Is That a City Burning Over There on the Horizon?

I got nothing done today, and I’m loving it. Instead of painting the kitchen or putting a new oil seal in the tractor’s front axle, I put the family in the car, and we went for lunch and supplies.

The weather is bearable now. The heat has abated, and the rains have tapered off. It’s beautiful here. Even better, we have a new Captain D’s and a Restaurant Depot.

Captain D’s is basically the same as Long John Silver’s. Fish fried in near-tempura batter, served with fries. In other words, fish and chips.

The only local LJ’s is a long way off, and it seems to be making long, slow circles around the drain, so I was very happy when Captain D’s came to town.

Restaurant Depot is a food service company. A grocery store for restaurants. They sell big packages of restaurant-grade food at wholesale prices.

Restaurant Depot is a godsend if you want to make real pizza. They have every flour known to humanity, they carry Stanislaus and Escalon tomato products, and they sell decent mozzarella, which is more than you can say for nearly all grocery stores.

You’re not supposed to shop at Restaurant Depot unless you run a business, but they will let you in for a day if you’re a mere mortal. You won’t have access to alcohol, and there are other perks you won’t get, but you can buy most products at the same prices chefs pay.

Yesterday I found out anyone with a federal EIN could get a Restaurant Depot card, so I decided I needed to become a member. I took care of that today. I feel superior to other people now.

Captain D’s was shocking. Most restaurants here are dirty, and the employees tend to be incompetent. Captain D’s was spotless. The staff was well-groomed, courteous, and efficient. The food was exactly what it was supposed to be. No excuses. The tartar sauce and ketchup were a little subpar, but you’re supposed to use malt vinegar at Captain D’s.

I guess some people would make fun of me for getting excited about fast food, but then the world is full of idiots. A really good burger with fries is just as good as the black cod at Nobu or the pate at Picasso. It’s just a different cuisine.

Any restaurant that does a top-notch job providing tasty food is a good restaurant, and a really good Five Guys is better than a mediocre haute cuisine joint.

I like restaurateurs that do a great job, whether they serve wagyu or food-truck tacos.

Captain D’s is the Chick-fil-A of fish and chips.

Yesterday I ate at a restaurant that put canned green peppers and canned onions on a pizza, so I was ready for some redemption.

I love Restaurant Depot. They really cut through the grocery-store BS.

Huge bag of shelled pistachios: $8. Gallon can of pomace oil: $17. Good mozzarella: $2 per pound.

Best of all for today: 50 pounds of beef tallow for $68. This is about what 40 pounds of peanut oil cost at the grocery, and peanut oil is vastly inferior.

Beef tallow makes crisper fries that taste much better, and that’s why McDonald’s used to use it. It’s perfect for frying chicken, which is why KFC used it for decades before women and vegetarians made them cave in and use rape oil.

I looked at tallow last year, and I saw prices like $150. I was going to spring for it eventually. I like $68 much better, and at Restaurant Depot, I get an extra 10 pounds for the kitchen or my wife’s skin care. Or my baby’s butt.

This is great.

It seems unfair for life to be this sweet while everyone else is gearing up for an unnecessary civil war.