But Keep Your Cargo Shorts

I got an email from a reader today. She pointed me to Sermonaudio.com. I already knew about this resource; I’ve listened to preachers I like. She directed me to a Georgia preacher named John Weaver. The link above goes to the sermon I listened to today. It’s a two-part series; I’ve only heard the first part.

I picked it because the subject was something of special interest to me. The right to self-defense. The Jews believe they have an obligation to defend others, even if they have to use deadly force; I’m not sure if they believe a Jew has an obligation to defend himself. It’s a slightly different question. Jesus told his disciples to buy swords, and he meant actual swords; there were two in the room when He said it. Still, it’s a question worth researching. There is a colorable argument to be made for refusing to kill someone who, like most violent criminals, does not know God.

The sermon was good. There were a few remarks about Indians which people might consider insensitive, but they were made in reference to times when Indians were the biggest danger Americans faced. Pastor Weaver says he keeps loaded guns in his home, and that he considers himself obligated to defend himself and others. I feel a lot more comfortable about the issue after listening to him.

It may be odd to say it in this age of disposable babies, but I think we sometimes value life too much. We often behave as though every life has infinite value, but that’s not true. We put a surprisingly low value on our own lives every day. I can give examples. We are supposed to put our lives on the line for our country. Every time a huge construction project is undertaken, the people behind it know it is nearly certain at least one worker will die. We ride motorcycles. We dive. Our diets aren’t perfect. Many of us risk death by treating people who have infectious diseases. The truth is, we are willing to risk death for many reasons, and a good number of them are trivial. And that’s okay; it’s healthy. Death is part of every life. It’s like puberty or menopause. It’s difficult, but it’s wrong to treat it as though it were a catastrophe. You can’t live in a bubble.

God drowned the Egyptian army as it pursued Moses. He killed a hundred soldiers of Israel’s army with fire from heaven. He killed every person and animal in the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. In the flood, all but eight people died. Samson killed a thousand people in one day, and it was actually God within him, doing the killing. And God directed us to kill home invaders on sight. He directed us to kill witches and perverts. Life is important, but it’s not really priceless.

Pastor Weaver also talked about the way the self-defense obligation, as it applies to animals. He says that the Old Testament requires Jews to rescue animals belonging to strangers. This is a subject that has always bothered me. Every so often, I see a dog wandering around on the street, and I know it’s in trouble, but I’m usually in a roadster with nice leather seats. So I keep driving, and I’m sure people have lost beloved pets because of my selfishness. I thought about it while I listened to the sermon, and I realized there was an answer. I can keep a rope in my trunk. I can tie a dog by the side of the road and call the county. Simple, right?

What if I can’t tie him? Well, if I can’t tie him, how was I supposed to put him in the car?

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. Maybe it will be of use to some of you.

Incidentally, on a related note, I have been reading about the K31 rifle. People on the web claim they’re pretty consistent, so I’m wondering if my accuracy problems are my own fault. I’m shooting about a 5″ group at 100 yards. I can’t figure it out. I don’t like the trigger; it seems like you have to pull very hard to make it go off. But surely I should be doing better than this, if the gun is okay. I’m using Swiss GP11 ammunition, which is supposed to be excellent. Maybe I should take off the stock and see if there’s any crud between it and the barrel. My .17 HMR shoots groups half as big, and it’s not nearly as easy to aim and hold as the K31.

If I could get real accuracy out of the K31, I’d buy a second one and put an aftermarket stock and maybe a 16x scope on it.

My spring set for the Smith & Wesson 27-2 arrived, so I’ll be installing it. I couldn’t get a thinner trigger from Brownell’s. Maybe someone else makes one, or maybe when the springs are fixed, the trigger won’t matter. I only shoot single-action, so the springs are important. I figure anyone can shoot a cocked revolver, so the smart thing is to shoot single-action, which is harder.

Considering buying Old Navy cargo shorts, but worried that the pockets aren’t deep enough for concealed carry? Relax. I have had no problems putting a small Glock in my pocket, with a Sidekick holster. If you have something like a Kel-Tec or a Kahr, it should be even easier. It’s actually better than a deep pocket, because you can get to the gun easier. I really like these shorts. Super comfortable, cheap, and practical.

Fun New Fire Hazard Revealed

Here’s today’s shoddy-construction nightmare.

The air conditioner crapped out. Probably a bad capacitor on the compressor. No problem, right? Wrong. The breaker by the compressor failed to trip, so the wiring and the box burned. While the AC guy was replacing it, he found a piece of conduit running from the 220 AC box to a floodlight and outdoor socket. It was probably #14 wire. With the ground used as neutral. And NO FUSE ON THE CIRCUIT. In other words, some…GENIUS…drew power from a 60-amp 220 circuit for a 15-amp 110 circuit, and he didn’t use a neutral wire, and he didn’t put a separate fuse or breaker in the smaller circuit. So if the floodlight fries, the wiring leading to it melts. And if something near the conduit or floodlight catches fire, adios, house.

Isn’t there a law that says I can shoot someone over this?

The solution is to remove the conduit going to the AC box, drill a hole into the garage, drill a hole from the garage into the AC air handler closet, run more conduit, and hook it all up to the bare 220 Romex I found earlier this year, hanging in the closet. I can hook the Romex up to a 110 breaker at the panel. I can also put up some lights in the closet, which I wanted to do anyway.

The AC guy is putting a new box with slug fuses next to the compressor. I was going to bitch, but now that I’ve seen how well circuit breakers work outdoors, I’m keeping my mouth shut. Fuses are wonderful. Bring them on.

This house is like a sickly octogenarian, and I’m the immune system.

Yesterday I found out there was a leak in the swimming pool pump pipes I replaced, so I get to fix those as soon as the AC guy leaves.

Should I buy some expensive tools, chosen primarily because I think they’re cool? Yes, obviously. That will help.

If you have kids, for God’s sake, learn something about wiring and inspect your house. Don’t trust a professional. They just walk around the property once and then take your money. This place has been inspected, and they didn’t find a damn thing.

Are Voters Smart Enough to Notice?

Not only did McCain win tonight’s debate; he managed to convince me he could actually be a good President. I hate to say it, because he irritated me with his disloyalty in the past, and McCain-Feingold was just plain stupid. But he was magnificent.

He turned Obama’s strategy against him. Obama knew McCain was a hothead, so he planned to make him angry. He couldn’t do it, but McCain made him furious. In nearly every answer, McCain managed to toss Obama a grenade, and they all blew up. I loved the shots of Obama, fuming and sweating as McCain talked. He actually turned grey when McCain made him mad, so it was obvious when McCain got his goat.

The TV heads are saying there was no embarrassing soundbite for Obama; they apparently didn’t hear him squeal, “I, too, have a bracelet!” And as for McCain zingers, who will ever forget, “I don’t even have a seal, yet”?

Obama tried to make eye contact with McCain in order to annoy him, but McCain was all business, looking down at his podium and smiling as he wrote notes. That’s self-discipline. Something ex-military men have and community organizers don’t. After a while, Obama looked silly, continuing to work the tactic long after it was obviously that it wasn’t succeeding.

Here’s the thing no one seems to be saying: tonight a guy who graduated very close to the bottom of his class at the Naval Academy out-talked a Harvard lawyer. As an attorney, I can tell you, Obama was horrible. Debating is persuasive speech; it’s what lawyers do. Obama should be a champ. But McCain batted him around like a shuttlecock. McCain made Obama fight McCain’s fight.

I have to say, McCain is very sharp for his age. He was quicker and more focused than Obama.

I don’t know if the public will think McCain won. Swing voters are truly stupid. They might vote for Obama because they liked his tie. But I think he did great.

“Teleprompter! HELLLLP!”

I did not realize what a truly foolish and arrogant person Obama was until tonight. McCain is pushing his buttons effortlessly, and Obama is clearly infuriated, because it has probably been five years since anyone had the sand to contradict The One to his face.

MAN, this is good. I hate debates, but I’m glad I watched this one.

More

This is weird. Obama turns grey when he gets mad. Which is like every two minutes.

Another money quote: “I don’t even have a seal yet.”

Go home, Barack. You are not helping yourself. I can’t believe you insisted on having this debate tonight.

God Bless Competition

Life is very exciting these days, because it looks like ordinary mortals will finally be able to get their hands on a Fein Multimaster…CLONE. I mentioned this earlier today.

The Multimaster is one of those tools you feel you absolutely have to have, once you see the cool commercial. It’s even more impressive than the Flavor Injector and Mighty Putty, and that’s saying something. All it does is vibrate a blade or a sanding tip back and forth, but somehow, you can do a lot of impressive crap with it anyway.

I love watching the videos. The people at Fein seem obsessed with two things: removing putty from windows, and cutting the bottoms of door jambs so tile will fit under them. It sounds boring, but I could watch them do that all day.

Have I ever needed to do either of those things?

No.

Still.

Up until now, the Fein Multimaster has sold for the ridiculous price of like $200 for the tool and a couple of crappy attachments, which is like paying $200 for an electric toothbrush. So a lot of people have refused to buy Multimasters. I think the price is high because there’s a patent issue; nobody was allowed to clone it in the US. Maybe I’m wrong. Anyway, in a couple of days, you’ll be able to buy one of two knockoffs: the Bosch PS50 Multi-x and the Dremel Multimax. Actually, I think the Dremel is already available.

Boy, they worked hard coming up with original names for these things.

The Dremel has a cord and costs around a hundred bucks. It’s a 1.5-amp tool. The Bosch is cordless. I have no idea what the wattage is on either tool. The Bosch, plus the basic junk, is like $130. So it’s like 65% of the price of the Fein. I know, I know…the Fein is made by genetically engineered Swiss elves who used to work for BMW (HEIL!), so it’s an Ubertool. I’m sure the Bosch will work okay anyway.

I’m not a huge fan of cordless tools, but for something like this, I guess it makes sense. It’s not like you’re going to be running it for an hour at a time.

Here’s what would be really good. It would be really good if Fein dropped its price. I guess that will happen in about a month.

I make fun of these things, but I’ll tell you what’s cool about them. You can take a flat piece of wood and cut rectangular holes in it. I don’t have any other tools that do that. It’s a real pain.

Go Look

Come on, pretend I fooled you. It’s worth it.

No Amateurs, Please

I have a question for the tool people. It’s very technical.

Why is it that when you work in the yard all day, and then you set up your miter saw in the driveway and make shelves, and you get sawdust all over yourself and you sweat like a pig, and then you go inside and find out the air conditioning isn’t working because a capacitor blew…it always happens on Friday night?

Entertainment While I Wait for my Dough to Rise

What’re you doin’ today?

What’re you doin’ today?

What’re you doin’ today?

What’re you doin’ today?

Garage or Museum?

In an earlier post today I grazed an annoying topic: my failure to make full use of my tools. Some of them, like the impact driver and miter saw, are getting worn out. Others, like the welder and router, not so much.

I was thinking what a shame it was that I didn’t use the idle tools more. Then I remembered…I don’t have to wait for a situation where I have to use them. I should be coming up with projects so I have EXCUSES to use them.

So I guess I’ll get to work on that.

It’s not like there aren’t opportunities. Marv and Maynard still need some kind of permanent perch on the patio, that swings out. I need to refinish the smoke box on the Hoginator. I haven’t created a new patio cabinet for paper plates and stuff, as I hoped to. My router table project has failed to materialize; I still have a nice router (Christmas gift) in a box.

Now…I’ll need some projects that justify buying a Bobcat.

I’m doing good today. I fertilized some trees, spread mulch, went on a Roundup search-and-destroy mission, filled the hole I recently pulled a concrete slug out of, shot fungus poison all over the place, and did various other nagging tasks. I threw out a perfectly good hundred-foot hose and replaced it, simply because I couldn’t stand it any more. I got it at Costco; what a deal. It kinks when you look at it funny. Life is too short to put up with that. It’s especially irritating when the hose is really long and you have to walk across the yard to unkink it. In several places.

I think I may buy some manure.

Start Buying Them Immediately

I have bunch of yard crap to finish up today, and yard crap means tools.

A reader sent me something interesting. It was a link to one of the craziest tools I’ve ever seen. It’s a motorized comealong. Or a handheld winch. However you want to look at it. It’s called the Pullzall, and you can see it at this link.

The cordless version has endless possibilities. Of course, it costs twice as much.

I can’t believe the junk you can buy, if you just know where to look.

There are a number of tools I dream about buying, yet somehow resist. This is remarkable, in view of the expensive toys I’ve already bought.

1. Fein Multimaster. I need this tool…and I think you will agree…because the commercials are so cool. Also, it looks like it would be great for a lot of small sawing jobs that don’t seem to fit any other kind of saw. Oh, wait? Did I say “Multimaster”? No, I need the Fein Supercut. Because it costs twice as much, so it must be way better.

2. Rotozip. Again, I cite the cool commercials. And you can cut in all sorts of squiggly directions.

3. Acetylene torch. Sometimes I just want to roast and punish things that have made me mad.

4. Car lift. Every garage should be built with one of these, ready to use. Mechanics all over America would have to emigrate. Which would be a great blessing to us all. Maybe we could send them to Iran, where their dishonesty and incompetence would wreck the economy.

5. Bobcat. Do I even need to explain why I need a Bobcat? Are you going to waste my time with stupid questions like that? I sure hope not.

6. Giant drill press. I was going to buy one, but the energy crunch added a hundred bucks to the price. These are actually useful. There are a lot of things you just can’t do all that well with a drill. I was hoping I’d be able to use it to turn scrap lumber into bird toys. A typical bird toy runs fifteen bucks, and they contain about ten cents’ worth of materials. And they have a short lifespan.

7. Milling machine. The only reason I won’t buy one of these is that I’m positive I won’t take the time to learn how to use it.

8. Blasting cabinet. I would use it maybe three times a year, but on those occasions, it would rock. The alternative is to shoot sand all over the yard, and I can’t say I’m uncomfortable with that.

9. Demolition hammer. When you need a demolition hammer, it’s pretty hard to come up with anything else that will do what you want.

10. Sawstop table saw. They stop instantly when they realize they’re cutting meat, i.e., you. Sadly they cost about a million dollars. Okay, their smallest cabinet saw is almost four grand. Comparable Delta saw: around two grand. Which is still $1700 more than I paid for my table saw. If you’re rich and you use a table saw, you have to be stupid not to have a Sawstop. If you’re not rich, it makes sense to bet a few fingers on your ability to dodge.

Wow, I managed to stall until 11:22. This was well worth the effort.

More

Bosch and Dremel just launched competitors to the Multimaster. HOORAY. And Proxxon makes a little version for small jobs.

Adequate, but not Great

Today someone was asking about the Publix bagged cheese I said I was going to try on a pizza.

It’s not great. Costco bagged cheese is wonderful, but this stuff is nothing to write home about. It seems better than most of the bagged cheese from major companies, but the texture is a little too much like vinyl for me.

The Boar’s Head sliced mozzarella from the deli counter still seems like the best bet. I make them slice it thin, with none of that annoying plastic between slices, and I apply it two slices deep.

Palin Alleged to Shoot Joose as Well as Moose

People are asking about Alcee Hastings, the Florida Congressman who says Sarah Palin will treat Jews and blacks like the moose she shoots and butchers. Never mind the increasing anti-Semitism of the left. Never mind the fervent support conservative Christians give the Jews and Israel. Never mind the praise Jewish leaders have heaped on Palin.

Hastings is an impeached federal judge. It’s very tough for a federal judge to get in trouble of any kind, but Hastings managed to offend Congress so badly they pulled his ticket. He was impeached for bribery, but he was acquitted in his criminal trial. He turned around and ran for office and won. He’s like the Al Sharpton of judges.

Ecstasy

My new thing is to make a small pizza for lunch. I only use a cup of flour; the pizza is about ten inches or a foot wide.

I just made one. After I ate it, I couldn’t get up from the chair. I just sat there, marveling at how good it was. I would marvel for a while, and then I’d think about something else, and then suddenly I’d say, out loud, “DAMN that was good.”

These are the little moments a cook lives for.

One of the most important parts of making a pizza with commercial sauce is forcing yourself to add enough water. You have to have a sauce that won’t hold a peak after you pull a spoon out. It seems counterintuitive, but trust me, it’s crucial. That’s what I did today. And I went easy on the cheese. I used King Arthur bread flour, without oil. I smeared oil on the outside while it rose, but there was no oil inside the dough.

I wish I could have another, right now. But lunch is behind me and I have to go back to poisoning the yard.

“That Pile of Laundry…it Waved at Me!”

The IDF needs a marketing man, to popularize their Paladium commando boots in the US. With the red-hot fad that would result, Israel could retire its national debt.

I am wearing IDF boots right now. I bought them a couple of years ago at Israelmilitary.com. They were a lot less expensive back then. The price has gone up by twenty bucks. I miss the strong dollar.

IDF boots are like high-top Converses, except they have a much better sole. So you get the cool and comfort of a sneaker, with a boot sole that stands up to real life.

I had to do some mulching today, and I have to poison the entire yard with granules again. I have to clean the patio and do some other crap. I’ve been wearing tennis shoes to do this kind of stuff, but crud falls in around my ankles. The higher tops on the IDF boots are much better; they deflect debris.

I bought the wrong size last time. I couldn’t remember which European size I took, so I guessed, and these are half a size too big. I corrected that today, via Ebay, where they’re considerably cheaper.

I am getting more and more eccentric, I guess. Today I hit Old Navy and bought two pairs of cargo shorts. I usually wear Ralph Lauren shorts, but a couple of weeks ago, I wore a pair to Man Camp, and Val set them on fire. I realized my life is too dangerous for $60 shorts. At least when Val is drinking Bud and doing things that involve combustion. So I have two new pairs of fairly hideous $19 shorts. I’m not sure the pockets will hold a pistol; I’ll worry about that later.

I have this awful desire to buy a pickup and dress like a mental patient for the rest of my life, except when I am forced to put on good clothes. The cargo shorts…the boots…my straw Stetson…I could be the American cousin of Fred Dagg.

More Slaving, for You

It’s shocking how far I will go to help my adoring fans.

A while back, I tried Costco bagged cheese on pizza, and it was excellent. Today I decided to try the bulk bagged cheese they sell at Publix supermarkets. If it’s any good, I’ll write it up at Manly Grub.

I’m only putting it on half the pizza. I can’t risk a whole bad pizza, so I’m doing a half-and-half job with Boar’s Head sliced mozzarella.