“Your Lifelong Dream Just Went on Craigslist.”

This is really funny. Mike is pulling his hair out because I told him we should open a pizzeria. I’ve been sending him Craigslist links for pizzerias that are for sale, just to torment him.

There are three pizzerias we used to frequent when we were kids. It turns out one of them–Mario the Baker–is for sale on Craigslist, so I forwarded it to him. He’s losing it.

There is no way we could buy this place. They want 1.4 million, which is like 20 times what I could consider investing. I don’t think haggling will get us where we need to be; call me a pessimist. “How does thirty thousand sound?” No, I don’t think so. But it’s fun to throw the temptation out there. I think Mike would sell his kids for parts to buy this place.

Mario’s was pretty good when I was a kid, but it’s not good now. It’s barely acceptable. The rolls are nice, but I would steer clear of the pizza. They have a second store now, near me. I tried it twice, and I haven’t been back.

Mike says he has talked to the owner. They sell a thousand dozen rolls a day. He says the old owner was a guy who collected toy trains, and he sold out to a Cuban family. That probably explains the bad pizza. I’ve only known of one really good pizzeria run by Cubans.

I was lucky enough to live near a lot of Italians when I was a kid. There were a lot of Mafia families a few blocks north of us. In North Miami and south Broward, there are a number of good pizzerias. South of that…you are taking your life in your hands. People down here think bad pizza is wonderful. They don’t know the difference. Send them to New York for a week, and they’d cry when they got back on the plane.