Whither Thou Goest, I Will Go

Let me run some new stuff by you.

People like to tell us that a good Christian will put up with endless abuse. If people treat you like dirt, and they do not listen, you should stick around and suffer. Because Jesus suffered. Right?

As you know by now, I have doubts about that.

The book of Proverbs says that if you answer a fool, you may become like him. It says it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than in a big house with a brawling woman. Paul told us not to associate with wicked people. Obviously, you have to spend a certain amount of time with them in order to reach them, but that doesn’t mean you connect permanently. He said we were not to be unequally yoked in marriage. That should tell you something.

A few days back, I wrote about Matthew 10. Jesus told us that if a place would not receive our peace…our “shalom”…we should leave, and our peace would return to us. By “peace,” he meant our blessings, not just serenity.

I now think God abides by the same rules he teaches us.

In 70 AD, the Romans sacked Jerusalem and spoiled the Temple. Before this happened, according to Jewish history, the doors to the holy place in the Temple opened by themselves. This was in 30 AD, at around the time of the crucifixion. The Talmud says those present were alarmed by this event.

I believe this was God, shaking the dust from his feet and leaving, taking his shalom with him, just as he has advised us to do.

God had done this before. The ark was once located in Shiloh, but God abandoned Shiloh and permitted the ark to be captured by the Philistines. This happened during a time of spiritual decay. The high priest Eli had two sons who were fools, and they lived in rebellion. Through Samuel, God told Eli how displeased he was, and that he would remove his seed from the priesthood. When Eli heard that the ark had been taken, the shock killed him. So much for nepotism.

There is also the example of the Babylonian invasion. Nebuchadnezzar was permitted to sack the Temple in 586 BC, and some speculate that the golden items from the Holy of Holies were used as vessels and for lighting at Belshazzar’s feast.

I have prayed about my own church. We now teach Steve Munsey’s crazy ideas, encouraging poor people to make special holiday cash offerings which have never been part of Christian or Jewish tradition. We teach secular self-help doctrine that has its roots in EST and the Landmark Foundation. We suppress the Holy Spirit. I’ve prayed that God would raise up a prayer army to cleanse the place. But the funny thing is, instead of fighting from within, he seems to be moving his army out. He may be shaking the dust off his feet and leaving.

People I respect keep coming to me and telling me how upset they are with what has happened to the place. They tell me people are being mistreated and used. They say the doctrine is wrong. They’re leaving, one by one. One was asked to leave. Others are just drifting away. Some who are still there are either planning to leave or strongly considering it. People I thought were 100% on board are shocking me with their tales of discouragement and disappointment.

When I pray for God to move the foolish out of the church and clean it up, I feel faith telling me it will happen. But what I see at this point are spiritual people, leaving.

We have monthly volunteer meetings. Hundreds of people are required to show up. They give us prizes. It’s a nice gesture, but after a while, it seems cynical. If you love us, why not treat us like you love us every day, instead of making us sit through award ceremonies at the dinner hour? If I work for a ministry, and the leader insults me in front of others, and if he has no gratitude and no humility, and if he won’t admit fault or try to fix things, how much is a trophy going to help? And anyway, they take the trophies back after a month, so really, it’s not just an honor. It’s an added responsibility. That trophy has to be back in time for the next meeting.

I’m getting off the point. I went to a meeting on Wednesday. People split off into groups, depending on where they worked in the church. The Armorbearers gathered in a side room. I looked around, and I realized only one of the old faces was there. The two older men who used to run the group were gone. The guy who succeeded them is at the new church I’m going to. Another no-show will probably be at that church Sunday. Others just plain stayed home. All around me, there were kids and newcomers. People who don’t know the job and who have no spiritual foundation.

Our leader was the leader of all the church’s volunteers. He was an Armorbearer, but he was also the pastor’s right-hand man. He led about 800 people. A few weeks back, the pastor asked someone how this man was doing. Clearly, he hadn’t been in touch with him for a while. For several years, they were inseparable. It amazed me to learn that the bond was broken. I haven’t seen him in weeks.

While I was typing this, a young man called me to tell me he understood my problems with the church. He started telling me all the disappointing things he knew about the place. His list was the same as mine, only longer. What does that prove? It proves I’m not the issue, and that the other people in the church aren’t suckers. They know what’s going on, and if I shut up, they’ll still be unhappy.

He said I had affected a lot of people, which surprised me. People are hungry for talk about the Holy Spirit, and they hear it from me. I wish they were hearing it from the stage.

He’s going to leave. He says he wants to stick it out, but he left his last church because he felt God’s presence at my church. If he did it once, he’ll do it again. Trust me. The sheep know their master’s voice.

Today I tweeted my feelings about the “seven blessings,” essentially saying it was bunk. Someone high up in the church surprised me with a Twitter message. He said I should talk to him, and that he knew I was unhappy. But he also asked, “Why bring division?”

That’s disappointing. I think the healthy thing is to ask, “Why are people leaving the church? How did we get here?”

I wasn’t sure about changing churches, but in any troubled relationship, there is an instant when you realize the deal is sealed. When you’re accused of bringing division, it’s a pivotal moment. A suspicious person would say I’m being put on the defensive, in order to avoid the issue.

The “division bringers,” if we have to have a name, are frustrated because the church is packed with people who are ready to know God. One good sermon could change hundreds of lives and spark a revolution. It’s not their fault they’re ignorant. They would just as soon go the right way as the wrong way. But if the leaders of the church think they’re doing everything right, what reason do they have to change direction?

I mentioned the tweets to a person who is not a Christian. He said I had hit them “in the pocketbook.” I can’t read anyone’s mind, but it’s a perceptive and troubling remark, right or wrong. I don’t usually get responses to my tweets. That much, I know.

I feel bad about abandoning all the good people I’ve come to know and care about. But I’m not a pastor. I didn’t go there to teach. I went to learn. I can’t run around in someone else’s church, without authority, telling people that half the stuff they hear on Sunday is wrong. I can’t sit on the truth, either. So where does that leave me?

What’s going to happen to all the kids I’ve gotten to know? Who is going to be there when they need help or guidance? I guess I shouldn’t worry. I’m not God. He managed to take care of people before I was born. I shouldn’t think too highly of myself. On the other hand, the Bible makes it clear that God will not solve the world’s problems directly. He expects us to do it, with his help.

If I’m not there, and someone falls unnecessarily, who will be judged? Not me, I hope.

If I leave this place at his urging, I can’t be judged for what happens after I go. That I am sure of. And if the new church helps me strengthen my faith, I’ll be able to do more in prayer than ever before. Prayer is more important than what you do with your hands and your mind. Unlike many religious leaders, I actually believe that. So I suppose everything is okay. When people move from Mexico to the US, they prosper, and they’re able to send stuff home. Maybe that’s how it will work if I move to a more powerful church.

Interesting day.