Handouts Welcome

Thanks to all who prayed concerning the thing I was working on, on Wednesday night. God came through, and it went as well as could be hoped. I wouldn’t say I had a giant victory, but that wasn’t a likely outcome anyway. What I got was the absence of a loss. Can’t explain beyond that.

Today I have some free time. I can’t decide what to do with it. I hope I don’t squander it before I figure it out.

I’ve been dealing with things for the church and my family, and I’ve had a few little problems of my own, and it has added up. Yesterday my dad pointed out that I never had any time for myself. That surprised me, because I’m not spending any time working on my career, and you would think I’d have tons of time on my hands, but he was right. I want a career in Christian books, and maybe Christian songwriting, but that won’t happen while I’m doing household repairs, getting bogged down helping with my sister’s illness, and being less than optimally selective in my church volunteerism.

My sister mentioned a book by John Bevere. I can’t recall the name. He’s a teacher and evangelist. He said something you probably know already if you’re a Christian, but he articulates it in a very clear way.

There are two books in heaven. The first is the Book of Life. You get into this book by accepting salvation. You confess your sins, you ask for salvation, you acknowledge that Jesus paid the price, and you get in. Great. But then you have to deal with the second book. That book lists your works. If they’re in good shape, you get rewards in heaven. Don’t ask me what the rewards are. I know the Bible mentions crowns, which don’t sound all that great, but I’m sure there is other stuff, and whatever it is, you want it.

If my sister related it correctly, John Bevere says a lot of people will get to heaven and find out that they have zip in the second book, even though they’ve done many, many good things for God. Why would this happen? Because they did things God did not want them to do. Maybe you become an evangelist, when God wants you to be a corporate CEO who has the gift of giving money and goods to the church and the poor. So you get little or no credit for the souls you’ve helped save. That’s the idea.

I think this makes perfect sense. Jesus talked about people who would come to him at judgment, citing the things they had done for him. He said some would cite miracles and works using God’s power, such as casting out demons. His response? “I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”

I think many people interpret this to mean that these individuals go to hell. I find that hard to swallow. Jesus saved a thief as he hung on the cross. This was a man who probably never did anything good in his life, and who was dying when he was saved, so there was no hope he would do anything good in the time remaining. Jesus saved him anyway. I don’t think God would save a person like that and then roast a pastor who was born again yet screwed up afterward. I don’t think “depart from me” means “fry in hell for eternity” in this case. I think it means something more like, “Are you kidding me? You never listened. You did what you wanted, not what I wanted. And now you expect a reward?”

The remarkable thing is that sometimes, God–apparently–permits people to use his power, even if they’re doing it stupidly. Jesus referred to this when he was making his point.

The high priest back in OT times wore a garment that had pomegranates (fruit) and golden cymbals attached to the hem. Some Christians believe these symbolized the fruit of the Spirit and the gifts of the Spirit, which would manifest themselves in the New Testament, via the baptism of the Holy Spirit. The fruit are character traits God puts in us through the Holy Spirit. They include things like love, compassion, and self-control. The gifts are supernatural powers, like the ability to pray in tongues and the ability to see spirits.

Paul talked about the importance of a righteous character. We are to be renewed on the inside, purely by God’s grace and power, so we are good in our inclinations as well as our actions. Some think that in 1 Corinthians 13, he was teaching the importance of acquiring the fruit of the Spirit–good character–as well as the gifts, and that he actually referred to the ornaments on the priest’s garment. Without the fruit between them, the cymbals would bang against each other and make a cacophonous racket.

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Look what he is implying. You can do things that unquestionably require God’s power, without pleasing God! This notion is found elsewhere. The Jews mention things like this in the Talmud, and the Orthodox view is that Jesus’s miracles were performed in rebellion, using the tetragrammaton, or the name of God. Some ancient literature says Adam had a first wife, Lilith, who disobeyed God and flew away from Eden, using the name of God for power.

Have you ever wondered how a pompous or arrogant evangelist could end up with a multi-million-dollar-a-month ministry while appearing to be completely and transparently consumed with greed and a desire for attention? Maybe this is the answer. Gifts without fruit.

The 37th psalm says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delighteth in his way.” And the Bible calls our own interests “vanity,” which is a word that refers to things that have no lasting value. The word “vanish” comes from the same root. It seems reasonable to conclude that if we do what we want instead of what God wants, our efforts are vain, because at judgment, the rewards will vanish. The things we thought were permanent will turn out to be passing illusions.

So it looks like it’s possible to turn your own version of God’s plan into an idol. You can be deep in rebellion while serving the church full-time, as hard as you can. You’re not supposed to find something you want to do and then do it for God. You’re supposed to use the Holy Spirit to find out what God wants, and you’re supposed obey while evincing Spirit-imbued good traits such as love and patience and generosity. You’re supposed to know God personally and communicate with him every day, and you’re supposed to pray constantly, asking for help and guidance even in the smallest things. You’re supposed to find out what he wants you to do.and then get him to do most of the work, through power he puts in you. And then you get the credit! It may sound selfish to pester God relentlessly and ask him for things, and it is selfish. But that’s how grace is. We have to humble ourselves and admit we are asking for much more than we deserve. We’re like Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket, eating his unwanted, undeserved doughnut not because he earned it, but because he doesn’t deserve it.

We are welfare cases. We are not supposed to earn. We are supposed to beg and take and be grateful and a little ashamed. That’s what I think. If you earn, you have a right to be proud, and you can say you deserve your blessings. That isn’t consistent with the New Testament. You have to make an effort, but you have to acknowledge that your effort is not what gets the job done. Like it or not, “the battle is the Lord’s.”

That’s how I see it, anyway. I want to take a look at John Bevere’s book and see if that’s his position.

Grace is a wonderful thing for the enemy to attack, because it sounds so lazy and selfish. “God helps those who help THEMSELVES!” “I’m not worthy to ask God to help me!” “I’m so pious and unselfish, I wouldn’t dream of asking God to clean up my mess!” “I can’t ask God to help me all the time; he has better things to do, and I caused my own problems.” How righteous those things sound, when the enemy sends brainwashed people to put out the fires grace lights. When he sends them out to protect his doomed kingdom from destruction and blight. It sounds so reasonable; no wonder it has been so easy for people to kill evangelists who taught it, while the murderers believed they were serving God. But the message of self-reliance is evil, and the message of taking handouts from God is righteous.

Speaking of handouts from God, yesterday I dropped down to the fifth notch on my new belt. I know eventually I’ll get the same kind of progress in every area of my character, and I’ll do a better job handling things like anger, unforgiveness, impatience, and so on. I do what I can on my own, but I know that when I see success, it will come from God, not my sad efforts.

Yesterday I tried to remember what it used to feel like to feel compelled to gluttonize. I tried to recall the sensation of compulsion, pushing me to take another bite. I couldn’t do it! That amazed me. I have an incomplete memory of it. I recall part of the sensation, but not all of it. I can’t explain that. It would be nice to get that effect with my other shortcomings.

Let the earners get what they can earn. I’d rather get what has been set aside for me as gifts. It’s humbling to realize that, but then humility is a gift, too.