Chariot of the Godly?
September 23rd, 2009Large & Red
The baby is home. The mechanic said the only problem he could find was that the front brake pads needed to be replaced. He said the body work was excellent, apart from the dubious paint. That’s a relief. I was dreading returning the truck. I got him to recommend a shop to fix the paint.
I can’t get used to driving this thing. In Miami, nobody respects a turn signal from a small car. But signal to change lanes, while riding ten feet from the pavement, in a vehicle the size of a boxcar…people hit the brakes.
I think I should put a trailer hitch on it. It’s already set up for one. I have no plans to tow anything, but I think that big shiny ball will discourage tailgaters. My car’s bumper is soft plastic. No one is afraid of that. But a ball would take out a tailgater’s grille. Mike wants to send me a weight-distributing hitch. He says it will destroy any vehicle that touches it. I would take no pleasure in damaging another person’s car, but I think the sight of a big scary steel hitch will tend to keep other drivers alert.
I wonder how long it will be before I’m comfortable taking turns. As soon as the truck leans enough to make the springs move, I feel like it’s turning over.
I should go to Home Depot and buy some poop. I’ve been wanting to poop up the banana and plantain trees, but I didn’t want to put the bags in my dad’s poor SUV.
It’s just a used truck with one side that needs paint, but I’m thrilled to death with it. I can’t remember the last time I was this grateful for a possession.
Maybe I should run out and shop for a Jesus fish! I already emailed my pastor and let him know I have new hauling capabilities.
Bad cell photo:
Thanks for all the help in this protracted process.
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:20 PM
How about one of those nasty swinging hooks that tow trucks used to have in days of yore? As I recall, they had an intimidating bowling-ball sized ball attached to them, just above the hook. That would stop tailgaters. Especially if it “accidentally” came loose. Not that you’d need to intimidate them. Your bumper probably could take out their windshield! Of course, if you did install one of those hooks, I don’t know how you would haul poop then.
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:27 PM
I think that big shiny ball will discourage tailgaters.
I always wanted to superglue a coffee mug to my rear bumper for just the same reason.
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:53 PM
If you put a hitch on it you’ll really want one of these – http://tinyurl.com/ns6acg
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:54 PM
That would be fantastic. Right under the Jesus fish.
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:03 PM
Leave the paint ugly. It’s a truck, not a display piece.
Plus people will get out of your way even more the more beat-up it looks.
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:10 PM
Good for you Steve! nice truck, the hitch will absolutely help with tailgaters, I have an weight distributing hitch such as the one that Mike suggested people stay a lot further behind.
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:13 PM
I remember driving my dad’s old work wagon – mid 70’s Malibu in pure plain jane mode, which had been in several jobsite accidents so as to look sort of modern sculpturish.
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I got to the point where I barely looked back when changing lanes – signal, wait a second, and slide into the space that had opened up for it.
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 PM
Congrats! You need a “Stop global whining” bumper sticker for it.
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:53 PM
You might look into the giant hydraulic spike we use to move hay bales around. It’s kind of like having the Grim Reaper sitting on your rear bumper with a to-do list.
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:19 PM
Congrats! It’s beautiful! Can you help me move this weekend?
Somebody’s got to ask.
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:26 PM
Now that is what a pickup is supposed to look like.
You definitely NEED a weight distributing hitch. Carry several drawbars with diffierent size balls in a liquor box in the cab. Some sort or running board or chrome step would be good as well. As for paint, your pickup runs on diesel oil, not paint.
On a 4×4 it is necessary to run identical tires on all four corners. Replace all or none.
When I turn, I count six blinks and do it. Never had a problem yet and my pickup is somewhat smaller than yours. I have a ’92 F150 2wd Extended Cab.
Congratulations,
Gerry N.
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:04 PM
A Christian guy who loves to cook, owns several guns and drives a Dodge 4×4 diesel? I think we might be long lost brothers! If you move to the Pacific NW we could start a club – the whole “redneck” motif is better tolerated here.
Add the hitch, you’ll love the way that trucks tows! It would really be good at hauling the new BBQ trailer you should build for church potlucks/picnics. Just sayin’….
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:40 PM
Hi Steve, congratulations on the new truck! I think the Jesus fish and gun rack will be the perfect accessories for it.
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:55 PM
Now that is a superbad truck. I gotta get rid of my F150 and get a real one.
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:17 PM
When you say, “it’s already set up for one” (trailer hitch), I assume that it has a “receiver”, the 2″ square socket thingy under the rear bumper, is that correct? If so, you’re right that plugging a hitch stinger into the receiver will help with tailgaters. However, you’ll also bang your legs on the thing, even if you’re careful. That goes double for the hitch that you actually use for towing and has the ball all greased up.
Congrats on the truck!
Which Dodge forum did you join?
Oh! Be sure to get the catalog from these guys: http://www.genosgarage.com/ They’re good people to deal with, in my experience.
You should consider the ‘A’ pillar guages, they’re neat and about required if you do heavy towing.
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:33 PM
Gorgeous truck. Nice choice. 🙂
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:06 PM
I am swoonin’. That is a nice truck and I do love a man who drives a nice truck.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:37 PM
I can second the hitch-meets-shin-jumping-around-in-the-dark-with-angry-grunting thing.
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I used to leave my WD-Hitch on when dry camping (so I could easily tow the rolling waste-tank to the dump station), but I couldn’t take the purple-colored shins anymore. The other alternative is to leave the tailgate down when the hitch is attached, but that sorta defeats the whole driver intimidation thing.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 PM
Oh and for the Ichthus…how about chrome-plated heavy metal, for the heavy-metal beast your driving now?
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http://christianjourney.com/christian/emblems.html
(The first one on the page)
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Chrome seems to compliment the burgandy paint job…
September 25th, 2009 at 9:05 PM
What? You have a milling machine, and you’re not gonna make your own Jesus fish?
*humph*
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
September 26th, 2009 at 5:31 PM
What? You have a milling machine, and you’re not gonna make your own Jesus fish?
*humph*
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Why didn’t I think of that?!? Gives Steve a chance to try out his rotary tables, and practice fly-cutting and polishing and buffing…duh.
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I’d use 6061/6063 and then clear-coat the heck out of it. But that’s just me 🙂
September 27th, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Congratulations! We just got dang-near the same truck and Loooove it!
[I do so enjoy having to explain to guys why I’m so enamored of our Jake Brake. [and what it is] bwaahahahhahaaa!!]