Want to see a Reindeer Stagger?

I felt like I needed to brew a special ale for Christmas, so I started with my Happy Halfwit wheat ale and added things to make it darker and give it some raisiny flavor, like a liquid fruitcake. It fermented in about three days, and my brew software thinks it’s 12.8% alcohol, which is kind of a lot. Most wines are a little weaker.

I wanted a high ABV, because this was intended to be a one-serving beer, but this is more than I bargained for.

I tried samples during fermentation, and I was disappointed. It was too sweet, and the Sabro hops and Abbaye yeast made it taste like a pina colada. It tasted good, but it was not what I was after. I thought I would have to throw it out, but I chilled and gassed it anyway, just to find out.

Yesterday, I brewed a new version which has more bitterness, different hops, and less alcohol. I had the old one sitting at 35° and 3.3 volumes of gas. Today I tried a sample. A small one.

It’s magnificent. It’s still sweet, but the added gas and chilling add balance. CO2 adds carbonic acid to beer, and carbonic acid must have a sharp, acidic taste, because that’s the difference between seltzer and water.

Now I’m stuck with two batches of ale and only one Christmas. But it should last until next year. Really strong beers benefit from aging.

The newer beer should be fermented out by…let’s see…Thursday. That’s how fast it is. I guess the wheat kicks the yeast into high gear. Wheat beers ferment quickly.

This is not a session beer. Obviously. One pint, and you are done for the evening, unless you actually want to make a fool of yourself. I don’t think I’ll ever pour an entire pint for myself.

I need to quit making heavy beers for a while. There is no reason for a sane person to have three of them on tap, and that’s the number I currently have. I’ll get back to the old favorites.

I wonder why most strong beers are bad, given that any amateur can brew a good one. When I was in high school and even less mature than I am now, I got excited about Carlsberg Elephant, because people claimed the alcohol level was 10%. In reality, it was 7.2%, but it was still pretty strong.

It’s nasty. It gets good reviews from consumers, but I think that must be frat boys who think it’s good because it’s strong and doesn’t taste so bad they can’t gag it down. It barely tastes like beer. It has no balance. It has a musky smell. Maybe it arrives in the US skunked because of the green bottles.

How come Carlsberg brews a gross 7.2% beer, but I brew fantastic beers that are much stronger? They need to send their people to Belgium to try some strong beers that actually taste good.

I’ll think about all this while I sit on the couch and wait to feel ready to drive.