I Want That Glow

In 2021, my pet cockatoo, Maynard, died at the age of 30. It was very unpleasant for me. It’s bad losing a dog after 12 or so years. Imagine a dog you had for 30 years, and then imagine it talked to you every day and smothered you with obsessive affection. Then imagine making a series of mistakes resulting in its unnecessary death.

Since he died, I have seen him in several dreams. In the first one, he clambered onto me, and he was radiant. He seemed to be smiling. It’s hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t owned a parrot, because parrots have rigid beaks, but it’s very obvious when a parrot is happy. They really look like they’re smiling.

I held him and kissed him, and then he was gone. The dream was sad but wonderful. I felt I had closure.

The day he died, he seemed to be okay until evening. Then I saw him breathing with his beak open. He was under the care of a local vet who turned out to be totally incompetent. I rushed him to the University of Florida. They took him into an exam room and refused to let me in because of leftist covid hysteria. Then the vet called my cell phone and told me Maynard was dead. He had been in the room for maybe 5 minutes. He didn’t ask me to go to the room. He didn’t bring Maynard out. I never saw Maynard again. The girl at the cash register charged me hundreds of dollars, and they suggested an extremely expensive necropsy and an expensive method of disposal, and I rejected both.

That was it. I left his body and travel cage at the animal hospital and drove home alone, and there I was faced with one living parrot and Maynard’s empty cage, complete with bird toys and unfinished food and water.

In the dream, he glowed with love and joy. I felt forgiven.

I have seen him in other dreams. Always happy.

Last night, I found one of his wing feathers in my living room under a book. I felt like I had found a gold Rolex. When a parrot is alive and well, you don’t think about saving a few feathers. A while later, I heard Maynard’s voice, asking me what I was doing. It was Marvin, my grey, imitating him. Marv sounds exactly like him. He hasn’t imitated him much lately.

Marvin appears to have a supernatural ability to pick up on people’s thoughts and emotions. For example, when I think something is funny, he laughs before I do. He even does this when we’re not in the same room and his view is blocked. He does it when I’m on long calls with my wife. It’s shocking when it happens. Last night, Maynard was on my mind, and Marvin imitated him.

I’m always happy when he imitates Maynard. I miss Maynard’s voice. I wish I could do things over.

After Marv did his imitation, I wanted more. I put some videos of Maynard on Youtube many years ago, using accounts I no longer have access to. I tried to find a video. I managed to find one, but it wasn’t very good. It was short, and he didn’t say anything. It was still nice to see him.

All this makes me wonder: would God send a pet into a person’s dreams to bring comfort and closure?

People think pets cease to exist when they die, because heaven isn’t for animals, but that’s not consistent with scripture. The Bible mentions a white horse Jesus rides in the spirit realm. A horse you ride is a pet. It also mentions supernatural creatures with animals’ faces. Animals can’t sin, so they have no guilt. It makes no sense to destroy them when they die, especially when so many of them do so much for us while they’re alive.

I think I’ll see my pets again, and I think my failures as an owner will be forgotten. I believe Maynard is with God, and I expect to be with him again.

In 2020, my young friend Travis was shot accidentally, and he died alone in a hospital room. He was there for a month, and they wouldn’t even let him receive cards. At first, they said his injuries weren’t life-threatening, but he got worse and died anyway. Toward the end, I saw him in a dream. He came to see me, and he glowed just like Maynard did. He had a huge smile on his face, but he couldn’t talk. He looked like he knew something good I didn’t know. My feeling is that he was rescued from the world, and he wanted me to know my turn was coming soon.

Last night I felt as though finding Maynard’s feather and hearing Marv imitate him were warnings that I would be with Maynard soon.

Every day when Rhodah and I pray together, I pray that God will rapture his children soon, and I ask him to help us to recognize the season when he will come. Christians like to harp about no one knowing the day or hour, but Jesus clearly expected us to know the general time of our rescue. I’m wondering if yesterday’s experiences were an answer to our prayers.

I feel very alienated from the human race. People are extremely vile now, and it is impossible break through their impudence and help them avoid hell and the tribulation. People are like pigs, which walk around staring at the ground, thinking about food. They’re like rats, which focus on filling their holes with things they can eat. They’re like monkeys, which spend their time stealing and fighting. Talking to them is about like walking to the fence outside my house and trying to teach the cattle.

I love getting revelation from God, but at the same time, when I get revelation, it makes me sad, because I know nearly no one will let me share it with them. I can tell Rhodah and one or two other people, and that’s all. I have a Youtube viewer who agrees with me, and there are a couple of blog readers I hear from, but as for the rest of the world, it’s pearls before swine, all day, every day. It’s particularly bad with Christians because they get ahold of some bad doctrine and decide they know everything.

I don’t think I’m going to die. I think I’m going to leave, and all of my supernatural experiences are preparation.

I can’t describe my gratitude for my isolation from the world. I look at the web, and I see how worldly people live. They have no dignity now. People will not permit it. The government will not permit it. Satan’s children play a tune, and even Christians have to dance and smile. Wave the white flag. Use the pronouns. You want to keep your job?

Christians who didn’t prepare are stuck in bad situations.

I see stories about people being attacked by criminals in places like Chicago and New York. How different my world is. I carry a gun and a knife everywhere. Even to the bank. I don’t have a local prosecutor trying to lock good people up for self-defense. No one is setting criminals free for George Soros here. And yes, he really does bankroll such attorneys. It’s not a myth.

If someone starts kicking my front door, I can display a rifle with 31 rounds in it, and if he doesn’t quit, I can fire. If I’m at a gas station, and someone tries to rob me, I can shoot. At least at this stage of the apocalypse, I don’t have to worry that a mob will pull me out of my car and beat me to death. I have a governor that got a law passed to protect mob victims who use their own cars to defend themselves. In Florida, it’s a crime to be part of a mob that deliberately intimidates people.

People are nice here. We open doors for each other. We yield the right of way when we don’t have to. My neighbors came onto my property without permission once. So they could cut and move a tree that blocked my driveway. I got my septic tank pumped this week, and when the young man who gave me the bill left, he said, “God bless you.”

Leftists are against God, and they love telling the world how hateful Christians and conservatives are. Meanwhile, in their cities, they’re afraid to leave their homes at night. They’re afraid to use ATM’s. They can’t get out of their cars in their cities unless they’re in certain small areas that are relatively safe. They riot. They abuse each other. Here, where there are Trump signs everywhere, people are kind and gentle. Black people are comfortable around white people. That’s tough to get used to after Miami. Seems like everyone in Miami is racist. Cubans against all blacks. Blacks against Cubans and whites. Black people treated me very differently in Miami.

Who is doing things right? If the God-haters are as miserable and angry as they are, and we’re at peace and full of love, who is right?

I told Rhodah it reminded me of the story of Lazarus and the rich man. They were in the underworld, dead, and Lazarus the beggar was with Abraham, in a pleasant place, waiting to be taken to heaven. The rich man, who had no name any more, was in a place of torment. He could see Lazarus, but there was a great gulf between them, and no one could cross it.

People like me live in the same world with BLM and Antifa nuts. We share the world with men in dresses. We’re in the same general area, but our experiences are so different, we might as well be on different planets.

God’s people have peace and victory. We have real love, not fake love. We aren’t afraid of death. We are confident we’ll be taken care of. We want to help others. Satan’s children live in fear and selfishness. They are cruel. They’re terrified. They’ve been known to wear masks while alone in their cars. They feel cheated, and they think the way to be prosperous and safe is to harm other people. They want to harm us by taking the things with which God has blessed us.

When we look at the world, we see a place that will end soon, and we expect to go to a better place. When they look at the world, they see increased crowding, an environment they believe is about to fail us, pollution that will never end, energy problems that can’t be solved, and a planet that has to be maintained and improved at any cost, because they have no hope of finding any other home. They think this is all there is. To me, the global warming hysteria is a crazy joke not to be taken seriously, but they actually believe billions will die soon if we keep using plastic bags. Imagine being that insane.

I can’t put myself in their shoes. I can’t imagine thinking this world is all there is. What’s it like to have a panic attack because someone else used a styrofoam cup? It’s beyond my powers of conception.

I see Greta Thunberg as what she is: a spoiled, mentally ill, hysterical, controlling, abusive, conceited, attention-loving, science-illiterate girl who needs to shut up and respect her elders. They see her as a savior! She’s out of her mind!

I felt God’s grief last night and this morning. He grieves because of the tribulation. He has no desire to see people suffer like that, but it has to be done. He reminded me that it’s not just a curse. It’s also a blessing. “Tribulation” means using a tool to separate grain from its husk. Many people will be harvested to heaven during the tribulation. We have to focus on that and not dwell on the self-inflicted fate of the others.

I’m disappointed every time a month passes and the rapture still hasn’t come. I can’t wait for it. The irredeemable and near-irredeemable will be stuck here, free to claw and hack at each other without restraint, but I hope to get two great blessings: 1) to be free from their kind forever, and 2) to be with God, who is love, peace, joy, and perfect protection.

Compared to heaven, this entire world is a ghetto and a death camp. It’s as if heaven were Switzerland, the earth were Detroit, and hell, which is part of Earth, were Auschwitz. Except hell is worse than Auschwitz.