Be Glad When Someone Puts the Smite to You

Let me pose a question to my Christian readers.

Suppose you communicate from time to time with another Christian. And you and this person agree that donating to the church and to charities is very important. But this person has a habit of telling you exactly how much he gives.

Imagine also that this person has represented himself as financially comfortable, and has expressed a belief that the money was a reward from God. Then this person admits having financial problems.

It worries you that this person tells you the amounts of the donations, because you believe a Christian’s generosity will be rewarded in one way or another, and that disclosing the amounts of one’s giving will cut off or reduce whatever blessings may come of it. After all, Jesus said not to let one hand know what the other was doing. You worry that this is the reason the person needs money.

Finally, out of concern, you tell the other person you are concerned about learning these amounts, for the above reasons. And this person tells you that you are impossible to communicate with because you are judgmental.

Is what you’ve done okay, or is the other person right?

I think the other person is completely wrong. After all, both testaments of the Bible are full of examples of believers giving each other advice. We’re expected to do it. Most people wouldn’t even know what the word “rebuke” means, were it not for the Bible. Everyone makes mistakes, and we need other believers to warn us, for the same reason you’d warn someone who was walking toward a minefield. Psalm 141 says, “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness. And let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil which shall not break my head.”

I’m sure I have the punctuation wrong. The KJV has very weird punctuation.

I think it’s fine–not just acceptable, but important–to talk about the importance of giving, because you don’t talk about it in order to glorify yourself. You do it to help other Christians realize there is a blessing they may be missing out on, and you talk about it for the sake of the church, and for the sake of the needy. And it’s fine to mention organizations that deserve donations. How else are people supposed to find them? That’s why I have charity links on my site. And if you read this blog regularly, you know that I don’t just recommend charities. I also ask for recommendations.

I also think it’s fine to say you feel you’ve been rewarded for giving. That’s called “testimony.” It’s helpful to others.

At the same time, I think you harm yourself when you talk about how much you give, or what an empathetic or generous person you are.

I’ve gotten all sorts of great advice from other Christians. I take it very well unless it’s offered in a snotty way. Sometimes I manage to take it well even then, but I’m not nearly saintly enough to do that consistently.

Sometimes people are clearly self-righteous when they tell you about an error you’re making, or something you missed out on. But most of the time, they’re trying to help.

I think it’s important not to get mad when someone throws a fit over advice you’ve given them. Anger and division are just what the enemy wants, and they waste time, make you miserable, and interfere with God’s ability to grant the things you ask in prayer. Sometimes people get really mad when you give them advice, and then a week later, they’re taking the advice and either thanking you for it or pretending they thought of it themselves. Either way, it’s a positive result, and it’s less likely to happen if you start whacking each other with your giant leather-bound designer Bibles.

If I were to break character and give to charity or the church I would tell NOBODY but the IRS, and I would even be tempted to keep it off my tax returns. Not because I’m a wonderful person (although I am) but because I would like to get some sort of worthwhile reward. Let’s be honest; unless you’re a complete martyr, a lot of what you do as a matter of faith has a big element of self-interest. That’s perfectly reasonable. You won’t find Biblical figures saying things like, “O Lord, increase my leprosy, give my enemies victory, make me fight with my family, and keep me in poverty.” And God wouldn’t have given us tons of promises regarding rewards, had he not expected us to try to get the benefit. God always says, “Do this and get a reward, or do that and suffer.”

Hello? I didn’t make the rules. God isn’t a socialist. He realizes that even good people act out of self-interest.

I don’t agree with prosperity preaching. It’s wrong to tell people God has a magical machine in the sky that automatically turns every ten-dollar donation into a hundred-dollar return. But I do believe giving to God and the poor is crucial to a blessed life. We’re supposed to be like God in our character, and God is generous. I think it is literally impossible for a person or a family to have peace and prosperity and harmony without being generous. Sooner or later, you will find corruption in whatever good things you receive. You’ll make good money, but you’ll get a divorce and your kids will end up on drugs. You’ll get a nice business going, but you’ll be too sick to run it, or a lawsuit will destroy it. Something like that.

I also think God probably respects every donation made in the right spirit, but he may reward you with something other than money, because sometimes money is not what you should have. Maybe you can’t hold onto it. Maybe it will lead you to do stupid things with it and end up like one of the many wealthy celebrities who died by thirty. Not everyone can be counted on to do the mature thing and buy expensive machine tools.

Anyway, there is nothing wrong with pointing out dangers other people may be courting with their behavior. The Bible actually says that if we don’t correct people, we share responsibility for their sins. The people who can’t stop parroting “judge not, et cetera” need to learn that there is more than one verse in the Bible. And I can tell you this: if people had not pointed my own sins out to me on occasion, I would be in a real mess right now.