Women Can’t be Husbands

I forgot to write something last night.

I got a condescending, presumptuous, rude email from a Mormon cousin I have met twice in my life, and she asked if she could perform a pagan (Mormon) rite in which my dead father’s soul would somehow be “tied” to Mormons in the afterlife.

The last thing you want from Mormons is to be tied to them in the afterlife, because Mormons who understand Mormon doctrine properly and accept it are not Christians, and they should expect to receive eternal damnation for practicing a non-Christian religion.

My father is with Yeshua in heaven, safe forever. He can’t be tied to children of perdition who are screaming in flames like Joseph Smith. Do all the rituals you want. My dad will never know. But God will know you threatened his children.

The request accompanied links to some folders containing pictures and documents from my dad’s side of the family. At the time, I thought her main motivation for contacting me was to share this material, but now I’m wondering if she had the photos for a long time and decided to use them as a pry bar to open a crack through which Mormonism could enter. The online folders and files I downloaded have recent dates, so maybe I’m too suspicious.

I was extremely blunt in my response to my cousin. I was civil, but I made it clear that to us, Mormonism was as bad as Freemasonry and African demon worship. I told her doing this Satanic proxy rite would be a violation of boundaries. I was civil, but I didn’t leave anything unsaid. I didn’t want to leave her any hope that would stimulate continued proselytizing. I wanted to utterly crush her confidence in her ability to persuade me. I strove to put out the light at the end of the tunnel.

Later, I asked my wife if I had overdone it, and she said my cousin was the problem. She said it was rude of my cousin, whom I don’t know and wouldn’t recognize if she walked into my house right now, to send me an email asking me to involve my family with her fringe religion, which she knows is contemned by actual Christians.

I forgot to write about my wife’s great performance in her proper role.

Her response shows how important it is for a Christian who literally knows God to marry another Christian who literally knows God. Not someone who memorized the Catholic catechism. Not someone who prays old prayers in books written by committees. A person who speaks in tongues, has visions, experiences miracles, and receives revelation and correction directly from God himself.

It is possible, after a confrontation, to gaslight yourself. You may doubt yourself when you were absolutely right. My wife reinforced me and helped me not to regress.

If I had married a typical spoiled American feminist who puts men on trial all day, worships the cult-promoter Oprah, does yoga, believes there are many ways to God, and thinks a bologna sandwich is the product of murder, I would have had to sleep in a separate room last night.

Well. My wife would have had to sleep in a separate room. This is my house, and I’m the man. My wife is the queen and priestess, but I am the king and priest, according to the command of the most high. I wouldn’t let anyone, even my wife, run me out. I have a responsibility to God, my wife, and my son not to allow myself to be bullied by those under my authority.

Thank God I have no mother-in-law butting in. Not saying I’m glad my wife’s mother died young. That’s a tragedy and a great loss, and it made my wife’s life much harder and colder. But there are guys on Reddit asking strangers for permission to speak up when mouthy old women with weak husbands come to visit.

I am not a natural leader or a macho man. I’m not assertive by nature. I don’t like telling other people what to do. I don’t like confrontation. I like being left alone. But I recognize my holy obligation to stand in front and lead this family. God curses men who won’t lead, and those curses hit their families, too.

There aren’t “many ways” to God. There is one way, and this is why Yeshua says he is “the way.” It’s why he says the gate is narrow and the path is tight. It’s why he says the road to damnation is wide.

When I’m forthright with people who are out of line, my wife never says, “You were right, but you could have handled it differently.” She backs me up. She doesn’t discourage me from doing my job.

Now that I think about it, she married me largely because I was direct. I was advised to post dating profiles that didn’t offend anyone, in order to cast a wide net. Instead, I told people exactly what I was, and I said they shouldn’t bother me if they had a problem with it. I shrunk the net. I stood up for the Holy Spirit. First thing you know, I had my wife. And the person who advised me is still single 4 years later.

I was stupid before God corrected me. When I was young, I thought marriage was an equal partnership. I thought men and women should share decision-making power. That’s all BS. Godly women want their husbands to make decisions for them. They don’t want to hold a referendum every time the family decides where to go out for dinner. They want to know where their lane is, and they want their husbands to leave them free to stay in it and get things done. It’s not fair for me to drag my wife into my job while expecting her to do hers as well.

Sometimes we have little disagreements, and sometimes I say something like, “I’m your husband, and this is what’s going to happen.” It doesn’t always go down well when I say it, but later the same day, everything is harmonious. It doesn’t drive us apart. It brings us closer. Several times a week, she tells me what a great husband I am. I don’t know if I would go that far, but if I’m doing well, it makes sense. A great wife should have a great husband. Great wives help God build great husbands.

I remind her to respect the system, and she listens. If I make a mistake, it doesn’t mean she should relieve me of command and take control. We have to believe the system God designed is more important than any single matter. Having a house where God’s authority can’t flow through proper channels is much worse than blowing a minor decision that can be rectified later.

All this would surely sound like abuse to your typical Oprah fan. Those are the ladies who end up giving their favorite baby names to cats. They use sperm donors to have daughters who have themselves skinned to make fake male genitals that don’t work. No one cares what the deranged and deluded think. When you want seamanship advice, you don’t radio the captain of the Titanic.

I dodged plenty of icebergs, and I was an iceberg, myself. By the time God brought me someone wonderful, he had corrected me well enough so I wouldn’t be a disastrous husband.

So yes, Mormonism came from Satan, I don’t care who doesn’t like it when I say so, and I will not let a desire for people’s approval ruin my family’s connection to the God who loves us.

Offending the right people can correct them or, if they can’t be corrected, drive them away permanently. Either way, it’s a win.