Christianity isn’t Always Tidy

People may wonder where I’ve been. I just haven’t felt like blogging. It’s not because I’ve been ill, although I have. I just haven’t had anything to say.

I developed pink eye three weeks ago, and it has moved all around my body, clearing up in one area while attacking another. For most of this week, I had a stuffy nose accompanied by other gross symptoms in that region. That tapered off, but I woke up with a cough. Now that’s gone. Let’s hope it doesn’t morph into leprosy.

Someone I do business with has the flu and has been ill for two weeks. Says the vaccine is only 9% effective this year and the flu is all over Miami. When I heard this, I got on the web and checked, and sure enough, the flu can start as conjunctivitis. Is that fair? I don’t think so. Anyhow, it may be that I have plain old viral conjunctivitis which is roaming around my body, or it may be that I really have the flu. Whatever it is, it’s not severe. It’s just annoying, and like any bad experience that overstays its welcome, it wore me down for a while.

Malaise is a recognized pink eye symptom. Great, huh? Tell me diseases don’t come from spirits. Try. When a minor illness has a strong effect on your mood, it ought to be a hint that the attack is not purely physical.

I remember going to a doctor many years ago for a flu-like problem. I said it was making me feel tense and depressed. I thought that had to be important. Surely there had to be at least one well-known upper respiratory infection that caused irrational anxiety and depresson. That’s what I thought. If I was right, the doctor knew nothing whatsoever about it. The psychological symptoms meant nothing at all to him. It’s remarkable how little doctors know about some things. They’ve been accumulating knowledge for thousands of years, and this guy didn’t know anything about what surely had to be very common symptoms.

I have learned not to pay a lot of attention to my moods when I’m ill. They are deceptive and fleeting. Listening to your moods when you’re sick is like getting a tattoo when you’re drunk. You will regret it later.

I would be happy to find out that this is the flu, because you’re not very likely to get the flu twice in one season. The flu is usually awful. If I have to have the flu at all, I want a kind that doesn’t have much success.

What if it’s pink eye, it goes away, and then I get the flu? Best to think happier thoughts.

As always, I have drawn closer to God during my illness. I’ve had all sorts of miraculous healings, so when I’m sick, I always try to get God’s help and find out what I’m doing wrong. In reality, I do a lot of things wrong, so the question is really which ones are causing the problem.

I’ve worn Youtube out, watching videos from Mark Hemans, the Australian healer and evangelist. When the barrel started to run dry, I decided to look at Bill Subritzky. Hemans refers people to his website for information. Subritzky is from New Zealand, and I supposed he’s around 75. His ministry is very similar to Hemans’, but it seems somewhat less powerful. He’s all about casting demons out and cleaning up lives.

Bill Subritzky led me to T.B. Joshua, the most popular healer on Youtube. He has more subscribers than any other. He’s as popular as some of the big ‘tubers who produce vital sophomoric publicity stunts and clickbait, even though all he does is heal the sick and cast out demons with God’s power.

I already knew about T.B. Joshua, but I did not take him seriously. He’s a Nigerian who works in Lagos, and he has a big flashy church with a strange name: the Synagogue Church of All Nations (“SCOAN”). SCOAN’s videos are very sensational. The preachers have long discussions with people who are supposedly infested with demons (not a good idea), and the people have lots of spectacular manifestations. They throw up amazing things. They roll on the floor. They give long testimonies.

When I used to watch this stuff, I thought it was probably a con job. God is ending the age of the big church, and Joshua was running one, so that didn’t make a good impression on me. I figured he was probably a money preacher. I thought the deliverances were staged. Some of the people in the videos didn’t sound sincere. I thought they might be plants.

Bill Subritzky seemed pretty sound to me, so when I saw him at SCOAN, telling people visiting T.B. Joshua was what moved his ministry into real power, I had to give Joshua another look.

I’ve noticed a couple of things. First, Joshua does not ask for money or teach the prosperity gospel. Africa is full of obvious pulpit pimps, and Africans have a long history of gullibility, so it’s surprising to see a popular charismatic preacher in Africa fail to push the money gospel. Second, people really do get healed in his church. There are some things you can’t fake. For example, a young lady whose skin was falling off appeared in a video. She was topless with blurred areas because she could not wear clothes on her upper body. There is no doubt that her skin was falling off. Her lips were bloody, too. Joshua delivered her, and in a video shot later, she looked completely normal, except that she had some lingering marks and irregularities. While he was delivering her, she got down on her knees and threw up long strings of mucus so thick it was like rubber, and there was blood in it. You can claim they found bloody, abnormally thick mucus somewhere and made her hold it in her mouth and throw it up on cue, but how can you explain the new skin? And why pick a woman who was obviously seriously afflicted? If you’re going to fake healings, you don’t pick people who have real diseases.

I’ll post the video here. It’s absolutely disgusting, so you have been warned.

I still don’t understand Joshua’s ministry. People call him “man of God” and exalt him, and he does not stop them. That’s not healthy. When he teaches, I have a hard time understanding what he’s saying. He’s very inarticulate, and he says a lot of things that don’t seem to mean anything. Sometimes people who are manifesting say they’re controlled by spirits with names that seem very improbable, such as the Queen of the Sea. One guy said he was a wizard, and he called himself a “Grand Lama of Science Beyond Material.” He said he could astrally project and that he used his powers to make certain people rich. Meanwhile, he lived in a tiny shack with a dirt yard. This man said he talked to Lucifer face to face. If so, why didn’t he get Lucifer to do a little better for him?

People from first-world countries travel to SCOAN all the time. SCOAN has a dormitory. They put you up, and you can stay a week. When you look at the wild videos and see the strange people who appear in them, it seems like they’re just a bunch of nuts playing church with a preacher who doesn’t really have much on the ball, but if that’s true, what’s with all the visitors from Europe and Asia? What’s with Bill Subritzky? He was an attorney in New Zealand. He’s not an ignorant laborer who used a ministry to draw attention to himself and make himself seem important.

I Googled Joshua. I can’t find any serious red flags. A woman accused him of rape, but she turned out to be a professional fraud, and she eventually went to SCOAN and recanted publicly. One of SCOAN’s buildings collapsed, and people suggested Joshua, as a SCOAN trustee, was guilty of criminal negligence. That’s pretty weak.

He issued a couple of prophecies that are problematic. The Muslim sect Boko Haram captured over 200 Nigerian girls from the Chibok tribe, and people claim Joshua predicted they would be returned immediately. As of now, many are still missing. The thing is, he didn’t actually say they would returned immediately. If he did, I can’t find it. He said God had said they must be released immediately. He also talked about the 2016 American presidential election and said he saw a woman winning. He didn’t say, “Hillary Clinton will win.” Just that he saw a woman winning. We all know what happened. Joshua says he actually saw her winning the popular vote.

Usually, it’s not that hard to spot pulpit pimps. You don’t have to dig for dirt. They pressure you to give them money. They cheat on their wives, often with men. Credible people show up to accuse them of fornicating with them and/or paying them hush money. They get in trouble for refusing to pay their bills. They turn out to have drug and alcohol problems. Joshua does not seem to have any serious marks against him. He is said to be somewhat wealthy, which he denies, but that’s not very meaningful without more information. Having wealth isn’t a sin.

Watching SCOAN videos actually made me want to visit Nigeria. I would love to see the church up close so I could evaluate it personally.

Africa is a very strange place. The African mind is not like the European mind. They think differently. Maybe things that happen in Africa have to be judged by different criteria.

Joshua says 2020 will be a year of humbling. I’m generally not too keen on prophecies that apply to the whole world, but sometimes they’re true. Coincidentally, or not, I have been getting revelation regarding humility during my illness.

For years, I’ve been asking God to help me with humility. I wouldn’t say I’m generally a proud person, but there are areas that concern me. One of the problems I’ve had is that I haven’t been able to make myself feel as though I were just like people I knew of who had obvious sins in their lives. For example, I felt as though I were not like drug users, even though I had used drugs in college. I told myself I used them “a few times,” and I thought that separated me from people who use drugs for years without reservations. Of course, that was a lie. If you’ve used drugs, you’re a drug user.

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been trying to find ways to describe myself to God that don’t come off like excuses, and I’ve been doing better. As an example of the way I phrase things now, I say, “I am a rescued liar.” I don’t say, “I was like the liars I know,” or, “I have told some lies.” I say, “I am a rescued drug user,” not, “I experimented with drugs a few times.”

I saw a funny story in a book about the White House. A Secret Service agent was investigating Clinton hires so they could get security clearance, and, of course, it turned out to be a hard job. He said one man told him he had experimented with marijuana. The agent, who was apparently tired of hearing this kind of thing, asked him about the results of his experiments. When you conduct experiments, you collect and analyze results. I thought the question was a clever way to deflate a very commonly used excuse.

I used marijuana several times in high school and college. I didn’t like it. I didn’t persist. Should I say I was experimenting? I didn’t create tables or graphs. I didn’t do a statistical analysis. I smoked or ate a drug, and then I giggled a lot. Not the kind of thing you write up for a journal.

When I was in college, I counted the times I used cocaine. It came out to about 20. Somewhere inside me, I felt that if I could count the number of times I used it, I wasn’t a cokehead. Guess what? I’m a rescued drug user.

The Bible forbids drug abuse, and so does the Holy Spirit. There is no mention of frequency. You don’t get 19 free tries.

I came up with a long list of new, honest titles for myself. It wasn’t very pleasant, but it’s important to confess correctly. God fights proud people, and he helps the humble. The Bible says these things expressly. Proud people hide behind excuses. I don’t want God to fight me.

My problem wasn’t so much that I wouldn’t admit what I had done. I confessed things like crazy. My problem was an inability to confess my identity. It’s not enough to say you stole something once. You have to say you’re a forgiven thief. Identity is important.

On a related note, I’ve been listening to Proverbs a lot. Very unpleasant. It’s as though someone sat down and wrote up a long list of very accurate insults directed at me, personally. The person reading the book in my audio Bible will say something awful about people like me, and I’ll cringe, and then I’ll think, “Surely the next thing he says won’t apply to me.” Then he’ll say something even more cutting.

I don’t enjoy it, but I listen to it anyway. Correction from God is like free gold. You don’t just tolerate it. You should grab it and hoard it.

If you want to be humble, Proverbs is for you, as are the gospels. If not, there’s always Joel Osteen.

God gave me a word the other day: “Your word is meant to be spoken.” That was news to me. I had always thought of the Bible as a book to be read, but in truth, hearing it is better. The Bible says, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” The main purpose of the written Bible is to preserve and distribute God’s word. Once you have it in your hand, you should recite it. It’s better than reading it. It will help you memorize it so you can repeat it later when your Bible is not around.

Listening to the Bible will build you up more strongly than reading it. Don’t ask me why.

I don’t know when I’ll be back. Hopefully I will be completely free of disease when I return.