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December 9th, 2008

No Reasonable Bribe Rejected

My cellphone has been running me ragged today. Every time I try to sit down and think for two seconds, it beeps and tells me I’m supposed to be somewhere else. Deposit a check. Charge the Harley’s battery. Put my old crap on Craigslist so I’ll have room for new crap. It never ends.

I want a divorce.

I’ll try to catch up with blogging before long. Right now I’m busy trying to sell a piece of merchandise that just became available. I’m referring to the office of Governor of the State of Illinois. Place your bid, and I’ll see if I can get you appointed.

I’d love to give it to you as a gift, but it’s a valuable thing — you just don’t give it away for nothing. I want to make money. Hurry up, or I’ll take the office myself. If you’re not going to offer me anything of value I might as well take it.

Reverend Jackson, please stop calling.

6 Responses to “Upgrade from Community Organizer”

  1. km Says:

    Unlike a wife, the beep can be turned off.

  2. RL Says:

    Technology. You cant live with it, you can’t live without it.

  3. Fausta’s Blog » Blog Archive » Governor of Illinois busted for trying to sell Obama’s senate seat Says:

    […] the spirit of entrepeneurship, Steve’s selling the office of Governor of the State of […]

  4. Gromulin Says:

    Unlike a wife, the beep can be turned off.

    And you can trade it in for a newer model, with more features, that weighs less, every couple of years.

  5. km Says:

    As to my wonderful home state of Illinois, we’re debating a new state motto. It seems to be down to a choice of:

    “Illinois: Let’s Make A Deal”

    or

    “Illinois: Louisiana, but with lousy waether”

  6. km Says:

    Gromulin – I understand the newer and lighter model, but what new features do wives come with these days? I don’t know, I still have my original “classic” retro model wife.