Is there anything more wonderful than being up on a Saturday morning, chock full of McDonald’s food, with 96 brownies chilling in anticipation of later use? I think not.
I don’t know what McDonald’s puts in this stuff to elevate my mood like this, but I wish I could buy a pallet of it.
My diet is going well. I’m losing slowly but continuously, and it’s not a strain. I shouldn’t call it a diet. I’m planning to live like this forever. It’s the plan I was on before Mike and the cookbook ruined me, except that I upped the calories. I used to eat 1500 per day, with unlimited Saturdays. Now it’s 1800, which is more realistic over the long term.
Mike really destroyed my life. He showed me how to make pizza. I made it worse by making it fast and easy. Controlling myself was just not an option. I could still eat pizza for two meals every day and never get bored.
As noted yesterday, I decided to make brownies for church. They’re putting on a feed after the service tonight, and I figured this was a good way to be helpful. Maybe people will start to realize I’m there. I just sneak in and out.
It was tough making all those brownies on a diet day. I didn’t cheat, although I did have some batter and include it in my daily allotment. When I woke up this morning, I had brownies on the brain. I could almost hear them giggling at me.
I’m not really a brownie freak. Having made so many of them, I have managed to blunt my enthusiasm. Still, when you’re dieting and you have maybe twenty pounds of them on hand, it’s a little hard to stay on the path.
I decided to update my surprisingly old Garmin handheld GPS. I still think of it as new, and it looks new, but it’s three years old, so it’s an antique. I got my map software running on this computer (I used to have it only on the laptop, because the laptop can be taken on the boat), and I got the updates going, and it turns out you can now put your tracks on Google Earth.
Hmm…the tracks don’t show up, but the waypoints and so on do.
HA! Mike knew I was blogging about him. He interrupted my writing with a long phone call.
I better take a look at one of those brownies. QC is what I’m all about.
As much as I would like to be dodging hot strips of 304 stainless, I am up to something else today. Making brownies for church. Tomorrow they’re having some kind of feed after the service, and they solicited food from the congregation. I was hoping Mike would come down so we could do ribs, but he’s been delayed. So it’s all me. That means something easier than ribs.
I just plopped two trays of brownies in the oven. The full boat recipe. Nuts, chips, and coconut. I’m resting while they cook. I can’t fix the next bunch until these come out of the pans.
I tried to save time by making two batches at once, but it doesn’t work all that well. I’m going to have to face the fact that the recipe is a little light on batter. If you put coconut in the middle, you have to reserve half the batter to put on top of it, and if you’ve done this, you know how hard it is to spread. The oven’s heat helps, but it’s still a pain. And if you’ve mixed two batches at once, it’s worse, because you are likely to screw up and put too much batter in the bottom layer. If you do that, fixing the top layer is nearly impossible.
My solution: extra batter on the side. Hope it doesn’t mess up the cooking time.
Nonstick foil is a gift straight from heaven. I used to bake these in wax paper, and I always ended up peeling parts of it off with a knife. Now I line the pan with foil and lift the brownies out. Once they’re cold, the foil almost falls off.
It’s a real pleasure, being able to give something back, apart from dry monetary contributions. I hope people enjoy these. I can’t really recommend they buy the book, but the food is spiritually harmless, if taken in moderation.
My area is enjoying 93% humidity right now, according to Weather Underground. Is that a typo? Let’s see. It’s 87°, and the heat index is 111°. I think that means it feels like 111.
I suppose there are some whiny people who would have the temerity to call this weather unpleasant.
This is one of those days when, as soon as you go outside, you feel like you’re swimming. That’s how thick the air is. You could fashion it into a club and hit someone with it. This is what like would be like, if the world were a bowl of warm oatmeal.
The bugs are overjoyed. They’re partying. If there’s one thing I really enjoy, it’s setting a heavy saw up in the driveway, putting a heavier piece of metal on it, putting on earmuffs and glasses, turning the saw on and running it with one hand, and having a dozen mosquitoes buzz up and attack me in some area (like inside the glasses) I can’t reach with the free hand. While sweat begins to puddle in the glasses and obscure my vision.
That’s living, my friends. It’s the kind of adventure you will never see on a commercial featuring the World’s Most Interesting Man, because it is the opposite of interesting.
By the way, rumor has it this man saved Chuck Norris’s life with a partial beard transplant.
It’s kind of fitting that this guy hawks beer, because when you drink enough beer, you become convinced that you, yourself, are the Most Interesting Guy in the World. Or at least the most interesting guy on the floor of the bar.
“I always drink beer. And when I do, I prefer what’s on sale.”
Not funny unless you watch beer commercials. They were the only thing I ever enjoyed about watching pro football. I haven’t seen a game in forever. A few months ago, I learned that the World’s Most Interesting Man was still on the air, and it amazed me. That’s how out of touch I am, with important stuff everyone else knows about.
I am sorely tempted to get a horizontal band saw. A guy in my area is selling a good one at a reasonable price. I don’t know too much about these things, but I know enough to suspect that I was an idiot to buy a dry cut saw instead. A horizontal bandsaw is like a miter saw with a band blade. Apparently, you raise it, stick the metal in, turn on the saw, drop the handle, and go eat cookies while it cuts. When it goes through the metal, it shuts off. And you’re in front of the TV, and you’ve had cookies.
I am told that I could cut my 4″ bar of 1018 steel with one of these things in around 15 minutes. SOLD! Especially if I don’t have to be there when it happens.
I’m not sure what I’ll use the dry cut saw for if I get this thing. It gives gorgeous cuts, but if you have a mill and a lathe, you should be able to clean up any cut a band saw makes.
The dry cut saw might turn out to be my first idiot tool buy. My sliding miter saw may be the second; I rarely use it. Oh well. I got great prices on both of them. If you’re going to buy something you don’t need, you should at least get a bargain.
Weird things keep happening to me. It seems like I had a rough spot in my life for a few weeks, and now it’s over. Things were going great, but not as great as the weeks preceding this time. I took care of a few obligations that I felt might be holding me back, and now I feel like I’m on top again.
Last night I saw Perry Stone on David Cerullo’s show. I flopped on the couch because I was tired, and I turned the tube on, and there it was. It turned out to be very helpful to me. This has happened three times this week. Twice I turned on the tube, not knowing what was on, and found myself watching a show produced by the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews, which is one of my favorite organizations. I am highly suspicious of many ministries and programs, but I like Perry Stone and the IFCJ a lot. I don’t know of any problems with David Cerullo. People complain that he makes too much money, but that’s not sufficient to upset me.
Stone was talking about Joshua. He led the Hebrews into the Promised Land after the death of Moses. I had forgotten the details. He had the priests carry the Ark of the Covenant across the Jordan, and the waters stopped and stood up like a wall until the Hebrews all got across. Stone believes this (like the flood) is symbolic of Christian baptism. He also suspects this is the place where Jesus was baptized.
He pointed out some things I had not heard before. He said the Jewish priesthood in Herod’s time was not fully legitimate, because it was no longer hereditary. The Romans chose the high priests and forced them on the Jews. John the Baptist was the son of a real priest. Stone believes he therefore had the authority to baptize Jesus and initiate a change from one type of priesthood to another. It’s a long story. You can find out about it in Stone’s DVDs. He also thinks Caiphus, the Roman-approved high priest, may have been aware of the significance of the crucifixion, and that he may have been a sort of silent co-conspirator. Every reasonable, informed Christian knows that blaming the Jewish people for the crucifixion is evil and stupid (It was God’s idea, not man’s), but it may be that even the Jewish leaders many of us routinely criticize were not what anti-Semites portray them to be.
Stone is going to be on Cerullo’s show again tonight.
Many Old Testament stories prefigure New Testament events. For example, the Passover prefigures the crucifixion. Shavuot is a shadow of Pentecost. If I understand Stone correctly, Joshua’s leadership in Israel prefigures Jesus’s leadership in the lives of individuals who live in the kingdom of God while here on earth. Joshua and Jesus even had the same first name; it was just translated differently in different books. And if you see what Zechariah says about “Joshua,” you will see that the connection is even stronger. It’s not even clear that he has the earthly Joshua in mind.
I used to wonder exactly what God was trying to tell us with the stories about the cities Joshua destroyed. It wasn’t done purely by human force. For example, Joshua had the people march around Jericho once a day for seven days, with seven priests blowing seven horns. At the end, the walls fell without human effort.
I think I have an inkling what this is all about. Seven is the number of the Holy Spirit; it’s in the Bible over and over, notably in the structure of the menorah, which has seven lamps fueled by olive oil, which is also symbolic of the Holy Spirit. I think the story of Jericho symbolizes what believers are now expected to do. We are supposed to fight our battles primarily with God’s strength, not our own. Even after we find our way into God’s kingdom, there will be strongholds (like Jericho) we have to get rid of, if we want true dominance. We don’t just flail at them with our puny human tools. We use faith and prayer and so on. And God honors that by moving them for us.
I decided to read Joshua last night, and I found a very startling piece of information in it that relates to my own life. Lately I’ve been asking God to set my family’s feet on the throats of those who try to harm us. Not so we can destroy them, but so we will have the power to resolve things properly. I thought I had come up with this metaphor on my own. But when I read Joshua, I found it there! Look at Joshua 10:24:
And it came to pass, when they brought out those kings unto Joshua, that Joshua called for all the men of Israel, and said unto the captains of the men of war which went with him, Come near, put your feet upon the necks of these kings. And they came near, and put their feet upon the necks of them.
You can imagine how I felt, seeing that. My life is like that of the Hebrews. I’m trying to walk in the kingdom, but there are things I have to conquer through faith and obedience, just as they conquered their enemies through faith and obedience. And in prayer, I happened to choose the image of an action that Joshua and the Hebrews actually performed while living out events presaging the challenges I (and other Christians) would face.
Too strange. But very welcome. It’s hard to ask for a faith-builder any stronger than that.
Christians can’t fight unbelievers on their own terms, because unbelievers have no rules. They will do or say anything to defeat us. They cheat. And our rules are very restrictive; we are encouraged to avoid tactics the rest of the world considers legal and morally right. We have to get connected to God’s power in order to turn back those who attack us. That’s how Jesus got away from the mob in Nazareth. It’s what destroyed Jericho.
This is the difference between merely being saved and living in the kingdom of God. I think so, anyway. So I am working on improving. Sure seems to be paying off.
The Bible does make sense. The problem is that it is being explained to us very slowly, over centuries. We have to believe that the parts we don’t understand yet will eventually be made clear to us.
I think I’ll throw some brownies together for the Fourth of July thing at church tomorrow. I was planning to do some machining, but three or four batches of brownies would be a more profitable product at this time.
A Form Shall be an Abomination to Thee; Neither Shalt Thou Fill in Bubbles
If I ever get in real trouble in this life, it will probably be because of a form. I am allergic to forms. I cannot fill them out. They lie about me after I send them in. They never have the right blanks for me to say what I need to say. And it gives me ulcers just to look at them.
Today I had to deal with forms. I have some loose ends in my life that I want to clean up. Debts and so on. Nothing big, but I want a clean slate, for spiritual reasons.
The reason I let things go is not that I don’t recognize an obligation to pay. I just hate the forms. So there have been times when I’ve let minor obligations rot, much longer than I should have.
Today I caught up with a tax return I was supposed to file in another state. I thought I was going to have a big bill to pay. I didn’t know if I had the information to fill the forms out correctly. I was tense. I was filled with dread. I wished I could be anywhere else, doing anything but this. I worked on this stuff for almost three hours.
I owed one dollar.
I’m not kidding. It’s less than the postage for the return. I have no idea what the revenue people will think when that check comes in. I hope they don’t think I’m making fun of them. The debt came out to one dollar, and I figured it was better to pay than to let it go.
This reminds me of the times I’ve received bills for $0.00 and similar sums. I never question them. Do what I do. Write a check for $0.00 and send it off. Don’t bother the bureaucrats. They can’t fix it, and you just embarrass them.
Bureaucrats are always hard to figure. Life is full of petty bureaucrat-managed obligations that can end up causing you real grief. Sometimes being honest can cause problems. You know what they say about letting sleeping dogs lie. It is possible to ruin your life by letting a bureaucrat know you owe fifty cents. The followup can be unbearable, and even the bureaucrat may wish you had left it alone. On the other hand, if you leave things to fester, you may eventually discover that a horrible bureaucratic nightmare was secretly gestating the whole time. Like, you’ll try to buy a house, and when you apply for a loan, they find out you forgot to return a library book in 1968, so your assets get frozen and your car gets impounded. Or you get sterilized or something.
I am clearing these niggling items out of the back of my life’s sock drawer. I only have one or two more to attend to.
Okay, I tried to find a great Bible verse about this, but when I searched, this is what I came up with:
12 They shall lament for the teats, for the pleasant fields, for the fruitful vine.
Who doesn’t lament for the teats? I sure do. Whatever that means. But that’s not what I was looking for. That’s Isaiah 32:12. I was looking for Isaiah 32:17:
17 And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.
18 And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places;
19 When it shall hail, coming down on the forest; and the city shall be low in a low place.
20 Blessed are ye that sow beside all waters, that send forth thither the feet of the ox and the ass.
I saw that this morning in a book published by the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews.
It’s true; the better you behave, the better you’ll feel. And the more God will do for you. I don’t just mean your acts; faith is a behavior.
There is nothing like peace. It is the best thing you can get. When you have peace (and you’re not crazy or on drugs or sadly deceived), it means your life is as it should be. I only know of one place to get that feeling.
You know what? There are no forms in heaven. I’m sure of it. I can’t prove it. But how could it be heaven if there were forms there?
I can provide useful input on a lot of this stuff, but you’re on your own with the teats.
I spent part of the day doing what I felt to be spiritual battle. I have found that some things I’ve done, while moral and legal and ethical by ordinary standards, seem to be lacking by Christian standards. I felt a sudden and powerful compulsion to get on top of one of these things today.
The Bible says we perish for lack of knowledge. I think that is true (“Good IDEA, O Lord!”). We accept salvation, and then many of us let it go at that. Meanwhile, the enemy is not so lazy. He takes advantage of our ignorance and leads us into behavior that seems okay, but actually leads to defeat and stress and loss of power over our lives. For example, maybe you think it’s a good idea to stand up to your parents and fight with them when you disagree with them. Or maybe you’re a wife who thinks it’s okay to improve your husband by lecturing him and refusing to let him lead. When you do things that are against God’s way, you are planting landmines in your future. Going to heaven and living in power are two different things. If you want things to work out while you’re here, you have to learn how to think and behave.
This is what I have come to believe. The Bible makes much more sense when you realize that sins forgiven in heaven can still cause you a terrible problems on earth. Life isn’t supposed to be perfect, but it’s supposed to be good. And you have to mature in order to know what “good” means. Paul was flogged and stoned, but he was also thrilled with what God did with him. Meanwhile, Michael Jackson had fame, extreme wealth, and adoration, but he was so miserable he practically lived on antidepressants and sleep medications.
The Bible says the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. If that is true, then once in a while, if you’ve ever done anything wrong, you should expect your mind to vomit up a landmine you need to clear. You should expect God to show things about yourself that you need to fix, in order to stay close to him and be protected and taken care of. As any parent can tell you, correction is a big part of guidance.
Today has been a great day, but it has not been a fun day. I’m going to go relax. I feel so much better now. I’m getting the garbage out of my life.
Before I close, let me add something I just received in a comment:
Steve.
This was mailed to me by our church administrative assistant. It was written by Natalie, a former church member. I figured she wouldn’t mind if I passed it along:
My two year old niece, Morgan Thomas, is in the Seattle children’s hospital. She had a sore ankle, a fever, and was vomiting. My sister took her into the emergency room yesterday where they spent all evening just to find out they needed to take her to the children’s hospital. The doctors performed several tests and found out that she had a staff infection that settled in her joints. Early this morning they could not stabilize her blood pressure or her fever and they moved her into ICU. I spoke with my mom and she said that they won’t have the culture results back for two days but the doctor started Morgan on antibiotics hoping that this is the right medicine. My brother in law just accepted the Lord last week and my family believes it is a spiritual attack on my sister’s family. The other large problem was their insurance is not going into effect until tomorrow. There are several serious things that need prayer right now…
The first one being Morgan’s life. This is a life or death matter and we want prayer for the doctor’s wisdom in which medicines to use. Please pray that God will reign and that the enemy will not prevail in this situation. It has taken years of praying and interceding for my brother-in-law and now that he is a christian, his family is being spiritually attacked in many ways. Please pray for peace and strength for my family as well as the healing of Morgan. I would also like prayer that the financial situation will get worked out and that the insurance company may be willing to work with my family.
–Brad
If doing evil plants bombs in your path, then doing good plants a crop of good things you will harvest later. If that is the case, Brad’s comment is a present to everyone who reads it.
More news RE Dan Howell’s sister Mary Ellen. A while back, her family was requesting prayer. She has advanced cancer. This is a real person, not an Internet fiction. Here’s a new message from Dan; it was relayed to me this morning:
Mel had a rough day today, Pray that God will give her a restful sleep. I will be leaving to go home on Wed, it will be hard to leave my sister. I know that her work here is done, and I am so Blessed to see the fruit that she is bearing. Thanks to all who have lifted my sister up for the 3 years.
Mel had asked to see the new home that she and Mike just bought last week. The new paint and the way that it is arranged..So if the Good Lord will see fit, in the morning, Hospice House has arranged transportation to the house. Lets just Pray that she will be up to the trip. It will be rough on Mike, so please hold him high in your Prayers.. the reality is finally setting in with him. The Dreams that they shared are slowly dying out and he has come to finally realize that. He is hurting bad now. All I can do is hold him and cry with him. I just wish that more of you could have met Mike.. AWESOME is all that I can say.
His frame of mind is mature and exemplary and right. Still, I’ll keep praying for a miracle. I don’t pray for people to go easily. I pray for healing, and that if anything in their or their family’s history has caused the problem, they will be made aware of it and helped to repent and have the condition undone. I remember the story of David, when his son was ill. He prayed for healing, and he fasted and repented and asked for mercy, until the boy died.
I’m all for praying for people’s suffering to be eased, but that’s not really the same thing as giving up and asking for a pleasant passing. Your suffering can be eased, regardless of whether you get a healing.
People don’t always get their threescore and ten, even with prayer. But I see no harm in praying for healing as long as there is hope. I have experienced miraculous healings of minor problems (I’ve never had a major problem), and I know I’m not the only one God cares enough about to help.
Googling around, I see the courts are getting steamed up about “faith healing.” I wish people would quit using that phrase. It sounds like “snake oil” or “time shares” or “pyramid clubs” or any number of other shady phenomena. The issue seems to be whether parents have the right to deprive their kids of medical care while relying on prayer.
I don’t think this conflict should exist. If the courts say your kid should have treatment, and that treatment is not somehow inherently sinful, why not give in? You can pray in a hospital. Besides, medicine often works. You can pray for food while driving around looking for an open drive-thru, can’t you? Maybe by avoiding provoking the courts, you are giving unto Caesar. Nothing wrong with that.
I can understand resisting if a doctor wants to cure your child using parts from an aborted baby. And you shouldn’t buy a kidney taken from a prisoner or a slumdweller in India. You should not let an unhealthy attachment to earthly life–which is fleeting, anyway–drive you to harm others in order to stick around a little longer. Presumably, if you’re a believer, you expect the hereafter to be an improvement, and it’s where you expect to spend the bulk of your existence. You shouldn’t cling to this life as though it were the most important thing in the world. It’s not. But I don’t think things like antibiotics, surgery, and chemotherapy are evil.
Twice in my life, I have been convinced I was going to die. Well, three times, if you count a strange experience I had, which probably fit the description of an anxiety attach. Twice I dreamed I had driven off an elevated roadway, and I looked through the windshield at the ground coming up at me, and I was positive it was over. There was no way out.
It wasn’t terrifying. I wasn’t exactly pleased, but I didn’t lose my composure. I had a very solemn feeling, realizing this was a very serious moment. One phase of my life was over–there was no point in continuing to think about the concerns of that phase–and I was about to start the next. I was curious, and I was nervous, because I didn’t know exactly what to expect. Part of me was relieved that I was about to leave a somewhat putrid world behind and enter a world where everything was right. I looked forward to seeing the change. I was not so alarmed that I would have harmed someone else or done something evil in order to be spared. I knew that what was happening to me was normal and good.
I hope that when my time comes, I react the same way I did in the dream. I hope I’m mature enough to accept death as part of life. I hope I am true to my belief that it’s a birth into a different and better world. I don’t want to go screaming and begging, like an addict who won’t go to rehab. If you’re a Christian, you have to believe that you can’t grow unless you die. This life is like a diaper; you mess it up, and then you mature, and you go on without it. It’s like a beater car you buy a teenager, so he’ll know what he’s doing by the time he gets something better. You can’t hang onto it in an irrational unwillingness to grow up. That’s what death is, for a Christian. Growing up. The earth is a playpen. The real world lies in front of us. Why would you want to stay here too long? I want a few more years, but I don’t want to be a hundred and fifty years old, hooked up to tubes, full of implants and transplants, barely aware of what’s going on. Not when I could be healthy and well and active in God’s presence. Insisting on remaining here would be like being a 50-year-old high school student.
One of the sad things about having no faith is that you are likely to think this short, corrupted, pain-filled life is all there is. You might consider yourself entitled to do absolutely anything in order to stay here. That’s a dangerous mindset. Soon, in societies where God is considered a fantasy, we’re going to see doomed babies conceived solely for the purpose of providing parts. I’m sure there are places where you can buy parts taken from the living, under circumstances amounting to coercion. We already think it’s okay to kill an unborn baby simply because raising it is an inconvenience, so the devaluation will continue, and the rationalizations will probably gain the force of law. People in such societies will be like the Canaanites, who killed their firstborn sons, pickled them in jars, and put them in the walls of their houses to insure good fortune.
You’re going to cross over some day. It won’t be long before it happens. Whether you’re two or ninety, it will be sooner than you think. Your body is deteriorating all the time. It never stops, and it gets faster as you age. Sooner or later, this life will cease to be rewarding. You should try to determine what comes after, and you should limit the things you are willing to do to postpone the inevitable. That’s what I think.
I admire Dan’s attitude. He is having a very painful experience, yet he will not abandon God or accuse God of doing his sister wrong. It’s easy to talk about the way you should act in a crisis. He’s teaching by walking the walk, which is much harder. In the past, I’ve had the temerity to be angry with God, and it was never over something this serious. I was an idiot and an ingrate. I am grateful for Dan’s example.
As for me, I find myself in the enviable yet not always pleasant state of one who suffers as the result of answered prayer. I’ve been asking to be made aware of the things I do wrong, and the things my family has done wrong before me, and over the last few days, I’ve had some surprising revelations. I’m amazed to realize how badly I’ve acted while trying to do what was right. I asked for this, and I am thankful for it, but I can’t say I enjoy it.
I believe you have to let God clean you up in order to experience his protection, blessings, and guidance. The Bible makes that clear. And I want a better life. I want less anxiety and guilt, and I want protection from evil, and I want guidance and success. I want some good deeds in my account when I leave this life. But the cleansing can be a little like the scene in Rambo, where they bathed Sylvester Stallone with a fire hose.
I guess I say this every week, but church was fantastic today.
For the last four weeks, the subject was Philippians 4:8, which says we should try to think about things that are Pure, Praiseworthy, Lovely, Admirable, Noble, True, Excellent, and Right (my mnemonic again: PPLANTER). I’ve been keeping it in mind, but it wasn’t all that easy to apply.Try it. Think about something good for a minute. A couple of minutes later, you may be thinking about something horrendous.
Today, we got a clearer idea how to put it to work. Pastor Wilkerson listed three things that oppose the Philippians 4:8 attitude: contrariness, covetousness, and cynicism.
I’m sure glad no one has ever seen those things on THIS blog.
Shut up.
I guess I don’t have to explain contrariness. It means you have to be a pain in the butt all the time, instead of going with the flow. Here’s a clue that you are contrary. People call you “a pill.”
Obviously, you shouldn’t go along with people when you have a good reason to object, but that’s not what he was talking about. Some people have to be an obstacle all the time, just to look smart or feel important. I have heard wild rumors that sometimes people who post blog comments act this way. I have heard–don’t quote me on this–that if you Google some commenter’s names, you will find an endless number of argumentative and smug yet worthless and fundamentally wrong comments on other people’s blogs.
That’s probably just an Internet legend. No one would really do that. I certainly couldn’t name five such people off the top of my head. No, I could not do that. Don’t even ask.
Covetousness means you’re never happy with what you have. But you’re pretty sure you’d be happy with what other people have. I suppose it makes sense to say it contradicts the spirit of Philippians 4:8, because you can’t be thinking positively about the things God has put in your life, if you’re sure they stink compared to the things he gave your neighbor.
Cynicism–I am so glad I’ve never been guilty of this one–means you are suspicious of other people and have a negative attitude.
The notes we were given say, “He is a champion of innuendos, double meanings, and put-downs.” I may know someone that description fits. But it also says a cynic turns people against a person who tries to “think best.” That’s not me.
I know I’ve gone overboard a lot. On the other hand, I don’t consider myself a true cynic. A true cynic is a kind of bigot. You never get a fair shot from someone like that. I’ve been critical of people I thought were con artists and bloviators, but I don’t question the existence of good people. I don’t automatically assume people are lying when they claim good motives (unless they’re emailing me from Nigeria). But I could do better.
The message I took away from this is that I should quit being negative just for the joy of it. And I should work harder to see the good in people and things. I was working on that already, although it may be far from obvious.
On the way home, I heard some guy on the radio talking about our duty to submit to government. I thought that was interesting. I see two main goals in Christianity. First, you want to get eternal life, and that’s easy, because it’s a matter of asking and believing. Second, you want to live in the kingdom of God here on earth. Not so easy. You have to behave and pray and worship and study, etcetera. It’s like being an Orthodox Jew, only with better food.
This guy pointed out that you can’t be lawless and live in the kingdom of God. You have to submit to government. Here’s a depressing extrapolation that occurred to me: we should probably pay tax on Internet sales.
I realize the states themselves are responsible for the Internet tax problem. They choose not to provide a convenient method of paying, and enforcement is nonexistent, and in actuality, they are complicit in the whole business. Legislators routinely shout down efforts to reform the system, because they know everyone will hate it. You could make a very good argument that we are not obligated to care more about this than the states are. It’s like illegal immigration. The law says “do this,” and our lawmakers say “but we won’t help, and if you don’t do it, we won’t do anything.”
Still, the better choice is to look up the silly forms and pay. At least on big items. Arrgh. I would rather have God’s power flowing in my life than save 6%. I want my prayers answered. I don’t want to bring shame on the church. I want growth. I guess I can cough up 6% in order to keep from screwing that up.
My attitude about taxes is as follows. I have never hated paying taxes. What I have hated is saving receipts and filling out forms. I complain about high taxes all the time, because they wreak havoc on the economy and punish productivity and make for creeping totalitarianism. But I don’t get upset when I have to pay. Maybe I should, but I’m always so happy to know what I owe, I hardly care what the number is. I just want to get the check written and kiss the IRS goodbye for another year.
Next week the church is having a July 4 barbecue thing after church lets out. “Coincidentally,” Mike may be in town. I let him know. We started talking about how we needed to take some food. Mike came up with an argument proving it was our Christian duty to humiliate everyone else with our ribs, in order to keep them from having unrealistically high opinions of themselves. I guess there may be some flaws in his theory, but I think ribs would be a good idea. Not sure how many racks I can get in the Hoginator. I talked to one of the pastors today, and he confirmed that they were soliciting food. I might make four or five batches of brownies, since they can be made several days in advance. Cheesecake would be too decadent, and besides, people would get in fights over it.
I’d like to take some food, because I haven’t gotten involved with the church, beyond showing up. I feel like I keep taking without giving anything. Of course, I provide a little financial support, but there is more to supporting a church than writing an occasional check.
Is it okay to smoke ribs over a pan of beer and then take them to church? We may find out.
I hope Mike makes it down here. My diet is going well, so I think I can survive a visit.
I did not get to use the toilet knob I machined yesterday. Very sad. My dad’s boat guy had claimed the heads were so old it was dangerous to take the old valves off, but while I worked on one of them today, I decided to see what the story was, and the old valve screwed right out. Good, because it meant I could install a new valve. Bad, because the new aluminum knob was no longer needed.
And I just put a set screw in it! This is the first tapping I’ve ever done. I was all excited about fastening the knob onto the old stem, using my home-tapped set screw.
The toilets on the boat will be greatly improved by the new PVC valves I’m installing. Only a guy who installs toilets for a living would choose to put a frequently handled valve at the base of the bowl. Plumbing is a fine and honorable trade, but plumbers tend to be unbelievably dirty. A plumber will eat a sandwich with one hand while fixing your toilet with the other. Since I’m redoing it all, I can put the new valves above the bowl. Not optimal, but considerably less exposed to…whatever.
We got the generator running, with the aid of the guy who installed it. This is the boat’s third generator. You can’t kill Detroit Diesel boat engines, but the little motors that run generators have all sorts of problems that stop them in a hurry. The first Onan we had was balky when starting, and if it didn’t feel like cranking up right away, it was easy to burn up the starter. It also had a very expensive circuit board which could (and did) quit working for no reason at all. The second Onan was no better. Now we have a Westerbeke. Supposedly it’s much simpler, and it has no silly circuit board to blow up. Mating internal combustion engines with complicated electronics has caused a world of expensive problems ordinary people can’t correct, and I don’t think any of the problems it has solved could not be fixed by simple maintenance and common sense. As I understand it, a lot of the improvements in car longevity are due to improved metallurgy and lubricants; I doubt integrated chips helped a lot. Think of all the old slant sixes that ran for eons.
This generator has three fuel filters that I have become aware of so far. First, the Racor. This is a big aftermarket filter which is really more part of the boat than the generator. Then the spool-sized filter on the way into the motor. Then an inline filter farther downstream. I accidentally shut off a fuel valve, starving the engine until it quit, and I assumed getting fuel back into it would fix the problem. I also changed the spool-sized filter, simply because my dad wanted it done. We still couldn’t get the generator to stay on. The generator guy showed us the third filter, which–coincidentally–happened to be plugged up the same week I shut off the fuel by accident.
This is how boats are. You find a problem. You find the obvious cause. You fix the obvious cause. Then it turns out another cause has popped up at the same time, defying odds in a manner that would shame Susan Boyle.
I had to put off church until tomorrow. I didn’t want to leave my dad holding the bag. I’m trying to get this family running right, the same way I’d try to get a generator going, and I believe you have to treat your parents correctly in order to get the blessings going in your life. As the eldest (only) son, I think I have a special responsibility. I am supposed to be second in authority, now that my mother is gone. Feminism isn’t Biblical; neither is the idea that all siblings are the same. I don’t buy that modern nonsense. I think the eldest son still has added privileges and duties, so I am trying to do what I think is right. Running off to church with the generator problem still plaguing my father would be the wrong move. Sometimes you can offend God by trying to fulfill your obligations to him in the wrong way.
I’ve been told that this is the true meaning of the story of the Good Samaritan. I think Perry Stone said that. The two men who passed by on the other side and refrained to help were religious Jews, and they were headed toward Jerusalem. That suggests they were ritually pure and therefore afraid to touch someone who might be dead. They could become unclean and lose the right to participate in whatever was going on at the temple. The Samaritan was motivated by compassion, not his religious routine, and that was a good thing, because believers were expected to know that in an emergency, God valued compassion more than empty observance.
I wish that when I was young, I had understood more about the way people were intended to live. I’m glad some of it is becoming clear to me. It’s sad that I have no one to pass it on to, but if I had had kids at the usual time of life, I suppose I would have had little of value to impart to them.
We had a bad drought for the first few months of this year, but it started raining a month or so ago, and everything greened up fast. Looking around now, you would see no evidence of the problems we were having a while back. I hope life can be like that. I know it can. God can change things so fast, and so unexpectedly; I keep my eyes open all the time. Most of the good changes that happen to me are gradual, but I wouldn’t mind a few quick ones, given my age.
I suppose everyone is writing about Michael Jackson today. Not me. All I can say is, I hope we were all wrong about him. I think he was a very sad figure. The world gave him everything he wanted–instead of what he needed–and it destroyed him. Something for me to think about if I ever feel life has cheated me. The only thing worse than suffering adversity is failing to profit from it. If you profit from it, to a certain extent, it ceases to be adversity. If you just sit around feeling cheated, you allow yourself to be defeated twice.
That’s actually worth remembering. Someone smarter than me must have whispered it in my ear while I was praying for more tools or something.
People love to say “God told me this” and “God told me that.” Me, I am rarely confident enough to make that statement. I could attribute something stupid or wrong to God; I would not be the first. On the other hand, I could end up taking credit for something he told me. What do you do? Search me. I suppose the best course is to consider what Gamaliel said. If a thing is from God, it should become obvious eventually.
I have the garage air conditioner running already. I am bound and determined to make a handle for the valve on the starboard head. I’m going to run over to the boat, apply bleach to anything in the head I might conceivably touch or even come near, and try to determine exactly what I have to make.
This is where Chinese measuring tools come in handy. There is no way I’d take my Mitutoyo or Helios calipers and clamp them to a toilet part. But Chinese…hey, that’s what they’re made for!
I should break down and get a Harbor Freight digital. Seven bucks won’t kill me. Most of my measurements will be right on target if they’re within ten thousandths, so most of the time, I am not going to need a really good instrument. And besides, whenever I mention calipers and accuracy, wise guys pipe up and tell me real men use micrometers.
I can’t decide whether to use brass or aluminum. I think either will be strong enough. Brass will turn green, and aluminum will look like…aluminum. Neither will corrode enough to matter.
Whatever. I can make both.
Not sure how I’ll slice the brass off. I bought a 36″ rod (a drop at a very good price), and it’s 1 1/2″ wide. I think that’s the exact size of my spindle hole. I doubt I can cram it in there for parting. I can always fire up the dry cut saw.
I hate to cut the brass. It’s so pretty, just the way it is.
The smartest thing would be to use stainless. All I have is 304, so it will rust a little, but it shouldn’t gall up against the valve’s stainless screw the way the old handle did. And I think electrolysis may be what destroyed that handle. It will be less of a problem with a stainless handle.
It looks like I may eventually “need” a hydraulic press. If anyone can tell me what size is good for piddling around in the garage, I would appreciate it. I don’t think I’ll be using this a whole lot, so it may be okay to go small and save space.
Later today my presence will be required for a sea trial, to see if the boat’s starboard engine still runs hot. Should be fun.
One of the things that irks me about perceptions of conservatives is that we are somehow considered less compassionate and less generous than liberals. Of course, these things are not true. In fact, the opposite is true. We give more to charity. We are more likely to offer our lives on the battlefield. We support churches with more generosity.
Here’s some information from Charity Navigator, which is not a political organization:
Who gives the most in America: conservatives or liberals?
A. There is a persistent stereotype about charitable giving in politically progressive regions of America: while people on the political right may be hardworking and family-oriented, they tend not to be very charitable toward the less fortunate. In contrast, those on the political left care about vulnerable members of society, and are thus the charitable ones. Understanding “charity” in terms of voluntary gifts of money (instead of government income redistribution), this stereotype is wrong.
The fact is that self-described “conservatives” in America are more likely to give—and give more money—than self-described “liberals.” In the year 2000, households headed by a conservative gave, on average, 30 percent more dollars to charity than households headed by a liberal. And this discrepancy in monetary donations is not simply an artifact of income differences. On the contrary, liberal families in these data earned an average of 6 percent more per year than conservative families.
These differences go beyond money. Take blood donations, for example. In 2002, conservative Americans were more likely to donate blood each year, and did so more often, than liberals. People who said they were “conservative” or “extremely conservative” made up less than one-fifth of the population, but donated more than a quarter of the blood. To put this in perspective, if political liberals and moderates gave blood like conservatives do, the blood supply in the United States would surge by nearly half.
One major explanation for the giving discrepancy between conservatives and liberals is religion. In 2004, conservatives were more than twice as likely as liberals to attend a house of worship weekly, whereas liberals were twice as likely as conservatives to attend seldom or never. There are indeed religious liberals in America, but they are currently outnumbered by religious conservatives by about four to one.
It’s bizarre. We are taken to task repeatedly, simply because we don’t support mindless, incompetent, counterproductive giving that is the result of governmental coercion. The fact that we give freely, on our own initiative, receives no press. And journalists don’t like to point out that a big percentage of the “generous” liberals who vote for government handouts are likely recipients of the money in question. How is it generous to vote for the government to take someone else’s money and give it to you?
Still, I wonder if we do enough. My impression is that Satan steps in wherever he can find a moral fault with believers. Marxism, which is unquestionably Satanic, got a foothold because the lives of the lower classes were so wretched. They weren’t getting an even break. Had the upper classes treated workers better, it would have been harder to motivate them to generate social turmoil by fomenting revolution. Like Fred Smith (founder of Fedex) once said, no company gets a union unless it deserves one. Perhaps that’s an exaggeration, but maybe the principle is correct.
I wonder if private giving is everything it should be. I tend to doubt it. For example, I’m fairly sure tithing is uncommon. If it were the rule and not the exception, a substantial percentage of American incomes–maybe five percent–would be going to churches. And they wouldn’t know what to do with the money; they’d spend much more of it on social organizations. Charities would be swollen with capital.
I wonder about this because we have a political crisis on our hands. People who have no idea how economics works are blindly electing leftists who will eventually ruin us with their false generosity. And maybe we could reverse this trend if the needy were being served better by private organizations.
On the other hand, much of what is characterized as “need” is actually greed. It may be that perceived need always increases with the availability of handouts. Maybe increasing our giving will increase demand. But there’s a difference between private and governmental handouts: private handouts can be distributed with competence. The government doesn’t care if you deserve money. They only care if you vote. Private charities consider themselves stewards. Like Hebrew National, they answer to a higher authority.
Interesting question.
Whatever the answer is, I think we should all hope to be as lucky as the much-maligned Dick Cheney, who has given millions to charity. Not only did he and his wife make huge donations; they made donations that were huge in proportion to their total income. I would love to approach the Pearly Gates with something like that on my resume. It must be wonderful to find yourself in a position where you’re able to do that much good.
The odd thing about all this is that conservatives are doing a pretty good job of giving, and liberals are not, yet the political fortunes of liberals are waxing while ours wane. And one diabolical result of the move from private to governmental charity is that the givers are losing their blessings. The Bible makes it clear that we are not to give out of coercion. It apparently pleases God very, very little when a government forces people to do charity. So we are still losing the money, but we are not getting the full benefit of giving.
Another problem is that people feel entitled to government money. It therefore corrupts them. They become spoiled and ungrateful. When you have to go to a private entity or an individual for help, you know you’re getting a favor. You realize help is not certain. That has to be less corrupting.
I am not generous by nature. I had to be taught. Here (again) is a helpful passage from the Psalms; I had it printed on a Cafepress mug so I would have it in front of me:
1 Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.
2 The LORD will preserve him, and keep him alive; and he shall be blessed upon the earth: and thou wilt not deliver him unto the will of his enemies.
I consider that a set of promises, and I cling to it. I don’t believe God would put things like that in scripture, yet would not be willing to back it up. God does not give lip service. The Bible also says that when you give to the poor, you lend to God. And God always pays interest. You get something in return, and it appears that the best way to characterize it is to call it God’s favor. It’s not just a monetary transaction. You may be blessed with money, but the only thing you can be sure of is that he will take notice of you and watch out for you, as he did in the case of Cornelius the generous centurion. That’s how I see it at this time.
I don’t know if generosity can save conservatives from political failure, but I am sure it can save individual Christians from the curses that hit us as a nation. I suppose we are reaching the point where that will have to suffice.
Sad news from Aelfheld, who blogs over at Operation Enduring Service.
He has a friend named Dan Howell. Dan is a firefighter in Beaumont, Texas. His sister Mary Ellen has cancer. It’s in her lungs and lymph nodes, and it has gone to her brain. Right now she is also fighting an infection. The family is asking for prayer.
Someone was asking for a dolphin recipe. I’ll tell you what I like to do with these tasty fish. I adapted the traditional Cuban recipe for fried snapper. Hmm…might as well give you that first. It’s called “pargo entero,” or “whole snapper.”
Take a whole snapper. Clean it. Scale it and remove all the pointy bits. Cut the head and tail off if you want. Make a series of slashes from top to bottom on each side about an inch apart, down to the bone. You can slant them toward the back of the fish as you go down, if you think it looks prettier.
Egg white will make everything stick better, so apply it if you like. Rub salt and crushed garlic into the fish. Pepper too, if you want. Now cover it with cracker meal and fry it in hot oil. Peanut oil is standard. Some people mix parmesan cheese into the meal, but it can burn. Get the fish nice and brown.
Dolphin are bigger than most snapper. For a big fish, you make fingers, which are strips about as big around as a finger. It will be better if you throw out the dark meat. If you do this with a snapper or small grouper, you don’t have to skin it. Don’t eat dolphin skin.
I serve this with lime wedges and tartar sauce. Wonderful.
Deep-frying is best. If you have a turkey fryer with a basket, go for it. Otherwise, pan-fry with enough oil to cover the fish halfway.
Church was wonderful yesterday, as usual. I couldn’t go on Saturday, so I was really ready. I got there earlier than usual. I’m always amazed at the quality of the music. I don’t know where they find these people.
They’re still teaching about Philippians 4:8, which is all about keeping your mind on good things. I made up a mnemonic for the NIV version. “PPLANTER.”
Pure
Praiseworthy
Lovely
Admirable
Noble
True
Excellent
Right
The key is to remember that P is the double letter. You’ll go crazy if you get confused and try to think up two R words.
One of the associate pastors talked yesterday. One of the things he talked about was the problems men face with lust. That’s a tough one, because these days, most women think it’s appropriate to dress and behave provocatively, even at work. Somehow we have turned that into a virtue. Women don’t understand the male mind; if they did, they’d realize what a stupid strategy this is. It leads to problems for both sexes.
He talked about the difficulties men face in certain situations, such as beach outings and web surfing. He said sometimes the best thing is to take a break from the Internet. That’s a great idea. You can’t be tempted if you’re not online. When I got home yesterday, I decided to take his advice. I’ve been overdoing the Internet, so it seemed like a good move. I didn’t turn the computer on once, and I didn’t miss it. I had a very relaxing day, and it was productive as a Sabbath. I got out my Complete Jewish Bible and went through Philippians, Ephesians, Colossians, and some other stuff, making notes in the margins.
Ephesians is very useful. Christians don’t have a clearly defined set of laws to follow, but this book lays out very good guidelines for our behavior. Chapters 4 through 6 will save you a lot of page-flipping. I guess I could make a simple list of the guidelines this book provides. You don’t always have to read the text itself to get the benefit.
The Internet is loaded with temptation, and lust is only part of it. Internet rage is a real problem; Christians are not supposed to be angry and abusive, but try blogging or joining forums, and you’ll see how hard it can be to avoid getting drawn into the corrosive spirit. Then there is gossip. Some of the biggest websites are proudly devoted to it, and it can cause you real problems. The ancient Jews believed it caused houses to literally rot. The “leprosy” referred to in the Bible was not always a human disease. Sometimes the word “leprosy” is used to describe this rot. And how about covetousness? Internet shopping is a fantastic resource, but a lot of people abuse it. It has helped me get into a number of rewarding hobbies, but from time to time I’ve bought things that were pretty stupid, and some people shop just to fill time. Worse, they buy on credit, spending money they haven’t earned yet.
I have a rule about shutting down the PC at 8 p.m. I am not doing a great job of following it, but I’m going to buckle down and get serious. At that time, I should be spending time with my birds or doing something else of value. I’ve been getting to bed early for a long time now, on the theory that nothing I need to be involved in happens after ten o’clock, and I’ve been proven right. Abandoning the web in the early evening is also a good idea. I should quit even earlier.
I suppose it would be a violation of Philippians 4:8 to fail to point out the positive things about the Internet. Let’s see.
1. Biblegateway.com and other sites let you browse your favorite version of the Bible online. That’s very useful, and because you can cut and paste, it helps you share what you find with others.
2. It’s easy to donate to charities online. I have a list in my sidebar. Two favorites: World Vision and The International Fellowship of Christians and Jews. World Vision will let you choose the gift you give, and they’re not all temporary fixes. You can give things like giving pigs or fruit trees to poor families in Africa. Or vaccinations. Right now, they have a deal where you can donate money for medical machinery and get matching funds to multiply your cash by 14. The IFCJ will move a Jew to Israel from a place like Ethiopia or the former USSR, for $350. You can change someone’s life permanently for a relatively small amount of money. You can save up until you’re ready, or you can partner with friends. You may have doubts about giving people temporary handouts, but when you move someone to Israel, it sticks.
3. A number of ministries have sites where you can download podcasts and videos. Perry Stone has all his TV shows online, if you’re a prophecy buff. Try Voice of Evangelism. And there’s a big site with tons of canned sermons from various people: Sermonaudio.com.
And of course, there are places where you can go to get prayer. Oddly, this site has become one of them.
I got a little out of hand while I was trying to learn about and acquire machine tools. I had to spend a lot of time looking things up and asking questions. It got me in the habit of spending too much time online; I just realized this yesterday. Now I’m more up to speed, so there is no reason to sit glued to the monitor all day.
Got two fresh prayer requests. I can’t believe I’m developing a reputation for taking these. Actually, one isn’t that fresh. I neglected a few emails over the last week.
1. A while back, reader Ruth requested prayer for someone named Sarah. You can see the post here. Sarah has breast cancer, and it has invaded her brain. She is not a Christian. Her mother asked for prayer for healing and salvation. Here is part of a recent report:
Sarah is doing good for her condition. She has cancer in the brain which they are treating first. She has started wearing her wig. Her companion is still with her and supporting her. L___ S____has had a fund raising campaign, you may have seen it in the Pilot, to send the family on a dream vacation. She has a doctor that is loving and encouraging. In his words “There are three types of healing, medical healing, miracle healing, and the healing of death.” He has been very straight forward with here but offers encouragement. Asked her if she would like him to meet with her kids, which she did. For someone without insurance, things are going very well. Still a very sad situation.
2. Second, the father-in-law of a friend of mine has some cancerous skin lesions. I don’t know what type, but he is asking for prayer. Generally, you don’t have to worry much unless you have a melanoma and you don’t jump on it right away, but it’s possible to have real problems with basal and squamous cell cancers. I think his name is Carlos, but I asked for confirmation. New information: Gilbert.
That’s it.
Guy from a machining forum sent me some steel, and it arrived today. I may try threading! I can’t wait! Even though it’s a pretty unimpressive thing to do.
I have kind of an odd prayer request for you today.
Yesterday I got my hair cut. My barber asked if I had read about his brother in the paper. He showed me a newspaper article about a guy who looked a little bit like him. I assumed he was kidding about this guy being his brother. The man in the story had lost 300,000 pounds of live coral to thieves.
It really was his brother. And this is a big deal. As it was explained to me, aquarists pay $8.00 per pound for live coral, and people who sell it keep it offshore in federal waters, on bits of sea bottom that are allotted to them. He had been cultivating this stuff for five years, and now it’s gone, and it’s the end of his business unless it’s recovered.
At first, I thought it was a joke, but it’s not. It’s terrible. So maybe some of you will join me in praying the coral is found and returned, and that these two brothers will credit God with it and turn to him.
Also, I am pleased to report that my campaign of psalm memorization goes well. I’ll give you the list of psalms I’ve managed to master: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 15, 23, 34, 37, 41, 63, 101, and 141. I’m about to wrap up Psalm 9. You probably thought I wouldn’t follow through with this. I admit, I have missed more than a few days, but I’m doing okay.
It’s wonderful to know this stuff. In the Bible, God promises things, and he gives us guidance, and he warns us about problems we may encounter or cause. It’s all as fresh and relevant today as it was in ancient times. Much of this material is expressed in the psalms, so if you memorize them, you come to understand what God will do for you and what you have to do for him. That brings power into your life. The Bible is like the Constitution. If you don’t know what’s in it, you may fail to get the benefits it confers on you. If you do know it, you can have faith in God’s promises, causing them to be fulfilled, and you can avoid provoking him.
Over and over, I am startled by the good things God does for me, and the way my prayers are answered. It’s funny, but he often does exactly what I ask, and I’m so conditioned to expect the neglect and punishment I deserve, it takes me a while to realize a prayer has been granted. Even when God gives you precisely what you ask for, you can fail to see it unless you’re paying attention.
A few weeks back, I started feeling that, at last, I was walking in God’s blessings. My family has always been under a curse, and I’m very accustomed to it, but lately I have felt my back straightening up. I have started to feel that it’s safe to be less defensive and to expect good things. It’s not an easy thing to face. After you’ve spent several decades being blindsided and cheated and sandbagged, it’s hard to stop bracing yourself as though waiting for a storm to pass.
It can bring tears to your eyes when you see God turning toward you and coming through for you, after half a lifetime of losing when it seemed you should win. I guess this is how a person would feel after being healed of paralysis or blindness. It overloads your understanding.
To me, winning doesn’t mean great riches or earthly power. It certainly doesn’t mean fame. I want a family that works. I want to succeed at the things I do. I want health and reasonable prosperity. I want to have hope and confidence. I want a little purity in my life. And contentment. I believe God wants all these things for the vast majority of us, and that we can get them through faith and obedience. If there is a lack in your life that you just can’t get God to fill, it must mean there’s a blessing that will come from it.
I am conscious of things I need to do in my own life, to help the blessings flow. I have to watch out for self-righteousness, which can take the form of scorn or schadenfreude. I have to be as patient and forgiving with others as I want God to be with me. I have to squelch lust. The Internet is a minefield, in that regard. Even well-meaning people I know will sometimes send funny emails featuring naked women. Before the Internet, that kind of thing really was not part of my life. It’s amazing how the web funnels sins like lust and gambling and hate into our lives.
I can’t expect things to continue to improve unless I continue to improve. That’s the bottom line.
I remember my trip to Israel, back in the Eighties. It was such an odd thing; a Gentile whose life was falling apart, being drawn across the Atlantic to spend four months in the Holy Land. From the minute I left Kentucky until I stepped off the return flight in New York, I felt as though God’s hand was guiding me. I was an even worse Christian then than I am now, but it was as if he knew this was important, as groundwork for something later in life.
I did things wrong. I arrived on a Friday. I didn’t tell Aaron I was coming. He was in Jerusalem, and I ended up on his former kibbutz near Afula. Then back to Jerusalem, where I sat in on yeshiva lectures–where I located Aaron by spotting his horrendous plaid boxers hanging on a clothesline. Then four months on the kibbutz next to his. Working in the grapefruit fields. Chicken houses. Date groves. Almonds. Sleeping on Masada; weekends in Jerusalem. Having a vision on the kibbutz. Witnessing strange behavior from people who seemed to have their strings pulled by spirits.
I was alone, but it was like a guided tour. I trusted God to lead me around and take care of me, and he did. And then I got home, and his guidance seemed to be gone. I tried to get it back by joining a church a few years later, but I got offended by prosperity theology and quit. Then I became a realtor. A college student. A grad student in physics. A law student. A lawyer. A writer. After 911 I began praying regularly, and after a few years, I found that God was willing to guide me again. Now I attend church. I participate in charity. Old sores are healing. New doors are opening. I feel like I’ve picked up the thread I dropped when I left Israel.
I wish I could tell other people how to get this, but I know I’m not ready or worthy to do it, and I know almost no one listens. I certainly didn’t. I was terrified that I’d become a fanatic and sabotage whatever progress I had made in the secular world. I guess I’ve done that, but none of that really belonged to me anyway. It was just bait, to keep me off track. “Vanity,” the Bible calls it. “Leasing.” Nothing I could claim as an eternal asset, or which could not be taken away from me by my enemies. The one you serve in order to get things can usually take them away when you stop serving him.
It’s working. That much, I can tell you. I hope what I write here will help some of you maintain or renew your enthusiasm.
Will someone please get Speed Date out of my life?
I have a Facebook account; don’t ask me why. I log in about once a month. Facebook has weird features called “apps” that help people annoy each other. One is called “Speed Date.” I do not understand how it works, but somehow I got signed up for it, and it likes to send me possible matches in the Miami area.
You can probably imagine how eager I am to make use of this information. If there is anything worse than an unsuitable woman you choose for yourself because you have no judgment, it’s an unsuitable woman a computer chooses for you, based on variables chosen at random, by the kind of well-adjusted males who work in the IT industry. Today’s menu item: Stestesteph. She lives in Miami and is 99 years old. I am quite sure she has been vetted thoroughly.
I keep getting these annoying matches in my email box. I thought I had deleted this “app,” but it still popped up today. I killed it again. We’ll see if it took. I killed a bunch of my apps. I was tired of waking up in the morning and finding 15 emails saying people I don’t really know had TAKEN THE “WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE DECONGESTANT” QUIZ or whatever.
It’s nice to sort of get to know people online, but the truth is, I don’t care what movies you like or whether your imaginary zombie can beat up my imaginary zombie. And I find it a little creepy when another man “Superpokes” me.
I got a couple of questionable friend requests recently, purportedly from women. One was from an English blond. In her Facebook photo, she wore a white tube top with nothing underneath. Am I a bad person for suspecting this is actually a fat guy who runs a phone sex business? Probably a grizzled Alexei Sayle lookalike who sends friend requests while lounging around in his living room, wearing only the kind of peculiar underwear European men think is normal.
Maybe it’s Alexei himself. I think times have been a little lean for him since “The Bride.”
The guys who pump out bogus Myspace and Facebook friend requests need to understand something. It has probably been 38 years since I realized that really attractive women rarely talk to me or even acknowledge my existence unless they want my money or, maybe, need me to throw water on them because they’re on fire. So when I get gushy friend requests from scantily clad girls named Brittnee or Suzee, I know immediately that I am being scammed.
If you want me to “friend” your imaginary girl, make her fiftyish and more than a little on the heavy side, and put a cat in the photo. Give her a wispy little moustache. Make her about as attractive as I am. I won’t call her for phone sex (or anything else), but I might think she’s real.
Oddly, drawing closer to God has made dealing with women less stressful, primarily by making 99% of them off-limits. I’m all done with non-Christians, and among Christians, I have no interest in the mainstream types who go to churches that preach homosexuality, watered-down Buddhism, and divestment from Israel. And since I don’t really know any women whose beliefs are compatible with mine, in practice, the pool has been reduced to a nice, relaxing zero. The big benefit there is that I get to treat women like men. I’ve often said that as far as I’m concerned, a married woman is a man; for me, she has about as much romantic potential as a hog. The more women you can exclude from your pool, the more women you can consider men. You don’t have to flirt or pretend they’re interesting. You don’t have to lend them money or do favors you wouldn’t do for men. You never have to dance or be subjected to dance music; that’s a huge blessing. You can dress comfortably and inexpensively. You can drive a plain white pickup truck with very few options. Seeing women this way really clarifies your thinking and streamlines your life.
It probably makes bad matches way less likely, too. The more you struggle to make yourself attractive, the less you are yourself. You can’t spend your whole life holding in your gut and pretending you care about whales and that you like Kenny G. I think you’re better off if the woman who chooses you (that’s how life really works) knows what she’s actually getting. And the marriage won’t be based on the sick, destructive idea that she is entitled to tell you what to be. In a relationship, the man is supposed to be the authority. How can you be in charge and do what’s right if you arrange your whole life to suit your partner’s highly dubious notions? If Adam were still alive, he’d have a lot to say about that.
I am wearing $15 cargo shorts and a $5 softball shirt I bought online. I buy lots of these shirts because they’re cheap and comfortable and reduce my sun exposure; I’d say I wear them four days out of every week. I’m about to go put on the great $39 tennis shoes I bought this weekend. I quit putting crap in my hair quite some time ago, and I threw out my stupid-looking upscale sunglasses, replacing them with polarized Ray-Ban aviators. My next car will be a cheap truck. I live in a fashionable city that attracts shallow people, but sooner or later I’m going to get out of here and get a place outside a town where there are still lots of peeling Bush stickers on the cars. At this point, if God wants me to have a wife, he is going to have to have an angel bring her to me tied to a handtruck.
If I pop up in your Speed Date emails, click “ignore.” It has to be a computer glitch.