“Let us Big, Strong Men Tell You What to Buy”

I had a fascinating experience today.

One of my house’s AC systems went out because of a slow refrigerant leak. The system is 22 years old, so it’s a wonder it lasted so long.

Last year, it did the same thing, and a local company sent a guy out. He could probably have convinced me the unit was shot, but instead, he cleaned it up, shot refrigerant into it, and got it working. The cost was under $300, and a new AC system costs more than that when you divide the price by the lifespan, so it was a good deal at the time. He said we would see how things went. Now I know how that worked out. We gave it the old college try.

He was honest with me, so I made a note to remember the company. I will call it Sweatbusters.

I called Sweatbusters today and told them to come out, see if the unit was dead, and give me repair and replacement options. They took a long time, so I thought they weren’t serious, so I called another outfit which showed up in about 90 minutes.

The second outfit, which I will call Freezcorp, sent two guys. A technician and a salesman. Uh oh.

They said the system was kaput. They didn’t offer a repair option. They started throwing numbers like $15,000 around. Keep in mind, this is a 2-ton unit, and I replaced a 5-ton unit for $7000 in 2017.

They said Lennox made the best machines. I needed a Lennox. I also needed a new air handler cabinet, even though the old one looks fine. The salesman gave me the reason: the old one had had a big heavy machine sitting on it for 22 years. They said a new system would have a UV light to kill germs and mold and give me hospital-quality air. They would put one big filter on the air handler so I could stop putting filters in my numerous ceiling returns.

They said I could pay something like $180 per month for Freezcorp to come out and fix the system for nothing. Okay, not for nothing. For $180 per month. This would include changing filters. I have never had any problems changing air conditioner filters. They were willing to finance the job at 7.9%. I don’t blame them. I would like to lend people money at 7.9%, too.

I said I had heard Bryant was a good choice because their units were made by Carrier in Carrier factories. Carrier is supposed to be one of the two best American brands. They said Bryant was made from Chinese parts. I definitely didn’t want a Bryant. Bryant bad. I already have a 5-ton Bryant, so that didn’t sound good.

They finally wrote me an estimate. For $9200, which was a huge discount, Freezcorp would put the system in tomorrow. This was after I rejected the UV nonsense and all the smart idiocy that allows your neighbors’ children to hack your system and set your thermostat at 90° in August at 3 a.m.

I can’t believe anyone wants a smart home. Yes, I’m going to put cameras throughout my house so Russian hackers can film me on the toilet and curse at me while I’m trying to sleep. It’s totally worth it so I can change my toaster’s darkness setting while I’m traveling.

I told the salesman I was used to dealing with contractors because I have rental properties. I said I did not jerk people around. I was going to buy a unit, and it would be this week, but I wasn’t going to make the decision standing in my driveway. I said I would not show his bid to anyone else, and I would get back to him if I was interested.

Sweatbusters finally arrived. No, I did not need a new air handler box. No, I did not need UV lights sterilizing my air. I think he thought I was poor because I complained so much. He said I could have a 14-SEER Rheem system for something like $5600.

I was so ecstatic, I told him to look at 16-SEER and Carrier. He came up with about $7600. It sounded great to me. More efficient and, supposedly, better quality. I asked if $6500 would work, but all I could get out of him was 3%, which was nothing to sneeze at.

I know I said I wasn’t going to make a decision in my driveway, but I did. I said, “Let’s do it.”

He admitted the old unit might be repairable, which was more than anyone else would do. I didn’t care, because I think the world is ending, and if I squeeze several more years out of the old unit, God only knows what I’ll pay for a new one when it dies.

He flat-out admitted the new system won’t last 22 years. He said they’re all Chinese now. Some are assembled in America, but they’re all Chinese.

I probably could have done somewhat better, but I didn’t want to spend the rest of the week haggling.

He went to his Sweatbusters truck, got his tools, and checked my refrigerant level. It was two pounds low. He got a jug of refrigerant and pumped it up. No charge. The new system won’t be installed until next week, so he wanted to make the old one run until then. Now the unit will work for another 10 months.

The jug of refrigerant cost his company $1500, up from $400 in the recent past. One Monday, he went to work, and the price had changed. And the supplier was selling old stock it had already paid low prices for.

Anyway, he gave me a week of cool nights for nothing and said they would do it again if the air got hot before the installation.

He told me why Freezcorp wanted me to buy a Lennox. Lennox owns Freezcorp. They can’t sell Carriers even if they want to, and they don’t want to.

I guess naming Lennox makes changing the name of the contracting company pointless.

It seems to me that this is how you do business. You don’t treat a customer like a mechanic treats a woman. Freezcorp treated me like a complete moron. I’ve probably had 8 air conditioning systems installed or given major repairs in the last decade. I’m not that stupid.

My dad got fooled into buying a UV light for his system. I think it cost $1500. It was a galvanized box with a light fixture inside it. Cost to manufacture probably $25. I Googled it. They do absolutely nothing, and even if they did, the tubes go bad fast. I have never known anyone who got sick because his air conditioner didn’t have UV lights. Have you? No. Of course not.

All I wanted was an upper-tier AC system without a bunch of garbage attached to it, and I would have bought it tomorrow from the first company had they given me the option. Instead, they insisted on trying to rip me off. They preferred insulting my intelligence and trying to cheat me to making a fast, honest, and substantial dollar. There are some people you just can’t do business with even if you try.

Mike told me I should have bought the system and installed it myself. Yeah, maybe in February. Not in June. This is not the time to become an instant HVAC tech.

Tonight I will have cool air, and next Wednesday, I will have lower power bills and less concern about the condition of my systems. Even if this system stinks, it shouldn’t start to show it until 2032.

Am I in a position to tell contractors they should do business like Sweatbusters? I don’t know. You can make a lot of money lying to people. Like P.T. Barnum said, there is one born every minute. I guess it’s completely possible to build a huge customer base composed entirely of extremely gullible people. If it weren’t, companies like Bose and Starbucks would not exist.