Or Something

My wife had a funny revelation the other day. We were talking about the male fetishists who have decided they’re women, and we discussed the way they’re pushing women off the stage. My wife said it was “toxic femininity.”

Of course, that’s not really right. It’s toxic effeminacy. Males aren’t actually feminine. They mimic femininity.

Women are finally starting to speak up about the way trannies are mounting a hostile takeover. Too late, but at least it has started. Traditionally, women have been huge supporters of…I can’t think of a word…fruity men, I guess I’ll call them. Men are much, much sharper about fruity men. We can detect them easily, and we have a better understanding of their ability to do harm. We know they rape other males, for example. Women are often totally unable to detect fruitiness in men. They are so clueless, they often date or marry effeminate men everyone else knows are homosexual.

Liza Minnelli married three homosexuals and had no idea.

This is an example of what happens when women don’t listen to men. We were put on Earth to protect them, and they didn’t let us do it because they thought they knew better.

After decades of pushing the alphabet agenda, women are getting payback. Men are getting women’s awards. Men are ending women’s sports by making it impossible for women to win. Men are walking around naked in women’s locker rooms with female minors, with the law behind them. And women are just going to have to take it.

I saw something remarkable this week. Target now has a gay section, and they are selling women’s swimsuits for men. These suits have special flaps or something for men who want to hide their genitals. Sorry if this makes you gag, but they are called “tuck-friendly.” So there is more than one tucker in the news.

Adidas just put out a woman’s swimsuit ad featuring a man, and they had him stand with his side to the camera so his genitals push the suit out and announce their presence.

So where do women fit in now? Are they supposed to be like the chubby girl who goes to a bar with a beautiful friend, waiting for leftovers? Always Miss Congeniality, never Miss America?

This week people are talking about Miller Lite, a quasi-beer made with corn syrup and hop extract. Bud Light committed suicide by putting a famous tranny on its cans, and now people are upset because Miller Lite is shaming men…by shaming Miller. Insert question marks here.

Miller hired a completely talentless comedian named…I can’t remember because she’s so bad…I’m thinking…I gave up. I had to look her up again. Ilana Glazer. Miss Glazer did an ad in which she scolded the beer industry for using models in bikinis. As though commandos had kidnapped attractive girls and waterboarded them into putting on swimsuits.

I’m a Christian. I think lewd ads are a bad idea. But punishing the men you sold billions of cases of bad beer to, for liking ads you created without their input, is somewhat ridiculous.

Miss Glazer goes on to use profanity, with multiple ineffective bleeps, to describe what evil beer execs have foisted on women. She uses the S word over and over, and then she goes on a weird fantasy narrative about fictional women doing things with nonexistent manure in order to make beer.

It’s as crazy as it sounds.

She says women were involved in making beer when it was first discovered. As though this means something. Did someone claim women couldn’t make beer? Is that a sexist canard no one was aware of until now? Have women been battling unsuccessfully for the right to make beer? What man would ever tell anyone not to make beer?

Even Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby would have no problem allowing women to make beer. It’s not a real issue.

Now no one wants to buy Miller Lite, so if you go to your local store, you will probably see stacks of it alongside the cobwebbed towers of Anheuser-Busch products.

I’ll bet AB is telling drivers not to pile the cases up too high. Photos of unbought cases have filled the web.

Here’s an interesting fact Miller didn’t think about: women don’t like beer.

Okay, maybe when you were a kid, your mom greeted you every afternoon with her third Miller tall boy in her hand, and I am not claiming there is no woman who drinks beer, but men are over twice as likely to drink it, and, more germanely, to buy it.

Should I use the word “germanely” even though I’m male? Am I appropriating anything? I didn’t type “Germainely.”

Let me adjust my dreadlocks.

So Miller Coors decided to offend the very demographic that buys their awful and totally fungible product, in order to please a demographic that will never buy much of it no matter what they do.

Incidentally, “Miller Coors” is a hilarious name, because for years, people who like good beer have been referring to bad factory beer as “Budmilcoors.” Life parodies parody.

Here’s more weird information about Miller’s kamikaze advertising: the people who made the ad were chosen via affimative action. Miller hired an all-gal team.

Here’s another important generalization: women aren’t funny.

Yes, there are some funny women. Now, find me a woman who is as funny as Dave Chappelle. Find me a female W.C. Fields or Charlie Chaplin or Mike Meyers. If I name 50 really funny male comedians, can you name 50 female comics who are just as good? No way in heaven or Earth.

Ilana Glazer herself is about as funny as anaphylactic shock on a camping trip. She has appeared in a show called The Broad Show or Broadly Speaking or something, and maybe she’s a funny comic actress when reading other people’s material, but her standup show is as entertaining as watching Hannah Gadsby pass kidney stones.

There is a new crop of female comedians, and they are not like the old ones. When we watched the old ones, we laughed because they were funny. When we watch the new affirmative action beneficiaries, we listen in silence while captive audiences laugh because they’re supposed to.

Not laughing at bad female comedians is sexist.

“Are you an obese Indian lesbian? You are a gifted female comedian. Netflix is proud to have you.” “Do you cut yourself and hate your mother? We have a studio audience you can tell about it.”

I never liked Roseanne Barr’s personality much, but she was funny. Joan Rivers was funny. The girl who impersonates the Asian nail lady is funny. Merit used to mean something. Now you just have to have the right chromosomes.

Well, that was stupid. The chromosomes will actually put transvestites ahead of you in line. But you’ll still be privileged compared to normal men.

I mean men who admit they’re men and don’t have sex with men…who don’t admit they’re men. Or who do admit they’re men but..I give up.

By the way, when I say female comedians aren’t that good, I mean actual comedians, not comic actresses. If you can’t write material, you’re not a comedian. You’re a fake, like Lily Tomlin.

To get back to the ad, Miller hired an all-girl team to make an ad proving women are funny, and they made an ad that’s not funny at all. It’s just angry. “Shame on you for letting our company let women with free will exhibit themselves.” “Shame on you for denying women credit for brewing beer, which you didn’t actually do.”

Hasn’t anyone seen Laverne and Shirley?

Miller actually reinforced the notion that women need help.

You know what would have prevented this? They could have hired funny trannies. Men who claim to be women but still have male humor genes. That would have been perfect.

“We proved women are talented and funny by hiring women with male genitals.”

It brings me back to toxic effeminacy. The fairer sex is committing suicide in America.

The problem with women’s sports is more damaging than people are saying. Why do girls play sports? For fun? No. To get scholarships. They don’t keep playing field hockey or whatever after they leave college. A few go on to make $60,000 a year in the WNBA, a lot of which comes from charity dollars from the NBA, but the real purpose of women’s sports is to save families huge tuition bills and get mediocre students into good colleges. Having that taken away is devastating to a girl.

It can be the difference between Stanford Law and Red Lobster.

You know what I want to see? Dylan Mulvaney with a Best Actress Oscar. Maybe that will wake women up for real. At that point, the tranny conquest will be complete, and women will only be used to create new male babies.

Instead of becoming female impersonators, trannies will become female impersonator impersonators. Forget Cher and Dolly Parton. Let’s all be Dylan.

Why is “female impersonator” still a phrase? Seems transphobic to me. Someone hit the cancel button.

I don’t know it can be any clearer that the end of the age is here. We may have years, but I doubt we have decades. Maybe God is waiting for us to do animal sex acts during Super Bowl halftime.

Here’s a revelation I got today. My wife and I were talking, and we were discussing the fact that we don’t belong to our earthly nations. We are just visitors who are citizens of heaven. We are ambassadors, and our bodies are embassies. The Bible says these things.

I asked her what a country does when war breaks out. Answer: it calls its ambassadors home. We didn’t have diplomats in Berlin during World War Two. There is no point in keeping diplomats in a hostile alien area during a war. When you’re at war, diplomacy has failed.

God has been diplomatic for thousands of years. The time for diplomacy is over. It didn’t work. It’s almost time for us to go, and I can’t wait. I want to live in a world without leftists. My home world.

Guess it’s a good thing I started making my own beer this year. Not that I drank Bud Light or Miller Lite to begin with.