Get Used to Hearing That Cackle

What a disappointing day. Joe Biden finally got his wife’s permission to drop out of the presidential race. As of now, Dr. Jill Biden, First Lady, is no more.

Welcome back, Mrs. Joe Biden.

You know, Joe and Kamala are both doctors. They hold Juris Doctor degrees. Unlike an Ed.D., which is what Jill Biden and Bill Cosby have, a Juris Doctor requires slightly above average intelligence. It’s not a Ph.D., but it’s better than an Ed.D. Still, no one ever says “Dr. Joe” or “Dr. Kamala.” No one ever said “Dr. Michelle.”

Just putting it out there.

As of today, people are scratching Mrs. Joe Biden’s name off invitation lists. Some, I would guess, with sighs of relief. There may even be giddiness.

This is pretty much what I expected. Demented, arrogant, stubborn, and angry, Joe held out until they nearly had to give him roofies and have a ventriloquist withdraw for him.

Now we face Kamala. Joe has endorsed her, but not until after he withdrew, signaling a certain reluctance. My impression is that he doesn’t like her very much. It could be that he remembers her calling him a racist in a 2020 debate, or it could be her persistent refusal to do anything whatsoever, or put her name on anything, as vice president.

I was afraid Hillary Clinton might get into the race, but she has endorsed Harris, so we can breathe a sigh of relief. Hillary might have beaten Trump.

Her health is no good, and I doubt she could manage to campaign without collapsing a few times. We all remember the video of her handlers practically rolling her into her special black lift van. They got her to the open door on her own two feet, more or less, but when it opened, she dropped like ImClone stock after Martha Stewart sold it.

They literally propped her up against a bollard to make it look like she was okay.

When you talk about today’s Democrats, you have to say “literally” a lot. That was not always true.

She may not be up to the stress, either. Insiders say she threw a drunken, screaming fit the night she lost the 2016 election. That was 8 years ago, and she has not gotten any younger.

Newsom says he’s not running, which is good. I don’t want to see endless uncensored videos of piles of excrement on California sidewalks. Whitmer won’t run, either. It would be hard to sell the sane states on a tyrant who literally put the population of Michigan under house arrest for months.

I guess it’s Kamala, and that’s about as much as we could hope for. Biden is not very bright, yet, remarkably, she is conspicuously less so. She says bizarre, patently unintelligent things and cackles ingratiatingly, looking around for support which usually doesn’t come. “ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK.” A lot of voters will get tired of hearing that before the election.

Kamala’s initial failure to pass the California bar exam will surely come up repeatedly. That will help.

It’s a big deal when a lawyer fails a state bar exam with no extenuating circumstances. The California test is hard as bar exams go, but a lot of people who are not very smart have passed it on the first try.

I remember taking the Florida exam. I didn’t prepare all that well for it, and when I left the test room on the last day, I wondered if I had failed. Then I found out I had done exceptionally well. That should give you an idea how hard a typical bar exam is, and while the California test is harder, it’s not the Physics GRE.

God may be giving us a big break here. I certainly hope so. The thought of having Kamala Harris as our president is too painful to dwell on. And who would she choose to run with her? Maybe someone even worse. What if she picks Elizabeth Warren?

Biden’s presidency has been disastrous, but I would take him over Harris all day every day.

My thinking is that Biden held out for three reasons.

1. He is arrogant and demented.
2. His wife really, really wants to remain First Lady instead of being relegated to going to charity luncheons in moldy, starless Wilmington ballrooms three times a year.
3. Somebody has to pardon the Bidens. Federal crimes have a 5-year statute of limitations, and a lot of skulduggery has taken place among the Bidens relatively recently.

I think powerful people sat Biden down this weekend, just like Obama and Hillary sat him down in 2015, and told him it was time to sing his 10 o’clock song.

Remember that? Biden assumed he would be the nominee back then, but in those days, people still remembered him as a perennial butt of jokes from both sides of the aisle. He took his job and himself seriously, but no one else in the White House did. They sat him down and made him accept the truth: he was not a real vice president. He was just a harmless-looking running mate intended to make people feel better about Obama.

People forget, but it was remarkable to see an 8-year vice president get the foot in the face from people he worked with every day. As we all know, it’s just assumed that a vice president will get the nod when his boss’s last term is up. When it doesn’t happen, it means only one thing: a lack of confidence from party insiders.

He won in 2020 mainly because Hillary was too feeble and a lot of spoiled brats were angry at Trump for no reason at all. People like me said Biden was demented, but in those days, he was somewhat more coherent than he is now. Democrats decided they could prop him up like Strom Thurmond, and the public accepted it.

Obama and Hillary put him through something resembling the Total Perspective Vortex; the fictional machine that crushed Zaphod Beeblebrox’s deranged self-admiration and made him understand how insignificant and unimpressive he was.

I guess they kept the Vortex oiled and calibrated in case Biden needed to be deflated.

So how did they convince Biden to quit?

They could not fix his dementia or arrogance, so that wasn’t a factor. They could not promise Mrs. Joe Biden she would continue to pal around with the Clooneys and the Hankses. She will definitely be exiled to Wilmington, where she risks becoming the state’s Miss Havisham without the clout. Here’s one thing they could offer: relief from federal prosecution for the whole Biden clan.

It may be that if a Democrat wins, we will see a suppression of Biden-related criminal investigations and prosecutions, and we could possibly see a series of pardons and/or commutations. This may be what they promised Joe to get him to quit.

Will Biden have the sand to pardon Hunter before he leaves office? That’s a great question. He won’t do it before the election. That’s for sure. Not unless he is forced to resign before we vote. But after? What does he have to lose? If the election is in the bag, and he is about to be trundled off to Wilmington to die, maybe he will want to save his son more than his legacy. It would be hard for anyone to resist that temptation. Even a decent person.

I think Jill and Hunter had to be shouted down, and the Biden bros and the Biden sis must be nervous right now.

These are my guesses.

I wish Biden had continued his campaign, but Kamala is about the best second choice we could hope for. She will probably lose, and if she wins, she will make an insufferable ass of herself every day, resulting in an extremely weak presidency that helps Republican officeholders of every imaginable level. The damage done to the federal judiciary will be severe, but it won’t be any worse than what Biden would have done.

Kamala’s insufferability tour starts now.

Will Biden resign the presidency now that he has as much as admitted he can’t do the job? No. Mrs. Joe Biden can only be pushed so far.