One More Machine to Nag and Belittle Me

Unbelievably, I got my truck’s stereo installed.

Having the correct instructions makes a world of difference. Once the Crutchfield guy explained everything, the receiver slid right in. After that, the challenge was to get various cables installed.

1. Rear-view camera. The cable was already tied to the frame, but I only got to the underside of the cab, because I couldn’t figure out how to get it through the floor. After I took the floor console up, I was able to remove the 4WD shifter, run the cable up through the hole, and reinstall the shifter. The cable is pretty well mashed against the body, but it works. I guess I could fabricate a rubber gasket kind of a thing with a channel for the cable.

2. USB. I found an old cable and ran it behind the dash into the glove compartment. My technique consisted of shoving the cable through a hole over and over, until it emerged where I could grab it and pull it into the glovebox. You can’t teach this kind of skill. It’s just a gift. Some people would use fish tape or grabby things on telescoping rods. Real men prefer trial and error.

3. GPS. I popped the trim off the forward side of the dash, rested the antenna on it, ran the cable under it, stored the vast majority of it in an empty speaker hole, and ran the end to the receiver. The antenna looks almost like it was born there.

I don’t quite get the rear-view camera. It points downward, to such a degree that if a person stood behind the truck, it would only show him from the knees down. But maybe this is good enough to keep me from ramming parked cars and posts.

The GPS is fun. I didn’t want it, but of course, I will use it constantly. The voice is named Rebecca. That’s actually the name on the screen. As I have often said, female voices are appropriate for GPS, because men are so used to women telling them what to do.

I still have to get front-door speakers, and I have to put the speaker and tweeter in the right rear door. And I have to put in a new dash panel. But that stuff is really easy.

I am all done with Crutchfield. They do a fairly good job, but for under a hundred bucks, Best Buy would have done this in two hours.

I learned a few things. First of all, if you can do a procedure in the house instead of your car, do it. It took me maybe forty minutes to connect the Clarion wiring adapter to the one from Crutchfield. If I had done that in the truck, I’d still be there, ready for a padded room. Second, get a bag of cable ties before you start. Third, pay someone else to install the stereo. Did I mention that already?

I have two extra screws now. I know where one of them goes. The other, I’ll have to think about. I hope it’s not the main screw that holds the truck together.

Learn from my mistakes. I never do, but somebody should.