Oh, Right. CHURCH.

Today I tried a new church. New Dawn Ministries in North Miami. A buddy of mine–a fellow armorbearer–has already moved there. He was there to welcome me. I was permitted to pack heat in the service, so right away, things were headed in the right direction.

I’m tired, so I don’t want to write a lot, but I can tell you I’m going back next Sunday, and I’ve told my church’s armorbearers I may be leaving.

Critiques: the service was WAY long. That’s fine when you can account for the time, but sometimes a service will have long periods where nothing much is going on, and someone needs to wake up and make a transition to the next thing.

Actually, that’s the only critique.

Positives: these people really believe in the Holy Spirit. They don’t just say they believe, while pushing positive thinking and stuff taken from motivational speakers and corporate trainers. The preacher taught from the word, not Dale Carnegie. The Holy Spirit clearly guided him; the lesson he taught was something I really needed to learn, and it came at a very appropriate time. The church is insanely clean, and you don’t see crazy problems like broken chairs and doors that don’t work. The music ministry is freer. The pastor has time to talk to people, and he is serious about serving. They don’t nag about money. They didn’t lay a guilt trip on the congregation for not doing enough for the church. I felt bursts of supernatural faith going through me in the service, to the point where my head actually hurt a little, and this has continued since I left. Parking is very good. The drive is shorter than the drive to the other church.

Here’s a big positive: no Steve Munsey craziness.

The church is tiny; I would say two hundred people were there, in sanctuary maybe sixty feet square. It goes without saying that they don’t have a restaurant, a dance studio, an ice rink, a movie theater, and all the other time-wasting, money-wasting, secular junk you are likely to find in a megachurch. That makes me happy. Like Jesus said, you can’t serve God and Starbucks.

People spoke in tongues onstage. That was nice. They didn’t stand up there and ramble for no reason, but a few spurts came out from time to time, and I consider that very healthy. If you’re ashamed of the Holy Spirit, you are in real trouble. My church tends to suppress manifestations of the Holy Spirit, which is pretty odd, considering it’s Assemblies of God.

Until today’s service was over halfway done, I did not realize how fatigued I had become at my church. I felt as though a great weight were sliding off my shoulders. I was actually getting something from church, instead of giving, giving, giving, GIVING. I felt like a sled dog being given a bowl after going a week without water. It was the exact same sensation you get after ending a major ordeal that has sapped your strength. If you’ve ever settled a lawsuit, you know how I felt on the way home. I felt like sleeping! Tension had left me.

Sometimes you can be under stress and in great need without realizing it. I had expected to continue at my church for several months, and I wasn’t really disturbed by the prospect, but now that I know I don’t have to, I feel overwhelming relief. I realize I have to go back to New Dawn, and if my perceptions are confirmed, I have to stay. I have to get a friend of mine to go, too. I know a young man who is so fed up with my church, he’s about to snap. I don’t want to be a recruiter who tries to gut one church in favor of another, but I’m going after this kid. His need is too great to ignore.

I learned that New Dawn has armorbearers, and they would probably want me on the team. Sounds okay, but right now, I just want to go to church again. For months, I’ve been spending my church time working or shooting the breeze with friends. I want to sit there and soak it in.

I feel like a refugee. Really. It surprises me.

I saw a couple of blog posts I wrote a few years back. I see that I was much more supportive of my church’s policies and actions back then. The Holy Spirit has really opened my eyes, and on top of that, the church has deteriorated spiritually. A lot of the more sincere Christians are complaining or leaving. We are seeing a power shift from a sixtyish pastor to his thirtyish son, and the emphasis is headed in the MTV direction. Increasingly, youth is exalted, and ignorant, worldly young people with zero humility and zero judgment are getting more prominence. People like me are not appreciated. It’s okay to spend a limited amount of time in an environment like that, for a good reason, but like I said last week, Jesus told us to shake the dust off our shoes and take our blessedness elsewhere. No matter how I try, my church will not let me bless it. Maybe this one will.