The Bearable Lightness of Lightness

Praise report: I am now down 17 pounds, due to supernatural, God-given deliverance from gluttony.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to get anyone excited about it. It’s hard to share testimony. People seem to tighten their necks and wait for a new subject.

I am a disgraceful person who receives charity from God. I have earned damnation and other problems, but I have not earned anything by being good. I admit these things. Nonetheless, people have a natural tendency to assume that if you tell them God did something for you, which he has not yet done for them, you are trying to tell them you’re more righteous than they are, or that you are criticizing or nagging. I have gotten these responses a lot. I have also noticed that when I say I received something good, other people try to one-up me, in a competitive way, when I know they’re lying.

I am not good, but I don’t have every character problem a person can have, and I don’t have the desperate desire to prove I’m as good as or better than other Christians. I am not trying to convince anyone God is good to me because I am good; that would be a lie. I don’t mind it when someone else says they got something I haven’t received yet. I always want to hear about it, to share their joy and see if I can get the same thing eventually.

It’s hard to relate to people who have character problems you don’t have. If you’re not short-tempered and arrogant, for example, it’s hard to understand people who are, and this makes it hard to anticipate their reactions to things. By the same token, if you’re not disturbed by other people’s testimony, you don’t naturally anticipate that your testimony will make people angry with you or stir up envy and resentment. I should see these things coming before I write or speak, and I often do not. On the other hand, I often do, because I have learned through observation.

I testify a lot, because I forget to anticipate, or because I just don’t care. I know we are obligated to testify, and I am completely certain that if people receive it badly, it is one hundred percent their choice and their sin, and the attestant bears no guilt whatsoever. In fact, you wrong an attestant when you react badly to his testimony. It’s called “persecution.”

I believe we tend to think “persecution” refers only to bad and very harmful acts from unbelievers, like stoning, imprisonment, and so on. In reality, trying to shut down people who are getting great things from God and trying to talk about them is persecution. Self-described Christians do most of the persecution in this world. They are closer to other Christians, they have more opportunities, and they are puppets of demons who hate to see anyone tell about God’s goodness.

Christians are loaded with demons, and most will stay that way, because you can’t get rid of a demon unless you’re against what he’s doing in you. Most Christians love obeying their demons. They love gluttony, lust, anger, pride, and all the other iniquities. They make pets of their demons.

Actually, it’s the other way around.

I lost 17 pounds. I will lose at least another 20. It will not be difficult. God will help me. I don’t care who I offend. Anyone who feels threatened by these claims is led by spirits other than the Holy Spirit.

The Bible says bad things can happen to those who cause others to offend. It doesn’t say it’s bad to offend. It it were, Yeshua and the apostles would be in hell, along with Moses and the prophets.

Be offended, if that makes you happy. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

My wife has not been delivered yet. She is planning to give the carnivore diet a try. It looks pretty interesting. I feel tempted to do it, since I can make myself eat whatever I want, but I don’t think I will. I feel better when I have a small amount of carbohydrate every day, and I don’t want constipation. Also, while I could certainly give up everything I like, with God’s help, why should I? The fat is coming off just fine, and all I do is avoid glucose spikes and overeating.

My face looks different, and that change took place before I had lost much weight. I have read that carbs cause inflammation throughout the body, and this makes people’s faces puff up. That has gone from me.

I don’t know, but I would guess the fat and protein increase has not harmed me. I don’t think these things are harmful when not combined with glucose spikes, and I doubt I have the makings of a heart patient. A long time ago, I had a total cholesterol level that was slightly high, but it was driven entirely by HDL, the cholesterol everyone loves. My LDL was below average, and my HDL was pretty high. If I recall correctly, my triglyceride number was 169, and AI tells me this is in the middle of the “borderline” area. My doctor told me to cut out cholesterol and lose weight, although I was only around 13 pounds above my best number. He tried to put me on a restrictive diet. Told me to eat chicken. I looked it up, and chicken is full of cholesterol, just like pork and beef.

He was wrong. I’ll just say it. Some doctors are real martinets when it comes to cholesterol, diet, and weight. I think he may have been trying to generate a problem to keep me coming in and paying him. I listened to him for a short time and then quit.

People talk about the grave significance of high triglycerides, but I just found out the numbers can jump temporarily for all sorts of reasons, including recent injuries and working out too hard. Coffee raises triglycerides temporarily. So do minor illnesses and poor sleep. When I saw this doctor, I was having trouble sleeping due to a mysterious bout of asthma, and I was a caffeine-lover, so why would he think a borderline figure meant I had a chronic problem?

My mother and grandfather had cholesterol levels over 300, and both were very healthy, with clear arteries. My dad was obese and never had any artery crud, although he did have high blood pressure caused by his weight. My grandfather is the only relative I know of, on either side of my family, who ever had a heart attack, and he was 85 and brought it on himself by chasing cattle in a rage. And you’re not entitled to live past 85 anyway. He had already beaten the system. He had been exceptionally strong and healthy all his life. No arthritis. No blood sugar issues. He broke his hip in a winter fall, and soon afterward he was accused of making vigorous passes at his physical therapist, from his hospital bed.

He became forgetful in his last few years, but not the kind of forgetfulness that puts people in homes or drives their kids to hide the car keys.

I have an aunt who has had a stroke, but she has smoked like crazy for over 6 decades. My sister has had a stroke, but she is obese and diabetic, she has lived on McDonald’s Cokes all her adult life, her teeth are gone, which leads to systemic problems, and only God knows how much damage heavy smoking and drug use did to her body over the decades.

I just don’t believe I was ever prone to blocked arteries. I don’t think it is likely I would be the first in three generations.

In any case, God is my only real protection, so maybe it’s silly to talk about inherited problems and hamburger and cream cheese. If he is with me, I’ll be fine, and if he isn’t, my inherited strengths won’t keep me from having trouble.

Anyway, the first thing you have to do in order to be rid of demons and bad habits is to admit you have them. If you are too arrogant to do this, don’t expect help. I have no idea why Christians generally find it insulting to be told they might have demons. They react as though they had been accused of having syphilis. Strangest thing.

I’m going to testify all I want, and I don’t care who gets mad.