Know What You’re Sleeping With

One great thing about being female these days is that you can deflect just about any criticism of your gender, truthful and valuable though it may be, by claiming it’s sexist. Unfortunately, however, there are faults which are especially common among women, and it is profitable to know what they are. It’s very profitable for women, because one fault women commonly have is that they dislike other women and try to ruin them.

Yeah, I said it.

Here are two other faults common to women: they are much more vindictive than men, and they tend to take revenge through dishonesty or subterfuge. People get mad at me when I say these things, but they’re true.

It’s amazing how rarely women forgive. Often, when a woman says she forgives, she really means she has decided to be quiet about your sin until the next time she needs to bring it up in order to control you. Right now, a friend of a friend is being tormented by his forgiving wife for an affair he had decades ago. He woke up one day, recently, and found out over $80,000 was gone from his business’s bank account. A divorce is in the works. His grown kids will not talk to him. Real forgiveness is permanent. You’re not allowed to put the paddles on it and bring it back to life when it’s convenient.

People who don’t really forgive go to hell, even if they go to church, pray, give to the poor, and make cookies for the homeless. Hell is full of Christians. It’s full of women who only pretended to forgive other people.

Today, one of my best friends looked in his closet, and guess what he found in the suit he wore to his marriage rededication celebration? A bottle of fentanyl pills.

It is painful to refer to the woman who (presumably) did this to him as his wife, but that’s what she is. The divorce is not final.

According to my friend, she is not permitted to have contact with him or the children. That’s a good thing, because he says she went to the house a while back, tried to get him to fight her, beat herself up in front of their kids, and then called the police in order to have him arrested for DV. Of course, the kids told the cops what happened. It’s amazing she would be so dumb.

He says she has tried to convince the police he sells fentanyl. It looks like he found the proof she planned to give them.

He flushed the pills down the toilet, he says, and he did not take pictures. Too bad. He was scared because he had touched the bottle. He was afraid fentanyl would poison him through his skin. I guess he wanted the bottle and the contents far from his children.

If you get enough fentanyl on your skin and you leave it on long enough, it can kill you in a hurry. What kind of person puts fentanyl where her children can get it?

He showed me a handwritten list he said she had made. Poisons. This one and that one. Dosage. Effects. How long they took to kill. How much suffering they caused.

He was discouraged today. I told him he should be glad. God showed him a bomb that was waiting to blow up and ruin his family. He looked out for my friend and defeated his wife.

I said he should search the whole house.

She’s not going to get anywhere with a bottle of fentanyl. It wouldn’t have his prints on it. There would be no way to connect it with a dealer. There are no customers. There is no evidence of unreported income. There is no cash in mattresses. What there is is a crazy ex-wife who has already been caught lying to the police. Allegedly.

He says the cops have asked his kids about drugs before, because of his wife’s accusations. They asked if people were coming and going, the way they would if he were selling drugs. The kids said they hadn’t seen anyone like that. Allegedly.

In the state where he lives, merely having fentanyl in your house doesn’t make you guilty of selling drugs. The state has to provide evidence you knew it was there and intended to sell it. That will be hard to prove when the possessor is a family man with no drug history, no clientele, and a wife who makes lists of poisons and beats herself up for the police. And if drugs turn up in locations that are obviously hiding places, it will make it harder to prove he knew they were there. If I were selling fentanyl, I would keep it on top of the toilet, and I would flush it at the first sign of trouble. I would never hide it.

I could have a ton of fentanyl on my property right now. How would I know?

The cops found dope growing on the grounds of a courthouse where my grandfather was a judge. They didn’t arrest the courthouse employees.

So what about the wife, buying fentanyl, possessing it, and planting it? If the suspicions are correct, she has a lot to answer for. I told him if he found any more drugs, he should have the containers fingerprinted.

Gentlemen, if the lady you want to marry lies about other people and does sneaky things to them, she will, and probably is, doing the same things to you. If not, she will as soon as things stop going her way. A word to the wise. In order to find out what someone is capable of, look at the way they treat people they hate or don’t care about. You may become such a person one day.

Only God can find you a good woman. If you chose one yourself, you took a huge chance.