Don’t Cooperate With Squatters

Since Passover, more or less, I’ve been having strong sensations during prayer. I am fighting spirits I gave control to over the years. I keep speaking defeat to them and casting them out.

When spirits attach to you, they may set up shop in the area of your abdomen. I don’t know why it works this way, but it’s true. If you’ve ever felt an agitated hostile spirit move in you, you may have felt nausea and tension in your solar plexus. People commonly report this. These things have been happening to me during prayer.

Things are relatively normal before I start praying. Then as I speak to these things and cast them out, I feel the nausea and tension. It’s obvious; there is nothing subtle about it. I don’t bring it on myself, either. It appears without my help.

Another strange thing happens during these sessions. I hear gurgling sounds in me, and I feel things letting go. I believe I have problems with spirits constricting and blocking things inside me.

I noticed this years ago, when I was in college. I thought it was a purely natural thing. I would feel pressure building up inside me, on my left side under my lower ribs in the front. It made me tense because it was uncomfortable. It affected my emotions.

Then it would release, and I would hear noises. This happened over and over, every day. Now when I pray and fight the spirits, the constriction in this area opens up, and my insides make loud noises as the gas or whatever is released.

I think the constriction is in my intestines. My understanding is that the small intestine loops up under the ribs on the left. I’ve also felt pressure in what I think is my pancreas, also on the left, and of course I am very familiar with pressure and other sensations in my gallbladder and bile duct. I’ve had gallbladder issues, and I’ve learned what sensations involving my gallbladder mean. I know when a stone is moving out into the bile duct, and I know when there is pressure in the gallbladder itself.

I’m a healthy person, but I fight with little issues, and God showed me a lot of them involve blockages. The gallbladder is an obvious example. Stones and sludge block the flow of bile. I’ve also had problems with snoring and nighttime congestion, as if Satan were trying to cut off my air and suffocate me. I had a floater in one eye, right in the area where I focus, and it partially blocked my sight. I’ve had sebaceous cysts, which are caused by blocked follicles. I’ve had kidney stones, which are hard objects that block the flow of urine.

I believe illnesses often reflect our supernatural problems. If the heart is right, it’s harder for the enemy to afflict you. When your heart is wrong, the enemy can go before God, accuse you, and get permission to attack.

Psalm 127 says a man’s children are like arrows in a quiver, and they speak with the enemy in the gate. The body is like a house with a walled yard. It’s full of gates: eyes, ears, the mouth, and so on. If something is blocked against your will, someone else must be controlling a gate.

These days I’m fighting spirits of murder, antichrist, and church-worship. I’m trying to find out what else I have to fight and what I have to change in order to stop giving spirits the legal right to work in me.

I know claims like these sound crazy to unbelievers and Christians who, themselves, are influenced by antichrist spirits. Look at the Bible, though. Jesus fought demons all the time. If you’re a Christian, you have to believe in Satan and demons. If not, you think you know more than Jesus, and you’re worshiping a person you look down on. That’s not just error; it’s pride and rebellion. The Bible says God fights the proud and helps the humble.

An antichrist spirit will make you uncomfortable when you hear the name “Jesus” or any mention of demons. It may make you want to ridicule anyone who speaks of these things.

I’ve seen spirits, and I believe Jesus, so I’m not going to worry about whether people think I’m nuts. I think they’re nuts! I think they’re blind and deluded. I think they’re in denial. I think they live in complete defeat, with no free will and no hope of victory or peace.

I can’t let myself be contaminated with their antichrist mindset just so I can have the worthless, fleeting approval and admiration of slaves and the lost. When I do that, I’m the tail and not the head. I’m abdicating my responsibility to lead.

You have to lead on this earth. You have to lead other people, and you have to lead evil spirits. You’re on top or you’re on the bottom. You’re not neutral. That option doesn’t exist.

What I’m going through is like pregnancy. I feel like I’m getting ready to permanently expel foreign things that live inside me. I’m always reminded of the breakfast table scene in Alien. John Hurt’s character thought he was doing fine, and then he felt something moving around in him. His coworkers held him down on a table, and the thing inside him started pressing against his chest wall from inside. Then it burst out, killing him and going on to cause mischief for other people.

I feel like I’m in labor, only the things that will come out of me won’t be good.

When a filthy spirit leaves you, it feels wonderful. It’s draining, like finding out a painful lawsuit is over. You get the feeling you can finally rest.

Mainstream Christians should be casting spirits out and speaking defeat to them all day. We should be examining ourselves to find the behaviors and attitudes that give them the ability to hold onto us. Because we don’t do this, we are sick, weak, worried, and afraid, and people and spirits run roughshod over us. We are double agents, so we get limited help from the regime we should be loyal to.

It’s a very interesting process to go through. I’m very grateful for it. In the past, I had no knowledge and no help, so deliverance was impossible. Mainstream churches taught me that we should try to be good in our own strength, and it was assumed that God would do almost nothing to help us. It’s very nice to come out of ignorance and find help. It’s good to have a father who makes me stronger than bullies and too smart to listen to liars and swindlers. I couldn’t get victory on my own.

There are no Stars in Hell

God’s training program continues to unfold. Usually, it’s pleasant. Sometimes it’s not. It’s always profitable.

The two big themes right now seem to be correction (nothing new) and relief from demonic activity.

I ask God for a lot of good things, and a lot of them are things I expect to sting. I don’t think too much about the prospect of my own suffering when I pray. It will come soon enough whether I think about it or not, and it doesn’t matter anyway, because when you need something, you have to get it, whether or not it hurts. You wouldn’t reject an important operation because the doctor said you would have pain afterward.

For a long time, I’ve been asking God to help me accept criticism and admit fault. I don’t want to live on a high horse. I need all sorts of correction, and if I can’t bite the bullet and accept it, it won’t take effect. If I reject a correction, God will either give me something worse or give up, and I would like to avoid both of those things.

I have learned to try not to get on the high horse to start with, and that’s not so hard. What’s hard is admitting it when I get knocked off.

It’s somewhat difficult for me to perceive what’s wrong with me, but changing myself once I’m aware is even harder. In reality, it’s not possible. I can make little adjustments in myself, like an astronaut using retro rockets to make minor course corrections, but that’s about it. I created strongholds of bad behavior and attitudes in myself with the help of powerful spirits. Only another spirit can set me free.

Demons love pride. It’s their armor. They sit in you behind their armor, listening to arrows of correction as they bounce off. That’s bad, and now we have a problem that makes it worse. For the first time in Christian history, we have a culture that teaches us that pride is a virtue. We are taught to strive to be proud. Even as recently as 1960, we knew better. What happened to us? Was it the Sixties? We started celebrating pride, not realizing we were sealing demons inside us and helping them bring friends in.

Not long ago, I said something very ugly and unnecessary, and it hurt someone. Afterward, I was oblivious, as though I hadn’t done anything wrong. I can’t explain it. I had a supernatural blind spot. The victim was kind enough to let me know what I had done, and when I got that information, I was amazed. It was as though I were hearing about something someone else had done. I had done something I hate doing.

I felt very bad. I couldn’t eat. I ended up taking generic Imodium and Zantac so I could face lunch.

I was forgiven, but I don’t know if things will ever be quite the same. If not, I can’t complain. I don’t have anyone else to point the finger at. The best I can do is to keep working at it in prayer.

I’ve learned a few things as God has worked with me. I’ve learned that I can have an inquity I hate. To pull an example out of a hat, it’s possible for a person who hates drug addiction to be addicted and to have a demon infestation related to it. I’ve also learned I can have iniquities I don’t even know about.

The other day God told me something very surprising. He said I had a spirit of “church-worship.” That was not something I foresaw. As I understand it, he was talking about a spirit that wants me to worship pastors instead of God and put the success of churches above the success of the Holy Spirit.

I have no desire to have a position in a church or get heavily involved. I don’t want to sit and be taught doctrine any more. I would like to go just to be among Christians, but I don’t expect to learn much, and you would have to hold a gun on me to get me to accept a title. I have a desire to see megachurches dry up and vanish, and I long for a time in which people are so aligned with God they don’t need to build organizations and buy buildings. I feel a little sick when I see a church named after a human being, like “Andrew Wommack Ministries.” I don’t feel like a church-worship person. But I know what God said.

Maybe it’s something that lies dormant until it’s awakened.

I knew someone whose father was a Muslim. Presumably, there weren’t a lot of drinkers in the father’s line, because Muslims are not supposed to touch liquor. This individual drank a great deal, habitually. It was startling to watch this person put it away, night after night. I used to wonder if there was a dormant alcoholism curse in their family. With no alcohol around to expose it, an alcoholism curse might never manifest. I wonder if the church-worship spirit is like that.

I have fallen into church-worship in the past. I supported people who should never have been able to fool any intelligent person. A long time ago, I actually supported Robert Tilton, which is about as low as you can go.

I thought church-worship wasn’t a problem any more, but maybe it’s still there, hoping to jump out and take over.

This isn’t the first time God has surprised me like this. He told me I had a spirit of murder and a spirit of antichrist. I would never have figured those things out on my own. He was talking about things I truly hated. I didn’t think they could get me to cooperate, but now I know that I did. Murder manifested in rotten things I said and thought. The spirit of antichrist manifested in embarrassment I felt over being associated with “holy rollers.” Even when I overcame and ignored these things, they were still there.

I don’t know everything, but I know what spirits do inside me. They make my interior like hell. They make it a place of anger, fear, filth, and torment. When I listen to them, I let filth in. I think about people in a way which is like holding them captive in my mind and torturing them. I listen to spirits of fear, and I worry. I know I’m supposed to be like heaven in my heart. I’m supposed to be a place of love and peace. A temple.

This morning I was thinking about this, and I thought about the stories I’ve heard about hell. People who say they’ve seen it often say the individuals there had a burning desire to tell people on earth not to follow them.

That made me think about myself. I put a lot of nasty things in myself. I made myself like a little portable hell.

I have often thought my job was to help people become like me. By that I mean I thought I was supposed to help people get baptized with the Holy Spirit and hear from God and be corrected and repaired. In view of the hell analogy, I am forced to think that my actual job is to help people avoid becoming like me.

I screwed up very badly when I was in my twenties. God gave me the key to a successful life, and I discarded it. I didn’t maintain a prayer habit. I let all sorts of spirits in to rule me. I turned my inner world into a little hell. I should be helping younger people avoid that.

I know younger people who have serious problems, and some of them listen to me and look up to me. Sometimes I remind them that their lives should be better than mine. I tell them they’re doing much better than I was at their ages, and that when they’re as old as I am, they will be much better off than I am.

I have wondered what their future perceptions of me would be. Decades from now, when they look back and understand how badly I performed as a Christian, will they wish they had never known me? Will they feel contempt for me?

It doesn’t really matter. Other people’s esteem doesn’t put food on my table, and the objective isn’t to make people admire me. It’s to get them connected with God. Directly.

I no longer watch network TV, and I spend very little time watching reality TV. I watch old movies when I need empty distraction. Sometimes I look stars up to learn about them. Hedy Lamarr invented something that is supposedly the basis of wifi. Jimmy Stewart was an Air Force general. I remember little things like this, so I go to the Internet to find out more.

Lately Errol Flynn has been featured prominently on Turner Classic Movies. I didn’t really know who he was. While I was watching him, I thought about rumors I had heard. Some people think he collaborated with the Nazis. I looked him up.

Man, was I surprised. The Nazi business seems shaky, but I learned a lot of other things. He was vile. He had as much sex as humanly possible. He owned and lived in a hotel in Jamaica, and he used to get penicillin injections before his frequent visits to the local brothels because he thought it gave him 6 hours of immunity to syphilis. He drank constantly. He was tried for statutory rape. He had one-way mirrors and peepholes installed in his house so he could watch guests. He couldn’t serve in world War Two because he had VD and other health problems related to debauchery. He used opium and cocaine. He used to expose himself. He would sit down to dinner naked with his own mother.

Shortly before he died at the age of 50, he wrote an autobiography called, My Wicked, Wicked Ways. He was proud of himself. The book was so filthy, it had to be edited for the public.

His evil nature surprised me, but I was even more impressed by the contrast between his onscreen persona and the man behind it. In movies, he’s charming. He’s self-deprecating. He’s decent and unselfish. He makes you think he has to be somewhat like that in real life. No such luck!

I learned that the movie My Favorite Year is about him. Mel Brooks worked for Sid Caesar in the Fifties, and Flynn appeared on his show. Brooks had to babysit Flynn to make sure he showed up and did his job. The Peter O’Toole character in the movie is based on Flynn.

In the movie, the Brooks character shows O’Toole that deep in his dissipated heart, he really is the noble character he played. It’s a moment of redemption. In real life, nothing like that happened. Flynn was never redeemed. He dropped dead from a heart attack, happy in his sins, and the coroner found him so diseased and atrophied he compared him to an octogenarian.

It makes me think about the contrast between what I am and what I want people to think I am.

Last night I was watching some movie or other with the birds, and TCM showed the faces of a bunch of stars, zipping by the screen. TCM was celebrating them like Greeks lionizing the false gods of the pantheon. I thought about Flynn, and I thought about the other people I was seeing, many of whom were no better. I knew most of them were in hell.

People who go to hell don’t disappear. Everyone who has gone to hell is still there, suffering more than we can imagine. They’re all conscious right now.

It seemed like a cruel joke. These people were in hell, crying in agony, wishing they could tell people not to imitate them, and here Satan was, using images of their happy faces to make people admire them and want to be like them. Think how you would feel, in hell with maggots eating your bones, looking up and seeing naive human beings staring at your image and wanting to pattern themselves after you.

The world is very perverse. It’s full of deception and traps, and it’s a huge mistake to take it at face value and get caught up in the whirlpool.

Trusting human beings too much is very dangerous.

All of this knowledge is good. It tastes harsh, but the effect is worth it.

I hope you won’t make too much of bad examples. There is only one true way, and he ascended 2000 years ago.

Helpful Stuff Straight From the Source

I said I was going to pass on things God said to me, so here I am with new material.

The first one came on March 25, and I already wrote it here as part of a blog post: “Men are supposed to be stable and level-headed.” God’s plan for couples is for men to lead and women to cooperate and support. Women are less stable than men. A woman is a different person every week. Men are pretty much the same every day, and we are supposed to function as anchors.

Men from sick matriarchal cultures tend to be emotional and unreliable. Men from matriarchal cultures can’t be relied on, so the women have babies out of wedlock and turn the government into their husband.

A husband should be led by God. Compared to a man, God is more stable. God leads and steadies the man, and the man leads and steadies the wife. This is the pipe through which blessings are supposed to flow.

Women should marry up, spiritually. Women want men who are smarter and more reliable than they are. If a woman marries the wrong man, she may end up raising him along with the other kids. She may end up in a stronghold from which she can never escape.

A man should not be a burden to a woman. He should pull his own weight, especially with God. He should be able to have a conversation on her intellectual level. Women get tired of being around kids all day. I assume a woman doesn’t want to have another kid walk through the door in the evening. They must look forward to a different kind of interaction.

Most people don’t know God, and they choose spouses very badly. Only God knows which shoe fits. When you marry the wrong person, you are yoked in a very real sense. Oxen can’t get out of a yoke, and marriage and kids are hard to get away from. I’ve seen people struggle with carnal spouses. It’s not good at all. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Having kids out of wedlock is damaging whether the mother marries or not. If she marries, she may get a man who will always be a drain. If she doesn’t, she will have kids with no male around to keep them in line and make sure they treat her well. The boys may rebel, or they may become effeminate and weak.

I know God will work with people who admit fault, to bring about the best possible outcomes. But they have to repent. You can’t stay in an ungodly relationship, doing what got you into trouble the first time around, and expect much. Not if you know better. That’s not repentance.

The next thing I wrote down is, “Thank you for wanting to know me.” People who want to avoid spiritual responsibility like to say we are all God’s children, but the Bible says otherwise. Most people never know God until they die, are never transformed by him, and end up in hell. Jesus said he chooses people. We think we choose him, but that’s not the whole picture. I’m glad God saw fit to select me and work on me.

Months ago, I heard this: “My father and mother abandoned me.” I need a replacement, and no new parents are available except for God. Only he can undo the effects of a bad upbringing and turn me into something useful.

Next thing: “I defiled myself, and I knew better.” Can’t argue with that. God told me about prayer in tongues, and I turned away and sinned about as much as possible. I let every available demon move in and vandalize me. I’m glad I didn’t compound my misfortune by marrying an atheist or a Catholic santera or some other contrary woman who would have been harder to get rid of than demons. You can cast a demon out, but women don’t leave that easily.

The next two things God told me are nearly identical. About 10 days ago, God gave me this: “I am God’s temple.” Today he gave me, “I am the temple of the Lord.” I must not have been listening the first time.

This morning I was thinking about the things I have put inside myself over the years. If I really thought of myself as a temple, I wouldn’t have brought evil things in. Dirty movies, black humor, pornography and willful thoughts about sex, cruelty, covetousness, drunkenness, prolonged anger…who would bring things like this into a church? Yet I brought them into myself.

We are tempted all the time. Satan puts little seeds in front of us and tries to get them to take them inside and water them. I have a new, heartfelt understanding of the need to burn them in the doorway while he watches.

The Bible says the children of a righteous man speak with the enemy at the gate, not in the living room.

We don’t get healed. Our enemies walk all over us and laugh. We experience debt and poverty. We have bad marriages or no marriages at all. We experience sterility. We fail in our careers in spite of tithing and praying. We stay addicted. We stay fat. We remain trapped in cities where Christians don’t belong. We can’t get our problems fixed. Then we complain to God, as if he owed us. Meanwhile, we are filling his temples with sewage. We sign contracts with demons, giving them power over us, and then we want God to break the leases.

Our society is extremely sick. We are blind. The things we consider normal and acceptable are poisonous and outrageous. There are Christians who support Caitlyn Jenner and get angry at people who say he’s a man. There are Christians who cut up and tattoo their bodies, thinking they do it for Jesus. There are Christians who fornicate every day and still go to church; many are pastors and volunteers.

Still we wonder why God doesn’t help us.

In the Bible, God talks about making Baal’s temple into an outhouse. Of course he does. We make ourselves into the enemy’s temples, and we let the enemy fill us with excrement and garbage. There is always symmetry in the supernatural.

God turned Molech’s place of worship into Jerusalem’s city dump, and it’s where Judas hanged himself.

You don’t have to earn God’s help, but you do have to stop spitting in his face every day.

Mary Kay Baxter claims she visited hell. She said she saw demons that were embedded in the walls with only their upper parts free. I thought of that today. We have demons we can’t cast out. Maybe they can’t get out because they’re embedded in us. We give them the right to stay. Maybe we’re so good at embedding them, they can’t leave even if they want to.

We make our hearts like the interior of hell, so there must be a lot of unexpected similarities.

When we finally understand what Christianity is supposed to be, we are going to be very surprised, because we are extremely deceived right now. The life of a righteous person in 2018 is probably worse than the life of a prostitute was in 1700.

I hope these things are useful to you. I will update you from time to time.

Pitch In

My friend Alonzo texted from Orlando today. His wife Teri is in the hospital for tests, and she may need surgery. I don’t have details. He asked for prayer.

My former church let the head deacon down when he had breast cancer. They thought faith was all that mattered. They didn’t tell him he needed to confront the iniquities that gave demons the right to harm him, so he never repented, and he died.

I am speaking defeat to the spirits that work in Teri to make her ill and to cause iniquities that give illness protection. I am asking God to heal her and help her repent of anything that is in his way. I am asking him to send others to pray and guide and bring healing. I would appreciate it if people would join in. Thanks.

Plus New Repentance

I did not go to church today. Maybe it will eventually happen. I watched a few Tom Fischer videos.

This morning I woke up while it was dark, and I felt tense. I have been pretty relaxed lately, so I knew something was up. I started praying, and I felt God was telling me to think about pride and hypocrisy. I had a long prayer session about these things. I examined areas in which I demanded more from other people than I did from myself (hypocrisy), and I considered the difficulty of being honest with God about it (pride).

God didn’t decide to help me because I was a wonderful person. He did it because he was full of love and willing to forgive and work with a person who was headed for hell, and I am still less than wonderful I have to keep that in mind when I deal with other people.

I saw that Fischer had a video about hypocrisy and self-righteousness, and I watched it. Then I decided to watch his latest videos. He has been visiting Florida, and I wondered if he might include Marion County in his itinerary.

A few days back, he uploaded a video from West Palm Beach. I decided to watch. There were several other Christians ministering with him. I noticed that one of them looked like someone I knew.

It WAS someone I knew.

Fischer was out on the street evangelizing with my friend Dave.

Dave used to go to my Saturday prayer group, which was led by the overseer of all the volunteers from Trinity Church. Dave wasn’t a Trinity guy. As I recall, his wife had serious reservations about Trinity. He attended the prayer group anyway.

He brought a friend named Stu. Stu’s wife was Jewish, and she was an atheist. Jewish religious authorities say you can’t be a Jewish Christian, but you can be a Jewish atheist, Satanist, Muslim, or Buddhist. Go figure. You can probably be a Jewish Jehovah’s Witness, since they don’t worship Jesus. I don’t know.

Stu’s wife would not let him have a Bible. I’m not clear on how a wife can prevent a man from having a Bible, but some marriages are like that. He took foil and used it to make a book cover so she would’t know what he was reading.

She took him to a Jewish psychiatrist who was also an atheist. She believed Christianity was a mental illness, and the psychiatrist agreed to treat him for it.

There are a lot of people trying to get laws passed, prohibiting doctors from trying to get people delivered from homosexuality, but it’s legal to try to cure Christianity.

I haven’t seen Dave or Stu in quite some time. I sent Dave a text today because I realized he did not have my new number.

I can’t tell you how strange this is. How many Christians are there in South Florida? Hundreds of thousands, probably, omitting the backsliders. How many do I know? Maybe two hundred? How likely is it that one who was in my cell contacts would pop up in a Youtube video I chose to watch?

Dave is an interesting guy. To say he’s enthusiastic is an understatement. The prayer group met at a Denny’s in Broward County, and we used to talk in the parking lot after it was over. Christians do that. You will see the serious ones standing in the parking lot after church for half an hour.

One thing I learned about Dave was that if he started talking to me, I had to move into the shade quickly. I burn easily, and Dave is not a person who has short conversations about God.

Dave wasn’t a preacher. He was an elevator repairman. I can’t even guess how he hooked up with Tom Fischer. It’s not like he’s a prominent healing evangelist any traveling preacher would expect to meet. He’s obscure.

It’s neat when God does things like this.

Another man appeared in the video, and it’s not totally clear, but it looks like God told him Tom’s wife’s name. Judge for yourself.

Regarding my own inner issues, I have to keep digging. I was such a mess by the time I turned back to God, there was a huge backlog of deferred maintenance. It’s good to have God continue to expose stuff to me.

I don’t know what will happen next with Tom Fischer. Maybe I’ll run into him at Tractor Supply.

Rail Installed

I’m sitting here doing my gun thing.

My Picatinny rail arrived, and I stuck it on the new rifle. I attached the night scope to it. It looks fine, but the eye relief is a bit excessive. I expect to have to lean forward a bit to shoot. It’s not good to have tension anywhere in your body when you shoot, but I believe this is the best I’ll be able to do without some kind of custom rail or adaptor.

The word “Picatinny” is capitalized. A place called the Picatinny Arsenal was important to its adoption. The arsenal is in New Jersey. Things could be worse. It could have been the Piscataway rail. New Jersey place names are awful. They sound like diseases that make you vomit.

I’ve been thinking about my long-range options. I can’t believe how lucky blessed I am to have this property. I should be able to shoot 400 yards with no problems at all. I could go longer if I had another berm.

“But why not go to a range? You live in gun country. There must be long-distance ranges all around you.”

No.

This is why I count myself even more blessed than I used to.

I assumed there would be all sorts of shooting options up here, because northern Florida is about as red as Wyoming. I have discovered that this is not the case. I can only find three outdoor ranges in this county, and they’re pretty sad. The options in Miami are actually better.

One is a private club that only goes to 100 yards, and it has 150-member cap. There’s a waiting list. You can’t join until someone dies.

Which probably happens a lot. I think I have the only car in the county without a handicapped permit and a mobility scooter rack.

I might have to wait as long as a week.

There’s another private club which has lanes up to 50 yards long. That’s all you get. What good is that? I’ve seen people shoot pistols that far.

The final option is the public range operated by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission. “Operated” is a very loose way of describing it. It’s unsupervised.

How would you like to go to an unsupervised gun range? No range officers. No one using a P.A. system to tell people the line is hot. No one to shout at idiots walking around with their rifles pointed at other visitors. You just get out of your pickup and start blasting. Presumably, there is no prohibition on drinking beer.

Cherry on the sundae: the limit is 100 yards.

I’ll resummarize my own situation: 400 yards. Berm. No other shooters. Handguns allowed. Rifles allowed. Hours unrestricted.

It’s phenomenal.

Someone recommended I try a Project Appleseed event. I know little about Project Appleseed, but it’s an organization that claims to teach marksmanship. I get the feeling there is some paranoia associated with it. I don’t mean my healthy Christian paranoia, which contemplates the necessity of shooting hordes of entitlement junkies who will one day descend on rural America but does not contemplate shooting federal agents. When I read up on Project Appleseed, a little voice in the back of my head whispers “Ruby Ridge.” But even if they’re extreme, they are probably people I can get along with, and they might be able to help me shoot better.

I read that they teach history at the events and talk about taking back America.

There will be an event less than 40 miles from here this month. I might give it a shot. It’s hard to get away from my dad for a two-day event that involves a hotel stay, but if it’s less than an hour away, I should be able to make the commute from my house and return here at night.

I’m very glad God put me on an unusual property where I can shoot pretty freely. When I’m even farther in the sticks, on a larger property with some hills, I’ll be unrestrained. I’ll shoot a howitzer if I want.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll finally try the .204 Ruger. Should be a blast. Then eventually I’ll get to work on the .308 and a 6.5 Swedish.

I Don’t Need a Nightlight

For years, I had a problem with my pillows lighting up at night. I would roll over or whatever, and little green spots would light up all over the pillow. It was the craziest thing.

I found I could reproduce the lights by crumpling and slapping the pillows.

Thought they were some kind of static electricity, but in my experience, static electricity moves quickly when you discharge it. You get a brief spark and then nothing. The green lights were usually quick, but I remember seeing one dissipate slowly over maybe half a second.

I used to wonder about it. Was it some kind of electrical thing I didn’t understand, or was it some sort of Holy Spirit residue, from praying with my head on the pillows?

Here in my new home, I am still having the problem. I rolled over in bed the other day, and my hand brushed against the contoured sheet. As my fingertips dragged over it, little light trails followed them. They were bright bluish white. They were maybe half an inch long.

You really notice things like that in the middle of the night in a dark room.

Some day I want an explanation for this. When you’ve had experiences you know were supernatural, it’s easy to give up on natural explanations and attribute paranormal causes to things that are really just physical. No one wants to be the guy who saw a goose fly past his window and told people it was the Holy Spirit.

When I think about this, I always think about Ed Harris as John Glenn in The Right Stuff, hollering, “Get out of here, you gadgets!” at a bunch of sparks coming off of his capsule.

Are You Sure You’re Sure?

It’s remarkable how many things I “believe” but don’t really believe.

Of course, I am contradicting myself on a superficial level, but receptive people already understand, without my having to explain. Which I will.

Consider the times I prayed to be healed and then received miraculous healing. While I was praying and commanding my body to be healed, I believed God would heal me. Had I not, I wouldn’t have prayed, right? But I didn’t believe completely, in every corner of my heart. When the healings came, there was still some surprise.

People are fuzzy thinkers and fuzzy believers. When we reason, we aren’t afraid to discard things that appear to be facts, when they conflict with other evidence, our desires, our emotions, and our intuition. Surprisingly, fuzzy logic often leads to the better conclusions than non-fuzzy logic. When it comes to faith, we can hold a mixture of belief and unbelief.

It can be frustrating to deal with folks who think the human mind takes a binary approach to thought and feeling. The world is full of individuals who can’t tolerate the notion that a person can think or feel two ways about something at the same time. It should be very obvious that human beings have internal conflicts, but many of us look at the mind and heart the way engineers look at toasters, and they draw simplistic, half-baked conclusions about the way we work, the way children do.

I guess I started this blog entry with a digression, but I don’t care.

Today I looked at Youtube over breakfast. I wanted to watch some Christian material. I chose Tom Fischer; I’ve been watching a lot of other people, and today I felt like it was his turn.

I saw a video labeled “Street teaching with Tom Fischer-evil spirits” [sic], and I was drawn to it. I have been the site of an internal battle lately, between evil spirits on one side and the Holy Spirit and me on the other. From watching Fischer’s other videos, I knew he was likely to have something important and USEFUL to say.

About 97% of the time, preachers tell us things that are useLESS or counterproductive. Actually, useless and counterproductive are synonyms when it comes to religion. Neutrality doesn’t exist.

I am only interested in teaching I can put to work. Keep the fables, traditions, and feel-good stories to yourself. If powerful material is meat and less powerful material is milk, the slop most preachers serve is colored water and valium.

A few years back, God showed me interesting things about evil spirits. He showed me that demons are actually dead human beings. You can see it in the book of Enoch, and there is also evidence in Genesis. Rebellious angels married women and reproduced with them, and they gave rise to a race of vile beings that were stronger than ordinary humans. At least some were giants. They abused and dominated people, and they also ate them.

Am I making a stretch when I call them human? I doubt it. Jesus was the result of a spirit/human coupling, and he was human. In any case, demons are our dead brothers and sisters, and they really hate us. They were going to run the world and either destroy us entirely or keep us around as slaves and food. We got it all, with eternal life in heaven to follow, and they got nothing but the promise of eternity in flames.

Supernaturally, we are the 1%.

I’m not saying we make up 1% of the beings that have lived on earth. I’m saying we’re privileged, like the mythical 1% liberals love to hate. Heard of white privilege? We have human privilege. Among humans, God’s children are even more privileged.

The Bible is all about genocide. Churches don’t get that. The earth contains two races: God’s children and the children of darkness. God and Satan battle to exterminate each other’s seed and put their own seed in charge. Read Joshua.

God said Noah was “perfect in his generations.” I take that to mean he had no demon blood. Why? For one thing, the phrase makes no sense otherwise. It doesn’t mean he was righteous, because had that been the case, God would have said, “Noah was righteous.” The bit about “in his generations” makes no sense in that context, but if you take it to mean the generations that gave rise to him were untainted, it all comes together.

Genesis lists Noah’s ancestors carefully. Why do that if you’re not proving a point? His great-grandfather was Enoch, who was so righteous God removed him from the earth. His grandfather was Methuselah, who was so righteous God waited for his death before sending the flood. You won’t see Og the giant in the list.

God flooded the earth to kill off the seed of the angels, and he chose a pure male to repopulate the earth.

The dead children of the angels are stuck here. At least some of them are. Jewish legend says the earth was cleansed of them, and that Satan persuaded God to release 10% to tempt mankind. Mary Baxter, who claims she visited hell, says there are beings partially embedded in the walls there. They can’t come here.

Like whorish girls throwing themselves at rock stars, women had sex with angels, so now we have disembodied demons that cause disease, murder, perversion, mental illness, and all sorts of iniquities.

No man taught me these things. I read Enoch, I read the Bible, I prayed in tongues every day, and things fell together in my mind.

This is what I “believe.” I think God showed it to me. But my faith in what I believe is not perfect. I like having it confirmed by other sources. It proves I’m not making things up.

Fischer’s video was made in 2012. I don’t recall when my understanding of the origin of demons came to me, but it was at around that time. I was going to Trinity Church, which I attended from 2008 until early 2012. I had no idea who Tom Fisher was, and he still has no idea I exist. We didn’t conspire or listen to the same preachers.

If you watch the video, you will see that he says pretty much the same things I say. He says demons are the spirits of giants. He mentions Enoch. That’s confirmation. If there were people teaching these things on TV, and we both watched those people, or if we had seen similar teaching on the web, you could say we drank someone else’s Kool-Aid. That’s not what happened.

He says things I don’t say. He says people have found bones from the giants all over the world. I have never heard anything about that, and to say that I doubt it would be an understatement. I don’t think we’ve found grossly outsize bones that appeared to be humanoid. Sometimes stories and pictures go around the web, using fossils to prove the Bible is true, but they are generally fraudulent.

It’s not unusual for Christians to be fooled by fake news or bogus science.

The Internet is so weird. I started thinking about giants, and I remembered a famous discovery: the Holly Creek giant. The story of the giant says that in 1965, man named Kenneth White found a huge skeleton buried under a cliff in the area of Kentucky known as Holly Creek. When the bones were put together, they measured almost 9 feet in length. The skull had slits instead of round eye sockets, and it was about 30 inches in circumference. White later reburied the bones, and of course, there are no photos, and no one has dug it up to prove the story’s veracity.

My mother was born on Holly Creek. It’s a tiny place. Not even a town. If Kenneth White exists, she probably knew him. I knew an Artie White and a Stan White, from the next county to the west.

I looked around to find evidence supporting or refuting the story, and I came across the obituary of my grandfather’s buddy Earl Napier. I wasn’t looking for it. The name showed up in Google results.

I had wondered what happened to Earl. He died in a hospital in Lexington in 2010. Now I know.

I remember the night Earl punched out a guy named Gary at the Dixieland Lounge in Winchester, where I worked the door. Gary called him a dirty name, and Earl Punched him immediately, right in the mouth. I would say Earl, a former boxer, was 5’7″ tall, and Gary was about 6’6″. Gary was upset afterward because Earl punched him without any warning. I think he felt a man was obligated to respond to a bar challenge orally before attacking. It was a matter of etiquette.

Earl did okay against his giant.

Sometimes I wonder if the dinosaurs were demons. With their outrageous physical adornments, dimensions, and accessories, they remind me of the demon-controlled people who pierce themselves, split their tongues, cover themselves with tattoos, put fake horns under their skin, and so on. God made people look fairly uniform and boring, and he banned body modification under Moses, but Satan is driven by pride and a craving for attention, so his children look for ways to sensationalize their flesh.

Imagine what would happen if a doctor in San Francisco got complete control over people’s genes, and he could turn you into anything you wanted. Imagine the crazy competition that would ensue. Giants. Huge birds. Creatures from Avatar, with upgrades. It would be something to see. It would be like gays competing to get the most attention with their costumes, in parades like the one they have every year in Key West on Halloween.

If God allows us to live long enough, one day we’ll have that kind of control over our flesh, and the excesses will be astounding. Antlers. Fins. Whatever you want.

Enoch said God killed the giants because they were giants in the flesh but not the spirit. That makes complete sense. Satan is all about peaking early, and so are his children. It makes sense that they would be spectacular on earth but pathetic in the afterlife. Look at his famous human children. Beyonce. Madonna. Elvis. Jeff Bezos. Bill Gates. The living ones are very impressive right now, but one second after they die, they will be pitiable, unless they repent.

Satan is like “Peaked in High School Rob Lowe.”

There are dinosaurs whose bodies don’t seem to make sense. What possible evolutionary advantage can there be, on land, to weighing 70 tons? Think of the crazy structures dinosaurs had. Spinosaurus had a huge fin on its back, which would have hindered its movement. Tyrannosaurus had front legs that were too small to reach its mouth or the ground, and scientists can’t figure out how they could have evolved. There were dinosaurs with huge, inexplicable, inconvenient structures on their heads. If you look for physical justifications for these things, they are hard to explain, but if you consider what body modifiers would do if they could change their DNA, they look logical.

I know it doesn’t make sense. We date things using radioactivity, and the dates say dinosaurs disappeared about 60 million years ago. It’s just a funny thought.

I do wonder if our dating techniques are reliable. God and spirits can change the physical world’s properties. For example, there was no rain until Noah’s time. God could change a constant here and a law there and leave us very confused. He held the earth still in the sky for Joshua. He can do whatever he wants.

Why God would allow us to have a misleading fossil record is beyond me, but it’s something I think about. I know God is real; he has proved it over and over. That gives me a firm premise, so the things I see in the physical world, by comparison, are not reliable.

Genesis tells us many things happened, but there are many possibilities it does not mention and doesn’t exclude. We don’t know if the six days of creation were consecutive. It’s not clear whether the days were 24-hour earth days, longer days in an earth that turned more slowly, or longer days measured by heaven’s standards. We don’t know if creatures existed before those named in the creation story.

When I was a kid and I awoke and saw demons crawling on the walls, floor, ceiling, and bed, they appeared to be reptiles and bugs. The reptiles weren’t so large they would be considered unusual on this planet, but the bugs were up to a couple of feet long.

There are fossils of three-foot-long centipedes and an eight-foot millipede as wide as a bathroom scale. Paleontologists have also discovered a dragonfly 17 inches long. There was a two-foot scorpion.

I don’t know how to explain the fossil record, but I have proof that God is real, so it doesn’t matter. Somehow or other, the facts will reconcile when they are known.

Tom Fischer says it’s harder to get demons out of Christians than unbelievers, because Christians know better than to let them in. We allow them in through deliberate sin, and then we hold onto them through denial. We don’t confess or repent, so God allows them to stay. When they are allowed to stay, they corrupt our hearts and give us physical ailments. If we can get rid of them, the iniquities and ailments will leave.

I’ve been confessing and repenting like crazy since I saw Fischer talk about these things in other videos.

I can tell God is destroying the influence spirits have on me. Sometimes I feel things leave. My mind is much quieter than it was a month ago. I think fewer invisible things are speaking to me. My desires are changing suddenly, too.

Fischer and I agree on something else: the eradication of the giants in the promised land was shown to us to symbolize our own obligation to drive demons out of ourselves. No one taught me that. Moses sent spies into the promised land, and when they returned, they said the people who lived there were too strong, and some were giants. Ten spies wanted to quit, and God destroyed them and a bunch of other people with a plague. Two–Joshua and Caleb–had faith and wanted to keep fighting. They were preserved and rewarded with land.

Fischer is the only person other than myself whom I have heard saying these things.

A while back, God told me I was one of many, and he was not kidding. I don’t have to feel proud or special. God is saying the same things to many people. I’m just disconnected from them, as Elijah was disconnected from the 7000 people who had not bent the knee to Baal. God has an army tied together by the Holy Spirit. It’s not something I imagined.

Unfortunately, that army has almost zero influence in organized churches.

Compare modern humans to the 10 weak spies. We are defeated by all sorts of spirits. We give up in the face of cancer, addiction, mental illnesses of all types, blindness, allergies, arthritis, infertility, homosexuality, obesity, and a host of other ills. The vast majority of addicts will die addicts, even with the best help available. Medicine has never cured a cold or the flu.

Lately we’ve adapted by declaring that our demon-driven problems are actually virtues. Fat women are “curvy.” The retarded are “differently abled” or whatever the euphemism of the week calls them. Homosexuality, in which men use highly specialized reproductive organs to deposit reproductive fluid in orifices in which reproduction cannot occur, is considered normal. We glorify cripples instead of healing them. We have a “new normal” attitude toward these things, and worse, we treat people who offer hope like child molesters and rapists. A Christian who tries to help a homosexual will get about the same treatment as a Nazi.

Healing and other types of deliverance have been available, free of charge, for 2000 years, and we have turned away, and we have persecuted those who could help us, because we’re afraid to believe.

I’m going to keep going forward. If I drop dead while trusting God, so be it. I will eventually drop dead anyway, and I don’t have that many years left. What difference does it make? The people who are against me only have a few years to peck at me. After that, I will be beyond their reach and out of the way of all harm.

If you think it would be helpful to you, take a look at the video. It certainly helped me.

Another Youtube Resource

I got up today and watched healing Youtubes over breakfast. Excellent way to start the day. Much better than political blogging or driving off to an office to help people sue each other.

I’ve been writing a lot about a man named Tom Fischer. He quit working and began traveling the world, healing people. He also helps them receive salvation and the baptism with the Holy Spirit. He helps people start praying in tongues. Sometimes he teaches.

I embedded a few of his videos here. I felt he was confirming a notion God gave me a few years ago. I believe God is killing off organized churches. I believe the church era is ending. Churches are human organizations, and Satan is very good at taking those over. He can’t deal with independent individuals connected to God by the Holy Spirit. He’s too small and weak. He doesn’t have the resources.

Through Tom Fischer, I found other people doing the same thing on Youtube.

The other day, reader Steve commented, saying a guy named Tom Loud was doing it. Today I took a look. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but Tom Loud knows Tom Fischer.

It appears that there is an informal network of Holy Spirit Youtube healers out there. They know each other. Sometimes they visit each other and make videos together.

It’s great, the way it works. These people can’t be controlled by preachers.

What if Tom Fischer gets a great revelation, and he talks about it on his channel, and fellow Youtube healer Doug Collins gets out of line and disagrees? He can’t do anything to Fischer. He can’t tell him he’s expelled from the church. He can’t take away his position or keep him away from people. All he can do is sit and fume, ineffectually, while Fischer obeys God. He can’t spend Tom’s money on vacations and spas, either. That’s a very powerful church model.

I have no reason to think Doug Collins would do any of that. I picked his name because it was one I knew.

Think how different the Catholic Church is, to pick an extreme example. They can excommunicate you if you stand up for God. Excommunication includes damnation.

At least they can’t torture people to death any more.

My old pastors had the power to separate me from my friends (people I thought were friends). They could keep me from speaking in front of the church. They could take away my offices. Good luck trying that now. I can only say that to Trinity Church, because New Dawn Ministries no longer exists.

Maybe we finally have a viral church. I don’t mean a church that spreads via the Internet. I mean a church that spreads like a virus, from ordinary person to ordinary person. That would be nice. Selfish, attention-whore Preachers are like fat ticks and leeches that need to be sliced off. They are completely unnecessary.

Musings from Patmos

It’s nice when I find out I’ve gotten a harvest from a seed I’ve sown (or unsown). It happened today. I got rid of Facebook a while ago, and today I’m very glad I did. Winnie Mandela just died, and I’m glad I’m not seeing mournful, respectful Facebook posts from people I know.

Winnie Mandela was a sadistic woman who ran a murder gang. She openly endorsed “necklacing.” In South Africa, a “necklace” is a tire with gasoline poured over it. You force it down over a person’s trunk and arms, and then you light it. The victim can’t use his arms, so he is trapped while the tire burns.

Tires burn for a very long time, and they are hard to put out, especially when a gang of people prevents anyone from trying. A person trapped in a burning tire roasts alive, thrashing and screaming in agony. Winnie Mandela was in favor of this. In 1986, she said, “With our boxes of matches and our necklaces we shall liberate this country.”

Winnie Mandela ran a mob that lynched black people, but many black people admire her.

If I still had a Facebook account, I would be tempted to log in and see what my old friends were saying. I know a lot of people who don’t hear from the Holy Spirit. They accept the BLM line without reservation. Some supported Bernie Sanders in 2016. The rest supported Hillary Clinton. They like to go to church and dance and sing, but it’s all make-believe. Church is just a nightclub to them. A place to socialize and be seen and admired.

I don’t care what your political opponents do to your country; if you believe in burning them alive, you serve Satan. Civilized people don’t do things like that. The worst offenders among the men who created and ran the Nazi death camps got trials and humane hangings which caused death instantly. John Gacy was executed painlessly with drugs. Human beings were created in the image of God. There are certain things you just don’t do to them. Not if you have a choice.

Imagine the torments Satan has thought up for this lady. People who claim to have seen hell say Satan tailors the punishment to fit the crime, so the damned experience magnified versions of the things they did to others here on earth.

I am glad I don’t have to deal with the disheartening spectacle of rebellious people praising Winnie Mandela.

On a related note, I’ve been thinking about the kindness God showed me when he got me out of toxic churches and away from Miami.

Charismatics in South Florida are completely out of line with the Holy Spirit. They’re caught up in leftist identity politics. As for Miamians in general, they are generally very weak Christians, atheists, or demon worshipers. Cubans and other island people sacrifice goats and chickens to demons in Miami. There are “churches” where these sacrifices are performed legally. They got the United States Supreme Court to side with them when local officials tried to ban their practices.

I have seen some crazy things in Miami. I volunteered at a church where voodoo practitioners showed up at night uninvited, to light candles and speak curses. We found a voodoo doll on the property, with a big red hole where its heart should have been.

The doll worked. The people who formed the believing heart of the church were driven out by the pastors.

I used to have a photo of that doll stored in a phone. It disappeared.

People say you can’t curse a Christian, so how can I claim a voodoo doll worked? Think of the things that have happened to Christians and ask yourself if they’re really immune to curses. You can’t curse someone who walks with God, but how many Christians fit that description? The voodoo buffs beat the Wilkerson family (the people whose corporation owns Trinity Church). Real devil worshipers will beat insincere Christians every time. That also goes for ignorant Christians. It’s hard to think of a charismatic pastor who has served as long and learned less than Rich Wilkerson.

I looked over a series of blog posts I wrote during the final weeks of my relationship with New Dawn Ministries, the extinct church I belonged to until 2015. I saw that I had misremembered a few things. For example, I thought I was a deacon and armorbearer when I left. That’s not exactly true. A few weeks before I was given notice that I was unwelcome, I quit serving. Officially, I was “taking a break,” not quitting, but I never served again.

The day I stopped serving is when I started healing. It was as if breath returned to my lungs.

Before I quit, I had been coming to church at around 8:00 a.m. I helped get things ready. I participated in the volunteer prayer session, which the pastors and “house prophet” often skipped. I sat around a lot. The pastors and “prophet” often showed up late, but we were required to arrive too early. In order to accommodate my morning prayer routine, I had to get up between 5 and 6 a.m. The services usually ran until early afternoon. Sometimes they were longer. On some occasions, they kept going because God was moving. A lot of the time, it was because the pastor wanted to talk.

It was a burden, and burdens are what Jesus said he would take away from us.

The time of the volunteers was wasted, as though it had no value. We had to spend too much time at church, and on top of that, we were serving a man and woman who were undermining everything we did. The pastors were killing the church with painfully loud music and services that went on forever. We were on a treadmill. In fact, one day while I was sitting in church, I heard God say, “Stay on the treadmill.” I wrote it down. He wasn’t giving an order. He was summarizing the sermon. He was telling me we were going nowhere, and that the pastor was commanding us to continue doing things that did not work. The river was supposed to be carrying us forward, but we were trapped in an eddy.

When I quit serving, I felt like I had put down a huge barbell. I started coming to church at 10:30 and leaving when I thought it was appropriate. I didn’t have to stand outside and open the door for people. I didn’t have to go to early-morning volunteer meetings and be chastised for not giving the pastor enough money for his birthday, or for not honoring his marijuana-promoting, disrespectful son. I didn’t have to listen to his out-of-order wife. I didn’t have to put up with her writing things like “PLEASE DELETE THIS POST!!!” when I said things on Facebook.

The Jezebel spirit is real. A friend of mine thinks Satan is effeminate, and I think he’s right. Satan acts like a jilted first wife or a bitter ex-girlfriend, and he does marvelous things through overbearing, masculine women and effeminate or lazy men. God cursed Adam with curses that reflected Adam’s behavior toward him. One of the curses was that his wife would seek to control him.

When you reject a controlling woman, she doesn’t just seek to reconstruct her own life. She devotes her time to making you suffer. Satan is like that. He lived close to the throne, clothed in glory that came from God, like an arrogant wife wearing clothes her husband paid for. God has a new “wife” now. He has the body of Christ. No ex can stand a new wife who is prettier and more supportive. No ex can stand to see a doting ex-husband giving beautiful things to his new wife or raising kids with her. No wonder Satan’s only pleasure comes from making us suffer.

There is no way I could go back to that kind of life. Some ex-convicts say they would rather die than go back to prison. I know the feeling. That’s how I feel about fake churches and South Florida. When God frees you from a slave master who destroys your dignity, the thought of going back is too vile to contemplate.

I loved the freedom I had after I quit. If the pastors felt this way or that about something, it wasn’t my problem. I didn’t have to listen to them. If they came up with a hopeless project God clearly wasn’t behind, I didn’t have to get involved.

I remember the pastor saying we had to give more money, because he wanted a new building. I had started giving LESS money, and I was very happy about it. I didn’t do as he asked.

His brother-in-law started an orphanage in Haiti. This was a guy with a history of failed church projects, and he was involving desperate kids in this one. Suddenly his tendency to fail was dangerous.

I didn’t touch it. There were better people running orphanages already, and sending money to proven winners seemed like the way to go. God doesn’t back failure. He takes from those who lack and gives to those who already have. Remember him saying that? He blesses people who are capable of receiving blessings.

The pastor’s brother-in-law couldn’t raise money to get a new building. He failed. He also failed when he tried to increase church membership. He failed when he tried to get a men’s ministry off the ground. With the creation of the orphanage campaign, we were supposed to trust him with the welfare of fragile children.

Not possible.

He also failed when he tried to rally the troops after the pastor was arrested. He accused them of “running.” There was no way they could continue to follow the pastor, and it should have been obvious.

They had some kind of fundraising banquet which was disastrous. People said the food was extremely bad. I didn’t go. I wasn’t A victim any more. Also nice: I no longer had to contribute to birthday collections for the pastors or the many “pastor appreciation day” collections the church demanded. It was beautiful.

I was tired of photos of the pastors being massaged and pampered at our expense. I can understand doing something nice occasionally for tired servants who work hard, but our pastors were very lazy. They only opened the church for services. The rest of the week, it was closed, and they had lives of leisure.

The best thing about the change was that I didn’t answer to the pastors or “prophet” any more. If I felt like saying this or that about God, I said it. I said it, publicly or privately, as I felt moved by the Spirit. There was nothing they could do. I could take down the prosperity gospel. I could debunk the feel-good gospel.

They were conspiring about me behind my back, and they gave a close friend the assignment of spying on me (for which she later apologized), but I was unaware and unconcerned.

After I cut the cord, I took the gloves off. The pastor’s brother-in-law butted in on a Facebook entry I wrote, because he thought I was commenting negatively on his orphanage project. I was actually talking about something else.

At New Dawn Ministries, like Trinity, negativity was worse than blasphemy. Once they committed to a mistake, they did not want to hear any back talk. They would point the ship toward the rocks, and everyone had to cheer until they ran it up on the rocks.

The pastors at New Dawn didn’t even accept negativity from prophets. Their official doctrine was that a prophet only said encouraging things.

The brother-in-law was mistaken about me criticizing his orphanage, but since he brought it up I decided to treat him like a man and not a porcelain doll. I stated my misgivings about it, and he blew up. He wrote a long outburst accusing me of speaking as though I were “the voice of God.” He ended it with some incongruous Christianese boilerplate about loving me and wanting to help me and so on.

When Christians are furious at you, they will often tell you they love you and want to help you.

We have all experienced this. “You lying backslider and wolf in sheep’s clothing: Satan has prepared a special place in hell for people like you. Get ready to burn for all eternity. You will pay for your heresy unless you repent. I say this with love, my Christian brother, so call me if you want prayer.”

Who accepts an offer like that?

When you don’t take up their very attractive offers of help, you’re the one who looks like a heathen. At least they hope so.

In what must was a tremendous affront to a member of the pampered inner circle, I flatly stated that I didn’t think the stuff about love and good wishes was sincere, given the things that immediately preceded it.

I committed other offenses. I reached out to people about lazy pastors who let their wives abuse churchgoers. When I found out the pastors were urging members to shun people who left the church, I called them and their church out by name and told people they were welcome to remain in my life. I had a public discussion with three other people who had been shunned, and we held nothing back, because we wanted others to wake up and be protected. The freedom was very pleasant.

You can’t imagine what a sensation this was. The pastors of this failed one-room church were extremely proud and very quick to anger, and so were their relatives and associates. That anyone would contradict them publicly was unthinkable. You just couldn’t do it. It could not happen. Yet it was happening.

I can see why John the Baptist taught in the wilderness, far from the rabbis.

It’s not surprising that the head pastor got charged with felonies. God uses progressive punishment: hints, then strong warnings, then little problems, and then very big problems, with hell the biggest problem of all. The pastors were incapable of self-examination. They closed their ears, so the consequences kept building. A friend of mine says God would have spared him, had he listened. I believe that’s true.

I have rejected correction myself, so I know how it works. I am grateful to God because he got through to me before I exhausted his patience.

Recently I realized God had put me in northern Florida to heal me of the wounds I received in the snakepit of South Florida. Now I understand that he is also keeping me away from church so I can be healed of the wounds I received from backward Christians.

I doubt I’ll ever go to church regularly again. God showed me that almost everyone who has mistreated me or held me back in recent years was a Christian, going after me because I was open about sick doctrine. That’s quite a testimony. I have to be concerned about unequal yoking, not just when I associate with heathens, but even when I walk through the doors of a church. That’s a little too much opposition to put up with consistently.

Church should be like a wife. It should give you support and rest. It should back you up and help you succeed. My churches were like hookers. They only wanted me for what I could do for them. I sincerely wanted to help them do well, but they didn’t care about me at all. I was just a john.

My churches’ leaders provoked me to anger with consistent abuse. Provocation is temptation. I have enough temptation in my life without finding it at church. I know I have to forgive people, but I don’t want to subject myself to unrepentant, self-righteous people who require forgiveness over and over.

Jesus said you should forgive a brother seventy times seven times, but he didn’t say you should be grafted to such a person at the hip. Hanging around with abusive people is like remaining on a beach after the topless girls come out. The first time a person tempts you to be angry, it’s his fault. Every time you allow him to do it after that, it’s your fault.

None of this should be controversial. There is nothing unusual or surprising about receiving bad treatment from Christians. It’s what’s supposed to happen, in this world of deaf and blind believers. It’s normal. God told us it would happen.

Jesus and the prophets were killed or sent to be killed by Jews who believed in God and thought their persecution was pleasing to him. Jesus never had a problem with a pagan until the rabbis gave him to the Romans, and even then, the Romans did their best to turn him loose. The Jews insisted he be killed.

The Jews, not the Romans, stoned Stephen to death because he admitted he saw Jesus in heaven at the right hand of God. Paul sat by and approved. Before his conversion, Paul was a pious Jew whose job was to round up Christians and have them imprisoned by other pious Jews. He wasn’t a pagan.

Through a psalm, Jesus said he was wounded in the house of his friends. He said his own friend had lifted up his heel against him. If I draw close to God and then experience abuse from Christians, it’s not an anomaly. It’s confirmation of God’s word.

Life is so strange.

I’m not concerned about church any more. I will focus on healing, and if God sends me to a church later on, I will go. It’s a good arrangement. I don’t want my Sundays screwed up any more. Somewhere, there are people who can be blessed, and God will put me among them, church or no church.

Maybe you’re enslaved, like I was. Are your pastors proud? Do they listen to correction? Do they have a bunch of corrupt, inept relatives and friends who get cushy jobs and lots of unquestionable authority? Do they hide their finances the way my pastors did? Is your church languishing and failing to grow? Are you expected to donate excessive amounts of money, time, and work? Do you feel like you’re being restrained? Have you been persecuted for telling the truth? If you have had these problems, you may be in a cult.

It’s okay, and it’s important, to ask God to help you understand your situation. He didn’t create you to serve a self-anointed pharaoh, and he will be happy to set you free.

And Shabbat Shalom

If you read this blog, you may know that I visit Internet forums to keep up with my hobbies. I always complain about the negative attitudes I encounter. Rudeness is amplified on the web because people feel safe. It’s hard to punch someone who insults you from across the country. Today I got up and looked at my email over breakfast, and I found I had a private message at one of my forums. Someone was wishing me and another person a happy Easter. I don’t use the word “Easter” because it’s pagan, but other than that, it was a great surprise. Much better than starting the day with a message calling me a Nazi or asking me to cite multiple sources for a controversial claim such as “iron rusts.”

After responding to the message, I watched some Youtubes. I found a new series of healing videos. I thought watching God heal people would be a good way to acknowledge Passover, which is the real name for Easter. Tom Fischer, the guy I’ve been watching lately, has friends in Canada, and they go around healing people.

I want to stress that none of the people I watch ask for money when they heal. Tom Fischer has a Paypal account and so on, for donations, but those are for people who watch, not people he helps. He quit his job and uses the money to pay his bills while he wanders around pursuing his ministry.

It seems strange to watch Canadians heal people. I think of Canadians as naive, starry-eyed leftists, and leftism is enmity to God. But every country has a remnant of serious believers.

I’ll embed a video so you can see what they do.

It’s terrible that the church gave up on miracles. What a monumental sin church leaders committed when they started preaching cessationism (the belief that manifestations of God’s power stopped). Look at the weapons we threw away. Look how we blocked God in his desire to help people.

Carnal men took over the church, and because they were carnal, they didn’t know God. They didn’t know anything about him. They made up doctrine from thin air and pagan scraps, and they created the Catholic and Orthodox churches. The leaders didn’t know God, so they couldn’t do miracles or manifest any of the fruit or gifts of the Spirit. To save face and keep their slaves in line, they taught that God had stopped working in the earth. The black poison then ran down onto the Protestant churches, in a grotesque parody of anointing oil running down Aaron’s beard and clothing.

It’s bad not to be able to flow in God’s power and righteousness, but what about preventing other people from receiving his gifts? That’s infinitely worse. Millions of people have died with unsolved problems God was eager to fix, and millions more have been turned off by our powerless, corrupt churches. The apostles healed people as a matter of course, to show them God’s power and love, but all we can do is hand people a list of rules and tell them to tough it out until they die.

God wanted hordes of ordinary people to go around teaching and healing for nothing, and he intended to use ministers to replicate themselves, but man preferred a few ignorant old men in big, fancy, ridiculous hats.

You can go into established churches today and have ignorant old men tell you miracles are rare or nonexistent, while people who don’t go to their churches are actively working miracles all over the world. Here’s supernatural symmetry for you: the old men replicate themselves just as real ministers are supposed to. People who listen to them pop up in Youtube comments and criticize people who heal in God’s name. I’m talking about Christians, not unbelievers.

The Christian church has a sad history as one of the world’s largest and most successful terrorist organizations. We’re pretty peaceful now, but it hasn’t been that long since disagreeing with a pope or a preacher could get you tortured to death. Today I can talk about prayer in tongues and miracles, but not too terribly long ago, a person like me could have been falsely accused of heresy or witchcraft and then murdered in a way that would have caused great suffering.

An “infallible” pope threatened to torture Galileo, imprisoned him, and kept him under house arrest until he died. Pope John Paul II “recanted,” to use a term Galileo would have liked, long after Galileo’s death. Two infallible popes disagreed about a matter clearly well within the realm of doctrine, and the doctrine of infallibility didn’t suffer. That’s really something.

The Jews killed prophets, kidnapped and beat Jesus, and had Jesus murdered. Christians have a long history of crushing people who prove God is alive. There are no new types of error under the sun.

I’ve been healed numerous times. What am I supposed to do? Write a letter to the Pope or the heads of the dead Protestant churches and apologize? Should I get some matches and burn myself, to undo healings I’ve received? Should I say I don’t really pray in tongues or that I haven’t seen spirits, just to make dried-up old men who know nothing feel better about the nonsense they dispense?

Catholics teach that people like me–all non-Catholics without exception–go to hell. All. They have a temporary version of hell called purgatory, which contradicts scripture, and they say I may be lucky enough to go there instead of grown-up hell, but it’s still a hell. Jesus visited me personally twice and never mentioned this. I don’t know, but I’ll bet the pope has never met him. I base that on his leftism and his bizarre remarks about religion.

Think how different the world would be if men stopped fighting the Holy Spirit. A few people here and there are healing others and getting them free from things like addiction and homosexuality, but most churches are against them, and generally, if you go to a church for healing or deliverance, you will get…NOTHING. Then we expect people to stay in the faith, with no reason to believe there’s anything to it. What if most Christians were capable of healing people and setting them free?

Uptight Christians say we shouldn’t follow signs, and they use this doctrine to shut down the miraculous, but who provided more signs than Jesus and the apostles? They were sign factories. They shed signs like trees shed leaves. They healed people so they would know God was real and that he loved them. The Bible says signs will follow us, and it doesn’t provide a cutoff date. How can that be squared with cessationism?

On one side, we have churches that hate miracles, and on the other, we have huge TV ministries that fake them for money. They seem different, but it’s the same thing. Both types of churches work to discredit God and come between him and people he wants to adopt.

Seeing people set free is wonderful. It’s so great, it’s tempting to try not to believe it. We hate having our hopes shattered, so instead of risking it, we kill our own hope and miss the obvious. We feel like we can’t lose if we don’t play, but that’s not true. Everyone is on the field, all the time.

Youtube has startled me by turning out to be a blessing. Can any good thing come out of Youtube? It’s a celebration of idiocy. If you’re careful what you search for, you can find wonderful things.

My advice is to go after the supernatural. Paul said, “Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy.”

Christianity is a supernatural thing. It’s not a list of rules. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s about spirits and supernatural righteousness and power. We can’t make it work on our own, and we were never asked to.

Squiddly Diddim Bop Em Diddim Plop

I have been resting today. Earlier I had a supernatural experience, and I have already written about it. Since it happened, I’ve felt much better, but I’ve also felt drained.

I finally got up and did something relatively useful. I walked to my game camera and took it down. Yesterday I put it up near a place where animals cut under my fence.

There were several videos in the camera, not including the one of me taking it down or videos that don’t show any animal life. The first two were the usual coons, but I also got a coyote and a fox.

The interesting thing to me is that these predators showed up during the day. I thought coyotes were nocturnal, but one crossed my fence between 1 and 2 p.m. I’ll post a capture.

The fox showed up at around 8:30 this morning. I had put some stuff down to attract animals, and it appears that it was gone before he arrived. He nosed around looking for it.

I’ll post a shot of the fox I filmed earlier this month. As you can see, it’s a different fox. It’s younger, and its coloring is more brilliant. It’s much smaller than today’s fox. So it looks like I have at least two foxes here, and our backward government will not let me shoot either one of them!

What do they want? Do they want foxes overrunning the place? Do they want them crowding me off the recliner and fighting over the remote?

Don’t tell me tyranny doesn’t exist.

Today’s fox seems nearly as big as today’s coyote. The coyote seems small, although I’m not equipped to judge. Maybe it’s young.

Their behaviors are different. The fox seems carefree. It’s intent on finding food. The coyote seems worried. He raises his head over and over and sniffs the air, like he knows there is a guy on a recliner, thinking of coyote pelts.

It’s as if they know the hunting laws. Coyotes are legal 24/7/365. Foxes are sacred. You can’t hunt them at all. No wonder the fox is relaxed.

The coyote video is encouraging because it shows I don’t have to be up at 4 a.m. to shoot one of these guys. It’s discouraging because the coyote is already nervous even before my arrival. I think he’ll be as wary as Donald Trump speaking at a Sierra Club dinner. Of weeds and mold and whatever it is they eat.

I’m disappointed that I haven’t filmed a bear. That would be neat. People keep expressing doubt that we have a bear, but you know what they say. Poop don’t lie.

I found some exciting new poop today. Poop is my new hobby. You could call me a poop watcher. I don’t know what it is. It’s not a coon. I don’t think it’s a bear. It’s not a bobcat or a coyote. It doesn’t look like fox poop. It’s sort of like very small, more or less rectangular cow manure.

Scanning the numerous helpful poop sites on the web, I have to conclude that it must be a bear after all. Maybe it’s a very small bear. Maybe it’s a big one that eats too much cheese.

You’re supposed to call poop “scat.” Seems pretentious. Looks like plain old poop to me. Scat is poop with a college degree.

I don’t want to think of poop when I listen to Ella Fitzgerald.

I have never seen deer poop here, and I’ve only seen a couple of things that looked like they could be turkey poop. When we bought the property, I made a big mistake. I had it surveyed. I had it inspected. I had a title search done. I did not do a poop inventory.

Live and learn.

I heard a bird of prey call while I was walking in and I saw what must have been a big hawk. It was sitting in the top of a hickory tree. It was huge. We have little hawky-looking birds here the size of crows, but this one would have fed three people.

When I got to the house, two sparrow sort of things were flapping around in the garage. They could not find the giant open door, so I opened the other one, increasing their odds of escape by 100%. They made it.

I have started putting seed in our feeder, partly to attract birds to amuse my dad (who turned out not to be interested in them), and partly to attract squirrels and get them fat and stupid for squirrel season. I’ve seen some strange birds going after the seed. I saw some that were tiny and bright yellow. I think that’s what I saw in the garage today.

It has occurred to me that I could go out and look at birds. But the only good optics I have are attached to rifles. I don’t know if I want to have a game warden spot me aiming a .308 at an eagle. There is probably a law against it, even if you take the bolt out of the gun. Wardens have heard a lot of clever excuses. “I’m just carrying my friend’s rifle.” “I’m just sitting in a covered deer blind with a Ma Deuce because it’s hot out.” As a result, the laws prevent you from doing just about anything that resembles hunting, unless you do it to animals in season. You can probably get fined for saying “BOO” to the wrong animal.

I think I’m forbidden to even walk within a certain distance of a tortoise hole. Like I know where they are.

I like the game camera. I should have bought a better one, but this one is fun. Maybe I’ll eventually see something other than a crow, coon, coyote, or fox. If I do, I will certainly let you know.

Blaine and Antoine Get Their Pom-Poms

I was going to get up and stop blogging after publishing my last entry, but a couple of things happened. I want to mention them.

First, I felt the spirits of fear and anger leave me. When spirits leave you, you may feel a sort of spasm or contraction. In the Bible, a spirit “tore” someone as it left. Anyway, I feel much better now, and I hope I can hang onto it and avoid provocation.

Second, I read that two men have become LA Rams cheerleaders.

This is interesting to me, because I am one of the few people on earth who talks about the conflict between Hellenism and God. Hellenism is the adoption of certain Greek customs. It was a huge problem when the Greeks ruled Israel.

The Greeks worshiped professional athletes, and athletics, which should be trivial, was very important. Athletics helped people make connections and succeed. Athletes competed nude, and when Jewish men stripped, their circumcisions were seen. Some Jews became ashamed of circumcision, and they tried to disguise it or undo it. Some people refused to circumcise their sons.

Circumcision is a very big deal to Jews. It’s the sign of the Abrahamic covenant. It’s far from optional.

The Greeks also promoted homosexuality through sports, and to Jews, homosexual relations are abominable.

Hellenism was very destructive to Judaism, and athletics was one of the weapons Satan used.

The US is plagued with Hellenism. Our universities accept students who lack the mental capacity to succeed, in order to put them on sports teams. We also have pampered athletes who compete for a living. We pay them incredible salaries. We let them commit crimes. Our women beg to have sex with them and try to have their illegitimate babies. We go to football games on Sunday instead of going to church.

Organized sports promote pride, dishonesty, aggression, lust, and homosexuality. Even sports organizations that discourage homosexuality as policy feed it in private.

I don’t like pro sports. They’re sick and evil. I don’t care who disagrees. I don’t care if God managed to speak through Tim Tebow. God has spoken through a lot of people who weren’t where they should have been. You will notice God took Tebow off the field.

If God wanted Tim Tebow to continue and succeed in the NFL, where would he be today? A lot of people prayed for him to make it, and God didn’t listen.

One of the signs that pro sports are idolatrous cult activities is that people get furious when you point it out. The anger is way out of proportion to the offense. That’s a demonic thing.

I watched a video of the new cheerleaders. They’re very, very effeminate. They’re not going to be like Ronald Reagan and George Bush, who belonged to college squads. They’re going to be sexually provocative, just like the girls. I’ll embed the video.

Am I upset by this new low? I think it’s bad, but I’m also pleased, because maybe there is some hope that football idolaters will feel this slap. Anyone who goes to or watches a Rams game will have these men thrown in his face for three hours. These dancers won’t just be dancing. They’re cheerleaders, not ballerinas. They’ll be doing their best to arouse men sexually.

Maybe it will make people think.

Unequal Yoking has a Price

I had a fascinating experience last night.

Yesterday I wrote about spirits I’ve noticed, operating in my presence. The ones I mentioned were spirits of fear and groundless anger.

While it was still dark today, I woke up, and a spirit of fear was with me. I was very anxious…about nothing. Usually when we have emotions, we are able to come up with explanations. For example, if I had to be sentenced to prison today, I would tell myself I was anxious or afraid because of that. This morning, there wasn’t a rationale for my anxiety. I have little challenges, but things are going very well.

I use the word “rationale” because I know our emotions aren’t as connected to circumstance as we think.

I know I’ve had emotions that were not caused by my circumstances. For example, when Jesus visited me in the night, I felt overwhelming joy, and I knew I was going to be safe forever. My circumstances hadn’t changed, apart from the visit. After the visit, the joy left, and so did the knowledge that things were going to be all right.

When I entered the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, I felt grief fall on me like a cold blanket being dropped over my back. I knew it wasn’t my grief, because I wasn’t a good enough person to be that affected by the misfortune of others. It was the grief of the Holy Spirit.

I used to suffer from depression. I thought I was depressed because I lived with abuse, because my parents had a marriage of discord and torment, because I did badly in school, or because I was dissatisfied with my social life. I later learned I was depressed because I was depressed. I heard irrational negative thoughts all day. I didn’t have a good reason to be depressed; there is no such thing. Even when you have no hope, depression isn’t necessary or helpful. I was young. I was very able. I had great opportunities. Another person in my situation might have felt very encouraged in spite of the problems.

I’m sure spirits were involved in my depression and the grief I felt at the museum. I know they produce many of the emotions, thoughts, and drives we think originate in us. I know the emotional state of Jesus filled me when he visited.

This morning, in my dark bedroom, I believed I had a spirit of fear, so I did what you do when spirits trouble you. I fought it supernaturally. I spoke defeat to it. I asked God to drive it out. I commanded it to leave. I prayed in the Spirit.

There are levels of belief. For example, I have a certain level of belief in Jesus right now. When he visited me, the level was much higher. I knew he was there. If he had physically manifested himself, I suppose the level would have been higher still.

I believed a spirit of fear was after me right away, but when I started fighting it, I became very aware that it was distressed, and that I was feeling fear that came from a separate being. I could feel it moving in me, in turmoil. My belief that a spirit was with me became knowledge.

I continued fighting it, and eventually things subsided, and I went to sleep. I can’t say it’s gone for good, but I scored a knockdown with God’s help.

Some people say love is the opposite of fear. I don’t think that’s true, but John said perfect love casts out fear, so perfect love and fear can’t coexist. I think that when God’s supernatural love flows through you, it pushes out fear, not because fear is its opposite, but because you naturally prefer love to fear. Love takes up your attention, and fear can’t get a hearing because it’s repulsive and no longer makes sense.

When God’s love is flowing in you, God is with you, and you can’t be afraid in his presence unless you have an issue you need to address.

That’s my best guess. When people say love is the opposite of fear, it doesn’t ring true with me, and when I ask God if it’s true, I get no confirmation.

The people who say love is the opposite of fear are generally people who aren’t Christians, and I don’t accept doctrine from the lost.

God’s presence is like light, and all forms of evil are like darkness. His presence annihilates them, the way light annihilates darkness. It’s not a battle. When God appears, where he is, evil instantly ceases to exist. When God is present, love flows from him like light from the sun. I’ve felt it, not just emotionally, but physically. When he’s around, you can feel the rays of love bathing your body.

Actually, light is like God’s presence. His presence existed first.

I have some confirmation. Look at what I found when I checked 1 John:

Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you: because the darkness is past, and the true light now shineth.

He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.

He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.

But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.

I don’t think love and fear are opposites. I have the conventional, ancient, nearly universal belief. I think anger is more like love’s opposite. It certainly cuts off love in me, more than fear does.

If anger cuts off love, you would expect anger to open the door to fear, because it blocks the presence of the one who annihilates fear.

That makes more sense to me.

I have pursued God’s love for a long time. I know anger is poisonous, and I know it’s an issue with me. I spent years cultivating an anger addiction. I always pray for God to help me love people and to forgive them. Especially the most vicious people in my life. But anger is a habit, like fear, and I am tempted to be angry many times every week. I am subjected to vexatious behavior from people who love darkness.

Provocation by obnoxious people who love to cause suffering is temptation. Trying to stay free of anger when there are vexatious people in your life is harder than getting free after those people are removed. It’s like trying to get free of lust while living in an apartment in the back of a strip club.

We don’t call provocation “temptation,” and that’s remarkable, because that’s what it clearly is.

When Jewish leaders beat Jesus and spat on him, they were tempting him. They wanted him to sin so Satan could have him condemned and destroy his power to keep people free while alive and out of hell after their deaths. Satan also wanted Jesus in hell very badly.

The spirit of anger is the spirit of murder. I learned I had it a long time ago. God mentioned it to my by name. I had it cast out, but it returns, so I still have to battle it. It doesn’t mean I have any desire to harm anyone physically. I could never do that except in a self-defense situation, and I don’t want to. It just means that when I get angry with people, I have a desire to diminish them, take their dignity, and remove them from my life. The Jews believe verbal abuse is a sort of murder.

Orthodox Jews who hate Jesus call him “YESHU,” which, in Hebrew, is an acronym for “May his name and memory be blotted out forever.” Some Jews who have accepted Jesus say that, at least. It’s not just a mean name. It’s an attempt to annihilate him.

One wonders…what is better? To ask God for deliverance from obnoxious people, or to be made so powerful in love, obnoxious people can’t make headway?

Here is what I think, based on the Bible. You should do both.

The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. They tempt us in all sorts of ways. It also says we should not put God to the test. When you associate needlessly with unbelievers, you test God. Clearly, then, we should avoid being around nasty people when we don’t have to.

Jesus got away from vexatious people. He spent a certain amount of necessary time with them, and then he took off. If Jesus himself didn’t hang around with his enemies, neither should we.

As for being built up in love, that’s a fundamental goal no Christian questions.

Prepare for conflict, but avoid it. That makes sense to me.

I know people who got married or pregnant before getting to know God. Their pain is tremendous. They are stuck in relationships with people whose presence is like being flogged, or they are recovering from such relationships. Sometimes the problematic partner changes. Usually, they don’t, and it doesn’t matter what the believing partner does, because any conversion can be prevented by free will.

Being single has its downside, but like I always say, the wrong woman is literally worse than cancer. No one ever commits a murder-suicide because of cancer.

The spirits of fear and murder are desperate to stay with me and work on me. They use abusive people. They use people who won’t listen. They use caffeine. They use every tool they can pick up.

If I can get lasting victory over these spirits, God’s love should flow through me unopposed, and I should feel considerably better.

This stuff is important. You have to maximize God’s presence in your life, and you can’t dictate terms. You have to do it his way. Give up what he tells you to give up.

I envy people who have very limited exposure to the nasty and the boorish, and who spend a lot of time sharing love with like-minded individuals. I expect to get there myself some day.

More Data for my Soros/DHS File

I did exactly what anyone who knows me would expect me to do. I ordered a bolt-action rifle in .204 Ruger, and I’m also getting a night scope. I am becoming a full-tilt-boogie deplorable.

This is the kind of hardware that makes Hillary supporters wet the bed. The only thing worse than a deplorable who can shoot you from 20 feet away in broad daylight is one who can shoot you from 400 yards away at night with very little chance of being caught.

I often wonder what liberals think about modern shooting technology. In truth, I doubt they know about it. Their knowledge of guns is like my knowledge of gay porn or the vocal stylings of Barbra Streisand. I don’t know much about it because I don’t want to be exposed to it.

Liberals say things like “shotgun rifle” and “assault weapon” as though they made sense. They think AR-15’s are automatic weapons; they say it all the time. Most of them probably have no idea America is full of Republicans with thermal night scopes, wireless IR game cameras, and rifles with suppressors. They’re probably only dimly aware that some people make their own ammunition, or that a lot of us can make our own guns if we have to.

I’ve been watching Youtubes of people using thermal and IR night scopes. It would make Hillary faint and fall into her van all over again. Americans would make the most dangerous guerrillas on earth. The Second Amendment WORKS. God help anyone who comes after us. Not that he would.

We can take unsuspecting agents of tyranny out from very long distances, day or night. We can conceal ourselves visually and thermally. We can do all sorts of stuff. And there are so many of us, if the government turned against us, they wouldn’t have enough personnel or hardware to deal with us.

People say the government could overpower us with its machinery and weaponry, but they only have enough of that stuff to fight what? A million people at a time, tops? And they’re trained to fight helpful people who show up together in big clumps, wearing uniforms. They don’t do so well against multiple isolated attackers who resemble friendlies, spread out over wide areas, attacking at random times. Look how the Viet Cong frustrated them.

They would be in real trouble if they went up against, say, 100 million internal enemies who know all their secrets. And many cops and soldiers would turn and fight on our side. Many would fight the government from within.

Liberals are terrified of semi-automatic rifles, but if things got crazy, I think armed civilians would do more damage with hunting guns, which liberals pretend to like. Guerrillas don’t engage head-on. They use surprise. They attack from cover and disappear. Doesn’t that sound like hunting?

If a nut was mad at me, I would much rather have him kick in the front door and try to get me with an AR-15 than shoot me from under a bush a quarter-mile away.

Maybe Uncle Sam could win another civil war, but I think he would suffer very badly if he tried.

It’s interesting to think about. Personally, I can’t imagine taking part in armed resistance, because I think it’s carnal. But it’s nice to learn new skills. I’ll say something else. When the leftist-controlled government finally comes after Christians, it will be better to hand the local kapo your rifle and surrender from a position of power than to turn yourself in because you can’t fight back. Anybody can surrender from a position of weakness. If God calls on us to refrain from violence and submit to execution, the godless will benefit more if they see that we had a choice.

Jesus wasn’t captured. He sent Judas for the high priest, and he waited.

I wanted something to shoot animals in the area above squirrels and below deer. I wanted low recoil so I could see hits through a scope. I wanted super-duper accuracy. I think I got it. The .204 Ruger looks like a wonderful gap-filler between .17 HMR and .308 Winchester.

The night scope was not cheap, but I had a credit card point gift card I hadn’t found a use for, so I emptied it. I used to use my own credit card points to buy tools, but that’s harder to do these days. Now that I’m on a farm with my dad, a lot of the tooly things I buy are charged to him. It’s important for me to avoid spending my own money because of the death tax. If I’m using a tool around his farm, it makes no sense for me to pay for it.

If things work out, I should be able to try everything out this weekend. I can’t wait. I think after this I can stop buying guns for at least 6 months.

Except maybe a .22 pistol.

Which barely counts.

I better go out and take the game camera down. I bought rechargeable batteries for it, so now I’m using it again. With regular batteries, it would have gone through about 20 AA’s a week.

Wish me luck. I’m hoping to find out which bear has been pooping here.