Storm Refuses to Die

I am fed up with Tropical Mutant Storm Fay. First of all, who spells “Faye” without an E? Second, although it caused me very little trouble (and this is what really matters), it’s trying to reintensify while over land. This is against the rules.

Say a prayer that it dries up and dies. Don’t let Al Gore win.

Brave Citizen Journalist Survives Edge of Tropical Storm

I write you today from the belly of the beast. I was supposed to experience tropical storm conditions this morning, but so far, it has been breezy with a few drops of rain.

I’m thrilled. I truly did not look forward to driving around town looking for my garbage cans, or to spending nights stuck to a wet mattress, waiting for the power to go back on.

The phone works. The Internet works. The TV cable works. The power is okay for the most part, but it flickers from time to time. I guess something is being blown against some vital electrical thing somewhere in the neighborhood. It’s not a big deal. Here, we often have power outages even in good weather. God bless the public utilities and their monopolies.

The power flickering has brought one issue to light. My battery backup has had it. It used to keep my computer going for quite some time after an outage started. Now it gives up after a few seconds, and that’s the end of my session. I guess it’s three or four years old. Time for a new one. Luckily I have a spare. It’s not big enough to make me totally happy, but it will do until I make it to Best Buy.

I can’t tell you how many times the backup has saved me. Before I got a battery, I lost document after document. It amazes me that Florida Power & Light gets away with the level of service they provide. They have to be destroying electronics and appliances at a very high rate.

I guess I’ll get another king-size backup. They keep computers running, and you can also charge them before a hurricane and use them to power small items.

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Thanks for the comments suggesting I replace the battery instead of the whole UPS. Saved me 60 bucks.

The spare UPS I’m using is going to take forever to charge, so I won’t be able to make much use of the PC today. If it could keep the system going for 2 minutes, I’d be fine, but I guess it will take a while to reach that state.

Free!

Here is another cool thing that redeems the Internet. I have written about online Bibles. Well, it turns out you can listen to an audio version. The people at Bible Gateway have posted an audio edition of the New International Version, read by someone named Max McLean. You can find it at this link. They also have other versions.

It’s really neat. Reading the Bible is great, but there is a special value in hearing the words. And sometimes hearing is just more pleasant than reading.

I looked into audio Bibles at Christianbook.com, but the problem with their NIV is that there is no software interface that allows you to pick the verses you want to hear. You have to use fast-forward and rewind. That’s bad.

Still, it’s great to see technology used for a worthwhile purpose.

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Now I’m confused. One DVD reviewer says you can’t skip to the chapters you want, and another reader says you can.

Disappointing as a Drowning CGI Polar Bear

Looks like Tropical Storm Fay is crapping out. The eye is moving over Key West now, and judging from TV coverage, no one cares. The forecasters now think it’s very unlikely to become a hurricane. This storm is about as close to me as it will ever get, and right now there is a 10 mile per hour breeze and a light drizzle. Thank God for answered prayers. Al Gore doesn’t control the weather after all.

Judging from the satellite loop, it’s moving WNW now, which is nice for South Florida, but we really need it to come ashore if we want it to die, and there ain’t much land in the direction in which it’s heading. But I guess the weather guys know what’s what. Maybe it’s looking for Ward Brewer, up in Pensacola. Hurricanes love him.

The forecast for Miami says the wind will top out late tonight, at around 34 miles per hour. Hard to believe. The storm is actually getting farther away. I know these things aren’t completely symmetrical, but it would be pretty weird for the wind to extend that much farther out to the east than it does to the northeast. They predicted 21 miles per hour for this afternoon, and the actual speed is 7. Excuse me; 6.

I hope things don’t get rough. I have this sudden craving for chocolate, and I don’t have any on hand.

Not Exactly Camo

SOMEONE forgot to remind me to link to this, so I didn’t.

If you want to contribute to breast cancer research, and you like guns, this is for you. Somebody is raffling off a pink AR15 for cancer. You need this gun. Believe me.

Impending Tragedy

The cable news says some guy took off in a stolen plane, and that he’s flying around in Virginia, threatening to commit suicide by crashing in a populated area. Send up a prayer that he changes his mind and lands safely, and that no one is hurt.

Dodgeball

Here is how approaching hurricanes work. It’s morning. It’s not raining. You get ready to go help your dad secure his boat at the marina. The rain starts. You secure the boat in the rain. You go home and sit in front of your computer. Then the rain stops.

File this for future use.

Death, Destruction, and Shrieking TV Weathertwinks

Fay is out to get me. I made fun of it last week when it was supposedly a dissipating “invest,” and just to spite me, it has turned into a tropical storm, and last night it even made a sudden turn to the north, taking it closer to Miami. It LUNGED at me.

It’s very clear that this is all about me. I don’t care. I remain defiant. Al Gore is a kook. Global warming is a scam. I refuse to put up shutters. I am not buying a ridiculous generator.

It’s actually a good thing, the jog to the north. It means Fay will hit Florida sooner, away from a major city, and it will go over land and dissipate on its way north.

I pity the chronic stoners and federal fugitives fine people who live in the Keys. They don’t seem too worried about storm surge, but they still have to deal with evacuations and so on, and Key West is going to get fracased up about 2 1/2 months before tourist season.

It amazes me how the TV people love to scare us. Today I saw a warning: “TORNADOES POSSIBLE IN SOUTH FLORIDA.” Uh…tornadoes are ALWAYS possible when a tropical cyclone goes by. Hello?

Looks like we’re not going to get much lightning. That’s good. When the winds are below hurricane strength, they don’t have much effect on our primitive Florida Power & Light power grid. It’s the lightning that gets you. It melts the duct tape holding the system together. So it’s pretty unlikely that I’ll lose my precious few remaining prime steaks.

The weather people are freaking out, as usual. What they’re really saying is, “PAY US MORE AND STOP THINKING OF US AS THE RODEO CLOWNS OF TV JOURNALISM.” Weathermen tend to be gay; maybe that contributes to the drama. I saw some local guy today talking about HIGH WINDS AND TORRENTIAL RAIN. I can see out a window right now. The sky is a little grey, it is not raining, and the air is absolutely calm. Let’s check the marine forecast. Seas 4 to 6 feet. You can actually take a boat out in that, although the lightweights would heave over the side. Seas like that are pretty much normal in the winter. Tonight they’re supposed to peak at 9-11 feet, which is not very impressive. To give you an idea of what 4 to 6 is like here, my rule is that I won’t fish if the forecast goes past 2 to 4 unless there’s a tournament on.

It’s weird; in the open Atlantic off the Bahamas, a couple of hundred miles east of here, six-foot seas are rolly and pleasant. I’ve taken a 13-foot Boston Whaler out in heavy seas off Eleuthera, and I was fine. Here, the peaks of the waves are much closer together, so a six-foot sea will beat you to death.

I’m glad I won’t have a week of interesting hurricane blogging for you. Nothing is worse than losing your electricity in Miami in August. I still remember sitting indoors after Katrina, absolutely motionless, watching one drop of sweat after another drip off the tip of my nose. When Rita came through in October, the small difference in heat and humidity made it seem almost pleasant.

I think the most irritating thing about storms is watching rookie news people fresh from the Northeast interview seasoned Florida residents. These guys are supposed to be the experts, and they clearly know absolutely nothing. “Hurricane Beavis is supposed to pass within 400 miles of Port St. Lucie, yet none of these residents has bothered constructing a bomb shelter or switching to snow tires. Oh, Shep. When will they learn?” They keep badgering people on camera, trying to get them to–I don’t know–do cartwheels or something. You know what? It’s going to rain, and the wind is going to blow. Get over it.

One thing concerns me. Do I have enough homebrew to make it through the crisis? Generally, when a hurricane hits, I put a Corny keg in the same cooler with my food. This time I may be down to a gallon of beer. Talk about poor preparation.

I’m not going to bitch about the storm moving closer. It would be nice for me if it moved west and went up the Gulf, but I don’t want someone else to get a Category 4 so I can avoid a tropical storm. And the last thing we need is wind near our oil rigs. It has no real effect, but the oil speculators don’t care. They would make the most of it.

I have to go do my preparations, which consist of moving a ladder indoors and shoving some potted peppers around. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, it only means I have been swept up to the land of Oz, where Hillary Clinton will try to poison me with poppies.

China Confiscates Bibles at Airport

Here’s a fine God-related piece of news just ripe for a Sunday blog post. It sounds like bad news, but it may actually be very, very good news. It depends on how the press handles it. The Chinese government has confiscated over 300 Bibles from several Christian missionaries at the Kunming airport!

Why is that good news? Because it exposes the Chicoms for what they are. Totalitarians who deny citizens and visitors their basic human rights.

Don’t get the idea that taking a Bible away isn’t a serious act of oppression. Freedom of religion is one of the most fundamental human rights. It’s not a trifle. Taking it away is just as serious as taking away freedom of expression. Which the Chinese also deny their people. Imagine the hysteria that would erupt if an American policeman confiscated hundreds of Bibles.

Christians aren’t the only ones who spreading this story. The shameless socialists at the Associated Press wrote it up. Here’s a link.

Money quotes:

Bibles are printed under the supervision of the Communist government. The officially atheistic country only allows them to be used in government-sanctioned churches and in some big hotels catering to foreigners.

And:

China faces routine criticism for its human rights violations and its repression of religious freedom. Religious practice is heavily regulated by the Communist Party, with worship allowed only in party-controlled churches, temples and mosques, while those gathering outside face harassment, arrest and terms in labor camps or prison.

Hold a prayer meeting, go to jail. That’s unfettered leftism for you. The elites have decided it is a certainty God does not exist. You are not entitled to make up your own mind. Leftism is such a kind religion; a few people at the top make all the important decisions, preventing ignorant, untrained ordinary citizens from getting things wrong, and taking the heavy weight of autonomy off their liberated shoulders. This is the beautiful gift George Clooney and Barbra Streisand and Al Gore want to give you. Of course, prominent socialists like these would continue living like capitalists, because the left-wing illuminati are special and need power and wealth in order to spread joy and enlightenment.

I’m so glad the Chinese got the Olympics, and that the games are casting a bright spotlight on their sins. The world needs to remember that a few KFCs and Burger Kings do not a democracy make. Maybe a little public shaming will persuade the Chinese to loosen their grip on the church. Why is it such a big threat to them? Christians believe in hard work, obeying the law, patriotism, and paying their taxes. It would be a real blow to the revolution if those things caught on.

Look how the Chinese government treats Bibles. They treat them like methadone, which is appropriate, considering Karl Marx’s fatuous “opiate” remark. They print China’s Bibles, and they distribute them. The story says they sanction churches. The other side of that coin is that they prohibit all other churches and pastors. A license isn’t permission for the holder, although it may seem that way. It’s a ban for everyone else. Before the US had driver’s licenses, everyone could drive. Licensing didn’t increase the pool of drivers. It shrank it. And China’s church licensing shrinks the church. That’s the reason China does it. They have turned worship into a prescription drug, used to manage a destructive addiction, and they don’t allow the manufacture of generics.

Evangelism is so important, and I don’t think we do nearly enough of it. I always write about religious charities I’ve found, and it’s always exciting to find a new one I like. But it has been harder to find organizations that evangelize effectively. That is especially sad, in a time when the Internet and cell phones and satellites make it impossible for Muslims and atheists to keep the gospel out of their countries. It used to be that smuggling was required, in order to get religious materials into oppressed hands. Now you can send a single DVD into a socialist country, with an Adobe-format Bible on it, and it can be duplicated millions of times and sent to countless locations, at no cost. There are broadcasts that reach into Muslim and socialist countries. People just need to know how to tune them in. This ought to be evangelism’s most powerful era. Maybe it is; I wouldn’t know how to find out. It’s something we need to support. When it comes to transforming the world, religion is the most powerful force there is. Far stronger than politics.

I’m glad I found out about Open Doors and Secret Believers.

Let’s hope the Chinese continue giving the world horrifying glimpses of their government’s true nature.

Art Imitates Low Life

Today’s Day by Day strip got me thinking. You don’t have to click on the link; I installed Chris’s new robo-banner to your left. Mouse over it, and you get the current strip.

The subject is women in abusive relationships. This is a topic that is close to my heart. Abusive relationships are extremely frustrating for people who care about the victims. Not just because the victims suffer, but because abused women invite, prolong, and revive the abuse. Getting a woman to drop an abuser and cut him out of her life completely–which are the only appropriate things to do–is about as easy as getting someone off crack.

Here are some thing women should know.

1. If you have to walk on eggs around your partner, you are in an abusive relationship.

2. If you think it’s your fault when your partner blows up, you are in an abusive relationship.

3. If you feel like you accomplished something when you come to the end of a day during which your partner has not mistreated you–if a day when you are treated with ordinary kindness and respect seems special–you are in an abusive relationship.

4. If you push friends and relatives away because they complain about the way your partner treats you, you are in an abusive relationship, and you are doing exactly what the abuser wants, and before long, he will be your only social contact.

5. Your abusive partner is not going to change, barring divine intervention in response to a sincere religious conversion on the part of the abuser. You can bet your life that won’t happen.

6. The longer you stay with or even communicate with your abusive partner, the harder it will be to get away.

7. When an abuser begs for forgiveness and swears he’ll change, it’s just his way of getting you back into a situation where he can continue abusing you.

8. If you continue to communicate with the abuser, even as a friend, the abusive relationship is still alive, and you are not completely safe. Removing an abuser from your life is like removing a cancer; you have to get it all out.

Here’s another fact. A partner doesn’t have to touch you to be abusive. If you live with someone who runs you down in order to control you, it’s abuse. And women abuse, too.

If you’re with someone who systematically insults your appearance, your intelligence, your accomplishments, your character, or your lovemaking, you’re in an abusive relationship. It may be more subtle than dragging you around by your hair or choking you, but it’s a different way of achieving the same end.

Here’s something else you need to know. If you persist in “trying to make it work,” the people who care about you will eventually leave you alone and let you descend into hell. That’s what people do with addicts…like you. They withdraw until the addicts get so desperate they sincerely try to help themselves.

You can make little changes in a partner. You may be able to make a husband pick up his socks. You may be able to persuade a woman to stop leaving her makeup all over the bathroom. But you can’t make an abusive partner kind and supportive. You may think your relationship is special, and that other people don’t understand, but it isn’t, and they do. You’re the one who doesn’t understand.

If you want to see a great portrait of abuse, rent What’s Love Got to Do With It. It’s a hundred percent accurate. An abuser punishes his wife when he has problems in business. He will punish his wife for anything that resembles criticism. And he will never believe the relationship is over, because as far as he’s concerned, you’re like part of his body. Like property. He’s just like you; he thinks your relationship is special.

I kind of wish Chris would go back to making fun of Nancy Pelosi.

Clerks III

Am I crazy, or has Kevin Smith totally given up?

I just took a look at a teaser for his new film, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. It’s funny, but it’s only funny because it’s unbelievably filthy. Any imbecile who can string a few dirty words together can be hilarious. It requires very little talent. Why on earth is a middle-aged man with a whole bunch of movies to his credit still resorting to cheap humor? What kind of legacy is that?

Not every dirty filmmaker lacks talent. Mike Judge made Beavis and Butt-head, which was full of filth and sensationalism. Then he made King of the Hill, which was not only cleaner, but somewhat wholesome. And it was really good. Why isn’t Kevin Smith willing to face the same challenge? My guess: desperation. He made his ensemble movies, which made a little money, and then he made Jersey Girl, which did not. Then he went back to the ensemble. And he made a big speech about how it had nothing to do with having failed and wanting to go back to something safe. But who believes that? Nobody. His audience isn’t completely stupid. Does anyone seriously believe that when he made Jersey Girl, he planned to go back to Jay and Silent Bob? Come on. No way. When he made Jersey Girl, he was looking for a way out. He wanted to prove he could do something new. Any creative person can see that.

He gets really furious when people poke at this sensitive topic, which tells you everything you need to know. I just saw a video where a fan asked him if he was going to move on to new things, and Smith heaped vile insults on him. Smith was exposed, and he didn’t like it.

I think he’s making a big mistake, going back to high school humor. He should have sucked it up after Jersey Girl and tried again. It’s not like he’s poor or old. It wouldn’t have killed him to make a second more or less grown-up film.

Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he doesn’t have what it takes. I’m trying to remember the clean parts of his films, to get an idea of whether he can be funny without going cheap. He wrote a lot of scenes that were smart and clean, but I don’t recall a lot of clean scenes that made me laugh. Okay, I can think of some things. Hooper X was funny.

He may be misgauging his audience very badly. His fans are not young any more. Clerks is fourteen years old, and Smith’s only real successes were 1999’s Dogma and 2006’s Clerks II, and they were not hits. Maybe his aging audience is getting tired of sex and poop jokes, and turning back to these old standbys is the worst thing he can do. I own a copy of Clerks, but if Clerks had been made this year, at my age, I wouldn’t have gone to see it.

Besides, at a certain age, you have to ask yourself if you want to a) make quality movies or b) be the next John Waters.

I think about issues like this a lot, because I’m religious, but I would like to keep on writing humor. I don’t want to suck the fun out of my books. But is that really a risk, for a talented person? No. Far from it. In fact, clean sells, IF it’s clean and funny. If I’m willing to take twice as long to write a page, I can be both, so that’s what I should try to do. It takes more work, but it also demonstrates a higher level of ability.

You want proof that you don’t have to be dirty to be funny and profitable? Here: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Funnier than anything Kevin Smith has ever done. No filth. No cruelty. You can watch it with your grandmother and your twelve-year-old son. Budget: $5 million. Gross: $368 million, plus. Guess what you would have if you added up the grosses of all of Kevin Smith’s movies. Here’s your answer: less. In fact, that would probably be true if you slashed the 3 and only kept the 6 and the 8. If Nia Vardalos drops dead today, and Kevin Smith continues making movies for thirty years, her lifetime gross will probably still dwarf his, and she has only made one movie to his eight. And if she and Kevin Smith walk into a studio head’s office today at the same time, each claiming to have a fantastic new script in hand, who do you think will get shown in first?

“Kevin, run out and pick up some lunch for us, okay, babe?”

If Dogma was his brainchild, it proves he can come up with a story (unlike his other movies). And we know he can write dialogue. So why keep pandering to brainless, smirking college kids?

It’s pointless for him to continue refusing to admit he’s in a rut. He already admitted he was tired of his old shtick. He admitted it by trying to make a romantic comedy.

You could not drag me to see his new movie. I don’t even care if it’s funny. There are only so many shocking sex and poop jokes you can stand to hear from Kevin Smith. I get it; I get it. It’s two ordinary people looking and acting very serious while they try to make money filming a porno. It’s hilarious when people talk about genitals in a detached and businesslike way. Oh, boy, is that funny. Or at least it was, maybe thirty years ago, when the concept wasn’t completely played out. I’m not paying good money to sit through this mess, and I suspect the overwhelming majority of ticket buyers–even atheists and longtime Kevin Smith fans–will agree with me.

You Read it Here First

You know that 500-pound “bigfoot corpse” those clowns in Georgia claim they have in a cooler in Georgia? Well, it’s a fake.

I guess you’re wondering how I know. Here’s how.

1. I am old.

2. I am not a moron.

Thanks for your time.

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Breaking news: Janet Reno is missing.

Ho Hum I Felt a Sprinkle

Man, that was fast. This morning the TV weatherpersons were saying the tropical whatever down by the DR was dying. Here it is only a few hours later, and the damned thing has gone past depression, straight to named storm. On the up side, it still appears doomed to drag its sorry behind up the length of Cuba. I am somewhat disappointed, but I see no need to stop gloating.

When it leaves Cuba, it will be a tropical storm, at best. Fine by me. A little rain. A little wind. You can’t compare it to a hurricane. And tropical storms don’t have much effect on important things like power lines. It’s a funny thing, but around here, the power goes out during lightning storms (because Florida Power & Light is run by squirrel monkeys), but a light hurricane doesn’t have much effect, and that means a tropical storm won’t, either.

The computer models are looking great. Only one takes it near enough to me to make it a problem. And the forecast doesn’t show it turning into a hurricane. NOAA says it may drop 12″ of rain on Cuba. My response? BFD. I’ve seen 14″ here in Miami, on a completely ordinary day. Oooooooooooo scary. Hold me, Al Gore. My yard may become damp.

By this time in 2005, we had had five tropical storms and four hurricanes, and Katrina and tropical storm Jose were forming. This year is a joke, just like last year and 2006. Drink that tasty bathwater, hippies. Your storm plague just isn’t happening. Also, the Beatles suck, and George Bush will never be impeached.

See if You Can Make it Rain on the Hippies

Nothing is quite so beautiful as an August weekend in Miami, with a failed tropical depression somewhere to the southeast. That is the situation in which I find myself at present.

Hurricane…oops, I mean “tropical storm”…no, wait, “tropical depression”…wrong again…”Invest 92L” is wandering toward Hispaniola, packing weak winds and a moderate amount of rain. After that, it will take the long route across Cuba, losing power the whole way. Once that’s done, it will pop out in the Florida Straits or over the southern Bahamas, where almost nobody lives. If it manages to become a real storm after that, it will be a big surprise, but it will probably be too far offshore to do any damage.

I have to say it again. I love the word “invest.” We never heard it before 2006. At least not in relation to weather. We used to have hurricanes, tropical storms, tropical depressions, and sometimes “tropical waves.” But no invests. Why is that? Simple. Global warming turned out to be a crock, the epidemic of killer storms failed to materialize, we ran short of significant tropical weather events to panic about, and TV journalists and greenies needed a device to help them save face. We’ve had two slow seasons in a row, we are in the midst of a third, and four years ago, these boobs were telling us to expect twenty man-caused hurricanes per year. So now whenever it rains off the coast of Africa, they put up fuzzy, vague satellite photos of the wet area, and they tell us it’s an invest. And they say we need to “keep a close eye on it” in case it turns into a monster storm, which will require us to “hunker down.”

Translation: “we cannot justify our salaries or our existence.”

Whenever I hear the ridiculous phrase “hunker down,” I picture people squatting in their living rooms like chimpanzees. Here’s what it really means. “Close your shutters and buy five bags of ice.”

What if things get even slower, and we don’t even have invests? What will TV weathermen use to scare us and pump up their salaries and persuade networks to pay for fancy gear? I know. Whenever it drizzles for a few minutes, just west of the Azores, they’ll call it “a tropical booboo.” “This tropical booboo by the Cape Verde islands may become an invest by the middle of the week. Hunker down and quit using toilet paper.”

I know I shouldn’t gloat, but you have to understand something. For several years, liberals have been actively rooting for hurricanes to develop. That’s no exaggeration. It’s like the war in Iraq. The more bodies come home, the more Congressional seats liberals gain, so Democrats wept and squirmed when the troop surge worked, and the liberal media sat on (and still sits on) the story. The more hurricanes we have, the more credible the global warming myth becomes, and the more control liberals can exert over our lives. So a slow season is a catastrophe.

The big problem with this attitude–there are a few, but this is the biggest–is that hurricanes are very BAD. As a person who has experienced 180 mile-per-hour winds and who has been through at least five hurricanes, I can tell you that a hurricane is nothing to root for. They kill people. They destroy homes. They disrupt lives. They spawn crimes of opportunity, and they lead to gunshot deaths. Only an effete liberal could be happy about things like that. Theory is fun, but sometimes you have to remember that human beings are not just pixels on a monitor. We suffer and die. Our welfare is more important than the need to prop up Al Gore’s fatuous lies. Thinking of people as abstractions is what leads to leftist delights such as killing fields and purges.

Katrina was one of the greatest things that ever happened to the American left. It also killed hundreds of people and destroyed a major city. Call me crazy; on the whole, I think we sustained a net loss. I wonder how many liberals would trade their Congressional majority for the undoing of Katrina. Let’s face it. Very few. If you can hope your country loses a war, no catastrophe can reanimate your withered, vestigial empathy.

Pretty soon I’m going to have to put the graph up. You may remember it. I mean the graph of hurricane frequency versus time of year. We are nearly at the mid-point of the hurricane season. The historical graph shows that storm frequency peaks sharply in the middle of the season. We have probably seen almost 50% of this year’s activity by now. After September 30th, our chances of a storm will drop off to a very comfortable near-nothing. And the greenies will have to drink their bathwater yet again. And yes, I know they don’t really bathe. B.O. and funk are good for Gaia, the big lifeless clod of dirt God gave us to subdue and enslave and deplete for our benefit and amusement.

Nuts on the left actually blamed George Bush for the hurricanes of 2004 and 2005. Look it up; they were completely serious. If he caused the storms, he also gets credit for the calm weather we’re having now. Wow, Mr. President, way to stop those hurricanes. The left concedes that you control the weather, so obviously, you are the reason our roofs aren’t blowing off. And thanks for all the sunshine. My Key limes and plantains have never looked better. I’d appreciate it if you could cut the humidity on October 1st. We need a little rain for the Biscayne aquifer, but after that, we can do without the sticky nights.

There is no wave of killer hurricanes. The polar bears are not drowning, and they never were, and they never will be. Global warming is not happening, to any significant extent. And Al Gore is still a liar and an energy-wasting hypocrite. Nice things to know, as I coast into another sunny South Florida weekend.

Now You Can Relax

I keep forgetting to mention this.

Are you wondering who it is that you are reminded of when you hear the Obamessiah’s voice? Well, wonder no more. It’s Jose Ferrer.