Why John Kerry Will Never be a Machinist

May 18th, 2009

Base Taking Shape

I know everyone on earth is dying to know how I did with the tool post base.

I just quit. I have one side of the base completely done, and I have one cut left to do. I’ll be going back soon. The reason I’m not doing it now is that I started having swarf problems. I foolishly chose to wear flip-flops this morning, and I figured I’d change them if the chips really started flying. A few minutes ago, I became aware that if I walked normally, I stood a good chance of driving the collected chips into the balls of my feet and the skin between my toes. So I stopped, got in the shower, and washed my feet.

The lathe is not the world’s greatest mill. If I had a real collet, a milling attachment, and parallels, we might be getting more impressive results. But all I have is one bolt, holding the workpiece down on two pieces of wood, and I’m holding the cutter in a 3-jaw chuck, which can’t be the best possible way to do it. If it were, it would be hard to sell collets.

It’s a real pain, getting the layout lines on the work parallel to the motion of the compound. I have to keep adjusting the work. Also, it’s impossible to repeat a height adjustment precisely. Maybe paper shims or wood blocks deform too much under pressure. Nonetheless, the base will look pretty good when I’m done, and it will work perfectly.

I’m glad I came up with this jig, because without it, I would have to find a machinist…in Miami…who understands ENGLISH…who would take on a miniscule job.

I may start up again tomorrow. Food time is nearly here.

6 Responses to “Why John Kerry Will Never be a Machinist”

  1. Leo Says:

    Just so you know, I am available for translation services. Of course, the plane ticket and hotel bill may be a poblem, but on the upside I know enough of the idiosyncratic Cuban vocabulary (carajo…m**rda…no mi digas…etc.) to get by well enough up there in Miami.
    .
    Just something to keep in mind.

  2. Tim Says:

    Just like you to half-ass every job. You don’t even have the sense to wear steel-toe flip flops? You’re going to need plenty of loofahs and magnets.

  3. Steve H. Says:

    I used up all my scrap steel, reinforcing my prototype for a bulletproof adult diaper.

  4. og Says:

    Flip flops are cuban motorcycle boots, right?

    Be careful. Hot chips suck.

  5. Ric Locke Says:

    Totally off topic, because you haven’t posted about brewing lately:

    How to Brew Beer under straitened circumstances.

    Regards,
    Ric

  6. Leo Says:

    I never liked bulletproof diapers. Oh yeah. They stop those troublesome penetrating wounds that bleed so badly but they don’t do anything for the impact injuries which I have to say are very very painful.
    .
    Of course, maybe if you included some kind of reactive armor that would take care of that problem. Be kind of exciting too.