007 Has Nothing on Me
November 18th, 2008Licensed to Cruffle
Here is horrible news. I am about to begin cruffling. The BATF pestered me to fix my application, so I sent a check, and the paper arrived today.
This is bad. There are so many things I want, which I didn’t get because of the hassle of picking them up from a dealer.
I can get an M1 carbine. I can get another K31. An M1 Garand. An M39. An M96. A Sherman tank. My own aircraft carrier.
I think that’s about it.
One thing is for sure. I won’t be ordering anything by cell phone. That is because I have the cleanest cell phone in Miami. This is because I just repeated my old trick: putting the cell phone through the washing machine.
Some people buy new cell phones when they get tired of their old ones. Some people wait until new features come out. For me, the trigger is soap suds coming out of the keypad.
I can’t believe I did this again. I do it every two years.
It’s not that big a deal. I recently realized I needed PDA capabilities. I can’t keep track of when I fertilized what. Or when I should clean the dust out of my room. I have lots of stuff like that, getting on my nerves. The more organized my life becomes, the less I know when I’m supposed to do things.
The old phone might work when it dries out.
I wish I had an interest in Eastern bloc pistols, because there are a whole bunch of them that are C&R eligible.
Hopefully you’ll see me soon on the news, posing with my kitchen table “home arsenal.”
November 18th, 2008 at 8:56 PM
Sherman’s nice but go with a Walker Bulldog. Better gun, better mileage and you can still get parts.
November 18th, 2008 at 9:37 PM
The M1 Garand is fantastic rifle. And buying from the CMP will save you a surprising amount of money on one.
November 18th, 2008 at 11:05 PM
I have heard that if you put the phone in a bag of dry rice it will pull the water out of it and you will have the best chance of saving the phone.
Never tried it though, after toliet phone I just got a new one. Same with toilet headphones, just couldnt bring myself to wear them again.
At least yours will be clean when its dry.
November 18th, 2008 at 11:14 PM
I want an M1 Garand.
November 18th, 2008 at 11:46 PM
Washing a cell phone: the problem isn’t the wash, it’s the rinse (or, rather, the lack thereof). If the screen seems OK, no cracks or obvious streaks, get a jug of distilled water and swish the phone around until soapsuds stop coming out. Then let it dry, and 99% of the time it’ll be fine. Beepers nowadays have plastic diaphragms, so even the mic and speaker will be fine.
In future, when you want to wash it, use the dishwasher. It doesn’t get immersed, and the dishwashing soap rinses cleaner. Now that the manufacturers aren’t allowed to use chlorofluorocarbons, that’s how they clean the crud from manufacturing out.
This advice has been tested on two models of Nokia and a Motorola Razr III.
Regards,
Ric
November 19th, 2008 at 1:11 AM
Not to insult your vast intellegence, but you do know that your GSM card can be pulled out of the old phone (assuming you have that technology) and slipped into a new phone bought online or even in a retail store–one of the pay as you go phones will do–without signing another one or two year contract.
Instead of a PDA or Blackberry, I personally just went with a special edition Black & Decker Workmate with a keypad, antenna, and three watt booster.
It’s a little bulky, but I can sit on it and talk or even eat a meal on it–something you can’t do with a Iphone–or just clamp my head in it and try to keep out the constant influx of Obamarama media hysterics.
(I guess og’s gonna want one now that I’ve mentioned it)
November 19th, 2008 at 7:25 AM
My Stepdaughter used to drop hers in the toilet. At least 3 times that I remember. One of them worked after I cleaned it up and let it dry. Complete waste of time as she would not even think of touching one after it hit the dumper water. No big deal because she also dropped them often enough to kill them anyway. She inherited that trait from her Mom. The small monthly cost of insurance has saved me millions on replacement cell phones.
I owe, I owe so of to work I go…….
November 19th, 2008 at 8:22 AM
I prefer Sherman tanks, because when you rack the bolt, it scares the enemy so bad he gives up.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:02 AM
Just remember, the important thing is to have a gun and know how to use it in the first place. I imagine that most intruders will submit to even slight high velocity lead poisoning.
I prefer the M1-A1 for the cool turbine engine sound, but when I put in the garage I find it hard to get to my Work Mate…
November 19th, 2008 at 10:04 AM
The SIM card trick only works if you’re on AT&T or T-Mobile. Verizon and Sprint use CDMA, so there’s no SIM.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:31 AM
“I prefer Sherman tanks, because when you rack the bolt, it scares the enemy so bad he gives up.”
That’s funny right there. That’s going to make me laugh all day.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:33 AM
Tanks are darned hard to maneuver around tight hallways, though.
Well, the first time. After that, the hallways aren’t so tight. Or there.
November 19th, 2008 at 11:21 AM
” I recently realized I needed PDA capabilities. I can’t keep track of when I fertilized what. Or when I should clean the dust out of my room. I have lots of stuff like that, getting on my nerves. The more organized my life becomes, the less I know when I’m supposed to do things.”
This is going to be awesome. I can just see Steve’s next hobby: learning .Net and writing custom fertilizer/poison scheduling apps.
November 19th, 2008 at 11:24 AM
And that carrier will keep you safe. Any intruders will just get lost. You’ll find them, days later, wandering the hallways. Use them to polish the brass.
November 19th, 2008 at 12:19 PM
I just went to a WinMobile PDA style phone (the HTC made Tilt through AT&T). I used to have a Palm OS Handspring PDA way back, this is a lot like it – although with the “joy” of dealing with MS software. Once I get used to it again, I will be pretty happy with it (I think).
November 20th, 2008 at 1:13 PM
Heck, I dropped my cell phone in the toilet a while back. Shuddup, I had just flushed it. Went to take it apart to dry it out, only to find out that it was held together with what I can only describe as tricorn Phillips-head screws. Got it dried out anyway (it was only in there for maybe five seconds) but it was a near thing.
Oh, BTW, any advice for those of us who want to be good Christians and just don’t have the religious temperament, or the religiously-wired temporal lobes, whichever it is?