No Fish

I have once again graced the sea with my presence.

Today my dad and I hosted his ex partner, the partner’s son, my friend Pat, and Pat’s cousin Lazaro. All the guests were late, including Val Prieto, who still has not arrived. When we tried to leave the dock, the starter on the port engine refused to work. Lazaro and Pat fooled around, trying an old trick I had not heard of. They hit it with a hammer. It didn’t work, but once they told me where the starter was, I realized I had no excuse for not looking at it. I climbed into the engine room and went around behind the engine, on the port side, and started looking. While I was down there, someone pressed the starter button, and one of the electrical connections got red hot for a second.

I realized what was going on. I got people to pass me tools while I fixed it. One of the power connections on the starter was rusty. It’s probably supposed to have brass hardware on it, but it had a steel washer, and there was rust. When big DC connections get corroded, they heat up. Must be the increased resistance. I took two thick cables off, cleaned everything with a wire brush and a sheet of sandpaper, and put it all back together. And the motor started, and off we went. Being a Christian, I could not help praying for help with it, and I got what I asked for. I think sometimes we overestimate the amount of faith we need to get prayers answered. I’ve gotten good results on occasions when I found my own faith levels disappointing.

I believe God answers prayers about trivial things. Here’s an example that’s so reliable, it’s almost annoying. “Please help me find my hey there it is.” Happens several times a week. Exactly like that.

The part I liked best was when I was still down there, with the engine and two air conditioning units going, and everyone in the salon was talking about how great it was that the motor was running. Like it wasn’t particularly important if I ever got out. I yelled until they started reaching for tools, and I climbed out over a by-now-hot AC condenser, and we went fishing.

All we caught was a big barracuda. There was very little weed, and the dolphin were nowhere in sight. Even the barracuda got off before we could boat it. Which is good, because all we wanted was to get the hook back. You have to be brave to eat a big barracuda from the Atlantic Ocean. Look up “ciguatera.”

I had fun using my GPS. The boat has a huge one, but it needs repair. I took my handheld out, and it helped us avoid wandering around the ocean and wasting time and fuel.

Two members of the crew got somewhat seasick, and the fish were uncooperative, so we eventually gave up. Still, it’s always a privilege to get out there.

I guess atheists will ask why I didn’t pray for fish. Okay, I did. Happy? I still have a good batting average. And I don’t annoy people by filing lawsuits to keep them from praying before high school football games.

I highly recommend Banana Boat sunblock for kids. It’s not the only sunblock I’ve seen that features a claim that it won’t sting your eyes, but it’s the only one I know of that makes good on the promise. With other sunblocks, after about three hours, I start to feel like I’ve been tear-gassed. The sweat makes the stinging stuff in the sunblock run into my eyes, and once it’s there, only a shower and the passage of an entire day puts an end to it.

The GPS predicted the outcome today. It has a feature called “Hunting/Fishing,” and when you push the button, it tells you how it expects you to do on a given day. Today it predicted “Poor Day.” I don’t know that I want this feature. It’s almost insulting. And how does it know? It’s just an overgrown calculator with a satellite receiver. And what if it says “Excellent Day” and you still catch nothing? What a loser you are on THAT day!

This is like knowing your baby’s sex before it’s born. Some things should remain a mystery.

Imagine the disciples with a GPS.

5 Then Jesus saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat? They answered him, No.

6 And he said unto them, Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find.

7 And Simon Peter rebuked him, saying, Not so Lord, for verily, the Garmin hath pronounced a curse.

I wonder what features GPS will have five years from now. “Husband Income Predictor.” “SAT Prognosticator.” “Press to See if Your Child Will Grow up to be a Failure.” “First Year Wife Weight Gain.”

Just tell me where the next waypoint is. I can’t handle any more power than that.

Next time, there will be fish. But no loaves. And no, I will not hedge my bets by offering lambs to the GPS.