Bizarro Marketing

September 2nd, 2009

Eat This at Your Tacky IKEA Table

I just read the story about Ben & Jerry’s renaming one of their flavors “Hubby Hubby,” in support of gay marriage.

This is bad, but then I already knew these people were nuts. I remember when Ben drove around the country with a very non-green propane-powered parade float behind his gas-guzzling truck, depicting a giant pair of pants. The idea was that these were George Bush’s pants and that they were on fire. Witty. I still can’t think of any lies that were pinned to George Bush. The yellowcake thing turned out to be true, and if he was wrong about WMD, it was a mistake, not a lie. Kind of impressive, if you think about it. Anyway, it looks like I’m going to have to cut Ben & Jerry’s completely out of my diet. No more Cherry Garcia. No more Heath Bar Crunch. Sad. Not that I needed it.

This was a bad move, regardless of morality. I think it’s fair to say that most straight men don’t want the image of gay snugglebunnies in their minds when they’re trying to eat.

Haagen-Dazs is better, anyway. Ben & Jerry’s is full of chemicals, or at least it was the last time I checked. Read the label.

I wish the local pizzerias and Chinese restaurants would come out in favor of gay marriage. I’d drop thirty pounds.

9 Responses to “Bizarro Marketing”

  1. Heather P. Says:

    Buy you a Cuisinart ice cream maker. You will not believe how wonderful home-made ice cream is and these new makers are really quick-none of the mess of the salt and all that nonsense either.

  2. aelfheld Says:

    I thought Ben & Jerry’s was owned by Proctor & Gamble or Unilever or some other soul-less conglomerate and the hippy-dippy founders had been put out to their pot pasture or something.

  3. Steve H. Says:

    That’s what the story says, but they’re still crazy.
    .
    Heather, I got one of those things. Plus an extra bowl!

  4. km Says:

    There is a real concerted effort to mainstream the sodomite “lifestyle”. Anything to undermine traditional morals.

  5. JeffW Says:

    I wish the local pizzerias and Chinese restaurants would come out in favor of gay marriage. I’d drop thirty pounds.
    .
    Aren’t you just making your own Pizza? That’s what you taught me to do…

  6. Aaron's cc: Says:

    Rabbinical commentary on the story of Noah and the flood is that God withheld destroying the world until two things pushed Him over: sanctification of male-male and human-animal weddings. That sodomy and bestiality existed wasn’t sufficient, but once made “official”, that was too far. It seems we’re heading that way as we hear many “cat ladies” and others refer to their pets as their “babies”. The only Divine promise was not to kill humanity again by flood.

  7. wormathan Says:

    I stopped eating B&J’s back when they dropped Oreos from the Oreo cookie flavors. They claimed that Nabisco was doing something bad or other – I can’t remember what. That was the final straw. I have not knowingly purchased any since. I grew up in Vermont and ate factory seconds in college for $1.25 a pint so I was addicted early on.

    They need a new flavor called Greenie Weenie.

  8. Steve_in_CA Says:

    In other news from: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6125277/Ben-and-Jerrys-renames-ice-cream-Hubby-Hubby-in-celebration-of-gay-marriage.html

    The lead line is:
    The flavour formerly known as Chubby Hubby will be sold under the playful new name for the length of September.

    I have not nor will I ever buy this stuff.

  9. Heather P. Says:

    http://www.benjerry.com/contact-us/comment.cfm
    Here’s a link to their complaint page. I hadn’t bought the stuff in a while(I think I stopped after the Geo. Bush thing), but did let them know I wouldn’t be buying any in the future. I think they will be surprised at how many conservatives & Christians bought their products.