Christianity isn’t Always Tidy

People may wonder where I’ve been. I just haven’t felt like blogging. It’s not because I’ve been ill, although I have. I just haven’t had anything to say.

I developed pink eye three weeks ago, and it has moved all around my body, clearing up in one area while attacking another. For most of this week, I had a stuffy nose accompanied by other gross symptoms in that region. That tapered off, but I woke up with a cough. Now that’s gone. Let’s hope it doesn’t morph into leprosy.

Someone I do business with has the flu and has been ill for two weeks. Says the vaccine is only 9% effective this year and the flu is all over Miami. When I heard this, I got on the web and checked, and sure enough, the flu can start as conjunctivitis. Is that fair? I don’t think so. Anyhow, it may be that I have plain old viral conjunctivitis which is roaming around my body, or it may be that I really have the flu. Whatever it is, it’s not severe. It’s just annoying, and like any bad experience that overstays its welcome, it wore me down for a while.

Malaise is a recognized pink eye symptom. Great, huh? Tell me diseases don’t come from spirits. Try. When a minor illness has a strong effect on your mood, it ought to be a hint that the attack is not purely physical.

I remember going to a doctor many years ago for a flu-like problem. I said it was making me feel tense and depressed. I thought that had to be important. Surely there had to be at least one well-known upper respiratory infection that caused irrational anxiety and depresson. That’s what I thought. If I was right, the doctor knew nothing whatsoever about it. The psychological symptoms meant nothing at all to him. It’s remarkable how little doctors know about some things. They’ve been accumulating knowledge for thousands of years, and this guy didn’t know anything about what surely had to be very common symptoms.

I have learned not to pay a lot of attention to my moods when I’m ill. They are deceptive and fleeting. Listening to your moods when you’re sick is like getting a tattoo when you’re drunk. You will regret it later.

I would be happy to find out that this is the flu, because you’re not very likely to get the flu twice in one season. The flu is usually awful. If I have to have the flu at all, I want a kind that doesn’t have much success.

What if it’s pink eye, it goes away, and then I get the flu? Best to think happier thoughts.

As always, I have drawn closer to God during my illness. I’ve had all sorts of miraculous healings, so when I’m sick, I always try to get God’s help and find out what I’m doing wrong. In reality, I do a lot of things wrong, so the question is really which ones are causing the problem.

I’ve worn Youtube out, watching videos from Mark Hemans, the Australian healer and evangelist. When the barrel started to run dry, I decided to look at Bill Subritzky. Hemans refers people to his website for information. Subritzky is from New Zealand, and I supposed he’s around 75. His ministry is very similar to Hemans’, but it seems somewhat less powerful. He’s all about casting demons out and cleaning up lives.

Bill Subritzky led me to T.B. Joshua, the most popular healer on Youtube. He has more subscribers than any other. He’s as popular as some of the big ‘tubers who produce vital sophomoric publicity stunts and clickbait, even though all he does is heal the sick and cast out demons with God’s power.

I already knew about T.B. Joshua, but I did not take him seriously. He’s a Nigerian who works in Lagos, and he has a big flashy church with a strange name: the Synagogue Church of All Nations (“SCOAN”). SCOAN’s videos are very sensational. The preachers have long discussions with people who are supposedly infested with demons (not a good idea), and the people have lots of spectacular manifestations. They throw up amazing things. They roll on the floor. They give long testimonies.

When I used to watch this stuff, I thought it was probably a con job. God is ending the age of the big church, and Joshua was running one, so that didn’t make a good impression on me. I figured he was probably a money preacher. I thought the deliverances were staged. Some of the people in the videos didn’t sound sincere. I thought they might be plants.

Bill Subritzky seemed pretty sound to me, so when I saw him at SCOAN, telling people visiting T.B. Joshua was what moved his ministry into real power, I had to give Joshua another look.

I’ve noticed a couple of things. First, Joshua does not ask for money or teach the prosperity gospel. Africa is full of obvious pulpit pimps, and Africans have a long history of gullibility, so it’s surprising to see a popular charismatic preacher in Africa fail to push the money gospel. Second, people really do get healed in his church. There are some things you can’t fake. For example, a young lady whose skin was falling off appeared in a video. She was topless with blurred areas because she could not wear clothes on her upper body. There is no doubt that her skin was falling off. Her lips were bloody, too. Joshua delivered her, and in a video shot later, she looked completely normal, except that she had some lingering marks and irregularities. While he was delivering her, she got down on her knees and threw up long strings of mucus so thick it was like rubber, and there was blood in it. You can claim they found bloody, abnormally thick mucus somewhere and made her hold it in her mouth and throw it up on cue, but how can you explain the new skin? And why pick a woman who was obviously seriously afflicted? If you’re going to fake healings, you don’t pick people who have real diseases.

I’ll post the video here. It’s absolutely disgusting, so you have been warned.

I still don’t understand Joshua’s ministry. People call him “man of God” and exalt him, and he does not stop them. That’s not healthy. When he teaches, I have a hard time understanding what he’s saying. He’s very inarticulate, and he says a lot of things that don’t seem to mean anything. Sometimes people who are manifesting say they’re controlled by spirits with names that seem very improbable, such as the Queen of the Sea. One guy said he was a wizard, and he called himself a “Grand Lama of Science Beyond Material.” He said he could astrally project and that he used his powers to make certain people rich. Meanwhile, he lived in a tiny shack with a dirt yard. This man said he talked to Lucifer face to face. If so, why didn’t he get Lucifer to do a little better for him?

People from first-world countries travel to SCOAN all the time. SCOAN has a dormitory. They put you up, and you can stay a week. When you look at the wild videos and see the strange people who appear in them, it seems like they’re just a bunch of nuts playing church with a preacher who doesn’t really have much on the ball, but if that’s true, what’s with all the visitors from Europe and Asia? What’s with Bill Subritzky? He was an attorney in New Zealand. He’s not an ignorant laborer who used a ministry to draw attention to himself and make himself seem important.

I Googled Joshua. I can’t find any serious red flags. A woman accused him of rape, but she turned out to be a professional fraud, and she eventually went to SCOAN and recanted publicly. One of SCOAN’s buildings collapsed, and people suggested Joshua, as a SCOAN trustee, was guilty of criminal negligence. That’s pretty weak.

He issued a couple of prophecies that are problematic. The Muslim sect Boko Haram captured over 200 Nigerian girls from the Chibok tribe, and people claim Joshua predicted they would be returned immediately. As of now, many are still missing. The thing is, he didn’t actually say they would returned immediately. If he did, I can’t find it. He said God had said they must be released immediately. He also talked about the 2016 American presidential election and said he saw a woman winning. He didn’t say, “Hillary Clinton will win.” Just that he saw a woman winning. We all know what happened. Joshua says he actually saw her winning the popular vote.

Usually, it’s not that hard to spot pulpit pimps. You don’t have to dig for dirt. They pressure you to give them money. They cheat on their wives, often with men. Credible people show up to accuse them of fornicating with them and/or paying them hush money. They get in trouble for refusing to pay their bills. They turn out to have drug and alcohol problems. Joshua does not seem to have any serious marks against him. He is said to be somewhat wealthy, which he denies, but that’s not very meaningful without more information. Having wealth isn’t a sin.

Watching SCOAN videos actually made me want to visit Nigeria. I would love to see the church up close so I could evaluate it personally.

Africa is a very strange place. The African mind is not like the European mind. They think differently. Maybe things that happen in Africa have to be judged by different criteria.

Joshua says 2020 will be a year of humbling. I’m generally not too keen on prophecies that apply to the whole world, but sometimes they’re true. Coincidentally, or not, I have been getting revelation regarding humility during my illness.

For years, I’ve been asking God to help me with humility. I wouldn’t say I’m generally a proud person, but there are areas that concern me. One of the problems I’ve had is that I haven’t been able to make myself feel as though I were just like people I knew of who had obvious sins in their lives. For example, I felt as though I were not like drug users, even though I had used drugs in college. I told myself I used them “a few times,” and I thought that separated me from people who use drugs for years without reservations. Of course, that was a lie. If you’ve used drugs, you’re a drug user.

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been trying to find ways to describe myself to God that don’t come off like excuses, and I’ve been doing better. As an example of the way I phrase things now, I say, “I am a rescued liar.” I don’t say, “I was like the liars I know,” or, “I have told some lies.” I say, “I am a rescued drug user,” not, “I experimented with drugs a few times.”

I saw a funny story in a book about the White House. A Secret Service agent was investigating Clinton hires so they could get security clearance, and, of course, it turned out to be a hard job. He said one man told him he had experimented with marijuana. The agent, who was apparently tired of hearing this kind of thing, asked him about the results of his experiments. When you conduct experiments, you collect and analyze results. I thought the question was a clever way to deflate a very commonly used excuse.

I used marijuana several times in high school and college. I didn’t like it. I didn’t persist. Should I say I was experimenting? I didn’t create tables or graphs. I didn’t do a statistical analysis. I smoked or ate a drug, and then I giggled a lot. Not the kind of thing you write up for a journal.

When I was in college, I counted the times I used cocaine. It came out to about 20. Somewhere inside me, I felt that if I could count the number of times I used it, I wasn’t a cokehead. Guess what? I’m a rescued drug user.

The Bible forbids drug abuse, and so does the Holy Spirit. There is no mention of frequency. You don’t get 19 free tries.

I came up with a long list of new, honest titles for myself. It wasn’t very pleasant, but it’s important to confess correctly. God fights proud people, and he helps the humble. The Bible says these things expressly. Proud people hide behind excuses. I don’t want God to fight me.

My problem wasn’t so much that I wouldn’t admit what I had done. I confessed things like crazy. My problem was an inability to confess my identity. It’s not enough to say you stole something once. You have to say you’re a forgiven thief. Identity is important.

On a related note, I’ve been listening to Proverbs a lot. Very unpleasant. It’s as though someone sat down and wrote up a long list of very accurate insults directed at me, personally. The person reading the book in my audio Bible will say something awful about people like me, and I’ll cringe, and then I’ll think, “Surely the next thing he says won’t apply to me.” Then he’ll say something even more cutting.

I don’t enjoy it, but I listen to it anyway. Correction from God is like free gold. You don’t just tolerate it. You should grab it and hoard it.

If you want to be humble, Proverbs is for you, as are the gospels. If not, there’s always Joel Osteen.

God gave me a word the other day: “Your word is meant to be spoken.” That was news to me. I had always thought of the Bible as a book to be read, but in truth, hearing it is better. The Bible says, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” The main purpose of the written Bible is to preserve and distribute God’s word. Once you have it in your hand, you should recite it. It’s better than reading it. It will help you memorize it so you can repeat it later when your Bible is not around.

Listening to the Bible will build you up more strongly than reading it. Don’t ask me why.

I don’t know when I’ll be back. Hopefully I will be completely free of disease when I return.

Plus New Old Tool

I may as well post an update on my illness.

As I wrote a while back, I managed to come down with pink eye. The symptoms appeared on the same day I finished major welding on my arbor press stand, so I thought I had burned my eye with the welder’s arc. In retrospect, that would have been a more favorable diagnosis. A welding flash burn goes away in a day or two. It has been two weeks, and I am still having symptoms.

This particular type of virus likes to take a tour of the body. It may start in an eye, but during its junket, it may make the rounds of other parts of the body, like a tourist trying to see every landmark in Europe in 5 days. The list of things it does to people is long and annoying. It can give you cold symptoms. It can make your bones hurt. It can give you pretty amazing diarrhea. It gives some people meningitis. It’s a very versatile microbe.

The first time I looked it up, I saw the phrase “3 to 5 days,” and I was pretty happy. I could stand awful things such as living in Chicago without a pistol for 5 days. Then later I read stuff that completely blew this rosy prediction out of the water. One said the incubation period alone can last 9 days, and another said the illness itself could last two weeks, which has proven true in my case.

Initially, the bug was in my eye. Then it got bored and moved to the general region behind my face. Then it moved into my nose, which is where it is today. Yesterday and the day before, I also had fatigue, and my mood was not great. These are typical pink eye (adenovirus) symptoms, believe it or not. It dabbles in everything.

Of course, I have been praying and so on. I’ve been asking God which doors I left open, to let this thing in.

Today I tried something that had worked well in the past. I simply told it to leave. I didn’t get total healing, but within an hour, I was much better, and that’s how things stand now.

Because I felt better, I decided to take some actions which were pretty aggressive. I decided to torture the invader with spicy food. I ate the better part of a theater-size box of Ferrara Red Hots, and I followed it up with some homemade kung pao chicken so hot it nearly glowed. I have a lot more energy now. Let’s just hope I don’t have to expend it on multiple trips to the bathroom later on tonight.

This virus is extremely contagious. I read a lot about it because I didn’t feel like doing anything else. It usually hits kids, and it spreads like crazy in schools because a) kids are filthy, and b) it makes infectious fluids pour out of practically every orifice in the body. I read that a person’s poo remains full of viruses days after the infection is over. What lucky researcher was assigned the job of looking into that?

In Japan, pink eye is known as “swimming pool fever” because–get this–you can get it from chlorinated pool water! Nice, right? I had no idea pool water could spread disease. Makes me wonder what chlorine is actually good for. Something inside me shrivels when I think of all the pools I’ve been in. Nobody showers before getting into a pool these days, and let’s face it, most kids don’t get out to pee. Think of all the used Band-Aids you’ve seen lying on the bottoms of pools. Imagine the things you didn’t see, yet which were there all the same.

If you can get pink eye, what else can you get? Something like a third of Americans have venereal disease, and I’ve been swimming with them.

It just proves I’m right when I say public pools are disgusting and foul. And hot tubs…who thought that was a good idea? A guy I knew led an all-male prayer group at his church, and one week, they met in his hot tub. So basically they sat in hot man soup and exchanged every possible type of bodily filth. Which they then took home to their families.

I must wash my hands 30 times a day, I use disinfectant wipes all the time, I leave the house about as often as Boo Radley and Howard Hughes, and somehow I got the filth disease! Where is the justice?

Anyway, I feel much better. I still have some chicken. Tomorrow I’m going to add even more heat to it and eat the rest of it.

In other news, my compressed air system should be working by Saturday night. All the parts have arrived. A couple hundred more trips up and down the ladder should get it done. It’s amazing how many complications set in to slow me down.

Here’s something I did not expect: I destroyed the swivel on one of my air hose reels. I didn’t know it had a swivel. Maybe this is why it got destroyed.

My reel has a little brass fitting attached to the hub. A horizontal thread goes out of it, to the compressor. There is a thread perpendicular to the horizontal thread, and it goes to the air hose. When the reel turns, a swivel between the threaded parts lets the reel rotate without twisting anything.

It looks like I failed to use Teflon tape or pipe dope when I installed the hose back in Miami. I used to do a lot of work on my dad’s boat, and it was full of brass and bronze. Someone taught me that it wasn’t necessary to use Teflon or dope, and I guess that’s why I didn’t put any in the hose reel. It was not great advice. When I installed the hose reel here the other day, I had to remove the hose, and when I did, I had to apply so much torque I screwed up the swivel.

It looks like other people do the same thing, because you can find these swivels online. Of course, the best one I found for a good price was backordered just when I needed it. Luckily Amazon had one somebody had returned, so I bought it and saved some money.

I had also bent the stud that held the swivel on. I measured it, and it was an M10-1.5 thread. I figured I was going to have to drive to a store, buy a bolt, cut the head off, and make this weird stud. I decided to look around the shop first, thinking there was no hope. Unbelievably, in an old box of fasteners a tenant had left in one of my dad’s warehouses, I found an M10-1.5 bolt just big enough for the job. I cut the head off with a hack saw and cut two screw slots in the ends. Now I don’t have to search online for a metric air hose reel stud.

Now that I have everything I need, I just have to install the swivel and hose, finish the air lines, fire up the compressor, and look for leaks. I really hope I don’t find any, because nearly all of the connections are 12 feet off the ground.

Once the air line job is done, I’ll be able to move on to other jobs that will improve order in the shop.

I really sabotaged the whole shop organization plan last week. I bought an old Gorton tool grinder on Ebay. Of course, it has turned out to have undisclosed problems, so now I’m buying tools to fix it. I had hoped to be working on a mobile base for it by now. I haven’t taken it off the pallet. I was afraid to take it off because I was thinking I should send it back. The spindle that holds the grinding wheel needs new bearings, and the motor blows my GFCI. The whole thing made me feel discouraged. Then I asked myself why I had so many tools if I was going to give up on a grinder rather than use them. Ouch.

Right now, I need a gear puller to get the arbor off the spindle. Once the arbor is off, I should be able to use an adjustable pin spanner, which arrived today, to get the spindle open. Once that’s done, I should be able to replace the bearings. I hope.

I might as well go ahead and make the mobile base. Now that I have my mill running, I can make pretty fancy cuts on steel tubing. I may cut a couple of pieces of rectangular tubing so I can weld them together in an efficient X configuration. That would make for a very simple base. I would have to have casters with swivels, because they wouldn’t be parallel. It’s not easy to mount parallel casters on a base shaped like an X. If you put 4 casters on a base, and they aren’t parallel (at least on two sides), it won’t move.

Why make an X-shaped base? Because it’s the simplest way to make a base wider than the machine. It will be more stable than a small base.

The grinder is sitting in the floor taking up a tremendous amount of space. It has to be dealt with.

This is my sitrep. I hope you enjoyed it. My advice, as it already was prior to my illness, is to avoid public pools and, when possible, human beings. I hope to cease shedding microbes soon, and then life will return to normal. Or what passes for normal around here.

You have to do Better Than This

I got an interesting email about The Last Reformation and Torben Sondergaard. I’ll post some of the text.

I’ll make this short.

The problem with being deceived is that you don’t know it.

I’ll urge you to look behind the curtains. Don’t look at the person where he stands. Look at the trails and the footprints and what’s in his wake.

It’s not the happy followers right now, you need to talk with or look at. People in destructive cults or at the mercy of narcissists and sociopaths are initially happy.

If you plan on engaging anymore with these people, look long and hard for former members. It’s those who were there three, four or fifty years ago. Most, if not all, are gone.

You’ll find many broken and disappointed lives – to the point of leaving faith – in the wake of Torben Sondergaard’s ministry.

There’s a reason you do not have peace about joining them.
That is the truth and it’s there for you to find if you want.

Call it a cult or not.

Here is my response:

What is your background with TLR? What examples do you have?

Here is some of the second email I received:

If you want, you won’t lack examples in a number where there’s no denying something isn’t quite right. Simply find three or four former followers. It’s that simple. And your responsibility.

My response:

Respectfully, if you expect me to pay serious attention to unsubstantiated claims made by a person I know nothing about, you’re asking way too much. If you can’t do better than this, you shouldn’t bother people about TLR. For all I know, you’re an angry woman Torben dumped in high school.

I’m not responding to this one:

I won’t – as I said before – address mr. Sondergaard or the group itself any further. You seemed like a thoughtful and nice guy, when I read your blog.

Respectfully (followed by an actual respectful comment), I would personally give pause if a stranger took the time to write me, encouraging me to look a litte harder, but I both understand we are not all the same, and I’ve encountered this particular sort of hostility before. It’s fine.

Safe journey down this path.

If this email is correct, I am “hostile.” That’s an accusation. It’s intended to make me feel bad. The “safe journey” part is tacked on as an enhancement: “I am a better Christian than you, because you were mean, and I still said something nice.” It’s sanctimony.

Invalid accusations are often made to put people on the defensive. It’s a good way to move the discussion off-topic when you can’t or won’t back up your claims.

I guess this is why Satan became “the devil.” The word “devil” means “accuser.” He knew how powerful accusation was. He uses accusation to get us to take our eyes off the ball. The person who emailed me can’t or won’t tell me anything useful. Having seen a number of unbalanced people go after TLR already, I pointed out that without evidence, an accuser lacks credibility and looks dodgy. That’s exactly what a reasonable person would say. It’s not evidence of significant hostility. Instead of responding with corroboration, as you or I would, my correspondent has merely accused me.

It’s a little annoying to get strange emails like this, but characterizing what I said as “hostility” is way over the top. It’s a deliberate overreaction intended to make me feel bad and focus on defending myself or apologizing for a nonexistent transgression. It’s a diversion. When you’re trying to convince someone of something, it’s not good to adopt tactics known to be used by enemies of truth. It makes me wonder what force is motivating this person.

Jesus was extremely rude. Read the gospels and see. Using a jilted girlfriend as a tool to express what I meant in no way compares to calling people dogs or sons of Satan, as Jesus did. It doesn’t compare to beating strangers with a whip, as Jesus did. What I said was perfectly fine. It was just blunt.

There was a time when I participated, to my lasting disgrace, in petty Internet flaming, and what I’m seeing in these emails reminds me of a tactic I often saw in those days: drop a research project on a person instead of providing your own facts and analysis. Someone might pop up and say something like, “Donald Trump is a Martian who eats human flesh, and he ran a major heroin ring out of a trailer in Cambodia!” Then you’re expected to spend your weekend Googling in order to prove it’s not true. It’s a powerful tactic of asymmetrical debate. Say something wild, and then put the burden of proving or refuting it on the other party. You don’t have to do any work at all, but the other person does, so in the end, you are likely to lose simply because you keep chasing the ball while the other person merely spins yarns.

This is why lying is so powerful. My sister is one of the world’s great liars, and one of the reasons she has done so much of it is that it takes very little effort and inconveniences other people tremendously. It takes work to find out the truth and articulate it. Telling a lie is quick and effortless. I don’t know if the person who emailed me is lying, but like a liar, he or she is trying to make me do a lot of work to prove something, while refusing to shoulder the same burden. I’m not doing that. I’m not going to dig up former TRL members to talk to. I’m not Dog the Bounty Hunter! No one would do that. I wouldn’t even know where to look.

I have seen videos from people who broke away from other preachers I like, and they’re not exactly convincing. I have not seen any good ones yet. They say things like, “Pete Cabrera healed a guy, but the healing wasn’t permanent.” Really weak. My guess is that if I talked to disgruntled TLR people, they would be equally unconvincing.

In case someone shows up and sees this blog post and has no idea what’s happening, TLR is a Christian movement. They baptize people, and they do street healing. They are full-blown charismatics. Their leader, Torben Sondergaard, is a former baker from Denmark. He says he was driven out of Denmark after TLR received very unfavorable coverage in a TV documentary. I have been to three TLR events. I let them re-baptize me, and I went out and did street healing with them on one occasion. I am not going to join TLR, but fundamentally, I like what they do, and I agree with them for the most part. Healing and miracles are very real.

I know a couple of people who express misgivings about TLR or believe it’s a cult run by a criminal. These are people who don’t actually know anything about TLR, so I discard their opinions. That doesn’t mean I’m not wary. I have checked TLR out on the web, and I’ve found a number of people criticizing them. I looked for real, substantiated criticism, but I could not find it. What I did find was bizarre innuendo from people who seemed to be mentally unstable. If people were full-blown demoniacs suffering from delusions and Satanic hatred, this would be the type of thing you would expect them to publish.

Here’s a good example:

The worst thing I’ve heard about TLR (from a known source which does not seem uninformed or delusional) came from Tom Loud’s office. Loud is a preacher and pastor who also does street healing. According to someone on his staff, he believes TLR teaches that people have to be water-baptized and speak in tongues in order to be saved, and he disagrees. This is the only credible criticism I’ve heard about them, and you can see how mild it is. Even if it’s true, it just shows that two preachers disagree about two points of doctrine. Welcome to Christianity. This is not big news.

Here’s something I always say: the feebleness of your enemies’ criticism is the best proof you’re on the right track. Consider our two relatively recent presidential impeachments. Bill Clinton was impeached for lying under oath on video, which is a disbarment offense and, under the right circumstances, a felony. It’s a very big deal. Donald Trump, on the other hand, was impeached for saying something in an official phone call which could, sort of, be characterized as an effort to help his upcoming campaign OR could be a totally innocent effort to get an important matter investigated, which would be a completely normal and ethical request for a president. Then there was George Bush. The press characterized him as a liar, and many leftists called for his impeachment, because he said something about uranium ore in Iraq, which later turned out to be completely true.

When people shoot spitballs at you, it’s usually because they don’t have bullets. Leftists didn’t hide their smoking guns when it came to Bush and Trump. They hit them with everything they had, and it wasn’t much. Generally, the same thing is true of Torben Sondergaard and TLR. I have been looking into them for over a year, and I still can’t find any disturbing information. But I have seen some strange claims from very odd individuals.

Thinking atheists might be less deranged than typical anti-charismatic Christian fanatics, I looked at a site called Rationalwiki. It appears to be some kind of atheist reference site, so one would think that if there were any real dirt on TLR, they would have it. Sure enough, it has a long list of “proofs” that TLR is a cult. For example, TLR teaches that people should pray in tongues. TLR members went to a hospital a number of times and prayed for the sick to be healed, and this annoyed the administrators, who made them leave. TLR teaches that demons cause disease and mental illness. TLR teaches that adults should be baptized. In summary, TLR is a charismatic Christian movement! If you think every charismatic is a cult nut, then Rationalwiki has succeeded in proving its case against TLR.

I have some idea what a cult looks like. I belonged to a couple of churches that truly were cult-like. Trinity Church in Miami teaches the poor that if they give financial offerings to the church instead of paying their electric bills, God will give them prosperity. The church deducts tithes from its employees’ paychecks and requires them to work for nothing as volunteers. They held secret meetings about me when I left. That’s a cult. New Dawn Ministries in Miami told people not to talk to anyone who had left. The pastor had a screaming fit in the parking lot and demanded that a friend of mine tell him things about me. He waved his hands in my friend’s face, as though trying to pick a fight. My friend got so mad he told the pastor to back off or get a beating. That’s a cult. Telling people to get baptized, or that they should speak in tongues, is not cult behavior. It’s normal Christian doctrine, taught in many, many churches.

For all I know, the person who emailed me has a blockbuster revelation about TLR, but I don’t know what it is, so that’s the end of that. Maybe this is a fine, loving person who has very important news that needs to be shared. How can we know if we can’t see it?

I Googled the name the person used, and I found something on the web from 2018. A person with the same name was defending a positive prophecy a truly disturbed preacher made about TLR. If my correspondent is the same person, something must have happened during 2019 to cause a change of heart.

But I don’t know what that was.

As for me “not having peace” about joining TLR, that’s completely inaccurate. I never wanted to join any movement after leaving New Dawn. I never felt disturbed about joining TLR. I just felt God didn’t want me to do it, and I also thought TLR was about to become a denomination, which is not something I want to be involved with very deeply. I never felt that God was telling me TLR was evil or seriously misguided. It’s just that I don’t join churches, denominations, or groups. I don’t have to have a bad feeling about a particular organization in order to want to avoid joining. I won’t join even if I feel good about them.

I have recommended TLR’s events, but I don’t advise anyone to join (or not join) TLR. I think TLR is imperfect. On the other hand, I can say some very good things about TLR.

1. They never pressure you.

2. They never squeeze you for money.

3. They do not teach the money gospel or use their power to get wealth.

4. They are very good at baptizing people with the Holy Spirit.

5. They promote true inner change via the Holy Spirit.

6. They truly do cast out demons, which are very real, just as Jesus, who is God, did.

7. They are very nice people, unlike the people who ran Trinity Church and New Dawn Ministries.

8. They are doing something important which no one else seems to be willing to do.

How perfect do people have to be, before you consider them worthy of knowing you? You’re supposed to rely on the Holy Spirit, not men, for instruction. You should try to find other people who are sound, but if you’re hoping for a perfect teacher, you are looking in the wrong world.

If you want to, check TLR out. Watch some videos. If it interests you, pray about it, and then do what God tells you. If you don’t think God wants you to fool with TLR, don’t. I’m not a recruiter. I can’t recruit for a group I won’t join.

When people come to you with serious complaints about ministries, and by “serious,” I mean complaints that have some basis in fact, you should look into them, but it’s also important to be seasoned so you can identify the strange tactics characteristically employed by people who are not worthy of your attention. If their accusations are vague, ask them to firm them up. If they don’t provide facts, ask for them. If they claim to be in a position to know things, ask for the relevant facts about their backgrounds.

I can back up every single thing I’ve said about Trinity Church and New Dawn Ministries. I spell things out. I name names. If I can do it, I can also require other people to do it.

A really good ministry will attract all sorts of nutty rumors and accusations. Look at Jesus. Two days ago, I saw a rabbi on Youtube telling the world Mary was a prostitute and calling Jesus a bastard. He said some really nasty things. Respected teachers say Jesus was a magician, and some say he’s in hell, boiling in feces. It’s to be expected. If no one is mad at you, you are definitely on the wrong track. An attack brings a response, and our lives are supposed to be attacks on Satan. It shouldn’t bother you when really weak accusations come out concerning a ministry. It’s a very good sign. A bad ministry will face strong accusations, not just slanders and innuendoes. Jim Bakker was convicted of fraud. Torben Sondergaard is accused of speaking in tongues and casting out demons. There is a difference.

Maybe some day I’ll find out that TLR has a bunch of dirty secrets. It hasn’t happened yet. If it does, I’ll come here and let you know.

Audio Bible Rip Completed

I’m finally free! I just finished ripping the Zondervan audio King James to MP3’s, and I’m loading them onto a flash drive to see if it works.

It has been two weeks since my CD’s arrived. I’ve been working on this almost every day, ripping one chapter at a time, renaming the chapters, saving them in folders…what a chore. I just read that there are 1189 chapters in the Bible. I had to go through this procedure with every single one.

I’m looking forward to having a portable audio Bible. The other day I heard Mark Hemans say Jesus was present in his word, and it made sense to me, so I decided I wanted to be able to hear the Bible wherever I was. Hemans says the word itself has power. I suppose that depends somewhat on the person who is listening to it, but I know it’s true in my case.

This will be great. I memorize things and forget them. These MP3’s will help me hang on.

Now I know what I have to look forward to: weeks of waiting to see if I messed up any of the files. If I have, they’re going to jump out at me eventually. Then I’ll have to go back and redo them.

I have the Psalms playing on my bedroom TV already. They’re over 4 hours long, and I have them repeating. We’ll see how it goes.

It’s always wonderful when computers turn out to be good for something other than cat pictures and porn.

Old Man with Kids’ Ailment

I guess I should blog about the physical issues I complained about last week.

On Thursday, I finished up the welding on my arbor press stand. It was my second effort. I had had a lot of problems with it. I’m still learning how to control welding warpage, and the first time I put the stand together, I found a significant bow in the top. It would not have affected the stand’s usefulness, but part of the purpose of welding is to learn how to weld better. It’s not just about function. I cut the top off the stand, added some crossmembers under the top, and put the stand back together. Now it’s much better. I’ve written about this already.

In the days prior to this welding session, I had noticed I wasn’t feeling quite right. One night last week, I felt as though a cold were trying to get ahold of me. I prayed and so on, and it went away. After that, I didn’t think much about it.

The night after I put the stand together for the last time, I started feeling a sensation in my left eye. It was as though there were a grain of sand under my eyelid. I assumed I had somehow managed to flash my eye with the welding arc. Welding arcs give off a great deal of UV radiation. You can actually get a severe sunburn from welding in short sleeves. If you let the radiation reach your eyes, you can get what’s known as a flash burn.

When you get a flash burn, you feel as though there is sand in your eyes. It goes away in a day or two and doesn’t do any lasting harm.

When I went to bed on Thursday, I knew I was not going to sleep well with my eye bothering me, so I took some painkillers. I always keep a few on hand. Doctors treat everyone like an addict these days, and it can be very hard to get painkillers when you need them, so if you don’t finish a prescription, it’s smart to keep the leftover pills.

Oddly, doctors don’t treat addicts like addicts. Every city has a bunch of down-and-out or foreign-born doctors who will gladly write painkiller prescriptions for people who are obviously addicts, but it can be very hard for the rest of us to get help when we need it.

People who abuse drugs can get them whenever they want. People who need them can’t get them. It’s a lot like gun control.

The first time I had a kidney stone, they sent me home from the hospital on a Saturday morning with 4 Percocets. A Percoset lasts 4 to 6 hours, and I had over 48 hours to go before I could get to my regular doctor. I had been on intravenous Dilaudid all night, so little Percocets, even in amounts corresponding to the time period in question, were not going to get the job done anyway. That’s never going to happen again if I can help it.

On Thursday, I took more than one pill, but they didn’t seem to help. I didn’t feel much of anything, except that I was drowsy. I took several doses, figuring I would know if I were taking too much. When you overdo painkillers, you don’t just drop dead instantly. You can tell when you’ve had enough.

The next day, I had some nausea early in the afternoon. I wondered if I had poisoned myself with the pain pills. I threw up several times. That wasn’t a big deal. Throwing up doesn’t bother me at all. After all, I went to college, where I learned all about throwing up.

The pain in my eye did not go away the next day, so I wondered if I had a really severe burn. I asked God if I should go to a doctor, and I felt the answer was “no.”

Yesterday, I finally figured out what was going on. It was pink eye, or an adenovirus infection. This is a condition like a cold which can affect your eyes, your respiratory tract, and your intestines. It can cause vomiting, diarrhea, eye pain, and lots of tear flow. My symptoms fit the description perfectly. I even had some weird, otherwise-inexplicable lower-GI stuff that was consistent with an adenovirus infection.

You can’t treat an adenovirus infection, so there was nothing to do but pray and wait. I would like to say I prayed and the symptoms disappeared instantly, but that has not happened yet. That’s not a problem. Apart from a slight annoying sensation in one eye, I feel fantastic.

I thought I had discovered a new way to get a flash burn while wearing a welding helmet and doing things right, but it appears that I was wrong. That’s a relief. A flash burn lasting for days would be a rare and serious thing.

I’m still waiting for my tool grinder to arrive. It’s exciting. If you have a lathe, a mill, a drill press, a tool grinder, and a surface grinder, you have everything you really need in order to claim you have a machine shop. After the tool grinder arrives, all I’ll lack will be the surface grinder. One day I’d like to have a horizontal mill, but that can wait.

While I wait, I’m fixing the shop up. Today I’ll be working on a new 50-amp socket next to the air compressor, and I’m planning to get an air line kit so I can run air lines all over the shop. Right now, all I have is one spool of air hose with a 3/8″ ID. It’s connected to my little compressor, which is only good for filling tires, running the impact wrench, and running a blowgun. I have a big 1/2″ reel I want to put on the wall, and I also want to have “drops” (local connections) in three areas of the shop.

Traditionally, people have used black iron pipe for air lines. I’m not doing it. It sounds like a pain. I don’t even know if Home Depot–my main resource–sells black pipe. I’ve never used it. I’m not sure what it looks like.

Some people use PVC pipe, which is cheap and easy to install. It’s great. Unless it explodes. When that happens, it sends sharp pieces of PVC shrapnel into the air at high speed. Most people agree this is a bad thing. It’s okay to run PVC underground, but if it’s exposed, it’s dangerous.

These days, a lot of people use hose. There is a company called Rapidair that sells kits for compressed air. You get 100 feet of expensive hose, plus some fittings. It will allow up to 175 psi, and you can get 3/4″ ID hose, which ought to be good for air flow. There is no point in buying a big compressor and using skinny hoses.

I’m thinking of getting a Rapidair kit. I considered buying PEX hose from the hardware store. It’s cheaper, and it works. The problem is that the connections are restrictive. That’s what I’ve read, anyway. I may want to upgrade my compressor eventually, and the last thing I want is to have to redo my air lines because the air can’t get through.

Adding electrical sockets will get cords off the floor, and adding air lines will get hoses off the floor. It all adds up to a more mobile shop. Moving wheeled tools is not easy when you’re constantly lifting cords and hoses.

In conclusion, things are going well, and my record of not burning myself with the welder remains unblemished.

Stop Comparing and Start Confessing

It looks like God doesn’t require the same things from everyone.

Jesus said he would require more from those to whom much had been given than from those who had received little. I don’t think I understood that until recently.

People always wonder what God wants from them. Is it enough to ask for salvation and then go on living the same way? Are there things you have to give up in order to make it into heaven? Can’t you just go on sinning and asking for forgiveness? That’s what most of us do. A lot of us have a clever plan: live it up, and then do a deathbed conversion. It probably doesn’t work. God is not mocked.

I think our natural tendency is to try to find out how much we can get away with instead of asking how God can help us give more. “Can I still watch this?” “Can I still drink that?” “Can I still have sex with my boyfriend so he won’t leave me?”

I watch Mark Hemans a lot, and it always amazes me how many people who are shacking up come to him and ask him for things, including special anointings. He exposes them and tells them to get married. How can any Christian think fornication is okay? When did God make this change? Where are the fornicating apostles in the Bible?

Jesus told a young ruler that if he wanted the kingdom of heaven, he should sell everything he had and give it to the poor. That’s scary. Do we all have to do that? The Bible says that after the Spirit of Holiness fell on Pentecost, early Christians pooled their wealth and helped each other out so no one needed anything. Are we required to do that? Do I have to sell my house and go live in an apartment so my Christian neighbor who blows all his money on liquor, strippers, drugs, and lottery tickets can pay his mortgage?

Are there different levels of Christianity? Is it okay for some people to just sit in church and try to behave, while others have to turn their lives upside-down and go out and preach and heal on the streets?

Are there different levels of favor? We like to think God loves each of us just as much, and the Bible says he loves us as he loved Jesus. What’s the real story, though? Are there people he just enjoys working with more than others? Every father has one or two kids who are more pleasant to be with than the others.

The other day I saw Mark Hemans tell a lady other people were hard on her because God gave her special favor. Spirits turned people against her and made them jealous. Ordinarily, you would not expect a preacher to say something like that. People don’t want to think other people are more favored than they are. I think he was right, though. I have experienced hatred because of the favor I’ve received. I can’t count the number of times it has happened. It’s normal for me.

If you’re an heir, you know parents treat their children differently, and very often, it’s justified. Jerky kids usually receive less, as they should. They are harder to raise, and they tend to suck up a disproportionate amount of resources and attention while their parents are alive, so when their parents die, they want to reward the kids who tormented them less. Also, a smart parent will give more wealth to his successful children, because the wasteful ones will lose it all. There is no point in building up an estate just so you can hand wealth over to someone who will destroy it in a year.

You’re not really entitled to an equal share of what your parents have. You’re not entitled to anything. An inheritance is a gift.

It’s understandable that a parent might want to give more money to a poorer child, to even things out, but is it really fair? If you’ve worked and saved, and your brother is a 50-year-old wannabe rock star who plays in local bars and has to have his parents cosign car loans, why should you be penalized? Your brother isn’t going to be financially secure just because your parents give him money. He’ll blow it on cocaine, age-inappropriate clothes, liquor, and women. He may already have debts, into which his inheritance will vanish as soon as he receives it.

Think of the prodigal son. His father divided his wealth and gave the prodigal half of it, and the prodigal lost it. When he returned home in disgrace, his father took him back. But look what he told his other son: “All I have is yours.” He didn’t write the prodigal into his will. All the prodigal got was food, shelter, a ring, and some clothes.

The concept of sibling rivalry is very prominent in the Bible. The first example is the envy Satan feels for the human race. We’re not his siblings, because he is not a son of God, but he was a son of God at one time, and he was rejected. Satan sinned and was cast out of heaven, and there is nothing he can do about it. He will burn no matter how much he pleads. We, on the other hand, can be saved even though we’re filthy. We can be saved, sin again, repent, and still be saved. He hates us for that.

Cain hated Abel. Esau hated Jacob, whom God helped. Ham’s children stole Shem’s land, which is why it was called “Canaan.” Isaac had much more favor than Ishmael. Joseph was favored above all his brothers, as was David.

The Bible says it’s not our place to question God if he blesses one person more than another.

It must be, then, that God feels more closeness to certain believers, and that he does more for them. If that’s correct, then he also asks more of them. Joseph was sold into slavery. Isaac was nearly sacrificed. Jacob had to suffer under Laban for many years. Samson could not drink wine, which was allowed under the Jewish law, and he couldn’t let a razor touch his head.

I keep trying to get closer to God, and it seems like he keeps asking me to give things up. I had to give up caffeine, which everyone else drinks all day. I had to quit reading the news. I had to give up certain types of movies. I had to stay out of bars. Now I think God is telling me to give up all movies, including TV shows, except for nonfiction.

The other day, on a whim, I rented an old Gary Cooper movie I thought was harmless: Sergeant York. It’s the story of Alvin York, a soldier from Tennessee. He captured 132 Germans single-handed, in one day, and he killed at least 25. The movie is mostly fiction, but it’s based on York’s experiences.

Afterward, I felt God telling me I was opening doors by watching movies that seemed completely innocent, and he explained why.

Imagine you have a problem with worry. This can be demonic, and it’s a serious problem. Worry is a sin, and we are commanded not to do it. Worry doesn’t make you a righteous person; it makes you a faithless person, and God equates faith with righteousness.

Now suppose you watch a movie about someone who has a problem. Maybe it’s Iron Man, and he has to save the earth (again). What happens when you watch the movie? You get worried. In fact, you watch the movie just so you can worry yourself temporarily.

What happens when you assume an attitude a demon likes? Every Christian knows the answer. If you stimulate your own lust, you can get demons of lust. If you stimulate your own anger, you can get demons of anger. The same applies to fear and worry. If you watch movies that put you under stress, you’re inviting spirits who will do the same thing, all the time. It’s like dumping garbage in your own yard. If you do it long enough, your neighbors will start doing it.

It’s obvious to us that we need to avoid pornography, but nobody seems to be aware that there are demons in areas other than sex. If you’re watching a movie hero beat people up and cut their limbs off, and you’re enjoying hating the villains and seeing them suffer, how can you not be opening doors to demons of anger, cruelty, and revenge?

In Sergeant York, the Germans killed Gary Cooper’s friends, and he killed Germans with a great deal of anger. Is that a healthy thing to watch?

Sports are unhealthy, too. Think about it. When you watch sports, you’re hoping one team will win and the other will lose. You’re hoping half of the people on the field will have a rotten day they may relive every day until they die. For many people, one defeat makes the difference between a life of ease and glory and a life of pity and financial hardship. That’s what you’re rooting for. Every game is a zero-sum event. You can’t have two winning teams. There have to be some losers.

When I was a kid, I made it to the national spelling bee, and I went down in the second round. I didn’t prepare at all. The pronouncer mispronounced a word I wasn’t familiar with, and I spelled it the way he pronounced it. Ever since then, it has bothered me to read about the national spelling bee. I could have won, if I had made an effort. I can’t imagine what it must be like to play for the Miami Dolphins or some other third-rate sports team that loses many times a year. I can’t imagine what it feels like to be Ronda Rousey.

In God’s system, everyone is supposed to win. We don’t get together to compete with each other. We help each other, and God helps all of us. It’s not a zero-sum game. It’s an extra-mile game.

It appears that I have a lot of favor. I seem to have a lot fewer problems than many people I know. I want to have even more favor, and I want to be closer to God. Should I feel bad because I can’t watch movies? Isn’t God just asking me to stop poisoning myself? Isn’t an improved relationship with God a colossal reward? How many people have wanted that and had no way to get it?

Most people I know cause their own problems, and they won’t do much to help themselves. They won’t pray in tongues. They won’t try to rid themselves of demons. They won’t try to shake their bad habits or to be filled with the fruit and gifts of the Spirit. They insist on hanging onto worldly entertainment and worldly culture. When you tell them about good teaching, they find fault with it even though they haven’t looked at it. Their pride makes them hang onto old doctrine that never helped anyone, simply because it seems more compatible with the culture of the world.

Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also,” and I see people proving it. They aren’t that hungry for God’s help or his company, so they settle for lives full of problems that never get solved. Then they complain as though circumstances were the cause. “I don’t have this or that blessing you have, which made it easy for you.”

When things are easy for me, it’s because I made a few little sacrifices for God. I’m not close to God because I’m blessed. I’m blessed because I’m close to God, and the same thing can happen to you. But it’s easier to criticize and envy. People like to be comforted, not exhorted. They love being told their problems aren’t their fault.

Like I always say, I must be the only Christian on earth who actually deserves his problems.

God told me this a long time ago: “Excuses are lies.” The Bible says liars will go to the lake of fire, and it probably applies mostly to people who make excuses for sin.

I suppose favor is like anything else. The favor you get from God depends on the favor you give him.

I don’t think you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor. When Jesus told the young ruler he should do that, he was showing him how hard it was to enter the kingdom of heaven under the old covenant. He said that with God, it was possible for a rich man to enter. I don’t think we have to pool our belongings and pass them around. The people who were present at Pentecost were given the grace to do that by the Spirit of Holiness, and we have not received that grace. But you do have to give yourself to God, withholding nothing. If he wants you to get rid of cable TV and stop going to Hooters, you should obey. If there is anything good he offers, you should try to get it instead of deciding it’s not worth the price. If someone you know is giving more up, and that person is doing better than you are, you shouldn’t spit bitterness and envy at that person and hold yourself out as a super saint God is mistreating. You should look at yourself and ask God what you’re doing wrong.

I am going to keep pushing forward. I know God wants to give me more inner improvement, and I am determined to go after it. If he blesses me outwardly in the process, better still.

Thoughts on an Ineffective Life

Yesterday, I learned that Terry Jones had died.

Jones was a member of the Monty Python comedy team. He also wrote a large number of children’s books and scholarly publications. He was an authority on Geoffrey Chaucer, the medieval British author who is famous for writing poems and a collection of coarse stories which appears to have been derived from The Decameron. Jones directed The Life of Brian, which was the story of a man who was misidentified as the Messiah by a confused public.

If you don’t know which member of the team was Jones, I can help. Here are some of his well-known roles: the prince who refused to marry Princess Lucky, the naked organist, Brian’s mother, Mr. Creosote, and Sir Bedevere. If that doesn’t help, maybe it’s best to say he was the second-least prominent of the six actors, after Terry Gilliam, who focused mainly on animation during the group’s early years.

When asked what he would like to have inscribed on his tombstone, Jones said, “Maybe a description of me as a writer of children’s books or some of my academic stuff — maybe as the man who restored Richard II’s reputation. He was a terrible victim of 14th-century political spin, you know. I think those are my best bits.”

Monty Python’s Flying Circus was a big deal to me when I was a teenager. It figured prominently in my list of toxic influences, along with Henry Miller, Fritz Perls, the cast of Saturday Night Live, and the staff of the National Lampoon.

I remember the day the first VCR was advertised in the Miami Herald. My best friend at the time–another very toxic influence–called me on the phone. He had seen the ad, too. Sony had created a TV with a built-in Betamax. We were ecstatic to think we would be able to record every episode of Monty Python. We had already memorized every line we could.

I was such a fan, I even bought Monty Python books. I bought the script of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a film in which our loving God was depicted with the face of Karl Marx. I bought something called The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok, which was a print rehash of a lot of the TV jokes. I even bought Dr. Fegg’s Nasty Book of Knowledge, which was written by Jones and Michael Palin. Finally, I had my own copy of A Liar’s Autobiography, which was written by Graham Chapman.

This week people are praising Terry Jones for his life’s work. All I can think is, “Thank God I didn’t end up like him.” He has a lot to answer for.

When I was young, I thought my gift for humor was a big deal. I didn’t get over this misconception until I was middle-aged. I thought I was put on earth to make easy money making people laugh. I thought irreverence and verbal cruelty were wonderful things. I thought humorists did a lot of good by attacking people who behaved badly. I didn’t understand how sanctimonious many humorists, including the Python crew, truly were. Humor is a great cover for self-righteousness and ruthlessness.

People like Terry Jones, John Belushi, Chevy Chase, George Carlin, Bill Murray, John Hughes, Doug Kenney, and P.J. O’Rourke poisoned my life, and the lives of many others, with their immature views. I’m sure they meant well, or as well as a person can, in that state of ignorance and corruption, but they did a great deal of damage. Young people like me identified with them and emulated them. This may work out well when you have a Hollywood support system behind you, but it’s not so smart when you’re a typical young person who needs the goodwill of others in order to succeed in life. It didn’t work out well for me. I didn’t do much to build a decent life for myself. I fell behind other people.

I thought it was possible for a person who wrote shock humor to be a good human being. If I was nice to people I liked, and I didn’t steal or kill people, I was a good person. I barely knew God. I knew almost nothing about him. I didn’t realize I was supposed to be full of the Holy Spirit or that my purpose was to help people to be like God. I didn’t know verbal cruelty was the same thing as murder in God’s eyes.

Satan is like a three-card monte dealer. Three-card monte is a game played by criminals. They set cardboard boxes up on city sidewalks and use them for tables until the cops come along. In three-card monte, there are two black cards and a red card. The dealer holds the cards face-down and moves them around the box, and then he invites people to pick the red card. It looks easy, and to make it easier, the dealer will always have a shill who appears out of nowhere, plays, and wins. The game is rigged, however, so there is no way to beat the dealer.

Satan tries to get us to do unprofitable things with our lives, and he allows a few people to appear to succeed so we will be encouraged to keep trying. Example: there are very few successful rock musicians compared to the number of people who never make it. Most people who try to make it in rock end up playing in local bars until they die or get real jobs. We admire people like Steven Tyler, who behave badly all their lives and still become rich and famous. We don’t feel quite the same way about our 50-year-old siblings who dress like teenagers, sleep on our couches, and pawn our silver because they’re still on the verge of making it.

Jones, whether he knew it or not, was a shill, just like the rest of his team. For every humorist who makes it, there are millions who screw up their lives and their relationships with God. Many of the shills, for that matter, have lives that go bad toward the end, and many go to hell. John Belushi overdosed. Doug Kenney fell off a cliff and died. Douglas Adams, a fierce atheist, died young. Sam Kinison, a shock comedian who abandoned a career as a Pentecostal minister, died in a car wreck on his way to a casino town. For Satan, a few shills are a very profitable investment.

Jones wrote children’s books which were full of occult material. One of his book features a friendly goblin who offers to take a little girl to the goblin city. A goblin, like a genie or fairy, is just a demon, and demons are real. Reading stories about supernatural creatures like goblins can open doors to demons. Through such stories, your children can become ill or have severe psychological problems. When you write such stories for children, you’re literally evangelizing for Satan. You’re doing tremendous harm to people God created you to help.

If you watch Mark Hemans on Youtube, you will see him tell a woman to throw out the fairy books she got for her daughter. He says they opened the girl up to demonic attack.

Some people defend the Tolkien books because Tolkien wrote them with the aim of promoting Christianity. That’s wrong. You can’t use stories of sorcery and demons to help people serve God. Consider the hundreds of millions of people who love Tolkien. What percentage are even aware of Tolkien’s intentions? Surely less than one percent. It’s the same bunch of nerds who sit in basements playing Dungeons and Dragons. They’re not attacted to Tolkien because they love Jesus. They’re attracted because they love sorcery and demons.

I read the Tolkien books, and I was a Christian at the time, and it never occurred to me that they had anything to do with Christianity. Tolkien fooled himself. His friend C.S. Lewis made the same mistake, writing about witches and a magical wardrobe. No one should have a Narnia book in his house.

Jones was proud that he had written dangerous books for kids, and he was also proud that he had written about Chaucer. That seems very strange to me. How can you think Chaucer matters? Whose life have you improved by writing about a long-dead storyteller? What problems have you solved? It’s like being proud of graffiti. It’s meaningless.

Jones never grew up. He was spiritually stunted, and so are his friends. Take a look at what John Cleese said at Graham Chapman’s funeral:

Graham Chapman, co-author of the parrot sketch, is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He’s kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great head of light entertainment in the sky. And I guess we’re all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, of such capability for kindness, of such unusual intelligence, should now so suddenly be spirited away at the age of only 48, before he had achieved many of the things of which he was capable and before he’d had enough fun. Well, I feel that I should say, “Nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard, I hope he fries.” And the reason I feel I should say this is he would never forgive me if I didn’t; if I threw away this glorious opportunity to shock you all on his behalf.

Cleese, a grown man with a law degree, then went on to toss out the F-word, to the general approval of those assembled.

It reminds me of the way Dan Aykroyd behaved at John Belushi’s funeral. He showed up in a ridiculous biker costume (picture Dan Aykroyd trying to fit in with real bikers), and when the mourners entered the church, Aykroyd made a show of stepping off the sidewalk and climbing over the church’s picket fence, as if to honor his dead friend’s contempt for authority. Meanwhile, somewhere else, Belushi had already learned the fate he had earned through his own contempt.

People like this led me away from God and his peace and into a life of humiliation, failure, guilt, and depression. Their kind is still at it today. When one generation dies and goes to hell, Satan raises up a new one, and we continue to lionize them while they feed us poisoned sweets.

I wish I had had someone to tell me the truth when I was young. I had a cornucopia of voices telling me all the wrong things, but there wasn’t one person who knew the Holy Spirit and wanted to introduce me to him. I had Henry Miller, John Cleese, Joseph Heller, and the rest, but there was no Derek Prince. There was no Mark Hemans. When I tried to find God, I ran into goaltenders like Kenneth Copeland and Benny Hinn, who were actually put in my way to make sure I never found the path. I didn’t stand a chance.

Think of the contrast between Terry Jones and Mark Hemans. Jones made naughty, sophomoric jokes, like a mischievous schoolboy, and he led other people into iniquity. He wrote books about a dead man no one cares about. He made himself rich, he bathed himself in glory, and then he died. Mark Hemans shows up in churches, and he frees people from things like paralysis and autism. He delivers desperate believers from cancer. He helps people to know the Holy Spirit. He helps them and their families to live in peace, good health, victory, and the knowledge of eternal salvation.

Who is the real success?

When someone like Jones dies, Satan makes sure lots of people honor him. He wants the rest of us to want to go out the same way. I’m not fooled. In all likelihood, right now, Terry Jones would give absolutely anything–even his limbs–to be where I am at this moment, with one more chance to repent. If Graham Chapman could have spoken at his own funeral, he would have begged people not to follow him.

I’m just glad God helped me come around before I died, and I’m glad I didn’t have great success when I was pursuing the wrong things. Had I succeeded, I would be just as smug and confident as the many damned humorists who preceded me. Thank God Jones and his colleagues failed to ensnare me. I forgive them all.

Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, and Terry Gilliam are still here. Maybe some of them will wake up while there is still time.

My Car is my Church

Obviously, I have not been blogging much over the last week. I think the reason is that I have been spending a lot of time ripping CD’s.

A while back, I found myself listening to audio Bible files on Youtube, and I realized how useful they were. I decided I should get myself an audio version of the King James Bible, turn it into MP3 files, and put the files in all my devices.

Finding a good Bible was not easy. There is no perfect translation, but there are definitely some bad ones. I don’t want a feminist/socialist/environmentalist/anti-male/hipster translation. I want the paternalistic/cisgender/heterosexual/privileged Bible. I want God to “mansplain” to me. I’m pretty happy with the King James and the New King James, and the King James is the only translation which is a great work of English literature as well as a solid reference book, so the King James is what I picked.

Once I had chosen a version, I had to look through different editions. I finally opted for the Zondervan dramatized audio Bible. It doesn’t add to the text, but it does use different actors for different voices. It uses a woman’s voice for the book of Esther, which is moderately annoying, but overall, it was the best audio Bible I found for a decent price. The Royal Shakespeare Company did one that is supposedly phenomenal, but it’s only available on used cassettes.

Ripping the disks (Why do so many people insist on “disc”?) is taking quite a while. The Bible is a very big book. I’m doing one chapter at a time and then combining the files into single-book files. I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes me 10 more days.

Meanwhile, I have been watching a lot of Mark Hemans videos. It seems like the stuff I watch keeps increasing in quality. I watched a guy named Tom Fischer heal a lot of people, and it was great, but he got married and wandered off into talking about the health benefits of essential oils. I watched Tom Loud, Doug Collins, and The Last Reformation, and they were better. Mark Hemans is on the next step up.

Here’s what you usually see when charismatic preachers talk about healing. Some money-lover like Jerry Savelle will say someone he knows in Africa touched some person who was full of tumors, and that person was healed instantly and started running circles around the church. You won’t hear the preacher’s name or the name of the person who was healed. There won’t be any follow-up. Then the person you’re listening to will ask you for money.

Mark Hemans is not like that. He’ll say he healed someone of, for example, autism, and then he’ll say, “And you can find the video on Youtube.” Then you’ll find the video, and sure enough, there will be footage of some kid who used to be completely messed up, talking and behaving normally. You’ll see footage shot before the healing, proving the child had problems. You’ll hear the parents talk before and after the healing. You’ll see the kid doing things he couldn’t do before.

It seems like everyone is autistic these days. I have a small social circle, but I have four friends who have autistic kids! Four! And one of them has a parent who may well qualify. Autism is such a hot topic, I’ve had people try to tell me I have Asperger’s. People are blaming vaccines, pesticides, power lines, global warming…everything except demons. Why is that? We’re embarrassed to talk about demons. We think people will think we’re ignorant savages.

Here’s something interesting. Not only are demons involved in many, many conditions; they are involved in problems that seem to result from injury. You may think symptoms that follow injuries are purely physical. Mark Hemans healed a paralyzed boy whose are was injured during an emergency delivery, and he said a demon was the real reason for the paralysis. Go to Youtube and watch the video. You will see the boy raise his arm normally for the first time in his life. I know someone whose child has this problem. What if it could have been healed 25 years ago, simply by casting out a spirit?

Here’s something obvious which God showed me: even if you don’t believe diseases are caused by demons, it is definitely true that infectious diseases have spirits and that they live inside you. How do I know this? Every creature has a spirit. You can read Ecclesiastes if you don’t believe me; I know some Christians teach that animals have no spirit. Think about this: God puts life into inanimate matter by breathing his Spirit into them. There is no other way? How, then, can a living thing not have a spirit?

The Bible says there are horses in the supernatural realm. Remember the horsemen of the Apocalypse? If there are horse spirits in heaven, why would you think a horse here on earth can’t have a spirit?

If you have bacteria, fungi, viruses, mycoplasms, prions, parasites, or other types of living matter in you causing disease, you have spirits in you. All these creatures have spirits. I don’t know why this wasn’t obvious to me years ago. If the things that are in you causing disease have spirits, how can you not believe getting rid of spirits will improve your health? If you can make the spirit of a bacterium leave you, how can you not be healed of the disease it causes? It’s funny that no one ever teaches this.

Hemans healed a lady of bowel cancer, and then he forgot all about her. A year later, he returned to her area, and she showed up and surprised him. She brought a file of medical documents, including color photos. Whoever does the production work for Hemans dug up the footage of her initial meeting with him, and it’s part of the video in which she produces the documents.

This is not how healing preachers traditionally work. Generally, no one checks up on them. There is no documentation. There is no film, except for the film of the initial prayer and alleged healing.

These films are like those awful holiday newsletter cards some families send out. They always say Bobby got straight A’s again and George’s business opened three new locations. They never say Bobby turned gay and George got convicted of driving while intoxicated, even if everyone in town knows.

Many people have gone to meetings featuring Benny Hinn and Oral Roberts, to name two, claimed they were healed, and then either lost their healings or turned out not to be healed at all. This is what Christians are used to. We make no effort to check up on the healed. We don’t want to hear about those who didn’t get healed after all. They make us uncomfortable, so we ignore them.

It’s a new experience for the church when God confirms a healer’s work. We’re not used to that.

It’s important to note that Hemans doesn’t run around begging for money and threatening people with poverty if they don’t pay up. He’s very unlike the healing preachers Americans are used to.

Hemans is coming to America this year. He’ll be in the Eastern United States part of the time. I plan to go see him in action. I don’t worship men, and I don’t chase signs, but I need to see people doing things right, in person. Cessationists, who think God inexplicably turned selfish in about 200 A.D., criticize anyone who likes to see miracles, but how can you have Christianity without them? God is love, among other things. He loves healing his children. Miracles aren’t the foundation of Christianity, but Christianity without miracles is anomalous and crippled. It’s sick. God promised us signs and wonders would follow us. He promised we would heal the sick and cast out demons. If we’re not doing those things, something is amiss.

Cessationists amaze me. Miracles clearly take place today, and there is proof. How, then, can cessationism be correct?

I know some cessationists say all miracles and other manifestations of the Holy Spirit come from demons. That’s amazing. What lower form of blasphemy is there than calling God a demon?

God says people who call evil good and good evil will have serious problems, and he says he will not forgive those who speak against the Holy Spirit. Look it up for yourself. Even if you thought all miracles performed in the name of Jesus might be demonic, why would you say so if you weren’t sure? Like Gamaliel said to the Jewish leaders of his time, you might be fighting God himself.

A long time ago, God showed me that one of the curses on man is that we have to work very, very hard to get things he wants to give us simply for being his children. We struggle and suffer for millennia, trying to solve problems he can, and will, solve instantly.

What is technology? Like hard work, it’s a substitute for God’s help.

Consider cancer. We still can’t cure it. We have been building our medical knowledge ever since we were created, and there are many forms of cancer we can’t cure. Even if your cancer is curable, you may have to go through terrible things in order to be rid of it. Doctors may simply amputate things until you’re cancer-free. They cut off limbs. They cut of breasts. They cut out eyes. They cut off penises. Doctors castrated Bobby Riggs, and he died anyway. Now think about God’s way. Either he prevents you from getting cancer in the first place, or he drives it away and cuts the root instantly. No surgery. No drugs that make you vomit and lose your hair. No disfigurement. No loss of function.

I have known more than one man who had to wear diapers because of prostate surgery, and some also became impotent. All became sterile. After thousands of years of medical progress, that was the best human effort could do for them. I know a lady whose leg was removed at the hip. I would hate to guess how many women I know who are missing ovaries or their uteruses because of cancer or other problems man can’t fix.

God created us to be heirs, and heirs don’t earn. They simply receive. When man fell, he cut himself off from his inheritance. When Jesus came and made people well, he wasn’t giving them special favors. He was simply showing them what every human being was originally supposed to have, all the time.

We can’t cure a cold, the flu, arthritis, allergies, migraines, high blood pressure, diabetes…all sorts of common diseases. We can treat viral diseases, but we can’t really cure them. This is where we are after thousands of years. It’s pathetic, really. But God heals every type of problem, and he does it free of charge. Why aren’t we pursuing his help?

I’m going to pay about $8000 this year for medical insurance, even though I probably won’t see a doctor or receive any treatment. I don’t smoke. I barely drink. I’m not obese. I don’t have diabetes. I don’t have circulatory problems. I don’t take prescriptions. I still pay a fortune, because the government says I have to. That’s what man’s curse has done to me, and I’m much better off than most Americans my age. It’s remarkable that we pretend God won’t help us, considering what we spend and endure as a result.

Mark Hemans is the real deal. I’ll stick my neck out and say it. How much proof do you need? If he’s the real deal, I can be, too, and so can you. And we’re supposed to be.

One of the powerful things Hemans teaches is that you need to confess your faith. Very often, before he heals someone, he says, “Do you believe Jesus will heal you?” If the person won’t say yes, he won’t pray for them. He makes people sit down until they get their faith working, and he has people help them. They can’t weasel around, either. They can’t say, “I think he might.” They have to say they believe he will.

These days, when I pray, I say, “I believe you will do this,” and it makes my faith roar through me. Very good thing to know.

Here’s another useful practice: pray for people throughout the day. You may be busy, and you may be frustrated because you feel you can’t do anything for God. You don’t have to feel useless. Just pray for people. If you’re in a grocery store, pray that everyone on the property, and their families, will be saved and filled with the Holy Spirit. If you’re driving to work, pray for all the people in all the cars you can see. Make a point of praying for people who offend and mistreat you. Pray for obnoxious people. You may think it’s a sorry excuse for a ministry, but that’s an insult to God. Your prayers do more for people than your human effort could ever do. It’s better to pray all day, all by yourself, than it is to go to Africa on a mission and build a latrine or dig a well with your own strength. Elijah shut off the rain for several years by praying alone. Try and top that with your mission trip.

God’s power is like electricity. It needs a path. It has to have a destination. When you pray for people–especially people no one else wants to pray for–you open a channel for God’s power. When all you do is sit and beg God to help you with your problems, you’re like a wire that isn’t connected to anything. The current doesn’t want to flow.

I’ve found that praying for other people–anyone I can think of–during the day increases God’s faith and peace in me. It makes sense. Why would he make his power and virtue flow through someone who only wants to help one person?

Right now I’m working on ripping Isaiah. I look forward to having this job done. I want to be able to hear the Bible when I’m driving and here at the house. Once I’m done, I should be more communicative.

Crooked Pastors Dog my Dreams

I have a lot of dreams that seem to have no significance at all, but last night I had one which seems to have come from God.

I was living in my childhood home. My mother was there. She had an unconscious animal she thought was a rabbit. She had drugged it for some reason. She gave it to me. I put it on a little table, face-down with its limbs hanging off. It lay there oblivious, like a fat kid sleeping off Thanksgiving dinner.

I felt that I was supposed to shoot it, because that’s what you do with wild rabbits in your yard.

As I looked at it, I wondered how a rabbit could be so big. It looked more like a fat, neutered dog. I thought my mother ought to know what a rabbit looked like, but it certainly seemed like she was wrong.

I realized the animal was really a young coyote. Now I knew what to do with it. I went to get a gun. I walked toward my bedroom.

The coyote woke up and started menacing me and standing in front of me. I found myself wearing one of those protective outfits attack dog trainers wear. I held my arm out in front of me. I wasn’t really afraid of such a small animal, but I didn’t want to be bitten. The coyote showed its teeth and barked at me. It had very long jaws. When it barked, it actually said, “WOLF!”

To get to my bedroom, I had to go down a hall full of tool stations and big, stationary tools. I had to twist and turn to get past them. In the bedroom, my gun safe was full of disassembled pistols. I found a slide here and a body there, but I couldn’t put a gun together. I picked up the assault rifle I keep by my bed and tried to shoot the coyote. The trigger didn’t click, and nothing came out of the barrel. The gun was coming apart in the middle. I tried to pull the forestock toward me to put it back together, but I didn’t get anywhere.

A bunch of coyotes ran into the house from across the street. Some came in the bedroom window. I realized they weren’t pure coyotes. They were part dog. Such animals are called “coy-dogs.” I was surprised to see how many there were. I had thought there were only a couple in the area.

They really didn’t like me. They were united against me because I was a threat to their predation.

A big one that was really just an old sheepdog came in through the window and stood on the sill. It was not aggressive. It seemed tired of the coyote life. It wanted help. It had a collar and tags. I tried to read the tags so I could call the owner. I also saw a pure German shepherd walk through the room.

I never managed to shoot any of the coy-dogs. It was frustrating. I knew my neighbors hated them, and here I was with a chance to get rid of a whole pack.

I don’t know everything about the dream, but God told me a few things.

My mother, as usual, represented the church. The coy-dogs were pastors. The word “pastor” literally means “shepherd,” so it makes sense that the coy-dogs were pure herding breeds and crosses. The pastors were wolves, in the Biblical sense. They were hypocrites who only cared about eating the sheep and taking their money. They were like Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, Steve Munsey, Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen, T.D. Jakes, John Gray, and the rest of the usual suspects.

The old sheepdog was a pastor who wanted to go back to serving God. He was very unhappy with what he had done with his life, and he wanted to change. He was haunted by the knowledge of the waste.

The coy-dogs were not real wolves. They were smaller, except for the shepherd and sheepdog. They were not scary. They might have seen themselves as big, frightening, powerful predators, but you could injure and drive one off pretty easily with a good kick to the teeth.

The one that was mistaken for a rabbit reminds me of Richie Wilkerson, Kanye West’s young hipster pastor. He was frisky and bursting with confidence that he was a big, bad wolf, but he couldn’t back it up with any real strength.

I believe God was showing me that there are crooked pastors out there who are not to have their ministries completely destroyed. God will not help his children destroy them. They’re part wolf, but they’re also part shepherd, and God will not annihilate their ministries. They will come around eventually. My mother represented churches that enable such people. They fawn on them and give them money, and that puts them to sleep.

There are corrupt preachers who are completely irredeemable, but some preachers can be saved.

The pastors ganged up on me because I threatened their income and reputations. This has actually happened to me in real life, so no surprise there. Business as usual. It means nothing to me, because like the animals in the dream, these guys bark but aren’t man enough to bite. Preachers have lied about me and conspired against me, but they never had the guts to confront me. When you want everyone to think you’re a sheep, you can’t go on the attack in public. You have to sneak around at night, behind closed doors, like a cockroach or a termite.

I’m not sure why my mother thought the first coy-dog was a rabbit and not a sheep or sheepdog. It may be because rabbits are unclean by kosher standards yet very edible. A rabbit could symbolize a gentile.

It’s an interesting dream. The only real revelation in it–the only thing I didn’t already know–was that so many hypocrite pastors could be saved. That’s very good news, but I am tired of these people and their lies and slanders, so it also means I have to more patient than I want to.

Back to the Mire

The further along I get in Christianity, the more I find wrong with this world.

Human beings have a nearly endless capacity for getting used to things. I suppose this is why there is no part of the world, no matter how unpleasant, which we have not settled. People who live in deserts and in the frozen north adjust pretty well, even though the places where they live are, objectively, disagreeable. People in prison have good days. Because we can get used to nearly anything, we see the world as a beautiful place full of opportunity when, in reality, it’s a cursed planet packed with disease, cruelty, and disaster.

Here on earth, babies are born with AIDS and cancer, in addition to birth defects so horrifying just seeing them can give an adult nightmares. Everyone born here ages and dies. A big percentage of the species on earth survive by killing other creatures and eating their bodies. If you look at the earth with clear eyes, you can’t help but conclude that it’s a terrible place. You may be feeling okay right now, but all over the world, countless rapes and murders are taking place. Millions of people are screaming in agony. Innumerable creatures are being torn apart, alive, by other creatures. The fact that you’re used to it doesn’t make the earth a nice place.

Sin, which is the fundamental cause of all suffering, is one of the things we’re used to. We’re blind and deaf to it. Things we think are normal and acceptable are actually extremely evil and harmful.

Most Americans think sex outside of marriage is harmless. That’s amazing. Think of all the unwanted children it produces. Think of the diseases it spreads. Go look at photos of syphilis and AIDS patients and tell yourself fornication is okay. How many people are in prison right now for murder and battery because fornication made them jealous? Since Roe v. Wade, Americans have murdered so many babies, the number tops the American casualty count from the Vietnam War, and the vast majority of the murdered babies were conceived through fornication.

Many Americans think recreational drugs are harmless for most people. Astonishing. Every time you buy drugs, you subsidize murder. I had a friend who tried to tell me his dope was acceptable because he only smoked homegrown. Of course, he was a terrible liar. I personally overheard him trying to get weed through a dealer. He was also an alcoholic, he had terrible debt, and he had alienated many of the people who knew him because he was so self-centered and abusive. I’m one of those people. I removed him from my life because he was obnoxious to me, and I never heard from him unless he wanted something.

Drugs invite demons, and demons cause physical problems, mental illness, and increased sin. Furthermore, like fornication, drug use is explicitly condemned in the Bible, so it’s not really necessary to argue about the ill effects. If God says it’s wrong, we should not be doing it.

Lust is now something we don’t even try to fight. We see it as healthy. We’re even proud of it. We encourage and celebrate it. We enrich slutty entertainers and treat them as though they were Ashtaroth and Athena.

We love anger and cruelty. Look at the kind of humor we pay to be subjected to. Look at the gruesome, sick movies and shows we watch.

When I turned back to God, I didn’t understand how polluted my life was. I listened to jazz and the blues, and I thought it was fine with God. I watched violent movies with no moral qualms. I thought it was fine to stare at women and fantasize about them as long as I didn’t try to get them into bed. I thought self-confidence, which is pride, was desirable. I didn’t know the Bible said God fought the proud.

A decade or so ago, I became aware of the concept of sanctification, and I started asking God for it. I knew Christians had demons and iniquities–evil habits–and that we needed to be purged. My pastors had no interest in sanctification. They were sinners, and they were afraid they would lose money if the sinners who made up their congregation were confronted with the need to repent. I was shown that I was unwelcome at the last two churches I attended, and the reason wasn’t that I was an unrepentant sinner or that I didn’t try to be helpful. They ostracized me because I stood up for sanctification and told other people they needed it.

Sanctification has been a very slow process for me, probably because I had pastors opposing me instead of teaching and helping me. My pastors loved their sins and demons. They wanted to stay filthy, and they didn’t like it when anyone else tried to get clean. Nearly all the help I’ve received has come from God himself, through private revelation and deliverance. That’s sad.

Sometimes, when I questioned what I was doing, other Christians encouraged me to continue. Can you believe we’re that ignorant?

Last year, I gave up watching action movies and shows. I should just say “movies,” because TV shows are just short movies. I had enjoyed mindless movies like John Wick and the Tarantino films. God told me watching these things was no different from watching pornography. In fact, these films were pornography. Most pornography is sexual. I was watching violence and revenge porn.

We get very worked up about porn and porn addiction, but the other things we watch are just as bad or worse!

God also showed me I had to give up superhero movies and a lot of science fiction. Superheroes are really false gods. The things they do in movies are physically impossible, and many superheroes have occult roots. Thor is an ancient false god; how much more obvious can it be? Science fiction movies are full of occult ideas, and almost none of them acknowledge God. Star Wars and Avatar essentially promote new religions. There are probably millions of people in this world–some grown–who think the force is real and try to cultivate it.

Earlier this month, I went to a Last Reformation event in North Carolina, and I asked someone to cast spirits of worry, fear, and unbelief out of me. I had been having inexplicable anxiety, especially between midnight and dawn. It annoyed me, because unlike many people who worry, I do not like to worry. I see worry as a sin. I am not proud of it, the way many people are. I consider it disgraceful. It’s an insult to God. It’s faith in Satan.

After my trip, I felt much better. I wasn’t completely calm all the time, but I felt good. I stopped waking up and having problems falling asleep again. It was great.

Last night, I did something dumb. I was getting ready for bed, and I got hooked on videos from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. I used to watch these shows. They’re about miserable, selfish people who descend into self-destruction as a result of their involvement in the methamphetamine business. These shows are full of violence, cruelty, and sick revenge. There are no godly characters. None of the characters care about other people. They never do anything kind.

After I watched the last video, I felt worry coming back to me. My heart throbbed. It was very unpleasant. I realized I had opened the door. I asked God if this was the case, and he confirmed it. I cast out the spirits behind the worry. I repented. I asked God to forgive me.

He allowed me to feel the worry for a while, to let the lesson soak in, and then it was gone. I understand that. Sometimes you need to suffer a little in order to learn. I was grateful for it.

Today I’m wondering what life is supposed to be like for modern Christians. How many things do I have to give up? I can’t have coffee or tea. I can’t watch most movies. I can’t listen to most music. There are many things I can’t let myself think about. There are many things I can’t let myself say. I can’t go into a bar. There are many places I shouldn’t even visit. What would my life be like if I were completely free of things God hates? I can’t imagine, because I’ve never lived that way. People who are born blind can’t imagine sight.

I’m not talking about rules or legalism. A legalist thinks God has given us a list of rules and that he grades us based on how many points we score. That’s wrong. In reality, God has simply shown us what is good and what is harmful. If you tell your 4-year-old son not to put his hand on the stove, you’re not a legalist. You’re just telling him to avoid something that causes serious problems.

Jews who are not Messianic think God has a scale and that he weighs our good deeds against our bad ones in order to decide who goes to heaven. Muslims believe the same thing. It’s wrong. Holiness isn’t a sport or a game show. It’s a way of being. We don’t get into heaven by doing good things. We get into heaven through the punishment of Jesus. He paid our bill. The point of being good isn’t to win admission to heaven; it’s to be like Jesus, increase God’s victory in our lives, help others to be saved, and avoid defeat and misery.

I don’t watch TV any more, except for Forged in Fire. I have no interest in movies. I watch Youtube for Christian material and videos which are relevant to my hobbies. Sometimes something counterproductive pops up on my feed, and I end up wandering off. That’s what happened last night.

I don’t want worry, disease, financial problems, loneliness, depression, subordination to obnoxious people, or any of the other ills that come from opening the wrong doors. I want to open the doors to heaven and close the doors of failure and oppression. Many of our problems persist because we give the enemy legal authority to afflict us. We wonder why we don’t get God’s promises, even while we’re inviting Satan to fulfill his. That’s amazing.

Sometimes when I sign into Youtube, before the system knows it’s me, the algorithm shows me a bunch of things other people are watching. It makes me want to throw up. Video games, the Kardashians, professional sports, vapid, unhappy celebrities, snotty late-night hosts, rappers with disgusting lives, martial arts events…it’s nauseating. How can people care about or even endure this garbage? It’s like looking at other people’s food in a grocery checkout line. When you see a mountain of Pop Tarts, chips, sugar cereals, light beer, Hot Pockets, sugar drinks for kids, and frozen entrees, you wonder how they can eat it and not die in a month.

We complain that God doesn’t do what the Bible says he will do, but we haven’t given him a chance. We swim neck-deep in the world, subjecting ourselves to its power. You have to wonder how good life can be for those who are willing to be set apart. It’s not like we can look around and see how they live. They are too few in number. I don’t know anyone like that.

Without God, life is utterly pointless. Everything we do that God doesn’t command will be destroyed in front of us. The things we do in obedience last forever. When you serve God, you walk in love, helping others in ways that are permanent. Compared to that, earthly accomplishments are like sandcastles made from infected manure. People love to think they’re creating legacies. We put our names on buildings. We try to accomplish as much as we can in our professions. We strive to become famous. It’s all filth. None of it will survive. Even the oldest ungodly public figures will be forgotten before long. The pharaohs will be forgotten, but a Burger King employee who serves God will do things that will be remembered in heaven forever.

I’m going to keep going forward. I know things will get better and better if I do. I don’t care what I have to give up. I’m going to be dead soon no matter what I do. A couple of decades of light self-denial won’t amount to diddly in the long run.

The Years I’ve Wasted!

Yesterday I had a discovery that left me with a mixture of joy and deep regret, as well as a sense that I had been cheated. I discovered that mustard greens are actually the best greens.

Here is the problem: I had never had properly prepared mustard greens. I had always had undercooked, bitter greens. I figured they always tasted that way. They were okay, but I saw no reason to go out of my way to cook them for myself. I thought my results would be no better.

This week I picked up what I thought was a package of collards. I was going to use them for salad. Collard greens make excellent salads. I mix them with grape tomatoes and feta cheese, among other things. They’re a little tough compared to lettuce, but that doesn’t scare me.

When I got the greens out to make salad, I was alarmed to see that I actually had mustard greens. I tried them, and I discovered they had a strong, sharp flavor. I guess the chemicals that make mustard pungent go all through the plant. There was no way to make a decent salad from them.

The next day, I decided to cook the greens, just to get them out of my life. I didn’t have any bacon grease; I had exhausted it while cooking for the holidays. I found a couple of old slices of country ham in the fridge, and I also had leftover scraps from the sugar-crusted ham I made for Christmas. I put this stuff in the pot with the greens and simmered them for over two hours. I also added powdered garlic (I was out of the real thing) and a little sugar.

I expected greens that were merely edible. I got something completely different. They were delicious. Best greens I’ve ever eaten. Better than kale, spinach, and collards. The sharp flavor was gone, and the taste of the wilted greens had mingled with the pork to create a whole new experience.

I got so excited, I made cornbread. I couldn’t help myself. I could not allow myself to eat greens this good without it.

I didn’t have buttermilk, but I had some whole-milk plain yogurt I needed to get rid of. I did something crazy. I used about a cup of yogurt, and I made up the rest of the liquid with whole milk. I also mixed about half a teaspoon of citric acid with the dry ingredients. Because I was out of bacon grease, I made a half-and-half mixture of lard and butter.

The cornbread was excellent. It would have been better with bacon grease, but it was still wonderful.

It seems to me that the reason I didn’t know how good mustard greens could be is that no one ever cooked them correctly for me in the past. Most people undercook their greens. There is a terrible prejudice in favor of undercooked vegetables these days. It works for some things, but greens need to be cooked to death. If you undercook them, they don’t develop any flavor. Greens should be cooked until they’re completely wilted but not dissolved.

I ordered myself a new country ham, as well as 6 country ham hocks. It will come out to around $5 per pound overall, which is not bad for a delicacy. The next time I want to make mustard greens, I’ll throw a hock in with them, and I may chop some sort of ham steak into them. Country ham can be overpowering in greens, so it’s okay to mix it with plain old grocery store ham.

Now that I think about it, this is a good development. I keep looking for vegetable-heavy, low-carb dishes for lunch and dinner. Mustard greens with ham will fill the bill. I should probably omit the cornbread, though. Greens are simple to cook, and they improve in the fridge, so you can eat them for several days after you prepare them.

I don’t have a lot of interest in cooking these days, but it seems like I still get pulled back into it by circumstances. I ate way too much over the holidays, because I was doing the cooking, and the food was tremendous. Now I want it all behind me ( instead of in front of me).

I had a wonderful dream last night. I keep asking God to invade my dreams. I don’t have bad dreams, but I have dreams that are sort of dismal. It seems like I almost never pray or think about God while I’m dreaming. It’s very strange, considering my waking mindset. Last night, I had dreams which seemed to reflect his presence in an indirect way.

I dreamed I was driving in the country, on a dirt road, in an area where there was at least one house. The area around the road had been cleared of trees. It was covered with deep grass and flowers. I couldn’t see any of this, because it was pitch black outside, and I didn’t have my headlights on.

As I drove, the grass and flowers in front of me, where my headlights should have shone, lit up as I approached. They filled up with shimmering gold, green, and red light. It was as though God was lighting up my path. I felt happy and peaceful as I watched. There was something very comforting about the nature of the light.

I had my window open, and my hand was outside. I felt something bite down on it. It was a firm bite, but not painful. Whatever was biting me had no teeth. It held on. For some reason, I had the idea that it was a big baby bird.

I drove out of the darkness into an area where the sun was bright, and I saw that a biracial baby girl was holding onto my hand with her gums.

I took her into the car and drove to the front steps of a school, which was also a courthouse and hospital. Friends of mine were situated around the steps. They were very happy to see me carrying the baby in. I was happy, too. I was very glad to be looking after her.

I don’t know what to make of the dream, but even after I woke up, I felt God’s love pouring through me like sunshine. I’m trying to hang onto that. Trying to love people with your own strength is better than nothing, but what you really want is to have God love through you.

Various people claiming to be witnesses say there are no shadows in heaven. They say everything is transparent, so the light that comes from God, and which contains his character, including love, pours through all. I believe we’re supposed to be like that. Yesterday I saw Mark Hemans preaching about how the word says we’re not supposed to have darkness in us. Every corner should be clean and illuminated.

I hope God gives me dreams in which he is less subtle. I don’t want to think like a Christian during the day and like an unbeliever while I sleep.

But I Do Believe I’ve Had Enough

I don’t blog my travels in real time, so I am writing this on January 4, in Hickory, North Carolina, and I will publish it when I get back to Florida.

Today I went to an open house held by The Last Reformation near Connelly Springs, North Carolina. This is their second open house. They are leasing a new headquarters in hopes of buying it. They kept quiet about the location for a long time, but now it’s no secret, so I will tell you about it. It’s a former resort in the hills. It used to be known as Pine Mountain Resort, and it’s located beside a golf course which belongs to a gated community called Pine Mountain Estates.

It’s not clear to me how much property they own. An Internet source says something about 50 acres. They have a big hotel and a three-story restaurant which is maybe 200 yards away. The hotel is like a circa-1960 Holiday Inn. It’s a long building made of concrete and corrugated steel with Spartan rooms opening onto verandas. There is an office/lounge/cafe area in the middle, and they have a pool out back.

The main building needs a roof very badly. It was raining for part of the day today, and water was pouring in through various areas. They had rigged sheets of plastic up to divert it away from the building. If they can get the roof together, my guess is that they will have a perfectly serviceable headquarters. I’m not sure they understand how important a roof is. It’s more important than walls or a floor. When your roof leaks, everything under it will eventually be destroyed.

I don’t understand how the roof ended up like this. I know roofs deteriorate, but this one is like a sieve.

The restaurant’s roof seems to be in much better shape. I did not see any obvious problems.

The land is very nice. It’s in a very hilly area. The woods have obviously been timbered in the not-too-distant past, so most of the trees are under a foot thick, but there is a variety of hardwoods, and there are tall white pines. There are also lots of mountain laurels.

I drove to a hotel in South Carolina yesterday, and today I finished the trip. When I started out this morning, I was not all that far from Savannah, which appears to be situated in a swamp. As I drove, the landscape developed a little altitude, and I started to see real trees. At some point, there was a transition that marked the beginning of real Appalachian scenery, and I felt like getting out and kissing the ground. Given that mindset, it was a real treat to see mountain laurels. I considered grabbing a leaf to take home with me.

I don’t know why Appalachia is suddenly so attractive to me. It has to be God. I felt a thrill of relief when I crossed the Florida line on the way north, and it disturbed me. I love Ocala. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for my home. It’s perfectly normal to be glad you’re north of Miami, but I’m surprised to see that I was happy to get away from northern Florida.

It was a real treat to drive on the twisty roads on the final approach to the resort. I learned to drive on roads like that in Kentucky, and that’s why I don’t drive like a tourist up here. My family had a cabin in North Carolina in the 1970’s, and there were a lot of Florida people up there. My mother used to make fun of them for riding their brakes and creeping around curves. They had no idea what they were doing. I’m grateful I know how to drive here. It would be really nice to have a manual transmission here. Automatics don’t really work well with hills.

When I got to the property, there were a lot of cars there. TRL has students, and they live on the property, so they accounted for some of the cars. There was also a bus belonging to a family of Mennonites. Yes, there are now Mennonites who speak in tongues. I have to wonder how that goes over with their relatives.

There were a lot of people there. Kids were everywhere. I introduced myself to some people, and a lady named Christina took us for a tour. She’s from Denmark, like Torben Sondergaard and a lot of the TRL early adaptors. She showed us the roof issues.

Torben and his family live in one end of the hotel building, which, I suppose, is now a dormitory. Other rooms contain students and visitors.

I spent quite a while talking to a lady from somewhere on the North Carolina coast. She’s a student at the school. We had a long conversation with a local Chinese lady who became a Christian in 2015. We tried to give her guidance. She belongs to an Assemblies of God church, but that denomination, while tolerant of the Holy Spirit, is not in great shape. It spawned a lot of the money preachers.

At around 4 p.m., Torben gave a talk. He brought up a young man who went through their Luke 10 school. They have more than one program. The Luke 10 people divide into groups and go out and evangelize, relying on God to provide them with things like food and shelter. The young man had a wild testimony about the things God did for his team. I’ll just link to a video in which he tells the same story. There is no point in rehashing it in print.

Torben said TLR was about to come to Florida for a long campaign. They’re looking for people to let them stay in their homes. I asked God if I should volunteer. I have a big house, multiple bedrooms, and a pool for baptism. I felt the answer was that I should not offer, but that I should agree if they asked. No one asked, so that’s how that went.

They put a portable hot tub on the deck at the restaurant, and a bunch of people got baptized. It was below 50 degrees outside. I was impressed with their determination. Everyone came out of the tub speaking in tongues.

They also prayed for people in the restaurant. I wanted prayer. I have been having pain in the joints at the bases of my thumbs, and I think whatever spirit gave my mother rheumatoid arthritis has been after me. I wanted help with that. I also wanted deliverance from spirits of fear, unbelief, and worry. Seems like they come for me every morning.

A young Dane named Matt prayed for me. As he prayed, the problems with my thumbs got so faint I could not be sure they were still there. Oddly, almost all of the joint soreness went away about two days ago for no clear reason, so it was not easy to find it today in order to give Matt feedback. Anyway, he was very helpful. I feel some soreness now, so I think more work has to be done.

I have asked God if there is some problem with my personality that gives joint problems a right to bother me, but I believe he has told me that it’s just an opportunistic spirit that has no right to be here. Not every illness or evil spirit comes to you because of something you’re doing wrong.

Out of the blue, Matt asked if I had lower back pain. I do not. At least not chronically. I have strained myself from time to time, causing temporary problems. I told him all this, and he had me sit with my back against a chair so he could check to see if my legs were the same length. Christian healers typically do this for people with back pain.

It turned out my left leg was slightly shorter, so he told it to grow out. My leg twitched a little, and before long, both heels were level. He told me to walk around, so I did. I couldn’t say I felt any different, though.

I’m not going to tell you I was healed, or even that there was anything wrong with me. Just that my leg did twitch, and it did seem to grow out. I can’t swear it wasn’t the power of suggestion.

While he was talking to me, I started to feel a little dizzy. He and a young lady told any spirit that was causing it to be gone. I think it was just the Holy Spirit, however. It was NOT the power of suggestion. It was real.

Here’s something odd: I started to feel a little pain in my lower back (also real). It was very slight. I don’t feel it now. I started to wonder what was going on. You don’t expect to receive prayer for healing and then find you have a problem you didn’t have before.

He said it might be taking me some time to get used to the change. Don’t ask me to explain. I’m just telling you what happened.

I did not see anyone else get a miraculous healing, but I didn’t go around looking to see what was happening, and I left before the testimonies started.

I heard a lady say she was “from this area.” I had been marveling at the lack of Southern accents among those present, so I asked if she was from North Carolina. She said she was from Louisville. I guess “this area” was intended broadly. She said she and her husband had sold everything they had and bought an Airstream trailer. They went to Denmark and studied at the original Jesus Center with Torben.

I guess he affects a lot of people that way. Actually, I hope it’s the Holy Spirit and not Torben.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m burdened with too many objects and too much real estate. Many people give up all their worldly ties so they can travel and serve God. I don’t think he wants this for me, though. I want to be rooted in one place. I feel that he keeps telling me to have a house and keep my tools.

Among charismatics, there may be a tendency to condemn people who won’t give everything up and travel around, but God probably doesn’t require this of everyone. We all have different desires. I would go nuts, living out of a Winnebago. I want to own some soil, and I don’t want to look over my hedge and see my neighbor standing around in a tank top with a beer in his hand.

It really seems like Christians admire people who spend their lives traveling, and that they look down on those who don’t. There are so many people near you who need evangelizing; can you really say you need to go to Africa or Mexico? Africa is full of African evangelists, by the way. A lot of people don’t know that.

After all the healing and baptisms, there was a long period where I didn’t seem to connect with anyone, so I took off and headed for Chick-fil-A and my hotel. I felt that whatever God wanted to happen to me at the Jesus Center had happened, and that there was no point in hanging around. I didn’t make new friends. The only thing I said to Torben was “hi,” when he welcomed me.

I am still not planning to join TLR. It’s a denomination now, whether they know it or not. When you have classes, a curriculum, a headquarters, and a name, you’re a denomination. I can’t have a board of directors or a handbook between me and God. I think what they’re doing right now is right for many people, but I can’t get too close. Don’t ask me why.

I don’t think they’re frauds. I don’t think TLR is a cult, although it may become one if they don’t watch it. I’m just sure God does not want me to join.

Many of the people who attended the open house were Europeans. I suppose they knew Torben in Denmark. It seemed like most of the others were not Southerners. That surprised me, because Southerners seem to own charismatic Christianity, and the Jesus Center is situated in North Carolina. They told me they hadn’t gotten too close to their neighbors yet.

They call this place “The Jesus Center” and “The Ark.” I don’t know if they’ve settled on an official name. For a long time, I’ve believed that God was moving people to rural areas to keep them safe, and TLR clearly has the same idea. I’m sure urban mobs will be traveling around killing Christians before long, and I think God wants the elect to be so far from lazy leftist handout-lovers, they won’t have the gumption to get in cars and come to us.

The Ark is certainly a good place to be in that scenario. It must be 15 miles from the nearest limited-access highway, and you have to take narrow, winding roads to get there. Once you’re there, you can’t use your phone to get home unless someone lets you use their wifi to get it started. Angry mobs from inner cities will have a very hard time reaching places like The Ark. They’ll exhaust themselves in the cities, suburbs, and relatively accessible rural areas. If you’re too lazy to work for a living or take care of your family, you’re not going to work hard to reach people so you can persecute them. Places like The Ark will not be attacked until the easy pickings are exhausted.

You can see this principle in action today. When there are riots, the perpetrators, who are invariably leftists, don’t even leave their own neighborhoods. They destroy the local stores they depend on for food and other necessities, and then they complain that big businesses won’t open locations in their areas.

I can see why God wants me in an area like the one where The Ark is located.

Here is what Psalm 91 says: “Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most high, thy habitation, there shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.” It says, “A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand, but it shall not come nigh thee; only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.” People who have been moved out of cities will have to sit by and watch while the people they left behind are slaughtered. It’s very consistent with similar things that happened in the Bible.

Torben is a huge Trump fan. There are ignorant American charismatics who think Trump is God’s enemy and that Obama was a messiah figure, but Torben, a Dane, is aware that leftists are going to come after us, and he says Trump is our friend. He says persecution will fall on us after Trump leaves office, or at least after conservatives lose their political power. It’s amazing that he can see this while so many black, Hispanic, and coastal charismatics can’t. It’s strange to see a European from a left-leaning country see things so clearly.

Supposedly, charismatics in Europe are much more supportive of Trump. This is what I was told today. How can that be? I guess it’s because the charismatic church in Europe is already an underground movement used to rejection. Underground churches are supposedly stronger. It takes determination and sincerity to be a charismatic in Europe. Here, any lazy, worldly person can join a charismatic money church, listen to someone like John Gray or Richie Wilkerson, and continue to serve the devil.

I have no idea how to find the property God wants me to have, but I suppose locating it was never my job anyway. I’ll go back home and wait to see what he wants me to do.

I’m very glad I came to the open house. I hope one day I’ll have more strong Christian friends, and that I won’t have to take long drives to be among them, but until then, trips like this will be very helpful. Right now, there is no one near me who is really on the same frequency.

MORE

I am home. It’s January 6. I spent the night in Georgia, and I made it to my house this afternoon.

It’s great to be in my own house. I was getting a little too comfortable in hotel rooms. Before Christmas, I ordered myself some genuine Hampton Inn pillows, which are wonderful. If I keep traveling, I may find myself buying tiny bottles of shampoo and hangers that are permanently fastened to the rod.

Because I believe God has been telling me I’m going to move to Tennessee, I wanted to drive through some areas of the state after finishing up with TLR in North Carolina. One place that has caught my attention is Johnson County, where Mountain City is located. The elevation is high, which means nice summers, and unlike the higher areas farther south, it hasn’t attracted throngs of unpleasant people from Florida.

I was surprised to see that Mountain City was less than 60 miles from my hotel in North Carolina.

Yesterday morning I drove to Mountain City, passing through Blowing Rock, North Carolina, on the way. At first, the land was merely pleasantly hilly, but then I saw Blowing Rock clinging to the top of a big mountain in front of me. I hadn’t been there since I was a kid. I had forgotten what a crazy place it is. You have to wind your way up a very steep highway, right up the side of the mountain, to get there.

When I left the hotel, it was 40 degrees. On the way to Blowing Rock, I saw a truck with snow on its hood and roof. When I got into town, it was 29 degrees, and before long, I saw the external temperature bottom out at 28.

One of the negatives of the Mountain City area is that in order to get the cool summers, you get cold nights a lot of the year, and the winters are several degrees cooler than they are at lower altitude. I didn’t know how big the difference was until this trip.

The impression I got was that once you get up to Blowing Rock, you find yourself on a sort of plateau, and it continues into Tennessee. The Mountain City area seemed relatively flat, and it’s 1100 feet lower than Blowing Rock, which is on the very top of a mountain.

There isn’t much in the town. Just a few stores, a couple of gas stations, a courthouse, and so on. I went into the grocery store and bought apples, just to find out what I would be dealing with if I moved there. I wouldn’t starve, but I wouldn’t be able to count on croissants and baguettes.

I had to stop at a gas station to put air in my tires. In the cold air, they shrank, and the drop in pressure set off my car’s sensors.

I drove from Mountain City to Asheville, through some towns that were considerably smaller than Mountain City. The distance was about 95 miles. I saw a lot of houses. I wondered what the people did for a living. I wondered where they got their food. Surely they didn’t drive to Mountain City every week. Maybe they do, though. My grandmother used to drive to Lexington, Kentucky, for groceries, and she lived over 60 miles away. There was an IGA grocery store in her town, but it wasn’t always enough.

I’m not sure what to make of what I saw. The places I drove through didn’t look as promising as the other side of the mountains, in areas like Blount County. I don’t want to be in a city, but I don’t know if I want to be 90 minutes from the nearest town with over 10,000 people. Ocala has a population of around 60,000, and it’s big enough so you can buy an appliance or get your garage door fixed without major problems. I don’t want to be so far out I have to do everything for myself.

If I lived on the other side, I could always go into Knoxville if I needed to, without mounting a major expedition.

On the way out, I drove past Asheville, not Knoxville, which was a mistake. It put me too far east. I was trying to avoid driving through southeastern Georgia on the way home. Going north, I had gone through the area between Ocala and Jacksonville, which is pretty bad, and then in Georgia, I had driven through an endless expanse of swamp. Savannah, for all the romance people attach to it, appears to be in a swamp. It’s oppressive and creepy.

After I got through Asheville, my GPS still wanted to send me through the muck, so I went out of my way to go farther west. I must have added two or three hours to my trip by the time I was done, but I didn’t care. Driving through Brunswick, Georgia, once is enough for anyone.

After about 11 hours on the road, I gave up and got a hotel room. Took off again this morning, after more Chick-fil-A. I eat there out of principle, in spite of the fact that they quit supporting the Salvation Army. Leftists still haven’t forgiven them, so I haven’t stopped supporting them. Also, the food is great, and the way they treat customers gives me a real boost.

I did not feel good about re-entering Florida. That made me a little sad. I asked God if he was making me feel that way so I would be willing to move to Tennessee, and I felt that the answer was “yes,” so I asked him if he could motivate me with the positives of Tennessee instead of making me feel bad about Ocala, which is a beloved refuge. I think he agreed.

If you’re wondering why I’m so focused on moving, I will tell you one reason. Torben says God told him to move to America a long time ago. He didn’t listen. Then Danish TV made a dishonest documentary about him, people started confusing him with a preacher who was abusing people sexually, and the Danish legislature passed a law because of him, making it illegal to cast out demons in front of kids and disabled people. There was talk about taking away his children because of his doctrine. He and his family had to move in the middle of the night, with 8 suitcases. I want to go when God says “go,” at a leisurely pace, with all of my great stuff.

I feel God has told me to quit asking him exactly where to go. As I understand it, I’m to wait until I hear from him. It’s a little difficult to sit back and do nothing, after spending so many hours looking at houses on the web, but on the other hand, do I really want to do the work myself? No. Not if he’s willing to take it off my back.

I feel that God showed me something this week: it’s wrong to feel sure of yourself. If you feel you can handle any challenge, you will jump in front of God, take things out of his hands, and mess everything up. That’s hard to swallow, but it must be true, because the word says we are not to lean unto our own understanding.

It’s hard to get used to taking my hands off things and refusing to plan, but where did planning ever get me in the past?

You know nearly as much about my future as I do right now. I know it will be better than the past, and I know that I don’t have to have a plan in order to make it happen, so I am content.

Three-Dog Nights

I’m back. I was busy with Christmas.

I have an aunt. I will call her Polly. She has a lot of problems, and she has been rejected by the family. She has been divorced for many years. Her daughter, whom I will call Mabel, has also suffered a lot of rejection, as has the daughter’s son, whom I will call Larry.

When I took my dad’s ashes to Kentucky earlier this year, I spent a fair amount of time with Polly and Mabel. All three of us felt we were no longer integral parts of the overall family circle. A few years back, my other living aunt called during the fall and told me how she, four of my cousins, and their families had gotten together for Thanksgiving, and she apparently didn’t think about the fact that she was talking to someone who hadn’t been invited. My dad and I didn’t make the list, which seemed odd. Since then, I have had the impression that we no longer had insider status.

While I was in Kentucky, I told Polly and Mabel they were welcome to visit me over Christmas, and I said they could bring Larry, too. I figured I would probably be entertaining friends as well. In the end, some of my friends could not make it due to work conflicts and another could not be here due to difficulties with an interesting parent, so I only expected Polly, Mabel, and Larry. They had committed to come 9 months ago, so I thought they were serious.

Not long ago, I talked to Mabel, and she said Polly had suddenly changed her mind about coming. She has arthritis, and she didn’t want to travel. At this point, it was starting to look like attendance was going to be limited to me, my parrots, and the squirrels.

People change plans. This is normal. It’s a little out of the ordinary to announce you’re calling off a holiday trip right before it’s supposed to happen.

I wanted them to come. In Kentucky, Mabel and I had talked a lot about God, and she had accepted Jesus. I prayed for her in her mom’s driveway. I told her about the benefits of baptism, and she said she wanted to do it. I suggested she go to a Last Reformation event, but she insisted she wanted me to do it. I thought this was a bad idea, because you should be baptized as soon as you receive salvation, but it was what she wanted. I let her know about some events she could attend, but she didn’t go. I ended up pinning my hopes on the Christmas visit, and it looked like it was not going to happen.

I prayed and encouraged them to come, and they decided to do it. I didn’t understand what I was asking them to do. The only decent car they had belonged to Larry, and it was a mini-SUV. They had two golden retrievers and an Australian cattle dog, and they weren’t happy with the boarding options that were available at the last minute. They had to jam three adults and three dogs into a pretty small car.

They didn’t want to put three large dogs in my house, but I told them to bring them. I was not going to give up that easily. Baptism is important.

When it came time to leave, Polly said she had a bunch of errands to run, and they were determined to make the 11-hour drive in one shot, so they ended up arriving at 4 a.m.

Polly and Mabel both smoke, and the dogs are big, so it was an interesting time. No one smoked in the house, but when you smoke intensely, you can change the atmosphere in a house just by being in it along with your belongings. The dogs behaved, but you can’t have three big dogs in a house without issues.

I didn’t care. I wanted to get the baptism done. How often do people with dysfunctional families get to fight back with real weapons?

Polly has some firm views on religion, and she tends to take a dim view of new things. I had told her about TLR in March, and since then, she had done some Googling. TLR and its leader, Torben Sondergaard, are getting very intense persecution from a wide variety of nutcases here and overseas, so there is plenty of unflattering slander out there for anyone to read. My aunt got the impression that I had joined a cult, and she thought Torben was a wanted criminal in Denmark. Maybe he is, if full-gospel Christianity is a crime. The authorities passed a ridiculous new law because he and his friends were casting demons out of people.

I don’t belong to TLR, and Polly and Mabel had been told this. I think TLR does a lot of good work, but I don’t join denominations or churches, and I think there is a strong chance that TLR will become corrupted and overly regimented soon, as virtually all other denominations have. Polly already had her bad impression, however.

I have Googled TLR a lot this year, trying to find out if they have ever done anything wrong, and all I have seen is prevarication and innuendo. The people who attack them are just like the people who attack Trump. I’ll post a video I found, to give you an idea what I’m talking about. It’s basically hysteria.

That’s a video in which some person uses a video of a completely different ministry to “debunk” TLR.

Here’s an even weirder one. You will see TLR’s own footage, which they post for the purpose of ATTRACTING people, used for the purpose of “exposing” Torben. It’s truly bizarre. Torben and TLR want people to see this footage, so clearly it’s nothing that makes them look bad. It’s Torben and others, helping kids receive deliverance. The kids are happy as they can be when it’s done. No one is forcing them to do anything. They’re glad to participate.

When I was at the TLR event in Raleigh, I was part of a group of people who cast a spirit out of a woman who foamed at the mouth and screamed. Two little girls came over and got involved. I don’t think the oldest one was older than 7. They were working right along with us. They weren’t disturbed at all. Afterward, they accompanied my group on an outing in which we healed people. They continued to pray for people, and they performed some healings. It was their own idea, and they had a great time. The idea that you should hide Christianity from children is a little hard to understand, especially when you consider the fact that we routinely expose them to toxic things like occult videos, Halloween activities, violent entertainment, video games, and the Internet.

The people who post these things appear to be unbalanced fanatics. They evoke visions of torches and pitchforks. There are a lot of truly ill and dangerous people among the ranks of the charismatic-haters.

It’s unusual to see enraged charismatics, but the people who are against charismatics are often extremely angry, to the point of being out of control. There is a reason for that.

The TLR saga is a very interesting thing to watch. The irrationality of the critics is an indicator of a supernatural cause, and this is characteristic of persecution, the flames of which are lit and fanned by spirits.

I fixed prime rib, scalloped potatoes, cheesecake, and Texas trash for Christmas, and we did as well as we could. Things were complicated by the dynamic between Polly and Larry. They had always gotten along in the past, but for some reason, Polly was laying into him over various things, and Larry kept reacting by going to his room and staying there with a video game device. He would come out the next day early in the afternoon, which made group activities difficult.

My understanding is that he spent a lot of time contacting friends, trying to get someone to buy him a ticket home.

My take is that Polly was 70% responsible, with the remainder of the fault belonging to Larry. Polly refused to give an inch, and Larry didn’t do a lot better. It’s a shame, because she won’t be around forever, and they should be trying to create better memories. Larry has a great deal of potential, but he needs to take on the responsibilities and attitude of a man.

I talked to both of them, but I didn’t make significant headway. It’s a shame, because until recently, they had a very warm relationship. Larry has a heart deformity, and he had lots of problems as a kid, and Polly was always there for him, fighting to get him what he needed.

Pettiness is extremely destructive, as I have learned from practicing it. It seems like modern Americans don’t understand how forgiveness works or why it’s necessary. They also don’t understand the principle of the extra mile. It’s okay to let yourself be wronged a little.

Anyway, you know it’s a real family Christmas when people keep making things awkward with what appears to be very little justification. It could have been worse. All over America, cops responded to domestic violence reports on Christmas. Ho, ho, ho.

Our challenges were compounded by my refrigerator’s sudden decision to fail, with many pounds of holiday food in it. Luckily, my spare refrigerator was already turned on. Mabel got down on the floor with a tiny shop vac and cleaned the fridge’s coils, and then I got on the web and figured out what was wrong: the bearing in the circulation fan motor was going, so the fan flopped around and got stuck. With Mabel’s help, I removed the fan and motor, and I used my belt grinder to make the fan’s blades smaller so they didn’t catch on things. The fridge resumed working, and I ordered a new fan and motor which should arrive on Monday.

Speaking of pettiness: really, Satan? You went after my refrigerator?

Last night, Mabel started talking to Polly about baptism for some reason, and they got into a very long conversation about doctrine. Polly made some veiled jabs at my beliefs, and I didn’t respond. I just waited. And waited. I would say she went to bed at around 12:00, which is two hours later than I like to go to bed. I stayed up, avoiding participation in the conversation, because I was determined to get Mabel baptized if at all possible.

When Polly went to bed, Mabel started talking about her reservations and problems, and I told her what I knew. Eventually, she decided her baptism didn’t have any relationship to her mother’s progress as a Christian, so she changed clothes and got in the pool, which was freezing. I had suggested the jacuzzi tub, but she wanted the pool. It probably took her 15 minutes to get into the water because it was so cold.

In the end, we got it done, and Larry was there to witness it. Finally. I guess I got to bed at 2 a.m.

I didn’t care about anything but the baptism. It was done, so I was happy.

They wanted to start driving home today. Polly has a green thumb, and she was not happy with my plants, so when I strolled out at maybe 10:30, after compensation sleep plus prayer and a shower, I found Polly and Mabel fixing up the plants on my patio, which was very nice of them. They also insisted on cleaning their linens and straightening up the house. Larry came downstairs at around 1:15.

I didn’t know what to think. If I had a long drive to make, I would want to leave in the morning, but they do things differently. They had things in the washing machine, so I knew they weren’t leaving for a while. I offered to take them out for barbecue, which I did. I would guess they got off my property at 4:45 p.m.

Until I saw them pack the car, I didn’t realize what they had gone through to get here. There were things stuffed in the footwells. It was very tight. If they have an accident, the EMT’s will need the jaws of life to get them out, even if the car isn’t damaged. With those big dogs in the car, they don’t need airbags.

Whatever. Mabel got baptized. That’s the important thing. Now maybe she can mature and work with Polly, who is extremely unhappy.

Long before all the difficulties arose, I told Mabel to expect Satan to throw everything he had at her to prevent her from coming, and boy, did he come through. But he lost. I prayed, and she prayed, and God listened.

They Complete Me

Today I machined something. It was nothing great. Let’s be honest; I faced the end of a piece of aluminum and put two steps on the end. Whoo hoo. But I felt great anyway. I haven’t done this in over two years.

I’ll post a photo of my amazing achievment.

My mill and lathe arrived here on Tuesday. I’ve been so busy with a house closing and getting my workshop together, I have had very little time to do anything resembling using tools. I still have maybe 300 pounds of junk in my truck.

Yesterday I got the machines sort of ready to work. The lathe needed to have its connections to the phase converter restored, and I had to mount the DRO. That was about all I got done. The mill has a rotating head, like all Bridgeport-style mills, and in order to make moving the machine easier, I had rotated the head down onto the table, so I had to crank it back up.

I located my milling vise and 3-jaw lathe chuck so I could install them. They have been here less than two weeks. Of course, they had already started to rust. I don’t know what it is about this area. Everything rusts like crazy.

I cleaned them off and oiled the daylights out of them, and I did the same things to both machines. I would rather have oil everywhere than rust anywhere.

By the time I got done with all this, it was too late to do anything more.

Today I went back out, and I mounted the chuck on the lathe. I also mounted the wooden shelf unit I made to go on the headstock. This thing is very handy. It holds a chuck plus a load of toolholders and other doodads.

I also had to put the jaws back on the chuck. When I left Miami, the chuck had soft jaws on it, so today I reinstalled the hard factory jaws.

When the lathe was more or less together, the first thing I did was to turn it on, just to hear it spin. Wonderful.

I grabbed a piece of aluminum and turned steps into it with a carbide insert. It’s a little rough. I think the insert needs to be rotated.

The only thing I have to do now, lathe-wise, is to install the cast pucks it sits on and then level (straighten) the lathe. I have a Chinese precision level for this purpose. I don’t know how well it works, but I am reasonably confident.

The mill is going to be more annoying. I have to tram the head to the table, which is tedious. Then I have to mount the vise and tram it to the head. Equally tedious. I may put my rotary table on the mill table next to the vise. This is a smart idea if you mainly cut small parts. Moving a rotary table on and off your mill is a pain, so it’s nice to leave it in place. If you need to mill something big in the vise, you can just move the rotary table.

Once all the tramming is done, I have to connect the mill to power. I have two options. I can run a new wire to the phase converter, or I can reinstall the VFD I used in the past. The problem with the VFD is that it has no place to live. I used to keep it on the wall by the mill, but now the mill is far from the wall, so the wall won’t work. I could make some kind of stand, I guess. That would be strange.

If I wire it to the phase converter, life will be somewhat simpler, but I’ll have to run the huge phase converter every time I use the mill.

It’s probably the best way to go.

When I’m done, I’ll have a spare VFD. I already have a beautiful 2-HP motor gathering dust. You can guess what I’m thinking. I know you can. New belt grinder! Sure, I already have a belt grinder, but if I had two, I could keep two belts mounted at once, saving me precious, precious seconds when I want to change grit.

I would like to make myself a belt grinder simply because I feel bad about buying a prefab grinder the first time around. I fell prey to doubt. People talk about grinders as though they’re hard to build, but the truth is that they’re very crude, very simple machines. As I have often said, you could build a fine one from two-by-fours and plywood, plus aluminum pulleys.

My grinder is very nice, and it was cheap. I bought an Oregon Blade Maker (now Original Blade Maker), which is basically a steel box with two pulleys and an arm. It works just as well, and will last just as long, as an expensive industrial grinder. But you can’t turn it sideways to orient the belt horizontally. This is a bummer. Sometimes turning a grinder 90° can make life much simpler.

People like grinders with welded bodies. The truth is that you don’t need a welded body at all. A grinder held together with fasteners is just as good, and you can break it down when you need to move it or modify it. I would like to weld a grinder body together, but I’m not sure it’s the smart move. It may be more elegant, but a bolt-together grinder gives you more options.

I would like to do more stuff tomorrow, but it appears that my aunt, my cousin, and the cousin’s son are going to be here over Christmas, so I have to get the house ready. The garage is a total disaster right now because I’ve been pulling things off the truck and throwing them on the floor so I can get to other things I need. Luckily, my relatives aren’t picky.

I’m hoping to help them get closer to God. They are rejected, oppressed people.

Maybe I can squeeze out time to get the mill running. That would be beautiful.

Anyone who can Make Miami Bearable MUST be God

I have made two trips to Miami in connection with the sale of a property. I wrote about my first trip. God told me I had to forgive the whole city, so I did, and I found I didn’t hate being there the way I used to. I still want nothing to do with the place, because it’s a sick area under demonic control, but I can visit without feeling miserable.

On my second trip, God gave me something else. While I was driving, I felt the presence of Jesus. I talked with him all the way down the Turnpike.

The presence of Jesus is not quite like the presence of the Holy Spirit, which is not comfortable information for people who say God is a single being. The Bible makes it clear that Jesus talks to Yahweh, and it makes it clear that the Holy Spirit is not Jesus, because he descended on Jesus when Jesus was baptized. The Holy Spirit descended, and Yahweh spoke, saying, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased,” foreshadowing the way he would see every person who was properly baptized in the future.

One of the psalms says, “The Lord said to my Lord, ‘Seat yourself at my right hand.'” Obviously, if God is one being, he can’t sit beside himself, and he has no reason to talk to himself. The oneness of God refers to a oneness of heart and purpose, not to a state in which one being, in one location, displays three different personalities at different times.

Anyway, the Holy Spirit is generally very subtle, whereas Jesus is more obvious. Also, the sensations of love and peace that come from Jesus are stronger.

I was rolling along, and I felt the presence of Jesus within and beside me. The sensation was not as overwhelming as it was when he visited me years ago, but I knew it was him.

I prayed for people all the way to Miami. I prayed a lot for other drivers. Driving brings out the worst in people. It seems like it never occurs to us to let ourselves be inconvenienced for a few seconds in order to help someone else. We’re always pushing to make sure we get everything we’re entitled to. I made a special point of praying for people who were rude in traffic.

I asked if I could pray for entire lines of cars, and I felt I had the go-ahead, so I did that.

Christians are supposed to give alms and be generous. You can’t always give people money or things, but you always have the power to pray for them, which is more powerful and more important. Praying for people is a sacrifice, just like giving them money and goods. It takes effort and time. It’s not nothing. When Peter healed the beggar at the temple, he said, “”Silver and gold have I none, but what I have, that I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, get up and walk.” I’m sure the beggar would not have traded that for spare change and used clothing.

You shouldn’t feel like praying for people is a cop-out or a dodge. It’s the best thing you can do for them, most of the time.

I am now trying to pray for people whenever I have a spare moment. I can’t run around handing people five-dollar bills all day, but I can do this.

Ordinarily, I get fatigued when I drive, because the rudeness wears me down. People tailgate constantly, even when I’m speeding. Tailgaters will drive behind you for miles, slowing themselves down, instead of passing you and moving on. It shows their real motivation is malice, not a desire to move faster. I hate having to make decisions all day. You can’t just sit in the right lane and let the people who drive way below the speed limit. You have to spend a certain amount of time in the fast lane, and that draws tailgaters. For that matter, they also tailgate in the slow lane.

I want the presence of Jesus. I really want it. I have wanted it for ages. While I was driving to Miami, I kept ridding myself of negativity so I could hold onto him. I felt much better about the experience. I was able to avoid being provoked, which was a relief. During my time in Miami, I continued. If you can keep calm in Miami, it has to be a miracle.

I also felt as though something else in me was very upset. Some spirit or other. I don’t feed them the way I used to, so they were having a bad time. Here I was, starving them while welcoming their worst enemy; the terror of their existence. Several times, I felt things leave me.

It’s a shame we don’t admit we have demons. We think they’re for special people. Trust me; you have demons. If you think you don’t, you should start the process of deliverance by fighting dishonesty and pride.

While I was driving, I thought of all the bad things I had done, and I wondered exactly how many spirits I had accumulated. I’ve done bad things all my life, including this fall. It’s not like I became perfect when I chose to be a Christian, many years ago.

Deliverance is a very big deal. We should be seeking it as hard as possible. Instead we make fun of it.

The other day I heard Mark Hemans talk about the connection between sickness and sin. He said sin invites demons and causes sickness. I’ve been saying this for years. Christians hate the message. They hate it because demons tell them what to think, and demons want to protect their business.

When you ask a sick person if he wants to confess, and repent of, anything that might have caused his illness, Christians will be all over you like a pack of piranhas. They will insult, slander, and torment you without mercy, as though you’re the one who caused the cancer or whatever it is. They’ll say you’re blaming the victim. Let me tell you something: there are no adult victims. You have sinned, and you deserve whatever you get. That’s just how it is. When you go to God for healing, you’re not asking for justice. You’re asking for mercy. The disease is the justice.

Christians will say you’re condemning people if you suggest they confront their sins and demons. They don’t know what condemnation is. It’s a final decision. Identifying sin and demons is diagnosis; it’s a necessary part of recovery.

Imagine this. You go to your doctor and ask why you’re 300 pounds overweight. He says, “You eat too much. We need to change your diet.” Then you say, “HOW DARE YOU CONDEMN ME?” That’s how we treat people who help us acknowledge our self-destructive sins.

We know sin causes disease. Even atheist doctors admit it. Fornication causes VD. Smoking causes cancer, heart attacks, strokes, and COPD. Drug abuse causes hepatitis and AIDS. Gluttony causes obesity and circulatory problems. Anger causes high blood pressure and ulcers. Atheists can see these things, but we see ourselves as helpless, innocent lambs who have been attacked without cause, and we expect to be healed and kept well without repenting.

The Bible says envy rots the bones. That’s very literal. It says a cruel person troubles his own flesh.

It’s too bad we’re all perfect. If we had things to confess, maybe we could get rid of some diseases.

I don’t want evil guests living in my house, making my personality like theirs and damaging my flesh. I invited them and made them comfortable, but now I want them out. The desire to hold onto the presence of Jesus is great motivation. It’s an excellent reminder. When you think about what you’re getting, you care a lot less for what you’re losing.

We do care for our bad traits. We love them. We take pride in things like stubbornness, anger, childishness, cruelty, excessive sexual appetites, and so on. We think they’re cute. They may seem cute now, but when you’re standing before God, you will wish you had felt differently about them.

A lady who says she toured hell with Jesus says the dead were like skeletons with enormous maggots tunneling through them. She said they felt the maggots chewing their bones. That’s a picture of the things we allow to live in us.

The houses I sold had to be cleared of junk in stages. I feel that I’m the same way. God doesn’t necessarily empty a person of all baggage and filth immediately. I suppose we lack the knowledge and spiritual gifts to get the job done that way. He removes things incrementally, and he adds things the same way. Maybe when we have more knowledge, the process will go more quickly. Satan fights sound doctrine, calling it self-righteousness and hate, so he prevents us from using the right tools.

I’m going to try to hold onto what I have. I like feeling this way. It’s much better than the way I felt before. I would prefer having my entire personality replaced to being what I was.