Every Girl Loves Presents

I think one of the most irritating things you can do to a gun-grabber is to tell him you named your gun. So I think I’m going to call the new Vz 58 “Ivanka.” It’s a nice Czech name, and it applies to a hot babe who takes no crap.

Also, “Vera” is already taken. First by A Man They Call Jayne, and then by Doc Russia.

It’s hard to think of a sexy Russian name for the Saiga. Russian girl names tend to sound like “Agripena” and “Ludmila.” I considered “Mariska,” but it’s more Hungarian than Russian.

Ivanka has some new accessories on the way. I got her a cute new laser/light mount, plus a nasty strobe to put on it. A reader told me about these things. Supposedly they make people nauseous, which is a good thing, when those people are in your house toting weapons. We shall see. I went Chinese again. My Chinese laser is gorgeous, so I figured they were also capable of making flashlights.

The Saiga will have a laser on the side rail, plus a light under the barrel. The Vz 58 has limited (i.e. no) mounting options, so it will have the light and laser on the barrel, riding the same mount. If a criminal enters my home, it will be very hard to choose. I know one thing. The pistols will remain asnooze in their bags. Pistols are great, but long guns mean more shots on target, plus much greater capacity and stopping power.

Okay, the shotgun does not have greater capacity. But it has a whole lot, and one shot on target ends the game.

I think the Vz 58 was an excellent move. It’s like an M1 carbine that has taken tae kwon do. I got one magazine all loaded up with Wolf ammo, and I am itching to get to the range.

With enough prayer and a lot of luck, I will be able to go to my grave without shooting either of these things anywhere except at the range. But you never know. I don’t plan to have wrecks, but I still have airbags.

All I need now is a little bag for the Vz. I’ll keep it folded, right where I can get to it. At last, real home protection. Now I can go back to buying utterly frivolous guns that serve no purpose.