People and Trees
December 10th, 2008Two Kinds of Things That Suffer Blights
I keep harping on the notion that my family is afflicted because of bad things our ancestors did, such as growing and selling cigarette tobacco. And I often cite the misfortunes we’ve suffered. On reflection, I have realized that we’ve had more problems than I thought.
I used to cite my mother, my aunt, and my uncle, who died from cancer. And I have said that my grandfather’s cardiac surgeon opined that the death of my aunt contributed to the heart attack that killed him a month later. But there’s more to it than that. We have had other atypical problems, some clearly caused by addiction or drug or alcohol abuse.
This week I realized none of my grandfather’s four daughters had been spared. I have two aunts left. Both are smokers. One has problems I would rather not go into. The other has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. So two are gone, one has terrible problems, and another has a terrible disease. And most of the grandchildren have failed to prosper as they should have.
That is four for four. Out of four families, not one has turned out as hoped. All families have troubles, but it’s not exactly rare for a man and wife to grow old and die together, with children who are healthy and happy, and who have fairly healthy families of their own. My grandfather had four daughters. Three divorced, and the fourth is a widow. Most of the kids have had serious setbacks. I’m sure many people who read this blog have families with statistics that are considerably brighter.
I am told that the Parkinson’s is getting worse. My aunt is complaining about the dementia that goes with it. She forgets things, for example. I’ve been looking around on the web for helpful information. They say coconut oil, vitamin D, and omega 3’s may be helpful.
I’d appreciate it if some of you would offer a prayer for her sake. I believe my family faces special challenges, but I also believe in deliverance by faith. Almost anything can be turned around and made into a blessing. I think I’m out of the woods, personally, and I hope I can help the others get out.
I asked Aaron what the Jewish position on curses was, and he said a subsequent generation can suffer for the sins of its predecessors, if they don’t disapprove of those sins. That is pretty consistent with what I believe. If you go on in blindness, not realizing wrong has been done, that’s nearly equivalent with approval. I think that describes our situation.
By the way, don’t forget Mish Weiss. She continues waiting for her bone marrow transplant to have the desired effects.
Thanks.
December 10th, 2008 at 11:53 AM
You are all always in my prayers. I hope your family all survive and thrive.
December 10th, 2008 at 6:54 PM
Maybe I can give you some encouragement here. My family has broken marriages and tragedies going back at least six generations; all the way to the civil war (and it may go back further, I just don’t have records that far).
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This started to change with my grandmother’s generation because, I believe, of her strong Christian Faith. Even so, my father was not a believer, nor was my mother (they divorced when I was 3), and I did not become a believer in Christ until my 20’s, so there are consequences in my generation as a result. But I am striving hard to break that chain of consequences (spiritual and otherwise) with my kids, and so far all three of my kids have accepted Christ (even my Mother is a believer now).
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The curse can be lifted, but unsurprisingly, those under the curse need to turn to God first. You’ll be an example for them to follow.
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And of course family and Mish Weiss are in our prayers.
December 11th, 2008 at 2:14 AM
“We have had other atypical problems, some clearly caused by addiction or drug or alcohol abuse.”
From my own personal experience on addictions (thankfully nothing too serious other than a loss of much productive time), I have found this to be quite effective:
I am the Lord your god… you shall have no other gods before me.
http://www.ebible.com/bible/Exodus%2020%3A3
The _psychological_ component of the addiction to money, gambling, women, food, drugs, video games etc… can be dealt with pretty well just by applying the 1st Commandment to the problem (The example of AA’s 2nd step in their twelve step process taps this ‘technique’. http://www.recovery.org/aa/misc/12steps.html ). Apply topically as needed. 😉
Sure this makes me ‘Religious’ and ‘God Oriented’, but everyone else can go find a psychologists couch and pay the big bucks. Like… Secular Humanists have an answer to this very simple problem… phfft.
The first commandment is THE MOST important of all decisions you can make (IMHO).
It is my North Star upon which I chart my course through life.
Hope it helps, Steve.
December 11th, 2008 at 4:52 AM
“If you go on in blindness, not realizing wrong has been done, that’s nearly equivalent with approval. I think that describes our situation.”
Interesting night. You’re hitting a few resonant frequencies with me. Time for me to tune in.
Yeah… I came from a family with flaws in its ‘foundation’, too. I was aware as a teenager, I had some very serious troubles, but I didn’t quite know what a lot of them were. I wanted to live a good life that was untainted by the sins of the father being visited on the son.
By God I was gonna move out of the house and be free! But I was going to make peace with BOTH parents – no matter who I thought was more messed up or wrong.
I think out of sheer luck I had stumbled intuitively on a more correct answer. The answer? I inadvertently stumble across another commandment by God :
Honor your father and mother…
http://www.ebible.com/bible/exodus%2020%3A12
As I have grown older, I have found in my other siblings that the parent that they scorned the most, they seem to resemble more and more – warts and all. Perhaps hatred of the things they saw in that parent created a kind of blindness (or a blind spot) of those very sins growing within them.
I have had good relations with BOTH parents and have accepted their sins – and have grown to be fond of (and even love) both. I also have come to understand that I am an amalgam of both: They are my past, I am their future.
I still don’t understand all the psychology behind the above stuff, but it seems to have worked. But the kernel of this ‘sins of the father’ issue seems to be alleviated quite well by the 5th commandment.
Do I still have flaws? Oh yea. But I am pleased by my progress.
Dang… I sure am ‘religious’ tonight… (whatever _that_ may mean)