The Years I’ve Wasted!

Yesterday I had a discovery that left me with a mixture of joy and deep regret, as well as a sense that I had been cheated. I discovered that mustard greens are actually the best greens.

Here is the problem: I had never had properly prepared mustard greens. I had always had undercooked, bitter greens. I figured they always tasted that way. They were okay, but I saw no reason to go out of my way to cook them for myself. I thought my results would be no better.

This week I picked up what I thought was a package of collards. I was going to use them for salad. Collard greens make excellent salads. I mix them with grape tomatoes and feta cheese, among other things. They’re a little tough compared to lettuce, but that doesn’t scare me.

When I got the greens out to make salad, I was alarmed to see that I actually had mustard greens. I tried them, and I discovered they had a strong, sharp flavor. I guess the chemicals that make mustard pungent go all through the plant. There was no way to make a decent salad from them.

The next day, I decided to cook the greens, just to get them out of my life. I didn’t have any bacon grease; I had exhausted it while cooking for the holidays. I found a couple of old slices of country ham in the fridge, and I also had leftover scraps from the sugar-crusted ham I made for Christmas. I put this stuff in the pot with the greens and simmered them for over two hours. I also added powdered garlic (I was out of the real thing) and a little sugar.

I expected greens that were merely edible. I got something completely different. They were delicious. Best greens I’ve ever eaten. Better than kale, spinach, and collards. The sharp flavor was gone, and the taste of the wilted greens had mingled with the pork to create a whole new experience.

I got so excited, I made cornbread. I couldn’t help myself. I could not allow myself to eat greens this good without it.

I didn’t have buttermilk, but I had some whole-milk plain yogurt I needed to get rid of. I did something crazy. I used about a cup of yogurt, and I made up the rest of the liquid with whole milk. I also mixed about half a teaspoon of citric acid with the dry ingredients. Because I was out of bacon grease, I made a half-and-half mixture of lard and butter.

The cornbread was excellent. It would have been better with bacon grease, but it was still wonderful.

It seems to me that the reason I didn’t know how good mustard greens could be is that no one ever cooked them correctly for me in the past. Most people undercook their greens. There is a terrible prejudice in favor of undercooked vegetables these days. It works for some things, but greens need to be cooked to death. If you undercook them, they don’t develop any flavor. Greens should be cooked until they’re completely wilted but not dissolved.

I ordered myself a new country ham, as well as 6 country ham hocks. It will come out to around $5 per pound overall, which is not bad for a delicacy. The next time I want to make mustard greens, I’ll throw a hock in with them, and I may chop some sort of ham steak into them. Country ham can be overpowering in greens, so it’s okay to mix it with plain old grocery store ham.

Now that I think about it, this is a good development. I keep looking for vegetable-heavy, low-carb dishes for lunch and dinner. Mustard greens with ham will fill the bill. I should probably omit the cornbread, though. Greens are simple to cook, and they improve in the fridge, so you can eat them for several days after you prepare them.

I don’t have a lot of interest in cooking these days, but it seems like I still get pulled back into it by circumstances. I ate way too much over the holidays, because I was doing the cooking, and the food was tremendous. Now I want it all behind me ( instead of in front of me).

I had a wonderful dream last night. I keep asking God to invade my dreams. I don’t have bad dreams, but I have dreams that are sort of dismal. It seems like I almost never pray or think about God while I’m dreaming. It’s very strange, considering my waking mindset. Last night, I had dreams which seemed to reflect his presence in an indirect way.

I dreamed I was driving in the country, on a dirt road, in an area where there was at least one house. The area around the road had been cleared of trees. It was covered with deep grass and flowers. I couldn’t see any of this, because it was pitch black outside, and I didn’t have my headlights on.

As I drove, the grass and flowers in front of me, where my headlights should have shone, lit up as I approached. They filled up with shimmering gold, green, and red light. It was as though God was lighting up my path. I felt happy and peaceful as I watched. There was something very comforting about the nature of the light.

I had my window open, and my hand was outside. I felt something bite down on it. It was a firm bite, but not painful. Whatever was biting me had no teeth. It held on. For some reason, I had the idea that it was a big baby bird.

I drove out of the darkness into an area where the sun was bright, and I saw that a biracial baby girl was holding onto my hand with her gums.

I took her into the car and drove to the front steps of a school, which was also a courthouse and hospital. Friends of mine were situated around the steps. They were very happy to see me carrying the baby in. I was happy, too. I was very glad to be looking after her.

I don’t know what to make of the dream, but even after I woke up, I felt God’s love pouring through me like sunshine. I’m trying to hang onto that. Trying to love people with your own strength is better than nothing, but what you really want is to have God love through you.

Various people claiming to be witnesses say there are no shadows in heaven. They say everything is transparent, so the light that comes from God, and which contains his character, including love, pours through all. I believe we’re supposed to be like that. Yesterday I saw Mark Hemans preaching about how the word says we’re not supposed to have darkness in us. Every corner should be clean and illuminated.

I hope God gives me dreams in which he is less subtle. I don’t want to think like a Christian during the day and like an unbeliever while I sleep.