Those Poor Stupid Flyover People
April 2nd, 2009Resourcefulness is Fodder for Ridicule
Today Drudgebart links to a story about a guy in Detroit who sells raccoon meat. In a photo, he holds a sign reading “Fresh Coons,” and it has his phone number on it, with a “4” turned backwards. Drudge and the Detroit News didn’t even bother blurring the phone number. I would hate to be this man today.
Detroit is a hellhole, by all recent accounts. For the last 20 years or so, it has been described as a doughnut. A middle containing nothing, surrounded by suburbs. Life in urban Detroit got so bad, everyone who could manage to go, left.
I remember reading a story about it in The New York Times Magazine. Detroit contains a lot of Arabs, and one group is referred to as “the Chaldeans.” They come from Iraq. It may not be correct to call them Arabs, because they generally belong to the Roman Catholic church, and they speak Aramaic. According to the story, the Chaldeans were hated in Detroit because they opened businesses in the inner city and made money, while the people around them went to seed.
The story told of a family of Chaldeans who owned a store. When they needed to make bank deposits, they would take assault rifles and, essentially, undertake a short armed mission to reach the car right behind their business. They had no choice.
The story about the raccoon hunter says Detroit is down to 900,000 people, from 2,000,000, and that with the people gone, animals have moved in. So “Coon Man” Glemie Beasley is able to supplement his income hunting animals within the city limits. He also hunts rabbits and other animals.
I don’t know what to make of this story. This guy is doing something smart and productive. He’s killing pests and turning them into food and profit, and the story is sure to subject him to ridicule. I have to wonder what his black neighbors are saying to him today, after the newspaper ran his photo and identified him as “Coon Man.”
The story isn’t too bad, but the accompanying video seems patronizing. Charlie Duff, the young columnist who wrote the story, watches and acts up while Beasley butchers a dead coon. It seems pretty clear that he thinks it’s incredibly funny that anyone would eat a raccoon.
My dad used to hunt coons. He didn’t eat them, though. He said he put a bite in his mouth once, and by the time he finished chewing it, it was as big as a lampshade. My mom’s parents ate possums and coons and groundhogs, when they felt like it. They didn’t have to, but there was no reason not to, either.
As I understand it, you’re not supposed to shoot a possum. You catch it alive. It will roll up and play dead, and then you–I guess–put it in a sack. Then you pen it up and feed it corn meal until you think the carrion has passed out of its system. And when you cook it, about half of it is grease.
I haven’t eaten any possums. I couldn’t tell you how much of this is true.
I think what Beasley is doing is fine and dandy, and it’s a little weird that we’re expected to laugh at it. I’m not sure why shooting a coon is funnier than popping a cow in the forehead with an electric bolt. I’ve often thought that if Obama succeeds in screwing up the country to the point where the food supply is messed up, I’d want to get good at killing the unsuspecting squirrels that plague this suburb. Squirrels are very tasty, and they serve no purpose except to destroy fruit and electrical transformers.
I guess if we had had Youtube during the Depression, people in the country–who lived well on farm animals and game–might have put up hilarious videos of sophisticated New Yorkers lining up to eat watery soup and bread made from sawdust.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:24 PM
When I was a kid, my Dad, who wasn’t a hunter, took me to a “Rat, Coon, and Ham Supper”, put on by the local conservation club. IIRC, the “Rat” (Muskrat) wasn’t all that good, but the Coon was fine. OTOH:, Monroe, MI is noted for Muskrat meat.
I have little direct experience with wild game as food, as I don’t hunt, but my wife and I were invited to a recent wild game dinner, hosted by a church in Monroe, MI. There were about 250 people in attendance, and the menu included: venison steak, elk steak, venison meatballs, pheasant soup, and a couple other items that I forget. We were careful to take a bit of every item offered, but didn’t go back for seconds. I still felt stuffed at midnight, and frankly can’t remember EVER having a better meal.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:30 PM
Squirrels! Oh! Oh!
.
A co-worker sent me this link about squirrels …which your line about electrical transformers reminded me of. Worth a read, as it teh funny.
.
http://www.dslreports.com/forum/r22080010-Squirrel
.
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:23 PM
There are times I think I should learn how to trap and do my own kosher butchering. Hunting is impossible for those who keep kosher. Learning to raise chickens probably makes sense, too.
.
Is there anywhere in the country where there is reliable freshwater fishing where enough fish for a family meal could be caught?
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:38 PM
When I was a kid and wanted to be Jeremiah Johnson, me and a couple of friends tried cooking a coon. Not so good. I understand that you have to pre-boil them for a good long time and then bake them. Supposed to be pretty good that way.
I’ve had Muskrat (not cooked by me) and it was pretty good.
I couldn’t eat a possum unless I was good and hungry, just because I hate looking at ’em. They’re nasty little things.
Squirrels may be rats with fuzzy tails, but they are some good food.
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:43 PM
That is spot on about possums. And I wouldn’t put a piece of armadillo in my mouth at gunpoint, I’d starve first. Gods filthiest creature, the armadillo. Same with coons, filthy beasts. Groundhogs, on the other hand, are pretty good fried up, and the tallow, rendered down, is the very best boot grease I’ve ever used.
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:56 PM
I grew up in Detroit, and still live in Ringworld – the suburbs surrounding the void that used to be filled with a thriving metropolis. Your description is something of a caricature, but it isn’t that far off.
There have been stirrings in recent years downtown. A couple of large corporations have moved in, bringing jobs and aiding a resurgence of small businesses serving those employee’s needs. But Detroit has one insurmountable problem that will keep it from ever overcoming it’s problems.
50% of that population of 900,000 people are functionally illiterate. Half. Meaning they are unable to read well enough to fill out simple forms like a driver’s license application.
In real life, the figure is probably higher.
Think about that, and what it means in terms of job prospects. Even if the schools start churning out 4.0 students across the board tomorrow, it will be decades before there is anything approaching a viable workforce in the city. And in real life, the schools utterly suck, with massive deficits, corruption and incompetence permeating the system from top to bottom. Again, it will take years for even the most zealous of reformers to overcome this.
A local politician made lots of enemies several years ago when he suggested that we ought to just build a fence around the city, and pass out blankets and corn. At present, he’s sounding like a genius.
More on recent politics at http://metrotimes.com/news/story.asp?id=13772 – bring a barf bag.
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 PM
JDunmeyer, my former father-in-law hunted coon and muskrat in Monroe and Newport during the depression. The state came in in the 80’s and tried to kill all the suppers you describe for “health reasons”. They are very popular Downriver.
Aaron, come to Ypsilanti, or anywhere around the Great Lakes for freshwater fishing. I’ll take you out on the Minnow for a three hour tour.
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 PM
Aren’t armadillos just little pigs with a shell? Mmmmm – pulled armadillo…….
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:17 AM
Six,
One wonders if there is a “tipping point” factor. 4.0 students who can get a college degree or better paying job might be a lot less likely to stay in such a depressed environment. What’s the motivation to overcome all the problems?
It’s sad that a modern day city can sound so post-apocalyptic. Sounds like Mogadishu or something.
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:12 AM
“assault rifles”
I find that funny.
As for coon and groundhog, they’re both good cooked on a slow grill over wood.
April 3rd, 2009 at 9:52 AM
Coon, groundhog and muskrat? I think I’m going to start raising cattle in my back yard… just in case.
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:43 AM
“Six,
One wonders if there is a “tipping point” factor. 4.0 students who can get a college degree or better paying job might be a lot less likely to stay in such a depressed environment.”
We’re way beyond that. Michigan is experiencing record population flight, and has been for several years now. A couple of years ago, for the first time in history, more college graduates at state universities left the state upon graduation than stayed.
An article in the paper yesterday said that the state is losing one family every 12 minutes, and has lost roughly a half-million people over the last 8 years.
It’s not a bad environment if you’re skilled and working. But the future is grim.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:47 PM
Aaron, in Oregon and Washington state, it’s really common to find people who feed their families pretty consistently during the various fishing seasons on their freshwater catches. Especially in the more rural areas.
Along the Columbia river, the fishing is amazing, and there are several long seasons. You can fish almost year-round. My in-laws feed themselves largely on their catch.
April 4th, 2009 at 11:28 AM
I was just talking to my FedEx guy a couple days ago about this. His family used to keep snapping turtles to make turtle soup, they also kept chickens and a goat and some other odd creatures.
They still put squirrels in the tomato sauce (they’re of Italian descent).
According to the history I read long ago, the people who suffered the worst during the Great Depression were the middle class folks who had no such basic life skills, having been separated from that accumulated knowledge base by a generation or two.
April 6th, 2009 at 9:28 AM
I listen to a radio show out of Grand Rapids. They had a nice interview with Mr Beasley. He doesn’t actually harvest the raccoons in or near Detroit. He said he travels about 150 miles to the north, at least. Sometimes they stay for a couple days. He sells the skins to overseas fur buyers, mostly in Asia, and sells the meat from his home.