Money for Nothing
February 18th, 2010Is it Wrong to Seek After Leasing?
I just saw the most amazing Craigslist ad. Some dude is giving away a pizzeria. He claims it’s equipped, but I see ads where he’s selling equipment.
The lease is $1000 per month. You just take over and start baking.
Arrggh.
ARRGGH.
I will not do this. Really.
That’s a tough deal to beat, though. Unless the pizzeria is next door to a plutonium spill, it can make money. And 0 is a very good price.
Say I take this offer. I incorporate so I have no personal risk. I invest three months’ rent. I spend maybe two grand to get the place running. I keep it open for a month. If it works, PROFIT! If not, an interesting month and a very manageable loss.
But HOMESTEAD? I wanted to get closer to church, and this is farther away. Homestead is a much nicer place to live than Miami, but I figure it’s 45 miles from church.
Goes to show what is possible, however.
I’m trying to get my church to buy a slicer. We need to sell toppings, and a slicer will enable us to prepare them. It will also make cheese way cheaper. Once we’ve been through a hundred pounds of provolone, the slicer will have paid for itself. That’s fewer than 300 pies.
Toppings are the secret to wealth. Slice a fifty-cent onion and charge $4.50 to put it on three pizzas. That’s a marvelous piece of arithmetic.
We also need a soda dispenser. It would kill our beverage costs, and we’d be able to charge the same amount and give free refills.
Pastor Marcus, who runs the church cafe, says we’re going to have a second cash register working on Sunday. This will mean volume. So instead of selling 8 pies (like last time), I’d like to shoot for 30. Then the following week, I’d like to make thin pizza, too.
I know a guy who wants to learn to make pizza. I’m planning to train him so I won’t be alone with the work. I hate to give up valuable baking secrets, but I’ve decided to trust God and give what I know to the church. Either someone will steal this from me and open a business with my ideas, or God will help me hold onto what he has given me. But I don’t feel right about hiding things from the church. Pastor Marcus doesn’t care one way or the other, however, so my decision isn’t firm.
How did life get so weird? How weird will it get later?
I’m dying to find out.
February 18th, 2010 at 11:08 AM
I don’t see anywhere in Scripture that the body of Christ is in the cafeteria business. Paul reminded the Corinthian Christians who were profaning the Lord’s Supper that they had homes in which to eat. Restaurants in todays world if if they don’t want to eat at home.
February 18th, 2010 at 11:21 AM
Have you read the whole Bible? The Apostles had to choose assistants (including Stephen) because they were busy waiting tables. Paul had a business, so he would not have to take money from the people to whom he preached. Peter had a fishing business, and he had employees.
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Where does Paul say you can’t eat at church? He never did. What he actually said was that we shouldn’t stuff ourselves and be drunk at church. Staffers, volunteers, and congregants fill my church all day, and they need food and drink. Should we force them to bring lunchboxes or cross a busy street so they can eat at a convenience store, where none of the profits go to God’s service? Should we make them drive down the road and waste their time and money at secular restaurants?
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Ministries make money from all sorts of businesses. They sell books, CDs, and DVDs. They sell shirts and cards. They sell communion kits, plaques, jewelry, anointing oil, trips to Israel, and lots of other stuff. They turn around and spend the profits on things like air time, staff salaries, mortgages, assistance for the needy, and transportation.
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It’s often surprising to see what sets people off. Fred Stone said a church lady once put him down for playing horseshoes with other Christians.
February 18th, 2010 at 11:56 AM
Steve has anyone at the church contacted the local Coke or Pepsi bottlers? Our local Pepsi bottler gives really good deals to non-profits. It may be something they would want to check into.
February 18th, 2010 at 12:25 PM
You might as well give your valuable baking secrets to the church. You’ve already given them to all of us! We shouldn’t stuff ourselves at church? Does that mean you’ll have to cut people off at the third or fourth slice?
February 18th, 2010 at 3:09 PM
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making pizza at church, as a side project. It’s not like you’re living by bread alone – there’s sauce and cheese too.
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You’re going to get stuck giving your weight loss testimonial on a regular basis.
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Pop is the devil’s beverage. Ok, not really, but it sure ain’t food. People have free will, though.
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As for stolen secrets: You can do something in this situation that wouldn’t work in the real world: Ask your friend to promise, with witnesses, not to steal your secrets.
February 18th, 2010 at 5:36 PM
Even if you give away your “secrets,” which you’ve certainly not jealously guarded here on your blog, Miami’s a big city. If he starts a pizzaria and does well, then that means you should have a shot at it too, and he’s been your guinea pig.
February 18th, 2010 at 5:56 PM
I’m not all that concerned about what people do two thousand miles away.
February 18th, 2010 at 6:15 PM
Yes, I have read the Bible through several times and as far as the apostles selecting individuals to wait on tables it was to provide for the fatherless and widows in the main.
Paul worked to provtde the necessities but he also praised those who once and again provided for his needs,
Peter, James, and John were in the fishing business but left their nets and followed Christ and and only went back to fishing when they thought hope was lost and nothing suggests that they ever returned to their previous occupation after Christ admonished Peter
While some ministries sell a lot of things our Church isn’t in the business of merchandising. And you don’t set me off as I probably agree with you 90% 0f the time.
February 18th, 2010 at 6:24 PM
“it was to provide for the fatherless and widows in the main.”
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That’s okay, but it’s not okay to provide food and drink to staffers, volunteers, and people who work in the building? Or do we have to do it for nothing? We can’t do that. There are only two options: charge, or quit:
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“Paul worked to provtde the necessities”
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That means what I said was correct. If he also accepted offerings, he’s just like my church, which will not stop receiving donations.
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“nothing suggests that they ever returned to their previous occupation after Christ admonished Peter”
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The example of Paul suffices, but when you claim Peter abandoned his business and his employees permanently and totally, you are making an assumption. And since he continued to live in Capernaum, by the shore of Lake Kinneret (Galilee), it seems a little presumptuous to assume he threw away the income from his boats. That would be a funny thing for a good steward to do.
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On top of that, the Apostles fished with Jesus, and he told them where to throw their nets.
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I’m a Christian, not a Buddhist. I have no problems with capitalism, especially when the profits go to a ministry and a charity.
February 19th, 2010 at 3:08 AM
I see the church of no no no is out in force. Don’t post this if you think I am out of line. But you seem to be getting a lot of naysaying lately. Funny that.