Watch Your Back, Michelle!

I can’t find anything remotely interesting in the news today. I guess the Kanye West thing is fun. We already knew this guy was foolish, but it’s funny to see his hero call him a jackass. Have you heard the recording? Text can’t capture the contempt in Obama’s voice. He thinks West is a moron. A real idiot.

Obama has an amazing talent for alienating his allies. Maybe that’s why he wants to bomb Pakistan. I thought it was just ignorance, but it may be a fundamental characteristic of his personality.

I’m not sure why conservatives are criticizing Obama over this. He told the truth for once. That’s a huge improvement. Obama is one of the worst liars ever to occupy the Oval Office. His record of promise-breaking is right up there with Hitler’s. I’m glad he finally said something candid.

You have to wonder how this will affect his standing with young blacks. They consider Obama the messiah, but any successful rapper is a demi-messiah in their eyes, so they will have to choose sides. I don’t know what the reaction among non-celebrities will be, but I would expect rappers to be very torn. In order to support Obama, they will have to overcome the intense urge to close ranks.

Obama recruited West to push his message back in 2008. Wonder if there will be any more meetings! I’d love to be a fly on the wall.

I can’t name a Kanye West song. I consider myself lucky.

I wonder what it was like to live back in the days when celebrities were relatively civilized. I think we were a lot better off with Gene Kelly and Lauren Bacall than we are with Kanye West and Lady Gaga.

I see Jimmy Carter is calling Representative Joe Wilson a racist for interrupting Obama. Let me see if I can magically predict what Carter will say in his official statement. “This ugly outburst was rooted in hostility toward a black President, which is unacceptable, since the appropriate targets of mindless hatred are the awful Jews.” I guess I’m demanding, but I’m not interested in racism analysis from a notorious anti-Semite.

I got my weekly Winn-Dixie ad. This is a big event. I intended to buy and freeze a lot of wings last week, but I failed, so now I suffer from suspense as I root through this week’s specials to see if I still have a shot.

HOLD THE PHONE! PORK SHOULDER, 99¢ A POUND! YES! YES!

Wait…I was supposed to be looking at wings.

CHURRASCO, $3.99!

Dang. Focus.

No wings.

I wouldn’t mind smoking a shoulder for Sunday, but the Mancamp crowd is hard to pry out of its usual haunt, because none of them want to drive. After all, beer has been known to materialize at Man Camp. I guess you should realize something is wrong when you’re middle-aged and you have to plan your social events in a way that makes it unnecessary for you to drive drunk. I used to have to quit drinking two or three hours before I left. I don’t have as much interest in alcohol now, so I don’t have that problem.

Aren’t pigs fantastic? Pork is the king of meats, at prices paupers can afford.