Knowledge Plus a Rifle is Real Power

Man, I wish my new rifle parts would arrive.

I ordered plastic furniture for my Vz58 folder because the cool faux-wood furniture was not accessory-friendly. Broke my heart, but I had to do it. Now I’m scanning the horizon for the UPS truck.

I was all worried about 922(r) compliance, but I double-checked, and I’m in the clear. Not that I would care, if I heard footsteps in the hall. You can always put the original parts back on while you wait for the cops to arrive. After that, you have the Fourth Amendment on your side. Like they would care.

I keep thinking I should have an AK47 and an AR15, but it’s hard to get excited about new defensive rifles when you have a Vz58. The magazines hold 30 rounds, the rifle is as reliable as an AK, it’s light, the ergonomics are great, it’s short, the ballistics are excellent, it’s not stamped out of surplus Soviet rain gutters, and it looks cool. What more do I get if I buy an AK? Nothing whatsoever. I suppose with an AR15, I’d have the potential for better accuracy, and accessorizing would be more fun, and the AR15 is more of a well-finished, upscale weapon. But getting one ready to use would probably cost me over a grand, and then I’d have one more caliber to shop for.

I didn’t realize until last week that 7.62mm is actually an inch-based caliber. I was sitting around when it occurred to me that 7.62 is an integral multiple of 2.54, which is the precise number of centimeters in an inch. That means 7.62mm is exactly (down to the angstrom unit) 0.30 inches. Can’t be a coincidence. I’m always the last to know everything.

I still think a Tommy gun would be a great defense weapon. It’s heavy as lead, but it won’t kill you to carry it household distances, and the weight seems to make the recoil less objectionable. There isn’t much recoil to begin with, since .45 ACP is a pistol caliber. Put a 30-round magazine on one (or a huge drum), pop a laser on it, and wait for the boogerman to come up the stairs to your bedroom. If you can’t hit him with this thing, you might as well murder yourself and rob your own house, because someone is eventually going to do it successfully.

Sondra is blegging for a Tommy gun. I can’t believe it. A while back, she asked for advice on her first rifle, and my lone voice recommended the Tommy gun, mainly because it would look great in photos with Sondra. I figured I would be dismissed out of hand, but now she says she wants one!

Yes, it’s expensive, but it’s only about a hundred bucks more than a good Vz58, and if you reload, the ammunition is $5 a box. Come on, work with me. We want Sondra to buy this thing.

The pistol version is really cute. The barrel is short, so it’s more like a real Tommy gun. The new Auto Ordnance Tommy guns have longer barrels than the originals, except for special, government-regulated short-barrel models. Buy the pistol version, and you avoid this cosmetic problem.

I don’t see how you could use the sights. The recoil is pistol recoil, so you don’t need to shoulder it to deal with that issue, but I think it would be hard to hold a Tommy gun up like a 1911, so you could sight down the barrel.

I don’t care. It’s still cool. Put a laser on it! If the battery goes dead during a firefight, throw the gun at the criminal and crush his skull! Use the magazine as a blackjack!

I have all the rationalizations answers.

Have you ever been to Israeli-Weapons.com? I shopped for some Vz58 stuff there. Later, I went back and looked at it again, and I realized this is a very serious site. They sell tanks, for crying out loud. Now I know where to go when I need a vehicle to patrol the Central Florida compound and scare the fertilizer out of Jehovah’s Witnesses and meter readers.

You have to love the Internet. You can order a tank. You can order a live anaconda. You name it; it’s five clicks away.