No Munich for You!

I will say this for the Germans: they may not be helpful, but they are fast. My wife applied for a tourist visa last week, and she was turned down early this morning. Why? Because they think she wants to stay in Germany as an illegal alien.

This is different from our experience with the Italians. Their representative in Lusaka lied to us, convincing Rhodah she would get a visa if we bought airline tickets in advance. She was extremely rude and insulting, too. The Germans were polite and truthful and simply said no.

I have been reading about the problems Africans have getting visas in Europe. It appears to be a systemic thing.

I read a remarkable story about two African scholars. They helped put together some kind of scholarly gathering in Europe, with lots of academics. They visited Europe once and went home. Then they applied to return for the event. Their presence was vital to the event’s success. Excluding them would have been like excluding the Rolling Stones from a Rolling Stones concert. They were clearly employed in their own country. They had all sorts of proof they intended to return. They were turned down.

Boris Johnson, former prime minister of England, acknowledged the problems Africans had with visas. A couple of years back, he got so upset, he spurred reforms.

Some people say the problem is racism. I don’t think that’s accurate, although it may be. I think it’s just incompetence and institutional prejudice.

Prejudice is not the same thing as racism. You can be prejudiced about anything. It doesn’t have to be race. To be prejudiced means you make judgments without knowing the facts. The people who grant European visas are very clearly prejudiced against citizens of African countries. Even the nice countries. Not just Nigeria.

A baboon could look at Rhodah’s history of travel to foreign countries, as well as her husband’s assets in America, and realize there is no possibility she will try to stay in Europe and clean people’s toilets for cash. The Europeans, who are known to be smarter than baboons, didn’t really look at our applications. They just stamped them. African? No visa.

This makes me realize there is no point in trying to find Zambian employment or buying Zambian real estate for Rhodah. The Europeans claim they look for such ties when granting visas, but they are obviously lying. If two university instructors can’t get in, with a horde of European academics vouching for them, and a history of visiting and then going home, a crummy Zambian house and a job won’t get Rhodah in.

Why should a house or a job help? You can move to Europe and then sell your house. You can move to Europe and quit your job in Zambia so you can get down to toilet cleaning and hiding from the government. Sure, if you’re the president of Zambia, or you own a huge emerald mine you have to manage personally, you would need to get back to Zambia fast. Other people with normal jobs and properties would not.

A normal Zambian job would not be a big motive to get back to Zambia, because an illegal alien would be trying to get away from a life of normal Zambian jobs.

I don’t think a Caucasian would have been approved, either, but I can’t say for sure. Rhodah said the lady at the Italian embassy sucked up to a white family during the same visit when she was snotty to Rhodah.

The Germans were polite and respectful and still turned her down, so maybe the demeanor of embassy employees doesn’t mean much.

We are not upset with the Germans, because they didn’t abuse us. They were just following orders.

Sorry.

We are back to looking at destinations.

Oddly, Hong Kong is now open, and we could both go tomorrow without visas. It would be an interesting destination, even if it’s small and not likely to keep us entertained for more than three or four days. The big problem with Hong Kong is the quarantine rule. We would have to sit in a special hotel for three days and pass covid tests. That wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it’s a consideration. What if one of us failed a test? Imagine two weeks in a hotel room, with the same room service menu in front of you the whole time.

Singapore and the Philippines are open and will let Rhodah in immediately. Both hot, humid places. Singapore is tiny, so again, not much to sustain our interest. The Philippines are poor and don’t have much to offer.

We can go to a whole bunch of sweaty beach destinations. Lots of Caribbean islands. Bermuda. The Seychelles. Beaches only appeal to shallow people who don’t have a lot going on upstairs, though. Lie in the sun. Get drunk in the evening. Parasail. Lie in the sun. Get drunk again.

We are looking into the UK because of Boris Johnson’s efforts. We are also going to apply to Ireland again. It’s not the destination of our dreams, but it’s pleasant and welcoming. The Irish treated us very, very well, both at the embassy and during our visit. We will never forget that, even if we do get tired of tourist-grade fish and chips.

I have never had any interest in visiting England or Scotland. Ugly architecture, no mountains, mediocre scenery, bad food which is in some cases frightening…not exciting. I have no interest in going to “the old country” and looking up my ancestors. I have no ties whatsoever to Great Britain. I don’t care about my ancestors. I’d be over there eating disappointing meals and wishing I were in France or Austria.

I don’t understand people who want to poke around in courthouses and libraries and look for their own surnames. Maybe that would be interesting if I had noble blood or something, but my ancestors were pretty much owned by nobles and did absolutely nothing to make the world remember them.

Even if your ancestors were a big deal, should you really be proud? Here’s something you can say to most people who have impressive ancestors: “If they were so great, what happened to you?”

I’m not interested in getting to know the British, because I have seen such disappointing things. Unbelievable coarseness. Rudeness. Arrogance. Hatred of Christianity. Maybe the media and the web show the worst side of England, but I don’t want to bet thousands of dollars to find out the truth.

Maybe I’ve watched too many Guy Ritchie movies.

The French are rude, and that is fact, not bigotry, but I still want to go back. The food and sights are worth putting up with the percentage of French people who are offensive. When the British grow a Mont Blanc and invent things that can compete with croissants and Napoleons, I might change my mind and put Great Britain on my list beside France.

I’m harder on Americans than anyone, in case a British person is reading this and feeling feisty. American places I would pay not to visit: Miami, Chicago, St. Louis, Memphis, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Boston, San Francisco, Detroit, New Orleans, Miami, Cleveland, Atlanta, Houston, Miami….

I would rather spend a month in London or even Glasgow than a day in Miami.

Many of our cities are snakepits. It amazes me that foreigners are willing to pay to see them.

I think I really depressed a guy in Ireland. He was looking forward to his Miami vacation, and I made the mistake of giving him my views. Dude…you live two hours away from…EVERYTHING…and you want to go to Miami, sit on one of the world’s worst beaches, and spend half your vacation stuck in traffic, listening to rap through the closed windows?

The nonexistence of Miami will be one of the key benefits of the Messianic Age.

Think of the places an Irish person could go for a fraction of the cost of a Miami mistake. Rome. Athens. The Tirol. Paris. Marseilles. Istanbul. Vienna. Norway. Zermatt. It makes me sick.

I should have kept quiet, though.

Okay, whatever. We’ll pick a couple of places in Ireland we haven’t seen yet, we’ll get really nice hotels, and we’ll tough it out. Maybe we’ll see London if things go our way. First world problems, right? The best kind of problems to have.