Keep up the Prayer

Mish Weiss’s liver has improved, which is very good news, but overall, she is not feeling optimistic.

Don’t forget her.

No More Autopsy Photos of Che

Cafepress can be a nasty place. But it doesn’t have to be.

Check it out.

New stuff is going up over time.

Dance 3, Faith 10

I used to belong to an Assemblies of God church. That ended in 1989. The pastor said some things that gave me the impression that he hadn’t put his criminal past completely behind him. He had been a petty criminal in his youth, and he told a story about how he and two friends had picked up a hitchhiker and beaten him and taken his money. And the way he told the story suggested he thought it was funny.

That disturbed me, and there were other problems with the church. For example, we often had services that lasted three hours, for no clear reason. It seemed as if the paster were out of control and out of touch with our needs.

I tried to find a new church, but I didn’t try very hard, and procrastination eventually led to years on my own. And one reason I stayed away was that there were problems with the churches I knew. For example, the charismatic churches seemed obsessed with getting God to do stuff for people, and they didn’t teach all that much about our duties to God. And the non-charismatic churches seemed like a waste of time. I was convinced that the baptism of the Holy Spirit was real, and the churches charismatics referred to as “dead”–the places where the gifts of the Holy Spirit were criticized and “debunked”–were pretty awful. Those are the places that now have gay pastors and even bishops, and which call God “she,” and which tell us Jesus was kind of a benevolent mental case who hallucinated a lot but gave us a lot of useful teaching about being nice and thinking positive.

I found clergymen disappointing. Some were clearly grifters. Others were, at best, hypocrites. Many had gigantic egos incompatible with Christian teaching. I don’t have to tell you the ways in which ministers let us down. Open a newspaper; it’s all there.

This weekend, I watched a DVD of a charismatic preacher, and I was disappointed again. Something about this guy bothered me. I finally nailed it down. First, he kept talking about his amazing respect and devotion to various highly spiritual people he had known, and he talked about how he “sat at their feet” and asked them stuff. It was a little like listening to a Michael Jackson fan talking about how he once touched a chair in which the Gloved One had sat. It seemed like this guy was praising himself for loving these people so much, and for knowing them personally. It’s a very bad sign when a Christian tells you how amazing his faith and devotion are, as if he were telling you something of real value, while expecting you to applaud. It’s not the same thing as giving your testimony in order to help other people’s faith, even though it may seem similar.

Also, he kept talking about amazing miracles he had seen or heard of. Now, miracles happen. People get healed and so on. But bad things happen, too. Sometimes you pray for people and they drop dead anyway. I’m sorry, but it happens. And there was something about the way this guy talked that seemed to suggest that we should always expect to get exactly what we ask for. I felt like he was pumping people’s hopes up, just to make them happy and raise his own profile and get him more preaching gigs.

And he was pushing people to dance and yell and sing. I resented that. I find it extremely annoying and presumptuous when a preacher tells people they have to make fools of themselves in church. I have felt God’s presence, but I have never felt like hopping up and down in a church aisle, and I prefer not to scream or sing really loud. And I don’t think I have to do those things to make God happy. I’ve always hated dancing in clubs and so on, because I was only doing it in order to gain acceptance; there was never anything sincere about it, except when it was real dancing, like salsa and merengue. Jerking around like a monkey always made me feel stupid, and let’s be honest, virtually everyone you see in the floor when you go to a disco looks like an idiot. It’s not just me. I always resented being told I had to participate in this degrading ritual in order to be normal. And I don’t want to hear the same shtick when I go to church. I don’t recall reading about Moses or Elijah or Jesus break-dancing in the street, and I see no need to do it, myself. If I decide I feel like it, I’ll do it. Until then, leave me alone.

A lot of flamboyant closeted gays choose to deny their impulses and go into preaching, and they have certain extroverted tendencies with regard to performing and singing and dancing, and they think the rest of us should share them. I don’t want any part of that. The Bible does not require me to moonwalk, so leave me alone. The fact that I’m not jumping up and down like an attention-starved XTC-popping pinhead at a rave does not mean I’m “ashamed of God” or that I’m less spiritual than you are. And your ostentatious display of passion and devotion may have more to do with pride than faith. If you’re doing it for the wrong reason, save it for Soul Train.

I’m not knocking these guys for their nature; it could be worse. They could be working as female impersonators, singing at bathhouses. They’re apparently controlling their urges. They marry and so on. But still, they are different, and they should realize that not every compulsion they feel is shared by other people.

Maybe I’m completely wrong about this man. That’s not the point I’m getting at. Here’s where I’m headed: I have been very disappointed in many, many clergymen, and I’ll bet you have too. And we’re often right to be disappointed. You don’t have to be a genius to know when a preacher has severe failings.

There is a famous “Word of Faith” preacher out there who appears to have gone completely around the bend. I mean, Colonel Kurtz territory. He says no end of nutty things, and he’s obscenely rich, and he tells people, essentially, that their lives should be perfect. If they’re not, it means they’re not sending him enough money, or they’re not praying enough, or they’re not wearing the right color socks when they pray, or SOMETHING is wrong, and it’s their fault. Critics are now claiming that a lot of his stuff is plagiarized directly from the works of a man named E.W. Kenyon, and some of it is just gnosticism painted up to resemble Christianity. And this man and his crew don’t take criticism well. His daughter compared a Senator’s request for information to Kristallnacht. I am not kidding. And it’s funny, these guys never–NEVER, as far as I know–tell people they need to give more money to charity. If they’re mentioning charity, they’re not mentioning it very much, because I’ve been looking for it, and I haven’t seen it. No, you’re supposed to send your money to the ministry. Because yachts need diesel, and it’s not free.

Hmm…God helped Cornelius the centurion because of his prayers and ALMS. Not because he bought Jesus a ridiculous private jet. Something to think about. “By their fruits,” right? And God didn’t send Cornelius a big check, which is what the prosperity preachers would have told him to expect. No, he and his house were saved and filled with the Spirit. I guess they weren’t believing for the right kind of miracle.

This weekend, I realized something. Jesus said the first would be last and the last would be first, in the kingdom of God. I always thought that meant there were poor or unknown people out there who would amount to more in the kingdom than prominent Christians who were not as righteous. And I think that’s true, but I think it also means that the strongest Christians are usually found in front of the pulpit, not behind it. The guys with the big churches and the big names are making a splash now, but generally they will not be as special or prominent after the judgment. Life can be like high school. Sometimes the quarterback ends up pumping gas in his forties.

This is a useful thing to know. Back when I belonged to that Assemblies of God church, the pastor disappointed me. But the congregants never did! I mean, never. I’m sure there were people there who were hypocrites or who had bad intentions in one way or another, but I never saw any of that. I saw sincerity and real effort. In this life, congregants have less honor than preachers. But many ordinary churchgoers are people of very great virtue, and many perfectly adequate pastors are not.

Here’s something else that occurred to me. There is a big difference between preachers and congregants. Preachers get paid to be in church. They benefit in lots of ways. People give them cars. People tell them how wonderful they are. But what about congregants? They pay to be there! No one praises them. No one knows who they are. So it naturally follows that you should expect to find stronger, more trustworthy Christians in the pews. Not on the platforms. The fact that a man is leading a church doesn’t mean he’s the most virtuous person there.

History is full of insincere clergymen. But how many people will attend church, and pay for the privilege, out of insincerity? The percentage has to be much lower. Why would you waste your time and money, if you don’t believe? Tithing and alms are expensive. And it’s a pain, spending a fourth of your weekend on church, when you don’t believe. You’d have to be a masochist, if you didn’t think what you were doing was right.

Of course, there are people who get venal rewards from church. Some people want attention, and they see to it that they get to sing solos and lead choirs. Some people just like to feel like they’re better than the rest of us, so they buy really big Bibles and carry them around and tell the rest of us what we’re doing wrong. But in all likelihood, churchgoers are probably more sincere than ministers and other church leaders.

If you keep this in mind, maybe it will be easier to accept the problems you’ve discovered in your church. Every church has flaws; you have to find the best one you can and stick with it. If your experience is like mine, you’ll find that the people you meet make your church’s little imperfections worth putting up with. They will bless your life as much or more than the guy up front. If I had thought about that back in ’89, I would surely have found a new church.

Prayer May Also be Helpful

Today I have fantastic news. Mish Weiss says her SOS or VOD or whatever you call it–the dangerous side effect she is suffering from the chemotherapy drug Mylotarg–is moderate, not severe. Whew.

Yesterday I got on the web and read up on this condition, and I found out a treatment had been discovered. A drug called defibrotide can be very helpful. So I mentioned it in Mish’s comments. Never be afraid to make a suggestion about someone’s medical treatment. By the time you reach middle age, you will have known a number of people who died because their doctors missed something that was obvious to lay people.

As you may know, Mish is a recovering vegan. Okay, I put “recovering” in there with no real basis in fact, but I have hopes for her. She finally agreed to drink Ensure, a dairy-based product that puts weight on people. Here’s what she says about defibrotide:

The irony of it being derived from cow lung or “other parts” was not lost on me. Still not eating a steak though. :p

I’m a good influence, even when I don’t realize it.

In her comments, I told her someone was clearly trying to tell her something. And I noted that Solomon’s Temple was basically a barbecue joint with priests. Think she’ll buy it? Maybe not.

Anyway, this is great news. The problem she is having can be very, very bad, so it’s a relief to hear that it’s not as severe as it might have been.

Mish has all sorts of people praying for her. When she beats this thing, it will be obvious that God did the work.

In other news, Heather’s mom begins radiation treatment for cervical cancer today; I figured you would want to know.

One more thing: Dennis the Peasant’s mother-in-law is going into a hospice, and the estimate is six months. Put that on your list.

Remember Mish Today

Please don’t forget about Mish Weiss. She is still fighting the life-threatening side effects of her treatment with Mylotarg. She needs your prayers more than ever.

I got an interesting email from a reader named John. He has been trying to change his life. He says:

Unfortunately, I have trouble improving my personal habits and they are slowing my progress to Christ. I would greatly appreciate it if you would ask your readers to pray that God gives me the grace and strength of will to change.

Consider it done.

“Renewal” Should Mean Something

I have been getting links from other blogs because I wrote some critical things about Pajamas Media and some of the people who are involved in it. I wrote one remark which has gotten a lot of attention; at the time I wrote it, I thought it was mild and relatively inoffensive, but re-reading it, I think it was unnecessarily harsh.

I’m taking down the posts I wrote. I’ve been trying to change my life, and I don’t want to let my faults drag me back into the pool of smoldering invective and gossip which is the political Blogosphere. I apologize to those I made fun of, not for their sake, but for my own.

There is nothing wrong with pointing out the problems with PJM, but it’s possible to do it in a more constructive way.

I also apologize for those things I wrote in the past which were really over the line.

Pay Six Figures to Memorize Cliff’s Notes

I got an obscene comment today. Here’s the unbelievable part. It was from a liberal. No, it had to be a GOP fake. Liberals always take the high road, right? Darn that Karl Rove. For a minute, he fooled me.

The funniest thing about it was that it came from a university. Obviously, someone’s parents’ money has been well spent!

We live in a time where people gladly pay institutions over twenty thousand dollars per year to teach their kids to take drugs, fornicate, give up their belief in God, bring curses on themselves and their families, read Cliff’s Notes, and absorb creaky, discredited leftist notions that bring mankind only suffering. Don’t ever try to tell me God wasn’t right on the money when he described us as sheep. When it comes to judgment, just about any mammal you can name is superior to man. Find me another animal that would base jump or smoke cigarettes.

For the most part, universities are gigantic wastes of money. In two weeks, a smart person who doesn’t watch TV all day can absorb everything a school can offer in a liberal arts course, with none of the bias and BS. At a cost of maybe a hundred bucks, if he buys his own books. Gas money, if he uses a library.

Seriously, how much time did you have to put in to get a B+ in a literature or history course, or in a nonsense course like sociology or black studies? Be honest. Two or three days of cramming, at the end of each semester, unless you had to write a paper. I had to take anthropology to “balance” my physics and math courses when I was in school. I studied for about a day, and I got an A. Try that in multivariable calculus and see what happens. If you’re Norbert Wiener, you can do it. Otherwise, expect to fail. Most college courses are a tremendous ripoff. And strangely, we don’t care. All over the US, there are people who don’t mind paying several thousand dollars for a child to study a course like the history of comic books or–here’s a good real-life example–the textual appeal of Tupac Shakur.

Man, think about that. What does a course cost at a private college? About four grand, I’d say. Would you invite someone into your house and pay them four large to teach you about Tupac Shakur? If not, why would you pay it to a university?

If we really cared about educating kids, we’d have accredited tutors who visited them twice a week. “Here’s your assignment. I’ll be back in three days. Know it, or your parents will take away everything that makes your life bearable.” That would work for any course not requiring special equipment. It’s how kings used to educate their kids. These days, we just shove them into the pen with the rest of the livestock and send them checks.

A lot of people think one of the best things about college life is that it gets kids away from their parents. Nothing could be further from the truth. Contact with our elders is an essential source of strength, guidance, and knowledge. This is why drug abuse and fornication are so big on college campuses. Mom and Dad and their values are a thousand miles away. If we really wanted to have a society with strong values, we’d go back to living in extended families, like people in the Bible did.

For decades, professors have been telling us our parents are idiots. Guess what? Your parents are treasures. They know a lot of things that can help you, and unlike your professors, they care more about you than they do about themselves. Your professors, on the other hand, probably ARE idiots. How do you think they ended up in academia? It wasn’t because their mad skills had the private sector chasing after them. Tenure used to exist because academic pay was too low, and job security was supposed to make up for it. Now it exists in spite of astronomical pay and benefits, simply because many academics can’t survive without it. Put an English Literature Ph.D. on the street, take away his cradle-to-grave benefits, and see what happens to him. I can tell you what WON’T happen to him. Private firms won’t offer him big money to teach them about The Canterbury Tales.

Here’s another bit of bleak news for academics. Now that we have DVDs and the Internet, it is easier than ever to completely replace professional instructors. Do you really need to subsidize an old hippie’s artificially grandiose lifestyle in order to learn college material? I’d rather buy a couple of disks.

I often say that the only people who get their money’s worth from universities are those who study things like languages, science, math, and music. Things that can’t be taught via cramming. But truthfully, you can learn all these things without instructors (or at least without costly institutions). When I studied physics and math, very often I had bad teachers and bad books. I solved these problems by buying other books and reading on my own. While I was studying first-semester calculus, I had a good teacher, but I had no background, so I studied algebra at the same time, from a book which probably cost fifteen dollars. My first mechanics teacher was so arrogant and incompetent, he nearly qualified as mentally ill. I survived by dumping Fetter & Walecka (the execrable text he liked) and buying Schaum outlines. Now that I think about it, there were a number of times when my teachers and their chosen books did me no good whatsoever. What was I paying them for? The grades, I guess. Everything else, I got on my own.

We spend too much money on secondary education. Maybe we should be working to develop a better system. Many, many courses could be replaced by tests. Show up, prove you know differential geometry, get credit, move on. Cost: $150 for proctoring and grading. Wouldn’t that make more sense than spending four thousand dollars? We already have a lot of tests to help us avoid unnecessary study. Maybe we need more of them. It’s insane to make someone spend a big six-figure sum and waste four years, just to become a member of a cubicle farm. Do you really have to spend three hundred grand to produce the Pointy-Haired Boss? I don’t think so.

Now that I think about it, I still don’t know differential geometry. I got an A in graduate mechanics anyway, but I think that was because only four students survived to take the final exam. I would really like to go back over that stuff and learn it. It’s one of those mathematical disciplines that requires memorization as well as reasoning ability; I didn’t work hard enough at it to memorize the little details that make it work.

It would never be of any use to me, but it irritates me that I never got a grip on it. I wonder if my memory problems would permit me to learn it.

I added some filters to the comment system today, so hopefully, juvenile, unintelligent remarks like the one I received this morning will be filed appropriately before I have to deal with them.

Another Chance to Help

Reader Wormathan says:

If it not to much of a bother would pass along one more prayer to your circle of readers? My sister has just been diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 41. She and her family are strong believers and her attitude is one of peace, but of course she needs strength to battle this.

It’s no bother at all. Thanks for asking. Usually it’s best not to do this on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, because fewer people see it. If you mention it on Monday, I’ll put it up again.

Chemo Drug Causes Liver Problems

Because I was offline all day, I had no idea what was going on with Mish Weiss. There is a very ominous post on her blog. The new chemotherapy drug, which just about everybody encouraged her to take, is causing liver problems.

Here is my bad, third-hand, lay explanation. The drug causes cancerous material to be flushed out of the body, and it can collect in the liver, where it forms obstructions and generates a great deal of pain. Evidently, this can be life-threatening. There is concern that Mish may not survive the next few days. You might as well read it yourself.

I don’t know what to do. Pray, obviously. Maybe fast.

By the way, reader R. sent me a thank-you email. I asked people to pray for her daughter-in-law, who was having a painful recovery from aneurysm surgery, and whose marriage was under stress. R. says:

Thanks for the prayers. They worked. At noon she looked like she had been run over by a Mack truck, eyes so swollen she could barely open them. And nauseated very badly from the pain meds. At five she could open her eyes and was sitting in a chair but was a pretty big shock to the girls when we took them in to see her. She was also still very nauseated, but they changed to a pain patch and my son called about 7 and said she was so much better, had got up and walked twice, the Foley was out, plumbing was working, and when she talked to the girls to say good night, they thought she sounded normal.

She also requests continued prayer.

I Set Them Up; You Knock Them Down

Here is some serious stuff before I begin my day of frivolous activities.

Reader R. says her daughter-in-law has had an operation for a brain aneurysm. She is now having a lot of pain. R. asks that you pray for relief from pain and a swift recovery, and that God will help her daughter-in-law with her marriage, which is under great stress.

At last check, Leah Friedman had come out of her post-operative coma, but she was having trouble recognizing people, due to the stroke she suffered during the aortic valve replacement.

Mish Weiss sucked it up and decided to try Mylotarg. As you surely know, she is suffering from leukemia, and she did not respond well to a bone marrow graft. Mylotarg is a chemotherapy drug. It can cause liver problems, including pain.

I hate to say this, because I don’t believe in making claims on God’s behalf, but as long as you understand that I’m not predicting anything, I want to say that when I included Mish and Leah in my prayers last night, I felt a tremendous sensation of power and faith. It was very unusual.

That’s the sick list. Pray if you are willing.

Childhood Memory I Wish Had Remained Buried

I had an interesting experience today. Yesterday, I went to a viewing, and today I attended the funeral. I won’t say what kind of church I went to, except that it was one of the older denominations.

When I first arrived, looking up at the vaulted ceiling and the stained glass, I felt a sense of peace, as though God was there. And then the ceremony got underway. And the sensation vanished.

Man, what a contrast, between this church and the church I’ve been attending.

At the church I attended on Sunday, people are thrilled to be there. There is interesting teaching which always seems to be directly applicable to a problem I’ve had during the preceding week. Worship is sincere and spirited and joyful. And the congregation is right in the middle of it. They are listening and praying and responding and worshiping.

At the church I went to today, four old gentlemen in ornate robes stood behind a mammoth table, reciting canned prayers and rituals. The people in the pews were purely spectators. I’m sure they prayed and took the proceedings seriously, and they did answer the priests as required, but it was as though they were behind a fence, watching while the four old men interacted with God. How different from my relationship with God. I carry on the vast bulk of it myself; I would literally rather die than let an intermediary handle it. I go to church for teaching and to be among other Christians, not to let some seminary graduate process me like a Volvo at a car wash. For me, it’s all day, every day. The hour or two I spend at church on Sunday is just a small part of it.

The tedium was oppressive. After forty-five minutes, I was dying to leave. I thought the ceremony had to be nearly over, but I looked at the program, and we were still somewhere in the middle of it. We got in and out in two hours, but I felt like it was three.

Suddenly, toward the end, I remembered…this is how I used to feel in church! This was the misery that made me dread church when I was a kid. I was upset by it today, because my father was there with me, and as far as I know, he only enters churches for funerals. My sister and I have been hoping to persuade him to go to church, and here he was, in this incredibly lifeless and dreary place, suffering from boredom and alienation.

I really hated church when I was a kid. I had forgotten. I think alienation was a big reason. At the traditional churches my mother dragged us to, things were done by rote. Computers could have been programmed to do the whole business. Like Disney’s Hall of the Presidents. Past writings and set traditions have their place, but when you exalt them too much, you insult people who are alive today. You imply that their thoughts and feelings and contributions are worthless. Why should I go to church if everything of value has already been done and said, hundreds or thousands of years ago? Why not put it on a DVD so I can watch it without being inconvenienced? What is the point of making me attend in person?

If I had to go to a church like that, I think I’d stay home. I felt trapped, like a claustrophobic in an MRI machine. No wonder so many churches are losing members. It’s painful to sit through that kind of thing, unless your boredom threshold is extraordinary. When I was a kid, I seriously believed that salvation was partly a reward for enduring one hour of utter misery every week. Now I have a refreshed understanding of why I felt that way.

When I go to Trinity Church, I look forward to it for two days before the service. I look forward to it on the drive. I’m relieved when I get there. I can’t wait to hear the sermon. I love the teaching. I love the warmth of the people, and their proactive approach. They come up to you and talk to you. If you’re up at the altar for some reason, a total stranger may put his or her hands on your shoulders without warning and pray for you. They invite you to get involved with church programs. They laugh. Couples sit pressed against each other. Last week we sat behind a mixed middle-aged couple, and the man had his arm around his wife the whole time. And you can literally feel God’s presence every time you go, surrounding you and rising up inside you. I always hate leaving, because I want to stay where that sensation is. On top of that, it seems like some funny coincidence happens on the way home, every time, which turns out to be a remarkable and unexpected blessing.

The new churches have their failings. They sometimes verge on heresy. They make mistakes. They don’t do a good enough job, keeping hucksters out of the pulpit. Sometimes they emphasize blessings above duty. But they are getting better, and anyway, I can’t imagine joining a church like the one I visited today. Not after what I’ve seen elsewhere. Honestly, I admire people who go to bloodless, gloomy churches where empty pomp and pageantry are passed off as evidence of God’s imprimatur. Those people have more self-discipline than I do. I do not have the strength of character to go to a church where I am miserable and feel nothing. Given the choice, I’d go to the other extreme and attend a place where people roll in the floor.

Besides, if you want to hear about error, consider this: the church I went to today ordains gays. So it’s pretty clear how much reverence they have for God’s will and the clear language of the Bible. A church that endorses sexual sin is not a good place to go for spiritual guidance. A church is supposed to lead society; a church that endorses gay sex is following. Wait and see. Any error society embraces will eventually be accepted openly by this church. Society’s approval is what matters to them. Jesus, on the other hand, told his followers the world would hate them, and that it had hated him first.

It’s peculiar; in its rites and prayers and hymns, the church I went to today is frozen in the very distant past. But its doctrine comes from the present day. Forget the Torah; forget the Gospels. Make up new stuff that doesn’t offend! Crib from Oprah! Let MTV be your guide!

If this church had real power and life in it, it would be attracting members without compromising. Because the power and life are gone, it has to resort to pandering. It’s spiritual promiscuity; a church like that is like a loose woman who offers whatever she has to, in order to attract men. No wonder the Bible uses words like “whoredom” and “adultery” to describe churches that adopt the policies of the unbelieving world. And really, why go to church to learn how to behave like non-Christians? If you want the real non-Christian experience, go to bars and movies and strip clubs. People who have no interest at all in God are much better than a weak church, when it comes to helping you experience worldly pleasures. Do it right; go to the experts. If I lose my faith and decide the Bible is wrong, I’ll be in the brothels and topless bars as often as possible. I won’t be hanging around with a bunch of confused clergymen who are no fun whatsoever.

If you’re a Christian and you quit going to a traditional church because you just could not stand it, or because you realized there was almost nothing there, you really need to give the newer churches a try. I wouldn’t try to persuade an active member of a traditional church to change, but if you find church boring and lifeless, and you can’t find the strength to attend, you might find that there are churches available now that suit you better than you ever thought possible. Please don’t judge every church by the awful experiences you’ve had in the past. If you quit going to church because you thought God should be exciting and powerful and a source of joy, you were right, and there are churches where you can find the God you wished existed. He is there waiting for you.

Polite Dissent

The Jews often use the phrase “cheap grace” to describe the salvation Christians receive through faith. And it is completely understandable. Many Christians believe that once you ask for salvation, you can pretty much do as you please in this life. It’s all forgiven, in advance. That’s not a hard bar to clear, especially when you compare it to the obligations observant Jews deal with. Six hundred and thirteen commandments. Kashrut. Ritual bathing. A dress code. A single day to prepare for funerals. The Jewish path is clearly harder.

As far as I know, it’s true that a Christian receives salvation upon asking and believing, and I think it’s very hard–maybe even impossible–to lose it. So maybe you can get away with your worldly, underdeveloped lifestyle. At the same time, it’s no way to live, and there is a huge cost. The Bible says over and over that you can’t enter the kingdom of God if you don’t live right. Does that mean heaven? I don’t think so. I think it means you can’t experience God’s presence and protection and guidance in this life. You can’t have his power in your life. And the Bible mentions two books kept by God. One is a list of people who are saved, and the other is a list of people’s deeds. So while you may enter paradise, there will still be some sort of cost for your sins, and it will not be trivial.

That’s the best interpretation I have come up with.

I believe–and Aaron says observant Jews believe the same thing–that when you pray, you don’t just ask for things. You search yourself. You look for things you may have done wrong, and attitudes you have that may be counterproductive. Aaron says that one of the Hebrew verbs translated “pray” is reflexive, because it’s a self-directed process. Look at the Psalms, most of which are prayers. They ask things of God, but they’re full of confession, contrition, and repentance.

I think God often answers prayer, even when people’s hearts and deeds are not quite right with him. But I also believe that bad acts and attitudes can prevent prayers from being answered, whether you pray for yourself or for others.

The Bible seems to confirm this. Over and over, the prophets tell us we can’t expect God to be good to us, if we have not been good to him and to other people. Malachi tells the Jews their prosperity will be ruined because they don’t tithe and they cheat God with flawed sacrifices. The Babylonian captivity resulted from idolatry. Paul said that a man who slept with his father’s former wife was to be turned over to Satan for the destruction of his flesh. The things we do in this life matter.

My mother died from cancer. Naturally, I prayed for her. And she had a fairly encouraging prognosis. I had experienced healing in my own life, so I believed she could receive it, too. I believed, as hard as I could.

I flew to Miami to visit her. She seemed to be doing fairly well. There was still hope. I got on a plane and flew back to Texas. And I kept praying. And then I committed a sin. I’m not going to say what it was. It doesn’t matter. But it was a bad thing for a man in my position to do. Here I was, believing for a miracle. Yet I acted like someone who didn’t believe in consequences.

I lost contact with my mother during this time. They moved her to a new hospital room without telling me. I wasn’t too worried. I had my faith. But after I had been in Texas a couple of days, I got a call. My mother was dying. Fast. I had to fly back to Miami. When I arrived, she was unconscious.

I believed and believed and believed. I believed so hard, I didn’t really feel it when she died. It didn’t seem real to me. But it was real. She was gone.

Ever since then, I have wondered. Would she have received a miracle, had my life been right?

With this in mind, I visited Mish Weiss’s blog last night and posted a comment, in an effort to help. It looks like her bone marrow graft did not work, and she is trying to decide whether to try a new chemotherapy drug or to take a cruise and die. I put a prayer request on my blog, and I posted a comment, asking if there might be anything going on in her life that might hinder the effort. I specifically stated that I was not blaming her for her illness. But I was concerned about Mish, who continues to have problems in spite of a veritable prayer army, and I felt that I had to ask the question.

Someone I will not name came here and found a post about Mish, and here is the comment she left:

How can you be so cruel or ignorant to suggest Mish is somehow responsible for her own illness? As a Christian you should have read Job (the chapter) at least once in your life. God plainly tells us Job wasn’t responsible for the things that came upon him. If you really want to do something for her why not be a real witness to her? Because true Christians know the only way anyone can EVER get their prayers answered is through JESUS CHRIST yet you conveniently left that out!!! No, all you care to comment about is how good looking she is, and how she maybe needs to repent in order to not be sick. What about her soul??? With milk toast Christians like you, no wonder our Earth is fast going to Hell in a handbasket. If you feel bad, you should with ignorant comments such as yours.

This must be that agape love we Christians are always bragging about.

Let’s see. First, I take issue with the claim that Job wasn’t responsible for the things that came upon him. Job claimed he could defend himself before God, and that was a big mistake. No one can claim righteousness before God, and in his answer to Job, God made that clear. And when did God restore Job’s family and possessions? After Job repented of this attitude.

Do I think every bad thing that happens to a person is caused by that person’s sins? No. But some things are.

Second, I do not believe that “the only way anyone can EVER get their prayers answered is through JESUS CHRIST.” The Bible says God is near to all who call upon him. I think it’s better to believe in Jesus, but I would never claim that God doesn’t hear the prayers of Jews and other non-Christians. The book of Acts says the alms and prayers of Cornelius (a Roman official) had come up before God as a memorial, and this was after the crucifixion and the miracle in the upper room, at a time when Christianity was already in existence. And God transported Philip across the country to help the Ethiopian eunuch receive salvation; clearly God was concerned about this man, even though he was not a Christian. Furthermore, I believe that the Jews are still the apple of God’s eye, as did Paul. They have not been discarded or replaced, and they are central to God’s plans.

I don’t think Mish would benefit much from a comment screeching at her to accept Jesus. I have been around Jews all my life, and I don’t think this is the way to win them over. Jews are like big fish. Big fish are big because they have seen the bait before, and they have turned it down. You can’t convert them by hammering on them like a drill sergeant. I pray for my Jewish friends, and I try to keep a dialogue open and lead a good life that will draw their interest. I don’t know what I can do, beyond that. Fire and brimstone have been tried, and so has the Inquisition. They didn’t work too well.

Third, regarding the part about how all I care about is to comment about how good-looking Mish is, here is what I said: “You are a beautiful girl with a wonderful spirit, and I cannot believe this is what God has planned for you.” It seemed to me that reminding a sick person of her good qualities and her potential might encourage her to try to beat her illness.

I was afraid Mish would be offended by my comment, but I never dreamed it would make another Christian furious. Aren’t we supposed to be the patient and forgiving ones? Let me check my notes. I think it’s in there somewhere.

I truly believe my good and bad actions have observable effects in my life. A while back, someone criticized me for opining that my problems raising fruit had something to do with my nature. A fruit is pleasant, and often my own fruit–my deeds and words and thoughts–were on the sour or bitter side. It made sense to me that I had great success growing sour things like limes and caustic things like peppers, while my tangerines fell off the tree and my papayas tasted funky. I still think I’m right about that. Over and over the Bible refers to crops and fruit failing, and the references are literal as well as figurative. Why shouldn’t my failings be reflected in the condition of the things I try to grow? It happened to the ancient Jews time and time again. Am I somehow exempt from the principle?

By the way, the papayas are all better now, and my citrus trees are doing better and better. In fact, my cara cara tree has so many blossoms I don’t see how it can carry the fruit. I’ll post a photo. It’s amazing. I’ll probably have to cull a lot of the fruit to keep the tree alive. Crazy.

All those little white things are blossoms.

Anyway, I am no authority, but I recommend you not be satisfied with “cheap grace.” In reality, it’s not cheap at all.

Mish Weiss Setback

Mish Weiss has put up a very upsetting blog post. She says her doctor believes her bone marrow graft has not worked, and that she now has a choice between resuming chemotherapy or giving up.

Please pray for her. I have experienced healing, and so have others.

Pray for Relief

I just found out that an old friend of the family has died from a heart attack. Ordinarily I would not mention something like this here, but she and her husband and his kids have had so much pain, I would like to ask you to pray for them. Nothing goes right for them.

Her husband’s first wife lost her mind and eventually died, after driving her car into part of an underpass. He remarried, and a son was born. In 1995, at the age of nine, the son was murdered by a sex offender. Now this happens. In all likelihood, it was due in large part to the lingering stress caused by her son’s death.

Please say a prayer for her husband and his son and daughter. Thanks for your consideration.

Buy Gold, Seeds, and Ammunition

Today Barack Obama becomes the President. I don’t have a whole lot to say about it.

1. As convinced as I am that this man will be incompetent, weak, unprincipled, hostile to Israel and Christianity, and extremely corrosive to capitalism and our prosperity, I can’t help feeling some excitement over the inauguration of a black President. I just wish it were someone else.

2. I am afraid his wife will continue to embarrass us, or worse, that we will come to accept her unpatriotic, divisive antics and decide that first ladies don’t have to be classy.

3. He has floundered badly in choosing subordinates, demonstrating that he was not prepared to win the Presidency. For all his talk about change, he made desperation picks, reaching for the worn-out journeymen of an earlier regime. I expect him to continue to fail in his efforts to staff his administration. Look for future screwups and near-scandals.

4. I think the US is completely finished as the world’s leading power and economy. George Bush ended his Presidency by forcing socialism on us through the back door, with incredibly shortsighted and malignant government bailouts. I expected to criticize Obama for his mindless, regressive leftism, but incredibly, George Bush has already done more evil than I anticipated from Obama. Nonetheless, I think Obama will continue in the same vein, and that it won’t be long until we’re about as prosperous as the French. I think we are being taken down because of our rebellion and idolatry, and that the bad things that are happening to us have more to do with God than with the bad judgment of George Bush and Barack Obama.

5. I believe God permitted us to choose this arrogant weakling in order to show us what happens when we rely on our own tiny intellects instead of his guidance. Americans have the ridiculous idea that we are superior to other people, and that this is the reason we have done so well. In fact, we have done well because God has protected and guided us. That protection is probably greatly weakened now, and I expect us to be swallowed economically by the Chinese and the Indians. They work harder than we do, they are just as smart (IQ tests suggest the Chinese are actually much smarter), they work for nothing, and unlike us, they don’t feel entitled to wealth. They know they have to earn it. And both countries have internal markets and manpower resources that dwarf ours. Americans are no better than anyone else, and we can fail, and we almost surely will.

6. I think it will be about a year before most Americans realize they elected a very ordinary political hack who only succeeded in life because he never questioned the corrupt Illinois machinery that supported him. “Change”? It is anathema to Obama. If he had worked for change in Chicago, he would have been expelled from the power structure, and he would now be teaching at a university.

America didn’t want a leader who believed in tried and true ideas (not that John McCain fit this description well). America wanted a flashy rock star. And that’s what we got. We got a young man who thinks the young have all the answers and that the old are stupid. He’s wrong, and unless he changes his philosophy, we are going to reap a harvest of misery from the implementation of his bad, discredited leftist ideas.

I plan to avoid criticizing him excessively in the future, because I think Christians have an obligation to support their leaders. I plan to pray that he changes his ways, and that our country turns back to God. But my hopes are not high. Regardless of what happens to the US, I plan to work and pray for prosperity and protection for me and my family, and I suggest you do the same. When a country goes to hell, you have to have an edge in order to do well. In the past, merely working hard and being an American would get you to the top. That probably won’t be true after our economic decline enters its fullness.

That’s it.