One Board

I bought wood today. It’s depressing. I think about all the wood my family has owned, and all the wood I still own in another state, and then I think about what I just paid for a little piece of walnut.

Maybe I’m actually a billionaire.

I got a five-foot-long piece of walnut, 1 3/4″ thick and 7″ wide. And it was about 55 bucks. It has no options. It doesn’t play MP3s or anything. It’s just wood. Hard to believe.

I felt even worse about it until I reminded myself that I actually had 15 feet of walnut. Because I’m not going to use wood 1 3/4″ thick in anything I make. I’m going to resaw it on the bandsaw. I figure 3/8″ is a good thickness for wood you use in boxes. Half an inch is clunky, and a quarter inch is hard to work with. Try putting a spline in a box that thin.

I designed a table saw guard today, so I bought stuff to make that. I went out and stared at the saw until an idea came to me, and I had one that will work. I’m going to make it out of aluminum strips and quarter-inch plexiglass. I hope I can cut plexiglass without making a fool of myself. I have a flush router bit, if all else fails. All those Corian blades that came with the table saw…you would think one of them might work.

The guard I’m making is very simple, and I should be able to yank it off the table instantly when I have to. It will be hinged so you can flop it back over the side. I don’t know how to put a dust port on it, but I’ll figure it out. For twenty bucks, it should be a pretty good guard. It will require me to leave two of my spiffy Irwin clamps on the rear rail of the saw, but I have eight of them, so it’s not a big sacrifice. I can put something else in there when the fixture becomes permanent.

The wood choices at the lumber place don’t seem to be as great as they once were. Let’s see. Oak, poplar, maple, cherry, jatoba, purpleheart, zebrawood, ipe, mahogany, bubinga, lacewood, ash…that’s most of it. I’m not all that excited about funny looking items like bubinga; I think they can look tacky. But the lacewood is an exception. It might make a nice box. I can’t really describe it. You can probably Google a picture.

I picked up some Johnson’s paste wax for the saw top. Everyone says it rocks, so I’ll try it. I also got Allen screws for my new zero clearance insert.

Picked up a chicken on the way home, and I’m roasting it with homegrown rosemary. I didn’t realize how much rosemary resembles pine needles. The smell is really strong. I hope they didn’t sell me some kind of evergreen shrub as a joke. Hemlock, I’ll bet. They got Socrates, and now they’re after me. I’ll bet it’s the Illuminati again. They aggravate the crap out of me. If it’s not the Illuminati sending me unwanted pizzas, it’s the Masons or the Trilateral Commission, toilet-papering the yard. Jerks.

Socrates was a pedophile, so he got what he deserved. I wonder why we don’t hear more about that in college. If Socrates were alive today, his picture would be on every government pervert site in the country.

The chicken is roasting. I shot it full of Korbel Brut. I am no longer ashamed to say that I like Korbel Brut. If you haven’t tried it in twenty years, give it another chance. They did something to it.

Off to the garage.