them. God blessed the creatures of the earth when he created them. He wasn’t thanking them. Strong’s lists “thank” as a meaning for “barak,” the Hebrew word for “bless,” but it’s at the end of the list.

God’s kingdom is established in heaven. He doesn’t need to be blessed there. Earth is different. We are the instruments he uses to establish his kingdom here. He uses our prayers, blessings, curses, and actions. If we don’t do our part, Satan’s kingdom is established here.

That has already happened. Yeshua calls Satan the god of this world. We’re the insurrection. The minority party.

People think God controls everything that happens here. Where did that idea come from? We have free will. God doesn’t force us to sin and go to hell. God put us in charge of this place, and we handed it to Satan.

I believe one of the main reasons my life and my wife’s life are so good is that I make a point of speaking blessings to God himself all day. How could God let me bless him and not bless me in return? That would be unlike him, to say the least.

I also curse. I cursed Joe Biden’s campaign over and over, and when Harris took over, I cursed her campaign, too. I curse the entertainment industry, including sports. Why not? Leftism and celebrity worship are possibly Satan’s most powerful tools.

Preachers don’t teach us to love God. That’s amazing. They teach us to be nice to hostile perverts, because Yeshua never said anything critical or threatened anyone, as far as people who don’t read the Bible know. They don’t tell us to love God himself.

We are commanded to love God. It’s the most important commandment. Yeshua said we were to love God as forcefully as possible and love others as we loved ourselves. All the other commandments are built on these two.

Do you ever tell God you love him? I do it these days. Every time my wife and I pray, we tell him we love him. We believe him. We choose to side with him. We believe he is right all the time. Conversely, we hate the spirits that are against him. We contemn them. We find them immature and embarrassing. We say these things.

Yeshua visited me, and his love is so strong, you can feel it, physically. It radiates from him in every direction. We should love someone who feels that way about us. Christianity is not a game where you play by the rules and score points. It’s membership in a family with a perfect, loving father.

I ask God to help us love him more. I ask him to help us love our enemies. I tell him it’s only possible with the help of the Holy Spirit. We can’t do it. The word says no man can please God in the flesh.

How can you teach people about God for a living and forget the most important commandment?

I guess I should stop. I’m sure this information will be helpful to those who put it to use.

Fries WILL be Great Again

RFK Jr. is about to become the head of the Department of Health and Human Services, a department which sounds leftist when you say its name. What conservative would use the phrase “human services”? It’s idiotic. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s too broad. I’m a human. When I hire someone to look at my AC system, it must be a human service. But HHS doesn’t send out air conditioner repairmen.

We had better department names when we had fewer departments. The Department of Defense was the Department of War. No apologies. Truthful. Trumpish.

Let’s Google.

HHS, which is called “HHS,” even though the DOJ is called “the DOJ,” was put together in 1939. Already, it makes sense to me. A socialist put it together.

It was originally called the Federal Security Agency, which is a pretty good piece of leftist PR for its day. “We just want you to be secure and know there are no monsters under your bed.” It was supposed to be in charge of Social Security, health, and education. They must have rejected “the Department of Intrusiveness.”

The guy who ran the department was a man named McNutt. That’s too easy. Before leading the Department of Buttinskyism, he was the governor of Indiana and burdened the citizens with the state’s first income tax.

Perfect.

Eventually, the government felt that the jobs of using Social Security and centrally-planned education were so important, they should be given to separate organizations with independent armies of stooges, so we ended up with the Social Security Administation and the Department of Indoctrination. I mean Education.

HHS includes the CDC, NIH, and FDA.

That’s all I need to know. Let’s disband it.

Okay, okay. We do need someone to keep really awful drugs off the market. I mean, if we didn’t have a government agency doing that, some company might put out untested vaccines that cause blood clots and myocarditis, leading to an epidemic of excess deaths among young people, which the government’s unofficial department, the MSM, would have to tell us did not exist.

All right. All right. We do need the FDA. I think. Even though it keeps Americans from receiving excellent medications used everywhere else in the world. Look up Rowachol. I got covid recently, and the pharmacist in Rome gave me two well-regarded drugs, neither of which had I ever heard of. Thanks to the FDA.

Anyway, the FDA is out of control. It lets lobbyists tell us what to eat. It gave us the Food Pyramid, which was originally known as the Iowa/Nebraska Joint Pro-Diabetes Pyramid. The Pyramid told us to stuff ourselves with all sorts of carbohydrates which rotted our teeth, strangled our pancreases, filled our arteries with placques, gave us high blood pressure, and made us one of the fattest nations outside of Polynesia.

Carbohydrates are the single biggest killer in the US. Think about that.

Here is the Pyramid.

It says to eat 6-11 servings of carbohydrates per day. I overeat, I love food, and I can’t manage that. I can’t even picture the people who do. They must make Jabba the Hutt look like Olive Oyl. All by itself, their gas must have raised sea levels an inch.

Rice and pasta, it says. Bread. Know what you’re eating when you eat those things? Glucose. A sugar so bad for you it’s used as the standard for the glycemic index, a metric which tells you how much damage your food is doing to your body. You chew your bread, mixing it with an enzyme in spit that converts starch into glucose, and before long, excess glucose is pouring into your veins, threatening your eyesight, your circulatory system, your brain, your nerves, and your chances of marrying anyone remotely attractive.

The weird thing about this is that you don’t need carbohydrates at all. We all love them, but you can go your entire life and be extremely healthy without carbs in your diet. Can’t do that with fat and protein.

The Pyramid discourages consumption of meat. I guess the pork and beef lobbyists had a lower budget for hookers and trips.

Meat is harmless. It’s great for you. Plant-based foods cause diabetes, tooth decay, obesity, and high blood pressure. It’s pretty much impossible to have those things without eating plants, and the fewer carbs you eat, the less likely you are to have these issues. Meat simply can’t cause them.

The FDA used to tell us to get 25 grams of fiber every day. Have you ever tried to do that? That’s 6 bowls of raisin bran. You would literally wear out your toilet seat. You would go through life clearing elevators and subway cars.

The government has no business managing our diets. The government is corrupt and stupid. It tells us what lobbyists and leftist freaks tell us to. And nutrition is not properly part of the government’s business. What’s next? Compulsory calisthenics?

Guard the borders. Fight our enemies. Protect business. Run the courts and prisons. The government should do these things. Where does it get off telling us what to put on our dinner tables?

All this being said, RFK is kind of a nut. He seems like he would be a great guy to hang around with, but come on. He eats roadkill. He thinks vaccines cause autism, a theory which is right up there with Pizzagate.

Not taking vaccines causes things like polio, diphtheria, smallpox, and rubella. This is proven.

I don’t know whether he’ll be good or bad for us, but it would be nice to hear less propaganda from HHS, and it would be good if Americans could buy the same drugs that save lives in Europe.

He hates seed oils. I don’t know whether he’s right or not. He loves animal fat, and there, I am with him.

He said something wonderful. He reminded America that McDonald’s used to fry potatoes in beef tallow. They quit in the Nineties. Bad research and the FDA convinced American women animal fat and eggs were bad, which they are not, and women have strong voices when it comes to food purchasing. All sorts of companies started cutting out animal fat. Oreos abandoned delicious lard. We even have skinny pigs now. You can’t make much gravy from a country ham these days.

Women are much more gluttonous than men, and they drive the chip and ice cream industries, but they do more than anyone to deprive the rest of us.

Beef-fat fries are magnificent. I’ve made them. They smell like prime rib. A beef-fat fry is Jane Russell. A canola fry is Elizabeth Warren.

I wonder if he’ll be able to bring beef-fat fries back in some major restaurants. Maybe he can make them trendy. That would be a dream come true.

Potatoes are practically poisonous, but there is no denying their impact on cuisine. They taste wonderful. Fried. Mashed. Baked. Boiled. You name it. Beef fat makes ingesting an inherently unhealthy vegetable worth it.

People say potatoes are actually healthy. They have vitamin C! They’re low in fat! Whatever. Try one without salt and added fat and then return to the discussion. Worthless. Prison food.

I always feel bad after eating potatoes, but they’re too good to give up.

Even if the FDA were right about everything, I would still want it to shut up about our diets. It’s outside the government’s lane.

Getting back to RFK, I don’t think vaccines cause autism. Demons cause autism, and if autism has increased, it’s because America has turned into Sodom. We invite demons to rule us now. They cause disease, mental illness, and other misfortunes. Unfortunately, the FDA will never admit demons exist.

Regardless of what Roadkill Robert says, I plan to take every well-tested vaccine I can get, except for those made with mRNA. That stuff is horrifying. My son is going to be vaccinated, and he will live under the same policy. I don’t want him dying needlessly of some ridiculous 1900’s disease like tetanus or whooping cough.

My son will never be vaccinated for covid.

Covid vaccine : young person :: birth control pills : Caitlyn Jenner.

Trump needs to put a libertarian in charge of the Department of Education. A real Ron Swanson, unlike cookie-cutter kneejerk liberal Nick Offerman, who played him. We need someone who will destroy the department from the inside. The suggestion that states can’t run schools is asinine and insulting. I could run a school. Nearly any educated adult could.

The business of education requires a very low level of competence. You know it’s true. Remember your teachers?

I had one who told us there were 52 states.

I hope RFK succeeds in doing good things and is restrained when he tries to implement ideas he heard from Alex Jones. All in all, I prefer him to anyone Harris would have appointed, sight unseen.

So Much for Bringing America Together

Trump has nominated Representative Matt Gaetz for the position of United States Attorney General, and leftists (and some Republicans) are losing their minds. Not that this is a major change for most leftists. A reader asked what I thought about Gaetz.

I don’t know much about him. I know he’s aggressive. He’s very bold. He infuriates Democrats and lukewarm swamp Republicans. I know he was unsuccessfully accused of having sex with a 17-year-old girl. That’s about it.

The failed accusation should not even enter into the discussion. Anyone can be falsely accused. Joe Biden’s hostile DOJ decided two of the three witnesses who came to them about Gaetz were unreliable, and the DOJ must have concluded there was no other evidence that would support a conviction, because they dropped the case.

Remember, the DOJ prosecuted a woman who “stole” a diary she said was abandoned and had her jailed. A diary. We’re talking about a misdemeanor on the same level as the theft of a Doordash order. If the DOJ had seen any hope of nailing Gaetz on sex charges, he would have been tried. They have a history of targeting conservatives unfairly. I consider Gaetz innocent.

Go to your local police and insist they arrest someone who stole your diary and see what happens. If the impossible happens and there is a response and an arrest, beg the prosecutors to bring the case to court. If that miraculously occurs, push for jail time. The prosecutors won’t ask for it. The judge won’t even consider it. It’s a diary.

That’s because you’re not Ashley Biden, the daughter of a sitting Democrat President who was extremely embarrassed by her diary’s content.

Don’t tell me the Biden DOJ was ever anything close to fair. Consider the J6 cases. And the cop who murdered Ashli Babbitt on camera has never been charged.

Nobody is fair. Nearly every president picks Supreme Court justices, who are supposed to be models of impartiality, yet somehow, they rule pretty consistently in favor of the policies of whoever chose them. If our highest tribunal is biased, and it clearly is and always has been, you can’t tell me other government officials should be expected to be fair. All you can ask is that their bias isn’t so extreme it results in extraordinary injustice that causes major suffering.

Gaetz has been accused of campaign finance violations. Well, so was Newt Gingrich, who hates him, and Gingrich was completely exonerated after being forced out of office as Speaker of the House. Donald Trump has been unjustly convicted of felonies involving campaign funds, and the case will never survive appeal.

I don’t trust charges involving the minutiae of campaign finance law. We let Obama win in 2008 even though he raised funds online without screening out the Chinese. I don’t care if Gaetz broke the law in some insignificant way.

The rage over the sex thing is a bit ridiculous. Leftists call Gaetz a pedophile. Ignoring the fact that there is no reason to think the crime occurred. Even if it had occurred, it would not make Gaetz a pedophile.

Pedophiles are only attracted to kids who haven’t gone through puberty. Pedophilia is a mental illness, probably caused by demons. Being attracted to 17-year-old girls who look grown is totally normal for men, even if we have no desire to have relationships with them. A man who is not physically attracted to good-looking 17-year-old girls has a problem.

Women claim they’re not physically attracted to handsome teenaged boys who look like men, and I suppose some are not, but most are. Women lie constantly about sex and relationships because they are extremely concerned about what people think of them.

In Florida, the age of consent is 18. In Washington, that deep-red state known for militias and Tea Party events, it’s 16. No one says Washingtonians who have sex with 16-year-olds are pedophiles who should be locked up.

Gaetz was accused of a purely technical crime which does not exist in many states, including New York, Massachusetts, and Connecticut. These states allow men to have sex with girls who are 16 years old.

Leftists pass out condoms to kids in junior high, and they commonly support kids who choose to have sex before they can drive. Things to think about.

It’s a bad idea for a grown man to have sex with a teenaged girl, it may indicate problems with his character, and all fornication is abomination, but it’s not pedophilia, and it’s not always a crime.

Maybe his real crime has been bucking the GOP establishment. He got Kevin McCarthy ousted. If you want powerful officials to act, the best way is to convince them your enemy is their enemy. The police often refuse to arrest people who have clearly committed misdemeanors, because they don’t really care much about our problems, but give a cop the finger, which is legal, and you can expect to be illegally detained, at least. He may hold you until he can find some unrelated crime to pin on you. High-level politicians are no different.

Should we care if the government is fair? I’m starting to wonder. The world is controlled by supernatural forces, and rulers are puppets. How much does it matter what our rulers are like, as long as they’re good for God’s children?

Trump is better for Christians and Israel than Harris would have been, and Gaetz would probably be acceptable, too. If so, he’s fine with me. It seems to me that if people who don’t know God have problems with the government, it’s between the government and them. Secular government is a curse, and people who don’t know God are cursed. We can’t fix it. People who don’t know God and who are therefore cursed are like the poor. They will always be with us.

The pharaoh who promoted Joseph was great for the Jews. Ahasuerus, AKA Xerxes I, was great for the Jews. So were Cyrus and Darius. These were not enlightened rulers. They were not very nice. But they were still helpful.

Maybe I’m wrong. Just pondering.

The news says Gaetz will never be confirmed. Is that true? If so, why did he resign from the House? Ron DeSantis has to replace him with someone. Will Gaetz get his job back if he can’t be confirmed? I saw some indication that DeSantis can fill the spot with someone else temporarily. Maybe Gaetz could get it back.

Someone has suggested that Casey DeSantis, the governor’s wife, could fill in. That could be a smart move, keeping power in the DeSantis family while things play out.

The Gaetz appointment proves one thing: Trump is not playing around. He’s not catering to the weak voices around him, telling him to curry favor with the left. That stuff never works. Bush II tried it and had his behind handed to him repeatedly.

Trump can’t run again, so from a personal standpoint, he has nothing to fear. Vance is in a different position.

Trump has also appointed Tom Homan to run border security, and his sole, unapologetic policy seems to be, “They are leaving.” Trump got an incredible 55% vote from Hispanic men, and Hispanic men have lots of relatives who want to come here illegally, so I think Homan is a sound choice.

My plan is to enjoy the next 4 years and pray for the rapture every day, as I have been doing for a very long time. If I am close to God, he will look after me no matter who rules the secular world.

Tune Your Saw with Contrarianism

Do you have an Echo CS-590 chainsaw you modified? Did you advance the timing and open up the muffler? Do you have a carb from a more-powerful saw on it?

Are you totally unable to start and tune it now that you’ve worked on it?

Take heart, friend. I may have the answer.

I put a new key on the shaft of my saw’s flywheel a while back, advancing the timing, and it seemed to run considerably stronger. I stuck a new, more open deflector on the muffler, too. Everything was fine. But my motto is, “If it ain’t broke, fix it,” so I got back to work.

I removed my muffler’s deflector and drilled 6 3/16″ holes in the muffler, around the factory opening that shoots gas out of the saw. This reduced back pressure and should end up giving me considerably more power.

The carb I have on it comes from a CS-620P, which is a professional-grade saw. It’s more powerful than a stock CS-590, so the carb has a slightly higher capacity. Unfortunately, it comes with a main jet/check valve that has a little hole in it that always lets some fuel go through, even when you close the H and L screws.

This hole is there to save Echo aggravation. It’s just like the little plastic things my saw used to have, to prevent people from turning the screws too far. The purpose of both is to keep people from leaning their saws out until they blow up. Echo knows people will do this and then expect warranty repairs.

The main jet has a check valve to keep air from being sucked backward into the system.

If you modify your saw, you will need to readjust your carb, so the limiter caps on the screws have to go, along with the hole in the check valve. If you have a hole in your valve, you may not be able to lean your saw out enough to make it run well after modifications. A saw the factory wants to max out at 12,000 RPM may run well at 15,000 after modifications, requiring a different mix, so you don’t want a check valve ruining your day.

I installed a new check valve with no hole, and then I tried to tune the saw. It drove me crazy for several days.

It wouldn’t start. Then it would start, but it wouldn’t idle. Then it would idle, but it died when I goosed the throttle.

A guy who sells modification parts did a video, and he said that if you change your check valve, you should open up the H screw to richen the mixture. Other people on the web seemed to agree that saws with muffler mods needed more fuel. Believing this tripe, I tried starting my saw with the screws out a little past the OEM settings, and I tried the OEM settings. Finally, I tried starting the L screw at one turn out from zero, and the saw ran.

So if you have modified your CS-590, and you’re losing your mind trying to make it work, try leaning out the L feed.

I should add that sometimes tightening a screw will actually make the mixture richer at wide-open throttle, but let’s not go there. I don’t think it applies to the L screw. All I know is, I needed to tighten mine.

I got the saw to run smoothly last night, but I ran out of blood for the mosquitoes, so I didn’t finish the job.

Before fooling with the muffler and valve, the saw was doing something like 13,500, I think. Maybe it was 13,300. This is wide open, with no load. Last night, all I could get was 12,500, which is within wimpy factory specs. Disgraceful.

Today I set the idle at 3,000, pretty much in the middle of the range. I tuned the L screw by ear. Then I opened up the H screw, and BANG, I was at 13,300 with an occasional burp.

It was like, “WAAAAAAAAAAAAA bip WAAAAAAAAAAA bip WAAAAAAAAAAA bip.”

In case you want to know how to tune a saw’s H needle, I have found out, so I’ll tell you.

It’s the last thing you adjust.

You want it to “four-stroke.” This is a misnomer used by chainsaw dudes. A chainsaw has a 2-stroke motor, and it can’t do what a 4-stroke does. It can SOUND a little like a 4-stroke, however. It sounds that way because it’s missing.

You want to make the H feed so rich, the saw misses a little when wide open with no load. Just a little. This means it’s getting more fuel than it can burn. When you put it in the wood, that fuel will be burned to provide more power, and the saw will run smoothly.

My saw has a limited ignition coil. The limit is 13,500.

People say you can’t tune a saw with a limited coil, because when it hits the limit, if starts missing, and it sounds like the saw is tuned correctly. I don’t think I’m having that problem, because I’m not hitting 13,500 and the saw is missing, but I will keep testing it.

The big take-away here is this: if you have been modifying your CS-590, and you’re pulling your hair out because it won’t let you tune it, and you think you broke it, set the L screw at one turn out, or whatever is 1/4 turn in from the OEM setting for your carb. It may be the answer.

Now I have 4 pretty decent gas saws for wood clearing. I have a homeowner-grade 40cc rebadged Husqvarna 435, a modified CS-590 which is maybe 90% professional-grade, an Echo CS-510P, which is a 50-cc pro saw, and a Husqvarna 562XP, which is a 4.9-horsepower 60-cc saw with a 24″ bar.

I only need one big saw and one small saw to work, so with two in each size, it’s pretty likely I’ll always have a set of two gas saws that function. And I have a cordless Makita that will save me if both of my small saws die on me.

I have no idea how much power the CS-590 makes now, but it should be significantly more than the 4 horsepower it was born with.

I’m keeping my chains sharp, so that also helps. Sharpening your chain is like adding one or more horsepower. I also use grown-up chains, not the safety chains lawyers put on saws places like Home Depot sells. Those safety chains are amazing. You buy a 4-horsepower saw, to pick a number, and the chain, sharpened to its peak, makes it cut like 3 horsepower.

Leading Democrats Express Concern

Was I wrong about the left’s response to the second Trump election? I was sure the usual spindly, stoned, spoiled white kids would be out in the streets burning buildings and attacking the cops by now, but it has not happened.

What’s going on? They have gone berserk so many times. Why not now?

I wonder if it’s because even leftists are tired of them. I saw that Oregon’s governor, a lefty wackjob (I didn’t actually check, but I am willing to guess) threatened to meet Antifa with the National Guard. Are Antifers intimidated because they think blue-state officials might actually do their jobs this time?

Maybe leftists are tired of Antifa because it was a fad. BLM seems to be drying up. Maybe kids no longer think it’s cool to post selfies and videos from riots, not because they have grown up, but simply because it has been done already, and other kids are not as impressed as they once were.

I just saw a video from Seattle, where a group of about two dozen black-clad punks with a combined chest measurement of 35 inches tried to buffalo a few bike cops. It went nowhere. They ended up wandering off, chanting some nonsense questioning the cops’ parentage.

Aren’t we supposed to refrain from shaming the unfathered?

Is the rain killing their drive? Leftist nut riots generally occur in decent weather. American leftists are soft. They may dress like the Viet Cong, but they cry when the cops intercept their Grubhub orders. Literally. Maybe they’re afraid rain will wash the food coloring out of their hair.

Riot-prone punks are generally drug users. Has the dope gotten so good, it destroys their motivation to leave the basement? We all know weed kills motivation, except for the motivation to eat Frito-Lay products.

Could it be they’re planning action for later, on the assumption it will surprise THE MAN, who was counting on post-election chaos?

I don’t think so. I don’t think they plan that far ahead. I think they are bad at thinking about the future. After all, Jew-hating leftists at Harvard showed their faces while expecting to receive legal internships in New York City. That’s like showing up for a job interview with an ankle bracelet.

Maybe they’re waiting for a spark. Someone has to go first and make protesting cool again. Someone has to get a whole bunch of likes for fighting the police naked or something.

Herd creatures don’t like to be the one who goes first.

Tiktok gals are telling other gals to poison men. Is that the new leftist intifada? The police can beat you up, and felony arrests can keep you out of cushy jobs, so perhaps it makes sense that crazy, unfulfilled women whose cats aren’t getting the job done would go on Tiktok with their faces uncovered and tell other women to poison husbands and boyfriends they will never actually have.

The poison girls practically worship a long-dead Italian lady who (probably not true) sold poison to women with abusive husbands. The poison is called aqua Tofana, and it contains lead, arsenic, and belladonna.

It’s not like we know these women had abusive husbands. It’s not like there were trials. Maybe their wealthy husbands abused them by not dying soon enough.

By the way, as long as we’re revealing top secret information, McDonald’s special sauce is thousand island dressing. I know you had no idea. Nearly every secret sauce is ketchup plus mayonnaise with or without pickle relish.

The Tiktok assassin wannabes tell other girls aqua Tofana is undetectable after the fact. And that is true. If it’s 1650 A.D.

Lead, arsenic, and belladonna can be detected with no problem, and this has probably been true for over a century.

Girls really are bad at science. I’m sorry.

I don’t know why anyone would think lead was a good poison. Pretty sure cigarettes are faster.

When I was young, I did not understand that lead was bad for us, and I liked the taste of it. Sometimes I chewed on lead split-shot fishing sinkers. You’re supposed to close split shots with pliers, but I used my teeth, and I noticed that lead was kind of tasty.

Maybe this explains a lot of things about me now. Anyway, I did not die or even get sick.

Opponents of the aqua Tofana movement have speculated that very few of these women have access to men on a regular basis, for reasons that are obvious when you watch their videos. But, as an Internet denizen said, going to Starbucks could be scary. And I’m not talking about the prices.

Where are these girls going to get arsenic? Amazon? Let me see. Let me search and put myself on yet another secret list.

Amazon lists a homeopathic medicine made from arsenic trioxide. It’s called arsenicum album, which probably means “white arsenic.” Given that it’s sold openly as a medicine, and the fact that it’s homeopathic, i.e. ineffective, this stuff can’t contain enough arsenic to change election outcomes.

“Homeopathic” is a funny way to spell “placebo.”

Well, this is something. I just found a 100-gram bottle of pure arsenic metal on Amazon for $380. God bless the Internet. I should have expected it.

I just checked, and I can buy a cobra online for $1,000. Not at Amazon, so forget free shipping.

Never doubt the power of online commerce. I can use Paypal. I can’t use Paypal to buy a box of .22 shorts, because Paypal thinks selling gun-related items is harmful to society. But I can get a highly venomous snake that will breed just fine in my yard.

I can buy an inland taipan. Look this thing up. It’s worse than 10 cobras. These things will chase you and bite you over and over until they’re dry.

They’re like long, skinny scorned women.

I don’t like gun control, but shouldn’t we have cobra control? Isn’t that obvious? A gun just sits around until someone uses it, and it can’t reproduce. It can’t eradicate or displace native species, either. We should be controlling dangerous animals like cobras, pit-type dogs, and Will Smith.

If the kooky aqua Tofana girls get serious, maybe some witch with the prerequisite nose hog ring, who works at a university chemistry lab, will start filching arsenic and mailing it around to girls who will end up poisoning themselves and their cats accidentally. Or maybe some girl who doesn’t know Amazon keeps records of sales will just order some.

I can already see the cop videos in my mind. Girls in cuffs, screaming “THEY SAID IT WAS UNDETECTABLE! Oh, and I CAN’T BREATHE!”

I don’t know why America hasn’t erupted in violence, but I am confident it will happen, because you can’t say we’ve changed just because Republicans won elections by small margins.

Maybe the riot-prone are avoiding important dates like the ones like January 6 and January 20. Maybe they’ll flip out and go berserk over minor provocations, when we don’t expect it. Maybe they’ll hear there will be no Barbie sequel.