I Physically Feel my Life Being Enriched

I’m waiting for some paint to dry, so I came up with a task for ChatGPT. I told it to write a poem in the manner of “The Walrus and the Carpenter,” but I said to make the lead characters Hillary Clinton and Hunter Biden.

Here is what it wrote, in about 15 seconds:

Of Hillary Clinton and Hunter Biden, I sing,
Two figures of politics, quite a thing!
They wandered down to the ocean blue,
In search of a meal and a good laugh too.

Said Clinton to Hunter, “Let’s take a stroll,
And find ourselves a tasty goal.”
Said Hunter, “I know just what to do,
We’ll hunt for some crabs, it’s easy too.”

They searched and searched along the shore,
Till Hunter found some crabs galore.
He said to Clinton, “Come take a look,
We’ll cook them up in a fancy nook.”

They gathered sticks and made a fire,
And cooked the crabs to their desire.
But when they went to take a bite,
The crabs had fled in great fright.

Said Clinton, “Hunter, what have you done?
Our meal is gone, we’ve had no fun.”
Said Hunter, “Don’t worry, we’ll find a way,
To catch those crabs another day.”

And so they left the beach that night,
Without a meal or any delight.
But they still had each other, that’s for sure,
And the promise of crabs, to catch and allure.

It refused to write one about Keith Olbermann and Charles Manson, so I asked for Olbermann and Ted Nugent.

Of Keith Olbermann and Ted Nugent, I write,
Two men with views that oftentimes ignite.
They met one day upon a wooded trail,
Both hunters, though with different tales to regale.

Said Nugent, “Keith, let’s hunt some game today,
I know a spot where we can surely slay.”
Olbermann agreed, but with some trepidation,
He feared he’d face Nugent’s bombastic proclamations.

As they ventured through the woods and brush,
They talked of guns, politics, and other such.
But as they walked, they both espied,
A rare bird with plumage bright and wide.

Said Nugent, “That’s dinner, let’s take it down!”
But Olbermann recoiled, with a frown.
He said, “Ted, can’t we just watch it soar,
And admire the beauty that we adore?”

Nugent laughed, and said, “You’re quite the sight,
Not wanting to hunt, that’s not quite right.”
But Olbermann stood firm in his beliefs,
And said, “Let’s leave this bird to peace.”

So they parted ways, with different views,
But both respected the other’s pursuits.
For though their opinions were often in dispute,
They both enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, just in different pursuit.

The poems are not really funny, the rhythm is off, the number of stanzas is wrong in each case, and the bot clearly hates hunting, but the fact that it did this well is something to think about.

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I got it to write a better poem.

Once upon a time, in the land of the news,
A laptop was found, causing quite the blues,
For it belonged to Hunter, the son of a man,
Whose name was Biden, part of a political clan.

The laptop was filled, with some juicy stuff,
That made the journalists, huff and puff,
They said it was fake, and just a sham,
But the evidence was clear, and it wasn’t a scam.

Hunter’s laptop, was the real deal,
It had all the facts, and the journalists could feel,
The weight of their words, and the doubt they sowed,
For the truth was out there, and it freely flowed.

The laptop contained, some pictures and more,
Of Hunter’s life, that he couldn’t ignore,
There were messages and emails, that were quite a sight,
That shed light on his dealings, and caused some fright.

The journalists denied, that it was true,
But the laptop was real, and the proof just grew,
They couldn’t hide, from the facts that emerged,
And the public saw, how their trust was purged.

So let this be a lesson, to all the journalists out there,
To never underestimate, the truth that’s rare,
For it may come back, to haunt and reveal,
That what they thought was fake, was actually real.