Shoveling for Treasure
August 12th, 2009I am Wearing my X-Ray Specs
This morning I found myself thinking about a strange trait which is common among human beings. When you try to help them, very often, they respond by attacking you. You expect gratitude, and instead, you are treated like an enemy. This is why we have the saying, “No good deed goes unpunished.” It reminds me of a great lesson my mother taught me. She said to avoid lending money to friends, because they would end up resenting me! Sounds crazy when you’re young and you haven’t seen much of life, but she was absolutely right.
Sometimes in prayer I ramble about things like this, and today while I was doing that, I found myself asking who I knew who had had this experience. And I felt stupid when the answer came to me. The answer was God. This is what he deals with every day, and in the past, he has had to put up with it from me. Seems like every time I think about a particularly exasperating human failing, I immediately realize I have been guilty of it.
Observant Jews avoid putting young single men in positions of authority. Why? Because their knowledge is incomplete. People who have raised kids and dealt with spouses and provided for families know things cloistered, subsidized virgins don’t. In a recent comment, Aaron said this:
Interactions with people are frequent temporal opportunities to improve one’s relationship with God. Judaism, in requiring things like minyans and numerous communal requirements, is opposed to living like a hermit. We don’t have monks or nuns or gurus on mountaintops. There’s a saying “a tzaddik in daled amot”, “a saint within his 4 cubits”.
I tried to think of respected Biblical figures who were hermits, and I drew a blank. John the Baptist had disciples, and he attracted large numbers of people for ritual immersion. He didn’t sit alone in a cave all day. Some say he was an Essene, and the Essenes were atypical Jews who practiced celibacy and asceticism, but rumor isn’t fact. You can find references to the wives of Old Testament prophets. The priests married and had kids. Peter, who is considered the first Pope, was married. Jesus was constantly around people, except when he set himself apart for short periods. Paul had so many friends, he never shut up about them. Greet this one with a kiss. Send my love to that one. It’s half of the New Testament.
Some of the prophets ended up isolated at times, but I don’t know of any reason to believe that was how they normally lived. Maybe I missed something.
What does this have to do with helping people who are hostile? The answer is that parents do it all the time. One of the purposes of parenthood must be to teach us how to love people who don’t deserve it. And by “love,” I don’t mean “have affection for.” We often act against the best interests of those for whom we have the most affection. Consider stalkers. I use the word “love” to describe concern for the well-being of others, which is probably the only accurate definition. John 15:13 confirms this. You can love someone you dislike, and you can love someone while you’re angry at them. God himself gets angry.
I have been ungrateful and stupid, so I can’t let myself feel cheated when others give me the same treatment. This is the job we were created for. It isn’t always fun, but it always brings us blessings.
I guess nobody goes through life without changing a few dirty diapers. Parents get the worst of it, and I think they learn the most, but just about all of us find ourselves cleaning up after others at one time or another, and expecting thanks is just plain dumb. If you do it for gratitude and admiration, you are going to burn out fast.
God promised to give us wisdom, provided we asked for it. I ask. You may know Ronald Reagan’s anecdote about the kid who tunneled into the pile of horse manure, looking for a pony. I guess wisdom is what allows you to see the pony before you start digging.
May we all have good luck with our manure piles today.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:54 AM
Still praying.
August 12th, 2009 at 11:26 AM
“Observant Jews avoid putting young single men in positions of authority. Why? Because their knowledge is incomplete.”
This came up in Gran Torino, where Clint Eastwood’s character’s priest is a 28-year-old, who Eastwood openly mocks for his lack of experience.
August 12th, 2009 at 11:29 AM
I thought about that as I wrote this. That priest had not been subjected to all the temptations a soldier or a married man with kids faces, but he thought he could tell Eastwood’s character about life.
August 12th, 2009 at 12:07 PM
Gran Torino is a WONDERFUL film for so many reasons. It has some deep flaws, but they pale in comparison to its qualities.
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For me, being a parent has made being a husband immensely complex. I posted a few months ago about some of the difficulties I was having with myself – through the lens of my wife and son – for exactly this reason. But this difficulty has given me the opportunity to really see my flaws and better myself a great deal. My wife is constantly struggling with being a better mother as well. She worries that other moms express that they love being moms and have no problems, but I just point out that that’s what they’re TELLING you. She is a wonderful mother, but has her flaws, as all of us do, and she is learning to work on what she needs to work on rather than feel despair or, the opposite extreme, telling the world that’s how she is and that they have to deal with it. Nuh-uh.
August 12th, 2009 at 12:11 PM
Most parents also know that the diapers are a small price to pay. Like with faith, outsiders wonder why parents even bother when they get “nothing” out of it.
August 12th, 2009 at 12:43 PM
What a wonderful, thoughtful post.
I think Aaron nailed it. “Interactions with people are frequent temporal opportunities to improve one’s relationship with God.” If you can’t get along with people, how can you expect to get along with Him who created them?
Not that I’m in a position to quote Jesus, but didn’t he once say that “What you do unto the least of these, my brethren, ye do also unto me”? I think that makes the same point. To treat God well, you have to treat people well.
August 12th, 2009 at 2:36 PM
Great post!
You can learn so much about people when you gift them. Some will never forget and will surprise you with a gift worth many times what you gave them sometimes years later. Some will take lots and then feel slighted when they come back for more and you can’t give or don’t have anymore to give.
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The kids (and adults as well) that treat their parents bad most likely will be the ones that look the gift horse in the mouth. At least in my experience that’s one good indicator.
August 12th, 2009 at 4:12 PM
There are many saints in the early Church that withdrew from the world in fasts and contemplation. They generally were referred to as Stylites and some of them had huge followings of people who would come and listen to their sermons. Simeon Stylite was generally considered the first, and he had many disciples. Most seemed to be in the Eastern Orthodox church and a number were monophysites as well.
There is a great deal to be said for opportunities to make oneself more understanding when dealing with people, especially those that are not inclined to react to our kindness with good manners of their own.
August 12th, 2009 at 5:34 PM
There is a big difference between fasting and asceticism, which is a lifestyle, not an activity. I have never seen any support in the Bible for asceticism or its subset, celibacy, as a way of life for the vast majority of people. Paul thought his single status was a gift, but he admitted it was not for everyone. The overwhelming bulk of scripture is pro-marriage, so it’s safe to conclude that celibacy should be a rarity. Asceticism, in general, is probably heretical in the sense that it implies that God’s standards of righteousness need your correction.
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Jesus was celibate, but he was an extraordinary figure whose relationship to the church required the devotion of marriage. He had no place in his life for a wife. Generally, men can’t say that. And he was no ascetic, nor were his disciples.
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Imagine an ascetic turning water into wine, frequenting bars, and letting women rub perfume into his feet. It’s an absurd picture.
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I don’t accept the notion of “saints.” The Jews never had them, and the Bible never mentions them. It uses the word “saint” to describe ordinary believers. In addition, the prohibition on communicating with the dead is very clear. I think the notion that the saints were created in order to satisfy the pagan appetite for a pantheon is very credible.
August 12th, 2009 at 6:49 PM
As to the pagan pantheon, I agree with your principle, but then all of the Holy days are nothing more than pagan catchers: To wit, Christmas is Mithraist; Easter is a Fertility Rite around Ishtar (Isis) and Michaelmas was a response to Bacchanalia
As to the Jewish people never having saints…I wouldn’t be so sure about that. While the reverence may not last longer than the person;s lifetime, i can remember reading about Israel bin Eleazar in the same way as say, Thomas Aquinas; or Joel Tietlbaum in the same way as Ignatius of Loyola. There are certainly Jewish martyrs…and consider the example of Hebrews Ch 11. To not call those men and women saints of the faith is just quibbling over semantics.
Now, notice I used the lowercase “s”; they are saints not Saints.
August 12th, 2009 at 7:09 PM
Catholics and members of other old churches pray to saints, and while they say they don’t worship them, they have never been able to identify meaningful differences between worship and their behavior toward the saints. There is no Jewish homologue. Not even close. They won’t even pray to a messiah. When I say that, I don’t mean Jesus. They do not accord anyone the privilege of receiving prayer, except for Jehovah. They believe the messiah–presumably the greatest man who will ever live–will be a mere man, not divine in the slightest.
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A respected scholar or rabbi or high priest or prophet or martyr is nothing at all like a Catholic saint. You’ll never find a mainstream Orthodox Jew who prays to anyone but Jehovah. There are some outliers in Chabad who pray to the dead rebbe, Menachem Schneerson, but that’s about it.
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To my knowledge, the Old Testament contains only one example of anything resembling prayer to a saint. Saul had a conjurer bring up the soul of Samuel so Saul could ask him for help, and God cursed Saul and caused him and his sons to be killed, and Saul was stripped, dismembered, and displayed on a wall for that act of idolatry and necromancy. I think this was probably intended to reveal God’s attitude toward praying to human beings.
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In the New Testament, Jesus ascended and spoke to Moses and Elijah, but no ordinary mortal was permitted to interact with them.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:11 PM
catholics do not pray to saints; that is a lie. Catholics ask saints for their prayers; precisely as you ask you readers for their prayers. any catholic who does otherwise was not paying attention in catechism.
August 12th, 2009 at 10:55 PM
“Pray” means “ask.” Asking a dead person, or any other spirit, is generally considered praying. Courts still use the word “prayer” as a synonym for “request.” As in “prayer for relief.” Saul didn’t call Samuel God or offer a sacrifice. He asked him for help. Got cursed for it.
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The thing that defines prayer, in the religious context, is the fact that you’re making a plea to a spirit, not a corporeal being. You don’t have to call it God to be praying.
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My readers are alive, as far as I know. Can’t swear to it.
August 12th, 2009 at 11:26 PM
Your point about life experience reminded me of one of my favorite quotes (though I forget the quotee) which is: “The beauty of being single is that it allows you to maintain the illusion of being perfect.”
August 13th, 2009 at 7:35 AM
Og says: “any catholic who does otherwise was not paying attention in catechism.”
Og spent years in seminary. I almost went to seminary, not quite the same, but I was paying attention in 12 years of catholic education. I don’t think we were encouraged to pray to the saints in school or catechism (but yes to Mary), but it was never discouraged there or at home (“St. Anthony please help me find my car keys.” “St. Jude please protect us on our car trip.)
http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/patron00.htm
That said, I remember a few years ago, when a local influential and well respected Christian talk show host was rumored to have “gone catholic”. One day he had on two guests to “debate” whether we could know we were going to heaven. The catholic priest argued we couldn’t know, because we might lose our faith and thus not enter in. The protestant argued “once saved, always saved” I agreed with the catholic priest. I called in and asked the host if he was now catholic. He replied that yes he was. I asked about purgatory, praying to Mary and the other saints, and indulgences. He said that the catholic church didn’t teach that nonsense. I asked whether the priests and nuns were confused when I attended school. He said that locally, priests and nuns taught that, years ago, but it was wrong.
Two weeks later he moderated a public forum I attended, a debate between a catholic “sanctioned defender of the faith” and a baptist minister, as to which group, protestant or catholic, best reflected early Christianity. The priest then got up and defended praying to Mary (since she was closer to Jesus than anyone) and the saints (to pray in turn for us as og suggested), purgatory and indulgences!
It’s like there are two different camps in catholicism, both saying different things. Like democrats and health care.
I’ve also met some priests that are almost indistinguishable in belief from their protestant brothers. Last Rites for my dad, as given by a priest, had no candles, incense, stoles, latin but instead the book of James was read from. Just like a baptist.
I’m alive as far as I can tell. I’ll know after the next coffee.
August 13th, 2009 at 9:02 AM
If the denominations can’t agree on what the words “pray” and “worship” mean, there is no hope that we’ll ever come together on the issue of the saints. At least we agree on the essentials.
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Well, okay, some Catholics think the rest of us are all going to hell, but we agree that the sacrifice brings salvation to whoever is in line to get it.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:43 AM
There is a brief period of withdrawal consistent with scripture, the vows of a Nazirite. The period of time would be at least a month and at most a year.
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At the end of the withdrawal from wine, haircuts (most people don’t know that a Nazirite, technically, could drink alcohol like vodka, beer or whiskey — not that there was ever a hard liquor made in the Holy Land worth drinking), and contact with the dead (a Priest was permitted contact with an immediate family member, but a Nazirite, like a High Priest, was completely forbidden from contact with the dead) a Nazirite was obligated to bring a sin offering to the Temple.
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Why a sin offering? It was considered unseemly to abstain from that which God permits. The Nazirite period was supposed to be a temporary spiritual defibrillation. Like defibrillators, withdrawal isn’t recommended for prolonged exposure. What God wants from us is to build up to being able to walk His walk.
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No evidence that a Nazirite ever had the right to leave his wife, kids and job.