I am Not a Portion for Foxes

The craziest thing happened today. Last week I found myself thinking about the way wildlife was disappearing around here. I hadn’t seen a coon or a fox in a long time. They used to be all over the place. As I was watering the peppers this morning, I noticed a reddish cat walking away from me on the patio, about ten feet away. Something about it didn’t look right; it was very skinny and had a funny gait. Then I realized it was a fox. I guess it had been lying in the shade. I must have disturbed it. It wasn’t scared at all. It walked across the patio, turned and stared at me for a while, and then went under the deck. I guess it’s still there.

It wasn’t much to look at. Its tail was about as big around as a thick broom handle.

I don’t know why it wasn’t afraid. Usually it’s hard to get close to a fox. Our suburban neighbors may be handfeeding it out of ignorance. Or it may have rabies.

I have good news about Mish Weiss; I asked people to pray for her last night. She has leukemia, and yesterday she started to despair. Her friend Leah Friedman emailed me this morning. Mish has a more positive attitude this morning. They have found a bone marrow donor for her. That’s very good. Prayer works; God listens. The bad: she’s a vegan, and she refuses to eat or drink animal-based products that will help her get strong enough for a transplant.

Leah says she’s trying to get her to drink Ensure, a high-calorie drink for people who need a lot of nutrition without much effort. I guess it has animal products in it; Mish won’t touch it. If I had a cold, I’d gladly eat Bambi to get rid of it.

I remember begging my mother to drink Ensure when she was dying from lung cancer. My mother’s death was hastened by starvation. When she received radiation therapy, they burned her esophagus, and she was never able to eat properly after that. And the cancer made food disgusting to her; it does that to some people. I don’t know if Mish understands how lucky she is that she could make herself drink that stuff if she wanted to. There are many cancer patients out there who wish they could eat, but can’t.

I talked to Aaron about her situation last night. He said that Jewish law would require him to eat pork ribs, if he had to do it to save his life. Require.

Please keep Mish in your prayers. Leah, too. She still has lingering effects from her respiratory arrest.

I’m having an unusually good day. Might as well write about it.

Like most Christians, I have persistent sins I have to fight. Last night, I felt like I was having a big setback. And I prayed for God to turn it into a triumph. A few minutes later, as I prayed about other things, I realized my attitude had completely changed. I had forgotten my frustration and discouragement. I felt full of faith, and I was taking advantage of it by praying for other people. My prayer for a triumph had been answered almost instantly. Sometimes you have to be really alert, or else you won’t notice when God gives you exactly what you asked for.

I had a peculiar but uplifting thought. God gives different people different things to share with others. One example is wealth. You can use it to feed people and educate them and buy medical care and so on. You can finance ministries. You can use your money to help poor Jews fly to Israel. Last night I realized faith is like wealth. God distributes it unevenly. Presumably, people who have a lot of it are obligated to use it to help people who have less. Faith, then, is a kind of wealth. Because I know that, I have a better understanding of Acts 3:6.

I’m generally pretty pleased with the amount of faith I have. But until last night, I never thought of it as a gift I was supposed to share with other people.

Ever since I became aware of that, I have felt different. I feel as though the sun had risen inside me. Very odd, but I’ll take it. It’s a little bit like mania, which I am familiar with, because of the nature of my personality. But somehow it seems cleaner and healthier and more sustainable. I hope it lasts.

I feel energized. I feel like I can get things done. I’m usually pretty upbeat in real life, regardless of how I come across here, but today I have a powerful sensation of looking forward to whatever comes. I want to get up, get out there, and DO things.

Many times, I’ve read about Christians who claim to live in joy. I’ve always hoped I could reach that state. I feel good most of the time, and my faith has made things better, but I have never really reached a state which seemed to match the happiness so many Christians proclaim. Maybe I’m starting to see a piece of it. If it’s real, it would be a wonderful thing to help others achieve. One of the big drawbacks of Christianity is that potential adherents see it as a bunch of sacrifices with no reward until you die. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. A good life is supposed to be a better life.

I have stuff to do. Thanks for listening.