How Can This be a Good Deal for God?

I had a disturbing revelation during the night.

I often wake up at night and spend hours praying. I can’t get back to sleep. God confronts me with things about myself that need to be corrected. Sometimes it’s very unpleasant, but I look forward to it, because I want to be right. That’s just common sense. No one wants to continue being wrong and causing problems for himself and others.

Well. Many people do, actually. Most, I suppose.

Last night, I thought about the blood of Yeshua.

I have the cutest baby son you could ever hope to meet. He is funny. He adores his parents. He loves being hugged and played with. He puts his lips on us and makes hilarious noises. He tries to be a good boy; we can tell by watching him.

A large amount of our time is devoted to showing him love. He gets squeezed and kissed all day. I don’t know how we could love him more. The thought of anything bad happening to him is unbearable to me.

Abraham loved his son, too, and like me, he waited a long time for him. His rebellious wife was disobedient to God and persuaded him to have a troublesome son by a concubine, but the son of promise came later.

God told him to hold his beautiful, cherished son down, slit his throat, and watch him die. Abraham tried to do it, although his heart must have been bursting inside him.

Yahweh went farther than Abraham.

He had one son. Only one. He was perfect. He was full of love. He adored his father. He loved his earthly father. He was completely innocent, even in his thirties. Then God had him tortured to death, slowly, so his blood could be used to wash his enemies.

God loved his enemies–us–so much, he put himself and his son through that.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t cut the tip of my son’s finger. I would much rather cut myself. If he were killed, and someone collected his blood, I wouldn’t be able to stand the sight of it. I would want to die.

Here I am, however, continually claiming to be washed in the blood of God’s son, whom God loves more than I love mine.

That is really something. It shows what a serious thing it is when we claim the blood. It also shows how precious it is. We should never speak about it carelessly. It’s a person’s blood, taken by violence for which we are responsible, provided to us by that person’s adoring father.

I kept hearing a phrase during the night: “I am expensive.”

That is putting it very mildly. Imagine how expensive I am, if God traded the life, flesh, and blood of his only son so he could have me. It’s incomprehensible.

God calls his human children a pearl of great price, worth everything he has. He is serious. He paid all he had.

You can be expensive, too, if you want.

In other news, I am done with The Last Reformation. It seems to have deteriorated consistently over the last few years. It’s all Torben this and TLR doctrine that. It’s not what it used to be.

If you look at TLR’s video history, you will see that they used to heal and baptize people. Now, the focus has shifted. “Go on trips with us.” Explanations of doctrine that may be flawed. Complaints about Torben’s enemies and his imprisonment and deportation.

Here’s something important to know: anyone who lacks current testimony and revelation is having problems in his relationship with God. God never stops teaching us and doing remarkable things in our lives.

A lack of testimony is one of the hallmarks of a dead ministry. When you go to a typical church, the preacher gives testimony, but it’s not his. It may be the testimony of people he read about recently. It may be made-up testimony other preachers have been passing around, not knowing it’s fiction. In what may be the worst cases, it may be the testimony of people who lived 2,000 years ago.

Properly, “testimony” means “eyewitness testimony.” If you share your buddy’s testimony, it’s hearsay. It wouldn’t be admissible in a court of law. You’re not a witness. You’re just someone who heard a story.

TLR’s videos used to be full of evidence of the activity of God. Healing and deliverance, mainly. This isn’t true any more. It’s mostly talk, advertising, and teaching of questionable value.

I’ve been to TLR events in St. Petersburg, Raleigh, and Tennessee. I didn’t drive long distances so I could see Torben Sondergaard or learn how to use TLR’s special salvation cards. I didn’t make those trips so I could join their school and live in a dormitory with strangers, as though I were a child in boarding school. I wanted to get closer to God and have him move through me, and I thought they could help.

I met some nice people through TLR, but they were not insiders. I did not see any extraordinary healings. I participated in one deliverance. I had some useful experiences. But the ministry got stuck in a rut, and it is still there.

This is typical of my experience. I find a ministry I like. I involve myself to some extent. I get some good things out of it. I notice that the people who are heavily involved seem to be less blessed than I am, and that they are bogged down in their walks. No one listens when I try to help. I am seen as a problem. The ministry deteriorates. I let it go and move on.

This must be why God doesn’t send me to church. Churches are invariably run by preachers who know less about God than I do and who expect me to regress back to their levels. They can’t tolerate any revelation that didn’t come through them or their revered mentors and forebears. Revelation can’t come through nobodies like me; it has to come through people they know or who were powerful in their denominations. My job is to shut up and accept false correction, and I’m supposed to repent and apologize for actual revelation. Who am I to contradict a guy who has a jet, or even a guy who hangs around with a more successful guy who has a jet?

I’ll say it again: if God speaks to everyone in a church, which is what’s supposed to happen, Satan can’t do much to ruin things. He is weak and limited, so he can’t go after hundreds of Spirit-informed people simultaneously with any chance of success. In a personality cult, which means nearly any church, all he has to do is corrupt the pastor, and then the pastor corrupts everyone else, which is easy, because he hasn’t introduced them to the Holy Spirit. Instead, he introduced them to himself; an ambitious guy who likes telling others what to do.

Who did Satan use most effectively to keep ancient Jews from recognizing Yeshua and becoming blessed and saved? Whores and pagans? No! Priests and scribes. Satan won them over, and they corrupted Jews who thought they spoke for God, and that was the majority.

“I’ve been on 10 trips with Daniel Kolenda.” “I carried Kenneth Hagin’s briefcase.” People attach themselves to preachers and brag about how close they are or were. Many Christians feel that if they know famous preachers personally, they are somehow endowed with the authority and righteousness of Yeshua, even if they have never met him.

Satan wants us to worship preachers because it makes his operation work much more efficiently. He has used preacher-worship in his successful campaign to cripple the body of Christ.

Satan can’t corrupt the Holy Spirit, so if you spend sufficient time with the Holy Spirit every day, Satan can’t destroy you the way he has destroyed most self-described Christians.

I have probably spent a grand total of 45 seconds speaking to Torben Sondergaard at his events. I never had any interest in chasing him around to get his approval. I want people to bring me closer to God, not the other way around. Also, I don’t want to be a typical Jesus-buff pastor-pest. I don’t want to be the guy who stomps past people who are in need of help so I can tell the pastor how wonderful he is and get his approval.

A long time ago, I thought Robert Morris knew a few things, so we had a brief email correspondence. I wanted to learn more. I ended up asking him about a claim he had made that appeared to be wrong, and that was the last I heard from him. Now look what has happened to him. Where would I be if I had made him my guru?

He truly was wrong, by the way, and he should have known it. I think I still have his DVD’s, which I should really throw out.

I must have stirred up his pride, and proud preachers are to be avoided.

I liked Perry Stone because God showed him a lot of things. I never thought he was the new messiah, however. He ended up causing a sex scandal which, due to his dishonest denials and slanderous accusations, damaged his credibility forever.

I never spent significant time carrying anyone’s briefcase, doing his laundry, or helping set up his tent in Africa. I want to hear from God, not preachers.

I like T.B. Joshua, who died in 2021. I like Mark Hemans. I find the BBC’s accusations regarding Joshua to be transparent, debunked, intentional slanders. I haven’t heard anything bad about Hemans. Nonetheless, I don’t assume everything they said or say is correct.

The only problem I have with Joshua is that he had long conversations with people he was delivering. He asked demons all sorts of questions. “What did you do to this woman?” “Why did you do it?” Why would anyone give a platform to a demon? They lie. A demon might be lucky to lie to a thousand people through a person he controls, but put him in front of a popular minister whose videos go all over the world, and he can reach millions.

I believe Hemans gets a little chatty, too.

Here’s a wild proposition: we’re not supposed to let demons teach. Prove me wrong.

On a related note, the rapture has not come, unless I’m such a bad Christian I was rejected.

I saw a lady in a video, claiming her autistic son told her it would happen in September of 2025. She says he told her several true things no human being could know. Christians, who rarely investigate anything, got excited.

It’s the first of October.

Autism is often or perhaps always caused by demons, so this lady was getting supernatural information from a person who was in the grip of evil spirits. And she believed him, and other Christians believed her. That’s weird.

He communicates using a letter board, which is basically a secular Ouija board. It’s supposed to be a spiritually-neutral tool, but there is no reason a demon can’t use it just like a Ouija board.

She may have been making the whole thing up, though. People are contemptible and capable of anything, or, as my mom used to say, “People are no damn good.”

I am going to try to take the blood of Yeshua much more seriously. I already knew what God told me about it, but a revelation from God is somehow much more deeply convincing than common sense or a verse in the Bible.

I hear the baby making flatulence noises and squeaks of joy. I better go love him for a minute.