Norm Abrams is a Loser

I just finished screwing a two-by-six to the underside of my routing-table-to-be. I only made one mistake, and it was one of those things people never find out about until they take things apart.

I got a funny result. The left half of the table is now absolutely true. The right half is damn near true, but not quite. And oddly, most of the problem is in the 3″ of the table that are beyond the two-by-six. I would say we are looking at maybe 0.2-0.3 millimeters. I don’t know if that’s bad enough to cause problems. I very much doubt it, considering the kind of crap I am likely to use the table for.

I learned one fun thing today. Melamine and MDF don’t like being drilled with Forstner bits. This stuff is pretty hard.

Question: how much MDF/melamine dust do I have to breathe to be sure of getting a gigantic tumor? I was a few holes into the project before it occurred to me to put on a mask. If that’s not a big enough dose, I can always go out there, put some dust in a spoon, and eat it.

The router lift will be here on Monday, more or less. Between now and then, I have time to play with shims. And the table might straighten up on its own, I suppose.

If I decide to try shimming, I think I’ll cut something out of thick paper instead of trying to make a wooden shim. I don’t think I would enjoy trying to cut a 0.3mm slice off a two-by six.

I feel all manly now. This is a rare sensation, so I am trying to enjoy it.

I had to get a 7/8″ Forstner bit at Home Depot today, and when I got there, they had a regular old bit for like five bucks, plus the super-amazing Porter Cable bit assortment, with slip-proof hex-shaped shafts as well as some remarkable improvement or other that makes them cut UP TO TWICE AS FAST AS REGULAR FORSTNER BITS and they were only $45, and they came with a box which, I’ll bet, would cost me like $25 to make, so it’s as if the bits were only $20, and, well, obviously I made the smart choice.

It’s a shame a person with my gift for rationalizing isn’t married. Look what I’m wasting.

More

Forgot to say, I ordered a router DVD, and it arrived today. I plan to break that out to enjoy with lunch. And here’s something crazy: Woodworking With the Router, by Bill Hylton, has gotten hard to find. A new version is coming out next year, and the 2006 one has disappeared. I found it online at McFeely’s, so I ordered that, too.

Heh heh. Life is sweet.

It’s amazing how much pleasure I get from things that are utterly trivial.