Get me Some White Socks and a Can of Skoal
October 16th, 2008I Think I’m Recovering From a Long Illness
Because I’ve been fooling around in the yard so much, and doing so much with tools, I came to realize I could no longer get by with my little Cold Steel Voyager pocket knife. I had to upgrade.
I went to the Sports Authority. No knives, except for fileting. Figures. Those wimps have completely caved to the forces of wussdom. I went to Home Depot. Nothing there that a sane person would buy. I finally had to give up and go to Bass.
The selection was not phenomenal, but it was good. I got me a big honkin’ Gerber Gator II. It’s heavy as lead, but it should be tough enough to handle manure bags and so on, and it’s not so expensive I’ll be afraid to use it. My last couple of Gerbers were not wonderful, but then this is a yard knife, so who cares?
I felt so great at Bass. They had bass boats and flats boats and weird ATVs on display. They were playing country music. There is a whole lot of bad country music, but still, it’s nice to hear it again once in a while. I am not kidding when I say walking into Bass is like walking into church. I wonder if the company has any Christian connection.
On the way home, I had to pass a guy who was driving really slowly, and I got irritated, and then I realized his car was probably acting up. I felt like I should stop, but I had absolutely nothing I could use to help him. And it occurred to me that as much as I enjoy the T-bird, a pickup would be a much more responsible choice. I could keep a few tools in it, and I could actually be of some use to humanity on occasion. I remember helping build my old church. Try hauling plywood in a T-bird.
Geez, I want out of here. I think I’ve milked this town for all it’s worth. I want to go to bed and hear absolutely nothing through my windows, except the inevitable nature sounds. I want to be able to kill anything on my property that bothers me. I want room to walk around. I want to burn my Italian suits.
I am going to work on it for real. Maybe the Good Lord will give me a good opportunity.
Here is the fish tank at Bass. Not a great photo. I altered it to bring out some details.
Man, I wanted to murder those fish! The big ones in the middle of the window are yellowtail snapper, and they’re the size of salmon.
October 16th, 2008 at 6:17 PM
Consider a Dodge with the Cummins. In reasonable use, with an automatic, you should get about 20mpg in mixed driving. For something with 600+ foot pounds of torque that is pretty nice.
October 16th, 2008 at 6:20 PM
I want to burn my Italian suits.
Would that smell like burning sheep smothered in red sauce?
October 16th, 2008 at 6:39 PM
Walking in Bass Pro gives one hope that It will get better, cost about the same as a therapist too.
October 16th, 2008 at 7:26 PM
Don’t burn those suits! They’re worth keeping just for the essay you wrote about men’s suits.
October 16th, 2008 at 7:27 PM
Ha. Yeah, Bass Pro is like a cornucopia. I’m not even into fishing and I love the place.
October 16th, 2008 at 7:37 PM
Here in northwest Indiana a new Bass Pro and a Cabela’s both opened up last year about ten miles apart, close enough to the People’s Republic of Illinois to draw a lot of customers.
In my opinion Bass Pro is the better place for fishing tackle and marine supplies while Cabela’s has them beat in camping, guns, ammo selection, hunting, outdoor clothing and overall quality. They also have a large “Gun Library” that makes me drool.
As a destination Bass Pro has a Disney or circus feel that families like while the Cabela’s is more sedate. Either way, as an avid outdoorsman I am very pleased they are both nearby. Just my opinion.
October 16th, 2008 at 7:57 PM
Move back to Texas. It’s wonderful out here.
October 16th, 2008 at 8:59 PM
You’d fit right in up here in Northeast Georgia, Steve. You know… You’re bitter and clingy like us folks here. And we have a Bass Pro.
October 16th, 2008 at 9:13 PM
I thought you were in Atlanta.
I tried to find properties in the Rabun Gap area, but it seemed like it was all touristy, with tiny lots and cute faux chalets.
October 16th, 2008 at 9:35 PM
Yeah, the north GA mountains would be nice, too…
October 16th, 2008 at 10:23 PM
The Bass Pro here in the DFW area has the largest gun sales in the whole chain according to a gun guy behind the counter. They are buy and trade guns now and it is a great place just to graze around for an hour or so.
October 16th, 2008 at 10:50 PM
Move to KY, we got more religion and guns than you would know what to do with!
October 16th, 2008 at 11:25 PM
I’m not sure if Bass Pro has a Christian connection, per se, but Johnny Morris and Bass Pro are both from Springfield, MO, where everybody is either Southern Baptist, Assemblies of God, or used to be.
October 16th, 2008 at 11:42 PM
All we hear at night are the sounds of nature – an occasional owl, crickets, a bobcat, some coyotes, my upset chickens, ducks and guineas and finally, my dogs, barking like crazy to get out of the house to chase the bad evil bobcat, coyote or cougar.
Then, John and I grab our rifles, step out on the deck, and shoot the coyotes and/or bobcats to protect our livestock.
Actually, I love living out here. The stars are brighter and we are 1/4 mile from our nearest neighbor!
You are, of course, welcome to visit anytime!
October 16th, 2008 at 11:57 PM
You can still pick up land pretty reasonable here in central Florida. I got lucky and found 10 acres. There’s deer,turkeys, raccoons and turtles running around. Every morning I check for tracks to see what’s been running around since the previous evening.
I carry a Leatherman Fuze on my belt ’cause I never know when I’m gonna need a pair of pliers or a pick or scissors. Handy for pulling dud rounds out of the Mossberg 46B, that Russian Vostok Target is pretty crappy but it sure was cheap. All my neighbors shoot, too: sometimes on a Sunday it sounds like a war zone around here.
October 17th, 2008 at 1:36 AM
On the subject of pocket knives, that Gerber Gator is a good knife. I carry a Gerber Ultralite because it weighs almost nothing. The draw back is that you can’t pry or twist with the blade. The handle just isn’t stiff enough. I just ordered a bunch of SOG Assisted Technology knives to sell in my store. These knives open so fast and easy they’re almost switch blades.
October 17th, 2008 at 6:09 PM
The Bass Pro Shop out here near L.A. is like a Disneyland for Americans.
But I think that fish tank magnifies a bit.
Good gator fritters, though.